"Hey, Twilight?" Spike started while looking out the window. She trotted over to hear his question. "Does Pinkie Pie harbor any grudges against dragons for any reason?"
"Why would you was something like that?" Twilight cocked a brow and ginned.
Cause she's going to stab me! "No reason." Spike lied. "Just wondering... Hey did you pick up more taurine?"
"I did." She answered. Hey smile shifted into a suspicious frown. "Why?"
"No reason." She held her stare. "Because I was going to if you didn't... Because I care about you." Her expression softened with appreciation. Stupid bitch.
He returned his eyes to the window and scanned the outside world for pink. He watched until he noticed a familiar pink fur-ball of a tail poked out of a crowd. He squinted his eyes and realized that she was watching him through the legs of the ponies she was hiding behind. What the hell! Did she just lick her lips? Spike started sweating and shaking with the thought of her being anywhere close to him. I can't stay here... Fuck! He then got an idea of where he could hide. He ran to the fridge and grabbed a box-like object and shouted back to Twilight. "See ya Twilight! I'm going out for a while!" Before she could answer, he bolted out the door to another friends house without a trace hesitation in his step. Fearing that Pinkie was following him.
***
"Yo Rainbow Dash!" Spike shouted up to his best friend. She poked her head off the side of the cloud home. "Hurry up and get your ass down here!" He fanatically searched his surroundings for any signs of Pinkie. Good thing she doesn't have camouflage going for her... But she also doesn't have physics slowing her down... Fuck! Rainbow descended down to meet Spike.
"Why are you flipping out?" She laughed. "What's up your butt?"
"I need somewhere to hide today." Spike requested. "I know that you're not doing shit like normal so let me hide form Pinkie here."
"You know my price." Rainbow turned completely serious with a grave expression. Spike just sighed and tossed her a six-pack of beer he hid in the fridge from Twilight. "Nice! Okay, hop on ya little bitch!" Spike quickly did so. She took off and brought him up to her home.
"Why can't you get a normal house so I don't have to straddle you to your house!" Spike whined as he jumped off her back onto the cloud.
"Because then it would just be a normal house. And that would suck." She grinned at the six-pack of alcohol. "By the way, I still think you're full of shit with this Pinkie Pie thing."
Spike stopped at the front door and turned around, facing Rainbow. "You don't believe me?"
"Not at all." She confirmed.
"You didn't see the knife she slid in my pocket when I saved every-pony?" Spike shouted at the unfairness of it. "She was going to kill me in the woods!"
"I didn't see anything." She replied as they walked into her house and plopped down onto the couches she has in her living room. "Anyway, if she comes at you just shoot her with that thing you had yesterday!"
"Twilight made me throw it out." Spike muttered. "It was the only way to get her to calm the fuck down."
"Then just torch the shit out of her. You're a dragon! You can breath fire!" She suggested enthusiastically while downing a beer.
"Who am I? Fucking Charizard! I can't do that. I can barley light a candle, maybe blind her if she hold still." Spike returned.
"Well, then. Looks like your fucked." Rainbow chuckled. "You're doomed to be killed by a pink pony that throws a party for every single pony that moves here."
"I don't like your attitude." Spike pouted. "Oh yeah, how are things going with Applejack?"
"Seems good..." She blushed, thinking of her. "She hasn't openly said anything or done anything yet."
"Of course not." Spike stated. "She's straight, discovering new, confusing feelings for a friend." Spike told her. "There's a possibly that she kills herself."
She stopped drinking the beer and stared at him, gaping. "WHAT?" Rainbow wailed.
"Yeah, she's in that stage." Spike informed her. "So you should probably make a move soon... There's your incentive."
"She's going to kill her herself?!" Rainbow cried. "You could have told me this sooner you asshole!"
"I said that there's a possibility of it." Spike corrected. "Don't put words in my mouth. That's just rude."
"SPIKE!" Rainbow shouted in anger.
"Calm down, It's only a real problem if you were planning on waiting a month or something. She would get disgusted with herself for falling in love with her female friend that doesn't feel the same way so yeah, she kills herself." Spike told her. Rainbow was starting to develop tears. "BUT! But. You are going to make a move before she does. She's going to live."
"We're still really awkward around each other, though." Rainbow retracted her tears. Gross. "I can't ask her out. Even on that stuff that you made."
"Don't worry about it." Spike reassured. "I was already thinking about this when I was sprinting over here. I know how to fix both our problems. Tell me, Rain-bro, what's a crowded place that people have fun in."
"Amusement park?"
"No."
"Restaurant?"
"No, fatty."
"Movies?"
"The fuck is wrong with you?"
"I don't know-"
"The club." Spike revealed.
"What's a club have to do with anything?" Rainbow cocked her head.
"Think about it." Spike told her. "Music and dancing and a whole lot of people to make sure that I don't get Silence of the lambs-ed"
"I've heard that clubs suck ass, though." Rainbow hesitated. "And what happened to waiting?"
"Fuck the waiting! It's irrelevant here. Clubs are awesome!" Spike shot her hesitation down. "The trick is to get drunk. That will be your goal for the night when you bring Applejack around: get her drunk. Not so drunk that she won't remember anything, but drink enough to cloud her judgement."
"Pun." Rainbow pointed to their surroundings: a cloud home.
They snickered and brohoofed. "Unintended." Spike then got serious again. "So you know what to do?"
"Yeah, but I'll need you to come with me to ask AJ." Rainbow requested.
"Fine, Lesbo." Spike sighed. "I got ya a present." He tossed her a vial of Redbull.
"Thanks." She set the vial down and continued to drink the beer. "My parents never let me go to a club before. They always said I was too 'rape-able'. So lame..."
Spike chuckled. "Well, that explains why you turned out like you did. And you can't complain about parents at all to me!" Spike responded. "I have no parents! My mother is my sister! I had to teach myself everything I know, that's why I'm such a bad-ass."
"Just sayin'." Rainbow commented.
"I swear when I grew fifty feet when I was born... I swear I heard someone call me pudgy. Fucking assholes..." Spike muttered, then shook it off. He noticed a copy of 'Daring Do!' on the coffee table. He picked it up with a smirk. "You're still reading these shitting things?"
"Please, I never have." Rainbow laughed. "I just said I did to get Twilight to shut the fuck up!"
"So you've never been to the club before?" Spike threw the book away.
"Nope." Rainbow confirmed. "Didn't seem like that big of a deal."
"Oh, you're going to have some fun tonight." Spike grinned. "Ohh, I'll get to wear my swag again!"
***
"You good to go?" Spike asked Rainbow as he knocked of her front door.
"Not really." She admitted. "Feel like I might throw up, even with that crap taking over."
"You'll feel better once you're there with her." Spike reassured.
"Howdy Spike." Applejack opened her front door. She then saw Spike's companion and blushed, avoiding eye contact with her. "Howdy Rainbow... What can I do for y'all?"
Spike elbowed Rainbow to invite her to join them, but she just stood there with blood-red face and stared. Applejack was still avoiding eye-contact so it worked out pretty conveniently. God, they're perfect for each other... I feel like something should have happened already. Spike sighed and decided that he would have to speak up. "Hey, Applejack, we were going to go to a party tonight if you want to come."
She looked up slowly, but only high enough to see Spike. "You mean like one of Pinkie's parties?"
"NO!" Spike yelped that startled both the ponies. "I mean- no." He regained his composer. "Just you, me, Rainbow, and Rarity."
Rainbow snapped out of her daze. "Rarity?" She asked, not aware of his date.
He looked up at her. "Yeah, if you're bringing some-pony then I am too." He reasoned.
Applejack's ears perked up with a thought. Is Rainbow takin' me? "So you want to come or what?"
"Uh, sure." She answered.
"Cool." Rainbow blurted out, much less cool then she thought it was going to sound like.
"Uh, Spike?" Applejack started.
"Wha-WHOA!" Applejack picked him up with her mouth and brought him into her house. "What's going on?"
"Spike, can you keep a secret?" She asked, shyly.
Spike was silent for a few moments. "Yesss..." Wonder what Rainbow's thinking on the porch... "What's on your mind?"
"Ah think... Ah think ah might like Rainbow." She whispered. Time to wingman Rain-bro...
"You are her friend aren't you? Of course you like her, every-pony does." Spike grinned, attempting to hide the deviousness.
"No, Ah think ah might be..." She stomped the ground in frustration of how hard it was. "...Falling in love with her." Spike mustered a fake gasp. "Ah know, it's wrong. We're both mares."
"I don't think it's wrong." Spike slapped on his serious poker-face. "I don't have any problem with it at all."
"Really?" She smiled. Then it faded when she remembered who was on the porch. "But it doesn't matter what you think, though." Wow. Thanks, bitch.
"Why not just tell her how you feel?" Spike suggested.
"Because then she won't feel the same way and then she'll think of me as some freak." She cried.
"You won't know until you do it, though." Spike insisted. It'll be a lot more special for them if they confess their love at the same time, sounds better from the pony and not the messenger. "She might not."
"But what if she does!" Applejack wailed. "I don't want to risk losing her at all."
Spike smiled. "Come with us tonight, get her drunk and then make a move." Spike instructed.
"What?" She asked, wondering what he just said.
"Get her drunk enough to cloud her judgment, but not enough to make her forget everything. If you two hit things off then she's going to have some things to think out. You can get her." Spike repeated his advice.
"Have you always been like this? And since when do you drink?" Applejack questioned.
"Since when have you owned a alcohol?" Spike returned. "And I just act like this around Twilight. Now that I have something that prevents you from telling her." Spike motioned to the door where Rainbow was. "I can act like myself again."
"Well played." Applejack swallowed. "How do you know that that would work?"
"I've played matchmaker more times then you'd think." Spike revealed to her. "And not always for others..."
"Have you... done things with a mare before?" Applejack hedged with curiosity.
"I have. Multiple times." He answered flatly. "Have you?"
She just pawed the floor with her hoof. "...No..." Rainbow Dash... You lucky bitch...
"So why are you telling me this anyway?" Spike pondered.
"Ah just had to tell someone." She sighed. "It was eating at me. She's really nice... and beautiful." That was... incredibly easy. "Thanks, Spike."
"Alright. Cool." Spike started towards the door. "So just get ready for tonight, think about what I said, and relax about it." Spike exited her house and met up again with Rainbow outside. "Com'on let's go."
"Is she coming?"Rainbow asked, anxiously. "What did you two talk about?"
"Yes. She is." Spike grinned. "Tonight's going to be a good night for you."
"What does that mean?" She demanded.
"You'll see." He looked over his shoulder to see Applejack watching them leave, most likely watching Dash leave. "Turn around and wave." Spike ordered while doing so himself. He could see Applejack blush from there. "Good night indeed. Hey if you do hitting things off with her, you have to tell me if she tastes like apples... I have a theory."
"Okay." She agreed.
"I think that she eats so many apples that it permanently stained her mouth to that flavor. Not necessarily a bad thing, but I still wonder about it." Spike explained.
"Oh, you were talking about her mouth?" Rainbow snickered.
"Nice." Spike laughed and brohoofed her.
***
"Do you need me there to ask Rarity to come with us?" Rainbow offered while the stopped at Rarity's boutique. ]
"No, I don't freeze up like you do. For some reason you've gotten worse then you originally were... Strange." Spike pondered it. "Anyway, I'm fine, just go get ready for tonight." With that, Rainbow walked away and Spike knocked on the door.
"Hello, Spike." Rarity greeted.
"Hey girl." Spike returned. She motioned for him to come inside. "Me, Dash, and Applejack were goin' out tonight, you want to come?"
"Dash and Applejack?" She wondered. "Where would we be going? Are any of the others coming?"
"We were going to hit up a club, music dancing... Also, you should know that it wasn't a serious question." Spike grinned.
"Why would Rainbow and Applejack come and no-pony else?" She questioned.
"Because... The others are busy." Spike lied with a smile.
"uh-huh..." Rarity eyed him suspiciously. "You and Rainbow seem to spend more time together then you let on..."
"I'll be completely honest with you, Rarity." Spike started his story mode. "Before I met you, I met her first. I'm not going to lie, I thought about it. But then she pulled me to the side after Twilight left to your house and said these exact words: 'Hey, who's your bitch? I think she's planning on getting you a leash. By the way, I farted on her when I landed on her. I got to be somewhere, PEACE!' Then she flew away. And all thought's of having a non-platonic relationship with her was destroyed."
"So Rainbow's the same way as you?" Rarity smiled.
"Yeah, we act a tad differently when we're alone." He snickered. "But I digress. She's more like a brother, you're the only mare for me." Besides the many that I already plowed before you.
"You see anything wrong with that? She's your brother?" Rarity giggled.
"Well, Twilight's sister slash mother and Rainbow's best friend slash brother. I've thought about it before, It's really confusing." Spike rubbed his temples.
"Why is Applejack coming?" She asked. "I understand you and Rainbow but a club doesn't seem like her thing."
"Don't worry about it. It's an... Experiment between... Two parties..." Spike hedged.
"And that means...?" She asked.
"Don't worry about it." He re-stated. "So are you coming?"
"Sure, sounds grand." Rarity smiled. Spike returned the grin and started for the door. "Are you going to wear your suit?"
"Is that even a question?" Spike laughed as he walked out the door. "I'll pick you up tonight."
***
"I hope they play some Alex Bear." Spike said while the four of them walked to the party. They were ready for the night.
"Alex Bear?" Rarity asked. "Who's that?"
"You know, the bear that did that awesome song in that Internet commercial." Spike reminded them. "Or Abell."
"I know who Alex Bear is but not Abell." Rainbow said, while they approached the club. Spike was the only one with clothes. Rainbow had a blush that was being faded by the chemicals Spike had given her.
"That's insane! It SHOULD be the other way around!" Spike shouted. "Abell, the cow with the voice of an angel!"
"Set fire to the rain?" Applejack asked, pretty much in a constant blush around Rainbow.
"Yes. That's her!" Spike confirmed.
"Did you drink any of that liquid you gave me?" Rarity whispered over to Spike.
"Nah, I'm fine now." Spike wrapped his arm around her. "I don't need that stuff anymore." She blushed through her artificial confidence.
They reached the front door of the club, there was an enormous line that wrapped around the block. "It's going to take forever to get in!" Rarity whined.
"Yo Spike!" The bouncer recognized a normal. "What's up buddy!"
"Hey buddy!" Spike greeted the large stallion with a bro-hoof. "We just came to have the usual. How's she doin'?"
The three behind them just stared in awe. "She's great, we both are. You're not leaving without some shots with me!" The bouncer looked behind him to the three mares watching and got in closer to him so they wouldn't hear. "Three tonight? Nice job, doing work for our ratio."
"Com'on let's go." Spike motioned for the three to follow him.
"No lines?" Rainbow asked.
"I know the owner and I'm friends with all the employees, of course no lines." Spike ginned.
"How often do you come here?" Rarity questioned, eyeing him with a smirk.
"Not that much." Spike stated.
"Hey Spike! Get over here you son of a bitch!" A familiar blue-haired unicorn with shades called out Spike as she walked over to them. "How could you come here and not give me a damn hug!"
"Wasup, Vinyl!" The group just stared while they somehow brohoofed and hugged at the same time. "Not very often. I mentioned the owner, this is Vinyl, also known as Djpon3."
"Oh shit. I got to go, I'll be back. Don't pass out until I come back." They laughed and she left to go drop the bass.
"Sooo..." Rainbow started.
"Fine. They're like family here." He led them to the bar. "Hey Optimus! Four shots of the good stuff!"
"I haven't seen you in a while! These are on the house." The barkeep grinned and got back to work.
"Thanks man." Spike thanked him.
"Optimus?" Applejack giggled.
"My little nickname for him." He informed while handing them all their drinks. "Tonight will be awesome." He declared before the four of them downed their alcohol. Applejack and Rarity choked on the taste. Noobs...
***
Everything was going great. They were all having fun, Spike and Rarity were taking at the bar and Applejack and Rainbow loosened up a bit after doing a few more shots and were dancing awkwardly with each other to the booming music. Then a new stallion trotted up to the bar. "Hey bitch you got a nice plot, don't ya!" He interrupted Rarity's story.
"Excuse me?" She cried. Her cry got the attention of the other two, they watched from a distance.
"I said you got a nice ass!" He continued.
Rage flared in Spike, but he kept all the stabbing rage in his head as he thought out his plan. "Leave. Now."
"Oh this is going to be amazing." Rainbow told Applejack, they were still blushing, but they could talk to each other now. They were still unable to talk about relevant topics, though. "Spike's awesome in these situations."
"Are ya sure about that?" Applejack said doubtfully. "That guy looks pretty big, he's like four times Spike's size!"
"Is this who you're with?" The unseemly horse laughed. "You apparently have NO standards!" He bent down to Spike's level. "What are you going to do about it you little prick?"
"Last warning. Leave. Now." Spike warned.
"I'm going to plow your girl right here. There's nothing you can do about it, cause you're a little bitch." He continued. The barkeep slid over a blue drink with a little umbrella in it. Spike nodded in appreciation for it. He grabbed it and took a sip while just staring at the rude pony. "Nice drink, fag." Spike threw the beverage all over him, made sure to soak him in the fruity drink. "That's all?" He laughed.
Rarity facehoofed with embarrassment for the lack of valor. "Um... Maybe not this time." Rainbow said, getting ready to step in and help her friend.
"You better have brought lube, ya little prick! Cause after I plow your girl ima-"
Spike cut him off with a click of his tongue the released an ember though his mouth. Every-pony watched in silence as the ember reached the soaked pony and ignited him into a ball of fire. "You've obviously never met me before, you mother-fucker!" Spike shouted over the roar of the flames.
"Spike!" Rarity called.
"Don't worry, it'll just burn long enough to teach him his place." As he finished saying that the fire died. "That was a fruity drink that was barely alcoholic at all." He turned around and grabbed his drink that was in a beer pitcher. "Jack Daniels. How long do you think this will burn for?"
"I'm sorry." He apologized.
"Don't you ever fucking say shit about me or her ever again or you will be charred beyond recognition." Spike cautioned him. "Get the fuck out of here." And with that, he fled. The club was still silent, though. Spike stood up on his stool with his drink in hand. "Vinyl! Spin that shit!" She happily obliged and resumed the booming music. Spike took in a mouthful of his drink and spouted a column of fire into the air that made the crowd of ponies cheer back into the hyped party mode. For it was not a true party until some asshole is set aflame.
These power-outages are a real bitch!
Thanks for reading and comment with your opinions or ideas, story-wise. What? I'm lazy, and will eventually run out of things to write about. Thumb and favorite! FOR GLORY!