Houston, We're Coming Home

by EpicBG


Interview

It has been a hell of a month for Buzz, Mike, Neil, and Luna. Traveling around the entire world is extremely stressful for anybody – especially for a virtually immortal alicorn who had had no contact with anything for an unfathomable amount of time, and possesses century old communication and linguistics skills. Luckily, the time has come to return home to the United States after visiting the many people of the world. Luna was disappointed to see that she, in fact, looks similar to a horse after a short flight to a farm on the outskirts of Madrid, Spain. Luna found that when she tried to talk with one of the colts, he could not do anything but neigh and snort. She attempted to talk with a different horse, only to get her mane eagerly bitten. She pushed the horse away with a screen of magic and flew back to the hotel, disappointed, and with questions plaguing her mind.

After doing much research during the tour, she still could not see why, or how, they looked so similar. Her thoughts were that Equestrian Ponies and Earth Horses shared a common ancestor, as dictated by the theory of evolution, yet to her dismay, she found no solid proof. Today, the last day of the “Giant Leap” tour, was scheduled to end with an interview inside of the White House, followed by a large feast with the President.

Reluctantly, Neil, Buzz, Mike, and Luna take their seats (in that order, from left to right, to the eyes of the crowd under them) on the uncomfortable folding metal chairs while the crowd under them begins to shout questions at them. Luna taps on the microphone and covers her ears when it screeches at her. The crowd goes silent before Neil begins to speak. “Ladies and gentlemen, I am not one for interviews, however I too shall be here, open to questions like my friends. One question at a time, please.”

The crowd erupts with life until one man with a dark fedora on his head and a small notepad in his hand manages to step forward and shouts, “Mister Aldrin! What were you thinking when you first saw Luna come into the lander?”

Buzz bends forward to look past Mike towards his left at Luna, who is smiling eagerly at the crowd of people in wait. “I… thought that I was hallucinating. Neil and Mike here,” He places his hand on Neil’s shoulder with his right hand. ”Had been havin’ these weird dreams, for lack of a better word.” Neil and Mike silently nod their heads. “I just thought that I was going nutty like them. Next question.” The man with the fedora scratches down a shorthand version of what Buzz had said while melting back into the crowd.

Another man steps forward from the mob of people, and asks, “Mister Armstrong, do you plan on flying into space again?”

“No, I do not.”

A skinny man steps forward and asks, “Luna, how did you know Buzz was a human, or for that matter, what humans were?”

Luna raises her brow in confusion. “When did we call him a human? We have not uttered the word since we hast been inside that metal thing, if our memory is correct. Also, we are well read in the field of anthropology.”

“Likely story…” The small man says under his breath before the next volley of questions.

Over time, the questions gradually begin to grow weirder, all of them targeted towards Luna. “Question for Luna: did you ever celebrate your birthday with Skippy the Moon-rock?”

“Skippy the what?” Luna squeaks out, confused. She turns to her side, and is met with seeing the three astronauts shrugging. “Next question.” She hesitantly says.

“Do you have a massive fortress hidden on the dark side of the Moon” Luna rolls her eyes at yet another clearly stupid question, but answers it regardless.

“Sadly, no. We had taken refuge in the large craters.” Luna says without a moment of pause.

“Are you a communist?!” A man wearing a tin-foil hat shouts.

“Pray tell, what is a communist?”

A man bearing an incredibly disheveled appearance pushes the tin-foil hat wearing person out of his way and practically shouts, “Why are there stars in your mane? Is it a window into space, or... does it actually CONTAIN space? Is all of existence, life forms included, comprised of the strands of your hair? That's the "String Theory", right?”

“There are no stars in our mane, and it is most certainly not a portal to space. My mane does not contain space, nor is it capable of creating life, and we dost not know of this “String Theory” of which you speak.”

After answering the question, Luna brushes her hooves through her mane while thinking to herself about how weird Humans are.

A brave interviewer steps forward, clears his throat, and asks, “Is that alien a horse?”



Luna feels her eye twitch in rage. She extended her wings and flies the short distance between her and the ignorant questioner. “WE ART NOT A FILTHY EARTH HORSE, HOW DARE THEE COMPARE US TO ONE!” By now, Luna is hovering mere inches away from the man’s face. He’s shaking in fear. “AND WE ART NOT AN ALIEN, WE HAVE BEEN HERE BEFORE, LONG AGO!” With that, Luna flies away, crying, and the interview is over.

Neil sprints through the crowd, carelessly pushing people out of his way left and right. He follows closely behind Luna, watching as every time he turns, he sees her tail turn the corner down another corridor. Neil watches as a large, white door slams shut in front of him; he skids to a stop before running into it. He reaches his hand out to the knob, only to see it shrouded in Luna’s magical aura. When he grasps it, a jolt of what feels like electricity shocks his hand, and makes its way up his arm; Neil yelps in surprise and pain. “Luna, come on. He didn’t mean it, he’s just stupid!”

Silence.

“Don’t be like this. Being alone never helped anybody.”

Sob.

“C’mon, Luna. You know as well as I do that this is childish.”

Thud.

Hummm… bzzt.

Click.

“Fine.”

Luna is sitting on her bed curled up in a ball with the lights dimmed and the blinds closed – devoid of light entirely. The only thing that Neil can see is her beautiful eyes, and her horn’s glow softly fading into darkness. “Why are you humans so inconsiderate?” Luna asks between sobs. They say everybody, no matter how good they look, immediately turn ugly when they cry. Luna was the exception. She still retained her natural grace and beauty, even in her moments of sorrow. “We are sorry you have to see us like this, it’s just that –“

Neil pulls Luna into an embrace again says, “It’s alright. I know all about the research you did. I’m sorry.” Luna cries into the elbow of his expensive suit, but he couldn’t care less - he didn’t pay for it, anyways.

-----

Luna wakes up wrapped in Neil’s arms when a featureless man wearing a suit and sunglasses opens the door after knocking, and waiting for an entire minute. “Dinner is being served in the dining room, Luna… and Mister Armstrong…?” He says in a slightly confused tone before walking away. Luna’s muzzle turns a light shade of pink, but thanks to her dark coat, it’s hardly visible. Luna magicks Neil’s arm off from around her and pushes him on the shoulder.

“Neil, wake up.” Neil groans and sits up.

“What?” He asks. “Why am I – never mind, I heard. Let’s go, I’m hungry.” The hallways, though large, take no time to traverse, and Neil and Luna reach the dining room in a minute or two. The president and first lady are sitting next to each other on one side of the table, Mike and Buzz are on the other; Buzz is stuffing his face with a turkey leg, and shoveling in spoonfuls of mashed potatoes covered in gravy in his mouth between gasps of air. Mike is talking with the president about funding for future missions into space, and the first lady is sitting silently, poking her food around with a fork – she’s clearly bored out of her mind.

Luna takes a seat next to Mike, and Neil next to her. “Hello, everybody. Sorry we are late.” Buzz grunts in acknowledgement; Mike, as well as Mister Nixon, nod before continuing on with their important conversation. Luna uses her magic to pull the chair out enough for her to sit down, and is met with staring from the president, and his wife.

“What?”

-----

After a phone call to his wife, and from the USO, Neil orders a Taxi to come pick him up. The yellow car pulls up outside of the White House, its destination: the airport. Neil looks down at Luna and he brushes her mane away of her eyes and rests his palm on her shoulder. “Luna, take care of yourself. Can you promise you’ll do that for me?” She nods while tears roll down her cheeks. “I promise I’ll only be gone for a year, okay?” She reaches up and wraps her hooves around his neck.

“We will miss you, Neil.” Neil silently nods and lets go of Luna. He gets into the taxi, waves at her through the window, and watches as she grows smaller in the distance. Luna fights against her urge to fly after the taxi, but doesn’t. Instead, she turns around at the sound of footsteps and sees Mike.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

“Wanna see a movie?”

Luna shrugs. “C’mon, he’ll be back. I promise he’ll be okay, alright?” Luna nods. “Lets get going, standing here isn’t going to make it better, y’know.”

-----

Luna’s intrigued by the taste of ‘Popped Corn’, and confused as to how the giant screen works - far too much to focus on the movie. Mike seems to like it, but in no time at all, it’s over. Luna thanks Mike for taking her to the theater, and takes to the sky. “Hey, wait! Where are you even going?” Luna stops and begins lowering herself to the ground until her hooves clack against the concrete.

“We do not know.” She says, embarrassed.

“Wanna crash at my place for a little while?”

“Sure, why not.”

-----

Luna drags Mike out of his comfortable, warm bed, being careful not to wake up his wife, and brings him deep into the forest surrounding his home. “Where are we going? Luna, relax!” Luna lets up a little bit, but keeps moving. The trees quickly begin to thin out as the night sky becomes clearer above – acting as their only source of light. Luna finally lets go of Mike’s hand and he collapses against a tree, exhausted and gasping for air.

“We bid thee to watch us, we believe you shall enjoy this.” Luna says before closing her eyes and unfurling her wings. Her horn glows in her cyan aura before she jumps up into the air and pumps her wings. The moon was already high in the sky, yet it was alone – “it needs some friends”, Luna thinks. She focuses her energy into the dark canvas, which is splayed across the entire sky for her, and begins to envision stars. Beautiful masses of hydrogen and helium make themselves seen through the atmosphere, surrounding her moon in tiny white specs of light.

Luna nearly collapses when she lands to the ground, she’s panting for air, yet smiling. “It has been… far… too long… since… we have… done that.” She says between breaths of air. Mike sits with his back still against the tree, and his jaw to the ground.

“How?! D-did you just - no, no way? You just made stars!”