In the mind of the Spirit of Chaos, Discord did not honestly expect for there to be such a big disconnect between how ponykind viewed other dragons and how other dragons viewed ponykind. Part of him felt split on the issue, given how he, as a draconequus, was half pony and half dragon. But after hearing Spike’s journey on the great dragon migration and also hearing about when he first met Ember after being called upon by former dragon lord Torch, he had a bit of an idea as to where he wanted to start off with this piece. But he also had Spike help him with trying to understand everything like he was actually there during the great dragon migration a couple of years ago.
So, while he was greeting everypony from his desk that night in preparation for the beginning of this piece and the camera was now on, Discord made sure that everypony in the audience was rather comfortable with everything first, before introducing the topic. “Our main story tonight is about dragons. Available in half pint, pint sized, quart size, by the gallon, and also liters.” That was followed by images of Spike and other dragons that varied in size with the last one being Torch because of how he towered over every other dragon during the Gauntlet of Fire. “Now, when most ponies nowadays think of dragons, they would think of them as greedy, selfish and also a harm to society like when this happened several years ago.”
“Listen up! Smoke is spreading over all of Equestria.” The clip being seen showed Twilight Sparkle when she was a unicorn talking with her friends inside the golden oaks library as they soon responded with gasps of shock and panic, even though Fluttershy was already trying to tell them that this was what was going on the whole time. “But don't worry, I've just received a letter from Princess Celestia informing me that it is not coming from a fire.”
“Oh thank goodness.”
“It’s coming from a dragon.”
That had everypony in the room collectively gasp in response as Fluttershy herself then said “A-a dragon?”
That was when the clip paused for a moment and Discord looked back at the audience for a moment. “And yes, when you first see that, you may think that a dragon is coming to attack Equestria and such. But, as it turned out, all it was doing was taking a nap and the smoke was coming from the dragon snoring. Yet, it’s important to note… that any attempt to try to get that dragon to move failed by Twilight and the others… and yet, the issue was resolved when Fluttershy herself, got over her fears of dragons and confronted that same dragon like this shortly after an attempt by Rainbow Dash failed tremendously.”
“How dare you... How dare you! Listen here, mister. Just because you're big doesn't mean you get to be a bully! You may have huge teeth, and sharp scales, and snore smoke, and breathe fire. But you do not-- I repeat-- You do not! Hurt! My! Friends! You got that?” That was while Fluttershy was eyeballing the dragon she was speaking too as it started to whimper a little bit. “Well?”
“But that rainbow one kicked me.” “And I am very sorry about that. But you're bigger than she is, and you should know better. You should also know better than to take a nap where your snoring can become a health hazard to other creatures.” The pegasus insisted.
“But I-”
“Don't you 'but I' me, mister.” Fluttershy interrupted him before staring at the dragon dead in the face. “Now what do you have to say for yourself? I said, what do you have to say for yourself?”
That startled Discord to the point that he even almost fell out of his chair. “H-holy sh*yay*t. I’ve never seen Fluttershy that terrifying since I accidentally mistook the meaning of ‘spring cleaning’ and tore the springs out of the sofa.” That showed Fluttershy in the same kind of attitude while Discord was wearing a maid’s costume and looked like he was using a cloth to clean the springs inside the actual couch. “I-i didn’t know that it wasn’t like this! ‘You could’ve asked me! Now, what do you have to say for yourself’?”
That had the crowd laughing even more as Discord soon cleared his throat. “Now, apart from moments like this one, all the times that you see Twilight with her assistant Spike and also when the new Dragon Lord Ember… AKA, Ms. Superhero Landing, arrived in ponyville sometime back, there seems to be a bit of a severed view when it comes to the subject of dragons in general. And this isn’t a pony specific issue. Dragons also have a bit of a severed view when it comes to their views on ponies and it leaves me… a being that’s half and half of both species being really torn on the matter. So that leaves us with tonight's subject, or what I’m calling a ‘Dragon Disconnect’.” The image that coincided with that seemed to be an image with a split silhouette down the middle. Where half of a Pony was on one side with Ponyville in the background on the left, while the other half was of a dragon with the dragon lands shown in the background on the right.
“The reason why I refer to it as a disconnect is because aside from a few exceptions on both sides of the aisle, the most basic perception in how one side views another is rather skewed,” The Draconequus explained as he then pointed to something else. “Because even though there are a lot of nice ponies… and also nice dragons… when you generally ask for somepony’s view on the situation, this is the kind of response you get.”
“Dragons? Those selfish brutes? Why would I care for them?”
“They’re greedy, self centered and really only care about themselves.”
“Who would care for someone like that which wouldn’t care for us in the same way?”
Discord had the crowd be silent for a moment as he began to speak. “Now, you may think whatever you want on those assumptions… But you have to admit that the third statement is a bit cruelly ironic for some ponies living in Canterlot right now.” That image was followed by a brief image of Blueblood while at the Gala before it changed back to the title image. “But… if you take the same question that we asked them and asked some dragons instead, this is what they have to say.”
“Those ponies aren’t anything like us! We have to fight for what we want and they just get it like a bunch of spoiled hatchlings!”
“They run with their tails in between their legs at the sign of real danger! Complete and utter cowards they are!”
At the last one, Discord paused it for a moment as he looked back at the screen. “Okay, first off… that last one was from a dragon, who personally wanted to win the gauntlet of fire for no real justified reason against ponykind whatsoever… and secondly, it’s a little hard to hear that dragon call us cowards when he probably ran all the way back to his cave so he didn’t have to hug any dragon that he happened to come across after he was ordered to do so by temporary royal decree.” The last part showed an embarrassed Garble racing to get back home alongside that of Spike when he was holding the Bloodstone Scepter in his hands. “And the most shocking thing about both of those arguments… is that both sides didn’t even know that a princess had a dragon assistant at all! It’s like not realizing that Apple Cider is pretty much Apple flavored Alcohol given how it’s always served in steins and how sometimes, you can ask for it ‘on the rocks’.”
That was shown with several images shown consistently. One of Twilight and Spike, another one of Applejack serving Cider and the last image of a pony getting an actual rock in her cider. “So here we are… We have two sides who have been around for over a thousand years… and it seems like both of them haven’t even bothered to learn about one another within that timeframe and instead listen to what they believe. But here’s the question… was it always this way?”
That had a lot of people thinking to themselves and murmuring for a moment, before Discord brought up the reason why he said that. “Think about it… not every two ponies are the same, nor are every two dragons. Surely somepony back then had to think that not all dragons are greedy and selfish right? Well, when I was doing my research on this with Spike earlier this week, we both got contacted by the most unlikely of ponies that wanted to talk to us about this.”
It was then that a piece of paper was shown at the top of the screen… and it began to scroll all the way down as it read off the contents.
My dear Spike…… and Discord. It has come to my attention by a fellow princess that the two of you have been trying to research the history between ponykind and dragons. Therefore, I would like to offer you my assistance in the matter because I may know some of the answers to the questions that you are trying to find.
Sincerely, Princess Celestia
At the end of the last piece, Discord looked back at the crowd as he began to speak after that. “Yes… that happened. Princess Celestia herself, who let me remind you that at one point we were former enemies, ended up onto the same side when it came to this,” That included an image of the princess firing blasts of magic at Discord while he was running off like a cartoon villain. “That’s basically the equivalent of the Mane-iac showing up at Masked Matterhorn’s apartment door and saying ‘Look, I know that we both have our differences, but we got to get that asshole out of apartment 3B’.”
That had a lot of the ponies that were familiar with with Power Ponies comics laughing their flanks off, especially since it was very unlikely that such a thing would actually happen. “Now, before we go any further into this, some of you may be thinking… ‘Well hang on, how exactly does Princess Celestia relate to this?’ Well, before we get to that… please consider the following. It was Princess Celestia who had Twilight not only hatch Spike’s egg during her test to get into Celestia’s school for gifted unicorns, but also allowed for Spike to stay with her. Years later, she not only helped in certain cases involving dragons, but also knew that when Spike was glowing that the Dragon Lord was calling for all dragons to be summoned. That’s information that most other ponies would normally not give a sh*yay*t about at all. So… instead of asking how she relates to this… we should be asking how does she know all of this? And the answer may surprise you.”
“When I was a lot younger, my parents always told Luna and I that Dragons were these big beasty brutes that didn’t really care about us or any other ponies. However, it was also during that time that I met a friend who was a dragon and not as rude or mean like how my father described him. He taught me a lot of lessons and values that I cherish to this day and I once had them written in a journal… Until my father found out about our friendship and reinforced what he said by throwing it in the fireplace. Telling me that Dragons will be brutes and always will be brutes.”
That… caught all the crowd by surprise and also Discord as he looked back at the camera. “You have got to feel bad for Celestia during that time… To have a good friendship like that be ruined by a father who’s a complete and utter jerk… He seems like the kind of guy who running a business that’s hiring, but strictly disqualifies ponies just because they don’t meet all the required specifics for the job.” He said, while an image of Celestia’s father was shown throwing applications in the fireplace while an earth pony was complaining and being escorted out of the hallway by guards. “W-why sir? I have all the required skills! ‘Yes, but the application asked for a unicorn. You’re not a unicorn. Therefore, disqualified’.”
The whole entire room continued to laugh at that for a few moments as Discord took a chance to straighten up his tie and look back at the audience. “Now, to be completely fair to Celestia… not much was known about other species at the time and Celestia herself wanted to change that… But it’s been over a thousand years now and everypony so far is acting like nothing has really happened. All because of pair of oversensitive parents who didn’t want their little Celly to be growing up so fast.” Another set of laughs from the crowd emerged as Discord now posed a new question. “So, How exactly are we suppose to break the mold on this? Because we have gone over stereotypes before and what to do about them… just not as severe and ongoing as this. So, let’s break it down a bit to see what exactly can we do to change all this… because it isn’t easy… and there’s a hundred percent likelihood that doing so would have Celestia’s father emerge down from the heavens and slap me across the face for it.”
Just as he said that, Discord turned to his left as it looked like a hole was torn open in the ceiling as Celestia’s father did emerge from the heavens, slap Discord and then disappear seconds later. Leaving a beaten Discord with a chance to try and heal himself up a bit. “Uh… do I get points for calling that?” He asked, which in total caused some laughs to emerge from the crowd. “So where were we? Ah yes, breaking down how to fix the problem. Well, that is much harder than it looks because in some places, many folks are not really open minded when it comes to dragons. Whether they are good or bad… Just watch this pony here shouting at a pair of dragons who were coming home from a homeless shelter.”
“You trying to steal my stuff!? Break into my home?! Bring it on, you f*cking animals!! BRING IT!!”
Everypony in the crowd gasped at that, and even Discord looked horrified. “Okay, calm down there… All they are doing is walking down the street, not preparing a home invasion,” The draconequus stated. “Also, the phrase… ‘Bring it on, you f*cking animals’ is not appropriate under any circumstances. It’s not even appropriate in a situation where some ponies need to escape from a zoo.” That was followed by a fake movie poster of Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash and the Cutie Mark Crusaders running from lions in something called ‘The Great Zoo Escape’ as he cleared his throat.
“With that in mind… We need to find a way to show to everypony that Dragons aren’t as terrifying as they think they are. But it’s not going to be easy and there is no quick fix solution to this like anything else we’ve had to handle before on this show,” The Draconequus said to his audience. “But I know that we can all find a way to reconnect both sides of the aisle here… because even though a thousand years has passed, this issue makes Equestria look like it’s stuck in the past despite the amount of progress that has been done over the years. So, here’s an idea… together, we should pick a date within the next few months in order to get the word out for what we just demonstrated on this show tonight and tell them that we need to fix this.”
That seemed good and all and a lot of ponies in the audience agreed with it. But it was Discord’s last line that drove the message home. “I propose that we do this on February 2nd. Easy to remember because it’s Groundhog Day… Which seems rather appropriate given the circumstances. Because unless we find a way to fix this, we are destined to live through this nightmarish and stereotypical scenario all the way to the end of f*yay*cking time!!”
Some time later
“I think that went a lot better than I thought it would turn out to be…” Spike told the draconequus as both of them were walking down the hallway inside Twilight’s castle. “Thanks for helping out. I wanted to try and get to the bottom of something like this and I think this is a step in the right direction.”
“No problem,” Discord replied back. “I always try to diversify my stories a bit to get better ratings, but this one sort of hits home given how that I am half dragon and half pony… Just out of curiosity though, when does Princess Egghead get back from her cruise-?”
“She’s already back,” Both of them heard from the other side of the hall as Starlight trotted over to the two of them. “You’re not going to believe this, but throughout the whole time she was on that cruise with her family, it did not go so well for her.”
Both Spike and Discord looked back at the unicorn shortly after she said that, still trying to wrap her head around what Starlight was trying to tell them. “How exactly could it not go so well? She’s with her parents for Celestia’s sake.”
“Well, it turns out that how Twilight’s parents won the trip… and the guy in charge of all the festivities… were part of a scheme that really ruined her weekend… and the time she wanted to spend with her parents.” The unicorn that was once Twilights student explained. “It was pretty messed up too since she was not allowed to see the Northern Lights, the one thing she actually wanted to see on the trip.”
“Okay, I get that… but who exactly was the guy doing all of this… and how did he pull this off?” Discord asked, sounding confused but also mildly interested.
“Well, everyone else on the cruise, from what Twilight told me, seemed to be part of some sort of Princess Twilight Fan Club and she was forced to do numerous events and programs that separated her from her family and when she went to talk to the guy hosting everything, it turns out that she couldn’t get out of it because her parents signed a contract without reading the fine print.”
“That doesn’t answer the ‘who’ part of the question though.” Spike reminded her. To which, Starlight could only sigh as she asked both of them a single question.
“Have you ever heard of a minotaur named Iron Will?”