//------------------------------// // Chapter 03 - Coffee & Comics // Story: A Pony Displaced: Homeward // by NoLongerSober //------------------------------// Barrier tapped his hoof against the floor as everypony ate in relative silence. Fleetfeather took notice from where she sat beside him but made no comment on it. Meanwhile, Daring took notice on her side, and nudged him which drew his attention. He looked at her, at first from the corner of his eyes then turned his head to face her, an eyebrow cocked inquisitively. “Relax,” Daring said, “As soon as everypony finishes breakfast, we’ll explain some stuff to them.” Barrier nodded, and with a sigh, stilled his legs and turned back to his coffee. A few minutes later, the group had finished the free continental breakfast the hotel had provided, though Barrier was loathe to call it breakfast. The assortment of food provided was more akin to a buffet of breakfast foods. Swiftsword was the first to speak after they had finished. “Captain, now that we have had broken our nightly fast, mayhaps Miss Yearling can tell us who she truly is?” “Indeed,” Fleetfeather chipped in. “She mentioned last night that she would explain why she responded to the name of ‘Daring’ before. It should also explain why you referred to her as such in the Crystal Empire.” Daring chuckled slightly as she focused on the powder-blue mare. “I’m afraid it’s not quite as impressive as you’re all thinking. I’m the author of the Daring Do series of novels and prefer to be known by my penname A.K. Yearling when around ponies who don’t know that I’m the title character, or that the stories are closer to a biography than fiction. I’m an archaeologist and treasure hunter, often hired by the princess to take care of some of the more dangerous treasures out there.” “She’s quite popular,” Barrier added. “And if the masses were aware, they no doubt would want to help in one way or another.” “Which would lead to problems,” Daring said with a slight cadence of discomfort, picking up where Barrier had trailed off. “A lot of’em. I don’t think the princess would appreciate a bunch of random ponies following me to dangerous dungeons, treacherous temples, and all the other places I end up going to.” “She tends to make enemies in her line of work, if my own experience alongside her is any indicator.” Daring started to rub the back of her neck and let out a slight chuckle which seemed to confirm Barrier’s claims. “Yeah, wouldn’t want all of the treasure hunters and baddies I’ve pissed off tracking me down to my home or anything.” “Now, with that explained, do any of you have any other questions before Barrier heads out to make house hunting preparations?” Verdant raised his hoof, drawing a slight smile from Daring. “Willst thou be able to help us with adapting to modern Equestrian writing and speech?” The pegasus chuckled. “Sure. Actually, first lesson. Instead of ‘willst’ we use ‘will’ and in place of ‘thou’, we use ‘you’.” Winter Gem raised a hoof this time. “Wouldst th…” She pursed her lips as she stopped to correct herself. “Wouldst you show our group some important locations around this city, Ms. Do?” The others, Fleetfeather and Wind Whistler included, appeared to take interest in the question. “I don’t see why not. I’ve been here before, so I know some of the sights. Though we can’t quite make a day of it just yet. We should probably save that for after we’ve found a place for you to stay in. Also, it’s ‘would’ now, not ‘wouldst’.” “Yeah…” Barrier rubbed his chin. “My first stop will have to be a bank. Will you be able to arrange our stay here for a while longer, Daring? I doubt we’ll be able to move into a house immediately.” “Staying here will be alright,” Daring said lightly. “We don’t actually have a timeframe on when we have to be out, and with me here, it’s not likely to be a problem for awhile. Right!” She turned to the group once more, “any more questions?” Iron Forge raised a hoof. “How does one remove the chamber pots in our rooms, and where does one dump them?” Daring’s mouth moved like that of a goldfish for a moment as if tempted to say something, only she held her tongue. She took a deep breath and thought on what she would reply with. “You just… pull the lever on the back of the tank. That’ll empty it by sending your…. Waste into the sewer... systems...” Daring facehoofed at the conclusion of her explanation. “Daring, how about you continue with their language lesson on modern Equestria and I’ll run to the bank? I saw a First Equestria National last night, which is where I had my bits deposited.” Daring seemed to roll the idea over in her head before nodding. “That sounds like a solid idea. They won’t be able to give you the bits all at once though. Stop in and tell them you need a proof of funds for…” Daring stopped and held up both her hooves as she seemed to mentally calculate something. “Maybe a million and a half bits. Probably won’t cost that much but better to have it and not need it, right?” Utter silence befell the cadets and Fleetfeather as they stared first at Daring and then at Barrier. It took a bit, but finally Fleetfeather broke the silence.. “I was not aware thou… you had become so wealthy in our absence, Barrier. Well done.” Barrier snorted. “It’s not as much as it seems.” “Still pretty damn good. Plus, you’ll probably get paid pretty well once the princesses are able to get you your back pay.” Barrier looked over to Daring and tossed her a mischievous grin. “I bet Daring could tally it up for you while I’m gone. Well, have fun.” The unicorn ‘casually’ left the room in a hurry, just missing Daring’s groan. *** Barrier groaned as he nosed his way into Alfredo’s Diner. He had spent the last three hours at the bank, learning about and partaking in light investment of his spare funds. “No wonder she was so accepting of me leaving her with the cadets…” “Welcome back to Al’s Diner, Barrier.” Barriers ears swiveled in the direction of the familiar voice as Dark Roast made his way out of the back. “Anything I can get you before the day shift waiter gets in?” Barrier thought back to the previous night, and to the thestral’s name. “Strongest coffee you can make?” The stallion whistled, and nodded, turned on his hooves and trotted back towards the kitchen, responding as he went. “Sure thing. This stuff will keep you up for a day and change.” As the stallion disappeared into the back, his voice called out a bit louder. “Rough night?” Barrier let his head rest on the table he’d taken refuge at. “Rough morning. The bank is a pain in the flank.” Dark Roast chuckled. “I know that feeling. It’s so much worse if you’re nocturnal because you usually go in already exhausted. How do you take your coffee?” “Black,” Barrier responded, his head still on the table. “Alrighty.” Dark Roast’s voice became clearer as he departed the kitchen, carrying a mug of the darkest coffee Barrier had ever seen, blacker than a moonless midnight. “One Turbo Brew Special, nice and hot. Enjoy.” Dark Roast yawned after he deposited the mug on the table. “Marry me,” Barrier groaned out as he lifted his head upright and took a sip of the coffee. Roast chuckled and shook his head. “Sorry, but I’m married. That and you’re a little… masculine for my taste.” “Shame.” Barrier took another sip, groaning as the rush hit him. “If you ever need a paramour, I’m your pony.” He took a larger sip. “It’s so strange for me to think of two stallions marrying. Growing up, the closest they could get to marriage was sharing a herd, regardless of their preferences. It just wasn’t viable. We needed the number brought from more typical unions. No doubt Iron Forge will be ecstatic to learn of this. He could use something to be happy about.” Dark Roast shook his head again, in clear amusement. “I’ll keep that in mind, though I can’t help but wonder what you mean about marriage. I can’t remember a time when stallions couldn’t marry, and you look about my age…now that I think about it, those kids with you last night looked different as well. Just… something about how they carried themselves… well, that and the one mare had a sword on her.” “They’re from the pre-Nightmare Moon era.” Barrier explained in between further sips of the ambrosia the thestral had brewed him. “Did you hear about the Nightmare Moon incident a while back?” Dark Roast hesitantly nodded affirmation. “Yeah, it’s still strange to hear about what I always thought was an old ponies’ tale being real. It’ll certainly make Nightmare Night different.” “As asinine as it may sound, I was banished with her one-thousand years ago, and returned alongside her. The kids are from the same era, having recently returned as well. They and I were close, so it was only natural that I would take care of their integration into modern society. They’re currently trying to grasp a bit about how much just speaking has changed, not to mention knowing they no longer have to be armed and armored by dawn.” Dark Roast took a seat across from Barrier. “You were all royal guards?” “Aye. During the warring age, when Equestria was fighting with the Griffin Kingdom. They were all training to be soldiers when their entrapment happened. Ironically, I was the one training them, and now I have to try and convince them that everything I taught them is no longer necessary.” Dark Roast whistled again. “Sounds like you’ve got your work cut out for you.” Barrier finished the last of his coffee. “Most assuredly.” “Hm… I’m not exactly a history buff, but didn’t Equestria have a different system of writing back then?” “Aye,” Barrier confirmed. “It’s not too terrible to learn the new system with proper tutelage, but it’s far from enjoyable.” Barrier fished a hundred-bit piece out of his bag and slid it across the table as payment for the coffee. “Why not try some comic books?” Dark Roast made his way to the register with the bit. “They’re fairly easy to read, not too many pages, and the artwork would probably help them figure out the story. Let them connect the stories to the words a bit easier.” “That doesn’t sound like a bad idea. Though, I’m not quite certain where I would purchase comics. In all honesty I’ve not done a lot of reading since my own return. A bookstore or something I would guess?” Dark Roast held an assortment of bits out to Barrier, his change. “You could probably find them at a bookstore. The cornerstore up the road has some as well though. Lot closer than the nearest bookstore, for sure. Though if they find a story they like, the bookstore usually carries trade paperbacks.” “Thank you for your suggestions and assistance, Dark Roast.” Barrier pushed himself upright. “Keep the change. As a gratuity for the advice and the coffee.” Dark Roast grinned. “Thanks Barrier.” He waved as the unicorn headed towards the door. “Best of luck to you and your ponies!” “WHAT?” A voice called out from the back just as the door closed behind the unicorn. *** Barrier tilted his flask to his lips as he approached the small rack appropriately labeled ‘comics’ before it dawned on him that he’d yet to refill it. Glancing around the store, his eyes settled on a shelf and a small refrigerator. While not labeled, he recognized the bottles that resided on the shelves. A beige earth pony with a black mane poked his head out of the back of the store. “Welcome to Tracks’ Pit Stop, anything I can help you find?” “Mayhaps.” Barrier’s horn flared just slightly before the unicorn found himself curled up on the floor and swearing up a storm as the other pony stood over him worriedly. “M’fine,” Barrier groaned out, forestalling any question. “I’m just stupid.” Barrier rubbed his horn and hissed. “I keep forgetting it’s broken.” Fighting back the pain radiating throughout his head, he picked himself up. “I need a dozen or so random comics. Something for early readers if possible.” “Uh…” The pony hesitated, as he seemed to think. “Pony Rangers and Foaltron: Legendary Defender would probably work. We’ve got back-issues, so your kid could start from the beginning, if you’d like.” Barrier rubbed his horn again as the pain started to fade and he muttered to himself. “She is going to kick my ass when she finds out I tried to use magic…” Shaking his head, he nodded at the store clerk. “Those will be fine. I also need…” Barrier poked a head around to the booze and approached it, sidestepping the clerk. “Two fifths of Griffonstone brand whiskey, and…” Barrier glanced over the limited selection again. “Eh, make it four fifths.” Barrier ignored the worried look the clerk shot him as the pony made his way behind the counter and instead gathered up the four bottles in question and hobbled to the counter himself, carefully balancing the bottles on his back and a hoof. “Alrighty, your total comes to one-hundred and thirty-three bits,” the pony stated as he quickly rang the items up and bagged them with a dexterity Barrier was almost envious of. Sliding a pair of coins across the counter, Barrier took the bag in his mouth and, as soon as he received his change, started towards the door.