Doctor Stable put his stethoscope on the chest of Radiant Radar and listened for any irregularities in the beat of Radiant's heart. "This would be easier to diagnose if I had a way to scan what may be happening inside this stallion's head without causing magical interference." The doctor put the stethoscope back around his caramel colored neck, still clueless about how he could help. "The only thing I can say as of now is that we need to wait and monitor on his condition if it gets better or worse."
The door opened and Shining Armor, a white unicorn with a blue mane and tail stepped through, wearing his purple armor as he addressed the doctor. "Princess Celestia would like to hear about the unicorn's condition from you." Shining Armor pointed to the guard by the door as he gave a salute, "Accompany Doctor Stable to the Princess. I'll take over guard duty from here." The guard finished his salute and guided Doctor Stable out of the room, leaving Shining Armor with Radiant Radar. He stood by the door and stared at the lying unicorn on the bed and mentally sighed. Whoever this Radiant Radar character was, it greatly disturbed Princess Celestia. So it was safe to say that he was a high-profile guest or criminal inside the castle walls, and it was his duty to keep track of Radiant while he was in Canterlot.
***
Radiant Radar was floating in a sea of information, all of it useless to him. He didn't want to know where ponies were in Canterlot, he only wanted to get out of this delusional dream to start searching for Discord. "He brought us here, it only makes sense after I saw him." Radiant tried to stop himself from floating upside down, waving his hooves frantically, but realized it didn't matter anyway. What exactly was this place? Was it some part of his mind? Or the imagination of what his brain was doing?
"You'll wake up." Discord's voice echoed in the void and images of Discord began to fill the walls, most of it fan created. "How very interesting," Discord spoke again, this time Radiant could see him walking with a stack of books wrapped up in his red dragon tail and one open in his hands. "This story says I'm just plain evil," he threw it away and picked another book. "This story says I'm actually a sympathetic creature," he threw that book away and then lifted the rest of the books in front of him. "And these, thinking I would have a loving relationship with half of Ponyville?" He dropped those books and was now in front of Radiant Radar, the same devilish smile that Radiant first saw in the first episode of the second season of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. "You humans are so interested about a dimension that you can't even enter and create all of these stories, pictures, and even animations just on how much you really care about what you believe to be an illusion."
"It's a good show," Radiant answered, his heart beginning to race as he was looking into Discord's mischievous eyes. He just had to keep away from Discord and he'll report what is going on inside his mind. Perhaps try and get help from the Princesses themselves to help him and his friends. Discord shook his head and clicked his tongue. Radiant could feel the 'room' shrink, as the pictures faded into darkness.
"Planning to tattle on me? The god of chaos and anarchy? When I have my own show to present by April Foal's Day?" Radiant tried to go through the days in his head, what day was it when they got pulled in? Radiant's eyes shrunk, March 28th. So that meant time was equal from Earth to Equestria, at least in days. But that also meant that eventually people would start to question where they were if time was still running back home.
"What do you want from us? Quentin, Linda, her sister?" Radiant started backing away from Discord and felt his rump hit something behind him.
"Me?" Radiant jumped up in shock and felt himself in a large hug by Discord, the claw that he used to corrupt the Mane 6 dangerously close to him. "Just what every ruler of the world wants," Discord whispered in Radiant's ear and poked his head. "Soldiers."
Radiant was then set down as he felt his head begin to spin wildly, visions of the Discordian War filling his mind. So much mindless destruction, hunger, madness, all for the amusement of the terrifying leader of it all. Radiant screamed out in agony and slumped down, his mane and coat now having a grey shade to it. "What do you wish for me to do, Lord Discord?" Radiant droned, his eyes no longer shining as he looked up to his Commander-in-Chief.
Discord sauntered over to Radiant Radar and leaned down to whisper in his ear. "Okay, I'll tell you what I want you to do when you wake up. First off, you and I are going to conquer the castle, but only when I give you the signal." Discord gave Radiant a wink before continuing, "You are going to need to keep this next part a secret," Discord put his claw up to Radiant's lips, "so, shhhh."
***
After a brief excursion with a cockatrice and having to shake off stiff bones, Zecora and myself reached the end of the Everfree Forest with minimal damage. The light of the sun was more than bright as I tried to shield my eyes. "I cautioned you of the sun when I first spoke, what was needed for the trip was what I wore, a cloak." Zecora lifted her head up to look at me behind the shadow of her hood.
"I'll get over it." I responded, still rolling my shoulders and getting feeling back in them. Looking up into the sky, I could see spots of colors moving around and pressed against clouds. My wings opening up, seemingly ready for flight. "Are those more pegasuses? Pegasi?" I turned to Zecora, "Whats the plural for pegasus? I'm thinking pegasi, but I don't really know."
"Indeed they are, Quick Fix of Fillinois. I need you with me, so there is no time to enjoy." Zecora began trotting towards a house nearby, it kinda looked like the house of the seven dwarves, except with birdhouses surrounding the area. As we crossed the stone bridge, I could hear a multitude of chirps, squeaks, and calls coming from behind the house, each one I could pick out as other animal sounds. Was Zecora leading me to a zoo? Zecora lightly knocked on the wooden door, just barely making an audible sound.
"This is a friend of mine that is very quiet, so don't make any loud noises as if you're going to start a riot." Zecora whispered as the door began to creak open. A sky blue eye poked out from the side and then the door opened further, revealing a light yellow pegasus with a long pink mane covering one of her eyes. "Good morning, Fluttershy. I wanted to introduce you to somepony as I was walking by."
Her door opened further and she looked at me, she turned over to Zecora and timidly spoke. "Um, did you bring the drink I asked for Angel?" Zecora pointed to the flask on me and Fluttershy gave a small 'Eep!'
I took the flask off, slowly offering it to her to show I wasn't going to jump out and scare the shy mare. "Quick Fix," I introduced my name in a hushed tone, doing my best not to look dangerous. "I don't know anypony in Ponyville since I came from Fillinois." Fluttershy took the flask from my hoof and backed into the house.
"I need to get back to Angel, he's still running that high fever, and I need to take care of the rest of the animals as well." Fluttershy went to shut the door, until I spoke up.
"Would you like some help?" I asked, seeing the door stop from closing and Fluttershy looked back at me. "I mean, nopony should be just left alone to deal with so many animals. I could've heard at least about a hundred of them back there."
We all stood there quietly in the sound of peaceful cheeps from birds for a time until a small cough came from the inside of the home. "Oh, I'm sorry. I have to tend to Angel, but thank you for your offer, perhaps another time then. Good meeting you." Fluttershy finished closing her door and Zecora began to go back across the bridge.
"She likes you very much, don't be fooled by her evasiveness. Due to her timid nature, it won't be something she will easily confess." I could only nod, I was familiar with dealing with quiet people before. When I worked as a over-the-phone representative, I may have hated a lot of the people that called in, but the quiet ones were always the most kind and easiest to work with. Not only that, but the way she looked at me, I felt the same feeling of lust as I did when I looked at Zecora's flank. I could tell something was wrong, I wasn't normally like that back home.
Back on Earth, I would talk and meet with multiple people, including buxom women. I may have remarked how they have looked, but I've never thought about doing things with them, not like I was doing here. I shook it off as something else and kept walking with Zecora. Instead, I opted to start making a plan in my mind. With Discord keeping tabs on myself and my friends, goal one was to find them and get somewhere safe, perhaps establish a base out in the Everfree Forest where we would be far enough away from public so they wouldn't be in danger.
Goal two, with a base of operations, we would need keep protected. Which means that all of us would need to learn how to protect ourselves with traps, hoof-to-hoof combat, making weapons.
Goal three, and the most important goal of them all, get home. Make another teleportation machine, get Discord to send us back by force, or some alternative, it didn't matter. After more trotting, I began to notice more hooves on the ground that I was looking at. Looking up to see that Zecora and myself were in the middle of a large town, no doubt Ponyville.
"Holy Bajoly, this is a lot of ponies," I remarked, looking at the amount of colors roaming around astounded me. What was more astounding was that each one of the ponies had a picture of something on their flank. A sawblade, hourglass, book, sunglasses, tennis racket, it was like each one of them had a different tattoo and they all decided to place it in the same location on their bodies. Out of curiousity I turned to my own flank and didn't see a mark at all, which I was curious as to why. If Discord made us into these ponies, then why didn't he complete the full disguise?
"You have no cutie mark, another reason for the cloak. So don't try to be upset, as they may laugh at you, like a joke." Zecora quietly mentioned as I began to notice the unusual stares from some of the locals and even some hidden laughter. I suddenly felt naked, and nothing to remedy it.
"There wouldn't happen to be a clothing shop of some kind we can go into, is there?" I quietly asked, fearing the answer would be a no.
"Another friend I could let you see while I shop for ingredients to perfect my technique," she pointed to a shop that was being entered by a small group of ponies, "Go inside and ask for Rarity of the Carousel Boutique." She then reached inside her cloak and retrieved a small bag and put it in my hoof. It felt like it was filled with little coins.
"I can't ask for you to give me that much, it'd be wrong." I tried giving it back to Zecora who just pushed it back. I put the bag in my mouth, as walking with three legs would be the worst thing I could've done while still learning how to keep trotting in a straight line. I gave a silent bow of my neck to Zecora in thanks and went off to the Boutique she was talking about. At the door, I could hear conversation going on. I kept near the door, not wanting to disturb what was going on.
"That's why I wanted you to meet them! So you could make one of your fancy dresses as a gift for the party! Oh, wait. What if you wanted to make it a surprise? Agh! How could've I forgotten rule one of presents? It's ALWAYS supposed to be a surprise!" Somepony with high energy said, I was already worrying about even entering the place and having to deal with somepony that spoke 75 and a quarter miles an hour.
"Well, you are leading them on a tour of the town really, its not like afterwards you can really surprise them." Another voice, reasonably responded with a southern drawl. My confidence coming back as I readied myself again to enter when I heard something else that I didn't expect.
"Well, I wouldn't know Applejack, Pinkie has been surprising enough with what she's done already." My legs gave away as I hit the ground in shock, causing the conversation to go quiet as my head became visible to the group. I looked up to see two lime-green ponies, one with glasses and the other with a familiar curl in her mane. Beside them was a orange cowpony and a messy maned pink pony. I hurriedly got myself back up, grabbed the bag of coins, and stepped inside. I went straight to the green pony with the curled mane that I had heard speak and tried swallowing.
"Linda?" My heart rushed, it couldn't have been this easy to find them. It had to be somepony that would look at me and say that she never heard of a pony called Linda. I couldn't help but back off a little as my mind went blank.
"Quentin?!" She responded with a squee and rushed up to tackle me with the biggest hug I had ever received from her. I just barely came to falling over before the two of us kissed, only to have the pink pony ruin it by going 'Awww!' We pulled away and both of us circled each other, looking over everything. We soon stopped as another pony walked in, purple mane with multiple curls as well as her tail, a white coat with three diamonds on her flank.
"Did I just miss something girls?" She looked over to the pink and orange ponies who both had smiles of their own. The white pony had a horn on her head and spoke in an eloquent tone. "Honestly, with so much drama about parties and now a stallion in the store, its a wonder how I can get anything done in here." The unicorn approached me and held up a hoof, "Forgive me, sir, I am Rarity. I was getting ready to work on a dress for the young lady." I scooped the hoof up and gave a gentleman's kiss, figuring I was dealing with a more prim and proper pony.
"Don't let me hold you up, take care of my friend here and we'll talk business later then." I responded, trying to hold a semblance of calm composure after knowing I had just completed part of my first goal by finding Linda. I shifted my attention back to her and whispered in her ear. "For now, call me Quick Fix, I'm trying to keep a low profile." She then turned her head to whisper in my ear as well.
"I'm called Limonade, Marian is Min Tea." She nodded her head towards the other green pony with the glasses who was sitting in a corner away from the group. So now I had two for three, leaving Richard as the last one I needed to find. She went to the bag of coins that I had dropped when I talked to her and set it on the table. "We'll need to catch up after this, I'll be back soon." Limonade followed the unicorn into another room and the door shut. I leaned against the wall and gave a sigh of content, lady luck was smiling down at me.
"So you're the coltfriend that Limonade was telling us about," the cowpony spoke, making me jump, feeling embarrassed that I had forgotten there were other ponies in the room. "Might I say, that you don't look half-bad for a pegasus. If I had known that their were stallions like you in Fillinois, I might've taken a brief trip up there." I began feeling that awkward feeling again, my mind tried its best to keep itself from thinking about how I could wrestle with the mare in bed.
"Yeah, thanks," I managed to say before going to the table with the bag of coins and took a seat by Min Tea, looking in the mirror I just decided to run a hoof over my mane. "So far this has been an eventful day." I kept my eyes on both ponies as they also sat by me and Marian. "My name is Quick Fix," I mentioned as I began thinking of any topics of conversation to try out.
"This is truly bluey super ridiculously fantastic," screamed the pink pony as she managed to hop over all three of us to start shaking hooves with me. "Pinkie Pie, party player, organizer, maker, taker, host, waiter, caker, baker, and smile generator!" She then did a crab walk back to her chair and sat down, still wearing the large smile she had when she first saw me. I looked over at the cowpony in hopes of an explanation.
"I take it she does that on a regular basis?" I questioned, causing both Applejack and Pinkie to laugh.
"She's always like this, can't get her out of your hair once she latches on to you," she responded, giving her own tip of her hat. "I'm Applejack, proud owner of Sweet Apple Acres here in Ponyville." I looked back in the direction of where Limonade was taken towards.
"So, this Rarity, she's a clothes designer?" I began to notice the models of mares and stallions adorn with suits and dresses that glinted in the sunlight.
"Worried about Limonade?" Applejack asked, my face giving away the answer. "Don't worry about her, Rarity is a good friend of ours and the best dress maker in all of Equestria." Applejack pointed to a picture of herself and Pinkie in designed dresses, alongside Rarity, Fluttershy, and two other ponies. "She made those dresses for us and caused Hoity Toity to fall out of his chair impressed. What about you?"
"Huh?" I felt the light on me, and started getting nervous.
"Just tell us about a bit of yourself, from what Limonade told us, you're quite the catch," Applejack explained, making my throat tighten nervously. I had to think of something and fast.
"I had a job before I came here, dealing with ponies that called in." I started explaining.
"Ponies calling in? Oh, that's right! It's that new thing they've got going around. What was it called again?" Applejack turned to Pinkie who put her hoof on her chin and replicated 'The Thinker'. Before she pulled her head up and turned to me.
"A telephone?" She guessed, looking into her eyes, I wanted to see what would've happened if I had told her it was wrong, to see what reaction she would give me, but my heart didn't want me to be a jerk.
"That's right. A whole building of them," I answered, seeing Pinkie's eyes get big. "So the ponies would call in with questions about things, mostly why their phones didn't work as well as the company said they would and just complain."
"Doesn't seem like it would be a fun job to have," Pinkie remarked, her tongue sticking out to show her dislike. My mind again playing tricks with me as I thought what kind of look she would have if I kissed her.
"It wasn't," I admitted. "I needed the money though, so I thought if I could stick it out long enough, I could go to college to become a doctor."
The two of them leaned over to check my flank and both of them responded, "He doesn't have a cutie mark either."
"What is this deal with cutie marks? Is it some sort of thing I didn't do right? Do I have to sign up for it?!" I frustratingly asked, watching Pinkie lean back in disbelief and Applejack raise an eyebrow.
"It's a right of passage." Min Tea dejectedly said, still sitting between us in the conversation. "When you find what you are destined for, or find your special talent it just appears." I looked over to Applejack and Pinkie Pie to confirm what Min Tea said and got reassuring nods. So to add to the list of goals, figure out exactly what kind of destiny I had, because I still felt unsure about becoming a doctor.
"She's all done! Set the stage for fabulousity!" Rarity called out as she introduced Limonade in a flowing green dress that seemed to wave on its own as she stood there. Her mane wasn't changed, and I could already imagine what the conversation may have been about it. "But, dear," I could imagine Rarity trying to get a plea as she kept missing with a comb to the dodgy Limonade. "You would just look gorgeous with a Formal Updo with curls!"
"Get that blowdryer away from me," I could see Limonade doing her best to stave off the stylist with a roll of fabric. "I worked for nearly a half hour to make this curl look right, and you're not going to change it!" I may not have been too far off from the truth, looking at Rarity, I could see a little distaste about Limonade in her expression. Another thought, this time thinking of Rarity coming into the bedroom with a riding crop in her hooves. My mind kept spinning with those thoughts, it was difficult not to show frustration about it.
"Now, take good care of this dress," Rarity said to Limonade distracting me from the images that continued to haunt me in my mind. "It does need to survive until Pinkie's party, and then the real test begins."
"Test? You make it sound like the dress is an experiment." I commented, Rarity giving me a sly expression.
"Because it is, sir," Rarity went to a sink and pulled down a bottle of dye. "Watch this." Rarity splashed the dress with the dye and the dye rolled off, leaving no trail of color behind.
"What in tarnation is in that fabric, sugercube?" Applejack curiously asked, all of us unanimously agreeing to get an answer. Rarity's horn glowed blue and a roll of fabric came floating in from another room. Min Tea and myself watched as the fabric was set down on the table and rolled out.
"The latest in fashion technology, the first ever, Pinkie Pie party approved apparel!" Rarity layed on the fabric and caressed it in her arms, treating it like a treasured possession. "Think of it girls," Rarity rolled the fabric back up with her magic and sent it back into the room it floated in from. "A dress, that can survive against all the stains, strains, and pains of anything in the world, and it doesn't chafe."
"Challenge accepted." Pinkie Pie stood on her hind legs, crossed her fore legs, and squinted at Rarity. The shock of seeing such an image where a world of ponies didn't have the internet, but could make jokes about it made me burst out laughing. Causing the whole room to look at me, so I tried to do the one thing I could to not look like an idiot, try to make it seem I did it on purpose.
"Really?" I cheekily mocked at Rarity,and went to Limonade's dress, "Can it stand, THIS?!" Gripping the dress with my teeth, I pulled hard against it and accidentally threw Limonade into the fabric room. A lot of crashing noises and falling objects came from inside the room, a cat ran out of the room in a panic and hid behind Rarity. "Sorry! I didn't mean for that to happen!" I called out, hoping Limonade wasn't mad at me. Limonade stepped from the room with her mane entirely messed up, her lips puckered in frustration, the one habit Linda had when she didn't like something. I nervously squeaked out, "I love you?"
The fit that Limonade had was enough to make me NOT want to mention the details, but I could tell you it involved screaming and me getting thrown into the same room. I'm guessing that the rules on relationships become a bit more exaggerated, as Linda wouldn't have been as violent with me. She'd just make me feel bad if I made a mistake for the next week. After the chaos ended, Rarity checked on the dress and found a tiny string had popped out. She spent the next few minutes crying on a sofa that just appeared, while we all tried to recover from the chaos.
"Well, it's no party, but I had a blast watching that." Pinkie chirped up, causing all of us to give her glances, making her nervously chuckle before petering out as she stared back down at the floor
"I'm sorry, Que- Quick Fix," Limonade caught herself from saying my actual name. "I didn't mean to make that more... violent than it came out to be." I put a hoof around her neck and chuckled.
"Don't apologize for that, I'd be mad too if I got picked up by the suit and flung into a cabinet of fabric, a sewing machine, and a basket of yarn." I popped a bone in my neck, and gave a small cry of pain, she got me good. Rarity finally pulled herself from the couch and approached me.
"Well, you at least saved me from making more of those dresses in that fabric," Rarity tried to swallow the last of her disappointment and I couldn't help but feel worse because of it, "I'll be asking for a refund later, but it is on to business. What can I do for you?"
"Suit with pockets," I stated, already with an idea of what I thought I would need, a uniform that would make me look professional and ready for everything. "Aerodynamic, for no drag while I fly," as I spoke my mind set the next goal for me, learning how to fly. "In short, a uniform meant for everything and nothing." Rarity got a notepad and pencil with her horn and began writing down what I suggested.
"Are you a member of the royal guard or related to a member in someway?" Rarity asked, causing me to be taken aback. "It seems like you want me to make you a lighter version of this." She showed me a design that looked like an armored horse, except with small pockets in the front of the chest and flank.
"I'm not related to any soldier in the guard, but that design looks like something I would like to use," I thought carefully for a moment before saying something else. "Could you use that fabric that you used with Limonade?" Rarity gasped as if I had asked her to murder another pony.
"NEVER!" She cried out, causing me to back up before trying to stand my ground. "That fabric is not fit to be worn by anypony in its current condition, especially after its test run you just made it go through." I gave a grin and chuckle, making Rarity look at me as if she knew I had something on my mind.
"You called that fabric an experiment, any true scientist would try to test something multiple times to see if the same effect would happen," Rarity pulled her head back in shock, not expecting me to give her an ultimatum. "The first dress may have failed, as you call it, but if it was a fluke, you could be sending perfectly good fabric for some other pony to just take and use." Rarity went to argue, her mouth open as she took a breath, she then put a hoof on her chin, closing her mouth as she started thinking on what I had told her.
"I don't think I've seen Rarity at a loss of words before," Pinkie remarked, turning over to Limonade who was taking off the dress. "How did you meet this stallion again?"
"Well played, Mr. Fix," Rarity finally relented, I gave her a reassuring smile. "Let's make that suit of yours."
***
"Hold still!" Rarity hissed as she poked me again with a needle.
"You're making it easy for me to NOT hold still with those sharp pokes you're giving me." I gritted through my teeth, regretting every moment while Rarity tried to put on the finishing touches on the pocket in the front. The entire experience was like a roller coaster, starting slowly as she measured my body and making short rough drafts of designs, then she exploded with speed in wrapping me up in fabric, cutting it, sewing it, making adjustments, and now she was slowly approaching the end and making it excruciating for me to get off the ride.
After a final pull of string and a snip of scissors, Rarity exclaimed, "Done! the Pinkie Pie party approved apparel, mark two!" She moved a mirror in front of me and I gave an "Oh." of surprise. The uniform was a dark blue that wrapped the chest and flank, buttons hidden in the front made sure that the suit didn't fall off as I moved. Giving a smug look at Rarity, I began trying to strain the suit by flexing my muscles and moving my wings, the suit didn't make a sound and stayed strong. Rarity gave me a confident smirk as I stepped off, "Think you can try and get that suit dirty or damaged this time?"
Stretching out my legs from standing for a long time, I shook my head, "Are you kidding? I don't want to ruin good clothing." Stepping out of the room I presented the look to the girls and even gave a few good flexes, making them giggle. "I am one good looking beast." I remarked as I went to the bag of coins and stuffed it into my front pocket, seeing that there was plenty of space for more objects if I needed. "How much is it for a custom made suit?" I asked, seeing Rarity approach a cash register.
She gave a small thought into it and the price of '40' came up, "40 bits, for the suit." I gave a whistle, and pulled out the pouch again, pouring out the coins in it. I began counting the bits and came up with the 40, leaving only about 20 left that I slid back into the pouch and back in the pocket. So if a bit was the equivalent of a dollar, this suit I got was a bargain.
"Fabric test!" Pinkie screamed out and rushed towards me.
"No, no, no, no, no!" I cried out as both of us began rolling around the shop, hoof-in-hoof, and crashing into everything, eventually we both slowed to a halt and like a tire we went to our sides and stopped moving, Pinkie laughing like a maniac. I shot up and started checking the fabric for cuts, fading, discoloration and saw nothing wrong with the suit. I gave a raised eyebrow to Rarity, showing her that I was impressed with what she did. "Worth every bit."