When Vinyl arrived at the Tasty Treat, it was painfully clear to her that she had been expected. Though everypony in the restaurant was trying to act like nothing unusual was going on, there was a constant feeling that all eyes were on her as she walked in and sat down. Glancing under the table, she found a small device emitting a faint red light.
“Yeahhh, that’s not gonna happen,” she said, casually crushing it with her hoof. The stallion at the table next to her visibly flinched, then suddenly became very interested in his menu. Vinyl rolled her eyes and began looking over her own menu. As if on cue, a waitress, barely containing her excitement, trotted past all the other tables to her.
“Oh my goodness, you’re Vinyl Scratch!” said the mare, practically dancing on her hooves. “I can’t believe you’re here, in my restaurant, and I’m serving you! This is amazing!”
“Heh, that’s right. You know, you’re in luck. I just happen to have my autograph pen with me right now…” said Vinyl, a wry smile forming on her lips. The waitress’s eyes bulged.
“Y-you mean it? You would sign someth—hold on, I have to go get something!” she said, bolting into the back of the restaurant.
Vinyl leaned back in her chair and chuckled. “Heh. That’s why I never leave home without it.”
Just as quickly as she left, the waitress arrived back, panting heavily and carrying a well-worn record sleeve. “Here… Got this… for you… to sign…”
Vinyl couldn’t help but be impressed as she read the faded title. “Wow…” she thought. “They stopped making these ages ago. Even I gave away my last copy years ago.”
“It’s my favorite one,” said the waitress proudly. “I remember first hearing it as a kid and thinking ‘Wow, I wish I could do that.’ It’s what made me start listening to your music, and I even went back and bought all the other albums so I could hear what I’d been missing out on!” Vinyl’s eyes brightened behind her goggles as she signed the sleeve with a practiced motion. “But lately I’ve been saving up so I can go to one of your concerts and see you in person, but here you are, in my restaurant! I’m still going to the concert obviously, because the music is important too, but I’m still so happy that I’m finally—”
Her gushing was interrupted by a loud gurgle from Vinyl’s stomach. Her face reddened and she looked down sheepishly.
“Oh, right. You’re probably hungry, and I’ve just been talking so much that I forgot to serve you. Vinyl Scratch. Because I’m serving Vinyl Scratch right now, since that’s my job, serving ponies food. Ponies like Vinyl Scratch, who I’m serving right now. Heh, um, what would you like to eat?”
Vinyl’s smile widened slightly. “I’ll just take some appetizers for now, thanks.”
The waitress cocked her head in confusion. “Um, which one would you like though? We have three different appetizers; the naan, the—” Another loud rumble from Vinyl’s stomach interrupted her.
“All of them.”
“Oh, um, right. I’ll be out with that right away!” said the waitress, quickly grabbing her record sleeve and disappearing into the kitchen.
Vinyl smiled and leaned back some more in her chair, putting her hooves behind her head and sighing happily. Her good mood came crashing down, however, when she saw the bright flash of a camera, and was reminded why she was here in the first place. “Oh, right. I have to do this stupid date thing,” she grumbled, sinking back into her chair.
She sipped her water, adjusted her goggles, and glanced at the clock. “They’re already 5 minutes late. Maybe he won’t show,” she thought. “I wonder how long I should wait before I leave. 15 minutes? Can I leave after 15 minutes?” Her thoughts were interrupted, however, when a gray mare sat down in the chair opposite to her.
“Sorry, you’re going to have to sit somewhere else,” said Vinyl, glancing upwards and trying desperately to hide the annoyance in her voice. “This spot is taken for, ugh, my date.”
“You are Vinyl Scratch, are you not? I’m afraid that I am your date for tonight,” said Octavia, adjusting her bow tie and taking a seat across from Vinyl.
“WHAT?!” yelled Vinyl, her jaw dropping. Immediately, three ponies that had previously been casually eating pulled out cameras and began to take pictures. “I-I mean, um,” said Vinyl, quickly correcting herself, “I’m just surprised you’re dressed so, um, fancy?”
Octavia looked down at her bow tie, drooping to the side and barely hanging onto her neck, then back at Vinyl. “Right, well. Thank you, I suppose.”
“I uh, sorry, I just…” said Vinyl, glancing around and lowering her voice. “I just wasn’t expecting, well, a mare.”
Octavia let out a short scoff. “Yes, that was a bit of a surprise to me as well. I’d rather keep this as… professional as possible. No offence, but you aren’t really my thing.”
“N-no, I totally get it. I’m not really excited to have to do this either,” stammered Vinyl.
A long pause sat between them for an uncomfortably long time. Both of them glanced at the completely non-suspicious ponies sitting at the tables around them. Octavia nervously fiddled with her bow tie. Vinyl coughed.
“Soooo, uh, I hear you’re in the Canterlot Orchestra. That must be cool,” said Vinyl, trying to break the silence.
“Yes, that’s right.”
Another uncomfortable pause. Vinyl began nervously glancing around her, while Octavia opened her menu and began leafing through it, trying and failing to make it seem like a casual motion. Luckily the silence was soon interrupted by the return of the waitress, who was carrying a tray of appetizers. The portions were clearly much bigger than was shown on the menus.
“I’m back with your appetizers!” she chirped, setting down the tray. “Also I just want to thank you again for signing my album, it just means so much to me and I’m so happy that I’m serving you right now it’s so exciting!”
“Hey, anything for my fans,” said Vinyl, lowering her goggles and giving a sly wink. The waitress was somehow filled with even more excitement as she began giggling and dancing on her hooves like a filly.
“Ahem,” coughed Octavia, bringing the waitress back to reality. “I have a question about the menu, once you’re done prancing about.”
“O-oh, I’m so sorry, ma’am. I guess got a little carried away there.”
“Perhaps a little,” replied Octavia, gently rolling her eyes. “These little pepper symbols next to all the dishes, what do they mean?”
“Oh, that’s to show how spicy they are. One pepper means it’s medium hot, and five peppers means it’s ultra-insanely hot.”
“Oh… Well, you wouldn’t happen to have anything that isn’t spicy at all?” asked Octavia, gradually becoming more and more worried as her eyes scanned the menu trying to find anything without the red symbol.
“I’m afraid not. Our restaurant prides itself on having the spiciest food in town, and so we don’t have many options for people who didn’t come here for it. The only thing thing we have that isn’t spicy is the naan bread, but that isn’t exactly a meal.”
Octavia began to sweat and nervously fiddled with her tie. “Erm… Well, I suppose I’ll just have that then, thank you.”
“Well, I suppose we could just bring out another order of bread,” said the waitress, giving her a look before eagerly turning to Vinyl. “And are you ready to order yet, Vinyl Scratch?”
“Yeah, I’ll just have whatever you’d recommend,” said Vinyl. “Surprise me, y’know?”
“Ooo, I know just the thing!” squeed the waitress, before scooping up their menus and disappearing into the kitchen once again.
There was another silence after the waitress left, this time broken by Octavia.
“Do they alway treat you like that?” she asked, politely taking a piece of bread and placing it on her plate.
“Treat me like what?” said Vinyl, wolfing down her piece and reaching for another.
“Like some sort of… Idol. Surely you noticed how that waitress was worshipping you.”
“Oh yeah, that,” replied Vinyl, grinning and gulping down another bite. “Yeah, it’s pretty great. I get fans coming up to me all the time, asking for autographs and pictures. Why, don’t you have fans too?”
“Well yes, of course I do,” said Octavia, straightening in her chair. “I just don’t get quite that… Level of enthusiasm. Most of the people that listen to my music are nobleponies, and they tend to be much more contained. I do get quite a few paparazzi, but they aren’t exactly fans in the traditional sense.” She took a bite of the bread. Not bad.
“Oh man, you’re missing out. Every time I meet with a fan of my music, it’s like I’m already best friends with them, even though we’re meeting for the first time. It’s an awesome feeling.”
Octavia let out a small scoff. “I’ve never found talking to fans to be all that enjoyable. Letting random strangers into my personal life like that seems rather frightening.” She looked down and sighed. “Which is why this whole dating business has been especially unpleasant. I've never been too public with my personal life before, and now here I am, having it forced into the spotlight, at least if all the paparazzi around here are any indication."
Vinyl's face fell along with her. "Yeah, this dating thing sucks. Sound Wave sucks. Everything about this sucks.”
A small smile crossed Octavia’s lips. “Quite. I may have worded it a bit differently, but you’ve hit the nail on the head. Everything about this sucks.”
As the night went on and their food was brought out, their conversation gradually picked up. At one point there was a heated debate over whether a “wub” counted as an instrument, but other than that there was nothing that any idle photographer could perceive as an argument. However, there was a certain distance to the exchange, as if the two were talking merely to extend the conversation, rather than learn more about each other. Eventually, once all the food was gone and the waitress had insisted that dinner was on the house, Vinyl decided to ask the question Octavia had been waiting for.
“So, do you think they’ll buy it?” she said in a conspiratorial whisper.
“Well, we have been here for quite some time. I just worry that if someone’s been listening in, they might get the wrong impression. Or I suppose the right impression, just not the one we’re hoping for.”
“If you’re worried about bugs, don’t worry. I took care of it before you came in,” replied Vinyl.
Octavia’s eyes widened slightly. “We were bugged? I knew he was crazy, but I didn’t think he’d go quite that far.”
“I kind of figured he’d try something like it. Like I said though, I took care of it. If he has a problem with it, then too bad. I’m not letting some creep listen in on me so they can print it in tomorrow’s paper. This is bad enough already.”
“Well, I’m glad you found it. I’m not very fond of prying eyes and ears.”
A short silence between them.
“I think I’ll be leaving now. While I will admit that tonight wasn’t quite as bad as I’d feared, I do hope we can keep this whole business on a professional level. No offence, of course,” said Octavia, getting up from her chair.
“Yeah, none taken. I just wanna do the bare minimum I have to to keep things believable.”
“Good. And as soon as possible, we’re ending this ridiculous charade.”
“Agreed,” said Vinyl, holding out a hoof. Octavia just stared at it in confusion.
“What are you doing?”
“It’s a hoofbump. Y’know, see you later? C’mon, it’ll look great for the cameras.” She gestured to the half-dozen ponies that were now trying to inconspicuously point their cameras at the pair.
“Oh… Um, right,” said Octavia, slowly bringing her hoof up to meet Vinyl’s. Several camera flashes came from nearby tables. “Well, if that’s over, I’ll just be going then.”
“Yeah. See ya later, I guess,” replied Vinyl.
As Octavia made her way out the door and began to walk back to her penthouse, one thought stood out in her mind above all the others.
“I’m gonna need a loooooot of cider to get through tonight,” she muttered to herself.