//------------------------------// // Blame The Calendar // Story: A Prophecy Gone Wrong // by Starlit Rose //------------------------------// Princess Celestia likes her sun. Someponies call it as a golden orange, rising fiercely in the seas of blue and white. She thinks differently. Well for starters, obviously her sun cannot be compared to an orange; they are not even the same colour! No, she thinks of her sun as... a pancake. Something she knows well. Something she makes a masterpiece out of. Something she never, ever messes up, not even in the most dire of situations. If Mr. Ramsay could not find a fault in her cooking, then nopony can. "Morning Sister. How was the night?" Princess Luna groggily lifts her head from her breakfast. She stated something quite intelligently. "And I am glad to hear that. Would you mind taking my masterpiece off from your face, so that I may be able to hear you better?" Princess Luna lowered her head back down onto her plate. Celestia narrows her eyes at her sister, but soon turns her gaze over to the ever-growing pile of letters delivered half-an-hour ago. Most of them she turns into paper doves with an unfortunate fate of ending up in the trash, but the rest she neatly stacks on the table in order of importance. Using her hooves to take a bite out of her meal - a technique she learned in her visits to nations without a major focus on magic - she opens the first message. Her eyes widen in delight as she recognises the mare who sent it. After all, it has been quite some time since her former student has sent a letter to her. Dear Princess Celestia I’ll be honest here, I’m not sure if I believe what I’m going to say right now. I believe that the prophecy of Nightmare Moon’s return in the Predictions and Prophecies book was the biggest hoodwink of all time since that day when the entire Royal Equestrian Guard was convinced that the entire royal family and all the higher order nobles were replaced by changeling drones as a master-plan by Queen Chrysalis herself. Pinkie says I suffer from PTSD every time I hear the words “Changeling Detection Spell.” How could she of all ponies know such a thing? Either way, I'm just glad you developed a physically non-violation-of-extremely-personal-space method since that day. Anyway, while the prophecy had been assumed by literally everypony that it foresaw the emergence of the Nightmare and her attempt to rule Equestria in darkness, and while this event did occur on the Summer Sun Celebration, I think I’ve discovered something disturbing over many days of research. And believe me, I’ve drained the entirety of Pinkie’s stash of emergency coffee to look into this. I’ll write out the entire prophecy as Spike’s too damn busy playing his silly game with Big Mac. Besides, this will allow me to better demonstrate my line of reasoning. “The Mare in the Moon, myth from olden pony times. A powerful pony who wanted to rule Equestria, defeated by the Elements of Harmony and imprisoned in the moon. Legend has it that on the longest day of the thousandth year, the stars will aid in her escape, and she will bring about night-time eternal!” So it’s clearly seen who the subject of this prophecy is. “The Mare in the Moon”, “imprisoned in the moon” and “she will bring about night-time eternal!” indicate on Nightmare Moon’s role in this. Unless you know of any other crazed mare who is bent on ruling over Equestria under the light of moon, I highly doubt that the prophecy is describing any other pony. Hmm… I should ask Discord if he had any nocturnal global conquests in mind. No wait, he’s not banished to the moon. Yet. I wonder how much magical energy is required to send someone a one-way trip over there. I’m sure you would have quite the first-hoof experience. Failing that, I could easily design an experiment to test my hypothesis. Regardless, I’ll make a reminder to remind myself to make sure I’ll remember to visit you and question further on that. That would make quite the lunatic conversation. Moving on… The line where it points out the requirement of the threat to have been “defeated by the Elements of Harmony” suggests it has been dealt with it in the past. Obviously, if it does refer to Nightmare Moon, then the prophecy merely points out your usage of the Elements of Harmony to banish her to the moon. So now that I have stated the outlines of the prophecy, I’ll discuss on the main issue that I have found with it. I don’t mean to be condescending to you in any way, but recent discoveries made in the Royal Astronomy Branch of the Higher Magics Order reveal an inconsistency with the calendar system. Basically, you’ve made a mistake. Please don’t banish me. I still haven’t finished reading Hooflysses. Now that we have… cleared that matter, although the lunar system of moons is used often to describe a length of time, our definition of the year rests within the sun and its journey across the sky. I’m absolutely certain that you exercise great control over it. However, while our calendar length comprises for 365 days, observations of your sun reveal that the length of a year – as observed from the Zebra territories – lasts for roughly 365 and a quarter days. Some ponies have suggested more accurate answers using methods found in Gregorihoof’s experimental theorems on equinoxal shifts, but these will have to be ironed out at a later date. You may now be wondering how this would affect the prophecy. Well, you probably know this issue anyway, and have a valid reason to explain it, but the question that needs to be raised is whether the thousand years referred to represents our calendar years or the true solar year. In a recent foray into Star Swirl’s private study, I have discovered the original manuscript which had formed the basis of the Predictions and Prophecies book. Analysing the magical signature of the script – something that Rarity suggested after she pointed out the writing was too eloquent to be hoof-written – reveals the date of inscription to have been roughly over half a millennium ago. Another thing which I have discovered from Rarity’s observations is that the stallion who made the prophecy couldn’t have been under the influence of alcohol. Such a shame that I had not realised this before asking Applejack and her family about the origins of their alcoholic beverages. I think I still have nightmares from the pink pony on the journey to Goldie Delicious. She purposefully led us down through the depths of goddamn Tartarus just to show what it was like the first time they made the trip. But that would be quite a story to tell at another time. Perhaps when I meet with you to discuss on magical moon trips. Similarly, I highly doubt that the prophecy maker was under the influence of spells, or substances of a psychotic nature. These methods leave behind distinct magical residues, and a rudimentary scan assisted by Zecora – for her knowledge on exotic arcanics – turned up negative for such energies. It will take a few moons to receive confirmation from the specialised labs in their experimental validations, but I believe that I am correct in my hypothesis. As for the psychotic substance testing… I think it’s best to not tell you who a certain Pegasus might know in her circle of friends. This left me with only one other option: That the prophecy was a true prophecy – one that came in some sort of vision or a certain future sight. Evidence yielded from the Magically Induced Neurotic Dreamscape branch of Alternative Advanced Arcanics indicate that Star Swirl himself had possessed this innate ability– (In truth, it would explain some of the more outlandish predictions; one of them describing a mare ‘giving in to madness’ to fix a decoupling aether field! I mean, that’s the crazy stuff that science-fiction writers come up with!) –but regardless of whoever authored the prophecy, they must have done so knowingly and willingly. Thus, the ‘thousand years’ statement could have a basis on our true solar year, and not the common calendar year almost everypony knows, whether he or she be drunken, drugged, spelled and/or sober. If this were to be true, then my calculations indicate that the Summer Sun Celebration on the day foretold by the prophecy was off by 250 days. Normally, this would have meant that the event should have been off by 250 days, but the fact that you simply forced the sun to have taken a longer journey on the wrong date had reset the clock, extending the prophecy to a year. I would tell you the specific number down to a few significant figures, but I cannot seem to be able to convince Spike to write the simple number on the parchment, now that he is willing to act as the pitiful slave that he is meant to be scribe. I have tried it myself, but after 21 torn pieces of paper I believe it simply isn’t possible to fit all of those significant figures on one letter. Needless to say, it took a week for Spike and the girls to calm me down and convince me to come out of the castle. Apparently reading Hooflysses and foregoing the need to eat and sleep somehow necessitated an intervention, despite my alicorn status easily sustaining me for months with no breaks. I guess someponies just don’t realise how effective stress reading is on a pony’s mind and soul. But then I realised, or rather Spike blurted out, that you had called for a reform of our calendar system a few hundred years before Luna’s return. The Romarean Calendar system, if I recall correctly. Actually, Spike never blurted out the intricate history of the evolution of the format of calendars and how they have been influenced by not-so-subtle revolutions and anarchy and– No, Spike simply complained about finding a room full of these relics of the past in our castle a few days ago. I cannot even begin to comprehend what the tree of harmony had been doing with a room-full of a few-centuries old calendars, but regardless, I managed to save these historical artefacts before they were sent to the trash. With this discovery, I ran a few calculations, and that placed the prophecy at an estimate of 3-4 of our current years past the events of Nightmare Moon's return. So... Uh... We may or may not have a new threat on the horizon. From Princess Twilight Sparkle P.S. I’ve released this news to the Magical Assembly of Gratified Individuals Committee, so expect mass panic and hysteria across Equestria within a day or so. P.P.S. Don't worry, I'll bring the popcorn. P.P.P.S Heya, this is Pinkie and- Pinkamena Diane Pie! Give my letter back back you abomination of an anomaly. Wait Spike, the letter hasn't passed the 32nd draft yet! Don't send i- Princess Luna lifts up her head unsteadily, disturbed from her much needed sleep by a sudden loud cry. Fortunately for her, she did not have a pancake plastered to her face this time. She gazes around and notices numerous scorch marks and burnt bits of breakfast coating the walls and ceiling of the dining hall. She lands her eyes down to her sister, who surprisingly had a calm demeanour surrounding her face. Or it would have been if it weren’t for the slight twitch of her eyes, the out of place strand on her mane, or the rapid breathing which gave it all away. Princess Luna lays her head down onto her breakfast again.