//------------------------------// // A Victim of Circumstance // Story: Thieves, Spirits, and Romantics // by Impossible Numbers //------------------------------// Over the rooftops, a pair of long-tailed paradise birds weaved through the air and around each other, their tail feathers streaming out behind, almost entwining. Beyond lay the Desert, a haze from horizon to horizon shimmering through the heat rising from the city, but for the moment simple in its beauty, pale and gentle on the eyes, undemanding, silent, and still. Even the city huddled quietly from up here. Streets cut through the heart-shaped domain like scars, but scars that had since lost their pain, become a curious part of the character, and let the body go on living. Crowds and carts slipped through them like tendrils of brown water. Cranky and Matilda sat on the lip of the tower. They simply watched. Occasionally, the high winds smoothed down their coats. Sitting around them were other couples. Cranky paid them no mind. Everyone knew what they were here for. Only the high winds whispered, and glancing about, he noticed several couples had closed their eyes and raised their heads. Manes flowed. He felt young again. Once, in the days when hope had filled him to the brim and poured out of his eyes and ears, he’d tried his luck beyond the Equestrian borders. Perhaps, he’d thought, Matilda was a stranger who’d ventured forth. It would’ve been her style. Borne along by that hope, he’d come to Arabia Phoenix and asked random strangers and, at the end of a day that had singed his hairs, found the place they called Contemplation Tower. He’d never forgotten the view. Close as it was to the sun, the peak was saved by the secret winds. There’d been fewer couples back then. Perhaps, even now, some of them sat alongside him too, no longer alone. If he ever found her – he’d sworn, while the sun set and the sky dimmed and the Desert was swallowed by shadows – then he would come back. He would bring her here. They could sit in a silence that said everything it could, and speak louder than any speech, because some things couldn’t be said at all, but only experienced. In some ways, he was comforted by the lifelessness of it all. The sun descended, the sands blew on, the world quietly and thanklessly supported everything that existed, and it had done, and was doing so in a million other places, and would continue doing so long after he was gone. He could almost see the countless lives staring out at the same dunes he saw right now, across endless years and unfathomable miles. No annoying voices, no unthinking stupidity, no barging in on him when he was trying to relax. And today, no pain. Nothing but a contented heart. They’d named it Contemplation Tower for a reason. Some ancient Saddle Arabian monk had built it as a way to get closer to the stars. Apparently, he’d hoped to catch wisdom among the lights. The stories said he’d visited every day, and had died a happy stallion. Cranky glanced at Matilda. Her smile was subdued, and the years stretched her face a little, but behind it – he was sure – she kept the bursting, blooming, broadening flare of relief, held back for decades and waiting to be released all at once. He wondered what she’d been thinking the whole time. Had she been like him, slowly dying of despair with each passing town? Had she ever wavered, even flickered, for a moment in her belief that she’d see him again? That seemed to be what any normal jenny would’ve done, but she’d been so unsurprised to see him when they finally met. Granted, Pinkie had prepared her in advance, but surely not by enough, and especially not in a matter of minutes? If anything, Matilda had smiled and cheerfully announced herself as if she hadn’t expected anything less of him. Right when he’d given up. Right when he’d retired. No. What else could he have done? She’d told him all those years ago that she’d come from a jolly nice town. Town? Ponyville had looked more like a village getting too big for its britches. He’d barely considered stopping, at least except for a brief second, while riding the train south of Canterlot. It’s OK, the wind seemed to whisper in his ears. You are together now. Yeah, he thought, but I could’ve searched everywhere. Not just the towns and cities. I should’ve tried harder. You tried so hard. You were rewarded. You are together now. Well yes, but… it took too long… I mean, it worked. Or at least I got lucky. Not much you can do about that, I suppose… He sighed. There was no point arguing with himself. As Pinkie put it, he’d only win-lose. Ah, well. What’s done is done. Funny: that’s easier to think when nothing bad has happened to me. Eventually, at some unseen prompting, he and Matilda got up. They stepped with care; even a quiet hoofstep might be an unwelcome prod in the ear of contemplation. They descended the spiral stairs without saying a word. That suited Cranky just fine. The temple they emerged into was candlelit; several figures sat or kowtowed or stood in utter silence. Even the attendant donkey monk bowed and mouthed his goodbye when they passed him along the back to the exit. Both of them eased the door shut behind them. And turned around and walked right into the shouting, stamping, jostling, waving, laughing, snorting, careless crowds. “Well,” muttered Cranky before a zebra bounced off his flank. “That was too good to last.” “Look on the bright side,” said Matilda while he took a minotaur’s knee to the croup. “It was every bit as magical as you promised. While it lasted, I mean. We absolutely must come back!” “Ow.” Cranky glared at the gaggle of earth mares giggling their way through. “Well, Pinkie better start saving up, then.” “Doodle! You can pay for the next one. Pinkie’s done more than enough for the two of us.” He sighed. “Yes, Matilda.” “I think we should buy us a scrapbook. Given what happened to the last one, I’m sure Pinkie would love to see what new memories we put into this one.” “Yes, Matilda.” “And don’t use your ‘henpecked’ voice with me, Doodle. You know that’s unfair.” “Yes, Matil – I mean, right you are, ma’am.” “Very funny,” she said gravely. Cranky and another group of ponies jolted to a stop, narrowly avoiding a collision. They circled round each other warily before continuing. “Matilda, my love?” he said. “Yes, my dear Doodle?” “Where the heck are we going? I’m going to get bruises in a minute.” Matilda laughed. “You’ll forget your own head next. The Epic Poetry Café, of course! I imagine the girls will have lots of wonderful things to tell us.” “Can we get out of this crowd? Ow! That last horse just trod on my ear!” To Cranky’s relief, they found a quiet side road and slipped down it. Sheer walls guarded them on either side, shade covered all but a narrow strip, and apart from the odd beggar sitting in a pile of rags, it was empty. “Why, Doodle, I thought you loved get-togethers?” Matilda batted her eyelashes. “Remind me how we met again?” “Come off it, Matilda. The Grand Galloping Gala is hardly a get-together. It’s more like a ‘stand-in-the-same-dozen-royal-chambers-and-act-politely-together’. Anyway, how often does anyone get to have a look around the castle?” “You should go with Pinkie Pie. She and the girls always make things a lot livelier whenever they go.” “Matilda, it’s Pinkie Pie. She could make a graveyard livelier.” “Ha, yes. I could just imagine her inviting the skeletons and dancing with the ghosts. She’d use black balloons, of course. And a gravestone cake.” It occurred to Cranky that Matilda had had years to get to know Pinkie. Either she was a good-natured and adaptable jenny, or she’d had her sanity beaten down under the sheer onslaught. Stepping carefully over a long-legged horse beggar, Cranky grimaced. “This is going to sound strange, but in some ways she reminded me of you. When you were that age, I mean.” “Good gracious, I don’t think I was ever that crazy,” said Matilda, who stopped to throw a coin into the beggar’s bowl. “Maybe in my teens, but you never saw me that young.” “No, not that! I meant… you know… full of beans.” They turned, following a zigzag trail through the maze of side streets. This area was much more open; actual sunlight blazed along one wall and cut through the gaps in the adobe towers. “You have seen Pinkie Pie eating, haven’t you?” said Matilda. “Darn it, you know what I mean! Full of beans! Energetic! Vigorous! Lively!” Then he caught her sidelong grin. “Oh, shucks.” “Of course I know what you mean, Doodle. I’m just teasing you.” “I walked into that one, didn’t I? Ha. So what’s changed?” “Nothing. You’re still an easy target, for one thing.” Cranky sighed. Anyone else suggesting that would’ve had words drilled into their ear, assuming his glare hadn’t blinded them. “All right, all right,” he said. “I’ll tone down the crankiness, if it makes you feel better.” She pressed her head against his neck; Cranky bristled at the curls scratching his jowels. “Just be yourself, Doodle. Nothing could be better than that.” “Save the afterschool special for the little fillies, Matilda.” “Now now, Doodle. One thing you learn in a place like Ponyville is that sometimes, the simplest truths are the hardest ones to follow. But the richest and the most rewarding –” She broke off. “Well, well, well! Look up there.” “HEY! CRANKY! MATILDA! HELLOOOOOOO!” Cranky did so, wincing as they entered a path of sunlight. Under his shielding forelimb, he could squint painlessly upwards. At first, he thought the pegasus was overweight. However, as soon as it started drifting downwards, he noticed one yellow body and one pink one. Yellow wings flapped hard enough to blow gusts into his face. Yellow limbs wrapped around a pink torso. The pink body’s face looked like it’d burst into a grin. The yellow body’s face merely looked like it’d burst. “Pinkie Pie!” Matilda laughed. After a grunt, the pegasus let go of Pinkie before they even reached two yards from the ground. Pinkie, of course, bounced and then landed smartly on all fours. Her less fortunate companion dropped belly-first. “Have you seen Spike anywhere?” Pinkie said. Beside her, the pegasus panted and melted with sweat. “We thought a pegasuseseses’-eye-view was the best way to go, but now I’ve got no idea which way he was supposed to go.” The pegasuseseses’ gasping groans suggested that “We thought” meant “Pinkie thought it and I somehow ended up doing it”. Cranky looked down at her. “Er, you OK kid?” Course she’s not OK, you idiot! Just look at the state of her! How far into heat stroke victim territory can you get while still being OK? “F… Fresh… as a… newborn… l-lamb.” She eased herself onto all fours, half-slipped, and eased herself fully upright again. “You want some help?” Cranky watched her stagger. She was almost cross-eyed. “Just… Just give me a second… to catch my breath…” Pinkie put a steadying hoof on the staggering pony’s withers. “See, we thought the best way to spot him was to see as much, much, much of the city as we could see! But I can’t fly, and Fluttershy can fly, but she can’t spot things like I can, and I can spot things like I can, so I thought: Hey! I’ve got a great idea! What if we work together and fly and spot things like I can? And hey presto, you get Pinkie Shy! Or Flutter Pie! Hm… Flutter Pie… That sounds like a good name for a recipe, don’tcha think?” Cranky smiled grimly. “In the middle of the day? In Saddle Arabia?” “When friends work together, there’s nothing that’ll stop ‘em from winning against the odds!” He turned to Fluttershy. “And you agreed to this?” “At first.” Fluttershy tried to focus on him, but ended up focusing on his left ear and Matilda instead. “It… sounded like a good idea… at the time.” “Spike?” Matilda frowned at them. “But I thought –” “He changed his mind,” said Pinkie. “Last thing we know, he was looking for Twilight. Then, we kinda sorta lost him. But it’s OK. I know he’ll turn up sooner or later. Friends always meet up again, because they’re like glue. Or candy apples. Or chewing gum.” Cranky once again marvelled at the optimism on display. A kid wandering the streets alone in a strange city which – whatever the authorities said these days – must still be a hotbed for thieves and lowlifes, and Pinkie thought she had the universe exactly where she wanted it. He glanced at Fluttershy, who’d mastered the ability to stand upright but who had yet to relearn the art of not-swaying-while-doing-so. “How long were you looking?” She shrugged, dangerously throwing her balance a step to the right. “How long since… we split up?” “Three hours, I think.” “Then…” Fluttershy’s lips moved with silent calculation. “Two hours, fifteen minutes? Give or take?” Cranky gaped at her. That was another thing he was learning about Pinkie Pie, though. She was much too big for her body, so essence of Pinkie spilled out around her like an aura. Ponies back home had spoken to him in perfectly reasonable, perfectly calm, perfectly sensible ways, had scoffed at some of the less practical ideas he’d had for home improvement or for job-seeking. But stick Pinkie Pie in amongst them, and within minutes they were pulling out bass speakers, climbing furniture, and waking up with lampshades and punch bowls over their heads. And there was logic of a sort in the Flutter Pie plan. The pieces were there, they all fit together, they solved the problem they were meant to solve, and all you had to do was throw out the bits marked “common sense”, “reality”, and “are you out of your gosh-darned mind?” “I’m sure he’ll turn up soon.” Pinkie smiled weakly at them. “Oh, Pinkie, Pinkie, Pinkie,” said Matilda. “And you too Fluttershy! Whatever will you think of next? Listen: why don’t we take a break, get a nice cool drink to refresh ourselves, and then ask the Watch for help? I’m sure Spike’s a smart little dragon. We’ll find him sooner or later.” “Yes!” said Fluttershy at once. “I mean… uh… that is a good idea. I hope… Sorry, I think I’m still a bit woozy…” “Here, let me help you.” So they continued onwards, Pinkie bouncing ahead and going on about plans for scoping out the city, Matilda supporting Fluttershy and making encouraging noises, and he, Cranky, bringing up the rear. Looks like the circus is in town, he thought. They ventured around the next corner. They made about five seconds’ worth of progress. Then, they all heard the scream. It cut off mid-way. Another scream cut off again. Pinkie jumped. Matilda jumped. Fluttershy went through the equivalent of six hours’ recovery time plus aftercare in a heartbeat, and practically shot up into the air on full alert. Cranky followed their stares to the nearest corner. Another side road, this one darker than the others. “Uh… Matilda?” he whispered. Suddenly, talking at even normal volume didn’t seem like a good idea. “Yes, Cranky?” she whispered back. “Did you hear a scream just now?” “Was it the one that cut off mid-way?” “Yes.” “Then yes, I did.” “Wh-Wh-What was th-th-that?” moaned Fluttershy overhead. All three of them inhaled deeply and held their breaths. Pinkie crept towards the dark corner. “Pinkie!” hissed Cranky. “What are you doing?” She pressed her back up against the wall. One quick peek. They watched, not daring to rush forward and save her from herself. When Pinkie looked back, her face was pale. “Come on.” Matilda stepped carefully, as though navigating a mine field. “Matilda!” Cranky slunk after her. “What are you doing?” As they approached however, they heard voices. Muffled laughter. Not nice laughter, either. “We should at least see what’s happening,” whispered Matilda over her shoulder. “That’s what we’d do in Ponyville.” “We’re not in Ponyville!” “Doodle. What if someone needs help? You’d rather ignore them?” He held his hoof off the ground in mid-step. “N-No, but… but couldn’t we call the Watch?” Ignoring his own words, he joined her in leaning over Pinkie’s back. Flapping feathers tickled his ears; Fluttershy peeked round the corner above them. Past a leaning pyramid of crates – some leftover desire for normality seized Cranky’s brain and asked what all those crates were actually for – within the shade, a bunch of cloaked ponies huddled together. One uncloaked, rather off-white earth mare quivered between them. She was getting whiter by the second. “Bandits?” whispered Matilda. “I-I h-h-hope n-n-n-n-not,” whispered Fluttershy. After that, her teeth chattered. From the alleyway, the off-white earth mare struggled to stand still against her own quivering. Something metallic glinted on her neck. Now that Cranky focused, one of the cloaked figures was glowing where a unicorn horn would be under that shadowy hood. “I don’t have anything!” squeaked the earth mare. “Please!” “Oh yeah?” said one of the cloaked ponies. The voice was feminine, though only technically. In another life, the rumbling boom of her tones might’ve belonged to the sort of headmistress who threw girls over the school fence for looking funny. All the bandits’ horns glowed. Not a single one was a pegasus or an earth pony. At the earth mare’s hooves, sheets and dirt shifted. When the dust cleared, a pit sparkled. “So!” rumbled the booming voice of what must’ve been the leader. “What do you call this, then? A mirage, is it?” “P-Please…” “We saw you rooting around here just now. The cheek of it! This is our patch, girly. Get your own street.” “Of-Of c-c-c-course. I-I-I was just… aheheheh… I was just leaving…” When she ducked and reached down to pick up the sparkling things, however, the knife twirled round. She paused. Once more, the blade glinted again and pressed against her neck. “Oh no you don’t, lassie.” The leader stepped around her, idly taking time over each stomping hoof while the figure tried to follow her without turning a single neck muscle. “This looks like pretty good stuff, and what you’re doing was pretty bad stuff. Muscling in on our territory! So I’ll tell you what: you pay us the compensation we’re due, and we might just let you keep your head.” “NO!” The mare gasped at the prod of the blade. “N-No! Please! I-I-I c-can’t leave without –” “You dare defy me? Your head or your loot, girl! We won’t ask again.” Cranky gulped. This didn’t fit anywhere in his vacation plans. His entire body yelled with the effort of expunging it, preferably by putting as much distance between itself and that scene as possible. That circle of shadowy unicorns. That wide-eyed terror. “That poor mare,” whispered Pinkie. “We should do something!” “Sh-Sh-Should we?” said Fluttershy. My thoughts exactly. Those bandits look like they mean business. “Yes!” said Pinkie at once. “A friend in need is a friend indeed! We can’t just leave her there all alone!” Cranky blinked. …also my thoughts exactly. I’ve been there a few times on my travels. Good grief, what I wouldn’t have given for a friendly face at those times. “Yes,” he whispered. “I vote we call the Watch. Whatever you do, don’t draw attention to ourselves – Matilda!” To his shock, Matilda stepped up and strode right up to the bandits. “Matilda!” he hissed. “What the hay are you doing!?” “Excuse me, ladies! Coo-ee!” As one, the bandits spun around. Hooded though they were, puzzlement radiated from the group. Even the earth mare stopped shaking. The leader loomed before her. “Who let you wander in? Get lost, lady! This is not your territory!” “This is an open city,” snapped Matilda; Cranky instantly remembered an unfortunate incident involving a Gala menu, false advertising, and a waiter who’d ended the night crawling into the kitchens whimpering about a she-demon of a customer. “And even if it wasn’t, nothing gives you the right to behave so disgracefully! How dare you threaten this poor filly, you brute!” “She’s going to get creamed,” moaned Fluttershy. “I can’t watch. Can someone tell me what’s going on?” “Oh, boy,” muttered Pinkie. “It’s the Look. Matilda’s got the Look.” It occurred to Cranky that Pinkie had had a long time to get to know Matilda. “A Look? Matilda?” “Trust me. This is going to be one big ouch.” “Matilda’s in danger!” Cranky stepped forwards. “Not for her, silly. For them.” True to Pinkie’s word, the bandits backed away. They must’ve faced police officers, backstreet lowlifes, and other bandits before now, but Matilda’s voice and glare was something else. And she did look like someone’s grandmother. “We could’ve had such a wonderful vacation,” continued Matilda, “and we were too! This city is beautiful! Then we find you ruining the peace! Ponies of your age, lurking in alleyways? Waving curvy knives around? Good grief, what must your parents think if they could see you now? In fact, I’ll bet you haven’t even seen them in months, or written to them. Disgraceful!” A couple of the bandits hung their heads in shame. The rest looked around for support, which is hard to find when everyone else is looking around for it too. Only the leader remained unmoved. “Are you quite mad?” she boomed. “Now look,” said Matilda. “In my day, when ponies stumbled onto your property, the polite thing to do was to ask them if they needed help and guide them back gently. If they wanted to be on their own, you let them get on with it. You certainly didn’t threaten them, or try to terrify the poor things. Different strokes for different folks.” “Indeed,” boomed the leader. Her scimitar was unsheathed instantly. Behind her, the earth mare glanced down at the lowering knife near her neck; everyone else was avoiding any kind of eye contact. Hooves shuffled. “Look,” said one bandit shakily. “Um…” “Manners cost you nothing, you young whippersnappers. Now, what do we say to the poor mare?” said Matilda. Hooves shuffled again. Cloaks squirmed. “Uh…” ventured one of them. “S… Sorry?” tried another. “With strawberries and cream?” offered a third, not wishing to be left out. Cranky gaped as the bandits stepped back respectfully. “How in the hay did she do that?” “Oh, Matilda’s nice enough,” said Pinkie breezily. “It takes a lot to make her mad. But when she does go mad, whoo! Even Granny Smith steers clear of Matilda on a bad day, and she must be centuries old!” “They… do seem to be calming down,” said Fluttershy, in the hopeful tones of one seeing light at the end of the tunnel. “I know she’s got a sharp tongue around quality grape juice, I’ll say that much,” said Cranky weakly. “It’s the age,” whispered Pinkie in his ear. “I once broke her favourite vase when I was visiting to look at her scrapbook, and it turned out it was one of the last things her mother gave to her long ago. Oh my. It was like Granny Pie all over again, but up to eleven! Twelve! Twenty five, even!” Pinkie shuddered. “Matilda didn’t forgive me for weeks.” And I suppose those bandits help too. They sound kind of young. I know growing foals are supposed to lose the sparkles in their eyes when seeing their parents through ‘em year in, year out, but something about grandparents never changes. It’s like oak turning harder with age. Put a bodybuilder stallion around a granny, and suddenly he’s the scared little kid who spilled milk on the carpet again. Only the leader was immune to it. She leaned forwards, scimitar rising. “What a nice pearl necklace you have there,” she boomed. Cranky stiffened. Even the other bandits shook their heads warningly. “Uh…” said one. “Why, you cheeky little devil!” said Matilda. “Didn’t your mother teach you any manners?” The leader hesitated. “Put that shiny sword down before you do someone an injury. You should know better than to wave things like that around, especially a smart mare like you.” The earth mare tilted her head down. By now, the levitating knife was down to chest height. All the bandits watched the leader, who was also lowering her own scimitar under the onslaught. Before she raised it again. “Meanwhile, back in the real world –” Pinkie yelled and rushed forwards. Fluttershy zipped after her, on the basis that it was probably OK if there was someone between her and trouble. Cranky yelped in shock at the same time the leader raised her head in surprise. The earth mare lashed out. The knife that had hovered around chest height a moment ago now bounced off the wall, knocked the leader's rising scimitar out, and smacked against the opposite wall. Both blades clattered. What happened next was too fast for Cranky to follow. Off-white blurs, loud yelps, and several thumps featured prominently. Fifteen seconds later, the whirlwind of colour coalesced into the earth mare standing and panting. Half of the bandits were unconscious and sprawled either side of her. Down the side streets went stampeding hooves; the rest had spontaneously seen the errors of their ways and were already keen to look for jobs involving honest work and – more to the point – fewer chances of getting shouted at. Danger over, Fluttershy landed next to her. “Are you OK?” The earth mare grinned, or at least showed her teeth. “Never better.” “That was amazing!” Pinkie bounced up and down on the spot. “You were like some kind of ninja-samurai-judo-boxing champion! One moment they were all like, ‘I’m gonna get you with this curvy sword thing! Swoosh! Swoosh!’ Next moment, you were like, ‘Enough talk! Time for action!’ BAM! BOOM! POW! KER-SPLAT!” Finally getting her breath back, the earth mare said, “Thank you. I really mean it. For a moment there, I thought I was a goner.” Feeling a bit stupid, Cranky loped over to them. He had a horrible feeling Matilda wanted words with him; her look was cold and not inclined to much sympathy. “Those guys looked really scary,” he said. A tad too defensively, if he was honest with himself. Matilda opened her mouth immediately, but the earth mare waved a hoof. “Please don’t blame him. They were pretty scary. Terrifying.” She sighed at the ground. “It was my own silly fault. If they hadn’t jumped me, I might have stood a chance. But I was rushing through. I was careless.” “It’s not a crime to rush things,” said Matilda gently. “You really should’ve been more careful, though,” said Fluttershy, patting the mare on the shoulder. “They say the crime rate’s gone down in this city, but it’s not a good idea to go down dark alleyways at the best of times. Thank goodness you were lucky this time.” “What’s your name?” said Pinkie. “Mine’s Pinkamena Diane Pie, but most ponies call me Pinkie. Or Miss Pie. Or ‘Hey you, turn down that music’.” A flicker passed across her face. “Pinkamena Diane Pie? That’s… an unusual name.” “Oh no. Where I come from, lots of ponies are called Pinkamena.” “And what is your name?” said Cranky. He hadn’t liked the flicker, and part of him insisted he contribute something. “Oh.” The stranger blushed. “Well, I, er…” He glanced down at the sparkling pit. Hidden within was a trench coat, a wide-brimmed hat, a pair of sunglasses, one gold-looking sceptre, and something lumpy and dark. This last one was partially concealed beneath everything else. “Oh, that’s mine,” said the mare, reaching down hastily with both hooves. “Just junk.” “Nice sceptre,” said Cranky dully. “Very nice sceptre.” “Ooh.” Fluttershy hovered over the pit and leaned down. “A lightning sceptre! I heard about them at the weather factory in Cloudsdale.” The earth mare beamed up at her. “Really? Oh, but of course. You are a pegasus, after all. Yes, I picked this one up on my travels. Quality, isn’t it?” “Those are very rare. I never thought I’d ever see one.” The earth mare giggled. As she reached down to pick up the coat, Cranky moved forwards and swiped. Heavy cloth slumped away from him. Below the coat, pink tendrils glowed. “Doodle!” Matilda said. “For shame! Give her some breathing space! The poor girl’s been through enough.” “That stone,” he said. Smooth, oval-like surface gleamed up at him. “Oh, er.” The earth mare snatched at it. Much too late. Even as she stuffed it behind her trench coat and slipped her legs down the sleeves, he knew he’d seen those blackened edges before. After Contemplation Tower, he’d tried his luck at some of the more cultural locales in the city. Out of passing curiosity, he’d visited the Paradise Museum. Not that he remembered much now, but when he’d entered the hall and seen the centrepiece, lurking like a dark spirit in the midst of the lesser gemstones orbiting it like model planets, he knew he’d never forget the Djinnestone. Across the sky, an explosion boomed out. Cranky swore he felt the shock wave course through him in that split second before he realized the air was ripping itself apart under the echoes. Screams broke off in the distance. Pinkie screamed. Fluttershy dropped a foot before catching herself mid-fall. Matilda brayed in alarm. “What are you!?” yelled Cranky. Slipping on sunglasses and hat, the earth mare reached down for the sceptre. “That’s my cue. I really am sorry about this. If there was any other way –” “You thief!” Cranky leaped forwards. The earth mare simply ducked. He hit the ground and tumbled over, landing heavily on an unfortunate bandit who’d just woken up and started getting up again. He turned. The earth mare leaped out of range, but as Matilda, Pinkie, and Fluttershy were still several seconds behind on events, the leap didn’t avail her of much. “Sadly, I can’t leave any witnesses,” she said. With that, she held up the Djinnestone. Which glowed. “Stop her!” shouted Cranky. “Darn it, you slowpokes! Get that stone off her now!” “Whatever you say, Bossy Donkey!” Pinkie saluted and pounced. A ball of purple flames burst out of the stone and wrapped around her. One moment, a pony-shaped inferno waggled its limbs in mid-air surprise, and the next, the flames flowed over and Pinkie was flat on the ground, pinned down by what looked like a Watch Pony in purple uniform. The purple Djinni sprouted a horn. Flames whipped across. Pinkie’s four hooves snapped together. Cuff links jingled. “Pinkie!” Matilda lunged forwards. “NO!” Too late, Cranky was on his hooves. Not you too! More fireballs shot out of the stone. Purple ones, pink ones, the occasional black comet: all spiralled around the earth mare’s trench coat and hat. Shades gleamed with each passing colour. All around, the remaining bandits who were awake now screamed and scurried out of sight. Flames scorched past Cranky’s face; he grunted and raised a protective forelimb. “Matilda!” “Oh my…” whimpered Fluttershy. “Oh my, oh my, oh my…” “Cranky!” Matilda reared up and swiped at a feinting ball, but her face drew back in sheer terror. “Get the Watch! Quick!” One of the fireballs engulfed her. It was a quick process. Matilda-shaped flames darkened rather than illuminated the surrounding alleyway. They drew back. She fell to earth, cuffed. With a scream, Fluttershy shot upwards, trailed by a single comet. Another Djinni coalesced from another fireball and threw Matilda over its shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Cranky snapped. He’d put up with Pinkie’s tendency to scream a lot, he’d put up with having a whole gaggle of mares in tow when he’d been hoping for a quiet getaway, he’d watched his own beloved risk her neck while he hung back like a baby – rage exploded in his chest. Weeks and months and years and decades of Cranky Doodle Donkeys brayed until the alleyway shook and the world turned blood-red, and he and his heart and his pumping brain and his throbbing veins lunged forwards, mouth open to bite the world back into a less frustrating, less tormenting, less outrageous shape. The earth mare leaped and vanished upwards. Yet again, Cranky tumbled across the ground. Burn though his mind did, his body creaked and groaned. Too many years tramping down too many streets. He’d always preferred the quiet life. “No, you don’t!” cried a familiar voice. When he looked up, silhouettes rushed down the alley. Three mares, one of them Twilight Sparkle. On her back, a baby dragon gaped at the scene and hopped off instantly. “They’ve got Matilda!” Cranky yelled. A dozen fireballs whizzed over his head. The stares of Applejack, Rarity, Spike, and Twilight glowed with various shades of pink and purple. Applejack moved first, leaping upwards. To his surprise, she managed to heave her rear half around in midair and – KICK! One fireball exploded into an expanding ring of sparks. Even she looked surprised before she hit the ground before him. Cranky coughed at the resulting dust cloud. “Well… that was easy,” she said. Behind her, the sparks slowed, stopped, then shot back together. The revived fireball hovered uncertainly. “Or not,” she added. More fireballs spiralled around Twilight and Rarity, who backed into each other. Cranky ignored them on the assumption that they’d probably figure something out, and spun round to face the earth mare. Through his pulsing, boiling rage, he noticed her backing away. Whatever her expression was behind those sunglasses and that collar, she suddenly didn’t seem particularly confident. Two of the pony-shaped Djinn marched away, carrying Pinkie and Matilda over their shoulders. POW! POW! POW! Twilight and Spike shot past him, followed by Rarity. Shaking the surprise out of her head, Applejack immediately joined the charge. Come on, Cranky! Get up! You’re better than this! Look at them, fighting for their friends! Come on, you old fool! Yet another dozen fireballs sprouted from the Djinnestone. All three mares and Spike leaped up. POW! POW! POW! Sparks exploded outwards. All three mares and Spike passed right through, still charging. What is going on!? Djinn shouldn’t be that easy to beat – Who cares!? Go, girls, go! Strength returned to him. He got up just as the earth mare raised the Djinnestone one last time. Flames engulfed her. A wall of dark flames covered her, Matilda, Pinkie, and the escaping Djinn. The wall of fire shielded them utterly. Spike yelped and jumped backwards. By the time the charging mares met it, the wall vanished. The alleyway behind it was empty. “NO!” Cranky tripped and stumbled forwards. “She can’t get away with this! That ungrateful… That monstrous…” In his haste, he stumbled too far and toppled forwards – – into the waiting spell of Twilight Sparkle. Shimmering lights ran across his vision. Suspended halfway to earth, his front began easing backwards. His legs braced for the landing. All around them, sparks hovered in midair. Even the ones that coalesced back into fireballs took no further action. The alleyway flickered with purple and pink lights. “What –?” he began. “We heard a scream,” said Twilight ahead of him. “And we saw Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie fly this way. As soon as we heard the explosion, I figured out the rest.” “It was a trick!” cried out Rarity. “The thieves must have hidden the real Djinnestone while taking the fake one as a decoy in case they were caught!” “Reckon they were plannin’ the jailbreak too?” said Applejack. “I wouldn’t doubt it for a second,” said Spike. “That nasty thief was waiting for it.” “Then, with a distraction, they could slip away unnoticed.” Twilight stepped forwards; Cranky saw her hooves appear before her and looked up into her businesslike frown. “But this doesn’t feel right. Once they obtained the Djinnestone, they must’ve realized how much power they had. Did you see anything, or hear anything?” Cranky gaped at them. They were speaking words, and in bits and pieces they sounded sensible, but the whole washed over him like splashes from a sudden volley of water balloons. One fact rose above all others. “She’s taken Matilda!” “And Pinkie Pie!” Spike hopped up and down on the spot. “They must’ve caught her in the act!” “How do we find her?” said Rarity. “For all we know, she’s slipped through a secret passage by now.” Around them, all the sparks now completed their respective fireballs. No further activity ensued. “Have they been… stunned?” Spike leaned across and tapped the nearest one. “Huh. Weird. It doesn’t even burn, look…” “I think I know where to go,” said Twilight. Cranky’s gaze sharpened. “Where? Where?” “If that explosion was the jailbreak, then the two of them will rendezvous somewhere close by. Once united, they can check they have the goods and make their escape. I just hope they don’t get the idea to rendezvous elsewhere, or we’ll have no chance. Come on. I don’t think there’s much time left.” “Uh… Girls!?” called out a voice overhead. “Girls!? A little help, please!?” They looked up. Fluttershy and a rogue fireball circled each other endlessly in a yellow-and-purple blur. “Oops.” Twilight blushed. “Come down here!” called Applejack. Fluttershy dived for the ground. At once, Applejack braced her legs. The fireball almost scorched Fluttershy’s tail trying to reach her. A swoop. A leap. Applejack yelled, “HIIIYAH!” Her forelimb swiped. Sparks exploded. Panting, sweating, heaving, but at least no longer shooting along in a yellow blur now, Fluttershy lowered herself to the ground. Pity stirred in Cranky’s chest, but the words They’ve got Matilda! They’ve got Matilda! bubbled and multiplied in his heart. Slowly but surely, they poisoned him from the inside-out. He could feel the numbness and pain fighting each other across his torso and down his limbs. “What shall we do with these?” said Rarity, gesturing to the floating fireballs. Twilight shook her head. “We’ll deal with them later. Find the ‘anchor’, find the source. Now listen to me. I think I know where they might be headed…” While they talked without him, Cranky willed himself to stay steady. Old age and new fears shook him. He looked up, past the slit of light between the alley walls, past the bucket-shaped water tower, and onwards to the distant peak of Contemplation Tower. “Not again,” he whispered. “I can't lose her again. Oh, Matilda!”