The Hater
Friendship is magic? I laugh up my sleeve,
Smirking as colorful ponies achieve
Colorful goals against colorful odds,
Vanquish the villains, the grouches, the frauds,
And all with a song and a French weave.
Fantasy worlds by their nature deceive,
Coddle the simple, and soothe the naive.
Still, I'm enchanted like one of those clods.
Friendship is magic?
Frowning, I fidget, refuse to believe,
Smother my feelings so dead, I can't grieve.
Never embrace it with grins or with nods!
Glare at 'em! Stifle 'em! Call 'em jerkwads!
I watch it alone: it's my pet peeve.
Friendship is magic...
The Convert
Friendship is magic, I heard them announce.
Sneering and cynical, ready to pounce,
Grabbed me a place at the head of the line.
Caught it on YouTube and thought it was fine,
Confirming the need for some recounts.
Want to ignore it, but evidence mounts.
Outrage deserts me: I can't even flounce!
Somehow it haunts me, all soft and benign:
Friendship is magic!
Lately I've noticed I walk with a bounce.
Compliments flow from my mouth by the ounce.
Haven't used "asshole" in ages, or "swine,"
Haven't told people to drink turpentine.
Instead, it's upwelling from deep founts:
Friendship is Magic!
The Enthusiast
Friendship is magic! I shout it aloud,
Wearing the t-shirt, I'll show 'em I'm proud!
All of my life, I've awaited the day,
Fraught with emotion to honestly say:
I'm ready to hang with the "in crowd"!
Purpose consumes me, my heart so endowed,
Tolerance patters like rain from a cloud!
Look at me taking this chance to display
Friendship is magic!
Episodes lately? I haven't been wowed,
Too much attention: it's getting low-browed.
Bronies are common as flowers in May,
True pioneers slowly falling away.
It's broken, but I remain unbowed!
Friendship is magic!
The Regular
Friendship is magic? It's silly and fun,
Following ponies who caper and run.
Often, it ventures surprisingly deep,
Glancing at topics not simple or cheap—
Just most of the time with a horse pun.
Little about it will startle or stun:
Product, it's plain, is the reason it's spun.
Stories get touching but won't make you weep,
"Friendship is magic!"
Maybe I'm stupid to call it well done.
Hopeful that shadows can melt in the sun,
Shallow or wimpy or kind of a creep,
Mawkish, oblivious: badges I keep.
Committed until I'm the last one:
Friendship is magic!