Oh the Hew-Manatee!
Lyra could barely feel her legs as she woke. Her desert dry mouth told her that she had just exited the Time Vortex yet again, but this time she knew where she was. The mint colored pony could feel a gentle breeze flowing through her mane as she stood, she could feel the grass under her hands. Lyra Heartstrings knew she was home, she knew she was in Ponyville.
“Wait what?!” The unicorn finally opened her eyes and looked down, noticing that she had... Hands. Real hands, like a... a... “DISCORD!”
The snoring of the God of Chaos could be heard just inches away from Lyra’s head. The pon... No, not pony, she thought to herself, human. The young woman looked up to see a strange looking man in a bright orange suit with slightly greying hair floating above her. “I don’t want to go to school today mommy...” Discord said, still half asleep, “I want to stay home and bake cookies with you.”
“Dammit Discord, get up!” Lyra fumed, glaring at the Spirit of Chaos and trying to use her best teleporting spell to get the big lug down to the ground; however, the former pony noticed that her horn was missing. In its place was a smooth, blemish free, forehead. The young woman reached up to feel her mane, it was still there, and from the look of it the thing was the same color it always was. Lyra then looked down at her arms and noticed some strange, loose fur. According to her books, this substance was known as clothing, and it was used to shield humans from the elements. She seemed to be wearing an all green outfit, consisting of a long sleeve ‘shirt’, a ‘vest’, and a pair of green ‘pants’ with black ‘shoes’. The only thing that was strange to her was the gold charm around her neck, it seemed to be hanging off a chain, not to mention if looked exactly like her Cutie Mark.
Finally, after she had taken note of her new garb, Discord let out a yawn and looked down at his ally. “I see you’ve been checking yourself out. See anything you like?” he asked, jumping off the cloud he was resting on and slowly floated down to the grass below.
“I... It’s amazing.” Lyra responded, looking behind her. She had managed to find her saddle bags, which were now transformed into a single bag with two straps. “But... I thought we were going back to Ponyville. I miss my... I mean, I miss Bonny.”
Discord frowned, shaking his head in a mix of confusion and slight anger. He had just taken his mare to the one place she had always wanted to go, the one place where she could see that humans aren’t just in the minds of ponies, and now all she wants is her ‘Bonny’. “I just don’t understand you ponies sometimes,” the God of Chaos said, trying to keep as calm as possible, “but I guess you of all beings can literally look a gift horse in the mouth.”
“Oh haha, very funny.” Lyra gave her best fake smile as she turned from the former draconequus and sighed in frustration, “Just take me home ok? We can come back to this place some other day, but for now all I want is Bonnie.”
Discord smiled and teleported behind the green haired human, his eyes still just as strange as they were in Equestria. “Oh come on Lyra, you might not get a chance like this again.” the Chaos God’s voice was soothing to the former unicorn, her eyes seemed to glaze over slightly as he spoke. “Now, why don’t you just look around for a bit... Have some fun. After all, when will you ever be able to come back to this place once you and ‘Bonnie’ are an item? In fact,” Discord stepped in front of the slightly shorter woman, “when will you be able to do anything when you and her are hitched? How do you even know she’ll say yes?”
Lyra shivered and blinked, like she had just been staring into the sun for the past ten minutes. Her once light green hair seemed a bit darker, as if it had been mixed with some grey dye. “You know what Discord...” Lyra Heartstrings looked into the eyes of her ‘friend’ and smiled excitedly, “You’re right! Bon-bon and me aren’t a sure thing, especially with the way she acts around me. But this place, this...”
“Earth.” Discord said with a malicious smile.
“... This Earth is exactly where I want to be right now.” The former unicorn smiled like she was a filly again just before running to the closest thing she could see, a city.
“H...hey! Wait up!” Discord started running after her, then stopped and gave an annoyed look at no one in particular. “I forgot... I can fly...” He slapped his forehead with his palm and jumped into the air, and started floating after the excited young woman.
***
Jason did a double take as he watched the two strange character just run and... fly off. “Wait... FLY!?! Th... That guy’s...” the man known as Jason shook his head and slapped his cheeks, checking to see... No, hopping that he was dreaming. “People don’t fly, people don’t fall from th sky and just walk away! And that guy, he just kind of... Hypnotized her! This is something out of a bad fan fiction...”
The poor man was so busy trying to make sense the scene he had just seen, that he didn’t notice another large, blue, swirling hole appear. This time it was on the ground, but that didn’t stop the people from walking out of it like it was the door from their favorite restaurant. The first one was a man in a red dress shirt, green vest, and khaki dress pants. Behind him was a woman in a long, brown cloak that had her face completely hidden from the world. Blackspine smiled as looked across the green field, the wind blowing through his slicked back hair. The could taste that this planet was full of completely chaotic beings, capable of anything... And he both loved, and hated this.
You’re wasting time, the voice in Blackspine’s head shouted, we must find Discord now! This is the perfect time to take his power, while he’s distracted by these pathetic humans.
“I take it you’ve been here before then?” the former pony asked his voice.
Yes and no, I’ve been to this place but not this part of it. Not to mention, I do not want to stay here any longer then I have to. Now... FIND THE DRACONEQUUS!
Blackspine winced at the volume of the formerly weak voice, it had been like this ever since he had fled the first Era of Discord. It was like the voice was getting stronger, oh well... It didn’t matter now. Blackspine walked up to the human who was slapping his face and tapped him on the shoulder. “Excuse me, but what city is that?”
Jason turned, slightly dazed from his own slapping. “Oh, um... That’s not really a city, well kind of. It’s Joliet.”
“Hmm... Jolly-ette. I enjoy that name,” Blackspine smiled sinisterly and snapped his fingers. Suddenly, two large, red pegasus wings erupted from his back, tearing through his shirt and vest like paper. The winged man then jumped into the air, flapping his new appendages as he followed after the two he had been chasing for what seemed like years. The hooded woman took a few steps forward, then turned to Jason and smiled before running after her master.
Jason just shook his head, “Ok... No more watching pony videos till three in the morning.”