REEEcruit

by Damaged


Another JournEEE

I stepped down off the train, my horn glowing brightly. Canterlot was the city of my birth, and where I spent my earliest years. Tossing my head, I sidled to one side of the train to make way for the two canvas sacks floating along, each suspended in the same cobalt blue aura my horn was. "Come on, Mango, sign-up is today!"

Mango von Screech stepped from the train hastily, practically jumping off in a rush before spinning around and glaring at the train. I knew what was coming, and folded back my ears. An ear-splitting screech left Mango's mouth.

"What's up now? It's the same as when we got on." I admired just how worked up my friend was: all the gray fur along his spine stood on end, his wings were partially unfurled, and his orange-gold eyes were narrowed to slits.

"I don't trust trains." Mango ruffled his wings and folded them to his sides. When he finally tucked his thumbs down, I knew he was over the worst of his rage. "I don't know why we didn't just fly here."

"Mango…" Rolling my eyes back in their sockets, I gestured past my lime-green mane to my white coated shoulders with my snout. "I can't fly and you know it. Also, you should watch your language." I glanced around, but thankfully there were no other bat ponies on the train.

"Pfft, that sounds like your problem, not mine!" Mango puffed out the fur of his chest and started to strut forward, and it would have worked until I lowered his duffel onto his back. "Hey! What are you doing?!" He struggled with his wings to stop the heavy bag from slipping.

"Now neither of us can fly." I stuck my tongue out at Mango and trotted past. The whole city was both huge and tiny at the same time. The station, the castle, and all the other buildings were just as large as I remembered them, but the ponies were not. When I had left Canterlot with my father, I didn't even have my cutie mark.

Mango finally caught up with me, and despite dumping the bag on him, I lifted it back off. I heard the softest mumble come from my friend.

"What?" Carrying the bags was nearly effortless. My dad, Load Bearing, is in construction, and as his son I helped out for pocket money. Hefting redwood beams had let me stretch my magic to the point where I could lift with the best. "Is it too heavy for you? Did you pack too much fruit?"

My jab seemed to have hit home; I watched my friend's face blush. "N-No! Why would I pack fruit?"

Floating Mango's bag down so that it hovered between us as we walked, I started fiddling with the cord holding it closed. "So if I opened this, nothing would fall out? No bananas? No Mangoes? Oh, and certainly no app—"

I wasn't quick enough to save my ears from his screech of annoyance, but with my head ringing I knew that I had scored a point. Leaving the canvas bag sealed, I floated it back up beside mine. "Maybe we should stop for some fruit? I think nectarines are in season."

"Shut up, Sparks." Mango shook himself, but I could see his eyes scanning around; he was obviously making sure I was actually joking.

Nearing Canterlot Castle, we both turned our attention to the huge, bright feature of the capital of Equestria. "Wow." My exclamation was echoed by Mango. Walking forward still, we approached the main entrance.

"Hi there!" Both our heads turned to the speaker, who appeared to be a white-coated, blue-maned unicorn of the Royal Guard. "Guard sign-ups are today. Are you both here to sign up?"

Mango and I looked at each other, and then grinned. "Sure!" I said, turning back to face the stallion. "Where do we go for that?" I looked past the Guard, eyeing off the ponies milling about within the castle grounds.

"Well, you can head over to where Captain Shining Armor is standing, and your friend can head over to where Princess Luna herself is standing by." The stallion looked so sure of himself, and happy that he had helped.

"Sooo…" I narrowed my eyes and looked from the white-coated, blue-maned Captain Shining Armor, across to the deep blue fur and star-patterned mane of Princess Luna. "You are saying that bat ponies have to go to Princess Luna, and everypony else can go to the Captain?"

The Guard suddenly looked stricken. "Uh… yeah…?"

"Nope." I tossed my head, flicking my mane around. "I couldn't deal with dying my mane and tail blue. What are the fruit rations like in the Royal Guard?" At my side, Mango began to struggle in his effort to not laugh.

"Fruit ration? I don't follow." The Royal Guard tilted his head to one side a little, and I couldn't help but think of a dog doing the same when confused. "You're a unicorn."

"Yup." I nodded to make sure he knew I was agreeing thus far, and so my horn bobbed a few times.

"And he's a bat pony." The guard pointed at Mango with a hoof. Mango was still struggling not to laugh, and he nodded while scrunching his snout up to hold his laughter in. "Okay, so you go to Captain Shining—"

"I think I know where to go, thanks!" As I walked past the confused Guard, I opened Mango's duffel and pulled out a banana. Tossing the fruit to the Royal Guard, I pulled out another two.

"Hey!" Mango's humor had turned sour when he caught sight of me giving his fruit away. His anger turned to a happy kee of delight when I tossed one of the bananas to him. Clever thumbs peeled the fruit.

" 'Hey,' yourself." Using my magic to peel the last banana, I munched on it as I walked past the bright, gold-clad Royal Guard. Princess Luna was huddled under a midnight-black sun umbrella, and beside her were two bat ponies behind a table.

I walked right up to the table, with Mango by my side. "Hi!"

"Captain Shining Armor is back down that way." One of the bat ponies sounded as bored as he looked. "Your friend should step this way if he wants to sign up." As expected, I could see they were keeping their paperwork close to them.

"I told you so, idiot." Mango pushed up beside me, and pulled one of the forms across the table towards himself. Turning his attention to the two Night Guard, Mango plucked a quill up with one wing-thumb and checked the tip. "If I sign this I am in the Night Guard, right?"

"Correct." Luna herself answered Mango. "Once a pony puts his signature on that paper, he is in the Night Guard, and has sworn himself to my service." Despite the seriousness of the Princess' voice, I could feel that her eyes were locked on me—she knew.

"Well, that makes this simple." Mango held up the quill, rolled it around with his thumb. The move was faster than the other two bat ponies could hope to respond to. Mango slipped the quill to one side, and I moved up and used it to sign my name on the page.

Both Night Guard tried to jump forwards at once. "You can't do that!" "This is against the rules!" I managed to snatch the official paper out of their reach with my magic.

I had not been so serious before in my life, but I had to laugh a little. "Too late!" When the two bat ponies seemed about to rush me, I felt my magic snuff out. Looking at where the papers had been floating, I could see the cobalt glow of magic was still around them.

"Let me check those over, recruit." Princess Luna's voice quelled all movement, and we seemed frozen in a pantomime. I felt my heart rush as Luna unrolled the papers. "Why did you do this, Sparks?" She knew my name, obviously, because I had signed it. But that didn't stop part of me from believing that she might have remembered me from her visits.

"I grew up in Hollow Shades, Your Highness. I am just as tired during this time of day as you are. But the reason I want to join is because you visited us." My own memory floated me back to the time I was a foal. "You might not have noticed, Your High—"

Luna interrupted me. "Princess Luna, is fine."

"You might not have noticed, Princess Luna, but on that day I got my cutie mark." I couldn't help but puff out my chest more, setting my fluffy coat on display. I turned side on, revealing the shield with a pair of bat wings attached.

Luna looked at me in a way I expected some bat ponies did a pile of grapes. "He is signed up, Sergeant Kee." She passed my precious papers across to one of the bats, and delivered a significant look to him. "See that he is trained and fitted for some armor."

"But Princess Lu—" The bat pony with my registration forms was staring at it in shock, and his words were cut off simply by a glare from the Princess. "Y-Yes, Your Highness."

"Mango needs one too. We're both signing up." I turned to my accomplice and lifted a hoof to him. I saw Princess Luna smile as our hooves came together, and couldn't help but feel justified in our trick.


All the directions had been curt, sharp, and to the point. I knew they wouldn't cut me any breaks, but I was determined to be the best I could. Marching along with Mango at my side, we reached the recruits' barracks. The large building was in the shade of the castle at this time of day, it seemed, and our eyes slowly adjusted down to the dimmer light.

Opening the door with his hoof, Mango strode in. "I think everypony is asleep." His voice was pitched low. "Come on, Sparks."

The dimmer lighting inside the barracks was better still, and when I spotted Mango yawning, I couldn't help but yawn too. We staggered to the nearest two bunks, and we both slumped down onto them, and to oblivion.

"What is it?"

"Idiot, you know it's a unicorn."

"Yeah, but why is it in here?"

"Look at its cutie mark!"

The final voice did what the rest couldn't, and woke me up completely. Opening my eyes, I could see a huddling set of faces around my bed, each armed with more mouth-cutlery than a whole forest of timber wolves.

I glanced at the closest of the five bat ponies. "What's wrong? Haven't you ever seen a Night Guard before?" I rolled off my bed, and immediately regretted the amount of sleep I didn't get.

"Haven't seen a unicorn stupid enough to think he was a Night Guard." The bat pony scoffed, and the rest laughed at his failed attempt at a comeback.

"Hey!" Mango's voice cut through their laughs. "He might be an idiot, but Sparks isn't stupid. Princess Luna herself let him join." I watched Mango open his duffel and pull out two of his namesake.

We had long since worked out the best way to open a mango. The problem with mangology (that is the science of peeling and eating a mango) is that nopony is perfectly equipped for opening them. A bat pony has great claws and fangs, but they can't do the fine manipulations needed while cutting them. A unicorn, likewise, couldn't get a mango out of their skin without something sharp.

I quickly lit my horn and started the two mangoes turning in midair. Just like we had been doing for years, Mango reached out with both his thumbs at the same time and started scoring into the flesh of the fruit. A second later the peel was nothing but a scrap on the floor, and I tossed the first two mangoes to the other recruits, while Mango pulled out another pair.

"That is cool!"

"Whoa!"

I head two bats give off the happy little sounds all bat ponies made when eating a mango—pitched somewhere just barely within regular hearing range. "Who's next?" I spun the next two, and passed them out once Mango was done with them. When each bat pony had a mango, and I had one too, the tone of the room seemed much better.

"Why'd you sign up?"

I shrugged. "Grew up in Hollow Shades. I got my cutie mark when Princess Luna visited, it sorta became a thing I knew I had to do." I didn't have the wing-thumbs for manipulating a mango, but my magic worked just as well. I bit another hunk of delicious, sweet flesh from my fruit. "Where're you from?"

"Manehatten."

"Fillydelphia."

"Same as him!"

"ATTENTION!" All of us dropped our mangoes where they fell and leaped to the ends of our beds. The shout demanded notice, and triggered something inside us that made us want to follow the speaker's orders. "Eating in barracks? Sounds like everypony wants to go for a run."

I looked at the Sergeant. He had the same coloration as most bat ponies, but I could see a notch in one ear, and his eyes were blue instead of the usual summer tones. He stomped his way over to me and stood in front of me. "What in Princess Luna's name is this? Did somepony bring their fillyfriend in here?!"

Staring past the Sergeant I tried to keep my cool, but he leaned all the way until his snout was a whisker away from my own. "Did you hear me, pointy-head?"

"Sir. Yes, Sir!" Dad had already told me about his time in the Royal Guard, I had to expect things to be the same.

"Who is your coltfriend?!"

"Sir! I signed up to protect Princess Luna, Sir!" I raised my voice, practically shouted back in his face. I couldn't read the Sergeant's face at all, for all I knew he was about to stomp me.

"Well. You might be an idiot, Pointy, but you got your head on right." At his words I got the sinking feeling I had just been given a new name. The Sergeant moved on to the next in line. "What's your excuse?!"

I waited, standing at what I hoped was "attention," while the Sergeant marched his way down the line, insulting each and every student. Apparently, "not being bat enough" was hardly the only thing that could be wrong.

"Alright you mango-seeds, get your legs outside and start running around the track!" Leading the way, our new sergeant kept up his pattern so far. "My name is Sergeant Banana, but you useless cored apples can call me Sir." We left the barracks to find the sun down. My eyes adjusted easily to the dim light, considering it was still brighter than Hollow Shades was.

"Sergeant!" A new voice held the tone of command to it. I didn't turn my head, but our Sergeant did, and he saluted. "You have a mistake in your squad, Sergeant." The bat pony unleashed a series of screeches that caused all the other bat ponies in my squad to turn to him in shock.

"Lieutenant, I deal with mistakes all day long, but every one of these colts is dedicated to Her Royal Highness, Princess Luna herself." I could sense an edge in the Sergeant's tone, and to my surprise I realized he was standing up for me. "But if I ever hear you call one of my recruits that again, I will be talking to the Captain."

The Sergeant turned to the squad. "Can any of you repeat what our Lieutenant just said? So we can all be on the same page?"

"Sir!" I snapped a hoof to the ground, and couldn't keep the grin off my face. It didn't take much effort with my horn to pinch my vocal cords so they could go as high as the average bat. I let out a perfect repeat of what the Lieutenant had said in the bat ponies' native language. "Sir?"

"Good work, Pointy." I could see the Sergeant's face split into a grin. "Now move out and give me twenty laps!"