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// Pinkie's Feline Dealer, Thrilla Vanilla 
// Story: Pinkie Pie's Coke Dealer Gets Stiffed 
// by Super Trampoline 
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Pinkie's Coke dealer was a cat named Thrilla Vanilla. Like an actual anthropomorphic cat. You know, like Capper in the movie. Go see the movie if you haven't yet--support the hard working content creators! If Equestria has Diamond Dogs, surely they must have... fuck I don't know, some clever name for cats.

Anyway, Thrilla had a Kludgetown connect (bitch I'm dropping movie references whether you like it or not! No spoilers though.) who got him the good shit straight from South Amareica. Get it? aMAREica? God this is the laziest fucking ponification ever. Anyway, Thrilla hauled whole bricks of the stuff up to Ponyville on the regular, twice a week. Like we're talking probably a good twenty kilos switching paws/hooves every Tuesday and Saturday. No pony knew how Pinkie could afford it, but they suspected resale and her cut of Sugarcube's profits and her royal stipend had something to do with it. It was a fucking lot of cocaine. Like Archer: Vice levels.





Remember Archer Vice?




Anyway, one day our cool cat Thrilla was hauling his load through, uh--glances at a map of Equestria the Macintosh Hills (Remember those hills? From the OG Friendship is Magic Comic arc, issues #1-4. Damn, nostalgia all over this bitch.), when a cockatiel appeared. And not just any Cockatiel. This was an evil Cockatiel that turned ponies to stone!

Now at this point youz probably thinking "This Super Tramp fella is hella wack. What's a frickity frollicking fucking flying feathered cockatiel doin' stompin' around the obscure AF Macintosh Hills, turn all y'alls bitches to stone? Every fucker with a lick of sense knows it ain't no fuckin' cockatiel motherfucker who gonna drop ya homies like that. Hella wack. HELLA. WACK. 

Look at that mofo. Look at that cocky mofo. He may be a baaaaaad bird, but he gonna up and turn y'alls homies to stone? I don't fucking think so. But this ain't no fucking ordinary cockatiel, I tell you HWAT!