Living in a palace whose owners are easily twice the height of any pony, and possess inequine strength and tempers to match led to certain practical considerations regarding reinforcement and worst-case engineering.
This is why the door did not fall off its hinges, though mere steel and wood being with they are, it did require a visit from a craftspony of distinction before actually closing again. Dotted made a note of this, somewhere in the file cabinet of his soul, and marked the payment as coming from the Royal Snit sub-account even as most of his brain was involved in the sort of self preservation that insisted on maximum distance between it and an enraged princess of the Moon, Dreams, And Kicking Things Really Hard Until They Stopped Being Things Altogether.[1]
[1]Probably. Dotted's brain was prone to exaggeration when in a panic.
"MY LORD LINE! THIS IS INTOLERABLE! UNBEARABLE! WE WILL NOT STAND FOR IT!"
"Your Majesty?" Dotted was amazed at how smooth his voice sounded. He was getting used to Princess Luna, he really was. Why, it's been days since she last startled him into jumping out of a window and that was only a first story one, too!
"THOU CANST NOT BE IGNORANT! THE SITUATION WITH THAT BOLTING-HUTCH OF BEASTLINESS, THAT SWOLLEN PARCEL OF DROPSIES, THAT—"
"Beagle Bagel, Your Majesty?"
"SO THOU KNOWEST?"
"Indeed, Your Majesty."
"AND YET YOU STAND THERE LIKE A STONE WALL! IT CANNOT BE BORNE! IT CANNOT BE ALLOWED TO STAND!" Luna took a deep breath. The first, Dotted estimated, since she walked in.
"My Lord Secretary," she continued,"I will not let this pass. Let my sister rule as she pleases, but my honor does not allow this, not if all the heavens shall fall around mine ears. It is past sundown, mine is the elder word now, and you mine to command."
"I serve the sisters two," Dotted said, dryly.
"Now you serve one in particular, My Lord Secretary. This Bagel... creature cannot be permitted to walk the land after the insult he has offered to one we are proud, neigh, privileged to call friend. I know well the things you are capable of. Have him struck down or I shall do so myself, laws of this fallen age be damned."
"Oh," said Dotted, with polite surprise,"Oh! I am so sorry, Your Majesty, but here you are getting exercised over nothing. I'm afraid I can't quite do what you ask."
"Are you so weak-livered that you would refuse?"
"Not quite, Your Majesty. You see, just before sundown, your sister was here to have a, ah, word on the same subject. Though not in the same volume."
"She forbade you from doing what honor demands," Luna spat out.
"Not... not quite. Not in so many words. Rather the opposite."
"You... you had him assassinated on her orders," asked Luna, eyes quite wide.
"Oh, no, no, no Your Majesty."
Luna sat down and gave Dotted a withering glare.
"Explain thyself."
"Well, about an hour before your sister, Her Highness Twilight Sparkle requested a favor, and seeing as both your majesties were very clear that I am to extend every courtesy—"
"You killed him because of her?"
"Well no, Your Majesty," said Dotted and, raising a placating hoof, hurried to explain, "you see some four hours before Princess Twilight showed up at my door I had already taken the liberty of... arranging matters."
Luna stood silent for a few moments blinking.
"And he is dead?"
"Alas, your sister frowns on permanent solutions to problems such as Mr. Bagel, but, ah—"
Dotted's polite talking-to-royalty smile grew considerably wider and seemed to acquire more teeth than the pony jaw could theoretically accommodate. Luna was sure she could see a dorsal fin.
"My Lord Secretary?"
"—ah, well, Your Majesty, you would be astounded at the sort of things a pony can live through. In fact if you would have a cup of te—coffee, and wait a few minutes I'm sure you could see for yourself."
Luna sat, dazed, as Dotted prepared a delic— adeq— not immediately lethal cup of coffee, decanted it into a cup with the aid of a knife, fork, a tiny stool and a even tinier bullwhip, stunned it slightly, and served to her with an expectant smile.
She took a tentative bite. Her eyes crossed briefly.
"A... robust cup of coffee, My Lord Secretary."
"A Civil Service special. We've last cleaned out the coffee pot in 459 and that was an accident."
Luna chewed her coffee thoughtfully.
"A fine vintage, then. But, My Lord Secretary what are we waiting for?"
"Well," replied Dotted, "any minute now—"
"THERE HE IS," came a yell from the city square below, "BURN HIM!"
A number of voices took up the cry "BURN HIM! BURN HIM!"
And, one enthusiast, "TOAST THE BAGEL!"
After a while the clamor grew too loud and mixed to tell voices apart. But it was obvious that somepony down there was paying off karma at a vastly accelerated rate.
"My Lord Line?"
"Your Majesty?"
"What dids—did you do?"
"Unto him as he had done unto others. With interest."