Stuck on Earth

by The Unremarkable Author


Planning Phase

"Shit."

Fail Safe sighed. "Yep."

"I guess we're stuck then?" Deep Thought said, half statement, half question. "It shouldn't have come to this, but here we are. We're on an alien planet with no way of getting back."

"Guys, please." Lea started. "We're not stuck here. I'm sure the scientists back at home are working hard to get the portal open. Now, we can sit here and mope, or we could continue with our mission and gather information about this planet."

"So far, we've seen more than enough land for us. There are trees and wildlife that go on as far as the eye can see and I don't think there's any intelligent life here." Connie offered.

"We don't know that for certain though. We still have to scout around and find any signs of life." Leading Edge said.

"I saw some birds a little while ago."

Leading Edge turned to Deep Thought "Intelligent life, we're looking for intelligent life."

"Speaking of finding things, how's about we find ourselves a better shelter? I don't think the tent is going to hold up against that." Connie said, pointing a hoof towards the west.

"That tent was built to withstand some of the worst weather pegasi could provide, what could be so bad as to warrant a-" Lea's eyes caught a glimpse of what was to come. His eyes widened, ears folded back, and his jaw dropped. Before him stood something that he's never seen before. He didn't know it at the time, but it was called a supercell by the natives of this planet.

To say a supercell is dangerous would be a gross understatement. The horizon was engulfed in a large rotating mass of clouds moving at an excess of a hundred fifty kilometers per hour. Houses could be seen being torn apart as the supercell traveled across the landscape.

"We have to go." Connie said, taking flight. "NOW!"

Almost tripping over their own legs, they ran in the opposite direction. Connie flew above the team, her gaze scanning the land frantically. The temperature dipped sharply, causing a few to shutter. Connie continued scanning until she found a suitable shelter for the team.

"Over there!" She yelled, pointing a foreleg at a building off in the distance.

The team changed their direction and ran towards the aforementioned building. Its roof slanted downwards, it towered over the team as if it were designed for giants. Connie hovered next to a window, pulling out a tiny mirror and placing it in front of it to peer inside.

The room was dark and the floor was clean. In one corner of the room, there was a rectangle with fabric on top lifted from the ground with wooden legs. Next to it there was a small table, an inactive lamp placed atop it. On the walls, a few posters were placed, but they couldn't be made out.

"Clear." Connie stated, folding up her telescoping mirror and placing it in one of her vest pouches. She pushed the window open and stepped inside. She did a quick sweep with her eyes and she turned her attention to the window. She took a rope ladder out of her saddlebags and secured it to the window frame. "Alright, get up here." She said, waving a hoof.

All non-unicorn military personnel were trained to use a portable ranged weapon known as a Thaumic Replicator (TR-1488). It replicates different offensive spells depending on how it was made. In this case, the ranged weapons had two settings on them, lethal and nonlethal. The device could be held in the mouth of the user. Bigger weapons were mounted to the sides of the user and triggered by a special button located on the forelegs.

Connie had one, and as such removed it from its holster and pointed it towards the entrance of the room while she waited for the team. Leading Edge was the first to enter, followed by Healing Touch, Deep Thought, and then finally Fail Safe.

Leading Edge pulled out his TR-1488 and motioned with his foreleg towards the door. The team stacked up next to the door, their weapons at the ready. After receiving confirmation, Healing Touch's horn lit and the door swung open. The team piled into a dark hallway. At the far end, there was a large room with several articles of furniture.

To their right was a closed door. Fail Safe stayed in the hallway while the team breached the room. After clearing the room, they joined him in the hallway and then moved further until they came to two doors, one on each side. Leading Edge motioned with a foreleg and they stacked up against the two doors. Fail Safe continued to watch the hallway while they cleared the rooms. The room on the right was a bathroom and the room on the left was a bedroom.

They moved onto the rest of the house and cleared it with no problems. They returned the house to its original state and closed the doors that had been opened and vice versa. They returned to the first room they entered as if that were their base of operations. They sat in a circle and began to talk.

"So what's the plan?" Connie said, raising her voice slightly to be heard over the wind.

"Well, our mission was to find land for our species, but we also need to make sure there's no intelligent life here." Lea said. "In the event that there is intelligent life in this world, we'd have to report back to command. They'd then provide us with a diplomacy team to contact their government if they had one. If everything went well, we'd have more land for our species." He finalized.

"Obviously that's gone down the drain ever since that portal closed." Fail Safe stated. "We already know the plan from before. What's the plan now?" He said, raising his voice again.

Leading Edge tapped a hoof to his chin. "Nothing comes to mind right now. Come back to me on that."

"Well if we don't have any plans what are we going to do?" Deep Thought asked. "The least we could do is figure out a short term plan, right?"

"No, the least we could do is nothing." Connie joked.

"You're not helping." Deep Thought said, his gaze drifting off to something distant. "Have you taken a look at these posters?"

"Uh, no?" Connie tilting her head. "Why?" A few of the members turned their heads to look at the posters. When Connie first saw them, she disregarded them as being unimportant. She hadn't really taken the time to examine them long enough to identify what was printed upon them.

"Rainbow... Dash?" Deep Thought muttered. "We're on a whole other planet. How do they know about her?"

"She's been dead for generations. Along with her friends." Fail Safe said with wide eyes.

"Not all of them." Deep Thought said. "Twilight Sparkle is still alive."

"Yeah, I know she's alive." Fail Safe clarified. "They know about Pinkie Pie too." Pointing a foreleg at another poster. "This is.. fucking creepy."

"You said it." Deep Thought said. "I'm not sure how I feel abo-" He stopped talking, his ears swiveled towards the door.

"What?" Connie said before being silenced by Deep Thought.

Deep Thought started stalking towards the door, careful to be as quiet as possible. The team had also gotten up and were aiming their TR-1488's at the door. Deep Thought motioned with his hoof and Healing Touch's horn lit. Before her magical influence could grasp the door handle, the door swung open revealing a creature standing on two legs. Once it saw all of the ponies, he froze in place, unable to move.

A beam of light struck the creature and it fell to the ground. Healing Touch and Deep Thought quickly lit their horns to prevent injury to the creature. They slowed its fall and dragged it into the room. Its hair was brown, it lacked a coat of fur, in the place of hooves, they had something akin to claws.

Connie was the first to break the silence. "Does this count as intelligent life?"