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// I'm Screwed 
// Story: The Life of an Equestrian Royal Guard 
// by Midnight Terror 
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Let me be completely honest with myself here, I never really wanted to be one of those stallions who kept a diary of their life. Writing down every little bit of emotional drama down in a book or something just so some random person could find it someday and feel pity for me. It all just seems kinda, pointless. And now that I think about it, what kind of stallion keeps a journal anyways?!?! The only real reason that I'm actually going along with this is because my therapist forced me into it. She says its suppose to be beneficial for the spirt and all that other spiritual shit. What an asshole.  

This is just making me feel more like an idiot!! But since I've already proven the point that I've got a screw loose, I might as well go along with it. For now, all I can say is that I've got regrets, and plenty of them!!! For the past few years I've been working as a royal guard in charge of the night patrols around the castle. I wander the seemingly almost endless hallways of the castle, at NIGHT!!! Let me just establish the point that I'm not a unicorn, so I can't do that flashy glowy thingy with a horn. I've been advised to carry a flashlight in my mouth but in my opinion that's just barbaric. So if somepony asks me about my "impressive" profession, I get to talk about how I wander through the dark, clueless and cold, because Celestia so help me it is freezing in there. 

To make matters worse, every Heartswarming Eve my family invites me to have a family dinner at my brother's HUMONGOUS mansion where he likes to brag about how much better his job is compared to mine. I remember back when we were fillies, he use to win just about everything. Science fairs, spelling bees, mathlete competitions. He won everything, including all the love and affection from our parents. Though there was one thing he couldn't do, and that was throw a ball. No matter how hard he tried he just couldn't throw a ball right, and sometimes the other foals made fun of him. That was until I stood up for him and taught those naughty fillies a lesson, hehehe I didn't think  they would ever be able to walk again. After I kicked the other foals to the curb my brother gave me a big old hug.... AND THEN HE SHOVED ME INTO A PUDDLE OF MUD!!!! THE LITTLE BRAT LAUGHED AND LAUGHED. The foals that had been mocking him started to laugh with him as they all became best friends or something. That was the day I learned to never trust my brother. And get this, I have to deal with that little son of a bitch every Heartswarming Eve. He can go on and on about how "successful" he is and how much money he has.  

He makes my job look like a joke. Ya know, maybe this year I can finally show him up with the one thing he doesn't have, a special somepony!!! Now that I think about this there was this one mare that gave me quite the glance on my first day on duty. And yes I did just laugh a little as I wrote that last sentence down. Hehe "duty". I'm not very good with names but in this case you know I was listening when I heard her friend call her Shadow Rain. It's got a nice ring to it don't ya think?? Well I guess I'm gonna end up writing in this little piece of shit more often then. Be warned though, if your reading this then your in for lots of cussing, action, and me doing a bunch of stupid things after I hit the bar. You could certainly call me an interesting character, some might even call be bad, but ya know what, I like to think of myself as viewing the world from a different perspective, or that might just be the booze talking. Either way, I can tell that this isn't going to end well. Ehhhh, just screw this.

------ Silver Shield