“And that is why not disposing of bubble gum properly is antithetical to friendship,” said Sunset.
“That’s your friendship lesson for Starlight?” asked Gilda.
“It seems awfully valuable to me,” said Trixie.
“Well, I have to have it be something!” said Sunset. “And I’m running out of them! I already mentioned things like how it’s obnoxious to crash through walls.” There was a pause as Sunset stared at the wall, then shrugged. “Wow, I guess Lightning Dust didn’t crash through the wall when I said that.”
Flim and Flam crashed through the wall with some kind of vehicle. “Whoops,” said Flim. “Sorry about that.”
“You set yourself up for that,” said Gilda.
“I really did, didn’t I?” said Sunset with a sigh. “What are you two doing anyway?”
“Testing out our new invention!” said Flim. “It’s called a car! It works on an engine like a train, so you don’t have to move things around manually like a cart. The breaks need some work, though.”
“Don’t you mean the brakes need work?” asked Trixie.
“Well, those too,” said Flam. “But I was saying that I think we were taking an improper number of breaks when building it.”
“Wait, how could you tell the difference between homonyms when they were spoken out loud?” wondered Gilda.
“Because brakes is spelled B-R-A-K-E-S and breaks is spelled B-R-E-A-K-S,” Trixie said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
“That still doesn’t explain it!”
“It’s not my fault you clearly failed spelling class,” said Trixie.
And the insanity begins again, thought Sunset to herself.
“Hello, everypony!” declared an all-too-familiar gray-coated mailmare. “I’ve got a letter for you!” She paused. “I’m sorry, this letter is addressed to somepony else. It’s supposed to be for Sunset, Gilda, Trixie, Flim, Flam, Suri, and Lightning Dust.”
“That’s us!” said Sunset.
“Nuh-uh,” said the mailmare in a disapproving tone. “I only see some of them. It’s addressed to all of those names, so unless all are present, I can’t deliver it.”
Sunset growled. “Well, what are you waiting for? Find Lightning Dust and Suri!”
“Righto!” declared Flim. The two drove their car of the hole they had previously created.
“They didn’t make another hole when exiting?” asked Sunset in disbelief. “Maybe things are looking up for me after all.”
“Incoming!” declared Lightning Dust’s voice as she crashed into the floor, albeit going through the hole that was already created. “Did you need me?”
“I’m grateful for the fact you didn’t crash through the wall this time,” said Sunset.
“Why would I crash through the wall?” asked Lightning Dust quizzically. “There’s a perfectly good hole already. No need to create another.”
Why does that make far more sense than it should? wondered Sunset to herself.
A short time later…
“All right!” said Suri. “What’s going on with this letter, then?”
The mailmare gave the letter to Suri. “Hooray! Yet another successful delivery!” She flew off.
“What does it say?” asked Sunset.
Suri opened up the letter and read it. “You are cordially invited to–”
“Wait,” interrupted Trixie, “how often does somepony get a non-cordial invitation?”
Suri frowned at Trixie in disapproval.
“It’s a valid question!” said Trixie. “It seems so redundant!”
Suri rolled her eyes but continued reading without further comment. “You are cordially invited to the Crystalling of Shining Armor and Cadance’s soon-to-be-born foal. Bring a friend if you want.”
“Cadance was pregnant?” asked Gilda in surprise.
“What, you didn’t read the tabloids?” asked Suri. “It was on the headlines of all of them, usually next to stories about Fluttershy being a vampire or Chrysalis being in a secret relationship with Discord.”
“Setting aside that,” said Flim, “what is a ‘Crystalling’?”
“Oh, there’s a footnote about that,” said Suri. “Let’s see. ‘When a baby is born in the Crystal Empire, they bring it before the Crystal Heart.’ Then there’s some stuff about how it increases the joy everypony feels and that strengthens the Crystal Heart or something cheesy like that. Most likely it’s really just an excuse to party and get drunk.”
“Sounds great!” said Flam. “Let’s go!”
“Well, it’s not yet,” said Suri. “It’s scheduled several days from now. Doesn’t it seem frightfully late to be sending these letters so last-minute?”
“Maybe they got lost in the mail until now,” said Gilda.
And so, some time later…
“Okay, everypony is packed?” asked Sunset. “I don’t want anypony to be deciding they forgot anything while on the train and having to head back.”
“Don’t you mean you don’t want anypony to be realizing they forgot anything?” said Trixie. “Nopony ever decides that they forgot something.”
“I’ll take that as a ‘yes’ to my question of everypony being packed,” muttered Sunset.
Starlight approached the group. “I’m sorry I’m late, but I have everything packed.”
“Why is she here?” asked Lightning Dust.
“Did you zone out again when I was telling you?” asked Sunset in an irritated tone.
“How would I know?” asked Lightning Dust. “If I were zoned out, I wouldn’t know what you were talking about while I was zoned out.”
“I’ll take that as another ‘yes,’” muttered Sunset. “She’s supposed to be in my custody, and since you lot are all going with me, I have to bring her along. Besides, her friendship final exam involves being in the Crystal Empire.”
“What is it?” asked Starlight.
“It’s a pop exam!” said Sunset. “You won’t know until you get it. Now can we all get going now?”
“Well!” said Trixie after the train had left the station. “It’s a bit of a wait to get to the Crystal Empire by train. In the meantime, who wants to talk about their feelings?”
The rest of the group stared at Trixie briefly. Then everyone except for Lightning Dust quickly exited the car.
“Works every time,” said Lightning Dust. “Come on, let’s get that next issue of Mare Do Well scripted now that we don’t have to deal with them. I say we should bring Anon-a-Miss back!”
“Anon-a-Miss?” asked Trixie. “But that story was so controversial.”
“But it got a lot of attention!” said Lightning Dust. “Plus, if we have another go at it, we can prove we can have a story involving her that everypony will like!”
Trixie sighed. “What’s your idea, then?”
“My idea was just to bring Anon-a-Miss back,” said Lightning Dust. “I was hoping you could figure out the specifics.”
Trixie sighed again.
The train eventually reached the Crystal Empire, and the group went into the castle. “I’m so happy they finally finished the railroad so that we can get straight to the Crystal Empire without having to go through that snow again,” said Suri as they walked through. “It’s substantially more convenient!”
“All right then,” said Sunset to Starlight, “so your test, now that we’re in the Crystal Empire, is to find that Sunburst character and reunite with him.”
“Um…” said Starlight uncertainly.
“Should be easy!” said Gilda. “After all, he was the one you cared so much about that you went all psycho crazy evil.”
“Psycho and crazy are synonyms, making that statement redundant,” said Trixie.
“Your face is redundant,” said Gilda. “And unnecessary.”
“How is my face redundant or unnecessary?” demanded Trixie. “How would I even see or eat without… oh, wait. ‘Redundant and unnecessary.’ I see what you did there.”
“Uh… anyway, here’s the address!” said Sunset as she gave Starlight a piece of paper. “Now get going!”
“You know, maybe this should wait,” said Starlight. “I mean, I–”
“Don’t worry!” said Sunset as she patted Starlight on the back. “I have complete and utter faith in you! You just need to believe in yourself! In fact, you don’t even need to do that! Believe in the me that believes in you!”
“That doesn’t make any sense,” said Starlight.
“Exactly!” said Sunset. “Kick reason to the curb!”
“You’re unusually gung ho,” said Flim.
“That’s such a weird-sounding phrase,” said Lightning Dust. “Where did it come from?”
“It comes from the phrase ‘gun go,’” said Gilda. “Must have been made by gun enthusiasts.”
“Are you sure about that?” asked Lightning Dust.
“No,” said Gilda. “But it would be cool if it did.”
“So, who’s going to go with Starlight?” asked Trixie.
“Why would anypony need to do that?” asked Suri.
“Uh, moral support, I guess?” said Trixie.
“I’ve got it!” said Flim. “Let’s roll a die to decide!”
“There’s seven of us,” said Trixie. “Dice have six sides.”
“Oh, you can just count Flam and me together,” said Flim.
“You’re just doing that to lower your chances of having to do it yourself,” said Gilda.
“I’ve got it!” said Suri. “To make it sufficiently even, let’s have one option be that Starlight just goes alone. Now, we put three of us, plus the ‘go alone’ option in one group. Then the other four are in another group. We roll the die, and if it’s an even number, we continue with the first, and if it’s odd, the second. Then we roll the die again for that group, and each of the four, including ‘go alone’ if applicable, will be assigned a number, and on a 5 or a 6 we reroll.”
Gilda pulled out an 8-sided die. “Or we could just use this instead.”
“Why are you carrying an 8-sided die around?” asked Sunset.
“Why wouldn’t I?” said Gilda. “These things can come in handy sometimes, like in this situation! By the way, I’d like you to notice that it is transparent, so you have no need to worry about it being weighted. So, let’s roll the die to decide!”
“Don’t I have any say in this?” asked Starlight.
“No,” said the rest of the group simultaneously.
“Okay!” said Gilda. “So, the order will be our names alphabetically, and the number where none of us have to bother will just be Starlight’s name I guess. So that means that Flam is 1, Flim is 2, I’m 3, and–”
“Just roll it already,” said Sunset.
“Fine!” said Gilda as she rolled the die. Unfortunately, some wind caused it to roll into a gutter. “Um, hang on,” she said. “I have another one.”
“Why do you have a second 8-sided die?” asked Suri.
“Why wouldn’t I?” said Gilda. “Let’s try again.” She rolled the die and it landed on 4. “Okay, that’s Lightning Dust.”
“Aw,” said Lightning Dust, “but I wanted to do just about anything else.”
“The die has spoken!” said Gilda.
“Actually,” said Trixie, “the die didn’t speak at all. It’s incapable of making sounds.”
“Who cares about the semantics of the word ‘spoken’?” asked Sunset.
“I do!” said Trixie.
“Well, nopony else cares,” said Sunset. “Now let’s all go off and do our assigned activities.”
“Is it just me, or does the palace seem slightly more extravagant than before?” asked Trixie as they walked through it.
“It only recently came back, so I assume there’s been some renovations,” said Gilda. “I’m sure that’ll make the feast all the better!”
“Feast?”
“We’re getting a feast, right?” said Gilda. “I mean, it’s not like there’s much of any other reason for us to come all the way out here.”
“Gilda, we’re here because the travel and accommodations were free and it’d look bad to refuse an invitation,” said Sunset.
“Well, then why aren’t we doing something interesting like sightseeing?”
“Because we have to still check in,” said Sunset. “Where is Twilight or Shining Armor or Cadance anyway? I would’ve thought they’d be here to say hello. We did help save this place.”
“Well, I did most of the work in that,” said Gilda. “Maybe they’re just going to have a big surprise party and feast for me. How about you lot all clear out so I can have my party?”
“Hey!” said Sunset. “I was important in that also!”
“Fine,” said Gilda, “Sunset can stay. What did the rest of you do in that adventure anyway?”
“We did get the crystal ponies around to power up the Crystal Heart,” said Trixie.
“Right,” said Flam, “since the crystal ponies were around, their hope then rejuvenated it or something cheesy like that, and that solved everything somehow.”
Twilight came around the corner and approached the group. “Hello! I’m sorry nopony was around to greet you before now. We’ve been really busy.”
“No problem!” said Gilda. “Just give us our feast.”
“Feast?” asked Twilight in a confused tone.
“Ignore her,” said Sunset. “But even if you, Shining Armor, and Cadance were busy, couldn’t you have sent some guards to escort us?”
“Budget cuts,” said Twilight.
“Why were there budget cuts?” asked Flim.
“Well,” said Twilight, “there was this whole thing with Discord and a Smooze, and… you know what, let’s skip over the details. It wasn’t a very pleasant business. Anyway, I’m glad all of you showed up for the Crystalling.”
“Which involves a feast, right?” asked Gilda eagerly.
“Why are you so suddenly obsessed with feasts?” asked Flim.
“I never really got much as a reward for my pizza trick the last time we were here,” said Gilda. “I wouldn’t mind a feast. How about one with pizza?”
“Can we just get to seeing the kid already?” said Sunset.
“Sure!” said Twilight. “She’s this way.”
The group followed Twilight and soon came to a room with a moose. Then they realized they got the rooms mixed up, so they went to the next room which had a crib in it. “Oh!” said Twilight. “I should tell you beforehand that–”
Flam looked into the crib. “She’s an alicorn? Huh.”
“Wait, you can be born an alicorn?” asked Trixie. She frowned. “Darn it, now my fanfics are obsolete.”
Sunset looked into the crib. “Aw, she’s so cute.”
“You’re totally feeding off of her love right now, aren’t you?” asked Gilda.
“Hey!” declared Chrysalis as she suddenly jumped into the room. “That is a completely unwarranted stereotype! But it is probably true.”
“Huh?” asked Sunset. “What are you doing here?”
“Well, actually, I was looking for the employee lounge,” said Chrysalis. “Then by pure coincidence, I happened to end up just outside of this room as Gilda said that! So I took the opportunity to enter and say the thing that I said. I was in no way waiting outside of this room waiting for a good opportunity to jump in.”
“No, I mean, why are you here in the Crystal Empire?” said Sunset. “And does this castle even have an employee lounge?”
“How should I know?” said Chrysalis.
“Wait, was that an answer to my first or second question?”
“The second,” said Chrysalis.
“Okay, can I have one for the first?” asked Sunset in an irritated tone.
“Sure!” said Chrysalis. “You see, I originally wasn’t going to show up until the end, as a joke on the title. It makes you think I’d show up, but then I wouldn’t until the end, and it’d be a great joke. But it was funny enough for me to suddenly pop in after that was said that I decided against it.”
“Title? Huh? I have no idea what you’re talking about,” said Sunset.
“That’s odd,” said Chrysalis, “considering my appearance here is just a figment of your imagination. You’d think you would know what I’m talking about.” Chrysalis suddenly disappeared.
Sunset stared, flabbergasted. Finally she realized Gilda was speaking to her. “Huh?” asked Sunset. She turned and saw everyone was staring at her in a confused manner.
“I was asking why you were babbling to yourself,” said Gilda. “Are you going insane? Because if you are, it would be good to know.”
“No, I’m not going insane,” said Sunset. “I just had a hallucination of Chrysalis and was talking to it. That’s all.”
There was a pause. “That, um, doesn’t really put my concerns to rest in regards to the insanity thing,” said Gilda.
“You think Chrysalis isn’t a big enough troll to deliberately appear as a hallucination?” said Suri.
“Hrm,” said Gilda. “Well, when you put it that way…”
“I think I read somewhere that hallucinations is a potential side effect of feeding off of an infant’s love,” said Twilight.
“I wasn’t doing that!” protested Sunset.
“Well, that should be your story in any case,” said Trixie, “because I’m pretty sure you can get put on a list for doing that.”
Shining Armor entered. “Hello!” he said. “I see you’ve met her. Do be careful, though; her magic is extremely powerful and sometimes causes hallucinations.”
“Aha!” said Sunset. “I’m not insane! I knew it!”
“You seem surprisingly calm considering the circumstances,” said Suri.
“Oh, inwardly I’m a complete wreck,” said Shining Armor. “But Twilight’s been helping out, so I’m at least able to keep my composure.”
Just then, the currently unnamed baby alicorn sneezed and blasted a whole hole through the ceiling.
“See?” said Shining Armor. “Mentally I’m running around screaming, but you wouldn’t know it by looking at me.”
“And this is why I will never have kids,” muttered Sunset.
“I think your antisocial personality is the real reason for that,” said Gilda.
“Do you think it might be a little dangerous to go forward with the whole Crystalling thing if her magic is so powerful?” Flam asked Shining Armor.
“Well, what could possibly go wrong?” asked Shining Armor.
“She’d accidentally destroy the Crystal Heart and cause the entire empire to be buried under a mountain of ice and snow?” suggested Sunset.
There was a pause. “Actually, that’s a good point,” said Shining Armor. “Let’s just call the whole thing off.”
Meanwhile, Sunburst and Starlight were actually hitting it off very well.
“I never would’ve thought to combine Starswirl’s apparition spell with Spacium Flexibus!” said Starlight. “But what would happen if we added Somnabula’s Tempus Objectus?”
“If we do it just right,” said Sunburst, “it should allow us to materialize an object that was lost in the past. Finally, I’ll be able to find my missing sock.”
“Let’s do it!” Starlight and Sunburst started drawing an ornate design on the floor that was in no way a ripoff of Fullmetal Alchemist.
“So how does this work again?” asked Lightning Dust.
“Well,” said Starlight, “the interval between the two points is defined as the square root of the sum of the squares of the separation between the points along three spatial dimensions.”
“Sorry,” said Lightning Dust, “I sort of zoned out after ‘interval.’ Can you explain it more simply?”
“I already explained it to you more simply several minutes ago, and then you said you zoned out!”
“Well, that clearly shows a lack of quality communication on your end,” said Lightning Dust.
“Okay,” said Starlight, “how about you just sit there and be quiet?”
“No problem!” said Lightning Dust with a salute. “Sitting in one place and being quiet is one of the things I do worst!”
Starlight briefly tried to puzzle out this statement before deciding it wasn’t worth it. She and Sunburst finished drawing the picture and then activated it with magic. Suddenly, a large black hole appeared on the floor where the picture was, and starting sucking everything into it.
“Oh, darn it,” said Sunburst with a sigh. “Did I forget to carry the 3 again?”
Sunburst, Starlight, and Lightning Dust rapidly were sucked into the portal, which then disappeared.
A black hole suddenly appeared above the ground. Lightning Dust, Starlight, and Sunburst were all dropped unceremoniously onto the ground, and the hole disappeared.
“Any idea where we are now?” asked Starlight.
Sunburst stared at Starlight, then looked at himself. “Actually, just as importantly, what are we? I didn’t have fingers a moment ago. And the two of you have transformed into something else.”
“Oh, wow!” said Lightning Dust. “We must have ended up in that alternate universe Sunset visited a few times. Apparently, entering it transforms you into a totally different being.”
“Well, at least we have some information,” said Starlight. “What do you know about the universe?”
“Well,” said Lightning Dust, “I think Sunset said something like, ‘So then, after figuring out how to stand and walk on two feet, I… wait a minute, Lightning Dust, are you even paying attention to my story? Are you zoning out again? Screw this, I’m out of here.’ But I was only pretending to zone out! Ha! Got her good that time!”
Starlight and Sunburst stared blankly at Lightning Dust.
“It seemed like a clever prank at the time!” said Lightning Dust defensively. “Okay, let me see what else I can remember. She met some alternate version of Twilight Sparkle at a place called Canterlot High School, and… yeah, that’s all I’ve got. Maybe we could find her.”
“Do you have any suggestions on how to do that?” asked Sunburst.
“Nope!” said Lightning Dust cheerfully. “But hey, you guys are the smart ones, I’m sure you could come up with something on how to find Canterlot High School.”
Starlight pointed to a sign. “Well, that sign does say, ‘Canterlot High School.’”
“See?” said Lightning Dust. “This is why I need smart guys like you, so I don’t miss hidden clues like that.”
Starlight and Sunburst looked at each other quizzically for a moment, then shrugged. “Okay, so we’re at least in the right place. Now what?”
“We go in!” declared Lightning Dust as she attempted to run to the school building. However, not being used to walking on two legs, let alone running, caused her to quickly fall over. “Okay. Maybe we need to practice walking a little first.”
Some practice later…
“All right!” said Lightning Dust. “Now we should–”
“Hang on a minute,” said Starlight. “Why are you the one in charge?”
“Because I’m not the one who caused a portal to appear and suck us all into this world,” said Lightning Dust.
“She’s got a point,” admitted Sunburst.
“Anyway!” said Lightning Dust. “Now we just have to find the counterpart of Twilight Sparkle, and hopefully she’ll know how to get us back. Let’s go!”
A short time later…
“Greetings, fellow human!” said Lightning Dust.
“Um… hello?” asked the girl Lightning Dust had greeted.
“Indeed!” said Lightning Dust. “I’m trying to find an individual named Twilight Sparkle!”
“Oh, Twilight?” said the girl. “Probably in the auditorium with most everyone else for the Friendship Games. By the way, who are you? I don’t think I’ve seen you around before.”
“Well, you probably wouldn’t believe me if I told you that we were from an alternate universe where we’re ponies and we came here through a freak accident involving a portal of some sort,” said Lightning Dust. “So instead I’ll say we just recently transferred.”
The girl stared at Lightning Dust for a few moments, stared for a few more moments, then walked off.
“I am so good at going undercover!” declared Lightning Dust. “To the auditorium!”
Sunset must be some kind of friendship master if she’s able to get along with Lightning Dust, thought Starlight to herself.
The three entered the auditorium to find a group of students and presumed faculty mingling around. “I suppose now–” started Lightning Dust before getting interrupted by a voice coming from a microphone.
“Greetings, students!” declared Chrysalis as she strolled onto the stage. “I’m Chrysalis, the principal of Canterlot High School, and I’m so glad you all made it to our slightly delayed Friendship Games between the Canterlot Wondercolts and the Crystal Prep Shadowbolts. As you know, we had to delay it because… well, wait, if you already know why we had to delay it, no need to tell you. As I was saying, I’m so glad you all made it, because if some you didn’t due to some kind of injury, there would’ve been all kinds of injury lawsuits, and all the schools in this district already had to face some budget cuts due to that incident with the beans. Anyway, we’re all here because of the Friendship Games, a competition that’s about friendship, because clearly the proper way to emphasize getting along with each other is to compete. Makes perfect sense!”
“Exactly!” said Lightning Dust. “Finally, there’s someone who gets that! The best way to make friends is to beat each other up! I learned that from comics!”
“In fact, one wonders what the point of it even is,” continued Chrysalis. “Granted, maybe I’m in the dark because I only got this job a few years ago and wasn’t here for all previous ones, but let’s face it. It happens only every four years, and it’s just one event between two schools, so even the idea of bragging rights are rather limited. It’s not like winning a single competition against one other school is going to affect your chances of getting into college or anything; it needs to be something bigger, like a competition among several schools. Sometimes I–”
“Ahem,” said Principal Cinch.
“Oh, fine,” grumbled Chrysalis. “Well, ignoring the fact that this entire thing is a pointless waste of tax money for the reasons I said, I’d like to welcome you all to the Friendship Games!” She held up a piece of paper and read it. “Representing Canterlot High School are Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Rarity. Representing Crystal Prep are Sour Sweet, Indigo Zap, Sunny Flare, Sugarcoat, Lemon Zest, and Sunset Shimmer. Technically, there’s six more individuals on each team but we all know they’re just there to be filler and will be knocked out after the first round.”
“Hey!” came several voices from the audience.
“Just telling it like it is!” said Chrysalis. “You’ve probably gotten your fill of me for now, but don’t worry, I’ll be back later for more! Anyway, here is Abacus Cinch, whose name is even goofier than my own!”
Chrysalis handed the microphone to Cinch, who took it awkwardly. “I’d like to think Principal Chrysalis for her… unconventional welcome,” said Cinch. “It’s been four years since the last Friendship Games, but it feels as though nothing has changed. Canterlot High continues to pick its competitors in a popularity contest and Crystal Prep continues to field its top twelve students. It is a comfort to know that even after so many years of losses, your school…” Cinch broke off as she heard some laughter from the audience. “What’s so funny?” She turned and noticed Chrysalis noticeably yawning, which was the apparent reason for the laughter. “Chrysalis, what are you doing?”
“Yawning,” said Chrysalis with a yawn. “I mean, your speech was rather dull and boring, especially compared to mine.”
Cinch glared at Chrysalis.
“Admittedly,” said Chrysalis, “maybe it was that anime I was up late watching last night. Have you ever watched it? It’s about attacks on titans.”
Cinch started to respond, but after a pause, reconsidered and continued on as if she hadn’t been interrupted. “It is a comfort to know that even after so many years of losses, your school remains committed to its ideals, however misguided they may be. I wish you all the best of luck, regardless of the inevitable outcome.”
“That was a lame speech,” said Lightning Dust. “It’s bad when even Chrysalis outdoes you.”
“Who cares about the lameness?” asked Starlight. “Didn’t you hear the fact Chrysalis name dropped Sunset? Her counterpart must be here as well.”
“Why do you think Sunset’s counterpart would be of any use?” said Lightning Dust. “It seems unlikely that she’s been researching the crazy hijinks that happened recently at this school and would have in some way stumbled upon a magical source of power that could get us all home.” She paused. “But, hey, dumber things have happened.”
And so the three went to look for either Twilight or Sunset. Lightning Dust developed a clever way to try to find them. “Are you Twilight Sparkle or Sunset Shimmer?” she asked a random girl.
“Um… no,” said the girl.
“Are you Twilight Sparkle or Sunset Shimmer?” Lightning Dust asked another girl.
“No?” she asked.
“Are you Twilight Sparkle or Sunset Shimmer?”
“I’m a guy!” said the student.
“Are you Twilight Sparkle or Sunset Shimmer?” Lightning Dust asked yet another student.
“Yes?” said Twilight awkwardly. “Who are you?”
“Ha!” said Lightning Dust. “Solving a puzzle by stupid brute force wins again!”
“That doesn’t answer my question,” said Twilight.
“Oh, right,” said Lightning Dust. “My companions and I are from that alternate universe that you came from and that Sunset you met a while ago was also from. Thanks to crazy magic shenanigans that I don’t understand, but I’m sure were very well thought out and completely consistent, we ended up accidentally making a portal that brought us here. However, we don’t have any way to get back as far as we know. So, I was hoping that maybe you’d know of some way to fix the whole thing up, bring us back to our own universe, and then we can all pretend this entire thing never happened until someone inadvertently travels between universes again.”
Twilight stared in disbelief.
“Uh-oh. I didn’t keep it too brief, did I?” asked Lightning Dust worriedly.
“No, that was fine,” said Twilight. “Just a lot to take in. But… hrm. I’m not really sure what I can do about the situation. The portal’s been shut down, and the phone doesn’t even work for trying to contact Sunset back in Equestria. I think her line got cancelled.”
“Darn it!” said Lightning Dust. “I hope we don’t end up stuck here.”
“Where are those companions you mentioned?” asked Twilight.
“Oh, there’s two others with me,” said Lightning Dust. “But we split up to try to find you… or this universe’s Sunset. Is she anything like the Sunset I know?”
Meanwhile, less than 0.038 miles away…
“Oh, there she is,” said Starlight as she pointed towards a human Sunset standing in the corner. “I finally found her.”
Sunburst scratched his head. “Do you really think she’ll necessarily know anything at all about getting us back?”
“There’s no harm in asking!” said Starlight.
The two sent over to Sunset, who was playing a game on her cell phone while paying no attention to them. “Hello?” said Starlight.
“Yes?” asked Sunset, not taking her eyes off her cell phone. “What do you want?”
Hrm, thought Sunburst. How should we approach this? We can’t just start by saying ‘we’re from another universe and knew an alternate version of you and were wondering if you knew anything about getting us back.’ That would seem really weird.
“We’re from another universe and knew an alternate version of you and were wondering if you knew anything about getting us back,” said Starlight.
This actually caught Sunset’s attention enough to make her look up from her game. “Say what now?”
“We’re from another universe and knew an alternate version of you and were wondering if you knew anything about getting us back,” repeated Starlight.
Sunset took a step towards them. “Did you–” she started, but suddenly a locket around her neck opened. Some kind of aura appeared around both Starlight and Sunburst, which was then suddenly sucked into the locket, which then closed.
“I guess there was possible harm in asking,” said Starlight as she grabbed a nearby pillar to stay up. “What just happened?”
“Hrm,” said Sunburst. “Felt like when Tirek took my magic.”
Sunset suddenly took out a notebook and a pencil. “So, can you describe the feeling that occurred in detail?”
“Why are you suddenly so interested?” asked Starlight.
“For the purpose of scientific advancement!” declared Sunset.
“Really?”
“Well, actually, I just made this thing so I could try to get a transfer to an independent study program so I could minimize interpersonal contact because I hate everyone, and gaining more data on it would help guarantee it.”
“I preferred the previous way you put it,” said Sunburst with a frown.
“Hey, everypo… everybody!” announced Lightning Dust as she and Twilight approached. “I found Twilight! I see you found Sunset!” She paused. “And now I have absolutely no idea what to do next! Any ideas?”
“Well, Sunset made some kind of magical device,” said Starlight. “Maybe that’s the key.”
“Sure!” said Sunset. “If we can figure out a way to get you all home, that’d be even more proof I made something great, allowing me to get into that independent study program! Or even better, make me rich! There’s probably money in this!”
“Sounds great!” said Lightning Dust. “So, do you just open the doohickey and release the magic to open a portal?”
“‘Doohickey’?” asked Sunset.
“Whoops,” said Lightning Dust. “The technical term is thingamabob, right?”
Sunset stared at Lightning Dust briefly. “Uh, anyway, I’m sort of worried about using it like that. It’s not particularly tested, and thus it could cause all kinds of catastrophes. And worse yet, due to my proximity, those catastrophes could affect me! I think we’ll have to wait until after these games to really try for much testing. Otherwise, who knows what could happen?”
A rip in reality suddenly appeared in front of the group before disappearing just as quickly as it came.
“Something like that, you think?” asked Lightning Dust.
“Yes,” said Sunset with a sigh, “something like that.”
“The real question is why it happened to begin with,” said Sunburst. “I believe that–”
“Ahem,” came a voice. The group looked around to see Abacus Cinch standing there. “Sunset, that’s enough time to be mingling with those from Canterlot High. Let’s go and prepare for the first round of the Friendship Games.”
“But isn’t that not for a while?” said a confused Sunset.
“Early preparation is key to winning!” declared Cinch as she pulled Sunset away.
“Well, I guess we’ll have to put all of that on hold for a little while,” said Twilight.
“Put it on hold?” asked Starlight. “We just saw a rip in reality!”
“Sunset’s the one who made that device! Without her, we’re operating blindly!”
“I think we’re all getting a little too worried,” said Lightning Dust. “Maybe that was just reality’s way of saying hello to us.”
One round of the Friendship Games later…
“After a careful tallying of points—as opposed to a non-careful tallying of points—we’ve determined the students moving on to the Friendship Games’ special event,” announced Chrysalis. “And guess what? Just like usual, I was completely right about who was going to make it. Ha!”
“If we could move on…” said Cinch in an irritated tone.
“Anyway!” said Chrysalis. “We’re going to have a break between that and the next round. And that’ll give me plenty of time to tell Cinch here the rest of my theory about my anime!” She turned to Cinch. “So, the next reason is that the characters in the series–”
“How about we just start the next round now?” asked Cinch.
“Are you sure?” asked Chrysalis in a disappointed tone. “Because I didn’t even get to the really good parts before. I’m sure I could go on for at least half an hour–”
“Yes, I’m sure!” snapped Cinch.
“Fine, but when the plot twist inevitably comes, just know I called it!”
And so the next round was set to begin after some preparations that probably did not involve cheese or the repetition of a joke from chapter 5.
“I’m bored,” said Lightning Dust.
“The event hasn’t even started yet!” said Starlight.
“That’s exactly why I’m bored,” said Lightning Dust. “I’m also confused about what this entails.”
“There’s several different events, each with two members of each team, and once the team clears the applicable event, the next one begins for that team. Seems simple enough.”
“No, I mean, I understood that,” said Lightning Dust. “But it seems like a bad setup. You get one weak person on your team and then it can stall out permanently if they can’t advance. Seems badly designed.”
“All right!” said Chrysalis. “Are you all ready?” Before anyone had an actual chance to answer, Chrysalis quickly said, “then let’s go! Dedicate your hearts!”
After a few moments in which everyone tried to puzzle out why Chrysalis used such an odd-sounding phrase, everyone quickly remembered there was no point trying to figure out anything about Chrysalis and the competition began.
However, despite their apparently high degree of intelligence, neither Twilight nor Sunset appeared to have much in the way of physical ability. Their task to was to shoot an arrow at a target, but neither had any luck, and several minutes passed with neither hitting the targets.
“Well,” said Chrysalis over the intercom, “while we wait for one of these two to actually hit the target, I’d like to share my theory about that anime I mentioned to you all before. Luckily, it looks like we’ll have plenty of time!” Chrysalis took out a rather large stack of paper. “I’ve got it all prepared here. You see, I first realized that the potato girl was the mastermind behind everything when–”
Desperate to avoid a long-winded exposition from Chrysalis, both Sunset and Twilight suddenly found the ability to hit their targets with their arrows, and the race continued.
“Aw,” said Chrysalis in a disappointed tone, “I worked really hard on that, too.”
“Oh, good,” said Lightning Dust, “maybe this will be interesting now. See? This is the problem when you have it all set up like that. You can end up with them just taking forever to do one particular task. It’s just lousy course setup.”
The next part of the race was a motocross competition, but it ended up not mattering much because while walking off, Sunset inadvertently tripped on a rock and fell. The force of her pendant hitting the ground caused it to suddenly open up, sending what looked like a special effect spreading around. “Huh. That probably wasn’t good,” she said to herself. Apparently due to the special effect-like force that emerged earlier in this paragraph, various vine tendrils suddenly emerged and began attacking the contestants.
“All right!” said Lightning Dust. “Finally, things are getting cool!”
“I’m not sure this is supposed to be part of the event?” said Starlight uncertainly.
“Well, you just think that because–” started Lightning Dust before several giant plants emerged along with the vines to continue the attack. “Hrm. Maybe you’re right. That does seem a little extreme… unless that’s the point!”
“No, I’m pretty sure this was unexpected,” said Sunburst, observing various panic. “Maybe we should do something?”
“Nah, we should leave this to the professionals,” said Lightning Dust.
“‘Professionals’?!”
“Today is a good day to die!” declared Chrysalis dramatically as she stood up. After a brief pause, she added, “For the plants, that is! You see what I did there?” She pulled out two swords.
“Wait, where in the world were you even keeping–” started Cinch, but Chrysalis had already started running towards the plants. “Never mind,” she said with a sigh.
As the plants attempted to grab several contestants, Chrysalis used the swords and in an absolutely epic display, was able to cut up and defeat the plants without anyone getting hurt. “I bet this will do wonders for my approval rating!” she said.
Because the contestants for some reason opted to continue racing through all of this, the race did conclude, and the Wondercolts ended up winning.
“So!” said Chrysalis after she returned to the announcers’ booth. “I suppose this ties up the score? Because you won the first round, right?”
“You can’t possibly call that a fair race,” said Cinch.
“The plants were attacking indiscriminately, though,” said Chrysalis. “I’ll admit it did add an amount of randomness, but it didn’t seem like it favored either side. That seems fair.”
“Also, are you even legally allowed to carry around those swords on school grounds?”
“Probably,” said Chrysalis. “By the way, aren’t you going to ask why I have these in the first place?”
“No,” said Cinch.
“Aw,” said Chrysalis. “I was hoping someone would. But don’t you think that maybe under the circumstances we should suspend the whole thing and leave it as a tie? This does seem like something that should be freaking people out more than it is.”
“A tie?” asked Cinch in an offended tone. “Was this your strategy all along? To force us into accepting you as equals? I think not. The games will continue and Crystal Prep will prevail despite your antics.”
“Wait a minute,” said Chrysalis, “you did all this, right? You’re secretly a government agent who set up a false flag operation to make us ignore the destruction of the rainforest, right?”
Cinch stared blankly at Chrysalis.
“Hey, that’s no less stupid than you insisting on us continuing!” said Chrysalis.
“Well, I am insisting!”
“Okay, just know that you’re the one legally liable for any damages.”
A short time later…
“Hello again, everyone!” declared Chrysalis while on the stage, speaking into the microphone. “The results of the previous event have made the score tied, so we’re going into the final round. Now, you might be wondering ‘wait, shouldn’t this whole thing be suspended in order to figure out why in the world there were giant plants attacking people? Why is everyone being so weirdly blasé about this?’ Those are very good questions!” There was a pause. “Anyway, good luck!”
“Wait, what’s the competition?” asked a student.
“Oh,” said Chrysalis, “good point. I forgot to mention that. Let’s just go outside and get it started. Come to think of it, I’m not sure why I started my announcement here in the gymnasium rather than having everyone go outside and then say it.”
After a trip outside…
“Okay!” said Chrysalis. “Hopefully there will be no more giant plants or weird adjustments of reality. The next event is a capture the flag! Well, more accurately, a lamer version of it. Somewhere on campus, a pennant from each school has been hidden, and the first team to find their school’s flag and bring it back wins. Ordinarily we’d start now, but Cinch wanted to give a motivational speech or something to her students first. In the meantime, who wants to listen to me do karaoke of anime theme songs?”
While Chrysalis tried to set up for karaoke, Cinch was talking to the Shadowbolts. “I know I’m asking you to beat a team that isn’t playing fair, but Canterlot High must be made to understand that even with magic at their disposal, beating Crystal Prep is simply not an option.”
“And what if giant plants attack again?” asked Sugarcoat.
“A fair question,” said Cinch. “And unlike Chrysalis when she makes a comment like that, I’m going to provide an answer. I believe we–”
“Aw,” said Lemon Zest, “I thought it was funny when she said stuff like that.”
Cinch briefly frowned at Lemon Zest but then continued. “I believe we can fight fire with fire. Sunset, I’ve seen what your device can do back at the gymnasium. Containing magical energy is fine, but have you considered releasing it?”
“Isn’t that exactly what caused the giant plants to attack to begin with?” asked Sunset.
“Huh?” said Cinch.
“The thing opened up and made the plants show up,” said Sunset. “Did you not notice?”
“Well, I’m sure they must have deliberately tripped you somehow,” said Cinch. “Thus, they were still at fault. Also, I’m sure Chrysalis using those swords like that violates some kind of rule.”
“You’re actually complaining about the thing that actually saved people?”
“Still against the rules!” said Cinch. “So let us use that magic and win! Crystal Prep will not lose!”
“So, I have a quick question,” said Sugarcoat.
“What?” asked Cinch.
“Are you actually a guy?”
“With how obsessed you are with winning what, as Chrysalis pointed out, doesn’t seem to be that particularly important an event, is there some kind of personal inadequacy you’re trying really hard to compensate for?”
Cinch stared at Sugarcoat briefly, before saying, “Huh?”
“If so,” continued Sugar Coat, “I’ve heard there is medication for that sort of thing.”
Cinch blinked several times in confusion, then continued. “As I was saying. We can fight fire with fire if you unleash the magic.”
“Wouldn’t it make more sense to fight fire with water?” wondered Lemon Zest.
Cinch’s eye briefly twitched before recovering. “So, Sunset, would you? If not, I am fully prepared to start a song trying to convince you.”
“Actually, I’d suggest refusing,” said Indigo Zap. “That thing took so long to learn that it’d be really annoying to not have an opportunity to go through with it.”
“You prepared a song just for the off chance that there was some kind of magic going on that you wanted me to release?” asked a confused Sunset. “That seems awfully goofy for your otherwise stern demeanor.”
“It was a way to get more usage out of music class,” said Cinch airily. “Anyway, will you do it?”
“But what if it backfires and I end up absorbing it, making me crazy and try to combine alternate universes to potentially bring about the end of the world? And even worse, making me wear an outfit that makes me look like a really bad cosplayer?”
Cinch stared at Sunset.
“Okay, that last part did seem odd,” said Sunset. “But seriously, couldn’t this just backfire on us just as easily, as we have no way to control it?”
“Sunset,” said Cinch, “I should mention your entire application for Everton is at stake here.”
“Oh, come on,” said Sunset, “you think they’re going to care about what you think after I demonstrate what this thing can do? ‘Well, this pendant has all kinds of magical powers that could overturn everything we know about science… but a high school principal doesn’t like Sunset, so we’ll pass on all of it.’ That sounds doubtful.”
Lightning Dust, Starlight, and Sunburst approached. “Hey,” said Lightning Dust, “I know this might be a bad time, but I really wanted to–”
Suddenly, the pendant opened up and, similar to earlier in this story, grabbed magic from Starlight and Sunburst. “Huh,” mused Lightning Dust. “I guess this was a bad time.”
“That does it,” said Cinch as she suddenly grabbed the pendant from Sunset. “If you’re not going to use this, then I will.” She opened the pendant and was engulfed by the magic in it, transforming into a being that looked kind of like Midnight Sparkle from the original movie but not really. “With this power, we’re sure to win! Because they’ll forfeit!”
“How are they going to forfeit?” asked Sunset.
“Oh, I’ll just simply destroy them all,” said Cinch in a matter-of-fact tone.
“That’s where you’re wrong!” declared Chrysalis as she suddenly ran up. “I’ll stop you!”
“With what?” said Cinch in an unimpressed tone. “Those swords?”
“No,” said Chrysalis, “with this!” She bit into her hand and suddenly turned into a giant.
“Okay, okay, stop right there,” said Starlight. “That did not happen at all. Cinch didn’t absorb any magic, and Chrysalis never became a giant. How did you even recall conversations you weren’t present for?”
“Really good hearing,” said Lightning Dust.
“I liked it!” said Trixie. “I thought Chrysalis having the ability to turn into a giant was actually a very interesting plot twist!”
“Exactly!” said Lightning Dust. “I’m just trying to add some more style to the whole thing. The way things actually ended was considerably more boring.”
“How was it boring?” demanded Starlight.
“You mean Cinch grabbing Sunset’s game and destroying it, causing Sunset to get angry and open up the pendant and absorb its power?” said Lightning Dust. “Sure, that seemed exciting at first, but then Chrysalis just showed up and said Sunset could just use the power to fix her game, so she did, then we asked her to open up a portal back to our world with her remaining power, and we left. So anticlimactic! So I changed things a bit to set up a big climactic battle between Chrysalis and Cinch.”
“Huh,” said Sunset. “So that dream was prophetic…”
“Dream?” asked Trixie.
“You remember when that whole Tantawhatchamacallit thing was infesting our dreams?” asked Sunset.
“Not really,” said Trixie. “I don’t remember my dreams very well.”
“Never mind,” said Sunset.
“Can I go back to my story?” said Lightning Dust. “I really wanted to get to the part where Starlight, Sunburst, and I all became cyborgs. We were way too irrelevant the way things actually went, and I wanted to fix that in my version.”
“Maybe later,” said Sunset. “So, Starlight, it seems you and Sunburst got along pretty well?”
“I suppose,” said Starlight, “outside of the whole inadvertently opening a portal to another universe.”
“Oh, that’s no problem,” said Sunset. “Anyway, you re-made a friend! I therefore have nothing else to teach you! Congratulations, you just graduated!” She grabbed Starlight’s hoof and shook it vigorously.
“Um… thanks?” said Starlight. “But where should I be living now?”
“That’s not my problem!” said Sunset. “Um, no, I mean, uh… maybe with Sunburst?”
“I suppose I do have a spare room,” said Sunburst. “But do you–”
“Great!” said Sunset as she shook his hoof vigorously. “Have fun together! Don’t open up any more portals! Anyway, we should probably all get going now.”
“Aw,” said Trixie in a disappointed tone. “I wanted to stay and see all of the ship teases between the two of them.”
“The what between the two of us?” asked Sunburst.
“You really don’t want to know,” said Gilda.
“By the way,” said Lightning Dust, “we’ve been talking about what I got into with Sunburst and Starlight. What kind of crazy shenanigans did you all get up to in the meantime?”
“Well,” said Flim, “we might have gotten into crazy shenanigans had something gone wrong with the planned Crystalling, but they decided to skip the whole thing. Some were initially upset, but then there was a big feast and everypony got cheered up.”
“The feast was my idea!” said Gilda proudly.
“So!” said Sunset. “I guess that wraps everything up.” She paused, then awkwardly added, “So, uh, bye.” She walked off.
“About time you came back from your vacation,” said Chrysalis. “You missed a lot.”
“Like what?” asked Luna.
“One of the students from Crystal Prep somehow tapped into magical power, which made giant plants appear and attack the students, then later on absorbed all the power into herself after Cinch broke her video game and looked like she was about to wreak havoc, then I turned into a giant and fought it all off.”
Luna stared blankly at Chrysalis.
“Sorry,” said Chrysalis, “bad memory. I didn’t turn into a giant. I just suggested she use the power to fix the game, then she opened up some portals and some random people went through them, and that was it.”
“Why wasn’t this mentioned in the newspapers?”
“Because they had more important things to cover,” said Chrysalis. “A celebrity getting divorced dominated most of the news.”
“Sometimes I think something is just wrong with the world,” said Luna.
“In case you were wondering,” said Chrysalis, “the end result of the Friendship Games is that the whole thing exhausted Sunset enough she wouldn’t compete anymore, though she had probably lost interest anyway, and thus we won by default. Then Cinch snapped as a result and went on a killing spree.”
“Wait, what?”
“Oh, wait, no, that last part didn’t happen either,” said Chrysalis. “She sure did get angry, though. Anyway, now that that’s all over, want to hear my theory about this anime I’ve been watching?” Before Luna had a chance to answer, Chrysalis launched into her explanation. “You see, I’m convinced that the mastermind behind everything is that potato girl. My first reason is–”
“Wait,” said Luna, “are you talking about that one with the titans?”
“Oh!” said Chrysalis. “You’ve heard of it?”
Luna sighed and facepalmed. “Chrysalis, she isn’t the mastermind behind everything.”
“How would you know?” asked Chrysalis.
“Because I read the comic that anime was based on, which is further along, and that wasn’t what happened.”
“Oh,” said Chrysalis in a disappointed tone. She paused. “Wait a minute, you pay attention to it too? Do you know what that means? It means we can be Anime Buddies!”
“I’m actually more of a reader than a–” started Luna before she was interrupted by Chrysalis again.
“So here’s a question!” said Chrysalis. “I’ve been watching this other one about a world where everyone has a superpower. If I had a superpower, what do you think I would have?”
Luna sighed. “I don’t know. Flight?”
“Flight? Pfft!” said Chrysalis. “Flight is almost as lame of a superpower as shapeshifting.”
“You were surprisingly nice on this trip,” said Gilda as the train left. “Did you take your attempt to teach Starlight about friendship to heart?”
“Pfft!” said Lightning Dust. “She was probably just doing all that to try to get Starlight to live with Sunburst so Sunset wouldn’t have to put up with her anymore.”
“That would make more sense,” said Gilda.
“Oh, shut up,” said Sunset. “Like you lot would’ve done anything different.”
“So!” said Trixie. “During your big adventure, did you come up with any ideas for how to handle Anon-a-Miss?”
“Who is ‘Anon-a-Miss’?” asked Sunset.
“A character who appeared once in a Mare Do Well comic,” said Trixie. “She was a green alien who had no real personality. It was supposed to be a joke on self-insert stories.”
“Didn’t go over very well,” said Lightning Dust. “Fans thought the parody was a bit stale and too in your face. But to answer your question, Trixie. No, I didn’t find any inspiration. Let’s just forget the whole thing.”
“Good call!” said Gilda. “I never cared for that story myself.”
“Wait, you read the comic?” asked Suri.
“I mean… um… I assume I wouldn’t have cared for it based on the sound of it,” said Gilda. “Because I certainly never read it.”
“One thing still bothers me,” said Lightning Dust. “Why did only Starlight and Sunburst get hit by the magic absorber thingamabob?”
“I don’t know,” said Sunset, “maybe the magical power that unicorns have carried over into that universe in a latent manner, and because you’re a pegasus, it didn’t affect you?”
“Huh,” said Lightning Dust. “That makes a lot more sense than magical powers usually do.”
“Well, just as well we didn’t go to that whole Crystalling thing,” said Chrysalis, “as it looks like it got cancelled. By the way, Luna, do you ever get the feeling that you were only supposed to have a small part at the end of something as a joke, but then you ended up showing up a lot more, or at least a hallucination or alternate version of yourself showed up a lot more, and therefore turned what was supposed to be an ironic title into an accurate one?”
Luna stared at Chrysalis for a few moments before finally answering. “Um, no?”
“Phew!” said Chrysalis. “I was afraid you did and was worried for your sanity. That takes a load off my mind.”
“Why in the world would you think I was thinking that?” asked Luna.
“You were just making that kind of face,” said Chrysalis with a shrug. “By the way, want to hear my theory about this comic I’ve been reading? I think I’ve figured out the mastermind behind the whole thing.”