//------------------------------// // Of Tours and Tribulations // Story: Retired to Equestria // by Yet Another Mask //------------------------------// Gilda was silent as she surveyed the scene before her. She wasn’t close enough to call attention to herself from her perch on a nearby building, but was close enough to get a good idea of what was going on. She had gotten used to finding strange things waiting for her when she got off work. Carnivorous semi-sentient plants, two story tall behemoths with more eyes than a creature has any right to, and one time she could have sworn she saw Damien wearing a dress. She had gotten used to seeing Damien do weird stuff. Seeing him somehow manage to rope some ponies into it, especially one as level headed as Sparkle? That was new. There was something off about the blue unicorn too; something about him didn’t seem very pony. It took her nearly a minute to figure it out, because it was something she would have never expected from a pony: He stood like a predator. Even the bravest ponies, sorry Dash, had a sort of tension to them. A desire to be with the herd and always ready in case something went wrong. Sparkle had said that was a call back to when ponies were just dumb prey animals and it had never really gone away. This guy stood there with, not quite the same, but a similar confidence to what she normally saw in griffins and diamond dogs. There was the relaxed power in his stance that said he was the predator, not the prey. Add in how the guy was constantly glaring at Damien…. She rolled her eyes and glared at Damien herself, not surprised in the least when he waved nonchalantly at her. Seeing no other options available to her, the unicorn was starting to look around to see what had prompted Damien’s wave, she spread her wings and leapt from her perch. “Gilda! So glad you could join us!” Damien said with a smile. “Yeah, yeah. What’d you do this time freak?” she asked as she landed next to Twilight. “Got a new boarder! Fresh from my world and likely still willing to slip a knife between my ribs if he gets the chance.” Even while saying this, his smile didn’t shift an inch. Deciding it was better to ignore Damien than give him the satisfaction of asking the question he knew was on her mind, she turned to the blue unicorn. “You’re from the same place as the freak?” she asked brusquely. “Yes,” Gallus replied, somewhat taken aback by Gilda’s attitude. His surprise was quickly overcome as he remembered his manners. “I am Gallus Blueflame. I take it you are Damien’s other boarder.” If Gilda had noticed the question in his tone she gave no indication of it. She instead chose to look him over again. “No cutie mark?” Confusion crossed Gallus’s face as he turned to Lyra and Twilight for an explanation. “Cutie marks are the pictures on our flanks,” Twilight said as she nodded to her own. “It symbolizes what our special talent is. Stallions generally call them emblems since cutie mark doesn’t sound very tough.” “They also might act as amplifiers for said talents, allowing a pony with little to no knowledge of the talent their mark represents to be able to act as a master of that discipline,” Damien added. “However I haven’t been able to confirm this since every parent in the town has expressly forbidden their children from taking part in the experiments I have planned.” His eyes brightened suddenly. “I don’t suppose you’d be willing to let me give you the cutie pox and record the results. I have the cure ready and everything.” “Damien. No,” Twilight said firmly. “But think of the applications! If your little marks can artificially boost one’s skill in the areas related to the mark, then they have nigh limitless potential! Imagine if we were able to create specific strains of the cutie pox virus that would temporarily give a particular talent to an individual. You could create a temporary work force for any job in the blink of an eye and they would be as skilled as though they had been doing that work for years!” His eyes gleamed. “And imagine if we could create stable versions of the virus that would permanently give only a single talent! Instantaneous mastery of whatever you could desire!” “No.” Damien opened his beak once more but instead sighed and started grumbling about how little respect ponies had for advancing the sum of arcane knowledge. Gallus looked down at his flank and back at Twilight. “How do ponies usually get these marks?” “Usually by doing something that they’re good at, although sometimes it’s more of a personal revelation when something momentous happens to them.” Gallus nodded and put down a mental note to not eat anything Damien prepared until he got one of those emblems of his own. “You might not want to go by Gallus when you’re talking to ponies,” Gilda suddenly said. When he turned a questioning look towards her she continued, “Most ponies have names based around stuff. Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle. Gallus is more of a griffon name. Goin’ by Blueflame’d make you stand out less.” “I must say I’m surprised that you of all people are helping him out with this,” Damien observed. “He doesn’t like you right?” Damien nodded. “That’s reason enough for me.” She turned towards Twilight. “You wanna help me show him around town?” “Sorry, I’ve already gone really far off schedule, and I’ll need to shorten my lunch and dinner breaks already if I want to get my full study session in today.” An apologetic smile crossed her face. “I have some free time tomorrow if you want my help then though.” “Sure, I doubt I’ll be able to teach this guy enough to keep him safe from Damien in one day anyway.” As Twilight trotted away Lyra chose to speak up. “So I take it that means that you’ll be staying here for your acclimation training?” Gallus nodded. “And Damien will be responsible for reopening the portal to your home?” Gallus winced but nodded once more. Lyra gave him a sympathetic look. “If you ever need anything just stop by Sweet Treats. Bon Bon is part of the same group as me and we both live over her shop.” She looked over at Gilda who nodded in silent affirmation, confirming that she knew where the shop was. Lyra tilted her head in a slight bow and walked off; leaving Gallus in the care of two griffons whose ability to assist others was sketchy at best. “Well I guess we should get started on your tour then,” Gilda said as she stretched her wings. “After some breakfast though,” she amended as her stomach began to protest leaving location with a fully stocked kitchen. Gallus glanced at the still grumbling Damien with a hint of trepidation but followed Gilda into the house anyway. Given what he had committed himself to he would have to enter the building anyway, and he might as well get it over with sooner rather than later. Besides, with Damien distracted that would probably decrease the chances of something going wrong. “You gonna want anything?” Gilda asked as they entered the kitchen. “No, I’ll be fine.” Gallus looked on in silence as he watched Gilda prepare a meal for herself. A simple lightly seasoned grilled cony. Even though he could see Damien’s influence on the kitchen he had to give the usurper some grudging respect. The intricacies and functionality of the enchantments and readied spells in the room was fascinating. His mind was quickly drawn to Gilda’s meal as the smell of cooked rabbit filled the air. He still wasn’t hungry but the griffon’s meal smelled good enough to tempt a bite. “Mind if I try some of that?” Gilda blinked in confusion and looked down at her meal. “You want some of this?” “Yes. I’ve been living on travel rations for the last three months, filling but bland. Of course it’s fine if you don’t want to share.” Gilda shook her head and smirked. “Right, you used to be one of those ape things right?” “A human?” “Yeah! Those freaks!” She laughed. “You can’t eat meat anymore. It’s not pretty when a pony tries eating meat, trust me on this one.” Gallus raised an eyebrow. “You can’t be serious.” Gilda laughed again and speared a piece of meat with a talon. “Don’t believe me?” she asked as she held out the piece of meat. Gallus sighed and moved forward, biting the meat from her claw. “You were supposed to grab it with your horn!” Gilda yelped as she hastily retracted her talon. At Gallus’s blank stare she continued. “With that weird teleki-thing you unicorns can do with your horn.” His eyes traveled up to regard the horn spiraling out from his head. He shrugged and focused on it. Surprise lined his face as a nearby plate was enveloped in a bright blue aura and floated several inches from the counter it was sitting on. “You didn’t know you could do that?” “I’ve only been a unicorn for a few hours. I spent that time making sure I could use combat magic and learning how to properly move with this body. I didn’t have anyone to-” His eyes widened as a tremor shook his body. Gilda blinked once before her eyes widened in comprehension. Without warning her wings flared open and she shot towards Gallus. Her forelimbs wrapped around him and another powerful flap of her wings lifted them both into the air. The part of Gallus that wasn’t trying to figure out what was going on marveled at how fast the griffon was able to carry him through the halls without running into anything. Before he knew it his face was being shoved into some strange porcelain object he had never seen before. “What are you-” he stopped talking as he felt another shudder shake his body and his stomach cramped in pain. Gilda looked on with a chuckle as Gallus’s body violently rejected the meat he had eaten, leaving him shivering on the floor. “Was it worth it?” “What-” He flinched as his stomach rebelled against him again. “And that’s what happens when a pony tries to eat meat.” She grinned as she flushed the toilet. “Hate… everything… so much,” Gallus gasped. “You alright?” she asked after a few minutes. “Better,” he replied as he made his way to his hooves. “That happens whenever a pony tries to eat meat?” “Yep. It’s a lot less entertaining when the pony eating meat throws up all over you instead of into a toilet,” she added with a grimace. “Right…” He cast a pained look towards her. “I didn’t expect you to be so helpful.” Gilda tossed her head with a snort before responding. “Just tryin’ to be a little nicer,” she grumbled to herself. When Gallus looked at her with a frown she shook her head. “You ready for your tour?” “Yeah, I think so,” he said as he focused on steadying his shaking knees. “What about your meal?” “Already almost finished, only got a few bites left. Come on.” Steeling himself once more Gallus followed Gilda out of the room, a queasy look still obvious on his face. <=[XXXXX]=> As Gilda had said, her meal only took a few seconds to finish. She suggested that Gallus try to eat something, but he was still far too sick from his earlier attempts at eating to contemplate even a light snack. The tour of the town was, true to what little of Gilda’s nature he had been able to discern, focused on things that she felt might be useful. She would often skip over large sections of the town because they were deemed to be dull. Although largely uninformative it did prepare him for his stay here, if only a little. That and being seen around town with another resident, surly though she may be, helped him start conversations with many of the ponies they met along the way; although he couldn’t help but be amused by the fact that a good deal of them were curious as to whether Gilda had finally managed to find a stallion that could she could stand enough to start a relationship. Most of these encounters ended with Gilda slightly flushed and muttering contrite thanks that they had managed to convince Damien to stay back at the house. There was no way he would have ever let either of them live those moments down. Of course even with Damien not being present to cause trouble, it seemed that the universe was more than willing to take up the slack. Gallus’s almost enjoyable tour was brought to a sudden end when a shocked shout split the air. Instincts sharpened by two years of service as Arkus’s chosen made him spin around to the source of the shout the moment he heard it. Surprise quickly gave way to confusion as he saw a trio of fillies staring at him in abject horror, one of them pointing a quivering yellow hoof at his flank. “Why don’t ya have a cutie mark!?” the small yellow filly screamed, drawing the attention of several other ponies. “Rarity said that everypony gets a cutie mark when they grow up! What if she’s wrong? What if we never get a cutie mark?” a white unicorn filly lamented as tears began to appear in her eyes. Seeing the brewing tension Gallus galloped over to the fillies and began to try and console them. “You mean my… uh… emblem right? I… uh…” His eyes darted back and forth until they settled on Gilda. “I used to be griffon!” he blurted out. The three fillies stared at him in shock, but seemed to calm down slightly. “And emblems are only gotten when you… realize your talent or use it a lot and have fun with it right? You can’t get one with magic, so when I was turned into a unicorn they couldn’t give me a mark!” A mad desperation glinted in his eyes as he prayed harder than he ever had before that the little fillies in front of him would buy his ruse. “Why would you want to be a unicorn if you were a griffon? Why not become a pegasus so you could still fly around and be awesome and stuff?” the orange one demanded. Damn it! Gallus’s mind kicked into overdrive as he tried to figure out what sort of answer the angry looking filly would accept. “My… wings never worked… and I always wanted to know… what it was like to use magic.” “But Damien uses magic all the time and he’s a griffon,” the white one pointed out. “Damien is a cheater and a sneak,” Gallus grumbled, not having to fake his tone for the first time since starting his conversation with the foals. Far too late he caught himself and began to worry whether or not he had said the right thing. Relief surged through him as he saw the three fillies nod solemnly. Apparently they had dealt with the usurper before. As one the fillies seemed to come up with, given the looks on their faces, an amazing idea. “You could try an’ get your cutie mark with us!” the yellow one exclaimed. “You probably have all sorts of ideas that we wouldn’t think of!” the white one added. “And you could help us rent all sorts of cool stuff the adults won’t let us usually have!” the orange one said with a manic grin. Although that last statement slightly unnerved him, Gallus did his best to smile. “Okay… I’m sure it’ll be fun. Do you want to come with us Gil…da?” He looked around in confusion as he tried to spot his griffon tour guide. He was about to give up when he saw a small figure flying as fast as it could away from them. “You girls wouldn’t happen to have a history with Gilda would you?” “What? No!” “Well there was that one time with the avalanche.” “And we kinda dropped that bee hive on her head… She didn’t get stung though!” “But other than that nothing!” “Except the thing with the fish.” “Oh! And the bit where we almost ran her over on my scooter.” Gallus’s eye twitched slightly as he began to truly understand what he had just agreed to. Perhaps having Damien along wouldn’t have been so bad an alternative after all. <=[XXXXX]=> As Gallus was slowly digging himself into trouble, Damien was idly eying the trap door in his pantry. Four sides to the trap door, with four handles of four colors. The silver one led to the basement and food storage. Gold led to his personal laboratory and was enchanted so that only he could use it. Obsidian led to a small hatch in the Canterlot castle gardens close to a certain statue. Jade? Jade didn’t lead anywhere quite yet. Of course that wasn't due to any lack of effort on his part. His eyes filled with darkness and the physical world seemed to drop out from around him. Instead of walls, floors, and ceilings there were lines upon lines of glowing runes. Dozens of ribbons of scrolling runes hung in the air like so many spider webs. And the trapdoor? It was a storm of circling patterns and intricately overlapping runes. A few casual waves of his hand dimmed all but one incredibly large set of runes centered around where the jade handle was. As was customary he read out every single line of the runes, carefully checking each one for the slightest error or sign of deterioration. As usual he found nothing wrong, but he hadn’t gotten to where he was by taking needless risks. A quick twist of his claw and a sharp click echoed around the small room as the door behind him locked itself. A number of other gestures brought powerful shields and wards into existence around him, the door, and his work area in general. He reached into his satchel and pulled out several gemstones, all twinkling with a dark light. The lights flared as he took a deep breath and pulled the power out of the stones and forced it into his talons. Today he had been planning on solving the power issue. Hopefully making the jade handle run on the natural energies of Equestria and the excess magical energy that the ponies put out all the time. He would still only be able to actually open the jade door once a week or so but for his purposes that was likely more than enough. His last thought before his mind descended into the timeless fog where he did his best work was of Gallus, and how angry the poor hero was going to be when he finally got around to finding out that Damien already had an almost functional door back to their home world just lying around the house.