My Little Pony: Gag Reels Are Magic

by pabrony

Friendship is Forever

"What's with th' book, Twi?" Applejack asked as her and Flash walked into the waiting room.

"Well you see, Thunder Dash has been really really grumpy like Cranky Doodle Donkey but won't tell no one what's wrong so then she got became a real meanie head towards Fluttershy by pushing her up against a wall and now Twilight's gonna send a message to Sunset Shimmer so that she can use her mind reading magic to find out what happened to make Thunder Dash into a big meanie head," said Pinkie as she bounced through the door right behind her.

"An' jus' how in the hay do you know that? Y'all jus' got here," Applejack said skeptically.

"Well, duh, that's what the script says," Pinkie replied. "Plus I've been watching the production monitor whenever we were off camera. What?"

Applejack facehoofed at her friend's answer.

"Would anypony mind telling me why th' <censored> there's an attempt at humor during what's s'pposed ta be a serious scene?" Applejack questioned.

"What in th' hay is goin' on Sis?" Applebloom hissed. "Are ya tryin' ta wake th' 'ntire house up with yer shenanigans? T'day's th' openin' day of cider season an' th' last thing we need is fer y'all ta be hungover, 'specially since we got two stands this year."

Applejack replied with a huge grin. "Ah'm jist needin' a reason ta git sloshed."

There was a short pause where the sisters just stared at each other with goofy smiles on their faces.

"Ah'm sorry, sugarcube. Ah can't seem ta remember mah line," Applejack said as she scratched the back of her head.

Applebloom chuckled. "That blitzed already?"

"Nope. Th' <censored> that they got fer me ta drink is so <censored> weak that Ah'm already out an' barely have a buzz," Applejack complained.

"That's the strongest we could get on short notice," one of the producers shouted off screen.

"Short notice mah country <censored>," Applejack shouted back. "Me an' th' girls got th' script last year. Y'all had plenty o' time ta git th' good stuff."

"CUT!" shouted the director.

Rarity walked into the maternity ward of Ponyville General to visit her friend who had just become a mother for the first time last night. It was bittersweet visiting this ward of the hospital as she knew this was the only way she could be in the nursery. She entered the room and the first thing she noticed besides the twin colts, was her friend's mane which was more frazzled than usual.

"Pinkie Pie," said Rarity in her clarion voice, "what ever happened to your mane, darling? It's everywhere. More than normal I mean."

Pinkie looked in the mirror that was on the bed tray so she could see what Rarity meant.

"Oh yeah," Pinkie laughed, "I told makeup that it was too much but they wouldn't listen because they claimed it's how mares look after giving birth and I know that's a load of hooey because I remember what mom looked like after she had my younger sisters and her mane was a little crazy but nothing like this I mean come on somepony had to seen a mare post-birth at some point."

Rarity couldn't take it any longer and fell to the ground, laughing hysterically. She wasn't alone in her laughing fit as the camera crew laughed to the point of one of the cameras got knocked over.

"CUT!" shouted the director as she caught the camera with his magic just inches from it hitting the ground.

"What was wrong with that take?" Pinkie shouted back, causing everypony to laugh even harder.

"As many of you all know, 21 years ago we found out that I was sterile, which devastated both of us," Rarity announced to the crowd as she hoofed the mic off.

Lonely took the mic and continued, "Thanks to a verbal nudge from Pinkie Pie, Rarity and I are making a trip to the Canterlot Orphanage next month to adopt a unicorn filly."

Everypony in attendance began cheering and stomping their hooves on the floor. Upon seeing the reaction from the other ponies, Rarity started felt a feeling of happiness that she hadn't felt in years. As they left the stage, everypony was lining up to congratulate the couple.

"You would've thought we told them you were pregnant," Lonely laughed as they began dancing.

"Actually, I am," said Rarity with a large smile.

"CUT!" came from the now frantic director. "Rarity, please tell me that you're making a joke line for the archives."

Looking offstage, Rarity replied, "Ummm, maybe?"

"<censored>!" came from the direction of a now annoyed producer. "How the <censored> are we supposed to film a mare that's supposed be sterile when she's going to be bulging in a couple moons?"

"Rainbow Dash, I need a model for the diamond studded, gold dress for the Hall Of Fame show tonight," Rarity begged. "The coloring of your mane will just make it dazzle under the runway lights."

"No way!" Rainbow Dash replied, annoyed. "Besides there ain't a fashion show tonight anyhow."

"And just how do you know that?" Rarity said, raising her voice. "I have all the show dates memorized, especially the Fashion Hall Of Fame show. Considering this year I'm finally going to be inducted after 20 years..."

"CUT!"

"Now what?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Nothing you've done, Rainbow," the director replied. "Rarity got her line wrong... again. We've been over this. The line is 'after 40 years' not 20."

"So I have to be halfway in the grave before I get inducted into the Hall of Fame?" Rarity said as she approached the latest director to take over the filming. "Your predecessor would always let me ad-lib my lines to my liking as long as they still made sense.”

”But I'm not my predecessor, Rarity. Stick to the script so we can get this finished on time.”

“Why you… no good…” Rarity fumed. “Grrr… fine! Have it your way.”

"Now I see why so many directors have quit," groaned the director.

"Y'all mind if Ah address th' elephant in th' room?" Applejack asked with an uneasy smile.

"What elephant is that?" Pinkie said. "Oh that's right. I was supposed to bring one for this scene wasn't I? Oh well. I'll have to make do with this."

Pinkie pulled something gray out of her mane along with a bicycle pump and began pumping air into the the object.

"What's that?" asked Fluttershy.

"You'll see," Pinkie said with a smile as she continued pumping air.

"Pinkie, is that-?" Twilight said, looking at her friend.

Another couple minutes passed and Pinkie finished pumping air into the inflatable animal.

"You can address the elephant now, Applejack," Pinkie said. "I can't guarantee it’ll answer you though."

"Ugh, CUT!"

"Thank you so much everypony," Fluttershy said as she hugged Spirit. "I love everything you've done. I was so worried about how much of burden I thought I would be that I completely forgot how far you would go to help me have some independence. Scratchie, Do you think you could help me to my new chair?"

"Sure thing. Hop on," Vinyl said as she knelt down in front of Fluttershy so that she could lean over onto the unicorn's back. Vinyl gently carried her from the manual chair to the power chair. Vinyl then lit her horn to steady Fluttershy as she set her into the new wheelchair.

"Wow. Y'all look ya did b'fore," Applejack said to the couple with a smile.

"Actually we do," Fluttershy replied. "Scratchie does it this way for me because it doesn't make me feel helpless like it would if she moved me with her magic."

"Not that as much as we used to though," Vinyl said. "Doing all these takes with Fluttershy in a wheelchair has made her put on some weight."

"I beg your pardon!" Fluttershy shouted uncharacteristically. "I'm only in this thing when we're shooting scenes. That's it."

"Do I have to say it?!" the latest director asked.

"Keep it rolling," Vinyl said with a grin. "This is good stuff. Plus we haven't gotten to the line mentioning about how Tavi walked in on me and Fluttershy <censored> in the bedroom."

"Wait! Where's that line at?"

With that, everypony on set began laughing like hyenas.

"I am not going!" said Fluttershy in louder tone than normal. "I've been doing this for almost a year, Scratchie. It just isn't working."

Vinyl Scratch looked at her paraplegic marefriend and just sighed. Fluttershy needed to go to her physical therapy appointments to try to build strength in her wings and hind legs, even if she's not able to use them again.

"I know you feel like it ain't working but it's for your own good, critter lover." Vinyl responded calmly.

"The only thing I've been able to do is learn how to drag my butt across a glorified yoga mat!" Fluttershy shouted in frustration. "I can never fly again, nor will I be able to walk. So what. Is. The. Point?!"

After taking a deep breath Vinyl responded, "You learned a better way to deal with an itch on your <censored>."

Fluttershy couldn't help but to break character at Vinyl's comment. "I can't believe you just said that," Fluttershy said as she attempted to hold back her laughter.

"Between you and Pinkie Pie, this thing is never going to be finished, Vinyl," the producer moaned.

"Well, we had to make excuses as to why we couldn't attend the 'After-Birthday' Party for Gummy," Rarity said. "Twilight told her she had to study, Applejack said she had to pick apples, our heroic pegasi claimed they had to cave-sit for a bear and I, *gulp*, I had to do the most revolting thing in Equestria."

"And what might that have been?" Cheese pried.

"Do I really have to say this line?" Rarity asked the director. "My stomach is already churning from thinking about it."

"Good. It'll make the vomit scene more realistic," the director replied.

"You seriously aren't going to film me..." Rarity said before she covered her muzzle with one of her hooves and ran to the nearest garbage can to empty her stomach contents.

"Oh no," Fluttershy whined. "I can't be around somepony throwing... be right back."

"Anypony else have to be sick before we restart the scene?"

"How was your nap?" he asked as he gave Pinkie a nuzzle on the cheek.

"It could've been better if the foal would've taken a nap too," she chuckled. "I can't wait for D-day though. My hooves are killing me, I gotta use the bathroom all the time, I'm the size of a buffalo and all these naps are keeping me from planning super awesome parties."

Cheese just smiled as he grabbed a sandwich off of Pinkie's plate, earning him a death stare.

"This is your freebie for the week," Pinkie growled. "Do. Not. Take. My. Sandwiches. I need these."

"Well don't take too long. You have your doctor's appointment in a little bit," Cheese reminded her.

Pinkie paused a moment before swallowing half the sandwiches in one gulp which was followed by a loud belch that could be heard outside.

"Such manners," Cheese commented.

"Listen. We're filming this while I'm ten moons pregnant. I'll have whatever manners I feel like," Pinkie grumbled. "Besides who's brilliant idea was it film a pregnant, moody, hormonal mare this close to the end of her term?"

"That would be mine," the executive producer admitted.

"Remind me to shove a trick candle up his <censored> after I give birth," Pinkie said.

Pinkie Pie laid in the bright pink coffin with burn marks painted on her right side of her face, simulating where a party cannon had hit her with a errant blast. She listened to Twilight giving the opening statements to the funeral scene.

Time to have one last prank on the director, Pinkie thought mischievously.

Just as Twilight was about to deliver her final line, Pinkie opened her eyes, sat straight up, set off a mini party cannon she had hidden in her mane and shouted, “SURPRISE!”

"Seriously?!" the director shouted as all the ponies on set erupted into laughter.

"Sorry," Pinkie Pie sing-songed as the director cringed. “I just had to do it.”