Without You

by Dustchu


00 - Arrival

BANG BANG

“Run! G-Go!”

“No! I’m not leaving you!”

“Just f-fucking go you i-idiot! Please! I’m not fucking worth it!”

ROOOOOOOOOOOOOAR!

Was it too late for us? I didn’t know. Was it too late for her? I hope not. Was it too late for me? Yes, yes it was. I prayed, begged and pleaded to every deity I knew there was, prayed that it wasn’t too late for her to escape this hell fire. But she was just there, on her knees in front of me and her arms outstretched, ignoring my pleas for her to escape.

Why?! Why wouldn’t she leave me?!

Please, God... please... get her out of here. I begged, blood running from my mouth, my arms, my neck... anywhere I had been injured.

He was getting closer, step by step he closed in, and she still wouldn’t fucking leave! She just... she just stood there!

The pain was so much, but I still had the strength to scream at her.

“Just go! Get out of here now!”

“I-I can’t...” Was all she could say to me.

Then he stood over us, this monster of thinly veiled shadow.

His claws came down.

”No!”

CRUSH


Arkansas


Eyes snapping open, my chest rose rapidly with each panicked breath. I threw off the covers and swung my legs off the bed, hands gripping the sheets in an attempt to keep myself from falling off into the floor. I felt so exhausted all of a sudden. A thin veil of cold murky sweat was draped across my body like an unwashed bed sheet. My heart wouldn’t cease its infernal pounding either, a stab of panic rolling through me from head to toe. Shit... another nightmare. I sighed and rubbed my face.

It had become a regular thing with me over the past few months, these frequent nightmares that plagued my sleep and threatened to fuck with my psyche.

I stood up from my bed and made my way to the bathroom. I reached for the handle for the sink and waited for it to spit out the first stream of water before I cupped my hands under it and quickly splashed my face with water. After I was done washing my face quite thoroughly, my hands rested on the sides. I raised my head to gaze at my reflection; pale clear-ish skin, bloodshot hazel eyes, yep... perfectly normal, least for someone like me.

I shook my head and dried my face off with a towel as I moved back into the bedroom. I noted it was 2:00 PM and groaned heavily. Despite the current time, it felt like it was too early for me.

Ugh.

Ever since I moved to the northwest portion of Arkansas a few months ago, I’ve been having these weird nightmares nonstop. All of them centered around some kind of monster attacking me and this... this woman who wouldn’t leave no matter how hard I begged her to leave me and just escape.

This has been happening so much and it confused me.

Why? Why is this happening so constantly? What does it mean, if anything?

I didn’t know what it really meant. I looked online and read web articles, I read books at the library, I even asked some of my friends and told them about this, but none of them really knew how to explain it or help me out. Pfft, I mean, it’s just a recurring nightmare, but... the same thing, over and over again, same scene, same girl, same voice. And it always reached the point with that crush noise from whatever attacked us both, ending the nightmare.

I just shook my head again as I wandered through the bland hall to get into the kitchen proper. Just stupid nightmares I told myself again and again, just stupid nightmares and nothing more. As much as the paranoid and fantastical part of me wishes that it actually meant something, this has been going on for a long while, so I wasn’t exactly holding out hope that it did mean something.

It was just another one of those things that gets my hopes up I suppose, you know the trope right? Guy or girl has recurring dreams or nightmares and it eventually leads into something crazy? That’s what I was hopeful for.

I went over to the fridge and pulled out a jug of orange juice before flipping on the TV in the room, letting the sounds of the news drown out the silence. I filled up a glass half full and proceeded to down it as I saw some report on TV, it was talking about some storms coming in from the southeast, probably another hurricane was headed for us. Wouldn’t be the first time, nor the last, hurricanes seemed to sprout up like cockroaches.

Storms... it was always storms, endless clouds that covered up the sky for miles around and let loose a downpour of ice cold rain, freezing my bones and making the day feel just a little dreary to continue staying awake. Though, sometimes, I’d stay awake and huddle up next to the window to watch it happen.

Crack boom

Speak of the devil, and he shall come.

I glanced out the window and saw it, the first drops of rainfall. My legs moved by themselves and I found myself opening the door to my balcony to step out. My glass was set down on the table next to some lawn chairs I had bought in lieu of actual relaxing chairs as I took those first steps out into the rain. I wasn’t wearing shoes, so my feet were assaulted first by the rain and slowly my whole body became drenched in rainwater. I looked out across the balcony’s edge and into the city I lived in, watching as the rain fell down and drenching everything in bone chilling water.

My clothes, a tank top and some shorts quickly grew heavy from the water. My legs were already a bit weakened so I sat down on the balcony, leaning back against the wall and letting the rain wash down across my body. My eyes closed, I didn’t move as thunder rumbled across the skies, and I didn’t move when lightning had crackled through the clouds, threatening to strike me.

I just sat there and let the rain soak me to the bone.

Some days I did this whenever it rained, just sit outside in the rain and think about life. My body would get cold, I’d end up with shivers and if I’m lucky, just a little cold that’ll last a week. Some might question me on this course of action; why risk getting a cold just to sit out in the icy rain during winter time to think? Good chance I’d die if caught something way worse than a little cold.

Maybe I just liked the feeling... maybe the chilling sting made me feel something other than the crippling boredom.

The pain of yesterday faded as the pain of today took over, making me wonder what the point was. It was one of those typical mindsets someone gets when they’re down and out; they’re confused and they’re angry at themselves for being confused and not knowing how to fix it. Or at least, know a good way to fix it, anyhow. My whole life has had its ups and downs, so it wasn’t exactly anything new that I was thinking like this.

As rain water trailed down my face in icy tingling trickles, my thoughts ceased to wander aimlessly across the landscape that was my mind. My eyes opened up and looked up into the sky. The rolling rumble of thunder, the rain pouring down onto me, it was calming in a way.

Until...

”Hey! It’s Rainbow Dash here, leave a message for Dustin at the beep!”

BEEP

I heard the distinct sound of my cell phone’s customized answering machine. I had actually managed to find someone to make one for me, it was pretty neat. They sounded just like my favorite pony, a lucky find if you ask me. I sighed and stood up as I heard the voice on the other end of the phone speak.

”Still using that dumb pony voice for your answering machine? Dude, you need to move on from that.” I heard the voice of one of my friends, Steve Thorten. ”MLP’s not really as cool as it was before, it’s all about that Chunichi Boku Banana dude! The girl on there is a lot better than your garbage waifu.”

Christ. I wandered over to my cell phone that was sitting on the counter and picked it up, then hit the answer button. “Yeah, fuck you too, Steve, leave Dashie out of this.”

”Pfft, Rainbow’s garbage tier and you know it,” Steve told me, and my blood just boiled. He always did that to get a rise out of me... and sadly it tended to work half the time. ”Anyway, I called you cause I wanna know if you’re up for hanging out with me and the guys tonight, you free?”

I just stared at the fridge in front of my counter, staring at the calendar which was pretty much in the red from days I’ve crossed out. My entire week was clear... not a thing on there. “I’m busy...”

”Oh... uh, next week then?”

I didn’t have the strength for next week either, but I replied, “Maybe...”

”...You alright man? I was just fucking with you abo-”

“I’m fine.” I cut him off, “Next week... I promise.” I told him, I think I heard something of a question come from him, but I was too busy staring at the fridge and hung up my phone. I let it clatter to the counter and just stared.

”I’m fine.”

Was I fine? Was I really fine?

I mean... I was sorta well off when it came to finances, I had food, electricity, a roof over my head. I made plenty of money to pay the bills, a sub par job that supplied said money. I had my YouTube channel going strong, and I had my friends of course. In all aspects and sense of the word, I should be fine, perfectly fine, no problems at all.

But I felt like something was missing from my life... and I didn’t know what it was.

I sighed... and a breeze of cold air reminded me that I was sopping wet.

Fuck.

A quick change of clothes and I was sitting on my couch, glancing at my TV and watching some commercial play in the background. All the while I wondered what I was going to do today. I had used up all my hours for working this week, and I wasn’t itching for some overtime. And I had told Steve I wasn’t free so... what the fuck was I going to do?

Fuck me... I shook my head before getting up, the rain had let up so... might as well go for a walk or something, clear my head.

It didn’t take long before I was outside my apartment and walking outside, wandering around the area aimlessly. I passed by some other buildings, a gas station, a grocery store. Some people walked around the area, not even giving me a passing glance or acknowledgement. I didn’t really want them to, more of an observation on my part.

Bah... what has my life come to where I’ve become such a damn mess? I needed something in life, it was... something my body yearned for, something my mind said was obvious, but what?

What?

I needed an escape.

My little walk had ended with me wandering up to the park nearby which appeared abandoned today. No surprise, considering how rainy it was earlier. I sniffled and made my way over to a bench—I promptly sat down on the wet wood, leaning against the backrest and watching the city. My hands rested in my pockets, little drip drops of rain fell onto my hair... I was promptly bored.

I need a new escape in my life. I realized. For the past couple of years I had fanfiction to tide me over, to help me get away from the problems of real life... to help me live out these adventures that realistically I’d never be able to go on. Life simply was not as interesting as my story ideas.

Some of what I wrote was... typical of a fanfiction author, wish fulfillment and power trips—though on occasion I’d post something that was insightful or catching the eyes of my readers. Though I never did get around to writing a heartfelt adventure story or a romance with an amazing plot, I simply wasn’t talented enough, I never was.

Afterwards I just... drifted out of writing fanfiction, my heart didn’t feel up to it anymore. I still kept in contact with dear friends and fellow writers of course, but trying to write a story nowadays just felt... incredibly difficult, it was hard to type words and keep to the set plot line I had in mind. And despite repeated attempts I just burnt out, I couldn’t keep going and thought; Hey! I just need a break is all.

It’s been a year since I said that, and I haven’t so much as thought about slapping my fingers against a keyboard to create words and a story.

I just stopped writing, painful as it was.

I’d get a comment on occasion from people asking me when I was going to post something new or update one of my older stories, and I’d tell them I was on break... but in reality, it just an excuse to stave off the metaphorical mob of angry pony lovers.

That won’t ever happen, obviously, I wasn’t that good of a writer, I wasn’t exactly a prominent name in the fandom, Dustchu was just a handle that a few may have heard of in passing. So any chances of people literally hunting me down were slim.

Anyway.

Without my writing to escape into, I had ended up delving into depressing territory. The feeling of loneliness, despair, and just general anger encroached on me from all sides, closing in like walls and suffocating me. It made me angry and scared. As pathetic as it may sound to some, I could only handle so much before I broke down—regardless of how cheery and friendly I was, deep down was a... really angry and stupid child who didn’t know what he wanted out of life.

My hand suddenly found itself smacking against my face, knocking me out of my thought process. My cheek stung, my fingers felt hot, and overall I felt really stupid.

“Fuck me sideways.” I muttered, leaning back and letting my head hang backwards, forcing me to look up into the graying skies. I could faintly see a rainbow forming, and smiled a tiny bit.

Rainbow.

Another sigh escaped me and I reached into my pocket, pulling out my cellphone and turning it on to gaze at the wallpaper. On it was a pony, specifically Rainbow Dash, the cyan colored rainbow haired pegasus mare that I enjoyed looking at and thinking about writing. Though my mind tended to make the story ideas with her something that just didn’t feel... right I suppose. I spent most of my time fantasizing about her, thinking about meeting her, becoming her friend. That usually ended up becoming a story idea I wanted to explore.

Sadly, I never truly got around to actually writing out those fantasies of mine, so they just remain in the back of my head, locked away in a sad little vault of forever unrealized dreams.

Dash... It made me feel so pathetic to feel so strongly about a fictional character, and just thinking about makes me realize just how goddamn cringy I am. Goddamn it. I made to tuck my phone back into my pocket—before I bit the proverbial bullet and drowned my sorrows in fried chicken—my phone suddenly rang.

My eyebrow shot up as I yanked it back out with a flourish and saw an unknown number. I was contemplating hitting the disconnect button, I didn’t recognize the number or the area code for that matter, which was 417, huh.

Fuck it. I hit connect, the call picked up and I put the phone up to my ear, “Hello?”

I heard something, but I didn’t know what. Sounded like a AOL dial up being raped but another dial up. “Gah!” I pulled the phone away from my ears, rubbing my now aching ear. Goddamn it, was someone pulling a prank on me? That shit probably fucked up my damn speaker!

”Hello there.”

I glanced down at my phone’s screen now, and for some reason the wallpaper was spinning around, my apps disconnecting and swirling around, twisting and warping. Looked like someone took a hammer to the screen or something. I panicked out of fear of losing my old but handy Nokia, and scrambled for the disconnect button, but it didn’t even show up on the screen. “Fuck fuck fuck.”

”Aren’t you a scared one, panicking like you are.”

The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. Who the hell? Could they see me?! I glanced around the area, but all I saw were moving cars and no people outside. I was surrounded by tons of tall buildings, were they looking at me from one of the windows? Bringing the phone back up to my ear, I could hear that faint screeching that was AOL devil spawn, “Alright, who the hell are you and why are you fucking with my phone?” I growled. I didn’t need some hi-haw-larious hacker messing with my phone.

Stupid wireless shit.

I made to head back home, if only to grab my gun for reassurance. I took shortcuts, one hand drifting into my pocket for my knife. ”You lack manners, hmmph... speaking with such vulgarity, didn’t your mother teach you any better?” The distorted voice questioned me.

I was nearing my apartment now, and I switched to my keys. “My mom is just as vulgar as me.” I commented, I needed to get to my phone and call the cops, make em trace this shitstain.

As I opened the door and entered the building, I hastily made my way through the lobby to the stairs. ”What about your father, hmm?” The voice asked me... and a spike of subdued anger rushed through me. ”Oh right, you’re merely the bastard child, am I right? Abandoned at birth~”

I froze once I reached the door to my apartment. My heartbeat filled my ears... I didn’t exactly make that particular knowledge about my estranged father public, save for brief conversation between close friends who may have asked me about my parents, or if I was just sneaking in an self-insulting joke. “What?”

”The bastard son of Robert Booth, if I’m not mistaken.”

My hands ripped open the door of my apartment, and I rushed inside, tossing the phone onto my couch and running into my bedroom. I heard the faint laughter, but it only served to make my blood boil, as well as send waves of pure panic coursing through my body. I skidded into my room and over to my closet which I ripped open.

Down on the floor was a small safe, I knelt, and quickly put in the code to unlock it.

THUNK

It opened up, and I pulled out what lay inside. A Beretta 92FS Inox, chambered in 9x19mm with 15 rounds in the magazine. I gave it a check, making sure it was loaded. Satisfied, I stood up.

SKREEEEEEE

I heard from my living room. I held up my gun and ventured back into it—after making sure to lock my door of course, and saw my phone. The screen looked as if it was being fucked by the Warp, with a purple colored whirlpool of death, swirling around and around and around, never ending.

”How do you feel?”

I frowned as my eyes flicked over to the windows—which were shut up tight after I had left. “I’m doing... just fine.” I muttered, Who is this cunt? And what’re they doing to my phone?!

”You look... tired, perhaps you should take a nap.”

They can still see me?! “I’m not tired!” Was my apartment bugged? Why? And wh-

THUMP THUMP

My head throbbed in pain—I felt lightheaded, woozy, almost like I had drank a fuckton of whiskey before doing a dozen shots of vodka. I stumbled, falling onto my knees and grasping my head. S-shit!

”Nighty night my sweet prince~”

Fuck me... I collapsed onto the floor, darkness took me...


Unknown


”Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock.”

”He could very well be... but are we certain?”

”I say kill him, kill her, kill all of them... more trouble than they’re worth.”

”Now now... don’t be so hasty~ The fun hasn’t even begun!”

My eyes shot open, a gasp of air and I woke up from whatever just happened.

I saw a nighttime sky above me, filled with stars and clouds. I was having a bit of trouble focusing at the moment, but I was able to focus enough that I realized I shouldn’t be outside. The phone call I got came back to me and so did some torture movies I watched years ago.

Oh jeez.

“Ahh... my everything.” I slowly sat up—also taking note that my hand was still gripping my handgun. A shake of my head to clear the hazyness, son of a bitch... I must have been drugged or something, shit.

I managed to gain enough of myself back so that I could look around.

If I was drugged however, why would they leave me my gun?

I was in a dark dank alleyway, with some disgusting trashcans, boarded up doors and newspapers strewn about. I stood up, gripping my handgun tightly and trying to figure out where I was.

Looking out into the city, I realized I wasn’t in my city, in fact... I didn’t know where the fuck I was. This part of the city was unfamiliar to me, I didn’t recognize any of the buildings, the streets... nothing. Well, not recognized from my city that is. A curious glance into the streets, I saw some cars parked next to the sidewalk, a lot of older looking vehicles too, old ford trucks and some muscle cars, sedans, station wagons.

Didn’t put too much thought into it... but that changed when I noticed just how quiet the city was, not a sound to be hea-

BANG

I jolted—collapsing to the ground and huddling up against the wall and gripping my only source of protection like it was a life raft. Shit! Someone shot someone... or something, I dunno. But the silence was destroyed as more of those sporadic pops and cracks filled the air around me. Not like... the occasional gunshot, but more like a fucking war zone. I could hear automatic gunfire in the distance, alongside random booms and pops, the difference in gun types was obvious.

To me anyway, I played a lot of games and watched a lot of movies, so the noises were kind of ingrained into my mind.

Dang it, where am I? Detroit? A snicker escaped me, a timeless joke... a very pathetic timeless joke. A shake of my head and I slid up the wall until I was standing and gripped my gun carefully.

I peered out into the streets, still not seeing anyone. There were some car crashes and street blockades—police barricades coupled with strategically placed vehicles to block off some roads. A few fires were raging from a crash ambulance, a police car, and a bus that ended up in a fender bender of sorts down one street.

I got nervous.

I slipped out of the alleyway and crept down the street, hiding behind some of the newspaper bins that looked older than I would have thought and slipping behind some old 90’s era sedans.

There’s a lot of fucking old shit here for a big city like this, I’m fairly certain I’m not where I think I am.

And by that, I mean the era, all of the police cars were incredibly older models, same with the taxi cabs, ambulances, and every other car.

I ignored it, and focused instead on finding some answers.

Just keep calm, stay alert,

I thought in my haste to move through the streets and hopefully avoid any unwanted detestable vagabonds. more of reassurance to myself that hopefully I wouldn’t get killed by whatever was currently causing this mayhem.

My hasty movements brought me up to a small small inner-city park type deal, a small little area with a playground just a little ways away from a suburbs looking place. I saw some swings, slides, typical shit you’d see there...

The dead body that was currently being torn into by a few bloodied chaps was a very colorful addition that I’m pretty certain doesn’t fit in with city park regulations, though.

My eyes locked on the two grown men feasting on the body of a teenager, ripping and tearing into his body like he was some kind of buffet. All I could hear was the munching and chewing, the gurgling rip of sinew and muscle being torn apart and shoved down their gullets.

I was grateful for my somewhat strong stomach.

Something fell over behind me, causing my heart rate to spike as my head whipped around. A cat yowled nearby before darting off, and I saw it had knocked a trashcan over. I breathed a sigh of relief and turned around—I thought it was gonna be something bad or something.

But when I faced the two men, I saw them staring at me now and a sudden chill ran down my spine. Their eyes were a milky white, their skin mottled grey, clothing torn and covered in blood. I was reminded of a franchise I had gotten into at a young age called Resident Evil, and I remember playing the first couple of games. I was truly terrified of the graphics it showed me; PS1 knew how to fuck you up horror wise.

And these fuckers... everything fell into place.

The old cars and buildings.

The newspaper bins.

The old shit I was seeing everywhere and that odd feeling of nostalgia-

CRACK BOOM

-And the... rainbows?

Up in the skies, a giant explosion of rainbow parted the clouds, exploding outwards in a ring like waves of prismatic wonder. A trail of the bright color began flying downwards towards where I was at, aimed at me like a heat seeking missile. Nervousness crept into my gut—I backed up, hearing the moans but being too focused on the small blur that was currently flying towards me at ‘Mach I’m Probably Gonna Die’

“Shit shit shit!” I backpedaled, making to turn and run for it as those two fucking obvious zombie looking motherfuckers. I was not feeling in the mood to get murdered by either them or the rainbow blur currently locked onto m-

SMASH

“FUCK!”

Annnd it hit me anyway.

I went flying across the pavement for a short amount of time before landing in a very painful roll, which ended up with me skidding across it and smashing into the side of a taxi cab. My back, arms, and shoulders cried out in pain and I was barely able to keep myself from yelling. I was still awake though! Stubbornness probably being the one thing keeping me from going insane, I swear, I must have been kidnapped or something and thrown into some kind of sick experiment shit by that hacker.

My eyes flicked up and I saw a small crater in the road, jeez. Must have hit harder than I thought, that or I got super lucky, how was I not dead? Looking in the crater itself, however, presented me with something that ultimately got my mind moving and helped me realize that, I must have been killed and this was some kind of weird purgatory I was experiencing

Laying in front of me and smoking slightly from her rather explody entrance through the skies was the incredibly familiar equine I had as my phone wallpaper, a character I had grown attached to from the moment I saw her. Cyan fur, a pair of fluffy wings, a very distinct prismatic mane and tail of multiple colors, and about as big as a large dog was none other...

Than the Element of Loyalty, Rainbow Dash.

And if I wasn’t mistaken, looking around the area, with the current zombies coming at us, the vehicles, and the newspaper I saw lying next to me.

Well... we were stuck in motherfucking Raccoon City, from Resident Evil.

Goddamn it.