What If...

by TheMajorTechie

Pinkie Pie encountered a genie?

Pinkie searched high and low for Gummy. The 'gator hadn't been seen for the past week, and Pinie was beginning to become rather... unhinged. Especially if one asked the customers of Sugarcube Corner.

"WHERE ARE YOU, GUMMY?!" She hollered, flipping a nearby table and narrowly missing a customer.

In a matter of seconds, all that was left of the storefront was a plaster of leaflets, all identical, all donning the image of a tiny reptile that belonged to a hyperactive mare.

Pinkie shed a tear as she lay down in her bed. Gummy would be forever missed to her, and she--

"WHO DARES AWAKEN ME FROM MY SLUMBER?!" A decidedly loud voice boomed over Pinkie.

The mare immediately perked up from bed, confusedly staring at the pillow the voice had emanated from.


"Ooh!" Pinkie cheered, "Wishies!"

A hovering, ghostly image of Gummy emerged from the pillow. "As you wish." the image began, "Are you in any way familiar with the ways of genies?"

"Yup!" Pinkie answered, "Three wishes, no necromancy, no Jedi Mind-Tricks, no wishing for more wishes, no forcing people into love, no summoning Tirek from the worlds below, and--"

"Okay, sheesh," the Gummy-like genie responded, "I get it, you've met a genie before."

"Nope!" Pinkie chirped, oblivious to the fact that the real Gummy had just crawled into her lap from underneath her bed.


"Well I'll be." The genie finally continued, "Now then, let's get on with this shebang, eh? What's your first wish?"

Pinkie thought long and hard, her thinker thinking of a thought to think about so that her think-machine could ink the thought into a idea for her mouth to think out loud.

"I'd like to see my--" Pinkie paused, staring down at the now-slumbering Gummy. "um... World Peace Plan happen!"

The genie nodded. "As you wish." it stated, "What is this plan of yours?"

"No bad guys!" Pinkie said happily, "EVER!"

"As you wish."

Meanwhile, Tirek suddenly became Celestia's cake butler, and while surprised that he was out of Tartarus, found it impossible to steal magic anymore. Combined with Celestia's trollish antics, he quickly lost his will for domination.

Also, the Sirens were suddenly smashing pop hits that continuously topped the charts.

And Chrysalis was now the Element of Love, much to the jealousy of Cadance.

...And Flufflepuff was born from a swarm of Parasprites transmutating after falling into the Mirror Pool. Somehow.

The genie held up three fingers, but blew away one of them. "You now have TWO wishes!" they declared, "What is your second wish?"

"Hmm..." Pinkie began. "Ooh!" she suddenly realized, "I wanna be with my friends for ever and ever and ever and ever and ever--"

"Forever?" the genie deadpanned.

"FOREVER!" Pinkie screeched.

The genie nodded. "As you wish."

Suddenly, everypony in Ponyville became an Alicorn. Why? Because Pinkie was friends with them, of course. But Pinkie didn't know that. Yet.

"And your final wish?" The genie finally began, "I'd advise that you make this one count."

"Free you?" Pinkie asked, remembering a certain movie.

"Nah brah." The genie declared, "I'm not that kinda genie, y'know. I've got my own life still."

"Huh." Pinkie began, "What about..."

Somewhere on the opposite end of Equestria inside a suddenly-appearing Temple of Nothing In Particular, a pocket universe dedicated entirely to Pinkie Pie and her friends was created with a blinding flash of pure energy, incidentally irradiating everything within a 100-mile radius.

Pinkie gasped, and suddenly jumped into a personal portal through the multiverse as the Genie completed her final wish.

"Where ya goin?" the genie asked as Pinkie disappeared into the portal.

Just before she vanished, Pinkie shouted back, "I SENSE A DISTURBANCE IN THE HORSE!"

Meanwhile, on Earth...

Mr. Sir Anon Anonymous the Third of the House of Anon unloaded his pickup truck of hay to the local farmer, wiping his brow with an arm.

That is, would've wiped his brow with an arm if it weren't for a certain mare plummeting onto his face.

"WHERE'S THE HORSE, ANON?!" Pinkie shouted, "WHERE IS IT?!"

Anon's muffled voice came unnoticed from underneath Pinkie.

"Whoops." Pinkie began, backing off of her old interdimensional friend from beyond the fourth wall, "Sorry."

"Pinkie." Anon began, "TJ is perfectly fine. Megan's got good care of her."

It was at this moment, when Pinkie realized...

"ANON!" Pinkie shouted again, pulling the mask off of Anon, "YOU'RE THE HORSE!"

Anon snorted. "Fine," he began, "So your Pinkie Sense finally detected my true form, but you'll never know my FINAL FORM!"

With that, Mister Sir Anon Anonymous the Third of the House of AnonHorse blasted away on his rocket-propelled flip-flop horseshoes.

"Fine then." Pinkie pouted, "I'm going home."

Pinkie shot out at Mach-2 speeds from her portal, headbutting the quietly-reading genie in the gut.

And revealing the guy to just be Discord wearing a horsehead mask painted to look like Gummy.

Because reasons.