//------------------------------//
// Chapter 9 - "Say What Now?" 
// Story: Woebegone 
// by Lost_Marbles 
//------------------------------//

Everypony jumped back with fear at the creature cackling in the middle of the town hall. It towered over everypony in the room like a vile totem pole. It hurt Applejack’s neck to look up high enough to see its face. Long red hair draped down and stuck to her like cobwebs, and from underneath the orange veil, two large yellow eyes glowed from underneath, right above hungry mouth filled with spider fangs. It held out a spindly arm and pointed a cragged finger in Woebegone’s direction. Her skin was bumpy and various shades of sickly green, but everything else was covered in night-blue rags. She cackled and called out in a voice that sounded like harsh desert winds, “I have come for you, Woebegone!”
The mob of ponies all devolved into a hysterical screaming mess and rushed to the front exit while the guards leapt from their posts and surrounded the creature and Applejack. Twilight jumped up on top of the fold-out table that was her podium and aimed her horn at the intruder. “Who are you? What do you want?”
The creature turned to meet Twilight and took a step forward. Panicked, Applejack rushed forward and tackled the creature in the back of her legs. She crumbled like a pile of sticks and landed right on top of Applejack. The guards jumped in and turned it into a full-on dog pile. The weight crushed Applejack into the hardwood floor, pinning her down and suffocating her. The monster on top of her kicked about with long twiggy limbs and violently shrilled at her attackers.
In the madness, one voice rang out louder than the others. Woebegone shouted louder than ever before, “Hold it! Hold it! Stop! Stop! I’m so sorry, but stop! Get off of her. Get off!”
“Negative,” said a guard on top the dog pile sternly. “She’s a threat that must be neutralized.”
“That’s no threat,” said Woebegone, “That’s the witch!”
Everypony stopped. “The witch?” said one of the guards.
Woebegone nodded. “Yes, that’s her.”
“Oh, okay then.”
The guards redoubled their efforts, grabbed her by the arms and legs and stretched the screaming and hissing witch on the ground like a trow-skin rug, with Applejack still trapped underneath. At least she could finally see from under the flaps of the witch’s loose rags as Woebegone pulling at his long hair and Twilight calculating her next call.
“No, no, no!” Woebegone turned to Twilight who was still standing on the table, grabbed her by the forehooves and shook her, shaking the focused expression from her face. “Princess! Tell them to stop this instant!”
She nodded and shouted, “Everypony stop!” A wave of magic erupted across the room, and Applejack felt a light fluttering sensation tingle in her belly and the suffocating pressure was lifted off of her. Both the witch and Applejack were lifted off the floor, surrounded by a purple glow, just high enough for her to stretch her legs before shortly being dropped onto their feet.
The witch was upright again, nailed in place by many paranoid, shifty eyes, but she seemingly didn’t care. She reached down with her long hands and dusted herself off while grumbling and grouching at everything and everypony around her. “Seriously, is this how you treat the elderly? No respect. Not a one of you. Woebegone’s the only one with some sense here, and that ain’t much. Hardly enough to make change for a nickel.”
Applejack, not wanting to be at the bottom of another dogpile, quickly skittered around the witch and next to Woebegone and Twilight. “Woebegone, is that the witch you said that put that ‘curse’ on you?”
“What is she doing here?” asked Twilight.
“You know, I’m right here, maybe you should try asking me that before tackling me to the floor again,” said the witch with a scowl.
“You were going for the princess!” said a guard.
“Princess? What princess? The purple one?” The witch leaned forward and carefully observed her from head to hoof. “She’s not even wearing a crown. What happened to the big white one? Aren’t you a bit small to be a princess? No, I didn’t come for your princess.” The witch pointed a long boney finger at Woebegone standing next to Twilight. “I came for him.”
Woebegone took off his hat, exposing his balding head, and held it against his chest and approached the witch, shivering slightly. “You came for me? Why?”
The witch threw back her head and laughed before slapping him on the back so hard he nearly fell over. “Woebegone, my boy, you’ve finally learned your lesson and broke the curse! To be honest, I doubted you for so long that… well, I doubted you a lot, let’s just say. You hopeless ninny! But you proved me wrong, and I tell you, when those words of yours came in through the cloud and into my ears, I just had to congratulate you.”
“Thank you?” said Woebegone while trying to maintain balance from the many forceful smacks on his back.
“Now hold on just an apple-bucking minute, here,” said Applejack. “You mean he was really cursed? But we just proved he wasn’t cursed by you!”
The witch stopped slapping around poor Woebegone and looked right at Applejack with a huge, cow-pie-eating grin. “You sure did, and you’re right. I never did curse him.”
Confusion spread through everypony who managed to stay and listen. Woebegone scratched his head, getting his fingers tangled in his long, thinning red hair. Twilight herself sank chin-first into her chest in deep thought.
“Say what now? You cursed him with that darn cloud!” said Applejack.
“That was cloud was no curse. That was something I used all the time with my patients called a ‘Cognitive Conditioning Cumulus.’”
“Patient?” said Applejack. “He ain’t your patient! He knocked you into a cauldron and you zapped him with magic. He’s a victim.”
The witch nodded and relaxed her pose, but still kept the grin. “True, true. Woebegone did hang out with a rather rude bunch of rascals and he did ruin a perfectly fine batch of pea soup. So I made a big display and stuck him with a harmless cloud that…”
“Harmless!?” A naked pony rushed over to Applejack’s side. Lyra’s golden eyes pierced like two spears, set to kill. “Have you been not paying attention? That was a bucking huge storm. The cloud over his head grew into a full-blown hurricane when we tried to kick him out of town. Your ‘harmless cloud’ almost blew away Ponyville!”
The witch flinched at the stabbing accusations spat her way. She huffed. “You sure you didn’t just lose track of it? Trying to find a particular cloud in a storm is like looking for a candle on the sun.”
“What!?” spat Lyra. “No! You can’t weasel your way out of this. I demand an explanation then for that storm that got us so worked up, so unless somepony walks in here and tells us the reason behind the storm, I’m holding you accountable for everything.”
Just then a pegasus guard walked in the hall The young cadet saluted with a cheerful smile and proudly announced, “Princess Twilight, the errant typhoon has been taken care of and we found the cause! It seems a bunch of pegasus were transporting a flock of storm clouds from Cloudsdale but were caught unprepared by a sonic rainboom. The blast smooshed the clouds together to create a massive typhoon that broke loose over Ponyville. Had proper safety measures been taken to ensure spacing and padding between the storm clouds, the issue could have been avoided.” His smile faltered when he saw the state of the room - chairs knocked over all over the place, all of the guards surrounding a tall, evil-looking witch, and the many confused and irritant looks. The princess herself wasn’t even looking his direction, but fumbling through a bunch of notecards on a table. One unicorn mare in particular was red with anger. “Uh, bad time?”
Lyra screamed and chased him out the door. Berry shook her head with a sigh and went after her.
The witch huffed and put her fists to her hips. “Stupid.” She relaxed her posture and lifted up her pleading palms. “Look, now do you believe me?”
Perhaps it was just because Applejack finally had a few moments to study the witch, or it could have been a bump to the head during the earlier dog pile, but the witch seemed less “witchier” than at first glance. Softer. More down-to-earth. The deep-blue rags that draped off her twiggy figure had a faded quality that told of ages of constant use. In several places, careful mends had been made to maintain it. Her skin itself, while very green and covered in warts, was very clean, except for the tips of her fingers. Ink and earthy matter stained them and was collected under the nails. Her now relaxed face had pronounced crows’ feet by her eyes, and wrinkles ran all the way down the side of her mouth. Just like Granny Smith’s ‘smile’ lines. Even her words were like Granny’s - blunt.
Applejack took a step closer and stuck out a hoof in apology. “Hey, um, I’m sorry for headbutting y’all like that. You just teleported in like that, laughing all evil-like, and I wasn’t quite sure what was going to happen.”
The witch reached out wrapped her bony fingers around her fetlock and shook it. “Eh, I had worse.” She turned around and glared at Woebegone. “You, come here.” she demanded. Woebegoene begrudgingly inched up closer to the witch. She snatched up in a big hug. She squeezed him hard and dropped him unceremoniously on the floor. “Okay, that’s enough touchy-feely stuff for one day.”
“Excuse me, Mrs. Witch?” Twilight approached with a card kept close by with magic. Her eyes had the cheerful gleam of some yet-discovered insight. “But, you wouldn’t happen to be a therapist, are you?”
The witch smiled threw up her hands. “Yes! Oh, sweet and sensible -- yes. You’re the first in so long to recognize that.”
Everypony else in the room gasped in surprise.
“Say what now?” said Applejack.
Twilight held the card up with a proud smile. “You heard her earlier when she said ‘Cognitive Conditioning Cumulus’? As she said in the story: ‘But when you have a change of mind and believe your deeds both good and kind, your small black cloud would shrivel up and the sun will shine anew!’ That ‘curse’ is a cloud that punishes undesired habits with rain and thunder. Only by recognizing and dealing with the internal thought processes that causes the unwanted habits can the cloud be cleared. The fact that she referred to it by name is what really gave her true practice away.”
Twilight paused as if waiting for praise for connecting the dots.
Applejack scratched the back of her head. “So, wait. You’re saying the cloud is gone because he stopped thinking negatively?”
The witch sighed and rubbed the corners of her eyes. “No, you stupid pony. He realized that he had a nasty habit of blaming everything on himself, and that was the root of his issues. His self-pity fed the cloud.”
“Listen here, witch, I’ve got half a mind to knock you seven ways to--”
“Hey, if you’re a therapist, why are you called a witch?” interrupted Pinkie Pie. She pointed at the witch’s clothes with her free hoof that wasn’t holding a bag of semi-defrosted peas to the bump on her head. “Is it because you dress like one? Or was it because you turned somepony into a newt?”
“Pinkie! Manners!” scolded Twilight. “You don’t just tell somepony they look like a witch.”
The witch laughed heartily at Pinkie’s question. Or maybe it was Twilight’s sudden shock and scolding. “Using magic is a taboo among us trows. When I’m not working on my profession, I’m practicing the peculiar arts of potion-making and spell-casting. The other trows have ostracized me for it, but they always forget their prejudices when they want a professional ear.”
“Aw, those bunch of meanies,” said Pinkie. “I’m sorry that you’ve been ostrich-sized.”
The witch wiped away Pinkie’s pity with a smile. “Oh, don’t you worry none, little pink one. It doesn’t bother me at all. Besides, it’s not like there are any other therapists in the Trowlands to take away my business.”
“You mean, you were trying to help me?” interrupted Woebegone, “by showing me that I am not bad luck? I’m not… bad?” Slowly, as he was lost in thought, his eyes unfocused and his head tilted towards the ground. His mouth slightly agape. His lips started to tremble, and they pulled and stretched, almost unnaturally across his face. Under his skin, rusty dusty gears turned and churned for the first time, pulling a smile across his face. A bigger smile than Pinkie had ever had.
He threw up his hands and cheered loudly. “Yippee! Yippee!”
He hopped and skipped and cartwheeled and somersaulted all around the hall.
“I’m not cursed! I’m not bad luck!”
He looped around the room and ran up to Applejack. His eyes were bright and exuberant underneath his matty disheveled hair, bringing warmth to his face. He wrapped his arms around Applejack’s neck and squeezed. “Oh, it’s all thanks to you, my friend! I couldn’t have done this without you!”
She wheezed and patted him gingerly on the back. “Nuttin’ to it, sugarcube.”
And when he wouldn’t let go, Applejack patted his back harder. And harder. But he wouldn’t let go.
“Um, Woebegone? You can let go now.”
“I can’t.”
“What do you mean?”
Applejack felt a few jerks on her mane.
“My fingers are tangled in your mane.”
---
After a little mane snipping, Woebegone and Applejack were finally separated. But Woebegone didn’t stop smiling. It grew on him more and more.
“Well, if I’m not cursed and that pesky cloud is gone, I guess I can finally go home!” said Woebegone as he went towards the open door of the hall. He looked outside towards the setting sun on the horizon and took in a breath of new air, as if it was his very first, and turned back to the ponies and witch still present. “You’ve all done so much for me. Is there any way I can thank you?”
Applejack shook her head. “Aw shucks, there’s no need for any of that.”
Woebegone took off his hat and bowed. “You ponies have helped me through the darkest time of my life. I’m so sorry that I have brought so much pain with me.”
“Now listen here, we’ve already been through this,” said Applejack with a smile. “You weren’t the cause of any of this. You have nothing to be sorry about. If anything, we should apologize for troubling you.”
“Oh, sorry,” said Woebegone, but after the words already passed his mouth, he covered his mouth and blushed.
The witch strode up to Woebegone and held out a hand. “So, shall I take us both back home?”
Woebegone reached to grabbed the witch’s hand, but pulled away before she could take his. “Actually,” he said with a pause and looked back out to the setting sun. “I quite enjoyed the journey here. Lots of nice scenery and plenty of time to be alone with my thoughts. They were mostly bad thoughts before, but now I’m feeling so much more positive! I want to have some time alone with these new feelings.” He shook his head and shook the witch’s hand. “Thank you so very much for the offer, but I’d like to take the long way home.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to go with her?” said Fluttershy. “The Trowlands seem very far away.”
Woebegone answered with a shake of his head and smiled. “I’ve made it this far already with negativity clouding my path. With the help and guidance you’ve given me, taking this trail once more should be a breeze.”
The witch shrugged and said with a smirk, “Suit yourself.” With a wave of her hand, the wind wisped around her and kicked up a fog. “Safe travels,” said the witch, and when the fog fell, she was gone.
With a tip of his hat, Woebegone said, “Goodbye, Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie,” and walked down Main Street, his back straight and his head as high as the setting sun. Applejack and everypony waved and called out goodbye as well.
“Well, that’s one situation taken care of,” said Twilight as she looked around at the few remaining ponies around her. Among them was the foreman who had fixed the castle’s foundation.
“Excuse me, your highness, but we never did discuss how you’d foot the bill.”
Twilight rolled her eyes with a sigh and nudged Applejack. “And now we’re stuck with the boring problems. Just my luck.”
“Heh,” said Applejack reflexively. Her mind was elsewhere, too bothered to be bothered by Twilight’s horrible attempts at humor.
Further down the road two naked mares stopped Woebegone in his tracks. One earth pony and one unicorn. Led by the upright earth pony, the slumped unicorn was encouraged to speak, but she dragged her hoofs and avoided eye contact. But the persistent earth pony, through tender touches and guiding gestures, was able to open up the unicorn before Woebegone. Words were said. First by the unicorn, then by Woebegone. Short sentences became longer ones and eye contact was made. Eventually, the earth pony cut into the conversation and offered a small bag of candies. Woebegone took the bag and placed it into his jacket pocket. He reached out and shook their hooves merrily and walked unobstructed out of Ponyville.
Applejack smiled and turned back into the city hall. She had other friends in need of help.
---
The room Derpy found herself in was relatively peaceful. Down the hall, she could hear the nurses gallop from one room to another, their hooves skidding on the sterile tiled floor and their voices echoing medical lingo of which she was unfamiliar. But it was distant and garbled enough that it faded into the background and didn’t interfere with her thoughts. She passed the time playing with the donut-shaped pillow she had received from the doctor after an impromptu medical procedure that required a little relaxation and a lot of lube.
She had only one other roommate. Actually, she had had one other roommate. But Rainbow Dash had quickly snuck out of the only window in the room as soon as the nurses and doctor left. She couldn’t look Derpy in the eyes as she threw open the window and blurted, “Gotta go.” A nice a lazy breeze blew in and kept the air mostly fresh, as the slight stink of smoke and burning drifted. Somepony must have left the stove on. When she closed her eyes, it was like she was in her own kitchen. With a long deep breath, Derpy forgot about the sterile room and her tender tuckus, and slipped peacefully into a nap.
Some time later, Derpy awoke to a strange, weightless pressure. She opened her eyes and saw another mare looking back at her with a large smile. She was too untidy to be a nurse. Or maybe they had become so over-worked that they no longer cared about their appearances. Her light blue-gray mane was all over the place, but it didn’t conceal her large, puppy-dog fuschia eyes nor her wide smile. Her tail fanned excitedly behind her.
“Why, hello there,” said Derpy as she let out a short yawn. “Oooh, guess I fell asleep. What time is it?”
“Arf!” said the pony as she gestured up to a clock on the wall.
Half past six.
“Oh my! That’s awfully late,” said Derpy as she turned to the window. The sun was setting, and the sky was baked in delicious golden autumn colors. Like muffins. Derpy’s belly grumbled, reminding her she’d had nothing to eat for almost a whole day. Those tummy grumbles were loud enough to even spook her new acquaintance, who no longer wagged her tail and stared wide-eyed at Derpy’s grouchy gut.
She tried to cover up the grumbling with a titter. “Hehe, I haven’t anything to eat all day today.”
The mare at her bedside stared on absentmindedly until, as if stung by a bee, she jerked away from Derpy and quickly dashed out the door and down the hall.
“Huh, what was that all about?”
Alone again with no one to talk to, Derpy took in the hospital once more. While her room hadn’t changed, the atmosphere was completely different. Derpy got up and waddled over to the window and looked outside. Besides a change in lighting, she noticed a large herd of pink ponies tiredly migrating to the hospital, guided along by the occasional royal guard. From her window, she could hear them muttering and complaining, but what about wasn’t clear. It probably was related to why their were all naked. The noise outside was just a dull buzzing compared to what echoed down the hall, as nurses impatiently called out for unusual amounts of aloe lotion and gauze while galloping up and down the halls. One set of very heavy hooves stiffly thumped outside of Derpy’s door. Growing louder and firmer with each step. The clopping stopped right outside her door, but only for a moment. Then a stallion, completely mummified in gauze except for small slits to see through, plodded through the door. Hardly moving at the neck, he looked in Derpy’s direction, then observed the beds in the room. He saw the unclaimed bed on the other side of the room, then jerked one hoof in front of the other, as if all his joints were made of wood, and inched his way over to his destination. Once he arrived at his bed, he teetered side to side until there was enough momentum to throw his whole body onto it. The bedsprings screeched under his weight.
A twinge of pity tugged at Derpy for this stoic stallion who took his pains like a pro. She pulled a blanket over him and his stiff legs. It was like tucking in an oversized ‘My Pretty Pony’ doll.
“Thank you,” mumbled the stallion through his tightly-wrapped jaw.
“You’re welcome,” replied Derpy. She left his side and looked down the hall and saw more mummies marching into empty rooms. Farther behind them was a gray-blue blur - the pony from before. She weaved between them madly, rushing through every opening until she slid under another mummified patient. Her eyes were trained on Derpy’s as she raced ahead, until she skidded to a stop in front of the door.
Before Derpy could say anything, the mare pressed the top of her head into her chest and excitedly nudged her back into the room.
Caught unprepared by the enthusiastic return, Derpy was almost knocked backwards, but corrected herself with a flap of her wings to protect her tender tuckus. “Goodness me, you were certainly quick. Why’d you run off like that?”
The mare leaned down and plopped a brown paper bag on the floor in front of her then nudged it closer before sitting down on her rump. That same large, beaming smile was on her face, but now she had her mouth open and panted madly. “Rrruff ruff!”
“For me?” Derpy picked up the bag and inspected it. On one side of the bag were some scribbles in marker, smudged and barely legible. The first letter was clearly a large ‘D’ with some extra special loopy lettering. It took some squinting, but there was unmistakably four more letters. As she inspected the bag, the rolled-up top came undone and released a delicious odor. Derpy ripped the bag open.
Inside were banana-nut muffins.
“My muffins!”
“Bark bark bark bark!”
“Oh great, is there a dog in the hospital now?” whined the stallion.
Derpy wrapped up the barking pony in a hug and got a big slobbery dog-kiss in return. “Oh, thank you so much! But wait, I didn’t tell you my name. How did you know this bag was mine? Where did you get it?”
“Dogs can’t read. She probably just grabbed it by chance,” said the stallion.
The pony shrugged her shoulders with a goofy grin.
A nurse called out from down the hallway. “Hey, doc, where’s the muffins you bought? I’m starving!”
The news ringed in Derpy’s ear and everything suddenly clicked. She held the pony away at hooves length and held up the bag. “Oh no, did you steal these for me?”
The pony nodded.
Derpy shook her head, but couldn’t bring herself to stop smiling. “You bad thing,” she said sweetly. “You shouldn’t have stolen these for me, but it was very nice of you to do this for me. My name is Derpy, and you are?”
“Arf ruff!” said the mare.
“I’m sorry, one more time?”
“Arf ruff!”
“I’m sorry, I’m having trouble hearing through your accent.”
“Oh for Celestia’s sake! Just check her collar,” said the stallion.
Derpy looked. The mare had no collar, but she did have on a hospital gown, and there was a nametag on her chest.
“Oh! Your name is Screw Loose,” said Derpy happily as she took the her in for another hug. “It’s very nice to meet you.”
“Arf!”
“Yeah, and my name is Big Whoop,” said the stallion.
“Very nice to meet you, too, Big Whoop,” said Derpy.
“No, wait, my name isn’t really… Oh, nevermind,” said Big Whoop.
With introductions aside, now Derpy could deal with the case of the missing muffins. She’d have Screw Loose return the muffins right away, or at least she normally would, but she had come down with a very naughty idea. Undoubtedly inspired by her new friend and partner in crime. And the rumblies in her tummy. Derpy reached in the bag, pulled out two of the muffins, and put them on the bedstand next to her before handing the bag back to Screw Loose and leaning in close to whisper, “I know we shouldn’t, but there’s plenty of muffins to share. Take the bag back, and I’ll give you one of the two muffins.”
Screw Loose saluted and rushed back into the hallway. “Hey, watch where you’re going!” shouted somepony down the hall.
A twinge of guilt plucked at Derpy’s conscious. The hypocrisy! Had Dinky been involved this situation, she wouldn’t have done what she did. Stealing was wrong, and she knew it. Still, it wasn’t like she’d be arrested for swiping 620 calories of delicious goodness that already had her name on it. Oh Dinky, please don’t ever turn out to be like your spoiled mother.
Her thoughts of her new life of crime were dispersed by Big Whoop’s groaning as he started rocking back and forth in his bed. She waddled over to his side and into his line of sight, and he stopped wobbling back and forth. “Could you get me some water?”
On the bed stand next to him was a large pitcher of ice water, some plastic cups, and drinking straws. She poured a cold drink and carefully aligned the cup on the edge of the table with a bent straw just inches from his lips. The stallion reached out and took a long sip, almost completely emptying the glass, which Derpy promptly refilled.
“Thank you,” said Big Whoop with a satisfied sigh. “So, what’re you in for? You look totally fine to me.”
“I had a flying accident,” she said. It took effort for her to stop there and not go into further embarrassing details. “But I’m okay now. It wasn’t too big a deal.”
“What, really? You paused there. Everypony’s had a bad day today, even you. You don’t have to be modest with me.”
“Oh, no, really. It was just a little flying incident… and…”
“And…?”
“Well, this morning my breakfast fell in the mud and got ruined, and my lunch was a total bust, too. I haven’t eaten anything all day! I got covered in sewage and had to have another pony spray me off with a hose. And then I had the accident and then that embarrassing surgery, and now I have to sit on a donut for the next few days. I didn’t even get to finish my mail route and will be forced to take time off to recover! I’m going to be so far behind on my deliveries and ponies will be upset with me.”
“Oi.”
Try as she might, Derpy couldn’t bring herself to be angry in venting. Sure, she was frustrated, and she saw enough reason to be furious at her luck today, but in saying everything out loud, a voice in her head argued back and robbed her of the will to be angry.
“I tell you, what, little miss. That does sound bad. Not being able to work is horrifying.” He took another long sip and Derpy refilled the cup. “I, too, will be out of commission in the immediate future, and I can say that I’m quite peeved at this turn of events.”
“I mean… it’s not all bad though,” Derpy said, “I could always use a day off. And I’ll get to spend it with my little filly. We could finally have a day to do some puzzles or work on her homework together. That’d be nice. And to be honest, today wasn’t really that bad.”
Big Whoop stared wide eyed at Derpy. “Oh really?”
“Well, yeah, sure, I may have gotten hurt and now I’m behind on work, but nothing too terrible happened. I got to meet you and Screw Loose on top of getting some time off. And today wasn’t just another run-of-the-mill day. And if anything else, I at least got an interesting experience out of it.”
There was a moment of silence between the two as the words in the air settled in their minds. Big Whoop, who had been staring right at Derpy the whole time looked away in thought.
“Huh,” was all he managed to say before being interrupted by a series of barks.
Screw Loose had returned and Derpy gave her the promised muffin before gratefully devouring hers. She took the donut pillow under a wing and turned to the door.
“It was very nice talking to you, Big Whoop,” she called from the door while waving goodbye, even if he couldn’t turn his head to see.
“My pleasure, Derpy.”
Derpy then walked out of the room and talked with her new friend Screw Loose all the way to the front entrance, which was packed to brim with naked ponies, each one getting the oil and bandage treatment for their burns. Derpy thanked Screw Loose for her help and kindness, and even invited her to dinner tomorrow, which she gladly accepted. She thought. Was “Yes” one or two barks?
The next day, Derpy and Dinky put together a 1,000-piece 3D puzzle of Canterlot, worked on her basic algebra, which Derpy swore wasn’t that difficult when she was in grade school, and then started cooking together a dinner of baked squash and parsnips with apple pie dessert. There was a knock at the door. Dinky went to answer and came back with Screw Loose. Her hair was neatly combed and she was holding a fruit basket with a note.
The note said:
Dear Derpy,

I wanted to properly thank you for your kindness at the hospital yesterday.

Also, you gave me plenty to think about while stuck in my current situation. Your positivity and ability to see the good in any situation reminded me of a much younger and more handsome me. Optimistic almost to a fault, and you don’t let setbacks keep you down. You have admirable mental fortitude and an unshakeable confidence. I need more ponies like you around.

By asking around the hospital staff and using my connections, I was able to put together this fruit basket to show you how genuinely glad I was to meet you. I also learned much about you: you are my mail mare. You have a lot of experience in dealing with ponies and deliveries. Both of our daughters go to the same school. And most importantly, you’ve got your priorities straight. Everypony I’ve asked about you has had nothing but good things to say.

I’m looking to start a delivery service for my stores, and I want you on board. You will definitely be a valuable member to my team, and even if you can’t take the job immediately, I’ll always keep a spot open for you.

Sincerely yours,

Filthy “Big Whoop” Rich

Derpy held a hoof to her muzzle to contain her delight. Images of what could be flittered in her head. More money to put Dinky through college. More money for a nicer house. She wouldn’t have to budget every little thing on her mailmare salary. She wasn’t certain if she’d take the job -- oh, it was so scary to think about, but so exciting!
But she was certain of one thing: despite all the bad luck she’d had, yesterday was a good day.