//------------------------------//
// Part IV:  I'll Stand By You || Chapter 41:  Partings For A Time 
// Story: Full Circle 
// by Sotharan 
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The next day, it was time for Princess Celestia to return to Equestria.  All were sad to see her go, but there was no despair, because they knew they would see her again, if they wished.  The group had gathered in front of the portal; Sunset, Princess Twilight, the seaponies, Sunset and Twilight’s friends, and the human Celestia and Luna.
“Farewell, friends of Sunset,” Princess Celestia said to the five human girls.  “Once again I thank you for taking care of my darling fill-girl!” she corrected herself with a laugh.  “Oh, I suppose either term is appropriate,” she mused, looking at Sunset, who just shrugged her shoulders.  “Anyway, I am so grateful.  When Twilight returned after the Fall Formal, she told me she had left Sunset in good hands.  Now that I know she meant your hands, I know that was an understatement!”  The five girls beamed at her happily and proudly.
“Farewell, human Celestia and Luna.  Thank you for loving Sunset so deeply and taking her into your own home and family.  Once again, there is no way for me to express my gratitude adequately.  But if you think of something, let me know!  In any case, I will be contributing to her support as we discussed.”  The two administrators returned the Princess’s smile happily.
Sunset was surprised.  Princess Celestia smirked at her affectionately.  “I said I wasn’t going to do this halfway, Sunset.  If you are going to be my daughter, I am going to help take care of you, even if I can’t always be here in person.”
Sunset shook her head in wonder.  The Princess turned to the seaponies.  “Now remember, my poor, sweet seaponies, what we have discussed.  The offer I have made stands for the rest of your lives.  Know that I am very concerned for you, and I will be checking in on you often.”	
Adagio, Aria, and Sonata couldn’t hold back.  They rushed the Princess and hugged her.  She returned their hug gladly, then turned to Twilight.  “Twilight, I’ll see you in a couple days, right?”
“Yes ma’am!” Twilight said with a wink and a smile.
Princess Celestia then gestured for the large bag that Twilight had carried.  From it, she produced six large leather-bound books.  “Here are some parting gifts,” she said.  She handed one to Principal Celestia, one to Adagio, and four to Sunset, whose eyebrows threatened to leap off her forehead in surprise.  
“Are these like Sunset’s book?” asked Principal Celestia.
“Yes,” the Princess confirmed.  “They will allow us to communicate without having to pass through the portal.  Just write in it and your words will appear in my copy back in Equestria.  But these are advanced versions.  If you use red ink, my copy will flash red.  Then I will know it is an emergency.  There is one for Celestia and Luna, one for the seaponies, and four for Sunset:  one that Twilight will have the other copy of, in case you two were running low on pages, a new one for Sunset and me, and one each for Princess Luna and Princess Cadance.”
There was a murmur of excitement as the various groups conferred about how nice it was going to be to keep in touch.  “Luna and Cadance?” Sunset asked with curiosity.
“Yes, love.  They want to get to know you.  After all, they are going to be your aunt and your cousin, respectively.  All right.  Time for me to go.  Would you all…give me and Sunset a minute?” Princess Celestia asked almost shyly.
“Of course,” Principal Celestia answered, and gently shepherded the rest of the group over to the doors of the high school, leaving Sunset and the Princess by themselves at the portal.
“There is too much to say, and too little time.  So, I hope you will visit soon, my sweet filly,” said the Princess.
Sunset took a deep breath, trying to keep her composure.  “These will help,” she pointed out, holding up her new books.  
Celestia put her hands on Sunset’s shoulders.  “Remember what we discussed, Sunset.  I know you aren’t comfortable with the idea yet, but I truly do bear a large part of the blame for our falling out.”
Sunset looked uncertain.  
“My dear, whenever two ponies who care deeply for each other have an argument like we had, it is rare for all the blame to belong to just one of them.  Usually there is blame enough to go around,” said Celestia sadly.
“But why does there have to be blame at all?  Why can’t we just…move on?”
“Because you are a sapient being, Sunset, and you deserve to be treated with respect by everypony, even by me.  Especially by me.  So, if I have wronged you, and I know that I have, ignoring that risks disrespecting your dignity.”
The younger woman sighed.  “I’ll think about it.  I just don’t want to be angry at you.”
“You don’t have to get angry if you don’t want to.  But that doesn’t mean there isn’t something to forgive.  Now.  I have all the paperwork and I’ll file it as soon as I get back.  Once it is done I’ll let you know.  And again, no pressure, but when you are ready to have a coronation let me know.  I…can’t deny that I’m really excited about it!” Princess Celestia gushed.
Sunset snorted affectionately.  “I’ll let you know.  It…might be a while.”
Then the Princess hugged her new daughter extensively, causing Sunset to almost vibrate with happiness.  Then, Celestia stepped away and toward the portal.  She looked back at Sunset with a wink and a smile.  “I love you!” she breathed simply.
“I love you too…mom!” Sunset answered.  Celestia’s smile grew broader, and then she passed through the portal.  After a few moments she felt an arm around her shoulder.  Looking up, she saw the face of Principal Celestia smiling down at her.
Sunset hugged her with fierce joy.  “I’m the luckiest girl in the universe,” Sunset told her, shaking her head in wonder.  “I get two of you!”  




Dear Princess Cadence,


I hardly know where to begin.  When Princess Celestia Mom told me that you wanted to communicate with me, I was amazed.  I treated you horribly, and now I understand why.  There is no excuse for my behavior, but perhaps I can help you at least understand why I acted the way I did.

You see…I had always dreamed of Princess Celestia adopting me.  Yes, I am – was – an orphan.  You may have already known that.  Many orphans dream of having parents, and I was no exception.  I promise you that at first I didn’t want to be a princess or anything like that – I just wanted Celestia to be my mom, because I loved her so much. 

As I moved into my teens, and no adoption was forthcoming, I started to get bitter, deep inside.  But my desire didn’t change.  I thought what many children think – if I could achieve the impossible, if I could be the best of the best, then I would finally earn her approval and she would welcome me as her own daughter.  So I threw myself into my studies with something close to fury.  But no matter how hard I worked, and no matter what I achieved, while she would often tell me she was proud, and would embrace me and treat me like a daughter, our relationship didn't change formally.  And, I suppose I never did hear those magical words:  “I love you.”

An observer might have said we were mother and daughter in all but name, but to a lonely orphan, name matters, and words matter.  I started to wonder if she was secretly ashamed of me somehow – if there was some reason why I wasn’t good enough to be her official daughter.  Those…were painful thoughts.  I’ve been so glad to learn since that that was never the case.

The bitterness grew month by month.  I’d always had a streak of pride, but as my efforts in my studies led me to new heights, I came to believe that I was superior to other unicorns – and that Princess Celestia was refusing to recognize it by not giving me my proper place at her side.  As far as I was concerned, I deserved to be her daughter.  I was entitled.  That was all me – I can’t blame her for any of that.  

Then you came.  Somehow, you had spontaneously become an alicorn.  And what did she do?  She didn’t even know you, but she immediately adopted you as her niece (you already having parents of your own).  I had been with her for eight years by then, and nothing similar had been done for me.  I couldn’t have been more envious.  This led me to treat you coldly, and with hostility.    

One day, after she and I had an argument about the value of relationships with other ponies, she showed me the mirror.  We haven’t discussed in detail – yet – what she intended at that time, but I get the feeling I saw something she didn’t expect.  I saw myself ascended, as an alicorn with a golden crown.  From then on, it was all I could think of.  It seemed to confirm to me that I was good enough to be Princess Celestia’s daughter and that I was in fact superior to all other unicorns.  But still she didn't offer to adopt me or make me a Princess.  I wanted to understand how to achieve what you had achieved, and what the mirror seemed to be showing as my destiny.  I thought if I could become an alicorn, it would force her to accept me as her child – maybe even as her equal.

Ironically, she was trying to show me how to achieve my full potential, through friendship with other ponies.  If only I had listened…    

I started to conduct forbidden research on my own, stealing into the Star Swirl Wing and reading every book I could find.  Eventually, I found what I sought.  I found a spell that could cause, or assist at least, a pony to become an alicorn.  I had only one thought when I found this spell:  Mom knew about this spell, and still had not used it to transform me.  She found me in the Star Swirl Wing at that very moment, and we had our final, disastrous argument.  

Thinking all this through has not been easy.  In the months after I was disciplined by the Rainbow Wave, I convinced myself, in the depths of my guilt, that I was completely, solely at fault in all that I just described.  But it was Mom herself who began to convince me that she was at fault as well.  You probably already know this, but when she came to me, she explained why she hadn’t adopted me, and admitted that she should have, and that she wanted to, but she hadn’t out of fear.  Fear about what happened with Aunt Luna, and fear that the nobles would make my life a living hell, since I cannot establish my bloodline.  Then she asked me if she could still adopt me, and of course I said yes.  And she said all the things I’ve needed to hear from her for so long – that she loves me, and is proud of me.  Well, proud of me now, anyway.  So our relationship is beginning to heal, and I suppose I now see that while a lot of the evil I’ve done has been my own, I had some understandable reactions to a hard situation for a young, confused, insecure, and immature filly.  And I’ve learned that my mother, as awesome, old, powerful, and wise as she is, is really a regular pony with fears and wounds, who sometimes makes mistakes.    

None of this excuses how I treated you, and it’s not my intent to ask that.  I don’t even ask to be understood, though I hope you’ll try.  The main purpose of this letter is to apologize, abjectly, for hurting you and treating you with such unkindness and disrespect.  I regret it, Princess.  I truly do.  I wish I could put into words how much.

Do you see the spots of moisture on the pages of your book?  I’ve always wondered if shed tears are communicated through these journals…

I have learned that the things I failed to show you:  kindness, loyalty, generosity, laughter, and honesty – are so crucial to being alive as to create a magic all their own.  A powerful magic with which you are no doubt familiar – the Magic of Friendship itself.  For what is Love, but a kind of ultimate friendship?

Please.  Please forgive me.  I hope to have a chance to make this apology in person as well if you are willing to see me.


I remain
Your most apologetic cousin,


Sunset Shimmer 





Dear Sunset,


My dear, dear cousin.  Please don’t be afraid!  Of course I forgive you!  With all my heart!  Your letter was so sweet, and it did help me to understand you better, though, to be perfectly honest, I already knew much of what you told me, and have felt mostly compassion toward you for some time now.  

Being the Princess of Love gives me a significant degree of insight into interpony relationships of all kinds.  It didn’t take me long when I met you to realize that you were in pain.  Deep pain.  I regret that I was unable to figure out why until after you left – I wanted to help you, but I was still too inexperienced, and insecure in my own status as a princess, to intervene.

But let me tell you (and this may comfort you in some way, or at least further validate what you felt), when I found out you were an orphan and all the pieces fell into place, I went straight to Aunt Celestia and I chewed her a new one.  I was livid!  I completely understood how you must have felt when I showed up.  

But to her credit, she was already very sorry for how she’d behaved.  When you left, and she realized she’d lost her temper and sent you away in anger – Sunset, it broke her heart.  I can’t tell you how happy it makes me, what a relief it is, that the two of you are communicating again, and are growing into a healthy, supportive, loving relationship with each other.  I like to think I’ve played some small part in that  ;D

And I’m so excited to get to know you better, and be your cousin!  We’re going to have so much fun!  I hope you can visit soon.  

Oh Sunset, it’s so clear how much you’ve changed.  Twi has told me a lot, and from what I hear you’ve not only turned it around, but now you’re a hero.  Once again, rest assured that I forgive you, and that I am very, very glad to be your cousin.

Oh and for heaven’s sake, call me Cadence.  Or even Cady.  Yes, Cady.


Love,     
Cady


P.S.  Yes, the tears do come through.  I hate to think of you crying while you wrote that – please visit soon so I can give you a hug!




Dear Princess Luna,

Thank you so much for the journal, and thank you again for coming to my dreams and encouraging me a few months ago.  It was only my second week of recovery from the Rainbow Wave, and your visit and kind words contributed greatly to my overcoming of the challenges of that week.

May I ask you a few questions?  I must admit, I don’t know much about you or where you came from.  I did recognize you when you came to me, but I think that few ponies would have.  Only because I had read so many old books and put a few things together had I realized that Mom once had a sister, and that her name was probably Luna, and that she was probably Princess of the Moon.  There were also legends that you could walk in dreams and even influence or control them.  The Dreamwalker they called you, and the Mistress of Dreams.

You said some enigmatic things when you came to me, like you had also been burned by the Rainbow Wave – you knew what I was going through and understood me.  Will you help me understand?  I guess…you’re my aunt now.  Can I call you that?  Can I call you Aunt Luna?

Please write back soon.

Your niece,

Sunset





My dear niece,

It is a joy to write that.  My life is so much more full than it was not very long ago, from my perspective, and I know that my sister’s is much more full now as well.  But enough “enigmatic” hinting, as you put it.

First things first, however – you certainly may call me “Aunt” and I hope you will.  As I said in your dream, my sister has spoken much of you, and Twilight Sparkle has as well.  I look forward to knowing you better, as I think we have much in common.

You see, Sunset, I was Nightmare Moon.  Yes.  Me.  Just over one thousand years ago, now, I had grown jealous of my sister’s popularity.  It seemed to me that she received by far the greater share of the praise and attention of our subjects, while I was left to toil at night, when most ponies slept and few could appreciate my labors on behalf of my country.  In time the jealously took root, and I began, sadly, to look for ways to overcome my sister.  At first I did not intend to overthrow her – only to force her to recognize me as her equal and require our subjects to give me the adulation I thought was my due.  But soon my ambitions became greater.  I longed to plunge Equestria into everlasting night, so that all ponies would have no choice but to admire my moon, and the stars, and night gardens that I loved.  And I would rule alone.

But my sister is the stronger of the two of us, Sunset, and I no longer begrudge her that.  Back then, however, it meant that as I sought a way to overcome her, I turned to darker and darker magic, in an attempt to increase my own power.  Eventually, my forays into darkness led me to encounter an entity who called herself the Night Mare.  If I had met her a few years before, she would have been my mortal enemy, for she it was who poisoned the dreams of ponies, giving them restless and fearful sleep.  Long had I labored against her without knowing she was a personal enemy rather than a force of nature. 

Meeting her then however – oh, she had been watching and waiting.  I was ready.  She promised me power to cast Celestia down and to extinguish the sun itself, and, darkened as my heart had become, I listened to her, and joined myself with her, and together we became Nightmare Moon.

Straightaway I challenged my sister, and in the light of the moon there was battle over the Castle of the Two Sisters in the heart of the Everfree.  I struck a blow and Celestia fell, breaking the roof of the castle’s hall as she fell.  I laughed, thinking I had won, but when she rose into the air again, she wielded six objects that filled me with fear – the Elements of Harmony.

I knew what they were capable of.  With them Celestia and I had defeated Discord and had permanently forced the Windigos out of Equestria.  But still I resisted.  Nevertheless, tears in her eyes, Celestia defeated me, and I was exiled to the moon itself.

For a thousand years I wandered there, mostly in fevered dreams of my own.  I am grateful that the time passed quickly from my perspective – I am quite sure I did not consciously experience much of it.  Toward the end of my incarceration I became more lucid, and felt power returning to me.  Alicorn magic is not easy to restrain, and over the last decade of my time there I began to weave a spell that would return me to Equestria, there to face my sister once more.  For I knew that in wielding the Elements alone, she had broken her bond with them, for they are not made to be used by a single pony.  Only when two or more use them, in perfect Harmony, can their power be fully unleashed.  So I hoped that my sister had not found new bearers for the Elements, and that this time I could defeat her.

But my sister had taken thought for my return.  She too could read the signs that my power was waxing, and she looked for a student who could unite the Elements and call forth their power to defeat me again.  She found Twilight, and Twilight found her friends.  When I returned, Celestia went into hiding, knowing I could defeat her.  And I tried to tempt Twilight’s friends to betray her, for their friendships were then just a-borning.  But, incredibly (and thankfully) all five of them stood firm, and they made their way to the ruins of the Castle of the Two Sisters, where the Elements had slept for a millennium.

She defied me then – brave Twilight Sparkle, and her friends did not abandon her.  Their faithfulness invoked the Elements’ power, and I was struck by the Rainbow Wave once more.  But this time was different.  This time, the Elements were being used by more than one bearer, and their Harmony was strong.  So, instead of merely banishing me again, the Elements forced me to relive my wickedness, but this time from the perspective of the sister I had wronged.  I felt her sorrow as she watched me descend into darkness and evil, and felt her agony as I lifted my hooves against her.  I felt her heart cry as she exiled me to a thousand years of solitude, with only my darker half to keep me company.  I saw the fear and terror in the eyes of the ponies of Equestria as they beheld the maleovolent shadow I had become.  And last, but not least, I felt Tia’s loneliness as she endured centuries apart from me.

I was sorry then, Sunset.  Oh, was I sorry.  You know.  You understand.

The Elements did one more thing for me that was merciful.  They freed me from the Night Mare.  What became of her I do not know, but in that hour, as I faced the pain my deeds had caused to others, for the first time in countless years I was free to desire to change.  Right then, in tears, I begged Tia to forgive me, and she did.  She had been waiting to forgive me for so long.  But my recovery was hard – I think you experienced the same thing.  A moon of weakness, nightmares, and crushing guilt.  But Tia helped me through.  I am doing better now, though regret is a nearly constant companion.  The regret is waning, though.  Week by week, month by month, it is getting a little better.

Sunset, it sounds like you too have repented of your past and are striving to treat others with kindness.  I want you to know that I understand so well.  Let us be an encouragement to each other.  Please, when the regret and remorse weigh heavily on you, write me of it.  I shall write back and share the burden.  I hope that you will do the same for me.

Please come and visit soon. 

Much love,
Aunt Luna