//------------------------------// // The Mountains of Dashness // Story: Ofolrodi // by Imploding Colon //------------------------------// "Are th-they gone?!" Ariel panted and shivered. With limp limbs, she threw herself into the back of the wagon between Logan and Kepler. Trembling. "Are we in the clear?!" "Almost!" Flynn managed, steering the craft. "We just landed in this open patch!" Logan exclaimed, wiping his axe clean. "There's a rough stretch of rocky terrain in front of us, but past that is open season to Curveside!" "Then what are we waiting for?!" Ariel's voice cracked. "We must be cautious!" Kepler said, gripping tight as the vessel veered. "If we foolharrdily crrash the vessel now, we'll be picked clean by the edge of the forrest!" Rainbow Dash got situated in the middle of the wagon. "Whatever! Just gun it!" She looked over her shoulder. "Wildcard, can you boost us clear of those things' reach?" "Yes, we most certainly can," answered a cold voice. "Good. Then flap those wings—" Rainbow Dash did a double-take. She looked towards the port side of the craft. A pair of charcoal-brown eyes peered back. Rainbow raised a hoof... lingered... then blew out the side of her muzzle. "You know what? Buck it. We'll talk about it later." "Good," Flynn grunted, his horn glowing. "Because I'm not a big fan of it myself." "Baldy..." Logan grunted. "It's a miracle we haven't been abandoned by now!" "You wanna keep humping the bedsheets of redundancy or what?" Before Rainbow could interrupt the arguing stallions— "WhoooOOooOoooOoooahh!" Pinkie convulsed all over. "More dreadful boulders!" Rarity pointed into the twilight. "From Omega!" "We've got incoming!" Rainbow shouted. "We see it!" Kepler barked. "They'rre aimed forr ourr Alpha route!" "We must take evasive maneuvers!" Seraphimus boldly shouted. She flashed a cold look to the starboard side. "Jordan!" Wildcard was already nodding... already pivoting his wings. Seraphimus followed suit, and soon the two former Talon members helped Flynn steer the craft to the right and deeper into Curveside. In so doing, they rushed towards a mess of craggy landscape. "Hold on!" Flynn shouted. "Guhhhhhhh!" Ariel buried her face into Logan's side. Th-Thumppp! The hovering wagon ramped over a jutting cluster of rocks. The vehicle gained air—and speed—hurling itself towards a narrow patch of earth nestled between clefts of limestone. And that's when the rocks came. THUD! TH-THUD! They struck both sides of the trench looming above the wagon. Chunks of debris rained down, and the group was pelted by a barrage of pebbles and loose hail. "Come on! Come on!" Rainbow jumped backwards, landed on the rear of the wagon, and gave the vessel extra boost with her blurring wings. "Let's clear this dang thing!" "Easier said than d-done!" Flynn snarled, struggling to navigate the serpentine path between limestone ridges. "You are almost through!" Seraphimus exclaimed. "There's a patch of open twilight just beyond!" Wildcard whistled, pointing towards an overhanging cleft of rock towards the right. "I see it!" Seraphimus pivoted her wings. Both griffins steered the vessel sharply towards the left. In doing so, it grinded against the left side of the trench, nearly flipping the wagon over. "Grnnnnghhh—!" Flynn sweated, his horn fluctuating. "Keep it up! Keep it up!" Rainbow stammered, flapping her wings as the wagon sped at a forty-five degree angle through the narrow stretch. "We're almost through!" TH-TH-THUD!!! The last bevy of boulders landed above them. Rocks splattered, but they landed far behind the speeding craft. There was a blast of hot and cold air, and at last they were free from the range of the bombardment... and the trench proper. Open starlight and the dark curve of the plane appeared to them in a gloriously empty sky. "Hold on!" Logan shouted as— Th-Thwump! The wagon awkwardly landed even along the open plateau. It veered and spun wildly from the motion. "Decelerrate!" Kepler hollered as he and the rest of the Herald spun. "Declerrate, brrotherr!" "Guh!" Flynn gathered his wits, and—"M'shrynmh Thymmk!" The light in the wagon's undercarriage dimmed as all of the stones lost a bulk of their enchantment. Nevertheless, the wagon spun over a half-dozen times, finally griding to a stop. Steam rose from the lunar dust lining the base of the vehicle... and soon it was drifting slowly backwards towards curveside. Ariel clung to Logan, trying to hold onto her lunch. Wildcard and Kepler slumped back, wheezing for breath. Flynn rested limply, clutching his red-hot horn. And Rainbow Dash... She gazed at the waving sea of stalks—now a distant gray patch against the grim blackness of the Dark Side behind them... ...and she hollered. "Haaaaaaaah!" Ariel, Flynn, and Kepler winced. Nevertheless, Rainbow Dash hovered a few feet above the stalled wagon and beat her chest, screaming at the landscape through a devilish smirk. "Haaaa-Haaah!" Her ears folded back as she snarled. "Chew on that, you wet pile of poop spaghetti!" "Woohooo!" Pinkie Pie cheered beside her dizzied ghost friends. "You tell them tentacles who's boss, Dashie!" Seraphimus glared up at Rainbow, droning: "Must you?" "Think you're all that?!" Rainbow spat into the Edgeside horizon. "Well I've slept in forests even tougher than you! Burning forests! You're nothing! All you've got over crud like Everfree or Foxtaur is that you're flank-ugly as Tartarus! Haah!" "A most eloquent statement, Rrainbow One," Kepler wheezed, trying not to vomit. "You're dang right it's—" Rainbow spoke. RUMMMMMMMMMMMMMBLE!!! Rainbow's smirk faded. A loud, echoing groan rolled through the shaking plane. The Herald froze in place. Wildcard looked all around, his goggles rattling nervously. "Uhmmmmm..." Logan blinked. "What n-now?" Ariel's ears twitched. "An earthquake?" "Something..." Fluttershy spoke up meekly. "Something is happening." "What do you mean, darling?" Rarity asked. "Something is..." Fluttershy's eyes narrowed. "...shifting." RUMMMMMMMMMMMBLE!!! Rainbow's blue muzzle scrunched. "What in the fuzz...?" Applejack's pupils narrowed as she pointed a wild hoof. "Look, y'all!" "Oh my goodness!" Twilight Sparkle gasped. Before everypony's eyes, the entire forest of waving stalks lifted up. It was a cataclysmic event, accompanied by deafening salvos of exploding stone and soil. As the twilight from above settled on the shifting landscape, it became apparent that the chunk of earth wasn't actually earth at all... but instead an enormous wriggling entity—lengthy and narrow like an enlarged flatworm. A "cranial" portion of it reared towards the sky, blotting out galactic swirls and cosmos. The starlight caught a glint of impenetrable chitin, and the Herald could see an unfathomably huge set of mandibles opening and closing, accompanied by pinchers so large they could skewer islands and swallow entire villages whole. And if that wasn't enough, this thing could scream. "BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMGHHHHHH!!!" "It's..." Twilight Sparkle curled into a floating fetal position. "...it's alive!" "Ohhhhhhhhhhhh..." Fluttershy smiled in momentary wonder. Her turquoise eyes reflected the waving sea of flagella along the contintental entity's backside. "...that explains everything!" Seraphimus glared over at Rainbow Dash. "Do you wish to scoff at it now?" "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..." Rainbow winced so hard she nearly drooled. The sky quivered from several ear-splitting shrieks. The entity swung its massive head, overshadowing the Herald and their tiny wagon. As the horizon was swallowed up in blackness, it became abundantly clear that the creature was lunging its mandibles straight for them. The air heated up to a boiling point as thunder cascaded from all sides. Applejack drifted sideways, whispering into Rainbow's ear. "Run, sugarcube—" "Run! Move! GUN IT!" Rainbow shrieked. Flynn fumbled for a breath— Seraphimus shoved him over. "M'shrynmh L'fynym!" Everypony fell over in surprise as the former Talon Commander forced the wagon forward. Rainbow took her place as she and Wildcard accelerated the craft. In desperation, they sped the vehicle Curveside, attempting to outrun the ominous shadow. Within seconds, their frantic shouts were drowned out by the catastrophic noise of the creature landing all over them. THUDDDDDDDDD!!!