//------------------------------// // Ch. 3: Refresh My Memory // Story: There is an I in Generosity // by TundraStanza //------------------------------// Chapter 3: Refresh My Memory --- I was released from the hospital on the morning of the next day. I daresay that my reflection is more fabulous than the dream that wasn't a dream started, I thought as I passed one of the hanging mirrors. I stopped in place as I realized what I had just thought. Oh, no! I'm starting to think like her! This is bad. This is very, very bad. It might be THE. WORST. POSSIBLE, I stamped my white hoof to stop that thought before I could finish, No, no, no! I cannot be Rarity, not at all. I have to hang on to something that's me. Offhand, I remembered a little practice that Katniss Everdeen used when her state of mind was on the verge of collapse. Start with simple truths and then work up to the more complex truths. I am a male. I am a human. I am over twenty years old. My name is... But where I had been able to easily fill one blank before, I suddenly found myself with an empty void. My... my name is... my name... is... my name. What's my name? Try as I might, I couldn't recall my own name. I knew my parents gave one. I remembered signing papers with it every day. So why was it so hard to conjure up now? It's as if a wedge has formed between my cranial cells and the nerve impulses that retrieve that information. My pace slowed a bit as I blinked at my most recent thought. Okay, that was a bit verbose, I thought, If nothing else, it at least reminds me that my personality as a human was more like Twilight than it was like Rarity. I guess that's a plus. With the scores of my thoughts good: 1, bad: a lot more, I finally found the exit which graciously slid itself open for me. I can't solve this ordeal on my own, I decided as I walked, If Sweetie Belle won't believe me, than I must find some pony that will. Again, I paused at the words in my most recent thought. I really hope that my use of "some pony" is just a sign of me turning into a brony and not a sign of turning into Rarity. --- The one that most ponies in the show went to when they had a problem, conundrum, or otherwise unanswerable question was Twilight Sparkle. It was only the most logical choice. When Princess Celestia was miles away up a mountain, the closest fountain of knowledge could be found in Ponyville's own librarian and master of magic. Even if she didn't have a direct solution, one could at least hope for a nudge in a general direction. Regardless if that first direction was right or not, it was a start. Regardless if Equestria was a land of television or an author's playground, nothing was ever as easy as it sounded. "Um, Rarity?" Case in point was the quiet voice that interrupted my quest for answers. "Yes?" I replied. It may have been a bit too loud, because the familiar yellow and pink Pegasus let out an audible "eep" at my outburst. "Um, I'm sorry," apologized Fluttershy, "I know you're just getting out of the hospital, but... um." Oh sweet Celestia, Fluttershy knows I can't resist the adorable face, I thought before immediately berating myself, Wait, no. Fluttershy knows that Rarity can't let her down. She doesn't have a clue who I am. But the pile of adorableness quickly dissolved any of my previous plans I had right then and there. "Fluttershy, darling," I said involuntarily dressing up my words, "It's quite all right. Just tell me what it is." "Um, well," she resumed, "Today is Friday and I was wondering if, um... you were still all right with our usual get together." "Our usual get together?" I echoed before a flashback of an old episode came to my mind, "Oh! Yes, of course! The spa, correct?" "But, um," continued Fluttershy, "If you need to reschedule that's okay, I mean if you need to." Anyone with half a brain could tell that she was hoping a rescheduling wasn't necessary. My journey to Twilight could wait for all the time in the world if Fluttershy would be happy. "Nonsense," I insisted, "We can still make it today." "Oh, that's wonderful," she perked up before immediately resuming her downward gaze, "I mean, as long as it's okay." "Not another word," I interrupted, "I won't take no for an answer." For Fluttershy's sake, I thought, I shall willingly play the role of Rarity for as long as needed. --- Ahhh, I mentally sighed, It's like they're dissolving all my troubles away. Timmy Turner knew what he was talking about. This exquisite treatment felt heavenly. Why had I never gone in for something like this before? Oh... right... I forgot... I never had enough money for this. It almost made me feel guilty for spending what wasn't really mine. I tried arguing internally that Rarity goes out for this sort of thing on a regular basis. Still, the pang of guilt leaned against my heart in the real Rarity's absence. --- "See you next week?" asked the world champion of quietness. "Of course," I answered automatically. Now, which way is the library from here? I asked myself. "Just take a right and go straight ahead until you see a giant tree with balconies and windows. You can't miss it." "Oh, thank you," I said before halting with eyes wide open. I looked around and realized that the voice had come from absolutely no pony nearby. "Okay, great," I muttered, "Now I'm hearing things." Nevertheless, I followed the mystery voice's advice and followed the long, straight road. It was right. No pony could miss a tree that tall and out of place in the midst of houses. It could really use some sprucing up, I thought on tangent, Maybe a bit of trimming and lace... gah! No! No detail clenching. Talk to Twilight and figure out how to get home. I was becoming more like Rarity with each passing moment. I had to act fast. I had no idea how much time I had left before I could fix this... whatever this was. It wasn't too hard using Rarity's magic again. Just think about something within an arm's length moving and it moves. Think about turning a door knob and it turns. The door opening happened automatically. This was going to be a really hard habit to break from when I got back to my own life, but them was the breaks. "Hello!" I called almost in a singing tone, "Any pony home?" "Rarity, come on in," replied a familiar voice in the poorly lit room, "We've been expecting you." "We?" I echoed as I slowly walked inside, "As in more than just you, Twilight?" The door suddenly slammed behind me in a vibrant magenta glow. "Now!" yelled Twilight in the darkness. I couldn't see a thing, but I could certainly feel a bunch of different nudges. "What's going on?" I asked, "What are you-? Ow! Don't touch there! What is the meaning of-? Ergh! That's too tight!" A single lamp turned on and blinded me. When I was finally able to squint and look around, I could see that I was fastened tightly to a fold-up chair. Ropes bound all four of my hooves. Struggling only seemed to make the knots hold tighter. "What in Equestria is going on here?" I asked. The six friends of Rarity stood around all staring with various degrees of emotion. Spike and Fluttershy looked apologetic. Applejack and Rainbow Dash held expressions of determination. Twilight Sparkle looked concerned yet serious. Pinkie Pie looked like she was having way too much fun with this. Yeah... I wasn't even going to try to understand her. "Untie me this instant!" I demanded. "Not until we're sure that you're not going to try offing yourself again!" retorted Rainbow flying in front of my face. She only backed away slightly as Twilight stepped forward. "Rarity," said the librarian calmly, "I don't know what's going on in your mind right now, but I'm going to try and help sort it out." As she came closer, her horn started to glow in a slightly paler glow than normal. I opened my eyes wide. I recognized that spell that she was about to cast. I've already forgotten my name, I thought while starting to panic, I can't lose more of myself in a flood of Rarity's memories! "Wait, Twilight!" I cried. But it was too late. Her horn was already touching my forehead. My sight was overrun by images of the past. --- "How do I put this delicately?" I wondered before telling Spike outright, "You smell like a rotten apple core that's been wrapped in moldy hay and dipped in... dragon perspiration." He seemed to float on some disturbing-looking hearts while staring at me. So I had to gently nudge him to get going. --- "Is it..." said Applejack struggling to think of something, "a six-legged pony with a purple polka-dotted mane and shooting stars coming out of his eyes? "...who flies through the air all over the world to hide magic, sparkling eggs?" I finished. There was an awkward pause. "That's it!" exclaimed Twilight. "It is?" Applejack and I said together. "No," chuckled Twilight, "It's that." She pointed up to... a telescope. Really, a telescope? How would any pony guess that? --- "Oh thank you, Rainbow Dash," I said safely in the grasp of two Pegasi, "You saved my life." "Oh yeah," realized Rainbow, "I did that too. Ha! Best day EVER!" --- "How about a medium amount of dirty, not too little, not too much, just right?" asked Spike. "Deal!" said Sweetie Belle and I together. --- I had to catch them. I could not let my precious creations go to waste. But they were falling to the floor so quickly and I was running out of limbs to hold all of them. "Rarity!" With a reluctant sigh, I gave in to the call of my friends. I tore my own masterpiece off and followed after them. I just barely heard that changeling laugh as we left the reception hall. --- Twilight... with that mane-style... I LOVED it! I think Spikey-wikey appreciated it as well. --- "I have to tell you something!" shouted Spike, "Just in case we don't make it. I've always really l-!" I stopped him with my hoof before he could finish. I already knew and I couldn't help shedding a tear and a smile despite our rapid descent. --- "Now," I said turning around, "How can I help you? Wah ha ha!" Good heavens! Was that a rabies-ridden poodle trying to devour this pony's head? "Oh my stars, darling!" I exclaimed, "Whatever happened to your coiffure?!" "Oh, you mean my mane?" asked the newcomer, "It's a long story. I'm just here to check on the decorations and then I'll be out of your hair?" "Out of my hair?" I echoed disbelievingly, "What about your hair?!" This was a beautification emergency! Without waiting for a word of protest, I nudged her in the direction of my boutique. "Wait!" she cried, "Where are we going? Help!" --- "We've been B.F.F.s forever and we didn't even know it," I realized. "Hey," said Fluttershy, "How about a song?" The rest of us agreed wholeheartedly, save for one filly. "NOOOOOOOOOOO!" --- I hung there limply for a while. I didn't really register a certain magical force untying the knots and loosening my proximity with the chair. So many thoughts swam through my head. So many images, so many memories, so many of her memories. I didn't know what to believe anymore. I knew these weren't my memories. I knew that. So why did they feel so... right? "Rarity?" asked a voice. But the walls begun spinning at an angle that made me lose any sense of balance. Strange, I've never been able to faint on command before, was my last thought before darkness took my vision away.