//------------------------------// // Chapter 27 A Laughing Matter (Part 1) // Story: Gotham City Heroes (canceled version) // by Batfan98 //------------------------------// At a TV station in Gotham City, the crew was getting ready for an important report. A man with a black suit, blue tie, short black hair and glasses sat at the desk in front of the camera, as well as a woman in an orange suit and long red hair. "Que music." said the news director as the Gotham Gazzete news came on as told. "Que Vickie." the camera man turned the attention to Vickie Vail. "Good evening Gotham City. The fashion world was stunned by the deaths of models Candy Walker and Amanda Keeler." she reported as the screen showed two pictures of young women with permanent grins on their faces, no form of life in their eyes. "There has been no confirmation of how their deaths were caused, but it is believed that the murders were caused by none other then The Joker, who is still at large." next to her was then shown a mugshot of The Joker "If you have seen any sightings of him or have any information about his whereabouts, please contact the authorities immediately. Jack." The camera then showed Jack Ryder "And yesterday Edward Nigma, A.K.A. The Riddler, has been recaptured by The Batman and Robin The Girl Wonder. It looks like he'll be facing more years in Arkham Asylu-" "Hahahahaha." Vickie laughed, but stopped herself and coughed under her throat. "Sorry." She averted her eyes looking embarrassed. Jack looked awkwardly at Vickie but turned his attention back to the camera "In other news-" "HA HA HA HA HA!" Vickie laughed loudly this time, slamming her fist on the desk "HA HA HA HA HA HA!" she leaned backwards in her chair falling on her back, still laughing like she wasn't hurt. "Vickie? Vickie?!" Jack said worried. "Kill the cameras." the director ordered while one of the people behind the camera called paramedics and some of the others went to check on Vail who was still laughing, this time like a lunatic. Then they suddenly heard some kind of commercial music coming from their screen. The Ace of Knaves himself, wearing a purple fedora, was pushing a shopping cart going through what looked like a grocery aisle. He then pulled from the cart a mouth wash bottle with a green liquid inside labled 'Smiley'. "New and improved Joker products!" he said happily "Smiley!" Two pictures of the dead models appeared next to him. "Love that Joker." they said in unison. What was shown next was a dead man tied to a chair with table of chemicals next to him. "Uh oh." Joker said, walking right next to him "He's been using Brand X." words flashed above him saying 'OH NO!!!'. "But with Joker's brand..." he walked over to a grinning dead man in a chair next to a table of various Joker toxins "you'll be smiling again and again and again." he grinned. "Love that Joker." the two models appeared. Next cut was a beach with Joker sitting on a beach chair, his fedora gone and instead was wearing sun glasses. The two dead models laying on the sand in a relaxing position. "That luscious tan," Joker commented "those rubey lips, and hair color, so natural, only your undertaker knows for sure. Hehehehe. Now I know what your thinking; 'where can I get these?'" Joker held up a Smiley bottle "Well, chances are you bought 'em already. HAHAHAHAHA! Now go and put on a happy face! HAHAHAHAHAHA!" That commercial broadcasted on every TV in Gotham, including the flat screen above the fire place in Wayne Manor leaving a stoic Bruce and a stunned Scootaloo. "Come on." Bruce said as he and Scootaloo exited Wayne Manor through the Batcave. They soon arrived at Gotham Hospital where Vickie Vale was, laughing, shaking her legs in the air and turning in a hospital bed. "Mrs. Vale. Mrs Vale please?! Hold still!" said a doctor, trying to hold her down so he can inject a needle with antidote Batman gave them once. "HAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm trying! AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!" she laughed, thankfully the doctor grabbed her wrist and injected the needle. Vickie's laugh slowed "HAHAhaha....heh heh heh hehhhhh" then it finally stopped. "That's it, there. Now please get some rest?" the doctor said as Vale obliged, unbenounst to both two shadowy figures came through the window. "Mrs. Vale." She gasped as she heard a gruff voice say her name and saw that it was Batman and Robin. "We need answers." "O-okay...what?" she calmed down. "Did you do any form of drug use?" "N-no." Vickie answered, truthfully. "But if it helps, I remember brushing my teeth this morning a-and when I did the toothpaste had this caffine taste to it, I was unfamiliar with it because I always used that brand." "So you think Joker might have poisoned you?" Robin asked. "Y-yeah, I think so." Vickie answered. "What product was it?" Batman asked. "Uh...Colgate? Yeah, Colgate." Vickie remembered. Batman noded as he and Robin, who was waiting at the open window cell, glided down into the Batmobile driving off. "Why would Joker poison Vickie Vale?" Robin wondered out loud. Yeah, why would Joker do that? Then again since when did Joker have reason of anything? "Maybe Vale wasn't his main target. Maybe he meant to poison everyone else." Batman theorized as he made a turn, parking in an alley. He then opened his glove compartment where two pairs of normal clothes were. "Get changed." he handed her a blue skirt, green t-shirt, and Detroit Tigers baseball cap. "We're going shopping." ******** They later returned to the Batcave with mouth wash, perfume, cologne, toothpaste, lip stick, and hair spray. They carried the products in bags and poured a few samples in these vials for the Batcomputer to analyze. "Analyzing" it said. After a few moments "Analysis complete". Then had a file pop up on the screen. Bruce and Scoots took off their masks as they read the computer. "Looks like I was right." said Bruce "Analysis shows that Joker's toxin is in almost every product in Gotham. Effects are uncontrollable laughter and death." "Wait a minute. I remember that my toothpaste this morning had that weird caffeine taste to it." Scootaloo looked worried. "Am I gonna get affected?" "No." Bruce said as Scootaloo sighed with relief. "Wait, if my toothpaste had Joker toxin then how am I not affected?" "It's a new concoction of his toxin, to help in adapt with the product, but one dose is not enough to kill you, because when adapted, it becomes weak. You'll have to take over one hygiene product in order for it to work. Toothpaste won't do it alone, but if you use both toothpaste and perfume, or any other hygiene product, then that should effect you." Bruce explained. Sweet Celestia, Scootaloo knew Joker was dangerous but she didn't know that he's be able to do something like this. A look of worry etched onto her face. Bruce noticed this "Is something wrong?" Scootaloo sighed "Wow...I knew Joker was crazy and loved to kill people but I didn't know he'd do something like this where like a hundred people would die every minute." she lowered her head. She then felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up to see Bruce. "I know how you feel. I felt that way when I fought him the first time." "Not only is he a psycho path," Scootaloo breathed "but a monster as well." Bruce noded "Yes, but even though he's unpredictable we will find a way to stop him." "How can you be so sure?" "Because I've gone up against him before and so have you." Bruce tried reassuring. Scoots looked at the comouter in doubt "Yeah, twice." Bruce tried thinking of something then remembered the foes she's defeated "You defeated Riddler." Scootaloo faced Bruce, her face perplexed "Huh?" Bruce slightly smiled "You were able to answer his riddles and figure out his hardest ones." Scootaloo thought for a moment then smiled "Yeah, we did beat him, as well as Two-Face, Scarecrow, and others. We also beat Joker before and I don't see how we can't beat him again." Bruce, satisfied at finally lifting her spirits, then put a finger to his earpiece "Oracle. Send an anonymous tip to the GCPD. Tell them about Joker's toxin, I'm sending you the files now." "Okay. God, with this he can kill everybody." Oracle said. "I know. Don't worry, we'll stop him." Bruce assured as he put his mask back on. "See if you can find out what company uses the chemicals Joker put into his latest toxin. In the mean time, me and Robin have to pay a visit." "Okay, but it'll take some time." Oracle spoke. "Batman out. Come on, Robin." he headed to the Batmobile. "Okay, but where are we going?" Scootaloo asked, putting her domino mask back on. "To pay a visit to the right person who might know of Joker's plan." they hopped in the Batmobile. ***** VROOM The Batmobile drove through the streets of Gotham, then soon followed a street that lead into a forest. Robin looked outside the window, the forest was grim and spookey. There were a lot of dead trees and a little fog. She shivered as it reminded her of the Everfree Forest back in eqiestria. She then noticed a sign they drove past by. It said 'Arkham Asylum 1 Mile. Hitch hickers may be escaped patients.' Imagine what it would be like to get lost in those woods, then see someone in the distance, at first you think it's just some random guy, but it's actually an escaped patient from a mental asylum. Robin shivered at the thought, but regained her bravery by remembering she had knowlege of martial arts, so if anyone tried to harm her she would kick their butts. "We're here." Batman said as they were approaching their destination. Robin looked through her window and looked wide eyed at the asylum. It had some what of a castle-like appearance, but it had a dark and gothic look to it and had a clock in one of the towers. The Batmobile parked close to a gate with the name of the place on top of it, 'Arkham Asylum'. Batman opened the gate as they walked up to the entrance. They opened the door to see a Secretary surprised by them. Batman ignored her as he walked past her but Robin just turned her head to her "Hey." She then turned her attention back to following Batman. They walked down a hallway with cells with glass doors. In each cell there was a patient, some just sleeping, some screaming and some laughing. Every patient stared as they walked down the hall. Robin saw some familiar faces like Mad Hatter, Two-Face, Scarecrow, and Riddler. She didn't recognize Riddler and Scarecrow, because they didn't have their masks, but she was able to identify them by reading their name plates next to their cells that said 'Edward Nigma' and 'Johnathon Crane'. She also saw some new faces like a guy who had bandages wraped around his face, a shirtless bald man with tally marks cut onto most of his body, and an attractive woman with light green skin and red hair. Their name plates said 'Thomas Eliot', 'Victor Zsasz', and 'Pamela Isley'. She got the feeling she might cross paths with them in the future. After walking through the hall and making a few turnes at every corridor for almost ten minutes, they now arrived at a cell that held a young woman with blonde hair held in pigtails. Her name plate said 'Harleen Quinzel'. Other wise known as... "Harley Quinn." Batman said. Harley Quinn herself was in the middle of relaxing, but peeked her eye open as she noticed the Dynamif Duo "Well well. If it ain't the dork knight himself." Harley smirked as she got up from her bed and walked over to the glass door. She then noticed Robin "Oh and I see that you brought your play mate along." "Quinn, do you know anything about Joker's next plan?" Batman interrogated. Harley turned her attention to Batman "Sorry B-Man, but even if I did know, I wouldn't raddle on my puddin'." Harley crossed her arms. "Y'see, he doesn't tell me his plan until he starts doin' it, 'cause he don't want to risk nobody spoilin' the surprise." That made sense, there were times when Joker got away leaving Harley behind for Batman to catch, so he wouldn't tell her his next plan and risk her getting captured and spilling the beans. ******* The Batmobile was speeding through Gotham, hoping to find any trace of Joker, but found none. Oracle then came on the other line. "Okay, I found that some of the ingredients are stored in an old ACE Chemicals building in Park Row. It's abandoned, but they just left the chemicals there due to knowledge that they can create more, in other words they didn't care. I'm sending you the coordinates." "Thanks, Oracle." Robin said. "Dynamic Duo out." she noticed Batman looking at her, did she really just refer to themselves as 'Dynamic Duo'? "What? I thought I'd say that due everyone calling us that." she then remembered people refering to Batman with the other Robins as that too. Batman returned his attention to the other line. "We'll contact your father." They soon arrived to a six story building with the company name on the roof in green and a vial next to it. The Batmobile then screeched to a stop as several police cars arrived to secure the building and arrest whoever was inside. Unfortunately, Joker was nowhere to be seen. ******* "Thankfully, Vickie Vale is recovering well in the hospital." reported Jack Ryder. "In other news: Batman has successfully cracked the case of this so called 'laughing matter', and The Joker's men were rounded up and hygiene products have been removed from stores and police are seeing to that new shipments will be checked." BANG A bullet the TV as it exploded. "Well it looks like Batsy's won this round..." Joker handed a gun to his henchman "...but will he be able to stop what I have next?" he grinned "It's time to step up my game, hmm?" To Be Continued...