//------------------------------// // 6: Moonlight Serenade // Story: An Even Worse Self Insert // by ROBCakeran53 //------------------------------// Exhaustion. There are some days when you’re just so tired, you can’t or don’t want to do anything. All feeling leaves you, and you just sit around, or lay in bed all day. Some have argued that you need it, or that you worked hard the other days of the week, so it’s warranted. But what if you feel like you hadn’t? What if you feel as though you’ve just been shuffling around for weeks on end, and you’re just taking your free time for granted? Tonight, I’m tired. So very tired. I didn’t do anything, I didn't see anyone. I’m so lazy, I’m not even playing my 78’s, but instead an album set. Glenn Miller never sounded so good, except in person, and well, that time has come and gone long ago. How I would have loved to be there watching a live performance. Albums, or as some may call them LP’s, or even just 33’s, are a totally different animal than the older, and more traditional 78’s that dominate my record collection. Usually they sound better, are a lot easier to clean and keep clean. The needles wear less, likewise the records. Not as easy to break, although I’ve broken a few over my years regardless. Tonight, I wasn’t expecting any guests. Anyone, or well, as of recently, anypony to show up. It had been several days since the last time I saw her. For a while, I was beginning to think that she was actually here. Real. I mean, I’d felt her touch me, but was it? Or have I fallen into a stupor that’s just got me so messed up I’m imagining things? Most days I don’t like to try and trust my mind, the conflicts and issues of my life messing me up and putting me on the wrong path. Or right path, just wrong direction, either way I digress. Having sobered up for several days, my nights felt longer. Even with the broken monotony of getting television again hasn’t seemed to fill that void in my heart, my soul. Jonny Carson can only do so much, you know. So after another week of work, my dry spell of tips finally was relieved, and to celebrate I’d bought myself a bottle of my favorite bourbon. Sipping the glass carefully, it burned down my throat, and I knew I’d be regretting it tomorrow. Oh well, let me suffer. Suddenly, I felt my ears pop. The record player was still going, playing another of of Mister Miller’s best songs. “I was wondering when you were gonna show,” I said. “Were thou expecting Us?” That… was not the voice of Twilight Sparkle. I turned my head slowly to the left, and standing in the center of my bedroom was a dark blue pony. Alicorn, of course, with mane and tail that shimmered and danced around her body. The little stars hiding in her hair were roused by the lone lamp in my bedroom, although not so bright as I’d imagined. Princess Luna looked, well, like she did in the show. Then again, so did Twilight. Weird, my brain struggled to wrap around the idea. “I am to gauge by your reaction, Princess Twilight did not inform you of Our arrival.” I slowly shook my head. The mare let out a sigh, one sounding like it was tired. Or was it because I was tired, and everything just felt tired and exhausted, regardless of the action, be it my own or company’s? I looked to the glass of bourbon in my hand, the ice cubes almost gone. I took another sip, leaning back into the couch. The song continued on, so I looked back to the center of my bedroom again. She was still there, just standing still, looking around my walls. “You know, usually Twilight just takes a seat next to me,” I said. “Oh? And you expect Us to just abide by what she does?” I shrugged. “You’re the one here, you do whatever. Just as I’ve told her before, don’t kill yourself, and don’t break any records.” I could feel the temperature in my bedroom increase ten fold, the mare was literally steaming with rage. I took another sip of my bourbon. “How dare you insinuate that we would so carelessly just-” Princess Luna, while giving me a death glare, made to step towards me, however her hoof caught onto what I guessed was the power cord to my lamp, because suddenly she hit the floor, the lamp hit the floor, and all was dark. “You alright there, princess?” I snickered. Man, I’m pretty sure I was going to die tonight, but fuck it. I heard her try to get back onto her hooves, so deciding to be nice, I turned on the lamp beside me. Thankfully, from where I sat, I could tell she hadn’t broken the glass dome of the lamp, just the bulb had gone out. Considering I still used my old stock of incandescent bulbs, I wasn’t too shocked. Luna however had anger and embarrassment fighting to claim her face. I just shook my head, patting the seat next to me. “Come on, grumpy pants. Take a load off your brain.” Anger triumphed in her expression war, but she bit her tongue and carefully trotted over to the couch. After testing with a hoof, she then walked up onto the sofa and took a seat. On a side note, I realized she wasn’t wearing any of her fancy… armor? Whatever it was called was lost on me. Glenn Miller continued to play his music, although the song currently playing I couldn’t place off the top of my head. I felt like going back to the previous song, but with how Luna was glaring at me, I wasn’t too keen on any sudden movements. “So, you are this human that Princess Twilight speaks of?” “I guess?” I shrugged. “I wasn’t aware if she was talking with other people than me.” Luna shook her head. “No, thou are the only one she speaks of.” “All bad things, I hope.” Luna’s expression lightened. “No, but she speaks of how you put yourself down quite often.” “Yeah, that’s a good way to put it. Care for a drink? I got water, Sprite Zero-” “Pray tell, what spirits is it you consume now?” I blinked. “Bourbon?” “Then that should suffice. Stoned, if it isn’t too much trouble.” Taken a little bit aback, I just shook my head as I stood. It also only just now dawned on me that I was only in a T-shirt and underwear. Were I not so tired I think I would have given a damn. Walking past the mare, I went to the back of my bedroom where my mini-fridge and glass cabinet were. Taking out a… lets say clean glass, I grabbed the small ice tray from the tiny freezer and put some cubes into it. Then walking back, I stopped at my writing desk, opening a door I pulled out my bourbon and poured the amber liquid in. I walked back, handed over the glass, which the princess took in her magic, and sat down. Right as the record player went quiet with a clunk. I sighed. “That was quite lovely music, We especially liked the one We first heard upon entering this realm.” “Yeah, you would.” Luna raised the glass to her muzzle and took a sip. I could tell by the wrinkle in her muzzle she probably never actually had alcohol before, which really shouldn’t have- “You have very poor taste in bourbon.” -Or, you know, she actually knows her shit and that my taste in liquor is also shit. “It’s cheap, it burns, and it numbs my brain. Beggars can’t be choosers.” “Tis a fair statement.” Luna sipped from her glass. “Now, as you were saying, about the song?” “Oh, right. It’s called Moonlight Serenade.” Luna looked to the silent player. Before she could even ask, I was already standing, starting the turntable. I had to help give it a couple spins manually, the motor for thirty three revolutions was getting weak. More luck, I knew this vinyl set well, and which song was the target. Carefully I placed the needle arm down, and the beauty of Glenn Miller played through my speakers. I took my seat again, reaching for my glass when I realized it was empty. I sighed, although so did Luna. Looking to the mare, her eyes were closed as she tried desperately to sink further into my couch than any sane person would. Only The Shadow knows what lies in those depths… “You look as bad as I feel.” “The feeling is mutual.” “Uh, I don’t think that’s how the phrase is used.” For the first time, Luna smiled. “Maybe, maybe not. We are still grasping these new phrases.” I thought for a moment. “It’s been like, five years. How are you still struggling?” Luna frowned again. “Just let Us enjoy this music and spirit, no?” I waved my hands in mock surrender. “As you wish, oh majesty.” I stood, repeating the steps to pour myself another glass of bourbon. Before sitting, Luna hovered to me her empty glass, shaking it at me. Not even caring, I took her empty glass, but handed her my full one. She rose a brow at me, but I ignored it as I poured, again, another glass of bourbon. This time skipping the ice, I took my seat and sipped from her glass. “Dare We say, that seems unsanitary.” “It’s alcohol, it sterilizes.” Luna appeared to want to argue, but that tired expression returned again as she sunk into the couch and took a sip. Well, I guess now was as good of a time as any. “So, rough day?” Luna didn’t respond, her eyes closed as the song was wrapping up. “Or rough night then?” Luna’s right ear twitched, but she didn’t move to speak. The next song began to play, and Luna started to stiffen up in her… shoulders? Did ponies have shoulders? The thought was shoved aside as I stood, and quickly picked up the arm and shifted it back, and slowly lowered it to play Moonlight Serenade again. As the song began, Luna relaxed and took another sip. I followed suit. “Sorry, I wish I had this song on original seventy eight. Would be easier than the mood being interrupted by another song.” Again, Luna didn’t respond. I let the song go for a minute, then decided to break the silence. “Rough day at work.” At that Luna scoffed. “You don’t know the meaning of rough work.” It was my turn to have an angry expression, but I let it simmer down. “No, every job is hard in its own way. Mine is very… manual intensive. Plus being a Sunday I was alone for my entire shift.” “As the only pony who runs the night court, I can attest to that being alone for your entire job is tiresome.” I noticed she let the We thing slip, but didn’t feel like mentioning it. “Yeah, and well, I’m discovering all these new problems I’m having, as I’m getting older. I didn’t even understand what anxiety meant until my doctor said I had it. I just thought I was dying.” The next song was playing on the player, but neither of us paid no mind. “We- I, too, have had those feelings. When I was first brought back from Nightmare Moon’s control.” “Yeah, I can see that.” “So what happened?” Luna asked, her eyes locking with mine. What did happen? I was overwhelmed. It was a beautiful day out. Planes were flying like it was the last day of Summer, then it would be too cold for people to go fly. I had planes comign and going, needing fuel, needing services, needing needing needing… “I had a panic attack. I thought I was dying.” I guessed Luna was staring at me intently, myself breaking her gaze to stare into my glass of bourbon. “After five consecutive hours of chaos and non-stop action, I parked an airplane in a hangar. No one was around, I was by myself. I turned off the tug, and just… stopped.” Luna didn’t ask me what half of those words meant, which I was grateful. I didn’t feel like trying to explain all this stuff in the current mood I was in. “Chest pains, arm pains, headache. I was weak, exhausted, barely able to breath. I just sat on the tug, drained of whatever life I’d call this to be.” I let out a chuckle. “Two years ago, if you’d told me that I’d suffer these kinds of things, I would have laughed.” “Why?” Luna asked. “Because I always believed it was just a mental game, and you just had to outwit yourself. My father would always berate people like that, who said that they just needed to pull up their pants and push through it. And for the most part, I did for a long time. Then… the last year, it’s been…” “You’ve been struggling to get past your feelings. Between caring for what you do, the people you are around, and making sure the job is done, you’re just getting burned out.” I nodded my head at Luna’s words. “Especially when I’m by myself. I used to handle it and shrug it off, but now…” I went quiet, taking a bigger sip of my bourbon than before. “It is rare for a… person to care about what they do, to the extent that they themselves fall victim to it. We must push onwards, and know when we just have to let go.” Fuck, I just remembered that one episode, with the Tantibus… which was Luna’s creation, because she felt… God damned Princess of Friendship, bull shitting, fucking- I sighed. “Yeah, my father says I care too much.” “So you bottle all the issues you have with work, with possibly co-workers and your employer, so that they don’t bother you in current times.” I scratched my forehead with my free hand. This kind of thinking was starting to hurt. “Okay, I get where you are going with this. So what, I just tell my boss that I feel, what? Mistreated? Abused? Uncared for?” “Do you feel those things?” “Most of the time, no! Just when-” “When things aren’t going good.” I looked to Luna, her glass of bourbon was long gone. The record player was silent. I stood up, starting the turntable again and finding the perfect song. “So how often are things not going good? When they’re not going the way you want?” “When I feel like I’m being abandoned!” I sat down with some force, my couch clearly giving less fucks than I typically did considering Luna barely moved. “We think you need to just sit down with whom you need to, and discuss your discrepancies with them, get it out in the air, and try to fix things, before they eat you.” “Was that the royal We, or we as in you and Twilight?” Luna smiled at that. “You pick up fast.” I shook my head. “If I picked it up fast, you wouldn’t have had to come here.” “Maybe I wanted to.” I looked around at my surroundings. Empty beer and liquor bottles littered my floor, along with empty record cases around where I sat. Piles of papers and mail strewn around. The box to the record player I’d gotten as a gift was still in that chair, opened, waiting.... “I don’t see what you, or Hell, Twilight, see in this place.” “You have a vast collection of music. Maybe that is what drives us towards you.” “You could just go onto the internet, it’s all there… mostly.” Luna shook her head. “We are both like minded people. It isn’t about the music itself, but how and where it is played. You cannot replicate this feeling in any other way than in person.” Yeah, okay, that was my motto for a long time, so I got that, and yet… “So, now that we’ve discussed my exhausting day, what about you?” “What about Us?” Back to that fancy talk… “Well, you seem tired. I know you’re the Princess of the Night, but you seem to be… I dunno, exhausted? Like how I feel.” Luna was silent, looking at the quiet record player. I stood and started the song again. “It’s like me, with my work. Some days are normal and okay, then I get days like this was and I’m dead down to my bones. So tell me, what brought you here tonight?” At Luna’s expression, she stared only at the record player. I couldn’t deny, I was a sucker for the brass section of the big band music, and Glenn Miller knew how to flaunt it. “Mine sister thought it wise to shift some of her regular duties onto… me. Ones she felt would help me feel more useful, I suspect. Instead, it has left me-” “Over burdened and mentally strained than had you just been left with your regular duties,” I cut in. Luna nodded her head. “Well, welcome to the club.” I raised my half full glass of bourbon towards Luna. She raised her empty one towards mine, but before they could clink, I grabbed hers, poured half of mine into it, and gave it back. Brow raised at my antics, I held my glass up high, smiling. With a shake of her head, and a faint smile, she took her now partially filled glass and clinked it with mine, and we both took a sip, the song coming to its conclusion, and before it could go to the next, I stood and switched off the player. Sometimes, it was just nice to be able to share your troubles with someone, and know that you’re not the only one going through the problems of life. Be it a princess or drunkard.