The air was crisp and cold as the sun set, I was in simple clean clothes. The wood dog, I decided to name Woodie, was lying on the ground eating some more “chicken.” He quickly looked up as I passed him but soon went to his meal. I scratched his head before getting on the bike propped on my ship. I had a small backpack on containing a my PDA, the environmental tester, and a Quick Eat Popcorn bag in my waistband was a pistol. As I started I heard a small voice whisper.
“Please adore me.” I stopped and looked around and saw nothing. I gazed up and saw the moon flash gold before going back to grey. I shake my head before continuing my journey to the Magic Pony Town as listed in the directions. It only took a bit to reach the edge of the forest but I was extremely tired. As I felt the hair on the back of my neck rise, I knew I was being watched. But I continued on because it felt right. Soon my bike’s tires hit stone and the ride was less bumpy, looking around I noticed the buildings looked medieval. Now if I remembered right the directions it said find a gingerbread house, I slowed down and looked around.
My eyes hit a building that was lit up in colorful lights, well the only building that had colorful lights on it. I grip the brake handle and stop ten feet away from the door. My foot hit the kickstand and I start to the front door but I stop to touch the wall. It felt like actual gingerbread, I really hope I'm not going to be eaten when I go in. I push the door open and am met with electronic music, smells of sweets and people talking. I step in and smash my head on the door frame.
“Fuck you too door!” I mumble as I rub my forehead while bent over. I stand back up and the top of my head into the door frame slams into the door. Learning from my pain I kick the door frame and bend my knees to walk in. As my pain left, kinda, I notice everyone has stopped talking. I look around and for once I notice that their eyes make up half of their head and that their pupils shrank to the size of an old world penny. “Ugh...hi.” They stare at me and I stare back until I see a pink rocket soar to me and knock me back out the door and onto the hard cobble road. I see stars as my head makes painful contact with the ground. I groan in pain as I sit up, I glare at the eyesore and see her hovering in joy. She grabs me and starts to drag me with surprising amount of strength. I can feel each individual stone and then floorboards as I was forcibly dragged. She grabs me under the armpits and stands me up. My left arm juts out to the nearest table so I could lean on it.
I gaze around and notice a five foot gap between me and the locals. I stand up shakily and ask a simple yet elegant question, “I thought this was a party? Why is no one having fun?” I could see their shoulders lower and let out a breath that they held in. I lick my lips and realize that hitting my head me thirsty for a drink. As I rise to my not impressive height of six foot I notice the locals barely go to my neck excluding the ones with horns of course. My hand reached for a cup of what looked like apple cider but I stop and realize I could die if I drink it. My arms go backwards and the pack slides off, gripping on of the straps in my hand I unzip it and grab the environmental tester. I grab a cup and reach out it in front the camera. My thumb hit the button with a cup on it and a green light came out to scan the drink. The light ends with text popping up with an end report of non toxic but a slight increase of salt, and that it was a style of apple cider. I take a drink and my taste buds were delighted to actually have something good for once. I eye sea foam green cupcakes with dark forest green frosting doing the same as I did with the cupcake but a red box shot up saying that if I consumed it my pancreas would go into overdrive and it would implode but was worded more sciency. I set it down and took five steps back. Taking another drink of the damn good cider I get dragged by the eyesore named Pinkie to meet and greet what the population calls themselves: Ponies.
A lot were surprisingly nice, but the eccentric sugary beast of energy pretty much screamed at me about meeting her BPFAOHFFEs or Best Pony Friends And One Human Friend Forever. Once again picked up by my armpits I was lifted over her head and marched to a booth in the corner. There sat five other females of the species and a male human. She sat me down and slid in next to me.
“Alexandy these are my BPFAOHFFES! BPFAOHFFES, Alexandy!”
“Um...hi.” I looked at them and they looked at me except for a purple one which was writing with a quill, a white one that was staring at my clothes, a blue one with rainbow hair just glared at me, a yellow one hid behind her hair, and the human was very different than I. His eyes were far larger than mine, his irises were an extreme neon blue, while his hair was darker than night, his nose more flat and closer to his face, and his teeth lacked canines. As our eyes locked I couldn't help but stare blankly, his face contorted to fear and then terror as I grinned wide. I could feel my lips parting, my pearly whites were shown off and the ponies visibly recoiled when they saw my teeth. Then he closed his eyes and hid his face in the fairly stubby arms of his. My smile disappeared and I asked them, “What’s wrong?”
The one that hid behind her hair whispered something. “Could you repeat that?”
“You have fangs…” I was confused until she continued, “which means you eat meat.” I stared at them for a moment and started lughing.
“So? You think I'll eat you?” The tannish one opened her mouth but I cut her off. “That is the stupidest thing I've heard in my life!”
The tan one opened her mouth, “Well a good time to apologize is also a good time to introduce our selves. My name is Applejack.”
Her hand jutted out in a fist bump while my hand enveloped hers for a handshake. The feeling of social cringe enveloped me as I let go and kept a straight face but inside I died. “Uh my name is Alexander Kovalyov.” The white one introduced me as Rarity, the purple one as Twilight, the yellow one as Fluttershy, the blue one as The Mare That’ll Kick Your Flank of I step out of line, and the human as Müller. After the little incident my life went better, I drank more and Rarity thanked me for helping her sister. Soon after Pinkie gave me a pepper that appeared to be a habanero pepper but neon blue. The environmental tester said that it was safe for consumption and that it shared DNA with habanero peppers of earth. I took a bite and was delighted by it, she looked surprised and worried. I said goodnight and started to go back to the ship for a day’s worth of sleep.
*Dream Alexander*
I was in space hovering watching civilizations die and grow while Earth was next to it. Some were insectoid some were lizards but they died while we prospered. A piano rang out that begged me to search while a voice manifested out, “The truth is out there.”