//------------------------------// // Ch. 1 White // Story: Cheating Death // by WIL_I_ZIN //------------------------------// The following is a non-profit fan-based work of fiction. My Little Pony Friendship is Magic and all subsidiaries are owned by Hasbro studios, DMX media and Lauren Faust. Cheating Death Written by Wilizin Edited by HoovesMcCoy, AuthorGenesis, and Anonymous Chapter 1 - White ----- White. All I could see was white. White above and below, to my left and right. And there I stood—at least I thought I was standing—while I tried to figure out where I was. I had probably died. Funny, I really should have been panicking, but here I was floating in a void like it was no big deal. At least, I assumed I was floating, I could have been laying down or spinning like a top. I was probably in shock, but how could I be in shock if I was dead? Then I felt like I somehow couldn’t be dead, not yet at least. Maybe that was panic finally setting in? “You sure yammer a lot for a corpse.” I whipped my head around to face the voice and saw a human-shaped figure looming over me. It was wearing a black robe that hung open to reveal a “Blue Öyster Cult” T-shirt underneath. His face was… I can’t describe it. No, I literally can’t describe it. Every time I looked to where his head should have been, I knew I saw a face, but I just couldn’t remember how it looked. It was like the memory vanished from my mind the moment it was formed. “Do you always talk to yourself this much? Perhaps you are one of those people who are so self-involved, you narrate your own existence?” Wait… You can hear me? “Maybe I can, maybe I cannot. Who can say?” That’s kind of disturbing. “Well you are the one who is broadcasting his thoughts all over.” Argh, this guy was irritating. Alright, ‘Don’t think out loud, don’t think out loud’ I told myself. I repeated it in my mind over and over. Then I looked at the figure and thought, “Man, are you ugly.” “So is your face.” I mentally screamed and the figure laughed in response. I was more than irritated. Who was he to come in here, read my thoughts, and insult me? “I bet you are wondering who I am?” Well duh, I just thought that... was he still reading my mind? “No, I cannot read your mind. I cannot read minds at all. You really do not understand the concept of bluffing do you?” If he was just bluffing, how did he know exactly what I was thinking? “You humans are very VERY easy to read.” I scowled and the figure laughed at my reaction. This guy was a troll of epic proportions. “Eayhahaaaaaaa.” The figure's laughter tapered off and he glanced at a non-existent wrist watch and sighed. “As much fun as this diversion has been, I do have a schedule to keep. If you would be so kind as to follow me.” The figure turned into the void, and started to walk away from me. I hesitated a few seconds and considered my options, of which there were none. So I jogged for a moment to catch up. I caught up to the figure and we strolled at a leisurely pace. There was a distinct lack of sound from our walking, which I chalked up to the whole ‘being dead thing’. Speaking of which, I still felt underwhelmed by it all. I was expecting much more than… this. “I am Death by the way, nice to meet you,” the figure said nonchalantly. The words snapped me out of my musings. It looked as though he was waiting for a response. “I’m Felix. Felix Jackson.” It felt odd giving my name so freely to Death—and shouldn’t he know my name as well?—but everything was feeling kind of surreal at this point so I went with it. “Well Felix, I will be able to deal with your case in just a moment, but first we have another soul to pick up.” As soon as Death finished speaking—I still can’t get over that fact—I saw a figure in the distance. It looked rather short, and as we got closer, I realized that it was standing... on four legs. When I got close enough to make out all the details I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. There before me was an honest to God pony. Oh, I’m not talking about those things you see at the fair that give rides to children. I’m talking about the ones from that show “My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic”. Big head and eyes? Check. Ridiculous color-scheme? Check, it was an emerald green. Mark on its rump? Check, it was a picture of a pony sailing through a hoop of fire. It was a female pegasus pony to be specific. In hindsight, I really should have given that pony a great big hug, but I was too shocked by her existence to even think of that. I was something of a Brony, a male fan of the cartoon My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. My sister introduced me to the show, and I latched onto the MLP craze like superglue after only a few episodes. We stopped in front of the figure, and she looked straight at Death. A sudden realization came over the pegasus, and her head drooped. “I’m dead, aren’t I?” she said rather sullen. My heart at this burst, and I wanted to console the little girl (Even though she was not so small, she was about the size of a large dog or average wolf and her head could easily reach my shoulders) but thankfully Death moved between me and the pegasus, preventing me from making a fool of myself. “I am afraid so.” Death had a tone of understanding and sympathy to its voice. It was a stark contrast from my introduction to the otherworldly being. “Hey, how come you’re being so nice to her?” I asked a little insulted that Death wasn’t being his snarky self. “That is because you are not a cute little pony.” Death said flatly looking right at me. I swear even though I could “see” his face, Death was smirking at me. The pegasus had not heard this comment and was instead transfixed on me. She looked extremely bewildered at my existance. “Wha- what the heck is that?” She said pointing a hoof at me. GASP, she is startled by my appearance! Oh, woe is me to have been cursed to look horrific in the eyes of a fair maiden! And even though I didn’t believe that for a second, I was at least a little crestfallen at her reaction to me. “Oh do not mind him. He is just another case I have to take care of.” Death said standing up. “Now, if the two of you would be so kind as to follow me into my office.” As soon as Death said those words a Door stood before us. It looked like a solid oak wood door with a window in the top half. On the glass read: ‘Death-13493B: Afterlife Placement and Reinsertion Department.’ Death opened the door and walked right in, the pony was the first to follow as I still stood there dumbstruck by not seeing the door earlier. “You coming slowpoke?” I snapped out of my stupor again thanks to Death’s chide attitude. Walking through the doorway, I was surprised to see an office on the other side. It wasn’t just an ordinary office, it was styled like it was straight out of a Dick Tracy comic book. The neon signs outside, the dirty windows, the mess of papers everywhere, and a small rotating fan on the ceiling that had an annoying ‘wirwirwir’ sound coming from it. All of it added to that feel of an office in New York City. “Wow, you really must love the 40s with this kind of style going.” I commented. Death sat down behind his desk and looked up at me surprised. “Oh really? That is what you see? I have not had someone visualize that in many years.” “What do you mean ‘That is-‘ gah! I mean, ‘That’s what I see?’” The way Death refused to use contractions was starting to get to me. “Well everyone sees my office a little differently, it is usually a representation of the persons soul. For example, miss?” Death motioned to the pegasus and she turned to him. “What do you see my office looking like?” “Um, we’re in the middle of a field.” She said rather unsure. My face fell flat. “What?” “Actually it looks like the field I used to practice my stunt flying when I was just a little filly.” She mused. She stared off into the distance; she must have been reliving old memories. “You see,” Death chuckled, “it is different for everyone. In fact to the miss right here I look like a pony with a black cloak, do I not?” The pegasus nodded. “So as I said everything here even how I look is a representation of your soul.” I was quite intrigued by this. A ‘representation of my soul’? Does that mean deep down I love old detective stories? Although, that would explain my pension for trench coats and fancy fedoras. “Now miss, what is your name?”, Death asked as he pulled out a very large book from a shelf. “Gusty Rush, sir.” the Pegasus stated. While Death flipped through his book, Gusty started looking nervous. I would be to if I was being judged by Death. “Ah here we are,” exclaimed Death, pointing to some writing on his book that was in a font so small I couldn’t even see spaces between lines “Gusty Rush, death at 30 years via performance accident.” Gusty looked heartbroken at this. “So I died… right in the middle of the show?” She started to tear up. I wanted to reach over and comfort her, but my own awkwardness stop me. Death then bent forward and patted her on the shoulder. “Hey now, you died doing what you loved. Is that not a good thing?” Death tried to reassure her. “But all those people in the crowd, and the foals watching, they must have been horrified.” Gusty was near bursting and she shook in grief from the pain she must have caused from ponies witnessing her death. “There, there.” Death said rubbing her shoulder in support speaking in a soft, caring voice. “I will tell you what, I do not normally do this but I am going to tell you what your death REALLY did.” Gusty looked up still sniffing at Death. “I will have you know that because of witnessing your death, three of those fillies went on to become famous stunt fliers like yourself. One went on to write a bestselling novel about your life. You become one of Equestria’s most famous fliers immortalized in the Hall of the Greats. And those are just the highlights, many more remember how you always did any stunt no matter the risk, for as you said ‘If there is no risk in how I live, then what is the point of experiencing life?’” Gusty actually started to smile, her eyes still full of tears but her face had changed to that of one of joy. “That actually happens?” she asked with a wavering voice. “As true as the rivers of time it is.” Death said with smirk. He leaned back and wrote a small note in his book. “Gusty Rush,” Death paused, then motioned to his right, “enjoy the afterlife.”  A bright light erupted to my left and I held up my hand to shield my eyes from it. Dang, I thought, Heaven must have one heck of an electric bill. “Thank you.” Gusty said and she leapt up and hugged Death. Now THERE is something I thought I’d never see. A pony hugging Death. What’s next, Cthulhu playing with a kitten? Death patted her on the back and she jumped down. “Thank you so much.” She turned to me then and looked kind of forlorn. “And good luck to you sir.” She then walked off into the light and disappeared. The light then vanished as abruptly as it appeared. “Now then,” Death spoke as he grabbed a different book off the shelf, “Felix Jackson…Felix Jackson.” Death murmured as he scanned down the line of incredibly small text. “Ah here we are! Felix Jackson, Death at …” Death stopped as he looked at me, then back to the paper. “Now wait a minute here, how old are you?” “Um, 25.” I stated plainly. I could swear Death’s eye twitched, but I wouldn’t know as I couldn’t remember if he had eyes at all. “How did you die?” He asked a little forcefully. The question hit me hard and forced me back to what happened just before I awoke in the white void. Images flashed before my mind as I remembered what happened, all of it. “I was heading home, waiting at the light rail station, it was really hot.” As I said this my mind flashed the images in my head. They were so vivid the office melted away and I saw the station as if I was a third party narrating a story. “I was reading a story on my cell phone, and I looked up, the train was coming.” I started to sweat; before my eyes the scene transpired as I spoke it, like watching a movie about my life. “There was this girl, no more than nine, she had these rollerblades and was skating up and down the station.” My voice became rough and crackly “She shouldn’t have been doing that, WHY WEREN'T HER PARENTS WATCHING HER?” My voice broke and my pupils shrank. “She slipped, over the edge, the train was too close, I ran.” I just snapped and my voice became monotone. “I jumped down, she wasn’t moving, I picked her up, I saw a light, I turned…” I sat there silently for who knows how long. My mind was reliving that moment over and over. I had died and I couldn’t even save one life. I felt wracked, worthless. I slammed my fist on the desk. “It’s my fault she’s dead. I failed.” Death leaned back and chuckled. I shot him a stare that was filled with malice for laughing at my grief. “Calm down. You did not fail.” Death said. “Wha-?” I was confused. I remember only picking her up and then being hit. “It says here that when the train was about to hit you, you threw her to safety, all she suffered from was a broken leg and a concussion.” “So then, I actually did something right?” I was overjoyed, sure I wouldn’t leave a lasting impression like Gusty may have on her world, but I saved one life and that was enough. “No, actually you did something wrong.” Death stated plainly. “What?” And now I was back to being confused. “You were not supposed to save her. In fact, you were supposed to keep reading on your cell phone and not realize what had happened until after the train was over her.” I was mortified, “You mean I was to let her die?! That’s horrible!” “Actually she would have been just fine.” “Wha-?” “She was small enough and placed right between the rails, the train would have passed right over her and she would have only suffered a concussion from her fall.” “……WHAAAAAAA?” “This event was supposed to be a wake up call for you and cause you to improve your life. All you seem to have done is given a little girl a broken leg and made yourself into hamburger.” Death sat back and chuckled. “It is quite humorous when you think about it.” “NO!” I shouted in exasperation. “NO IT'S NOT! You’re telling me I died, WHEN I DIDN’T NEED TO?!” “Pretty much. In fact the chances of a man like you actually deviating from the plan were quite small, this was basically a fluke.” I slumped back. Great going Felix, you do something wonderful and you find out you do the ONE THING the universe didn’t expect you to do! Well this depressed me to no end. “Aw, cheer up, technically you were not supposed to die yet so guess what, you are going back!” Death said in a chipper tone. “Going… back? Didn’t you say I was just turned into hamburger?” I asked incredulously. “Well, TECHNICALLY, you were hit by the train and flew through the air, crashing and snapping your spine. I just added the hamburger part to make it sound flashier.” said Death, advertising my death like it was a product. “So you are going to send me back as a vegetable? Lovely.” I was even less thrilled than before. “No. No. Nothing like that. With just a few forms, I will rewind time to right before you were hit, and alter your path so that you fly through the air and all you break is your leg. It’s much simpler paperwork than it sounds. Trust me if you were still alive it’d be impossible, can’t influence the living, free will and all that.” Death explained. “If you can go back in time why not just alter it so things proceed like they were supposed to?” I asked, poking a hole in his logic. “If I did that then I would have to alter the fact that the girl was injured further by you, that and the others on the trains station saw you got hit and flew through the air and broke something in your body. This way everything proceeds as it was now playing out, except you do not die! Also it is because if I were to do what you are suggesting it would take MOUNTAINS of paperwork and physical work to re-write memories and fix the situation. And there is no way in the nine circles of Hell that you will convince me to do that.” Death explained further, plugging up my logic hole. Death grabbed something from one of the drawers and set it on top of the desk. It looked like some sort of legal document.“Now then, I just need to fill out this for reinsertion into the time stream and once it's signed it will be fact.” “Oh joy.” I said flatly. I wasn’t exactly looking forward to going back, especially knowing that my life was going to be complicated by an injury. I sighed internally, as this wasn’t exactly what I expected the afterlife to be, not that I was complaining. At least I wasn’t being dragged into the bowels of hell or something. “Okay, and you need to return to Earth designation…… hrm, give me a second here to look this up.” Death murmured and he shifted to looking in the book where my name was. In a flash I had an idea. An AWFUL idea. An-awfully-amazing-yet-completely-stupid-but-if-it-works-damn-is-it-going-to-be-awesome-idea. I would have to work quickly and hope it would work. Scanning the room I looked for anything that looked out of the ordinary, I noticed a little plaque on the wall which had some golden scythe on it. “Say Death,” I said quizzically pointing to the ornament on the wall. “What is that?” “Hrm?” Death looked where I pointed and he beamed with what I assumed was pride. (Quite literally, it was as if someone turned on a spotlight behind his head or something.) “Oh that? Pffffft. It is just a little award, that is all.” He was obviously goading me to ask him to continue. It was about as subtle as a sledgehammer to the head. “What’s it an award for?” I asked. At this Death hopped off his desk and waltzed over to the wall. He looked at it and began droning on and on. “It is the award for the best reaper of the millennia. Now that may seem like a long time to you, but in subjective time it is like an employee of the month reward. But what makes this so special is-” Death continued to ramble marveling at his own little piece of ego boost. While he gabbed, I slid the form and the books over to myself. Quickly I scanned through the book Gusty's name was in to find what I needed. My finger fell on her name and I slid it over to find the designation ‘Earth – Equ 547’. Quickly I scribbled on the form my destination as the same and slide everything back into the order it was originally in just as Death turned around from his long spiel. “- and that is why I always hand off those cases to the newbies down in D department. Ahhhh, memories… So, where were we again?” “You were just about to sign the form and send me back.” I said. “Ah yes, whelp let me speed you on your way then.” Death plopped down into his seat and picked up his quill and began to write on the form. Then suddenly he stopped. “Wait a minute, something is wrong here.” Oh crap, he noticed. I’m screwed, so totally screwed! He’s gonna send me to hell for this! Eternal torment with no cola anywhere but cheap imitation knock off brands. “I forgot to put in a DATE on this form. Ha! Silly me.” I sighed heavily in relief internally, ‘Dodged a bullet on that one.’ I thought. “Okay then!”, Death said “Everything is in order, I hope you enjoy the rest of your life.” As he said this, I began to feel myself fading away. Everything I saw began to dissolve into black. “Thanks,” I said with a smirk “I will.” Death then quickly glanced at the form again and something caught his eye. “Wait a minute…” Death said with concern. “That is not supposed to be there! What the-?” “Something wrong?” I asked still fading away. “This destination you should be going to! You…” Death looked up and glared at me. If I wasn’t already dead I swear that stare could have killed me right then and there. “You did this.” Malice dripped from his voice. “Whaaaaaat? Me?” I mocked him as now I was practically gone. “You will not live to regret this bub! Trust me, I SHOULD KNOW.” Death yelled as he pointed a bony finger at me. “Whaaaaat? Sorry, I can’t hear you over all the fucks that I don't have.” And upon the end of that sentence I faded from Death’s sight and became completely entrenched in black. The office was gone and instead of just a white void I was now in a black one. Then I felt a sucking sensation as if I was being catapulted across the very space of existence. My entire being was flung with such force that I remember slamming into a wall of sorts and passing out. I awoke to the sounds of birds calling and the rustling of leaves. My body felt sore as if I was hit by a train. I then catapulted up and remembered everything that happened. My ‘death’, meeting Death and that pony, then tricking Death into sending me to what I hoped was... Equestria. I stood up and looked around, and saw I was in a forest. One that was thick with trees and shrubbery of every kind. Being the savvy mind that I was, I hypothesized that I was in the Everfree forest. However without some major evidence stating otherwise, I could have been in Alaska for all I knew. As if to confirm my location, I turned around to find that I had been thrown right into a crumbling wall of the Ancient Castle of the Pony Sisters. “HOT DAMN!” I shouted at the top of my lungs, “Take that DEATH! I’m in Equestria, my leg isn't broken, and I’ve got four years to make up for!” I laughed in elation. All I had to do was find my way out of the forest and bing bang boom, I could finally meet real, live, ponies! If there was anyone around they would have heard a high pitch squee coming from me. After my geek spasm, I took my first step forward in the new world, and tripped and stumbled forward. “So much for ‘One small step for man’” I grumbled. Then, right where I stood not a second ago, fell a large stone. I looked up to see that it was once one of the statues that ornamented the sides of the castle. If I hadn’t moved… I shuddered at the thought. “You’re gonna have to do better than that ya bony freak!” I shouted to the sky. Well, Death is out to get me, and I’m in a forest surrounded by death traps. One thing was for certain though, I was NOT going to die without meeting at least one pony. I had a plan, and I’ll be damned before I finish it. ---------- Meanwhile on the outskirts of the forest… Fluttershy had just returned from the Everfree forest from visiting Zecora. She had gone to get some medicine for some of her animals that had caught a rather nasty cold. Her ears flicked back and she turned her head to face the forest. “What was that sound?” she asked herself a little scared. “That was like no creature I have heard before.” She decided to just ignore it. After all most creatures who lived in the Everfree STAYED in the Everfree. At least, she hoped they did.