Sherbert - 20th of Megan, 29 AESherbert - 20th of Megan, 29 AE
Ponyville - Equestria
We had CC fly us directly back to Ponyville. We didn’t call Discord as soon as we left the tower. Not for lack of trying either. The spell just wouldn’t work anywhere under the ice.
Vinyl hadn’t wanted to talk to him in the middle of the still raging blizzard. I can’t blame her for that. The moment we stepped outside my suit started to ice up. It’s like the snow was mad that ‘Chemy’ was leaving.
I was.
Maybe I shouldn’t have been, but I was. He really did seem harmless, at least, as he was right now. But that’s the thing, he WOULD seem harmless. Discord had said, 'They seem to exist only to destroy, and are quite capable of killing myself and everyone like me. They are very bad news.' Those were his exact words.
And so were '...while eavesdropping on my own creator, I happened to learn that this universe exists as a lifeboat to escape a universe that ONE ancient Voidborn had gotten its tendrils into and was devouring.', 'The vast majority of them are extremely hostile, and very dangerous.'
Discord's words. Not mine. Yes. He'd said vast majority, not all. But he had also teleported to me, looking like he was ready to atomize a city block, and then said, 'it must be a very minor incursion. Perhaps just a few cultists being fed energy, at the worst it's a single minor Voidborn.'
Discord had been in full attack mode for a minor Voidborn, the kind that The Darkness claimed to be. Again, that was full attack mode for a MINOR Voidborn. For a thing of Dark aka Chem’s alleged power level, Discord had charged in ready for real serious battle.
You don't get that kind of fear from an immortal god-like entity from something which wasn't a thing to worry about. I mean come on! If I were a universe eating creature from beyond the edge of reality, I would do absolutely everything to convince people I was a nice guy. That's how you get them to let you eat their universe! You make them pity you, you make them trust you and want to help you, and all the while you eat away at their support structure until it comes crashing down around their unaware heads.
That's basic shinobi training. BASIC! To infiltrate a group, make them like you and empathize with you. Become the pitiful, yet likable wretch, that they just can't help but like and will never suspect to be the one who cut the ceiling support beams.
And what was Chemy doing? 'I hardly have the power to do that. I’ve been sitting here unable to eat for ages, running on reserves, and while that wizard was alive she was draining me...', 'I’m lonely, bored, and now there are other minds present who can do things which I don’t dictate.', 'Please remember that I’m slowly starving to death in here.', 'This asshole fucked with my essence...', 'I can lie, but it’s hard to bring myself to do that. Unless I’m in character for a bit, or roleplaying. '.
Alarm bells! ALL OF THE ALARM BELLS!
He literally said he couldn't lie unless he was doing quote 'a bit' end quote, and then he shows that he can create a pretty well crafted persona within seconds of thought. How was I the only pony here that saw this? He's a person who is a member of an exceptionally dangerous and hostile species, who has little physical power, but is able to create elaborate false realities, and seems to specialize in deception and presenting himself as something he's not, and then reveals that he can lie if he's in character.
Why am I the only pony here who didn't trust him at just his word? I'm not racist, Discord had said most Voidborn were bad, not all. Chemy very well could be completely honest and no threat at all. But we only had him to vouch for himself! We had NO other source of information. Just what he chose to say, and assumptions Vi and Lyra made.
Not. Remotely. Okay.
Not when dealing with a creature that has a relative which EATS UNIVERSES!
Vinyl had spend the entire flight back to Ponyville just chilling next to her possible pseudo-brother, chatting. Catching up on what they used to do, getting a feel for the guy. I really, really hoped everything was fine and that we weren't bringing a lying threat to all that lives back home.
Vinyl needed this. She was not in a good place right now. Ignoring the truth behind her origins, she'd been messed up even before she'd learned about that. And I'd worked it out. I'd figured out what was wrong with her.
She had said she was feeling lonely, that her old hobbies weren’t as interesting to her anymore. She'd seemed irritable, agitated, and had seemed to experience a brief flashback when we'd arrived at the train station in Hollow Shades. All the classic symptoms of PTSD.
She was a soldier, and an officer. I didn't know everything that the Knights of the Rampant Moon had done, I only had access to mission records for a month and I'd been dealing with Kazumi's mental problems and getting her comfortable at home. I hadn't had time to read up on the Order's history yet. That said, Vinyl is the youngest of the Knights, she's the one making the hardest decisions as the Captain, and I knew the sorts of things the Knights dealt with based on their declassified adventures.
I'm surprised that the entire Order wasn't having issues with past trauma. We're not like the Elements of harmony. We don't have super powerful vaguely defined, seemingly omnipotent magic artifacts we can point at to go 'they obviously protect us from that sort of thing'. We're just... Well, sort of normal.
Vi really needed this. She needed someone not attached to her work she could confide in. Octavia wouldn't work, Vinyl worked with Octavia. She'd in essence married a coworker. One she had authority over in the workplace. With how Vi tried so hard to be cool all the time, well, she had to be worried about opening up making her look weak...
A long lost sibling would be the best thing for her right now besides a therapist. But the odds were just too good that Chemy was pulling the wool over our eyes to find a place to take root and devour the entire world!
Ugh... I couldn't blame Vi for not summoning Discord on the ride back. She had to be excited to have someone not a parent, spouse, or co-worker to- Oh, Gods! ALL of her friends were work friends. That's not healthy at all!
“Hold on, girls,” CC's voice called from the cabin, pulling me out of my thoughts. “I'm setting us down in the fields just south of Ponyville. The city itself is too dense for me to feel comfortable landing in.”
I spread my hooves out to more firmly brace myself against the seat. CC's previous landing had been a bit rough and-
The shuttle gracefully touched down on the ground with a light tap, the landing legs creaking slightly as they took the shuttle's weight.
“Hey, how about that,” CC exclaimed happily, honestly surprised. “My first perfect landing. Okay, offense not intended, but you girls bringing someone back with you from that particular place has skived me out just a little bit. I mean, I get it. Sibling trapped in a creepy location. Still... How DID you survive that blizzard during the walk to the shuttle?”
Chemy shrugged. “Muffin button,” he answered with a little grin.
“No, really, how?” CC asked raising an eyebrow.
The pilot's chair creaking as she spun it around to look out of the doorway at his green cloaked body. Cemy chuckled and shook his head slowly.
“Magic cloak,” he replied, using a foreleg to wiggle the hem of his cloak for her. “I survived in the far north for a very long time, Ma'am. Machines won't do up there. Their failings simply don't allow even suits as well built and designed as the one my sister sports to last for months in such cold, wet, and abrasive conditions.”
CC nodded, seemingly quite satisfied. “Makes sense. Though I'll bet we could design a suit that would work for years at a time out there. Those are spacesuits, not arctic gear.”
Wait... Space suits could fail in the arctic? The arctic was more dangerous? But, how?
CC turned around and tapped a few buttons on the console, causing the cargo ramp to hiss open, slowly descending and flooding the cabin with the first dregs of light from the rising sun.
WOW! We had been gone all night! Good thing I'd opted for those no-sleep potions back in training. I could only imagine the hell that would be trying to soldier on through all of that.
“Alright everyone, let's go,” Vinyl said, getting out of her seat and walking out of the shuttle. “Thanks for the ride, CC. Oh! Uh, you want us to take these suits off here?”
“That would probably be for the best,” CC said with a laugh.
“I already ditched mine,” Lyra said, nodding to the storage locker near the cabin.
She'd taken that thing off almost as soon as she got back on board. Weird. You'd think she'd like suits with how much time she spent in that cybernetic human costume.
I stood up and slowly removed my own suit. The heavy material was a bit cumbersome to remove. Though with this being a spacesuit, that was kind of a good thing. You didn't want it to open up because you snagged a bit of it on a protruding rivet or something.
A minute later I stepped out of the suit, and immediately cringed at just how sweaty and grungy the inside was. I'd been sweating a LOT in that thing. You'd think that with how cold it had be- No. No ignore the thermometer's numbers. That was outside the suit. You were inside, with a heater.
As soon as Vi and I finished stripping the four of us waved goodbye to CC and stepped out of the shuttle. CC closed the ramp as we left, waving bye from the cockpit before the angular, vaguely teardrop shaped, wingless shuttle lifted off with a quiet humm, rising for a few dozen meters before extending its wings and vanishing into the distance with a dull roar.
Chemy shook his head slowly. “The technology of your world is so anachronistic,” he chuckled. “It's not the worst I've seen, but it's up there.”
Lyra laughed, her head shaking slowly. “Not really. It's just well, we have magic. Lots of it,” she corrected.
Vinyl nodded. “Yep! Ponyville's houses are about three hundred years old, sure. Yeah they still have thatch roofs, but the actual wood and stuff isn't what's keeping the rain and cold out. There's so much magic in those houses it's not even funny. They are actually a bit better than a modern designed tech based house over all.”
“You don't replace a building just because it looks old. They still work just fine, so they stay up. Besides, it's nice to preserve historic architecture,” Lyra added.
I did my best to keep myself from screaming in frustration, and only barely managed to succeed.
“Okay, so, girls,” I began, doing my best to keep calm, but unable to keep my ears from laying back in anger. “We need to get Discord to vouch Chemical Fire.”
Vinyl frowned, clearly not really wanting to do what we needed to do. Again, I couldn't blame her, not completely. But the fate of the world was almost certainly at stake!
“Yeah, we need to,” she agreed after a few seconds. “Sorry, Chem.”
“No no, it's fine. I completely understand,” he replied, holding up one hoof in the 'stop' gesture. “You only have my word that I mean no harm. You'd be stupid not to check.”
I frowned as his words brought fresh worry to my mind. That may mean he's on the level, or it could mean that he had a good trick ready to play which he thought would-
Hold it brain. What could possibly fool Discord?
Well, plenty, actually. He's not omniscient. He can be fooled. Heck, Fluttershy's fooled him before!
Then again, he could certainly tell us the true scope of Chem's power. So we'd at least know if he had lied about that.
Vinyl's horn seemed to ripple as she cast her summoning spell. Unlike the normal magical glow you'd see around a unicorn's horn, this spell was pure white, and manifested as splotches of shimmering white light. Almost the same moment Vi began to cast her spell, the air in front of her blazed white, the usual crystalline 'shing' which accompanied Discord's magic echoing across the field as the god of chaos appeared before us.
Wearing a bathrobe, pajama pants, fluffy pink slippers, and holding a cup of coffee. Well, I mean, duh. It was the buttcrack of dawn.
Discord yawned, and looked down at Vinyl critically. “I never thought you of all ponies would know my number. Reading Lulu's dairy in private, are we?” He asked with a playful smirk. “I'm not sure if you're aware, but I gave this spell to Celesta and Luna expressly for emergencies of the 'Sweet merciful heavens! It's swallowing the moon!' variety. While I'm impressed you can cast it, and now that I think about it the Princess's body guards should know it too-”
Discord paused, leaning over to Lyra and I to whisper, “Because if you ask me, those two are unable to use their magic in emergencies far too often. More than their age and experience should allow,” and then stood back up straight to continue talking to Vinyl.
“Don't use it again unless it's actually important or you want to go get ice cream,” he finished raising his talon to snap it and vanish back home.
“Wait!” Vinyl exclaimed rearing up to grab his talon with the urgency of... Well of three ponies standing next to a thing that should not be. “This IS an emergency. Lyra and I know about the stuff Sherbet promised you she would never never tell another soul.”
Discord snapped his talon.
I was ready for the globe of darkness which enveloped the five of us like our own personal starless night sky. Lyra and Vinyl were not. The two mares yelped in fright, tails raising in alarm as they looked around the tiny isolated pocket of the world we were now in.
Chem, on the other hoof nodded, seemingly impressed. “Pocket universe creator,” he said observationally. “Snazzy.”
Discord ignored his remark and turned to me. “I know you didn't tell them,” he said in a calm voice. “How much do they know?”
“Uh, we know about the people, place, and general power of everything living outside of universes,” Lyra said for me.
I cleared my throat. “Yeah. That about sums it up for what they know, but-”
Discord nodded twice cutting me off. “Alright, and what's this guy know?” He said jerking his paw's thumb over his shoulder at Chem before turning around to look at him. “And who is he?”
I felt my eyes dilate as I fell into an endless ocean of terror. He could hide his power level from Discord!
“He's how they know!” I blurted. “Scan him, right now! Him specifically. As hard as you can! He's really good at fooling your scans!”
Chem's ears drooped, his head turned to face me. “Ow...” He fake moaned. “I'd be more hurt but well, you are right. I easily could be tricking you right now. However, I am not. Sherbet is right, Mister Chaos, sir. You should take a good long look. You're missing something.”
Discord's eyes narrowed suspiciously. He leaned forward, looming over Chem's frail form. His talon snapped once, covering Chem with a bright flash of light and enough magic for me to feel the thaumaturgic current from the good six meters away where I was standing.
Discord's magic slowly cleared away, and he leaned back, floating in the air as he stroked his beard for a long time.
“Wow,” he said with genuine surprise after a full thirty seconds of just starting at Chem. “You are so near death that I can only barely find you in that puppet.”
Chem winced, a fearful look flashing over his face. “Uhhh, well, that's worse than I thought. I don't suppose you'd mind if I had just a quite bite to-”
Discord snapped his talon again, and iron bands appeared around Chem, both gagging and immobilizing him with that one snap of the fingers.
“Well done, girls!” Discord praised. “I never thought I would see the day where anyone managed to capture a Voidborn alive, much less people with your limits. I'll just take him someplace safe to interrogate and then dispose of. I'll have to think of a suitable reward for each of you, and of course, you can't breathe a word of this to anypony. I'll be needing some Pinkie Promises from each of you.”
Vinyl cleared her throat. “Uh, we didn't capture him,” she said with an urgent look in her eyes. “We let him go. He claims to just want a safe place to live.”
Discord wheeled around, staring me full in the face. “Sherbert, explain,” he ordered urgently.
I gulped nervously as his red and yellow eyes bored into my own.
“Vinyl and I went to Lyra's home to ask if she wanted to go to dinner with us,” I began, doing my best to summarize everything as briefly but fully as I could while also talking. “She was working on her thing to break her curse, and found a way to see Voidstuff. She noticed that Vinyl and I are saturated in it, and was curious.
“I told them I knew but promised you I couldn't tell anyone anything, so we went to Vi's parents house so she could ask them how they brought her to life as a foal. Turns out they had this guy do it for them, and he says he did it by repurposing his dead sister's soul. He sees Vinyl as his sister reborn, and I think she's starting to see him as a little brother.
“And he talked them into letting him out so he can watch over her, claiming that's all he cares about. Well, that and staging adventures of the ‘evil Overlord Returns’ variety so his sister could fight him and drag some of us along for the ride. And he claims to only have done that with some sort of VR like spell, so no one really ever actually got hurt.
“And now we're here because they want to have you make sure that he's trustworthy, and to get your permission for him to exist here. Which personally, I don't think you will because of how clear you made it to me that these things are SUPER dangerous and you know, you kinda made an entire factory vanish into the ether because they built a set of armor containing a Voidborn charm.”
Discord nodded once. “Yes. They are exceptionally dangerous. We are talking about creatures which consume entire universes quite literally for breakfast,” he agreed. “We will need to interrogate… And since he’s too starved to be a threat to me…”
Discord snapped his talon, banishing the restraints. Chem didn’t react much to his restored freedom. Maybe he couldn't?
Vinyl’s ears drooped sadly, but she otherwise remained calm looking. Lyra nodded slowly, her mouth taking on an odd expression.
“Yeah… Sherbert explained that,” Lyra said slowly. “I’m all for understanding risks, recognising danger, and doing something about it, but it just feels wrong to say that every single member of an entire species is evil.”
Chem’s ears perked up. “Oh! Fun Fact, in some universes that’s objectively true. I’ve been to tons of places where good and evil are actually parts of physics itself which can be measured and manipulated.
“What really bugs me is that every one of those universes where magic also exists, they can detect ‘alignments’ and in so doing, know if someone is good or evil. But here’s the thing, alignments don’t really change for the majority of people.
“And so you wind up in the very very dumb situation where the king’s adviser is a scheming evil person out to kill the king because no one thought ‘Hey, let’s make alignment screening a part of the job interview process’. It’s like they WANT to be constantly dealing with coups, evil mages, and other easily avoidable nonsense.”
Vinyl blinked and turned to Chem. “Wait there’s universes where physics are tabletop rules?”
“There are infinite universes. Everything that can be is, well, somewhere. You just need to find it,” he replied casually.
Discord raised an eyebrow, but didn’t acknowledge Chem’s ramble. Instead he floated backwards a bit to get everyone in his field of view.
“I did say that,” Discord said to Lyra. “And to be frank, of the eighty thousand total Voidborn we have encountered across this Universe’s thirteen previous cycles, exactly four have been non-hostile.”
Discord yawned, and lazily pulled a calculator out from behind my ear, quickly tapping out an equation on it before nodding to himself. “That gives us a stupid tiny fraction of a percent chance that this particular person isn’t hostile, and isn’t trying to consume our universe from within like some sort of Extradimensional Space Cancer.”
“I actually never got powerful enough to eat spacetime,” Chem said professionally. “It’s a cost benefit thing. Sure, this place is made of really tasty and nutritious stuff, but it’s very hard to break down into a digestible form. I’m still at the point where I can only eat other voidborn and psionic echos.”
Discord raised an eyebrow again. “Your kind eats each other?” He asked skeptical.
“Yeah! All the time, we’re our own primary food source. The only reason we’re not the best food source is we can fight back. That’s why many of us turn to other sources. It’s also why almost every Voidborn you ever see will kill you. So you don’t get the chance to eat it,” he elaborated with a sad sigh. “We’re not creatures which can become civilized people. I fully understand your distaste. My sister and I are only different because we chose to hide from our fellow voidborn by ducking into universes.
“It just so happened we discovered we could feed on the joy and despair of the little meat critters inside those bubbles, and so we started farming them. After all it makes little sense to cut down the apple tree to get at apples. Our first universe was full of freshly sapient lifeforms, we grew up with them. Did the whole god thing, and eventually left when, well, that universe got eaten.
“My point is that my sister an I are very atypical. We didn't mature under true survival of the biggest and meanest conditions. Unfortunately, few freshly spawned people seek shelter in universes. Because you know. Old Ones eat them.
“Good job hiding this one, by the way! We didn’t see it until just before Mage Meadowbrook reached out and yanked us inside. I doubt any threat you’ve faced has found this place by any means other than literally running headlong into it.”
“Mmmmhm,” Discord said slowly as he tapped his chin thoughtfully. “Well, I don't see any spell effects around you, and you seem to be telling the truth. But of course, you could be concealing your magic from me. Care to run that by me one more time?”
I cleared my throat. “Um, Discord? Is there any spell you could use to force any spells he has going to stop?” I asked curiously.
“I do, but at his current strength that would kill him,” Discord informed with a grim sigh. “Which isn’t something I want to do until I am certain he’s not that zero-point-zero-zero-zero-zero-zero four-nine percent which is not going to hurt anyone.”
“That seems a bit high,” Chem remarked.
“Why don’t we try making his aura appear?” Lyra suggested. “He implied that he’s basically a soul that’s able to exist without a body, so he should have an aura like any other living being. Do that and we can judge the quality of his character visually.”
“That would work, except he is able to create false realities,” Discord pointed out.
“They wouldn’t work on you,” Chem said urgently. “I do it by moving electrons in organic beings nervous systems to create false data. You’re not a corporeal creature, nor a machine, I have no ability to influence you.”
Discord hummed and turned to me again. “Is that true?” He asked skeptically, floating over to look Chemy in the eyes.
“Well, that is how he explained it to us,” I said with a nod. “But he could be lying.”
“That is true,” Chem agreed. “I could be lying. However, I think you will find that there’s no way to be scientifically certain of my intentions. We can take this as many steps as you are willing, but that final step will always require some level of trust.”
“This is true,” Discord agreed. “At some point it will be a matter of trust. But there has to be a reason for trust to exist, trust doesn't grow on trees. Celestia refuses to allow abstract botany.
“But fortunately for you, there is one way I can be absolutely certain of your intentions.”
I raised an eyebrow skeptical. Vinyl’s ears perked hopefully. Lyra pursed her lips uncertainty.
“How?” Lyra asked, taking a step towards Discord. “How can we be certain that someone who can alter our perceptions of reality is being honest?”
“Elementary my dear Lyra,” Discord exclaimed, snapping his tallon to summon forth a horrible looking brown checkerboard patterned hat and a wooden pipe. “When reality itself is suspect, one can only rely on evidence which comes from a source that can ignore reality.”
Chem and I blinked in unison.
Chem cleared his head of surprise with a little shake. “Um, I fail to see how such an entity could exi-”
Discord snapped his talon, summoning forth a large white flash of light which cleared to reveal a confused looking Pinkie Pie, standing up on her rear hooves and holding a spatula.
“-AAH!” Chem yelped, jumping back in what looked to be shock.
Pinkie’s ears flopped down sadly. “Dissy… I was making pancakes! They’re going to burn if I dont flip them right now,” she whined, giving Discord bambi eyes.
This is a brilliant idea! Why didn’t I think of it?
Discord shook his head defensively. “Now now, Pinkie,” he soothed. “I paused them for you. Far be if from me to ruin breakfast for the sake of national security. I won't even bother you for very long. All I need from you, is to turn around, and tell me what you think of the pony in the green cloak.”
Pinkie nodded and turned around, immediately squinting at the voidborn in concentration. She raised a hoof to her chin, leaning forward for maximum scrutiny. “Hmmmm….” Pinkie mused.
“Sooo, is he a bad guy?” I asked Pinkie hoping she’d say everything was fine.
Pinkie walked up to Chem, slowly circling him as she proceeded to check from every possible angle. Chem’s ears flattened in what looked to be fear as she circled him.
“Uh, h-hi,” he said, holding out a hoof for her to shake. “I’m Chemical Fire. Also known as The Darkness. It’s just a title. Not actually bad. What’s your name and uh, purpose? Reality failure reset button?”
Pinkie giggled and shook his hoof. “I’m a baker, sillyfilly!” She said with a big grin before looking back at Discord. “He seems fine to me! Can I finish cooking now?”
Discord nodded and floated down to gently rest his paw across Pinkie’s shoulders. “Of course you can, Pinkie. Thanks for your help! Oh, and you may wish to squeeze a welcome party in your schedule because-”
“Because he’s Vinyl’s long lost brother and he wants to move in to help her?” Pinkie guessed, doing her creepy on-the-nose guess thing.
“Exactly!” Discord said. “Ta-ta!”
He snapped his talon, returning Pinkie to the kitchen from which she came.
“What even was that?” Chem eeped, thoroughly spooked.
“That, Mister The Darkness, was Pinkie Pie,” Discord replied as he slowly turned around. “You do not anger the Pinkie. Nopony knows how she can do what she can do, not even me. Nonetheless, she can do it.”
“I uh… I believe you,” Chem said, trying to recollect his wits. “She’s not… Dangerous, is she?”
“She’s the exact opposite of that,” I said, feeling just a little insulted. “My aunt is one of the nicest people to ever exist!”
“Good! Good. I’ll take your word on that,” Chem said with a relieved sigh. “Soooo, I’m all clear? You all understand that I’m no threat to anyone who doesn't try to hurt my big sis?”
He should be. I mean, if Pinkie vouches for you, that’s more than enough.
Discord nodded once, then reached up with his paw to sculpt his face into a caricature of a serious expression.
“Very well then, ‘The Darkness’,” Discord said harshly. “Since Pinkie says you’re a good person, I will give you a chance to live here, IF you beat me in a game of your choosing. A game that is NOT your whole LARP Thing.”
I looked at Discord and raised an eyebrow. “You play O&O in LARP format with my aunts twice a month,” I accused. “Why not play him in his favored game?”
“That’s actually a good question,” Lyra said in agreement.
“Yes. We do,” Discord agreed. “The way I see it, it’s a fun game to play with friends, and Chemy is not my friend. It also takes a long time and I have things to do today. Important things. Things which will need some time to do. Things which may or may not involve ten thousand pies, Celestia, and a series of cleverly hidden catapults.”
Chem nodded once. “I understand,” he answered.
“Then choose a game. One which will not take all day to play,” Discord instructed, floating downwards into a lower position to get on a more ‘eye level’ position with Chem’s pony body.
Chem tapped a hoof to his chin thoughtfully for several moments, then his ears perked excitedly.
“I choose…” He began dramatically, only to suddenly rear up and conjure a small wooden box from nothing, while flourishing his cloak dramatically. “Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Roulette-Fourth Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Strip Poker!”
“PASS!” Discord moaned, rubbing his forehead slowly with his talon.
“What? Why?” Chem asked with a disappointed frown.
“The only intricate thing about that game is it’s ban list!” Discord protested irritably.
Vinyl raised a hoof. “Question, what even is that game and how can you even have something that combines chess and poker?” she asked.
“And how do you make it strip?” I added. “Do you dress first? How much clothes do you put on? OH! Is that the difficulty setting?”
Chem cleared his throat. “Also, how do you even know about that game? It only exists in the last universe I lived in. To my knowledge, that is.” he asked curiously.
Discord snickered. “Hold the phone,” he exclaimed with a huge grin. “Are you telling me that so many universes exist, that any given fiction will be real, somewhere out there?”
Chem nodded once. “Yes. Ohhhh! Was there a story here dealing with- Wait a minute! You rejected playing a round by quoting Magnus! Ha! Then you know exactly where I lived last. That place was the best! You should seriously play a hand though, it’s a great game when you’re playing.”
“Except it’s not,” Discord countered. “I played it when humans still lived on this world. They invented the analog version.”
Chem frowned. “Humans really do pop up everywhere, don't they?”
Lyra’s ears perked. “Wait, this is a human game? I want to play!” She exclaimed hopefully.
“No you don’t, it’s terrible,” Discord siad with a dismissive paw wave. “Literally anything else, Chem.”
Chem flashed Lyra a grin. “I’ll swing by your place later and teach you how to play. It’s fun! As long as you’re not playing with a certain cigar smoking bastard…” He grumbled, tapping his cardbox with a hoof. “Are you sure you won't play this? I don't have a cheap themed deck.”
“ANYTHING, else,” Discord sighed in irritation, turning around to face away from the thin stallion, crossing his arms over his chest.
Chem raised an eyebrow suspiciously. “Are you going to just do that annoying girlfriend thing where you shoot down every suggestion I have until I ask what you want to do and then we just do that?”
Vinyl and I snickered and looked away, doing our best not to burst out into a laughing fit
Discord moaned and drifted down to the ground. “No… No I’m not,” he sighed.
“Theeeeen you’ll play with me?” Chem asked with a hopeful smile, looking for all the world like an excited young colt.
“No, you’re fine. Just go. Have fun. Live a life. I wanted to determine what kind of a person you are by watching you play a game. But, knowing you’re the sort of geek who would risk his entire future on a round of a terrible children’s card game simply because you like it is more than enough,” Discord said with a shrug. “You’re free to do anything you like which a mortal could do, but do not leave this planet without telling me first. Enjoy your freedom. Ta-ta!”
Discord snapped his talons and vanished, taking the darkness bubble with him. We once more stood in the grassy field outside of Ponyville, the city a short ways away, lit by the pale orange glow of the barely rising sun.
“Awww…” Chem wined, his ears drooping sadly. “It’s a good game though…”
And now he looked like a young colt who had just been told there would be ice cream, but there was no ice cream.
OW! No, bad heart! Don’t feel this bad over an eldritch abomination not getting to play Zoroastrian-hyperbole… Whatever.
“I already said that I want to learn to play,” Lyra prompted, trying to cheer him up.
Vinyl nodded. “Yeah, she did. Why don’t I take you to see my house? You can settle down in the guest bedroom, then Sherbert and I can go get dinner like we planned before this whole thing. You two can go play some cards for a while.
“I promised dad I would take you by so he could apologize, but I want some time for my own emotions to settle down. I had a rough day before this whole shake up happened. I hope that’s cool with you.”
Chem nodded twice. “It totally is. I’m sorry for any stress and fear that I caused you three today. I understand how and why, and I don’t blame you for how you felt. I freely admit that I am very much someone who goes against the grain of my kind’s norms.”
I nodded once, and scratched the back of my head awkwardly. “Hey, um… I’m sorry for being a bit too harsh and overly cautious. Forgive me?”
“Nothing to forgive. Any of my own kind I’ve met myself who couldn’t eat a universe from the outside would do exactly what you thought I was trying to do,” Chem countered.
Vi smiled and shook her head. “Come on girls, and guy,” she said with a happy laugh. “Let’s get back to normal life. Oh, hey. We’ll need to introduce you to the rest of the girls, Chem.”
“Should probably keep his real nature classified, even from them,” I warned.
Lyra nodded in agreement. “Yeah, Sherbert’s right. Chem’s got to be just another pony to everyone else. Chem, you said that saying a Voidborn’s name can summon it, right?”
He nodded. “Mmmmhm. It’s best if no one in this world knows about us. It will keep you all safe. Soooo…” He began to trot forward eagerly. “Come on sis! I want to see your house. It’s been AGES since I got to see you? I think I was what? Four? Yeah, four!”
I shook my head slowly. It WASN'T a character he was putting on, was it? He really was just an energetic little dork who liked to play the villain. Probably because in fiction… Wait, let’s actually check this.
“Hey, Chem?” I asked as we all began to walk towards Ponyville. “Why do you like being the villain in your game anyways?”
“I get to have a cooler outfit,” he replied instantly. “Also you can ham it up and everyone appreciates you for it.”
I smiled and shook my head. Yep. Dork.
Man I feel bad for judging him like that… I’ll have to find a way to make it up to him. Maybe Pinkie would let me help with the welcome party? Yeah, that would do.
And if not, I’d make things right with him some other way. There had to be something I could help him with in the future. Heck, with a little luck, maybe it could be something cool! Or even an adventure!
And hey, if one couldn’t find us, well… Chem could definitely whip one up. Either way, I’m sure he’d enjoy it.