An hour later, the party was finally winding down. Changelings were stumbling around, either still attempting to party or having given up any pretense of doing so and instead sleeping, their bellies round and smiles on their faces.
Celestia trotted up to Jeremy, cake frosting and crumbs still smeared around her lips and face.
“Girl, you still haven’t cleaned yourself off yet? The nobles are going to flip their lids,” Jeremy teased her.
“In fairness, cleaning an entire slice of cake off of one’s face is rather difficult,” Celestia retorted.
“Maybe you should return the favor? I’m pretty sure there’s a slice of uneaten cake somewhere, and Rainbow’s face is suspiciously clean,” Jeremy noted, glancing at the cyan pegasus in question, who was snoozing atop a pile of changelings.
“Maybe later, when she’s awake. I actually wanted to talk to you for a bit,” Celestia began.
“Yeah? Go ahead,” Jeremy allowed, taking a seat on the cavern floor as she carefully did the same, licking some of the frosting off of her face.
“It’s just… don’t take this the wrong way, but are you sure you’ve thought out your engagement? Most ponies don’t get engaged so early into a relationship,” Celestia reminded him.
Jeremy shrugged. “That’s because most ponies and humans aren’t as close as we are already. We’ve already lived together, slept together, ate together, raised kids together, escaped Tartarus together… I can’t really think of anything that would drive us apart, at this point. Somebody once put it best when they told me that I haven’t found ‘the one’ until I’ve seen them at their worst and love them anyway, and, well… we’ve all seen Chrysalis at her worst.”
Celestia nodded. “A fair point... just remember – communication is the key to a healthy relationship,” she remarked, with a slight glance at Twilight.
Jeremy, catching this, looked at her sympathetically. “How are you two getting along?” he asked pointedly, and Celestia sighed.
“Well… we talked about some things a few minutes ago. Nothing terribly important, but at least she and I are on speaking terms again…”
Jeremy smiled, patting her on the withers. “Glad to hear it... Hey, that reminds me. How’s Tartarus doing, anyway? Wouldn’t want another pony or human falling into it, after all…”
Celestia stiffened. “Well, it’s… closed. I sealed it off again, this time just with some molten rock over the entrance. Hopefully the residual anti-trespassing spells will discourage anypony from sticking around long enough to discover a new entrance.”
Jeremy hummed in thought. “There was a separate entrance I encountered and apparently fell into, but I’m not quite sure where in Equestria it is. Wherever Cerberus hangs out, it’s very close to that. Still, if Tartarus is empty, they shouldn’t be in any severe danger so long as they manage to make their way to the Secret Elevator…” Jeremy mused.
“I have many spells in place to tell me who is in there at any given time, so I do not think we have to worry about some poor pony getting lost in the ruins… but I shall begin searching for this other entrance,” Celestia acquiesced.
“So it’s closed for good, then? Did you at least retrieve the computers? Those could be useful," Jeremy noted.
Celestia shrugged. “To be honest, I don’t miss them. I first saw computers a very long time ago, and for the life of me I just can’t seem to replicate them. The Harmony Labs versions were the best we could do, and even then, they were…” she trailed off.
“Bad?” Jeremy supplied with a knowing smile, and Celestia snorted with amusement.
“Yes, they were,” she agreed.
“Maybe I’ll teach you how to build a real computer some time. The logic is complicated, and the manufacturing's a pain, but you’ll get the hang of it,” Jeremy offered.
“I would like that,” Celestia answered, smiling at him.
A half hour later, as Jeremy and Chrysalis made to wrap things up and leave, the assorted humans and ponies in tow, they were suddenly hoisted into the air by a group of changelings.
“Whoa!” Jeremy called out as he found himself atop three or four, who were supporting his weight with seemingly little difficulty as they bore him forward to the exit.
“What is the meaning of this?” Chrysalis demanded, seemingly frightened.
“Long live the King! Long live the Queen! Long live us!” the changelings below them cheered happily, and Chrysalis stared at them in surprise as they carried her and Jeremy to the cave exit.
“I think they’re honoring our engagement,” Jeremy called over, grinning.
“O-oh!” Chrysalis replied, jostled slightly as the changelings beneath her adjusted position.
“I told them to do it,” Avery called up to them.
“Wait a minute… that was a line from your book!” Jeremy accused, laughing.
Avery laughed with him. “I regret nothing!” he retorted.
“Oh… I thought…” Chrysalis trailed off.
Thought what? Jeremy asked her.
I thought they were going to toss me off the mountain for being 'weak,' Chrysalis admitted glumly.
The changelings carrying her immediately gave her sympathetic glances, their positions shifting to a sort of mobile five-changeling hug as they reassured her via their shared hive mind. After a moment of deliberation, Chrysalis smiled back, relaxing slightly.
They set the pair of them down just outside the cave, where Jeremy and Chrysalis looked up at the starry night sky. “Wow. We were in there a while, huh?” Jeremy noted. “Chrysalis?” he asked, looking over.
To his surprise, Chrysalis was hugging the changelings who had been carrying her, who were evidently also shocked by her demeanor. “Sorry, I just… had to,” she explained to him as she finally let go.
“What happened to being the villainous, cunning changeling queen?” Rainbow teased.
Chrysalis chuckled. “She’s gone… good riddance. Being nice feels so much better.”
Fluttershy giggled quietly. “Doesn’t it?” she agreed.
They returned to the Secret Hallway, where Jeremy was surprised to find Nightmare Moon and Sombra still absent. “Are they alright?” he worried, looking around for them.
“They’re fine, sweetie. Still planning out that ‘surprise,’” Chrysalis hinted.
“…Oh,” Jeremy answered, ceasing his search as he remembered this. “Right. Um… Well, in that case… snuggles?” he asked, opening his door to invite her in.
“Snuggles,” Chrysalis agreed, laughing and brushing his legs with her tail as she walked by him.
Jeremy brushed his teeth, and they cuddled up in bed together, smiling and giggling as they drifted off to sleep again, both wondering what the morning would bring.
Once again, he awoke in the field of flowers. The green flower was in front of him, petals already as open as they could get, and he obediently started rubbing it again, relaxing as the familiar, comforting sensation passed over him. Ordinarily, he’d be suspicious of this turn of events, but it was just a dream, right? Nothing could hurt him here.
As he was rubbing the flower, passing his thumb and index finger along individual petals to feel their texture, he noticed something that hadn’t been there last time. A flower had been placed just below the larger green flower, looking as though it had been carefully uprooted and replanted here. This flower was much smaller than the rest, but its petals and seed area were massive compared to the stem and length, far larger than what Jeremy thought the stem would be able to support. The petals themselves were a brilliant pink hue, shifting to a crimson-red near the tips. It looked... intense. Not angry, not happy, but just... really vibrant and alive. Curious, Jeremy used his other hand to reach out and touch this flower, wondering how it would respond.
Instantly, he was somewhere else – amidst his fight with Tirek, on a disc of enchanted stone surrounded by lava back in Tartarus. The other him dodged and weaved, ducking and rolling even as he kept up the dance. A memory, maybe? But then how was he watching from a third-person view? Strange. He wasn't hot, either - this part of Tartarus, being just above a lake of lava, was boiling normally. He watched himself get more and more tired, panting with exhaustion as he fought to keep up with Tirek’s blasts of energy. Eventually, however, he would fail, Jeremy remembered that much - this wasn't matching up with his memories of the 'successful' attempt. A stray blast clipped the other him on the shoulder, spinning him around even as another blast punched him in the back. The other him fell to the floor, slumping over and ceasing all movement as Tirek laughed in triumph. Jeremy watched, heart in his throat. Would things go on? Had an alternate timeline just been birthed?
But to his surprise, everything had stopped, not just his fallen body. Time itself had slowed to a halt, drips of lava spilling off the disc frozen in place. Glancing over at his own dead body again, Jeremy was surprised to see a white light emitting from his newly exposed and severely burnt torso. Curious, he ‘walked’ over to look at it, the platform below him feeling distinctly unlike stone and more like... nothing. The light was emitting from where his heart was, and was getting brighter. The light grew and grew, enveloping his body and all that surrounded it…
Jeremy woke up with a gasp, drenched in cold sweat. He looked around wildly, half expecting Tirek to be there for some reason. It was still the dead of night, and Chrysalis was fast asleep beside him, frowning slightly. He gasped and breathed heavily, trying to calm himself from the nightmare and wondering why it had occurred. He hadn’t had a nightmare for several years now, and he almost never had one as serious as that. Why, then, had he suddenly had one about that specific fight? It hadn’t even been the scariest one, not by a long shot.
He looked over at Chrysalis, the sight of her asleep managing to calm him somewhat. The nightmare didn’t really matter, now that he was awake. He was out of Tartarus, and nobody wanted to attack his friends or him – what was the point in worrying, then? Reluctantly, he fell back to the bed, leaning an arm around Chrysalis as he drifted off again.
But this time, he didn’t dream. It was as if he had closed his eyes one moment, and opened them again the next, and suddenly hours had passed. To his shock, Nightmare Moon, Chrysalis and Sombra were looking down at him, matching grins on their faces as they waited for him to wake up.
“Thou always wert adorable when asleep,” Nightmare Moon teased.
“What am I, your foal?” Jeremy retorted, echoing something Sombra had said while the four of them had been escaping Tartarus.
Nightmare Moon laughed appreciatively. “Thou art certainly young enough, compared to us. But enough banter! Dost thee know what this day is?" she asked expectantly.
"Uh... Saturday?" Jeremy guessed. Sombra chuckled, slapping a hoof to his forehead.
"No, idiot. What day it is," he stressed.
"Uhhh...." Jeremy trailed off, eyes roaming the wall for a calendar he knew wasn't there.
Chrysalis sighed, rolling her eyes even as she grinned. "It's your birthday, dear. Happy birthday!" she revealed, hugging him and planting a kiss on his cheek.
"Oh... really? Huh. That came quick," Jeremy noted, nuzzling her back.
"T'would seem that time passeth more quickly when thou art enjoying thyself, no? But anon, we hath a surprise for thee!” Nightmare Moon announced, practically hopping in place with glee.
“Oh? A surprise? I’d better get up, then,” Jeremy replied amicably, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed and standing up eagerly. “Do I have to get dressed for this?” he asked.
“No, not really,” Chrysalis answered, smiling at him as she hopped down from the bedspread.
“Close your eyes,” Sombra instructed, grinning deviously.
Jeremy obediently closed them, trying not to laugh as he wondered what his surprise would be. He felt Chrysalis’ magic looping something around his neck – his Elemental necklace, he realized. Why did he need that? Suddenly, he felt the gentle tug of Nightmare Moon’s wing wrapping around his arm, pulling him forward. Squeezing his eyes shut, he walked onward, trusting them to not let him fall as they walked him to wherever they were going.
They walked for what seemed like quite a while, and Jeremy was fairly certain they were outside at a few points. Finally, they stopped.
“We weren’t sure what to get you, so we asked some of your friends,” Sombra began. “This is what they recommended. Go on, open your eyes!” Jeremy did so, and got his first look at his surprise.
It was a suit of armor, a mashup between a gallant knight’s armor from ages past and a more futuristic version from modern times. The thing it most reminded Jeremy of was one of the suits from Half-Life, or perhaps Iron Man’s suit. The whole thing was ebony black, with dark purple trim around the edges, and purple light glowed from beneath the armor plating. The torso itself was a heart-shaped plate, which extended downward to the waist. Jeremy noticed that the same three strips that lined Chrysalis’ belly encircled the suit’s belly as well, though these were purple to fit with the rest of the color scheme. The arms had large pauldrons on the shoulders, and little half-heart indents cut out of the forearm pieces, exposing the ribbed, dark purple armor underneath. One of the arms appeared to have a flashlight attached to it, jutting out from the wrist. The legs were thickly plated but flexible, with additional holes cut into the surface armor to imitate the holes in Chrysalis’ legs. Jeremy stepped forward to examine it, speechless, and noticed a heart-shaped indent in the center of the torso, clearly meant to house his Element of Love. Lines curved away from the indent, mimicking the lines on his magical shield perfectly. He took his Element necklace off, gently pressing it into the section, and it sank into the torso, a transparent window sliding down over it as the torso section popped open with a thunk, the front rising upward to allow him to put it on.
“This is… this is amazing… Sam told you to build all this?” Jeremy questioned breathlessly.
Nightmare Moon blushed. “Verily, he didst. We took the ideas from his dreams, with his permission, and Sombra replicated the parts. Chrysalis assisted with the look of the overall design – dost thou like it?” she asked.
Jeremy turned around and pulled the three of them into a bear hug, grinning like a lunatic. “This is the greatest gift I have ever received!” he praised.
“You haven’t seen the half of it yet,” Sombra teased.
“Put it on!” Chrysalis encouraged.
Jeremy hugged them for a moment longer, then returned his attention to the suit. Because the torso was open, he was able to simply step into it, his pajamas fitting neatly into the legs. As he pushed his arms through the suit’s arms, the torso lowered once more, clicking back into place and completing the look. Jeremy examined the gloves of the suit, noting that the thing felt extremely light despite apparently being made of metal.
“This is. So. Cool,” he gushed.
“So cool you could just fly, am I right?” Sombra snarked.
Jeremy laughed agreeably. “Hah, yeah, why not!” To his shock, he immediately began to lift off of the ground, his boots emitting some form of thrust. “Whoa!” he called out, adrenaline shooting through him as he realized he was airborne. “This – this thing flies!?” he exclaimed incredulously.
“You said you wanted to fly, back when we were at the Hive. So… now you can!” Chrysalis answered, watching his childish enthusiasm with a smile on her face.
“How do I work this thing?” Jeremy asked, trying to move around in the air and only succeeding in windmilling his legs. “It's a flight spell, it works based on your thoughts,” Sombra instructed. “Think of moving up.”
Jeremy obeyed, and immediately he rose higher into the air, the suit lifting him as easily as he would lift a feather. “W-whoa!” he exclaimed, fighting to keep himself from flipping over.
“Do not fight it!” Nightmare Moon called up to him. “Move with it!”
Jeremy concentrated, trying to follow her advice, but only succeeded in flipping over and crashing to the ground, sitting up dazedly as Sombra tried very hard to contain his laughter.
Nightmare Moon sighed. “Thou shalt master it eventually. Still, we hath presented thee a good gift, yes?”
Jeremy beamed and nodded. “The best gift. Really, what made you go to all this trouble? This suit has so much thought and effort put into it!”
Sombra laughed, and Jeremy recalled that this was possibly the first time he’d ever heard Sombra laugh so happily. “Because you freed us! You got us out of Tartarus, and everyone to like us! We owe everything to you!”
Nightmare Moon nodded in agreement. “Were we to spend the rest of our lives honoring thee, twould’ still not be enough to express our gratitude.”
Jeremy wiped a tear away from his watering eyes. “Aw, girls,” he answered, deeply touched.
“And guy!” Sombra chimed in indignantly, and Jeremy laughed and gently punched him on the withers.
“And guy,” he agreed, standing up and stretching. The suit felt less like a bulky, clunky set of armor and more like an extension of his own skin, flexing in all the right parts and remaining rigid in all the others.
They returned to the throne room, where Celestia did a double-take at Jeremy’s new armor. “That… what is that?” she asked curiously.
“My friends made me a suit of armor as a birthday gift. As you can see, it is, in fact, the best suit of armor,” Jeremy explained, he and his friends exchanging knowing grins.
Celestia smiled. “Happy birthday! It certainly suits you very well, at any rate. You should show Luna, she’s quite the armor enthusiast,” the solar alicorn remarked.
Jeremy raised an eyebrow at Nightmare Moon, who blushed and looked away. “Quite the armor enthusiast, huh?” Jeremy echoed teasingly, glancing at her.
“We… collected suits of armor back before… well, before the split,” Nightmare Moon explained uncomfortably.
“Oh,” Jeremy answered, his teasing mood vanishing.
“Tis’ alright. Anon, we must away to the next part to thy celebrations!” Nightmare Moon enthused.
As Jeremy obediently allowed himself to be led away, Celestia stopped him. “Talk with me later?” she whispered.
“Oh… sure,” Jeremy agreed, confused and slightly worried. What did she wish to talk about?
He found that they had arrived in what appeared to be a dining hall, where a familiar pink pony was setting up streamers. “Happy two-week escaping-Tartarus Anniversary and also HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” she shouted as soon as she caught sight of him.
Jeremy laughed appreciatively. “You just threw a party for me yesterday. Aren’t you worried about exhausting your party supplies?”
Pinkie leveled her gaze at him, unusually serious. “Me? Running out of party supplies? Good luck, pal.” She laughed, instantly returning to her usual bouncy demeanor as she pronked her way over to a nearby table to adjust the positions of the plates and napkins.
“So, a party, too?” Jeremy asked, looking over at the other three as he sauntered over to pick up a cupcake.
“Aye! Tis’ no better form of celebration, no?” Nightmare Moon replied, smiling at him.
“Besides, it’s just us four today. You mentioned wanting to spend more time with us, so… wish granted!” Sombra added.
Jeremy smiled. “Now that we’re in Canterlot, it’ll be a lot less boring board games, too. Is there anything you three would like to do?” To his surprise, the three of them sternly shook their heads.
“Today is about you,” Chrysalis flatly denied.
“We are here to do what you would like to do, and nothing else,” Sombra agreed.
Jeremy, taken aback, took a moment to think. “Oh. Well… uh… hmm. All the things I like doing are back on Earth…” he muttered, lost in thought.
“...They have 'water-slides' here, too,” Chrysalis mentioned, picking up on his thoughts.
“They do?” Jeremy asked, instantly brightening.
Chrysalis laughed. “Of course! We’re sitting on a mountain. There’s one that goes all the way down!”
Jeremy’s expression spoke of at least twelve Christmases. “Chrysalis. I have a mighty need,” he began, and Sombra burst out laughing, quickly followed by the other two.
“What is a ‘water-slide’?” Nightmare Moon asked curiously, and Sombra nodded.
“You’re going to love it,” Jeremy gushed. “It’s literally a slide made with running water… Oh, it’d be better just to show you! Where is the slide?” he asked, getting up.
“Edge of the mountain, dear. If you’re eager to go now…” Chrysalis began, looking uncertainly at his mostly uneaten pastries.
“Oh… I’d better stay a bit longer. Wouldn’t want Pinkie to think she set this all up for nothing, after all,” Jeremy laughed, sitting back down.
Nightmare Moon and Sombra grabbed some food as well, while Chrysalis took one look and abstained. “I had too much ‘sugar’ last night… my teeth still tingle,” she complained, opting for a glass of water instead.
Jeremy chuckled agreeably. “Probably best to ease you into eating physical food, yeah,” he agreed.
They enjoyed their food in silence for a moment. “I wish Tirek was here,” Jeremy sighed after a moment.
“Verily, it doth feel lacking without him,” Nightmare Moon somberly agreed.
“I keep turning around and expecting his huge, bulky body to be there, blocking the door. You know?” Sombra quipped, and Jeremy snorted.
“I wonder how he’s doing…” he trailed off.
“He’ll be fine, honey,” Chrysalis insisted. “You can’t protect us at all times.”
Jeremy sighed again, sipping a glass of milk and grabbing yet another frosted cookie. “You’re right…” he agreed after a moment.
Jeremy rushed up to his room in the Secret Hallway to grab his bathing suit from his suitcase, disrobing from his suit of armor in the process. A moment later, the four of them were heading out into the Canterlot morning, ponies giving them strange looks but ultimately ignoring them as Jeremy eagerly followed Chrysalis, carrying a backpack that had also been included in his suitcase and filled with his change of clothing.
“Verily, I hath never seen thee so enthused,” Nightmare Moon commented.
“Agreed… I’ve actually never seen you being excited before. I must say, it’s funny to watch,” Chrysalis pondered.
“They were my favorite thing, back on Earth. Every time I so much as saw a good waterslide, I begged and pleaded my family to let me go there. They always did, and it was always worth it,” Jeremy reminisced.
“Sounds like the perfect thing for today, then,” Chrysalis agreed, smiling at him.
Jeremy chuckled slightly. “Yeah… you guys didn’t have to do this for me, you know. I’d be fine either way,” he tried.
“Nonsense!” Nightmare Moon denied.
“We’re treating you. Accept it,” Sombra growled, though his grin gave him away.
“You’re our best friend, how could we not do this for you?” Chrysalis laughed.
Music began playing out of nowhere, and Jeremy looked around in consternation as Nightmare Moon began singing.
Our brightest star,
Our shining light,
You came to us that fateful night
You spared us all
Made us friends
Even though we tried to fight you
Now that you’ve brought us here,
And helped us start anew
We will never give up again
And maybe someday
We could learn to love like you?
Chrysalis took over, a spotlight appearing from precisely nowhere as she gazed at him lovingly.
You taught us all to be kind
To every living thing
To cherish all that we have
We know you’ll save everything!
Even a monster like me,
Through all my hate and despair,
A broken shell of a Queen,
You still taught me how to care!
The spotlight shifted over to Sombra, whose surprisingly smooth voice took over.
I spent my whole life
Consumed by my hate
Now that I have seen light
I cannot turn away
Even when we were bad
You never grudged anything
You have taught me
What it means to be King!
The spotlight moved over to Jeremy, and before he knew it, he was singing too, the words and tones flowing as effortlessly as if he'd spent days memorizing them.
If I must lead
And protect my friends
Then I shall stay
Until the very end
Seeing you in need
I could not turn back
I wished to be freed
But I refused to attack
My desire to ensure I survived
Was eclipsed
By your plea for life!
And now that we are free
I hope our friendship will eternal be
The three of them encircled him, singing in chorus as thematically colored spotlights shone down on them from an unseen source.
Come, our friend,
Stay a while,
We’ll cherish your company
And make you smile!
Even if you haven’t been here long,
We know with us is where you belong!
And in our embrace you shall be
Safe with your new family!
The music trailed off and the background brightened to normal daytime again as they enveloped him in a hug, the four of them laughing and beaming as ponies around them grinned at the spectacle.
“So… that just… happened. Where’d that spotlight come from, anyway?” Jeremy asked Chrysalis.
She shrugged. “That just happens sometimes. I have no idea what it’s called, but if ponies start singing, it happens.”
Nightmare Moon cleared her throat. “Tis’ called Heartsong, and it can only be used when the singer truly means what they say – when they ‘sing from the heart,’ so to speak,” she explained.
“So… we can start spontaneous musical numbers,” Jeremy clarified.
Sombra snorted. “Is this new to you? Like magic was? Your world sounds boring,” Sombra scoffed.
“It really is,” Jeremy agreed, looking down in dismay.
Sombra looked guilty. “I… sorry. Er… maybe you can make your world less boring now?” he tried.
Jeremy gave him a small smile. “Worth a shot. It’d be worth it to see our world leaders breaking out into harmony,” he joked.
A moment later, they arrived at the entrance to the theme park. To his surprise, Jeremy found that he was not in fact facing a waterslide, but was instead facing the entrance to a dimly lit cave. Disregarding this for the moment, he bounded forward, only to fall back as he spotted ponies in front of them paying for their entrance.
“Did we remember to bring the money?” he asked Chrysalis.
She smirked, and lit her horn. The bag of money he had been given by a changeling some time ago popped into existence in front of him. “Of course we did, honey,” Chrysalis finished, and Jeremy laughed appreciatively.
He approached the ticket counter apprehensively. “Four all-day passes?” he asked as soon as he moved to the front of the line.
“That’ll be four hundred and twenty… bits…” the ticket counter pony trailed off, taking in the sight of Sombra, Chrysalis, and Nightmare Moon behind him.
Jeremy smirked, and raised an eyebrow at him. “H-here you go!” the stallion nervously stammered, hoofing out four tickets quickly and giving him an anxious smile. Jeremy passed the tickets back to his friends, and they sauntered through the gate, looking around curiously at the theme park entrance.
To their surprise, the waterslide was not the first thing they encountered. Instead, they were led down a tunnel into the mountain with a group of others by a mare dressed in a form-fitting wetsuit.
“These caves were largely unoccupied until the first changeling invasion,” the tour guide explained as she led them into the depths, apparently not even noticing the four of them. “It was discovered that an ancient mining operation had been conducted here, the tracks and cart still magically preserved against the wear of time. During Princess Twilight’s escape from Queen Chrysalis’ invasion, she and the true Princess Cadance used this rail system to escape the caves, emerging on the side of Canterlot’s mountain before returning to the throne room to confront Queen Chrysalis. So, to add to your adventure today, we’re going to recreate the experience!”
Jeremy was already trying very hard to keep from laughing as he beheld a series of minecarts and a track in front of them, looking just as they had in the show.
You’ve got to be joking, Chrysalis grumbled. Jeremy was too busy uproariously laughing in his head to answer.
“No more than four ponies to a cart!” the mare called out as the attendees began to climb into the minecarts. Chrysalis sighed, and flew into a minecart with a buzz of her wings, causing the tour guide to finally notice her.
“Oh,” was all she said, and Jeremy couldn’t hold it in any longer, bursting into laughter as he hopped over the side of the cart.
“Nice to meet you too,” he replied, and the tour guide hastily smiled.
Nightmare Moon touched down inside the cart with a dainty flap of her wings, scoffing as she beheld the wooden contraption. “Tis’ of shoddy make. We doubt it shall last the ride,” she declared haughtily, drawing her wings and hooves around Jeremy’s backpack to give them some more space.
Sombra had turned into his smoky form rather than attempting to climb, reforming inside the cart as he sat across from Jeremy. “Not going to lie… Nightmare Moon has a point,” he grumbled, poking at some of the rivets on the floor.
“Ready? Here we go!” the tour guide announced, causing all of them to look up as the minecart began to move of its own accord.
It was slow at first, but the cart rapidly picked up speed, moving around and down the mineshaft. Jeremy watched in fascination as stalactites sped by them, resisting the centrifugal force from the spiraling track as they descended further.
“Okay, this is pretty cool,” he admitted.
“Did they really have to turn this into an amusement ride?” Chrysalis complained.
Jeremy snorted with amusement at her unamused expression. “It doesn’t seem to be going nearly as fast as the one in the show did, so it’s probably a safer version of that particular journey. Even so, it does seem kind of cheap,” he agreed.
“Wait, what art thee talking about?” Nightmare Moon asked, and Jeremy quickly explained.
Nightmare Moon shrugged. “If we art being honest, we art not terribly surprised. Tales of valor and heroism have long been watered down into foals’ stories and books, and this doth seem to be a naturale extension of that principle.” Jeremy considered this thoughtfully.
“Besides, you already had your entire story dumbed down for the masses, Jeremy told us that,” Sombra added to Chrysalis.
“True,” Chrysalis muttered. “But hearing about it and experiencing it are… quite different.”
Jeremy chuckled. “Imagine how I feel, experiencing stuff like this. It's like I'm in a story... inside another story,” he joked, and the four of them chuckled.
As they sped along, it occurred to Jeremy that there had been a point in this particular part of the show where the minecart’s track had led off a cliff into a deeper mineshaft, forcing Twilight and Cadance to jump off and fly to the other side. He poked his head out of the minecart, and true enough, the cart was heading straight for an open pit.
“So, um… I don’t mean to alarm everyone, but…” Jeremy began.
“What?” Chrysalis asked, popping up beside him.
“That,” Jeremy pointed out.
“Oh, that’s fine. See? The other ponies are being levitated out of their carts across it,” Chrysalis noticed.
Jeremy looked over, and he could indeed see a line of ponies being lifted across the gap by a tired-looking unicorn. “Oh, okay,” Jeremy accepted, sitting back down nervously as the pit loomed closer and closer. They shot over the edge, and weightlessness took over as Jeremy let go of the cart so he could be better lifted.
It was at this point that he recalled that he was, in fact, immune to magic.
The cart dropped like a stone, Jeremy carried along with it as Nightmare Moon, Chrysalis, and Sombra disappeared into the distance, held in the secure grip of magic even as they struggled. Jeremy screamed as he fell, grabbing back onto the minecart as he caught up to it and climbing inside for some protection from the fall. Below him, he could see the place where the minecarts were supposed to land, only to find that they were winking out of existence just before they hit the ground, presumably teleported out of the way of certain destruction. Jeremy closed his eyes, wondering briefly when the last time he SAVED was.
There was a great, echoing CRASH, and all was silent.
He awoke, what seemed like hours later, to find himself in complete and utter blackness. He was still in his bathing suit, feeling thoroughly filthy and covered in bits of broken rock and damp gravel. He looked around, groaning in pain. Below him was a thick mass of softly glowing, green, carpet-like substance – lichen. By some miracle, he’d managed to land on a soft bed of luminescent green lichen.
“Agh… shit…” he swore, wiping some blood away from his scratched-up torso. His crown was back in his room, but Chrysalis had said that he should still be able to talk to the hivemind without it. Chrysalis, I’m still here, he sent out.
...Nothing. It appeared either Chrysalis was asleep, an unlikely scenario, or that something was somehow blocking their telepathy, an even more unlikely scenario. Jeremy sighed, tiredly pulling out his menu and SAVING the game.
A plot device that prevents me from contacting help. Of course, he mentally complained, unsteadily rising to his feet. He ripped off a piece of the luminescent moss, wrapping it around his arm as a makeshift flashlight, and looked around. The cave appeared to go deeper from here, but he wasn’t sure if he really wanted to venture forth – he remembered all too well the last time he’d wandered into an unknown cave with no supplies and no way of calling for help.
He returned to the entrance hole above, looking up at the rest of the caves. They seemed so distant… there was no way he could climb that, even if he'd had decades of rock-climbing experience. Pity. He returned his attention to the forebodingly dark tunnel ahead – the only way forward. Jeremy sighed again, and began to walk. What the hell was he getting himself into this time?
The tunnel sloped every which way, narrowing at some parts and widening at others. Jeremy did his best to alternately crawl and walk through each part, shuddering each time a drop of water hit him or his foot touched anything other than cold, hard rock. On one such occasion, Jeremy stumbled back as his toe hit something with a resounding cling instead of the usual rocky thump. Curious, he aimed his lichen-wrapped arm at it.
It was a tarnished Royal Guard breastplate, of the Sun variety, half buried in the mud and gravel of the tunnel. Jeremy picked it up curiously, wiping some of the gravel and mud off of it curiously. What was it doing here? It was the same design the modern Guards used, so he didn’t think it had been placed here all that long ago. But what Guard would so callously throw away a piece of their most treasured armor? Stumped, Jeremy tossed it back onto the ground, where it bounced with a clang. “Weird…” he mumbled under his breath.
Looking around, he spotted more armor lying unused and unwanted about the tunnel. Now, he was more worried than curious. Someone had evidently disposed of their armor without letting anyone know of it – what if there was some kind of traitor in Celestia’s Guard? He'd better tell Celestia about this when he next saw her.
He could see light up ahead, and crawled faster now, arms scraping and elbows scuffing as he fought to return to civilization. To his surprise, he came out onto another ledge, viewing yet another seemingly bottomless pit.
“So… now what? Do we just wait for him?” Sombra asked, sounding nervous.
“T’would appear so,” Nightmare Moon agreed glumly, somewhere above and behind him. Jeremy twisted around, and in the split second before his view shifted from the tunnel he’d crawled through to the main cave where his friends were, he caught something bright white looking back at him. He had no time to think about it, however, because as soon as Chrysalis spotted him her expression lit up.
“There you are!” she cheered, buzzing over and lifting him onto the ledge overlooking the pit, where he promptly collapsed in exhaustion.
“Art thou alright? That must have been quite a fall,” Nightmare Moon worried.
“I’m fine,” Jeremy panted, only just realizing how tiring the trek had been given his current condition.
“What’s that around your arm?” Sombra asked, poking at it.
“Some kind of luminescent lichen,” Jeremy answered. “I landed on it, by some insane luck, and it made a useful light.” Sombra pulled him to his feet, where he beheld the tour guide, cringing and looking very sorry.
“We didn’t know you’re immune to magic… please don’t eat me,” she whimpered.
Jeremy raised his eyebrow, once again trying to contain his mirth. “Eat you? Don’t be ridiculous. There was no way you could have known, I’m not mad at you,” he soothed.
The tour guide relaxed slightly. “And you promise you won’t report this to my boss?” she pleaded.
“Wouldn’t dream of it. Not your fault the weird alien doesn't play by the rules,” Jeremy agreed. He paused, putting a hand to his scuffed chin in thought. “Though, I should probably warn the other humans. No sense repeating that, after all,” he added. Lichen or no, I’m not sure any other human could have pulled that one off. They’d probably die, and then… well, then I’d have a whole new mess on my hands, he mused.
Your voice is back! Chrysalis noticed, looking at him.
Yeah, it got blocked for some reason back there. Any idea why? Jeremy asked, as the four of them returned to the group at large, who were looking very impatient at the delay but softened their expressions upon seeing Jeremy’s damaged state.
No… nothing should be able to interrupt the connection like that. It falls off with distance, but… Chrysalis trailed off.
Right. How strange… Jeremy remarked. He also wanted to tell her about the armor he had found, but he decided to save that for later.
They beheld the entrance to the first waterslide, a massive, churning current of water that came from a single copper pipe to their left. The small river headed to their right, dropping sharply as soon as it exited the cave into the sunlight. Jeremy could see a slide constructed mainly of metal heading down the mountain, and those groups that had preceded them were just barely visible, sliding down to what appeared to be an incredibly large pool below. The group they had accompanied were already entering their tubes, apparently content to leave the four of them behind.
“So, ponies are carried by a quickly moving stream of water down a slide… hence, a ‘water-slide.’ I see,” Nightmare Moon noticed, watching the ponies who were already halfway down the mountain.
“Wow, this just goes on, and on... and on,” Jeremy remarked, watching with her. The sheer height of the slide was enough to give him vertigo, and he quickly returned his gaze to the closer ground of the slide park.
"Hey, before we go. I'd better heal you up. Of all the days this had to happen..." Chrysalis trailed off sadly.
"You sure? You mentioned that it took a lot out of you to produce that healing goop," Jeremy replied with a worried look.
Chrysalis rolled her eyes. "That was before I absorbed enough love from you to power Canterlot for a century. Don't worry about it, really. Now lay down," she instructed, and Jeremy obediently laid down.
Chrysalis licked his scraped forearms and torso, the green, viscous substance coating his skin immediately solidifying into a resin-like cast. Watching, Jeremy was once again reminded of the many times she'd had to do so down in Tartarus after he'd gotten injured. "How's that?" she asked, once she'd covered every area she could find.
"Much better," Jeremy sighed.
“Good! Now let’s go have some fun,” Chrysalis enthused.
“Don’t have to tell me twice,” Jeremy replied, grinning as he got up.
They eventually ended up choosing a four-pony tube for their first run, a massive circular thing where they strapped themselves into the sides instead of sitting on top.
“Keep your hooves, wings, magic, and… arms inside the tube at all times,” the instructor informed them, sounding as though he’d rehearsed the first part of that conversation a hundred times as he placed their belongings in the center of the tube.
Jeremy was giddy with anticipation as they were pushed closer and closer to the entrance, and the other three watched him with knowing smiles on their faces.
They finally tipped over the edge of the slide, and the instructor gave their tube one last, hard push before gravity took over. They hurtled downward, Jeremy whooping and Sombra screaming as their tube accelerated downwards seemingly faster than possible.
“Are you sure this is ‘fun’?!” Sombra shouted over the wind as he finally got ahold of himself.
“Yeah!” Jeremy shouted back, beaming. “Just enjoy the adrenaline rush!”
As they rushed onward and downward, the churning of water and whipping of the wind all around them, Jeremy noticed they were heading towards the end of the track, with nothing below to catch their fall. Water poured out from under it, spilling out into the open air and beyond his line of sight. This setup seems strangely familiar, he mused sarcastically.
“What is that?” he asked, pointing, and the other three looked.
“Hold on tight!” Chrysalis ordered, eyes now squeezed shut. Jeremy obeyed, gripping the rubber edge of the tube so tightly his knuckles turned white, and they sailed off into open air, a feeling of weightlessness overtaking him as he fought the urge to jump for the safety of the mountain. Sombra and Chrysalis were screaming now, almost inaudible over the wind as they sailed downward, falling towards what appeared to be a gigantic pit in the middle of a ledge on the mountain.
“We’re gonna diiieee!” Sombra howled as the pit swallowed them up, and everything went black.
Jeremy was still conscious, and still aware that they were hurtling downward through the blackness, the others having abruptly stopped screaming now that the wind was absent. As they fell downward, a familiar lichen on the cave walls began to illuminate their surroundings, glowing green and bright enough to hurt their eyes after the darkness above. The water from the slide they had fallen off of streamed down beside them, a literal waterfall that surged down its own pre-carved path and falling ever so slightly slower than they were, and Jeremy took a moment to wash off some of the more bloody parts of his bruised skin as they fell. As they fell through the strange, vertical cave, Jeremy reflected how he’d never enjoyed such extreme rollercoasters before. And yet, here he was, enjoying himself under conditions that no sane Safety Board back on Earth would ever agree to. How odd.
They fell for what seemed like hours, though it could have only been a few seconds. As the four of them fell past a ledge with a maintenance access door, a worker watching them with an unreadable expression on their pearlescent white face, Jeremy did a double take. He could have sworn… but that wasn’t possible. He had no time to think about it, however, as they exited out the bottom of the vertical cave, and quickly landed on a nearly vertically-sloped section of the slide, the water from earlier following them down and reconnecting with the slide almost perfectly. The thump from reconnecting with the slide took the wind right out of Jeremy’s lungs, and as the slope rapidly lessened to nearly horizontal, water spraying out to either side as their tube rapidly decelerated to a speed that could best be called ‘average’ by Rainbow Dash. Before they could comment that the ride seemed to be over, however, the slope picked up again, and Jeremy caught a glimpse of a long, spiraling path around the mountain ahead of them. He grinned in anticipation, even as the other three glanced at it fearfully. Since when had he been such an adrenaline junkie?
To his half-disappointment, the rest of the slide was fairly ‘normal’ by Earth standards – spirals, sudden drops, dark tunnels that had been carved through the mountain, et cetera. They reached the bottom with a gigantic splash, and surfaced to behold a pool about the size of a football stadium, with ponies laughing and playing in the pool even as others headed for what appeared to be a miniature train back to the top. To Jeremy’s surprise, there were food stands and other entertainment in the pool, ponies sitting on underwater stools as bartenders and chefs served them themed food and drink. They appeared to have landed in a roped-off section of the pool, a pile of tubes next to the edge indicating that they were to disembark here.
“That was. So. Cool!” Jeremy squealed as soon as they reached the pool’s edge, hopping off the tube and into the water, bits of debris and gravel that had been clinging to his skin sinking to the bottom.
“Never again,” Sombra shivered, his own terrified expression a stark contrast to Jeremy’s enthusiasm.
“Oh come on, it wasn’t that bad. Tough it out, soldier!” Chrysalis teased him, and Nightmare Moon smirked.
“That was… more entertainment than we thought possible from such a simple concept,” she remarked, seemingly unfazed by their recent journey.
Chrysalis pulled out their bag of bits and Jeremy’s backpack, which he noted with some dismay was now soaking wet. Good thing I forgot my phone and wallet, he thought. Why did they put our stuff on the tube with us, anyway?
Chrysalis shrugged. Transporting it down a mountain for you to pick it up was too hard? Who knows, she answered, and Jeremy mentally shrugged.
They found that the gargantuan pool had been divided into five sections, with the area behind them comprising the first. One, the central area, was reserved for food, drink, and other entertainment, the water depth lower than any other section to allow patrons to walk through the water if they so chose. Given that ponies’ legs were so much shorter than humans’, this meant that the central area was roughly the depth of a kiddie pool to Jeremy. On their right, a section was dedicated to a single, giant hot spring, older ponies relaxing in the steamy water as the younger ones enjoyed themselves elsewhere. On their left, there appeared to be a section for more rides, complete with a lazy river, whirlpool, and water-themed playground as well as at least twenty additional waterslides by Jeremy’s count. Finally, in the far back, just barely visible, a section appeared to be a makeshift beach, complete with sand and waves. In this section, ponies could be seen suntanning, though Jeremy wasn’t sure how they were supposed to ‘tan’ without any fur.
“This… this should exist on Earth, but it doesn’t,” Jeremy remarked aloud.
“Didst thee not come here for the similarity?” Nightmare Moon replied, confused.
Jeremy laughed. “We have waterslides and waterparks back home, but they’re so much smaller than this. Something like this would easily be the best theme park on the entire planet, especially with the slide to get here!”
Nightmare Moon smiled at his enthusiasm. “We art glad thou enjoyeth it! Though, prithee, doth not partaking in victuals leadeth to cramps of a moste terrible nature?” she wondered, pointing out the food stands.
“That’s actually a myth,” Jeremy explained. “People spread that around because they thought your stomach would take away oxygen from the rest of your body to process the food, thus causing you to drown, but it turns out your lungs already provide more than enough for both digesting food and swimming. The cramps actually happen because people swim improperly or try to stretch their muscles too far without warming up first.” Nightmare Moon nodded in vague interest.
They swam over to the very edge of the pool, the others laughing as Jeremy gamboled through the water, acting more like an otter than a human even as he kept his backpack firmly above water level.
“What? It’s nice,” he defended.
“We’ve never seen you swim before… you’re actually pretty good,” Chrysalis complimented, and Jeremy snorted.
“Slowest member of the swim team, right here,” he mock-introduced, a hand to his chest. He put his still-soaked backpack in a pile with other backpacks, noticing with some dismay that there were no lockers to store things in. “Aren’t they worried about theft here?” he wondered.
Sombra looked at him strangely. “Who would steal a rucksack?” he replied incredulously.
Jeremy shrugged. “Some humans will steal anything that isn’t nailed down. Backpacks, electronics, luggage, clothing…”
Chrysalis snorted. “You’d think they’d at least steal something worth stealing.”
“To them, that stuff is worth stealing. Not all thieves are bank robbers or international jewelry thieves, after all,” Jeremy retorted.
That done, they made their way over to the beach section, at Sombra’s insistence. “I just need somewhere to rest… my legs…” he got out, before collapsing on one of the conveniently provided suntanning chairs.
“Will he be alright?” Jeremy worried, taking a seat beside him.
“Probably getting over the adrenaline of that ride, still,” Chrysalis noted. “Why don’t we take a break with him?”
Shrugging, Jeremy chose a nearby, unoccupied chair and laid down on it… or, at least, he attempted to. He quickly realized that these chairs were pony-sized, and not human-sized. A soft thump beside him caused him to look over, and he found that Nightmare Moon had summoned three towels to lay on the sand.
“Mayhap this shalt suffice for we of the taller persuasion,” she jested.
Jeremy snorted in amusement, and laid down on the towel, staring up at the sun. As he did so, he noticed he could stare directly at the sun, without burning his retinas. How odd. He studied it carefully, wondering if he could see coronas or sunspots without any kind of protection in this odd world.
He drifted off, lulled to sleep by the warm sand and the whispering waves. His dreams about flowers and timelines did not come, however, even though he was expecting them to. Instead, he remained somewhat lucid, half-awake and aware of everything that was happening. He felt it when Chrysalis decided to cuddle up to him instead of using her own towel, though he wasn’t quite awake enough to cuddle her back. He heard Sombra wake up, looking at them in bemusement before sighing and going back to sleep. He felt Nightmare Moon pressing gently, telling him to wake up.
“…Huh…?” Jeremy asked, rubbing the tired out of his eyes as he sat up. Chrysalis, on top of him, was still asleep, and evidently dreaming about something pleasant.
“Thy stomach was growling even in thy slumber,” Nightmare Moon explained with a smile. “Dost thou wish to partaketh in the food over yonder?”
Jeremy nodded sleepily, noting now that he was awake that he was, in fact, hungry. “Yeah… I probably should...” he agreed, gently rolling Chrysalis onto the towel before getting up.
He waded back over to the place where his backpack was at, noting with some satisfaction that it had dried out in the time he was asleep, and took out his bag of bits. That done, he wandered back to the central food area, where he looked around. So many good-looking foods… how was he supposed to choose?
Jeremy returned later with a heaping pile of various tropical and beach-themed foods and drinks, and Nightmare Moon looked at him skeptically. “Thou art that ravenous?” she questioned.
Jeremy chuckled, laying the tray of food down on his towel. Chrysalis had woken up by now, and was looking at him questioningly, and Sombra was giving him a knowing smirk. “Everything looked so good, and I couldn’t choose, and then I remembered that I’m rich now or something. So, I bought everything I thought would be good,” Jeremy explained.
“Can we have some?” Sombra asked, and Nightmare Moon glared at him.
Jeremy, to her surprise, laughed and nodded. “I can't eat all this by myself! Go on, take what you want,” he encouraged.
Chrysalis sighed. “Even on a day that’s supposed to be entirely about you indulging yourself, you still manage to do kind things for us,” she teased.
“What can I say? Making others happy is what makes me happy,” Jeremy retorted. Sombra chuckled even as his mouth was stuffed full of cooked fish. “Say, you ponies eat fish?” Jeremy asked, noticing this.
Sombra shrugged. “Yeph?” came his muffled response, before he swallowed mightily.
“T’was introduced to our culture by griffons. Fish art not a popular food staple, but in such places as this, they art used,” Nightmare Moon explained.
“Oh. So fish is some kind of novelty food for you, then. Weird…” Jeremy trailed off.
“How much fish do you normally eat?” Chrysalis asked.
Jeremy snorted. “I lived in a port town called 'Seattle' growing up, so more than the rest of my country, but less than some other parts of the world. Personally, I find fish pretty bland unless it’s breaded or marinated,” he mused.
“This stuff’s breaded,” Sombra pointed out, forking a piece onto his plate.
Jeremy popped it into his mouth, smiling. “And thus, I find it delicious,” he completed, causing Sombra to snort with amusement.
“Can I try some?” Chrysalis asked curiously.
“Sure,” Sombra answered, forking another, smaller piece onto the plate nearest her.
Chrysalis, noticing this, frowned but said nothing. She took a gentle bite out of it, and nodded thoughtfully before eating the rest in a much larger bite. “Pretty good. The ‘meat’ part tastes exactly like apathy, but it’s balanced out by the ‘bread’ part?” she mused aloud.
“I’ve often wondered about how different emotions taste compared to different flavors,” Jeremy added.
“Perhaps a taste test is necessary,” Nightmare Moon suggested, and Jeremy brightened.
“You’re right! I’ll have to write down which ones we’ve discovered so far.”
Chrysalis smiled. “I’m just still confused as to why that first piece of meat I tried was so horrible,” she wondered.
Jeremy shrugged. “Hard to say, unless you want to try another piece of beef and see if it tastes equally as bad.”
Just then, Sombra got his attention. “Is that… is that an octopus?” Sombra asked, pointing at something that looked more like curly fries than any fish.
“Yeah, it is. It’s called ‘calamari,’ if I remember right. It’s pretty good, actually!” Jeremy encouraged.
“But… octopi have tentacles. With hooks on them,” Sombra pointed out.
“Those are dissolved off by the preparation method, I think. Don’t worry, it’s fine,” Jeremy dismissed, popping one in his mouth to demonstrate.
Sombra hesitantly took one, staring at it apprehensively.
“It’s just like all the other breaded fish, Sombra. Except a bit more rubbery,” Jeremy mused.
Reluctantly, Sombra tried one, gingerly placing it in his mouth. He chewed thoughtfully. “Hmm. Well, my mouth isn’t being torn apart, so I suppose it’s alright,” the shadow king declared, putting ten more pieces of calamari on his plate.
Jeremy chuckled. “Glad to hear it.”
By the time they had completely finished the food, it was late in the afternoon, and Jeremy had resorted to laying back and staring directly at the sun, Chrysalis having cuddled up to his chest.
“So, t’was an enjoyable experience, yes?” Nightmare Moon asked hopefully.
Jeremy softly laughed. “Yeah. This day has been great. No politics, no saving the world… just a perfectly ordinary day with three of my best friends.”
Sombra frowned slightly, saying nothing. “Something wrong, Sombra?” Jeremy asked, noticing this.
“It’s… nothing,” Sombra denied quietly. “I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself.”
This, more than anything, alarmed Jeremy: Sombra wasn’t even making his usual snarky quips. Jeremy pondered what to say for a moment, then reluctantly gave it up, unable to think of anything.
After a while, Jeremy felt rested enough to try another ride. He glanced down at himself to check his bruises, which were already turning a few interesting hues but otherwise seemed to be okay.
“Anyone else want to try some of the rides?” he asked, jerking a thumb at the waterslides at the other side of the pool.
“I’m fine,” Sombra denied.
“Perhaps in a moment,” Nightmare Moon agreed, glancing nervously up at the slide they had arrived upon.
“I’ll come with,” Chrysalis declared, bouncing up to join him.
The first ride they chose was something called ‘The Haze’. It was a closed-tube waterslide that, according to the sign, promised 'twists and turns you’ll never see coming!'
Chrysalis snorted. “Oh really? We’ll see about that, I have night vision.”
Jeremy chuckled. “Don’t ruin it for yourself, hun. Come on, let’s give it a try before the line gets longer!”
A few minutes later, they hopped into the two-pony tube, Jeremy just barely fitting his comparatively gargantuan frame into the tiny rubber donut. Chrysalis, too, was struggling to fit her long, slender limbs inside.
“Here, let me help,” the staffpony overseeing the ride offered.
A few painfully stretched limbs later, Chrysalis was effectively sitting in Jeremy’s lap, her hind legs hanging over the front of the tube.
“Ready?” the staffpony asked, and they both nodded. “Alright, here we go!” she cheered, pushing them forward into the darkness.
Because it was pitch black, Jeremy felt rather than saw the ride. They jerked to the left, the sudden change in direction causing him to gasp, and the floor practically dropped out from under them as they began a rapid, spiral descent.
“Wooo!” Chrysalis cheered as the g-force forced them to lean to their right.
Jeremy laughed happily as they exited the spiral, continuing forward for a mere second before suddenly ascending again. Jeremy noted with interest that despite their going up the slope, they weren’t slowing down – magic at work in the water, he supposed.
As the slope continued to increase, Jeremy noted with some alarm that they were approaching a vertical ascent, and wondered if he might fall off. He gripped the tube tightly, oddly held in place by Chrysalis sitting in his lap. They were now beginning to be upside down, the water impossibly rushing across the ceiling of the waterslide as they performed a loop-de-loop.
“This is so cool!” Jeremy exclaimed as they were upside-down.
Chrysalis laughed with him, evidently pleased by his demeanor even if he couldn’t see her expression in the pitch blackness.
They exited the loop-de-loop only to find that the tube below them had apparently now decided to vanish from existence entirely, the feeling of weightlessness overtaking them as they began to plummet.
“What is with these waterslide designers and waterfalls?” Jeremy mock-complained as they fell.
“I think it’s rather fun!” Chrysalis replied.
They landed with an oof, still not slowing down in the slightest, and a light became visible at the end of the tunnel.
They tumbled out of the slide, the tube flipping over and submerging them as they somersaulted through the water. Jeremy came up laughing, Chrysalis spluttering to the surface a moment later.
“You alright?” Jeremy asked, noticing her retching and gulping in oxygen.
“Swallowed some pool water,” Chrysalis hacked out, looking slightly greener than normal.
Jeremy firmly but gently thumped her on the back, and she immediately started breathing normally, turning to him with a grateful smile. “So, what’s next?” Jeremy wondered, looking around.
“How about ‘The Drain’?” Chrysalis suggested, pointing at a massive, cone-shaped ride that had plenty of ponies waiting in line for it.
“Sure, why not?” Jeremy agreed, already walking over eagerly.
“So… why’s it called ‘The Drain’, anyway?” Jeremy wondered aloud as they waited in line a moment later, soaked ponies chattering around them.
“If I had to guess, it has something to do with that,” Chrysalis answered, pointing at the massive cone-shaped section of the ride.
“Hrmm…” Jeremy replied thoughtfully, staring at it.
They once again struggled their way into a tube, and the instructor stallion at this particular ride gave them a look. “First time on the ride?” he asked.
Jeremy nodded uncertainly.
“Hold onto your dinners, then!” the instructor announced gleefully as he pushed them forward.
Jeremy and Chrysalis only had time to exchange a look of confusion and dismay before they were carried forth into The Drain.
The beginning part of the Drain was actually pretty uneventful, at least compared to what Jeremy was now expecting of these waterslides. Just a few twists and turns, the occasional jerk sideways, nothing special. The most he could say was that this portion of the ride was open-air, so instead of darkness he could see everything ahead of them, feeling the cool breeze on his bare torso as he and Chrysalis rode along.
“Well, this is pleasant,” Chrysalis noted.
“So when’s it get unpleasant?” Jeremy wondered impatiently, an expectant grin on his face.
His question was quickly answered as they approached the massive cone, a single tunnel ahead indicating its entrance. “Oh, there’s the unpleasant part,” Chrysalis snarked in confirmation, and Jeremy laughed.
To his surprise, the area inside the cone was not strictly a spiraling tunnel, as he had expected. Instead, the adjacent tunnels of the spiral had been cut in half, effectively allowing them to view the entire spiral instead of just a part of it. They rode around like a whirlpool… or like a drain, Jeremy realized. Other riders were also visible, having apparently taken different entrances and thus being out of sync with their orbit around the gushing center. Speaking of the center, it appeared to simply be a hole in the cone that riders fell through, and it took Jeremy a nervous moment to remember that the Drain had clearly had a tube leading out of the bottom when he had been viewing it outside.
As they approached the center, Jeremy noticed one foal high above them who appeared to be having a little too much fun. “Look a’ me, big sis!” they squealed out, balancing on just one leg on top of their tube.
“Hey!” their sister, a purple pony with pink hair, called out worriedly. “Get back in your seat, you’ll drown if you fall off!”
The foal scoffed at this, tossing her powder-blue mane. “You worry too much! I’m fine!” These words, however, quickly proved untrue. A particularly violent jerk in their section of the ride caught the tiny filly off balance, and she yelped as she fell off the tube and onto the next section of the ride, where she was quickly caught by the fast-moving waters. “SIS!” she screamed fearfully as she was swept away, and Jeremy stood up himself, actually managing to stop their tube with his weight.
“Be right back,” he muttered to Chrysalis, who watched in confusion as he hopped out of their tube and up to the next level.
Thankfully, the sections of the cone were shallow compared to Jeremy’s long legs, so he could easily hop back up the spiral, racing to catch up to the spluttering and choking filly. “HELP!” she screamed, and other riders watched in shock as Jeremy hopped in front of or even over their tubes to reach his target.
Finally, he closed in on her, only to find she’d just submerged, having finally run out of energy to fight the current.
“No you don’t,” Jeremy growled, and his arms snapped into a well-practiced streamline as he dove after her. He took advantage of his own momentum to catch up to her, riding the currents as though he were more fish than human. Once she was within arm’s reach, he snatched her out of the current as quickly as he could, holding her above the water as she retched. With his increased speed, they quickly made it back to the bottom and out the exit, Jeremy serving as the filly’s ride as he swam as fast as he could to add to the already rapid speed of the waterslide.
They burst out into the pool at the bottom of the slide, where Jeremy immediately slapped the filly down onto solid pavement. “Come on kid, wake up,” he muttered, only to find with rising panic that she wasn’t breathing.
“My child!” he heard a voice screaming behind him, but he barely paid attention, instead concentrating on the filly’s tiny chest and using his fingers to feel for any rise and fall of her lungs. Finding none, he immediately placed his combined fists just below her lowest rib and pushed hard.
“One,” he muttered, and pushed again. “Two. Three…” He sensed Chrysalis’ apprehension, as she was evidently still nearby.
“What is he doing to my child?!” the voice demanded again, but Jeremy ignored this.
“Six… seven… eight…” he growled, pumping the child’s lungs as hard as he dared. Finally, the filly drew in a great, rattling gasp of air, and immediately cried out in pain.
“Ow! My tummy! Stop it!” she squealed, and Jeremy drew back, startled.
His expression cleared once he saw that she was alive, if irate, and he gave a guilty smile. “Hey, kid, if I had to choose between a few cracked ribs and drowning, I’d definitely choose the first one. For what it’s worth, sorry about your tummy.”
The filly looked around, her expression changing to that of confusion as she realized her surroundings were completely different. “I… drowned?” she asked worriedly.
Jeremy nodded. “You fell off your tube and into the water, so I came over to get you out. Then you stopped breathing, so I had to get that going again. You’re lucky your heart didn’t stop – you’d be in a lot worse shape if it had.” The filly began to tear up, and Jeremy hastily made to reassure her. “Hey, don’t be sad! You’re okay now, you’re gonna be fine. Just take it easy for a while, okay? Maybe have your sis carry you back or something,” he advised.
“Sis? SIS!” the tiny filly realized, looking around frantically.
“Right here!” her sister called back, pushing through a small crowd and galloping up to the pair of them. “Is she alright?” the purple, slightly older filly asked worriedly.
Jeremy gave a ‘so-so’ motion with his hand. “Bruised, might have a cracked rib or two, but she’s alive and should recover fine. You should get her to the hospital pretty soon, just to make sure she's okay.” The big sister had drawn closer, hooves outstretched to hug her younger sibling, but quickly reconsidered upon Jeremy’s words.
“Oh, jeez… let’s get you up… Mom and Dad are gonna kill us…” the big sister worried.
“She does look a little young to be on this ride,” Jeremy noted with a pointed look at the younger filly, who looked away in shame.
“She wanted to go on this one really badly… so I snuck her on. It’s my fault…” the older sister admitted.
Jeremy sighed. “Well, I think you’ve learned your lesson about that. Those age limits are for a reason, kids, it’s not just grownups being mean.” The two fillies nodded glumly.
“AURORA BLAZE AND ARCTIC WIND!” thundered an absolutely livid voice behind them, and the two fillies whirled around guiltily to find their mother standing there, looking angrier than Jeremy had ever seen anypony look. She was a gray-colored pegasus with a black mane, and eyes that looked strangely familiar to Jeremy. “Explain yourselves!” she demanded.
“It’s my fault, Mom! She… she wanted to go on the ride, and I couldn’t say no… so I snuck her on… don’t punish her, it’s my fault,” the older sister sniffled.
“No!” the younger sister objected weakly. “I wanted to go! It’s my fault!”
They quickly began bickering, and the mother stomped her hoof once, startling them into silence. “Enough!” she cried. “I… I’m not angry at you two. I just… You had me so worried,” their mother hoarsely whispered, before taking the two of them into a gentle hug and nuzzling their foreheads as Jeremy looked on in approval.
“We’re sorry, Mom,” they chorused, and the mare above them gave a tired smile.
“As long as you’re okay… it doesn’t matter,” she murmured. She straightened up a moment later, evidently realizing she was still in public, and noticed Jeremy, who had been standing off to the side. “You’re the King of Changelings I’ve heard so much about,” she remarked.
It wasn’t a question, but Jeremy nodded anyway. “King Jeremy, at your service,” he introduced.
“You saved my daughter’s life. If there is anything… anything I can do to repay you…” she asked.
Jeremy shrugged. “Can’t think of anything at the moment, and I’m not really one for holding a debt over someone’s head anyway. What’s your name?” he asked.
The mare smiled at him. “I’m Metal Wing, and these are my two daughters Aurora Blaze and Arctic Wind,” she introduced, pointing at the older and younger sister in turn.
“Nice to meet you three,” Jeremy returned amicably, smiling at the two younger fillies.
“What were you doing to my daughter, by the way? I understand it saved her life, but I’ve never quite seen it before,” Metal Wing wondered.
“It’s CPR. Cardio-Pulmonary Resuscitation,” Jeremy explained. “When someone’s stopped breathing or their heart has stopped beating, that’s what we humans do to try and revive them.”
Metal Wing nodded in interest, picking up Arctic Wing and depositing her on her back with her wings as she nudged Aurora Blaze along to start walking with them towards a nearby set of tables. “Well, as long as it works. I’ll take her to the hospital, and then keep her in bed for a few weeks, don’t worry,” she added.
“Sounds like a plan. Are you enjoying the park so far?” Jeremy asked.
Metal Wing laughed. “Of course! Our family comes here every year, and it’s gotten even better ever since they added that new entrance ride.”
Jeremy laughed uncomfortably as he recalled his disastrous mishap with the entrance ride. “Yeah, that one was… quite a wild time,” he agreed. “I think I’ll come here every year as well – this place is so cool.”
Metal Wing laughed appreciatively. “Good thing you saved my daughter – this park might have closed if it got a reputation for killing ponies on the rides.”
Jeremy chuckled. “Huh, looks like I’m selfish after all,” he joked back, and Metal Wing giggled.
“Oh, you! If I didn’t have my hooves full with these two, I’d be hugging you so hard your spine cracked. Who knows, with how crazy this day has gotten I might just start growing a few extra pairs of legs to do it with!” she laughed.
Jeremy laughed with her, but an uneasy feeling had begun growing in the pit of his stomach. “Say, uh… you’re not with the... Royal Guard, are you?” he asked nervously.
“I was. Retired last June, actually. Why?” she asked. Jeremy shrugged a little too hastily.
“I think I heard your name mentioned in passing, I was trying to place it,” he laughed.
“Ah, okay. Well, I’d better get back and tell my wife about all this - she's going to flip if I don't. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to come find us!” she offered.
“Thanks!” Jeremy called back, heading back towards the rides.
“So, how’d it go?” Chrysalis asked, having been waiting for him just outside the line for The Drain.
“Alright, I guess. The filly’s fine, though I might have been a little too enthusiastic getting her lungs to work again,” Jeremy guiltily sighed.
“She’ll be fine, honey. Still… did you really have to save somepony’s life on your birthday?” Chrysalis sighed, and Jeremy laughed.
“In my defense, I didn’t plan that,” he shot back, and Chrysalis snorted.
“You never plan anything!” she accused, and Jeremy grinned indulgently.
“Anyway… I think I’m done with rides for now. Hard to top that one, anyway,” he mused, looking up at The Drain.
Chrysalis nodded, following his gaze. “True. Perhaps we can come back another day… this time without any drowning foals, hopefully.”
Jeremy snorted. “Hopefully, yeah. Maybe we can even bring some of the kids along?”
Chrysalis considered this. “Well... I'd have to train them how to swim first... but I don't see why not,” she allowed.
They returned to the others to find that Sombra was still fast asleep, and Nightmare Moon looked to be dozing off. The sun was still high overhead, but according to a nearby clock, it was nearly eight in the evening.
“We’re about ready to go,” Jeremy greeted, and she blearily looked up.
“Ah… yes…” she murmured.
“Are you alright?” Chrysalis wondered.
“A group of foals visited whilst the pair of thee were gone… we regaled them and played with them for quite some time,” Nightmare Moon explained.
“Good time to get you back to a proper bed, then. Come on, Moony, it won’t take too long,” Jeremy encouraged.
They headed back to the palace, the train moving up the mountain again with surprising speed. Jeremy, who was still too tired to do much of anything, simply waited for the train to reach its destination. Sombra was already snoring, having been lulled to sleep by the train’s vibrations. As the train slowed to a halt, Jeremy looked down at the sleeping unicorn, scooping him up and carrying him with only a little difficulty. Sombra, still fast asleep, simply curled into the new source of warmth, murmuring drowsily.
“Awww…” Chrysalis quietly mocked, seeing the shadow king acting so cutely in Jeremy’s arms.
Jeremy tried not to laugh, his belly rumbling in amusement and causing Sombra to scrunch up his face in irritation.
They walked by the front of the train towards the platform, and Jeremy glanced over to the conductor’s cabin. He did a double take, nearly dropping Sombra in shock as he backed away slowly.
It was her.
Her many legs were each situated on a different part of the train’s mechanisms, her huge eye glancing at him disinterestedly as her two mouths frowned. Her pearlescent white body shone in the moonlight, the lack of tail or mane made even more apparent by the contrast. Humorously, a conductor’s cap looked as though it had been jammed onto her head, the lip looking as though it had been nibbled a bit by her mouths. Jeremy began breathing heavily, desperately keeping eye contact and fighting his own exhaustion as he continued to back away.
“Jeremy? Are you alright?” Chrysalis questioned, and despite himself, he looked over at her. He looked back,
and M̛̜͙̫͔͔͙̳̮̗̲͙̝̥͈̥͈̉̑̉ͤ̑̊͂̈͊͐̌́ ̰̯̜̘͎̰͔̠̤̭̱͚̖̳͍̇͂͗͆̇̉ͤͩ̏̂ͪ́ͧ̈́̽̇̋̏̚͞͠ͅE̓̋͛̾̈́̑̉ͨ̒̍͛̆ͥͥ̔҉̸̞̥̩̰̦̲̱̬̫̮̭̦̙̙͖̗̀ ̮̹̠̜̜̤̱͙̬̘̻̹̗͍͋ͤ͗̊͆̚̚͜͟͟ͅŢ̶̮͇̼̥̝͍̫̲̩̪̄̍ͧͣ͗ͨ̐́ͅ ̶̛̗͈̗̩̦̲̮̮̠͍̼ͣ̍̐̍̇ͪ̋̓̔͛̋͛̚̚͢͟A͇̪͔͚̮̻̞͚̟̫͖̭͐̒̅̏̓͞͡͡ͅ was gone, as though she had never been there.
“Y-yeah,” he stuttered, glancing around wildly. “Yeah, I’m fine. L-let’s just get home, okay?”
Chrysalis nodded uncertainly, and began a brisk trot towards the palace, Jeremy hurrying close behind. Nightmare Moon, who appeared confused by the whole thing, merely followed along silently.
As soon as they were back in his room, Jeremy sighed in relief, gently lowering Sombra onto the bed and closing the door tightly behind him.
“What hast thee so perturbed?” Nightmare Moon questioned.
“One of the ghosts,” Jeremy answered. “From Tartarus. It followed me… followed us to the surface.”
Nightmare Moon swallowed nervously. “Was it one of the special ones, or a mere spectre?” she asked.
Jeremy checked the window, not even caring that it was a fake window that magically projected a moonlit sky. You never knew for sure, with her. “The one with a lot of legs,” he tersely answered, wondering if she could find them even in here. He’d expect nothing less, given her nature. Though, now that he thought of it, she’d never tried to actively hurt him. She was just… creepy. And something felt wrong whenever Jeremy was around her, much more so than the other Ghosts.
“We shall take watch,” Nightmare Moon decided.
“For the entire night? You’re already tired,” Jeremy questioned incredulously, and she nodded.
“We hath no real need of sleep, tis’ therefore most efficient for us to do it,” she explained.
Jeremy sighed. “If you say so… you think you can hold her off?”
Nightmare Moon scoffed. “We hath dealt with many demons and nightmares in our time, Jeremy. One spirit cannot slip past us so easily.”
Jeremy gave her a clearly unconvinced look. “Alright, just… promise you’ll wake us up if anything goes wrong, okay?”
Nightmare Moon nodded, and Jeremy climbed into bed, Chrysalis hugging him and Sombra securely as though to shield them from any attackers. Almost as soon as his head hit the pillow, Jeremy drifted off…