//------------------------------// // Chapter 125: Friendship Games I... Snore... // Story: A Journey Beyond Sanity // by Darkwing Dust //------------------------------// My Little Pony: Equestria Girls: Friendship Games is the most disappointing thing since- Ow! Alright, wasn't expecting that! The immediate collision forced me to stumble backwards in surprise, barely gripping the edges of the mirror in time before potentially being sucked right back in. Blinking rapidly, my already disorientation took a moment to adjust before spotting what I just smacked into upon arrival. Ah... Well, right on time! It seems punctuality remains your greatest attribute yet. But instead of opting to compliment the human variant on her choice of hoodie colour, gentleman instincts strode first. "Terribly sorry." My now-human hand lowered invitingly at the individual staring up at me, gaping from beneath the hood. "Are you alright? Let me help you up." One purple hand, in turn, reached all over for the device dropped on the floor before another slowly, hesitantly, extended to grasp mine. Easy now Stardust. Let's not scare this rather meeker version off. Heaven forbid you create a worse first impression than you already have. Quite right my friend. "There we go." I smiled softly, no desire in scaring the hilariously confused girl who just smacked into someone who appeared out of the very portal she was investigating. "Again, sorry about that. Are you hurt?" But fate, as always, liked to bite me in the [BEEP]. Or in this case, another voice responded from the school entrance. "Stardust? Hey!" Right where she needed to be. And Twilight, startled by the other newcomer, immediately pulled back from my grasp and proceeded to ran by the statue and I, heading towards where the plot told her to be. Sunset calls out to no avail, "Wait a sec!" And paused with a baffled expression as the disguised individual made it to the stopping bus and departed as quickly as possible. And you let her go. So I did... For now. It won't happen again... I'll make sure that event will never occur for as long as I live. "What was that all about?" Sunset commented in open curiosity, having halted from following beside me as we watched the bus leave. "I saw that person examining the portal before you popped up... Who was that?" I shrugged. "Someone obviously interested in large magical mirrors." "You think?" Sunset then turned back to me, blinking as if in realization. "And I certainly didn't anticipate your arrival today, Stardust." Smirking, my response was teasing, "Disappointed?" Sunset smirked. "Anything but." Jokingly before smiling brightly. "But it's great to see you again. I was just about to contact you and Twilight. Guess fate had other ideas." With a warm handshake, I replied sincerely, "Just as it's fantastic seeing you again Sunset. Is that a new outfit?" Which, by the way, was one of the major bonus points of this film - What little there were - Sunset's new attire which was a million times an improvement. Light blue shirt and jeans with the same black jacket. "I love it. Blue, good colour. Way better than your old one." A small grin, eyes glancing down to inspect her own clothing. "You think? I wanted to wear something reflecting the new me as opposed to... You know." I understand completely. One yellow finger then pointed to the ground. "Is that yours by the way?" Hm? I followed her gesture towards the... Top hat... Lying on the floor beside. A dark blue top hat... Huh. Hm. Now you complete the look of a magician, Jack. Ha! Grinning myself, I picked up the fallen hat and twirled it onto my head, smiling pleasantly at an amused Sunset. "And for my first trick, I'll make all your problems go away!" A light chuckle. "Hmhm, that'd be greatly appreciated. There are a few things I could use some help deducing." Those light blue eyes wandered off to the road again. "Still, I wonder who that was. You think it's someone who knows about the portal to Equestria." A few things, correct. But before that. "I'm sure we'll find out sooner than you think." And motioning forward, I continued with a smile. "So, tell me how you've been doing alongside your friends here. And leave nothing out." And while Sunset smiled back and obliged happily, my own eyes cast one lingering glance towards the far off city in the distance. Memories resurfaced of what happened near the end of this flick. It's not gonna happen again, memories which almost caused me to shudder. And I'll be damned if anything tries to stop me. So, as I was saying before: My Little Pony: Equestria Girls: Friendship Games is the most disappointing thing since... Well, Rainbow Rocks, in all honesty. What kind of an intro is that, you might ask? Well [BEEP], it's hard to be so invested when your expectations are so low they're right next to [BEEP]ing dinosaur bones. Although to be fair, like Rainbow Rocks, Friendship Games doesn't make me want to gorge my eyeballs out with a rusty spoon. I mean, I'd rather see Friendship Games than 'Life with the Kardashians,' but this movie's just so [BEEP]ing boring! And I mean really, really boring. Out of all the Equestria Girls, this one is probably the hardest to follow in terms of how dull the story gets and lifeless the characters really are, with a few minor exceptions such as Sunset, human Twilight, and Sentry getting brushed off by human Twilight. Twice. Hell, I'm trying not to sleep right now observing these girls talk about their stupid rival school. Crystal Prep. Tch. Think you should be paying attention to their conversation right now? To what exactly? ...Valid argument. Anyway, while they're having a conversation so dull the Garbage Pail Kids would scream in sheer agony, let's address the good things about this film. You know, get them all out of the way. What little there are... Yes, indeed. Now, ironically, some major positives about this snore fest are things that are not in the flick. One: Discord wasn't ruined. No, Cadence and Shining were ruined for being pointlessly shoehorned into this mess, the latter most particularly. But they're no Discord. It'd been easy to have a human Discord running around, looking more of an abomination than his Equestrian counterpart, making pranks and just being there for the sake of forced comedic possibilities. And befriending Fluttershy for the sake of throwing more callbacks to the superior show. Two: No King Sombra. Damn right. Of all villains that should maintain some dignity, it'd have to be even the guy who corrupted my mind and almost made me his puppet for world domination. Despite everything this [BEEP] has done, not even he should be ruined like everyone else by having a human version just standing around like a tool and contributing nothing to the overall story. I'd have prayed for self-eradication long ago had that been the case. Even those fools which created this world knew better than to wound a King's pride otherwise. If they knew better they wouldn't have made- Legends of Everfree? Beat me to it. Now back to the good points. Three: Almost no Flash Sentry. After three films Hasbro finally understood; we only see that loathsome [BEEP] for but a brief scene or so. Yet despite his role as a forced love interest for Twilight is officially over, he's still around the school doing stuff! Why isn't he working as a backstage concert janitor or something? That thing he did for Twilight happened like months ago, you'd think the novelty would've [BEEP]ing worn off by now... That's because Sentry is, in fact, the key. Pfft! Yeah, he's the key to all of this! If we can get Sentry working, because he's the most relatable character we've ever had in MLP. It's great to show contempt for your audience, Hasbro! Just ask Zack Synder. Four: Nearly no kids. The first EQG has kids in it, kids that made me want to euthanize the human race. The second one had kids in it that sung and rapped too. And I LIKE kids. Thankfully in this one they barely do anything, seen only probably once at the very start. This is a positive change. You're just going to reword Plinkett's reviews the entire time you're here, aren't you? Absolutely. Figures... Five: No stupid [BEEP] [BEEP]ded love story. Thank God there's no terrible love story in this one. No that's saved for the most dreaded one of all next time. But that's not today. No instead we're subjected to people acting like idiots with no regard for logic and common sense. Essentially, ALL the flicks thus far. And finally, the only good things about that film, that are IN the film. Six: Twilight and Sunset. While their characters were essentially ruined by being in such horrible schlock, and doing some pretty dumb things themselves, those two are just so wonderful anyway that it doesn't. A breath of fresh air from the [BEEP] stench that was Friendship Games. Those two are the only identifiable and relatable characters because they have human personalities, goals and motivations that are realistic and easy to empathize with. And even though Legends of Everfree desecrates their characters so much they become unrecognizable, right now you can't hate them. They have passions and goals which drives them. Hence why I'm opting to assist both in any way I can. But mostly, at this moment, Twilight, whom I refuse to call 'Sci Twi.' Right then, shall we address the nonsensical story and every stupid thing that comes along the ride? Also not negating the fact that the two rival schools contradict everything against a competition's name because one Principal's a detestable [BEEP] who should've been sacked and arrested at the very end? "Stardust?" Huh? Oh, right. The girls regarded me patiently, Rainbow inquiring smugly, "We're heading to school hall. You coming?" Seems your bottomless pit of complaints must go on hold. It's time for the self-proclaimed story to proceed, in all its cliche tedious ventures. "Hold that thought a second Rainbow. Stardust, are you feeling alright?" Sunset chose to ask, frowning in concern. "You look a little tense. Is something the matter?" "Not to mention deep in thought." Applejack commented. "Somethin' you wanna share with us?" ...[BEEP] it. Shrugging, I answered quite tiredly. "Just... Recovering from a recent adventure in Equestria." Among three previous universes and a battle against a force unlike anything we've ever seen. "As Sunset here would've deduced by now, I'm not really here as a social call." "You're here then to cheer us on for the Friendship Games?" "I don't think that's quite the case Rainbow." Rarity said humouredly, the girls regarding me expectantly. "Is there trouble arising once more and you've come to assist, darling?" "Ya hit the nail on the head, Rarity." Nodding, I pushed myself off the wall of books, sighing. "But this time, it's something I'll be dealing with, alone. You girls focus on your competition, I have... Other matters attending to." "Something to do with the girl we encountered by the portal." I smirked. "Very astute." Sunset smiled at the praise. "But yes, another potential threat that I'll do my best to prevent. I just ask you girls not to get in my way." Applejack smiled lightly. "We'll probably be preoccupied with the Friendship Games regardless, Star. But if ya do require our help, we'll be there in a jiffy." "It's what friends are for!" "Too right Pinkie." Alright, that's one potential obstacle cast aside. Save for Sunset, who looked slightly reluctant to agree with our friends about this. I'll deal with that later. "As I am sure you all know, tomorrow Canterlot High School will be hosting our fellow students at Crystal Prep Academy. As we join together in the spirit of excellence, sportsmanship and-" Blah blah blah blah blah. School spirit blah. Yap yap, blah blah, dribble dribble dribble. Hey, gotta find some means of entertaining myself if the movie won't. "Since the games only ever happen every four years." Which is dumb, but continue. "I'm sure you're all curious what goes on." "You mean other than us losing?!" "Shut up Sentry!" Sorry, force of habit. I paid no attention to the flat looks sent my way from the girls beside me. And Celestia proceeded as though I didn't just own some scrub. "And that, is exactly why I've asked Rainbow Dash to come up here and give you all a little, erm, context." Hah. Big mistake. The blue teen proceeded to snatch the mic and kick this dull scene into... Something akin to mediocrity. "Thank you Principal Celestia!" She coughed like a Kangaroo with lung cancer. "I know a lot of you think there's no way we can beat a fancy school like Crystal Prep at anything!" ...Can I just return to monologing an internal review at everything that's wrong with this Godforsaken universe? Why bother? The reasons as to why are being revealed before our very, dissatisfied field of vision. "Unless it's a 'Losing to Crystal Prep Competition;' cause we're really good at that!" "Shut up Sentry!" "I'm not Flash, silly, I'm Pinkie Pie." "Oh... Worth it." Rainbow looked annoyed on the stage, but continued with enthusiasm anyway, while that tedious music blared from behind the red curtains. "And I know that CHS has never won the Friendship Games. Even once!" Because the plot demanded as such. "Crystal Prep students are super athletic, super smart and super motivated! But there's one thing they aren't! They aren't, Wondercolts!" Oh that's a real good reason as to why we shouldn't cheer for the opposing school. I'm sorry, but is Rainbow just giving us more reason as to show support for Crystal Prep instead than this place? [BEEP]-talk the students there and their villainous Principal all we like, we can't deny how orderly and prepared they are by comparison. The opposing school looks way more organized and professional than CHS; I have no reason to support an otherwise incompetent school whose only advantages are seven teenage girls with bull[BEEP] magic powers! And for that matter, why are they letting those exact seven represent the school for the Games? [BEEP]ing Phil from Hercules wouldn't permit that [BEEP]. If at the moment they're not controlling their powers well and they don't want to be viewed as cheating by the opposite team, then WHY HAVE THEM ON THE TEAM?! Is EVERYONE ELSE at this school SO useless it falls to those girls to fix everything?! Short answer, clearly, yes. And for that matter, the fact the human variant of Princess Luna concerned about being called out as 'cheaters' should be the least of their worries, if anyone outside this nauseating high school learns about the seven anomalies which plagues this building- Oh Taturus, she's singing. I made a hasty retreat the moment the school band revealed themselves. Cafeteria should be deserted by now, maybe I could get a quick bite. I'm pretty [BEEP]ing hungry. Last I checked it was... This way. During this search for satisfying your stomach, perhaps next we ouaghta discuss the absurdity over the teenagers... How do they put it... 'Pony up.' Christ, don't remind me of that. The term alone gives me a brain aneurysm. Nah, I got a better idea. Instead, let's lay out the plan for preventing Midnight Sparkle from ever happening, and arresting Principal Cinch, or Principal [BEEP] which rhymes and is far more accurate, for illegally blackmailing and emotionally abusing a vulnerable young student. A: Win Twilight's trust. B: Get her help in exposing Cinch. C: Help her befriend the girls. D: Go home, and get a nice relaxing rest on my long-awaited bed. And yet, all of which excluding the final step, will be more difficult in practice. Sadly. I imagine winning the human Twilight over will be much harder than pony Twilight. The two was similar, but very different on experiences and social interaction alone. We're dealing with a Twilight far more vulnerable and hesitant than the other. It won't work right away, but patience has always been my best friend. I just hope it'll last enough to prevent... That... Why are you so fixated on that, in any case? Sombra finally inquired skeptically. That awkward teenager is not the Twilight Sparkle you're well acquainted with. She's merely a replica, but far weaker and open to exploitation. Is the idea of her becoming that miserable creature really so distraught to you? Amongst other things... And, as I imagined Sombra to inquire further, someone else spoke up, "There you are." Ah. I halted, to look behind, Sunset catching up in bemusement. "I was wondering where you wandered off to." "Here and there." And followed by, hilariously enough, a stomach growling. Wonderful. Sunset looked down at my clothed belly in surprise, and smirked in good nature. "Hungry huh? Come on, we can catch up some more at the cafeteria." Alrighty then. Sunset added as we walked side-by-side down the hallway. "And maybe later, you could help me figure out the recent development over our friend's magic." ...Eh. Why not? I've got some time to kill to form a thorough plan anyway. And it already helps when you know the answer to this dilemma of Sunset's beforehand... Cafeteria food has never tasted so good. Careful, Jack, you're scaring your host. To the contrary, Sunset looked more bemused than unnerved. "That must've been one adventure you went through before getting here." No kidding. Uncaring about lack of manners towards a lady at this point, my own hunger took over for me to consume the tray of food like a rabid animal. After today, things were hectic enough. You're gonna choke yourself to death before even gaining the chance to save this world's Twilight should you continue. Leaning forward, interlocking her fingers with elbows plopped on the table, Sunset leaned forward. "So, you mentioned earlier about another threat was coming to CHS." Taking a moment to chew and swallow, I nodded. "Another potential threat, my dear." How would the Princess feel, I wonder, over your persistence to address other females with those irritable words? [BEEP] you. The former student of Celestia frowned. "Obviously related to that person from before who was inspecting the portal." Bingo. "It's a safe bet to assume she's going to play a major role involving this danger?" Sadly... My expression was the answer Sunset needed, nodding. "And you're sure you don't want us to help out?" "Positive." My firm response in a heartbeat. "You girls should concentrate on your games. This is a situation I have to handle." "But we can help!" "I'm not Twilight, Sunset." I smirked faintly against Sunset's incredulous objections. "I don't rely on my friends twenty-four/seven to solve a conundrum. The best you can do is respect my wishes and focus beating this rival school." Sunset looked just about ready to argue, but eventually slouched back on her seat. "Are you absolutely sure...?" At that, my own reply was a gentle smile. "I appreciate your willingness to help. I'm glad, and proud, to call you my friend, Sunset. But believe me, this is a matter that shouldn't, and will not, be solved through the magic of friendship, but words alone." Along with infiltration, gathering evidence, and arresting a snotty [BEEP] with an accent so ridiculous it's an insult to posh people everywhere. David Mitchell, you have my sympathies. Sunset finally sighed, leaning forward again with a downcast expression. "I'm sorry, I just... Wanna be useful to my friends. It was thanks to you I gathered up the courage to lead the band against the Dazzlings. Maybe... I want to be helpful without depending on others for a change." "Sunset-" "Not that you or Twilight aren't appreciated for helping me out time to time!" The smile on my face only rose higher from the flustered look on the teen's yellow face. "But, let's be honest, I'm not exactly doing any favours to my friends by always relying on them. Heck, I had to count on Snips and Snails a lot back when I was... You know, a huge bully..." "Sunset-" "Now we have this dilemma about the girls ponying up just out of nowhere-" "Please! Never say those words again." Sunset blinked at my annoyed interruption, my own face expressing disgust. "Just not in front of me." Utterly confused, the high schooler folded her arms and stared down at the table, sighing again. "And I want to help figure out this situation with my friends. And now with you being here saying there's a threat, it just gives me more to worry about, you know? I mean, what would Twilight do in this scenario?" Then, those cerulean eyes gazed up at me imploringly, looking lost and seeking for answers. "What would you do?" With a soft smile, my own yellow hand reached out and gently grasped her arm, inciting her full attention. Once again, I see a part of myself in this girl. It's funny, you'd think, had I not had strong feelings for Twilight first, there could've been... Well. Really? You and Sunset Shimmer? I mean... It's a passing thought of a scenario. I'm already the happiest man alive being with Twilight. But imagining the many possibilities of, say, having arrived in this world first as opposed to Equestria - Which would've had me jump off the school roof first thing, mind you - different events lead to different effects. Let's just not get ahead of ourselves. You're lucky enough already winning the heart of a naive Princess. And I wouldn't trade Twilight for the multiverse. Anyway, onto helping this distraught teen out. "Typically, a mentor tells his student that they must find the answer him or herself, leaving behind only cryptic warnings or clues." Smirking, I continued casually, "Thankfully, I'm not like Celestia. The answer to this dilemma is very obvious." So obvious, in fact, a three-year-old could deduce this glaring plot device behind 'ponying up.' "Tell me, Sunset, have you noticed a pattern behind the girls when they... Grow wings and tails?" Frowning, Sunset gazed towards the ceiling contemplatively. "Hmm... Well obviously when the world was in danger by the sirens that one time. Now it just seems so... Random." "Ah, but are they really so random? What exactly are they doing when those wings and tails popped up?" Tapping her chin, Sunset commented out-loud, "Well, Rainbow was playing music earlier just now. And this transformations after the Battle of the Bands started happening when Fluttershy was tending to her animals, Rarity expressing sheer joy about these clothes she helped me pick out... Pinkie at a celebration party when everyone was laughing..." The cogs were starting to turn. I could see it in those clear sea eyes. The expression was widening in revelation. "These events are related to things they enjoy...!" "And now just that," I started encouraging, grinning widely as Sunset was connecting the dots earlier than usual, "What do all these habits have in common...?" "...They're used as an expression for friendship!" Sunset gasped lowly, shock turning to surprised enthusiasm. "Those habits represent the truest parts of who they are, that's what causes the transformations! Of course; as the bonds of our friendship strengthen over time, so does the magic!" "Thirty points to Ravenclaw!" "Huh?" More Slytherin, I'd think. Or maybe Gryffindor. Or perhaps Hufflepuff. Really? Also, welcome back Starswirl, glad to have you join us. "Well done Sunset!" The girl smiled bashfully. "No need to praise me for it. Once more I couldn't have deduced it without your help." Well, actually, you could've. Anyone could've. "It's fine that you want to figure things out for yourself at times. But you should never be afraid to consult your friends if it becomes too seemingly difficult." Hm. You should follow your own advice sometime soon. Sunset nodded. "I'll keep that in mind." "Please to hear it, my young student." At that, the teenager chuckled humouredly. "So you're my teacher now?" "Why not?" I smirked, gesturing with wide arms. "With Twilight training her own student, why should you be left out?" The reaction was surprise, Sunset blinking curiously. "Twilight has her own student?!" "Yeah. Just recently, right before I arrived here. Her name is Starlight Glimmer. You'd love her, Sunset, she's a former villain as well." It took a few seconds for that to process, amusedly so. With a small smile, she replied sincerely, "I'm happy for them both then. This new student of her's in good hands." Then, leaning forward on the table once more, Sunset asked with open eagerness, "Would you mind telling me more about this Starlight?" Funny thing, I wasn't expecting to smile and laugh like a silly idiot for the majority of my visit in this world. But, like I said before, Sunset being one of the few major positives about this film, it was hard not to grow annoyed at someone who was essentially like Twilight in many aspects, but unique in her own right. And Sunset deserves to know that. It's all my fault, isn't it...? Hm? You know what... What happened before we got here. Jack. I just can't help it, you know. Last night, sleeping on that couch, and now watching these girls enjoy themselves, everything that happened yesterday involving the imbalances and the source has just... Caught up to me. I've potentially unleashed an unspeakable disaster upon everyone I love. And this time, there's no sugarcoating who was to blame for this one. Not Starlight. Not Sombra. Not Celestia... It was all. On. Me... You can't hold yourself solely accountable for this, my young student... Can't he? Sombra scoffed scornfully. Last I recall, old one, it was this boy who deliberately decided to intervene and [BEEP] with the canoncity of the world, thereby releasing this evil and giving it sentient form. All of his progress, his entire journey, had led up to this monstrosity which threatens to tear all worlds asunder. Which is all my doing to begin with. The ancient unicorn responded remorsefully. And this was the first time I heard Starswirl so... Sad. It was literally affecting my own emotions. It was I who brought Jack here from the very beginning. Had I know the consequences would've become this immensely severe... I'm afraid we must endure through this new hardships I had unwittingly bestowed. How? How can we stop something that was never meant to exist in the MLP universe to start with...? Isn't it evident? Indeed... Balance, as always, holds the key to the safety of us all. This is no longer clearing up the repercussions, we're now facing the destiny for all life, among this world and Equestria. And, in essence, every world before it. The best we can achieve for now, is to watch, and wait. And then commence battle? Precisely. Wonderful... So we must play patient for this 'Zagreus' to turn up again. And deal with it once this monster chooses to reveal itself. My eyes never strayed from the girls comforting Sunset to Rarity showing off all the outfits designed for the Games. Heh... Zagreus... Who'd have thought... Zagreus is my secret name... Zagreus is the one to blame... Zagreus is the pony's shame... The beast that I've been keeping... Hm... Wait...! As it followed in the flick, Rarity's own magic began revealing itself in all its laughable absurdity. Unfortunately I was in no mood to laugh. Fortunately I was determined enough to rise up from my seat and shut the doors into the room before that little device of human Twilight's got near enough to absorb Rarity's magic completely- Which, sadly, I must request you refrain from doing. ...What now? Starswirl sighed. This kind of interference is what I am afraid of allowing at the present time. Zagreus grows in power the more changes we bring to all around us. This is a significant impact to the events which are to come. But... I can't just-! Can't you? N-No! Whether I despise this world or not, Rarity remains my friend! I can't let this happen to her or the others, just as I can't bring myself to idly sit by for human Twilight to fall into Midnight! You're asking too much of me here Starswirl! Jack, please, consider what this means. The voice was more gentle than imploring. I too do not wish for any of the girls to suffer, but we must wait until we can know what changes can be made. We must wait for Zagreus to show signs of his return first before proceeding with anything rash. ...But... I know that image of any version of Miss Sparkle suffering such a fate unnerves you. Understatement of the damn century! But if you choose to interfere, now that we know what is causing this imbalance to the worlds and why, we must be more cautious than ever before. What's the plan then, Zordon? We just sit by and wait?! Yes. ...But-! Please, Jack. I am asking you as a teacher... And a friend. Too later regardless for him to do anything. The draining is complete. True to Sombra's statement, a hovering Rarity slowly descended on the floor with an exhausted posture, looking heavily worn out. God... Dammit-! Ow... What was that slight twinge in my chest just then...? "Twilight?!" "Uh... Yes...?" Couldn't even bring myself to stop the following awkwardness, slumping back onto my seat in defeat. Alright, Starswirl, I'll restrain myself from preventing the girls losing their magic by that device... But don't think I'm gonna allow Midnight Sparkle to happen no matter the cost. We will see, but thank you for obliging to my wishes. Tch. Figured you'd sacrifice the fate of all lives for one individual, who isn't even your Twilight. What can I say? I'm not someone to look up to. I watched the girls interact with a befuddled human Twilight at the doorway from a distance, too focused on their conversation to spot my saddened expression. For a brief second, those purple eyes glanced towards my cyan orbs and widened slightly in recognition, before conversing back with the excited girls surrounding her. "Spike!" "Huh! You know my dog's name too?" Not even a villain of my own making will stop me from protecting any version of Twilight Sparkle... "But doesn't that bother you?" "Does what bother me?" "Another Twilight competing against us? An alternate version of your girlfriend!" A short huff. "I have a million other things to worry about than that, Rainbow." Like, for example, another of my friends losing their magic along with the portal being closed because of it. But no, Rainbow here thought it was far more important to address the fact over another version of Twilight was participating in the Games. Not that she had much of a choice... "Speakin' of, what in tarnation is she up to?" Applejack pointed out towards the other side of the hall. Human Twilight currently oblivious to her surroundings whilst checking the readings on the small device around her neck. Oh did I neglect to mention about that? I probably left out a lot more things about what's going on in this flick. But believe me, none of them are fascinating enough to talk about. Really, I'm more interested in that Crystal Prep, when I watched this back on my Earth, had its front gates closed in the middle of a school day. My school never did that. "Leave this to me." Uh-huh. Sure thing Sunset, you go act all confrontational to a hapless Twilight. I'm too tired to care at this point to prevent that disaster waiting to happen. Instead, I went the opposite direction of them towards the food stand. Free food is free food. Glaring off a CP student who foolishly attempted to appear menacing my way, I happily consumed the treats while glancing in the girls' direction. Ah yes, while Pinkie is making chums with human Twilight, the others are confronting their respective anti-Mane Six of Crystal Prep... Who have no other reason to exist than the simple fact they're the opposing team of six girls with attitudes. Because [BEEP] it, why not? No fresh unique ideas here; we have to perform every high school cliche by the book! And how gratified we as an audience to have such memorable new characters who stand out as the opposites of the main characters. Such as Sugar Coat - Get it? Because she's a blunt tactless [BEEP] - and Lemon Zest. And... Uh... Uhh... Sour Sweet. Yeah, her! Also there's... The one with goggles... And... [BEEP] it. They're not even worth trying to remember about, even when they're standing right over there! And when Celestia finished another small speech, the parties cannon went boom. Disco ball's in the air, Vinyl's rocking the stereo, and everyone's having fun. Well, almost everyone. I'm just over here tapping my foot and eating cupcakes. Ugh... Strawberry- Agh! There it goes again... Another magical essence drained away thanks to Twilight's little device. And as that kept happening, the stronger these disturbances to magic were beginning to affect me. One hand clutched my temple to rub the pain which suddenly burst from there. With Rarity, it was a faint buzzing. With Sunset, a sudden stabbing sensation that had the girls immediately come to my aid when I almost collapsed earlier. This time I was prepared, however, and gripped both my head and the edge of the table. It's getting worse... Starswirl, you have to let me- Give it some more time, Jack. More time?! That's half the girls now with their magic taken away! And nothing of any value was truly lost. Speaking of no value, a certain [BEEP] destroyed the party mood by tapping the microphone, lights came back on and everyone resumed acting like hostile [BEEP]holes against the other school for no real reason. Again, WHO named it the 'Friendship Games...?' "I'd like to thank Principal Celestia for her unconventional welcome. It's been four years since the last Friendship Games, but it feels as though nothing has changed. Canterlot High continues to pick its competitors through a popularity contest, and Crystal Prep continues to field its top twelve students." ...That's not entirely inaccurate. Sadly. Why the [BEEP] are Sentry and Derpy on the team? No offense to the latter... "It is a comfort to know that even after so many years of losses, your school remains committed to its ideals, however misguided they may be. I wish you all the best of luck... Because of the inevitable outcome." Shout out to the constant organ background music that plays every time she's taking the spotlight. Also, who even is this woman? Who was she in Equestria? Why wasn't Cadence the Principal of Crystal Prep, which would've made a trillion times more sense? I never even heard of a 'Cinch' back in the pony world. Was she a figure of high authority there? A Princess in another kingdom? A noble? A judge? She strikes me as a judge at first glance. From appearance, or how she seems to judge every living thing around her? Pick one. Also, you two would get along just fine. Hm. And, finally, the Friendship Games commence! ...And I'm doing my absolute best not to fall asleep the whole way through. Should've brought my 3DS with me... Dammit. First off: Science! Exciting! Celestia and Luna allowed me to observe from the corner of the room, despite Cadence's curiosity to the student with a beard watching the competition with tired indifference. And while generic song seven-six-eight-four plays in the background to montage the first round of the games, I'm too busy thinking about other things. Like, what is Spike making for dinner back home...? Speaking of food: Cooking! Oh how wonderful! Just makes me even more hungry. You know, while we're busy watching these tedious, boring, inconsequential games, how about we nitpick some more about the stupidity of this flick... By addressing the total idiocy of everyone in this film! Well... Better than anything going on right now, I suppose. Almost every character here is dumb, but who is the dumbest? Let's find out. Just how stupid is Celestia? So Celestia might be the Principal of an established high school, but wise she is not. Despite carrying a look of utter confusion over everything, Celestia couldn't even piece together about Crystal Prep's Twilight being from this world. In Rainbow Rocks she dismissed claims over dark magic being used in the school in spite of being witness to such in the first film. And here, in Friendship Games, she outright challenged Cinch over the school board believing about magic going-ons, when there's video footage and eyes witnesses to be found during these events. So how stupid is Celestia?! She makes her Equestrian self look self-respecting by comparison. Even now she looks like she's having a brain fart upon Pinkie demonstrating her impossibly Mona Lisa cake. Next is woodwork, but who cares? Next on the stupidity list, if you please. The entire student body is filled with stupid idiots. A brief conjured image of my old school. Oh, yes, fair enough, that's true, but we're referring now to this student body. Okay so, where to begin? How about how completely accepting they are that magic's a thing, or how easily misled they are by everyone and everything around them. The Fall Formal contest, the Battle of the Bands, the Friendship Games and... What comes later. Not a single one of them outside the Human Six started asking questions about the strange magic, where it comes from, who exactly Sunset and Twilight were and about their magical world. They just take it at face value, no questions asked, thus demonstrating the simple-minded life of a student who can't comprehend a much larger world that just became a groundbreaking discovery to anyone with the most basics of common sense. And why didn't any of them object to the girls joining in the competition if they know what they're capable of? Do they want to succeed so bad that they're willing to cheat their way to victory? Wouldn't shock me. Dean Cadence is a stupid, dumb, [BEEP]ded idiot head. How after the proceedings events and conclusion to the games, Cadence knows everything now. The truth as to why Twilight participated after all, and became another generic demon monster because of Cinch's manipulations. But instead of gathering evidence and eye witnesses, calling the police and reporting to the school board over Cinch's actions, Cadence just stands there and continues to serve the undeserving Principal until the end of days. You'd think she of all people wouldn't take too kindly to Twilight being emotionally manipulated and blackmailed like that. More work for me, I guess. Next up, a spelling bee contest. Yay, but onwards Sombra! Principal [BEEP] is a stupid [BEEP]hole. Principal Cinch is a dumb bimbo as well. It was bad enough risking your job and credibility through illegally blackmailing an underage student to doing as you wished, but then she doesn't bother reporting to the school board with exactly what she threatened to do regarding the activities of Celestia's own students. Nothing was stopping her from gathering evidence herself to display for the board, and Celestia would have an obligation to confirm all those accusations if she didn't want to risk anything. But then again, it is Celestia... The Human Six are all reckless fools with no idea what they're doing. Well... Yeah. To be frank, those girls lacked the experience and wisdom their pony counterparts obtained over time. They acted less like responsible young adults with their gifts and more of children toying around and showing off their powers without any hint of modesty and self-control, save for Sunset, who's doing her best to keep these powers under care. I legit prayed for the safety of this world after LoE. Alright, final bit of the first round with Twilight and Sunset. This painful montage is almost over with. Vice Principal Luna's the dumbest person ever. This [BEEP]ing idiot's been around for three films, and is the dumbest person in the universe! In the first Equestria Girls she was tricked by a notorious untrustworthy student alongside her cronies into punishing a teenager whom had no student records to begin with. In the second and third film she's absolutely fine with the Human Six entering various competitions despite their reputation for being... Well, childish for their age. She, like Celestia, is completely incompetent at her own job and yet acts all smug alongside her older sister even when threatened by Cinch. Jack Wright is even more pathetic than Luna. So the dumbest prize award goes to none other than- Hey! "That means the winner of the first event goes to... Twilight Sparkle and Crystal Prep!" Wait, what? It's already over? Oh thank God, I almost dozed off for a moment there! Oh, wait, the students of Twilight's own school were groaning for no reason. Let me fix that. "GO TWILIGHT!" [BEEP] you teenagers! Many look startled and jumped as I sprung from my seat and applauded loudly for the lonesome girl. Twilight looked positively surprised by the single praise, as did the girls cheering up Sunset, and only blushed in embarrassment whilst waving sheepishly. "Hey! Why are you applauding her?!" "I regret [BEEP]ing nothing Rainbow!" Inciting shocked gasps from teachers and students alike to a word which was bleeped to my ears, but clear to everyone else. "Are you sure you're feeling alright...?" "Sunset, let it go..." "Well, you can hardly blame her for inquiring." Rarity responded for her friend, frowning sternly. "You've been looking positively dreadful ever since the other Twilight arrived. Is it something to do with her?" "Does seein' her make yer miss the Princess?" "Is it because the portal's gone? No sweat, we'll get it back up and running in no time." "You know what always cheers me up on a day like this? Pizza!" Whereas Sunset looked fondly over her friend's antics, but gazed back at me in clear concern. "You've been on edge ever since the Crystal Prep students arrived, moreso than I have! Is it something related to that threat you mentioned before?" I barely answered, keeping my own gaze elsewhere, bracing for the inevitable backlash that's to come. I'm not sure I can keep up with allowing my friends to lose their magic any further, Starswirl. It's no better than what Tirek did... "And you keep glancing over where we split up from Fluttershy." Damn. Nothing gets past her... A tender dark yellow hand clasped my shoulder, prompting me to stare back at worried cerulean eyes. "Stardust, whatever it is that's bothering you, you shouldn't hide it from your friends. Whatever's happening, we're here to help. You know that, don't you?" The others nodded, encouraging expressions present. "...I know Sunset." I sighed, gently removing her hand off me. "I'm sorry, I just... I'm a little stressed, that's all-" And something just popped up then to warrant even more stress. "Hey there!" My reply was to flinch, sending an unpleasant welcoming look towards the teenager suddenly joining us without good cause. "Nice work on the first round. We wouldn't have gotten closer to winning without you guys." Sunset smiled. "Thanks Flash. You weren't doing bad yourself back there." In only one's opinion... And just then, the cardboard had the [BEEP]s to suddenly grip my shoulder and say casually, "Mind if I borrow Stardust here for just a moment?" Without even awaiting a response, Sentry steers me a few feet away from the curious girls to a spot still outside the front of the school. In assumed safe distance, the boy turned to face me and began rather nervously, "So... That's this world's Twilight, huh?" Oh, this should be interesting. Starswirl, just so we're clear, I'm not able to use my powers in this human form, correct? Especially with the connection between the two worlds temporarily cut off, the magical source from Equestria lessens the ties. Those three other dimensions you had visited were unique of operating their own magic. Suffice to say, this world is powerless without the, shall we say, battery of Equestrian magic. Got it, so I can't punch this [BEEP]wad in the [BEEP]s with superhuman strength and make it super hurt. Thanks. With a glance over to the other side of the courtyard, I answered Sentry's waiting look with a swift, "What of it?" "Just wanted to be sure." Uh-huh. "She's really nothing like our Twilight, then." Our Twilight? "This one looks kinda... Lonely, without friends. I feel bad for her. So that's why I need your advice; you know Twilight probably more than anyone, since they're somewhat the same person, right?" Cyan eyes narrowed. I did not like the sound of whatever this stereotype was implying. "Where is this going, Sentry...?" The teenager sighed. "You don't have to call me that, you know. Flash is just fine. Anyway, I was hoping you'd give me some pointers to impressing someone like Twilight." ...What? "You think I got a shot with her? This Twilight from Crystal Prep?" ... Hahahahahahaha! You'd have to credit that tenacity. I certainly would! "Excuse you? [BEEP] OFF YOU USELESS CASHGRAB HEARTTHROB!" Sentry was already backing up, and rightfully so. Students turned their heads in surprise at the vocal rage. "You have no right! Get out of my sight before I rip off your [BEEP]s and feed them to a dragon friend of mine!" The boy at least heeded my advice, making a swift departure back towards the building, cyan eyes glaring at his fleeing back. The [BEEP]ing nerve... Jack, I advise you calm yourself. The stress of recent events affects your better judgement, added with the side-effects you are experiencing from the imbalances of magic being drained repeatedly. Really, what other answer was he anticipating? It should be common knowledge over your unhidden disdain for that clown. No empathy is to be held for the fool believing he could gain any knowledge from you. "What was all that about?" A feminine voice asked confusedly from behind. "[BEEP]ing self-conceited cardboard cutout..." I growled balefully, turning back to the concerned girls who evidently heard all that. Heck, you;d have to be deaf not to hear that loud angered tone- Agh! "Stardust?!" Happening... Again...! Applejack and Rainbow were quick to prevent me from keeling over, grabbing my arms and shoulders to steady my posture. Internally, Balance was screaming in my ears, feeling my blood pound. The chest felt as though it was constricting, the sudden imbalance against magic stronger than the last one... Something is wrong... No [BEEP] Commodes- Ag...! "What is it? Stardust's what's happening?!" Sunset reached out with both hands on me. The imbalance is empowering more than it should. These events of the Friendship Games are always suppose to happen, but close proximity to this natural attack against Balance itself is affecting your own connection to the magic. Rarity looked slightly aghast. "What's the matter darling? Is something causing you grief...?" From the corner of my pained eye, as the mental assault was, thankfully, subsiding somewhat, I spotted a fleeing Twilight with a talkative Spike pursuing her into the school. With that, I made my decision. "Go tend to Fluttershy!" They blinked at my command, but I ignored any and inquiries, shrugging the girls off me and proceeding to follow after the frightened Crystal Prep student. This has to end, here and now. Jack- No Starswirl! This has gone on long enough! You said so yourself, this was imbalance at work! And natural of not, we could be empowering the threat that is Zagreus by just standing by and twiddling our thumbs! I'm not gonna let this keep going any longer! Then you better prepare for the repercussions. Oh I am... I definitely am... Wasn't hard to lose them, Spike's voice was always loud in comparison to the others. One hallway down was where I needed to be. Jack- Don't try to stop me, Starswirl. You for a fact I will never allow any of my friends in danger, especially Twilight. Except for, as I keep repeating, this being not your Twilight. Irrelevant to the contrary! All I am asking is for you to be careful. The voice gently responded instead. If Zagreus is involved somehow, our choices may not reveal a more positive outcome this time around. The magic of friendship alone will have difficulty aiding us in this battle. I know what I'm doing, don't worry. And that's exactly what concerns me. Ah... Seems another fool has beaten us to her first. "Who are you talking to?" "Erm... Myself. It's a nervous habit... Were you looking for me?" God dammit. I immediately opted to hide behind the corner of the hallway, wanting to say nothing to Principal [BEEP] over there. Just wait for her to leave, and get on with the plan. "Indeed I was. Quite a coincidence that the CHS students moving onto the next event are the same, nice girls who were so interested in you, don't you think?" God, it was like a hawk observing her next meal. A very posh, unlikable hawk. "I'm not sure..." It startled me, despite knowing it beforehand, exactly how meek and... Vulnerable this Twilight was by comparison to the other. A part of me wanted to just storm over there, give Cinch a piece of my mind and hold this Twilight in my arms, reassuring her and promising nothing will go wrong, ever again... "Perhaps you should get to know them after all." "But I... Thought you didn't want me to?" "Let's just say I'm covering my bases." I bet you are, [BEEP]. "Who knows? Perhaps they'll reveal to you the secret to Canterlot's High newfound success." Get your filthy hands off her you stuck-up, villainous- "I don't know; spying feels kind of... Wrong!" Thankfully, even this Twilight held some semblance of morality. Cinch, however, wasn't too pleased by the hesitant yet good-intended answer, leaning back and fixing her dumb glasses. "Well, it's your decision Twilight. It's not as if your application hangs in the balance..." A brief pause from leaving. "On second thought... Yes it does." ...Sombra, hold me back. Even if I unlikely would, I have no physical body to oblige that task. Starswirl, say something to calm me down. Right now. The Princess wouldn't be too pleased if any verbal or physical assault against a woman, regardless how unpleasant she may seem. We can deal with her comeuppance later. As Cinch was passing around the corner, time slowed for a brief moment. Pink and cyan eyes clashed from the corner of eyes before she continued on her way by me, unfazed by the death glare boring in her retreating backside. ...That 'later' may come sooner than you think, my good ol' mentor... "Man... She's awful." Amen Spike. "What are you gonna do?" Walking around to see them properly, Twilight sighed sadly. "I don't know Spike." Thus resorting to sink back against a locker with arms crossed against her knees. "I don't know..." "I'll tell you what she can do." Seeing any version of Twilight so depressed and helpless mentally wounded me. Both human and dog glanced up at the direction of the stern voice in surprise, not expecting more company. Purple eyes sparkled in recognition, but nothing more, and it almost made me wince compared to the fondness, humour and pure joy I typically see in my Twilight's eyes whenever she looked at me. Inhaling deeply, I continued and knelt carefully beside the stunned teen. "You can stand up for yourself and fight back against this injustice Cinch is using against you." "It's you..." Twilight gasped, eyes widened in wonder. "The boy who bumped into me from that mirror, and... You were there with those girls, and cheered for me just before." I smirked, glancing over to the curious canine. "Your owner is very perceptive." Spike nodded, wagging his tail proudly. "The smartest person I know." "I don't doubt it." This Spike, unlike the one I called a brother, wasn't too reluctant to a head rub, happily accepting the strokes with a slobbering tongue as expression of content. Meanwhile, Twilight looked between him and I in open confusion, prompting me to address the matter at hand once again. "Sorry, force of habit. Anyway, it's high time we take justice against what that woman is doing to you, Twilight... Sorry, I can call you Twilight, right?" "...I guess?" Haha, that clear bafflement was adorable to look at. At my expressed amusement, the purple teen rubbed her forehead tiredly. "Sorry, I just... It's been a long day, putting it mildly. You're saying you can... Help us?" Where you have all the cards in your hands, Hell yes. With a patient smile, I proceeded to clarify, "You don't have to obey Cinch's wishes, you know. You do have a choice over your own destiny." Twilight sighed, hesitant to agree. "Not this time... Not with what Cinch is using against me." "The application to an independent study program." "Yeah, and I can't just... Wait." Purple eyes snapped at me in shock. "How did you...?!" With a smirk, I tapped my temple. "I'm psychic." Twilight frowned uncertainly, prompting my light chuckle. "Just kidding love, I just know stuff, let's put it like that." The young purple dog tugged at her skirt. "Twilight... I think he can help us out here!" The young girl hesitated once again. "I don't know Spike... I'm not sure what can be done, or how this man could help us in this situation." "Don't knock it till you've tried it, my dear." Opting to stand, I lowered one hand invitingly, an exact repeat of our first meeting yesterday. "You can live in fear, or take a stand. And I can't stand seeing young women being manipulated this way. Help me help you, Twilight Sparkle. I promise I will do everything in my power." And once more, the moment of truth. But even if Twilight doesn't accept my offer, I'll still do things myself anyway. Cinch needed to be stopped, as did this imbalance. Now was time to put the plan of stopping both into works. But I didn't have to worry for too long, once a small, gentle purple hand reached upwards and brushed against my own, prompting me to carefully help the helpless teen to stand, smiling proudly. "There we go. Perhaps now we should finally get better acquainted. My name is Stardust Balance. It's an honour to meet you, Twilight." With a playful bow and my new top hat placed against my chest. God, this almost feels too weird, introducing myself this way to someone who's very, very close to you in another universe... It took a few seconds for Twilight to grin, nervously so. "It's nice to make your acquaintance, Stardust-" Beeping sounds cut her off, prompting us to glance at the device hung around her neck. Odd, I don't remember it activating during this scene of the film. Even more curious, the small light is pointing in my direction. ...Oh. Oh [BEEP]! "Quick, turn that off-!" My warning came too late, as a bizarre sensation came over me, something I haven't felt since Tirek... You know. Welp. We're completely [BEEP]ed. I was worried this would happen... Twilight stared in pure shock at the different human looking back before her once the magic was consumed... And I mirrored that expression beautifully. Before falling to the ground as all air was cut off.