Pinkie Pie had been walking to the group's usual lunch table when she was pulled into an empty classroom by a pair of blue hands.
“Wheeee!” She giggled as she was thrusted into an empty seat, her tray still in hand. “Is this a surprise party?” she asked, munching on a cupcake.
“More like an intervention,” Twilight Sparkle answered her, adjusting her glasses. “There’s a few things that we all have to get off our chests.”
“So take it off, silly billy!” Pinkie responded, giggling.
“No, we mean we have something to tell you, and it's kind of important,” Sunset Shimmer explained, putting a hand on Pinkie’s shoulder.
“Ooooh what is it?” Pinkie said, bouncing in her seat. “Is Ms. Cheerilee finally getting married? Did someone make a movie of our other world counterparts? Did Granny Smith stop using horse meat in the hamburgers?”
“No, no, and what?!” Applejack barked.
Sunset’s face turned a slight shade of green. “I think I’m gonna be sick. I’ve been eating those burgers since I came through the portal,” she slumped down in a chair next to Pinkie and put her head on the desk.
“No!” Dash yelled. “We mean your parties! You throw way too many parties!”
Pinkie gasped, offended. “There is no such thing as too many parties, Rainbow Dash!” the tone in her voice was deadly serious. “Parties. Are. Serious. Business!” she emphasized every word of this by poking a finger into Rainbows chest.
“Pinkie, stop touching my chest,” Rainbow deadpanned.
Pinkie drew back her finger and giggled, “sorry, Dashie!” She smiled up at the girl, “if it makes you feel any better, your chest is really squishy!”
“It’s doesn’t,” Rainbow growled. She covered her chest with her arms.
“That’s not what we’re saying, darling,” Rarity told her softly. “We know how much you love parties, it’s just....you...erm, oh dear, you take them a bit too far.”
“Too far?! You can never take a party too far!” Pinkie told her indignantly.
“Yes, you can! You throw a party for everything!” Rainbow Dash waved her arms around. “Even when there doesn’t need to be one!”
“Name one time!” Pinkie said, folding her arms.
“You surprised me with a cake in the bathroom after I got my first...um...period.” Fluttershy reminded her. “I-I haven't been able to take a shower in the girl’s locker room ever since.” Her eyes became pin pricks as she remembered the terror of Pinkie’s drenched face staring her down with a waterlogged cake. The red icing that dripped down the drain made the situation a whole lot worse.
“It’s a big and really important moment in a young girl’s life!” Pinkie said definitely.
“That didn’t need to be shared with the entire girl population of Iron Will’s third period class! Poor dear couldn’t show her face for a week!” Rarity said, consoling the young animal caretaker.
“Okay...maybe I should have waited until after the showers....But that was one time!” Pinkie protested.
“And the time you made us lose the Soccer Championship!” Dash said, pointing a finger at her.
There were twenty seconds left on the clock. The game was close and it was now or never. Rainbow had the ball. All she had to do was make this last goal and she could win Canterlot High the Championship after their fifteen year defeat thanks to Crystal Prep.
All eyes were on her. There were talent scouts from colleges all over the state in the stands, waiting for her to impress them. She could do this. She was Rainbow Dash. She was awesome.
“Happy winning the game for Canterlot High!” Pinkie yelled from the sidelines with a cake which caused her to release her kick prematurely.
The ball bounced off the goal post and hit Rainbow in the face at full speed, knocking her out.
When she had woken up, she was in the nurse’s office with Pinkie standing over her with that damned cake in her hands.
“D-Did we win?” Rainbow had asked, groggily.
“Nope!” Pinkie bubbled. “But the video of you taking a hit to the face has over a million views already!” she beamed, grinning. “So, happy becoming a viral hit, Rainbow—ooff!”
Rainbow had gotten up and pushed the cake in Pinkie’s face.
Pinkie licked her face and giggled. “Mmm! Vanilla!”
Pinkie frowned. “Okay but—”
“And the time you gave me a cake for being attracted to my own species in front of everyone in the hallway!” Sunset hissed, glaring at her. “While Flash was there! How’d you even know I was—”
“Your porn folder.” Pinkie explained.
“Gah! Stay away from my computer, Pinkie!” Sunset said, hugging her chest.
“It’s okay Sunny, we all have our kinks,” Pinkie patted her on the back, “I mean, Fluttershy’s into pet play,”
“Eeep!”
“Or the time you celebrated the fact that I hadn’t done anything with my brother!” Applejack bellowed, a blush on her face.
“Oh come on, Applejack, that’s something that needs to be celebrated! Everyone was taking bets against you!” Pinkie said, eating another cupcake.
“What?!” The farmer barked.
“Uh...I mean...That’s it? You guys don’t have any other times?” Pinkie Pie said, trying to change the subject.
Twilight adjusted her glasses, unsure if she should speak. Though she understood that if she didn’t contribute, Pinkie might continue with her party tyranny.
“There’s...there's also the time you had surprised me with a cake on my front doorstep after Timber gave me my first kiss.” Twilight said, fiddling with the hem of her shirt. “I don’t even know how you got there in time.”
“Oh yeah!” Pinkie giggled. “The look on your faces were so cute! Though I thought your first kiss would be with Sunset.”
“Excuse me?!” Sunset asked at the same time that Twilight squeaked.
“I-I don’t know why you’d even think that!” Twilight stammered. “I love Timber! And this is about you, not me!”
“And the time you threw me a party after my brief romp in the janitor’s closet with Flash.” Rarity added, folding her arms. “I mean honestly, talk about being caught with your pants down.”
“I thought you wore a dress,” Pinkie said, narrowing her eyes at the fashionista.
“Wait—You and Flash?” Sunset asked incredulously. “How did that—”
“Fall Formal. Too much punch,” Rarity answered her flatly. “Anyway darling, the point is, while we love you and your parties, they just get...out of hand.”
“And really interfere with our lives. Also again, stay out of my porn folder, Pinkie!” Sunset reiterated.
Pinkie looked around at all her friends, really, truly understanding now what they’ve gone through. While moments in life should be celebrated, not every one should be celebrated publicly. And while it’s a lesson that took her most of her high school life, she finally understood their woes.
“Thanks for letting me know how you feel, guys. Really, if you hadn't sat me down and told me, I wouldn’t have even known!” Pinkie said happily.
There were varying degrees of “Thank you!”s and “Finally!”s that followed soon after.
“Which is why I’m going to throw you guys a Thanks-for-the-party-intervention-party!”
A chorus of forehead smacks rang out as Pinkie giggled to herself.