Noble Blade stirred uneasily and opened his eyes. For some odd reason his head hurt quite a bit and his vision was a fuzzy blur. The only thing he could distinguish was a strange purple mass in front of his face. After he looked at it for a little bit, he blinked eye crud out of his tear ducts.
Is that really what I think it is? he thought miserably. Oh please don't be what I think it is...
But after he examined the strange purple object in front of his face, he groaned inwardly. It was exactly what he thought it was.
I'm staring directly at the Princess's butt.
It looked like the Princess's butt--well, her cutie mark, anyway--though it was hard for him to be absolutely certain about that, as he had never before had the, ah, privilege to examine the Princess's butt from upside down, which it currently appeared to be, or from this uncomfortably close range.
And how he had appeared at said angle and range was entirely baffling.
He said, "Um, did I miss anything?"
"NOBLE!" a feminine voice above him screamed in happiness, then gave an embarrassed laugh. "Hang on there. We're in a biiiiiit of a situation here."
So it was the Princess's butt after all. Noble shrugged weakly. He might as well take a bit of comfort in that. Looking up he saw Twilight's legs, her hooves- and an astonishingly close-up view of Firestorm's face as he held on to Twilight's hooves in a death grip.
It could have been worse. He could have woken up next to Firestorm's butt instead.
"Oh, hello, Firestorm," he said blithely. "Are you doing well?"
Firestorm looked over his shoulder nervously. "I hope so..."
Noble Blade followed his gaze. Past him rose a long, long vertical shaft that faded into infinite blackness. Which was when he realized that-
"Wait a second," he said, then squinted. "I'm not looking up at all, am I?"
"Nope," Firestorm said simply.
Noble sighed. "This is what you mean by in a bit of a situation?"
"Yep," Twilight strained from above.
"Ah," was all he could say. "I guess I know now where I stand."
Firestorm looked up at him incredulously.
"Well, lie. Hang. Whatever." He groaned. Why did his head have to hurt so much? There was a moment of silence, then Noble said, "How did we end up like this again?"
This time, it was Firestorm's turn to let out an embarrassed laugh. "Well, you see, um..." he started, then spoke as if it hurt to let the words out. "We, ah, got attacked in the elevator... it got shut down... and now here we are hanging for our lives in the shaft with no way out." His cheeks were flaming more than his hair.
Noble was silent for just a bit, then said, "Just like in the movies?"
"Just like in the movies," Firestorm confirmed uncomfortably.
"I don't even want to know what made you think this was a good idea."
"It wasn't my fault!"
"If it weren't for my current position I might start to scold you or something."
"Can you help me, Noble?" Twilight said suddenly. "My grip's getting weak here."
"I would gladly help, my lady, but for the fact that I am not in the best position. In what conceivable way do you think I can assist you?" Indeed, being slung over somepony else, Noble could not see any way that he could help out Twilight.
Twilight blushed a little at being called a lady. "I... don't... know..." She admitted.
"Your attempted flirting with him isn't helping, so cut it out!" Firestorm said.
"I'll cut it out if you cut out the cake, Captain Cellulite!" Twilight yelled, blushing furiously. Indeed, he was rather heavy holding on to her legs. "Did you pour cement into your oatmeal this morning or something?"
"Look, I'm sorry I don't watch what I eat most of the time!" Firestorm yelled. Then his voice dropped into a seductive, huskier tone. "But you know what? I still look hot."
"Not from this angle," Noble mumbled.
Firestorm glanced over at him in annoyance. "I wonder how relieved the princess's back will be when your weight is pulled off of her by an angry pegasus."
"Duly noted," Noble conceded.
An echoey sound of a twanging cable suddenly reverberated around the shaft. "What was that? Was that more Noxxa?" Noble asked, glancing around.
"No." Firestorm pointed up. "I think that's the elevator."
The accuracy of his guess was swiftly confirmed by the sound of a loud snap as the final cable holding the elevator car separated and there was a strong downdraft of burning oil as the elevator hurled down the shaft like a stone down a well.
Noble said, "Oh."
"THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THIS?!" Firestorm yelled incredulously as the elevator car fell farther and farther. It roared above them as the car screeched against the sides of the shaft, showering sparks.
"We need to jump," Noble ordered.
"Jump?" Twilight gave a shaky laugh. "Don't you mean, fall?"
"Yes, actually. Princess, if you don't mind-"
Twilight happily obliged, as her hooves were very sore now, and let go.
They fell.
And fell. The sides of the shaft blurred.
And fell some more, right under the bottom of the elevator car that seemed to hurl down on top of them. The bottom of the shaft got closer and closer, and they all hung on tight to each other as it fast approached.
Until Firestorm clicked his hind legs together and activated the supermagnets all Guardians of the Sun had and slammed them onto the shaft wall right over a doorway that had opened. The three of them were thrown into the small elevator lobby just as the car fell past and smashed itself into oblivion on the bottom of the shaft.
They had fallen on top of a poor Noxxa engineer who needed to deliver some materials to the sub-level basements. Noble had crashed directly into him as they had hurled in and had unwittingly smashed in his skull. Noble's grey armor was now covered in black dust, and his materials had been scattered across the room on impact.
They all lay there for a second, then managed to untangle themselves and helped crick out their own joints. Finally, Twilight, standing weakly on her sore legs, gasped, "Are... all of your... rescues so..." She then groaned in pain. "Entertaining?"
Noble Blade and Firestorm exchanged wary glances.
Firestorm then shrugged.
"Actually, now that you mention it, Princess," Noble said contemplatively, "Yes."
Twilight ground her teeth a little. "Can you please not call me that? I'd much rather be called by my real name."
"Ohooooooo, no. Nope. Nupnupnupnupna nope," Firestorm cut her off. "I'll call you Boss instead."
"Boss?" Twilight asked.
Noble Blade started to explain. "The Guardians of the Sun are the undercover commandos of the princesses. We are loyal to no others. We serve them alone. We serve undercover missions, spearhead assaults, destroy isolated threats, halt scheming nobles- "
"- Drink from the princess's private apple cider cellar," Firestorm snickered.
Noble Blade rolled his eyes. "Yes. That too, Firestorm. Thank you for that important detail." He cleared his throat. "All that and more we do secretly under the direction of the princesses. Celestia, Luna, and Cadence have been giving us missions to protect Equestria for five years now, ever since the Changeling invasion in Canterlot. Again, the only reason you haven't heard about us as of... what, an hour or two ago?... is because our existence is strictly on a need-to-know basis."
"And I didn't need to know?" Twilight asked, a little outraged at the fact.
"Celestia told us that you weren't the best at keeping secrets."
Remembering all the times she had been instructed to keep secrets for her friends, like the time Fluttershy had become a model all those years back, Twilight saw Celestia's reasoning.
"But..." Noble sighed. "Now that you know, I suppose that you should know that you are our superior and that we shall serve you unconditionally." He kept his head down, not looking directly at her eyes.
Twilight felt shame welling up in her. The knight, along with his eccentric companion, was serving her without any regard for their own desires or interests. And from the moment they had shown themselves, Twilight had thought bitterly of them because of their willingness to kill. While she still stood by her position that killing was wrong, she knew they weren't doing it out of spite or for entertainment. They were instead trying to defend her. And when she realized that, she also realized that, for being a princess of friendship, she hadn't exactly been very friendly.
"I'm sorry," Twilight murmured. "I haven't been a very good friend to you even though you're trying to rescue me. If you're mad or frustrated, I understand. Just... forgive me. Please?"
Noble Blade was quiet for a moment. Firestorm was about to speak, but, sensing the solemnity between the princess and the knight, swallowed his words with a mighty gulp, waiting for either of them to speak.
After a little bit, Noble rose on his hind legs, the leg stiffeners in his armor clicking into place. He reached over his back and drew his broadsword. Twilight gasped. He cut an intimidating figure with his expressionless face and his dull grey armor, with both of his forehooves wrapped around the hilt of his sword. The sword was apparently forged out of one piece of metal, having the blade, crosspiece, and hilt the same color and sheen. The ends of the crosspiece were in the shape of a diamond, and the pommel curved outward. On the hilt, near the crosspiece, was a darker part that looked like it could rotate.
Noble walked slowly to Twilight, his gait smooth but strange, as equines are not normally bipedal. When he was right in front of her he reversed his sword and planted it blade first in the stone ground. The sword cut through the stone like it was made of gelatin, indicating that whatever the sword was made out of, it was strong and sharp. Noble then gracefully kneeled, keeping both his hooves on the sword hilt as his brown cape flowed behind him. Twilight was a bit confused by the actions until Noble spoke.
"Princess Twilight Sparkle. I pledge to thee an oath of fealty- that my service to thee will never cease and my loyalty never falter. By thy side along with mine celestial rulers will I serve in the protection of thee and mine country. Should I fall, I will rise again to deliver another stroke in the name of liberty and peace. Shouldst thou fall, I will help thee rise again to thy place of honor. And should I die- " He drew a heavy breath, "-mine service to thee never will. I shall never abandon thy side, lest mine guilt cripple me, and I gladly surrender all to thee. My will, my freedom, my blade- and my life. All I have art thine."
Twilight's heart melted. The combination of relief that he was not angry, plus his bottomless loyalty, endless heart, and willingness to give away anything in order to protect and serve her was almost too heartwarming. Not to mention his flawless use of archaic speech...
"My lady?" Noble Blade asked. "Thy visage seemeth a bit more hued than usual. Art thou feeling well?"
Twilight indeed was blushing furiously. "Uh, yeah, Noble...thank you for that...pledge, I think it was. Y-you didn't need to do that kind of thing for me...though I really liked it..."
"What was that last bit?" he asked.
"NOTHING!" Twilight yelled, looking away in embarrassment.
"Oh, I don't know about that," Firestorm observed. "Her face is red, she looks uncomfortable... you think she needs to use the bathroom?"
Noble Blade glanced at him, then sighed, took his sword out of the ground, and sheathed it. "Why thinkest thou that she requireth the facilities of a restroom? More importantly, why doth thy mind occupy itself with such a topic in the first place?"
"I think you know me too well to question that. Not a day goes by that I don't think about that sort of thing." Firestorm grinned jokingly.
"Thou disgusting ill-bred stale-skinned garlic bread grease spot," Noble muttered.
Firestorm blushed and waved him off. "D'awww, shucks! You flatterer!" He then looked directly at Noble. "Although I can think of a couple of reasons she needs a restroom right now. Either she actually needs to go... orrrrr," his face grew sly.
" she needs to spend some time alone to contemplate her feelings for her new, strong, cru- "
Before he completed his sentence, he found Twilight's face right in front of his. "Finish that word..." she snarled. "And I finish you. Got it?"
Firestorm gave a lopsided grin. "You know, boss, I was about to... BUT IMMA LET IT SLIII~IIIDE!" He moved away. "I don't like it but still, imma let it slide." He held up his hooves.
Twilight glared at him for a little bit longer. "I'm warning you," she blustered. "One more word-"
"And I'm going to have eternal pain and suffering for the rest of my miserable existence. I know, Princess," he said in a bored voice. He rolled his eyes. " I'm probably going to wake up one day with my glorious mane shaven off, or with half a gallon of whipped cream dumped on my face, or with the fleas of a thousand camels infesting my armpits."
"That last one he mentioned rang true for him many years ago," Noble whispered to Twilight out of the corner of his mouth.
"What was that?" Firestorm snapped.
"Nothing," Noble rolled his eyes. As he did so, however, he noticed something out of the corner of his peripheral vision. Something bad.
"Firestorm," he murmured lowly. "Don't look now, but there's a Noxxa scout in the hallway leading out of here."
"Has he noticed us?" he asked.
"I think so." Indeed, the scout was now trying to sneak closer towards them, under the false impression that he was unnoticed.
"You got an ETA?" Firestorm whispered casually.
"I'd say about ten seconds."
"He's moving fast, isn't he?"
"Well, he's excited." Noble shrugged. "I'd hate to disappoint him." He curled a hoof around the hilt of the sword on his back. The motion was not unnoticed by the Nox. As soon as the Nox saw it, he realized that he was no longer secret and that they were preparing to meet him. Abandoning any notion of stealth, he let out a bloodcurdling screech and rushed forward with a long sword. Twilight screamed when she saw him and fell backwards as the Nox swung his arm back to deliver a fatal blow.
But he suddenly stopped moving as Noble whipped his sword out of his scabbard and whirled around to have him run head-on into the sword and was impaled in the gut. Noble then moved the sword, with the Nox still on it, out of the way, while Firestorm said, "Hohoho, nope! Nopenopenopenopenopenope!"
He then kicked the body off the blade, where it dissolved into black dust swirling through the air. Noble said, "What in Tartarus was that idiot thinking? You would think somepony sneaking up on you would at least try to be silent, but nooooooo! He tried to intimidate instead! And while he was alone, too? Oh, Faust, these Noxxa are so incompetent!" He actually sounded annoyed.
"Are you mad that your enemies are too dull for you to enjoy the fight?" Firestorm asked quizzically.
"I kind of am! I feel wrong taking life that doesn't try hard enough to harm me. It makes me feel... how do I say this... guiltily underwhelmed." He pawed at the ground, sheathing his sword again. "Ugh, doing this hurts."
"Taking life?" Twilight asked.
"No, drawing and sheathing my sword. It's fatiguing, drawing the weapon again and again. I would prefer it if the danger would simply stay in the open, rather than for me to think the danger's gone only to find some danger still exists, at which point I must draw my sword again. Do you know how much it can hurt my arm?"
Twilight felt a twinge of disappointment that he felt little remorse for the enemies he had slain. Noble seemed to notice this and backed away. "If it seemed like I feel cold towards my enemies, I apologize, Princess."
"Nonono, it's fine!" Twilight rushed. "Just- i- it's fine, okay? Just remember that I don't like being called princess. Call me Twilight, please?" She almost begged. She really wanted to hear his voice say his name.
Noble, however, was oblivious to the urgency she displayed as he simply smiled and said, "Sure...Twilight."
That did it. She giggled like a little filly and covered her face in her mane to hide her blush.
The moment was ruined, however, by Firestorm as he popped his head next to Noble's open visor. "Wait, wait, weeeeeeeit. Ya sayy ya dun't like eet when we coll ya parincess?" he asked, a spark of mischief in his eyes and a heavy accent in his voice. He grinned evilly. "In tha' case, I'hve go' th' perrrrrfect opportunity ta tormen'cha," he cruelly chuckled as he sang, "PARINNNNNNCEEEEEEEESSS!"
Noble Blade sighed and said to Twilight, "You know, out of all the things you could have said to me around him... what you just said was about the worst thing in existence."
"He's-a-right, doncha know," Firestorm said, still in his ridiculous accent. "I'll-a-neverrr let this go."
In the corridor leading out, a Noxxa spy was overhearing every word they said. His compatriot had rushed in too early and foolishly. It was better that such an idiot was now dead at the hooves of Noble Blade.
"So we are entertaining the Guardians of the Sun in our city..." he mused quietly. "Just as Marshall Malice wanted." He grinned maliciously. "Let's get our forces ready to intercept them."