Immortals: Book 1 - Immortal High
Chapter 1 – Lessons and Trials
“That’s bullshit, LEARN HOW TO DRIVE! Hey, you’re better off using a chariot grandma!”
Luna held herself to the sticky leather seat of the large, rundown bus. The driver was a light blue earth pony with a gruff five o-clock shadow and tired, impatient eyes. He was driving like a maniac, weaving in and out of traffic, WITH A 20-FOOT-LONG BIG YELLOW DISEAL FUELED BUS HOLDING FORTY CHILDREN. Luna frantically observed her surroundings: Discord and Celestia were casually chit-chatting, a few freshponies were in the fetal-position, a few were gluing themselves to the seats using their unicorn magic, a dark green pony with the most bored expression on her face, and the world whizzing past outside the window.
Well if I die, at least I’ll die knowing Tia died with me. Too bad Discord has to go, though.
“What is wrong with you ponies, we’re all going to die and you all don’t even care!” Luna yelled through wide and tearing eyes. Celestia looked at Luna, puzzled. Then she remembered her first ride with Discord.
“Oh, don’t worry Luna, you’ll get used to it.” Celestia patted Luna’s head reassuringly.
“B-b-b-but he’s driving into oncoming traffic!” Luna screamed, not attempting to lower her voice.
“Little Luna, his cutie mark is a large yellow bus. This is his special talent; he can’t possibly fail.” Discord remarked. His facial expression darkened, and his smile widened. “…Unless I’d like to wreak some havoc.”
Luna screamed. Celestia rolled her eyes and elbowed Discord, hard. Discord recoiled in pain and yelled, “Hey! I was just kidding.”
Celestia put her arms around Luna and pressed her up against her chest. “Shu-sh-sh-shhhh. Don’t worry little Luna, I got you.” Luna tried to voice her distress, but Celestia gripped her too tight, her voice muffled by Celestia coat. “I won’t let the mean, mean, bad pony hurt you. Or the donkey, griffon, dragon, deer, ram, thing either.”
“Hey, watch yourself.” Discord stated. Discord wasn’t exactly sensitive, but he got annoyed if you made comments about his appearance. Celestia just smiled at him through closed lids, as if to say, ‘Sorry.’
“Let go of me ya psycho!” Luna yelled as she was able to unmask her mouth. Celestia loosened her grip a little, allowing Luna to inhale sharply for some air. “Damn what’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing at all,” Celestia sing-song’d with a smile.
“Why would you do that?” Luna asked as Celestia finally let go. She was still a little bewildered at her sister’s spontaneous actions.
“Well, think about it like this: Have you noticed we’ve made it to school alive?”
Luna looked around herself. The bus was at a standstill and all the students stood up and began to trot out of the yellow deathtrap. Well, except for the freshponies that passed out.
“Oh.” Was all Luna was able to say as she stood up and began to trot out as well. Tia rolled her eyes playfully through a smile and began to trot after her sister. Discord followed suit.
Luna could barely walk, her knees kept giving out every couple of steps. Never again. I’m frigging flying to school; I don’t need a stupid flight license, that bus is more dangerous than lack of training. Luna held the lamppost next to her in order to regain her equilibrium and composure. The sight of this made Tia laugh obnoxiously loud.
“The magic school bus a little much for you?” Tia called impishly as she stepped up to comfort her sister… who slapped her hoof away with great annoyance.
“You are SUCH a douche!” Luna uncharacteristically yelled, loud enough for all the students surrounding them to hear. Tia reacted innocently to this, defending herself.
“Hey, hey, if I knew it would affect you like that, I would’ve never let you on that bus. It’s been the norm for me for a while and I guess I forgot how crazy it could be the first time around.”
Luna scoffed. “Fine.” She walked up to Tia and hit her playfully in the shoulder. Discord finally caught up to the two alicorns. At that moment it seemed half the crowd around them stopped, and became silent. Luna investigated, and found all the jaw-dropped ponies were freshponies. Why are they staring at us? We aren’t that interes- Luna froze her thoughts as she came to a realization, Oh duh. We’re all royalty; not to mention Discord looks like the result of an animal blender. She saw some of the older students silently chuckling to themselves.
What’s so funny?
On cue, Celestia violently wrapped her arm around Luna and Discord’s neck, Discord being a little more knowing. He wasn’t bothered and played along. “YES! Your eyes are lying on royalty!” Celestia yelled at the top of her lungs, her voice sounding very… regal. “You shall love us! And respect us. We will be the center of your attention! Today, I have before you my sister.” Celestia released Discord and held up Luna so she was facing the crowd. Luna was too bewildered to act. “She will be under my protection!! Hail! Hail! Kneel before her, foals. Kneel, I say!” The terrified freshponies frantically bowed, the sweat rolling off their brows. The elder classponies nonchalantly got on their knees, obviously playing along. Tia abruptly dropped Luna, making her fall to the floor like a neglected foal. Tia then motioned Discord to the front. He smiled a wide, incredibly unsettling smile.
“And I? I am the son of Chaos, our beloved queen! That’s right; the god of chaos stands before you: Discord!” After yelling this in an amplified voice, he laughed maniacally, using his powers to make thunder crack behind them. Looking at the hopeless, terrified faces of the freshponies, Luna had to admit: this was actually pretty funny. She may have even laughed if she wasn’t just dropped like a pile of shit. “Do not upset me for I can, and will, find my revenge.”
There was silence for a moment. A deathly silence. Then, Tia and Discord both cracked up, along with a couple of upperclassponies. In stiches, Celestia breathed, “Man, you freshponies are too easy!” The ponies still somewhat uneasy, Tia elaborated. “We aren’t really like this, guys. Just think of us as any other classmate.” Tia wiped a tear from her eye. “We just do this every year to break that ‘royalty’ tension.” The unsure faces of terror turned into uneasy faces of acceptance. Pretty soon the freshponies lightened up, beginning to chuckle themselves.
Discord approached the two alicorns as the other ponies left, “Works every year. Excellent performance there, Tia.”
“And you as well.” Tia turned to Luna who looked at her sister, unsure what to think. “Sorry about that Luna, but it feels really weird when random people start giving you gifts just because your royalty. Doing what we just did prevents that jazz.” Luna thought about this. She had to admit, she would’ve hated the attention. She then turned to Celestia and smiled.
“Okay, okay. I guess it was necessary.” Tia smiled back and offered her hoof to help Luna up. Luna accepted it. “But give a little more warning next time, m’kay?”
“Haha, nope.”
“Are you serious? I mean, is this a real session?” Chaos asked in utter disbelief. The pony suing the defendant just looked at her. If it were any other pony he would’ve yelled at them in frustration and rage, but this was the damned queen of Equestria, Ms. Chaoita herself, mother of the god of chaos. She pointed at the offender, “You’re actually suing this pony, on charges of…” Chaos picked up some papers trying to hold back a laugh. “…assault on the good nature of your fruit?” Chaos began to laugh hysterically, rocking the podium she was sitting in.
“W-w-with all due respect, your highness,” the offender’s lawyer stuttered, sweat literally pouring off his brow, “This is a very serious crime-” The pony’s lawyer began to say, but then got cut off by Chaos’ sultry voice.
“No. No it’s not.” She deadpanned, a very large, sarcastic smile spreading across her face. “You know what a serious crime is? Killing ninety-seven innocent ponies as a cover up to one murder, that’s a crime.” Chaos flew towards the lawyer as she said this, leaving her incredibly high royal balcony. “You know,” She began to say again, flying upwards and floating near the ceiling so all the ponies in the room could see her. “The Clop Nixxon case? He robbed forty-seven banks and killed twenty-four security guards. How about the .22 Case? The pony who etched all of his target’s names into the bullets of his pistols? He killed about thirty-one good people.” All eyes were on Chaos, the elegant brown feathered griffon who had one talon on her chest and one outstretched as if she were presenting something. “And guess what? I didn’t attend any of those trials.” She stopped flapping her wings and started to fall. She aimed at herself at the suing pony in the left most part of the room. She flapped her wings softly once she got low enough to touch down. She landed on table with grace and faced the pony who wanted monetary compensation for an incredibly simple thing. “And YOU expect ME, Chaos, to attend and determine a court trial for such a thing as trivial as business principle, hmmm?”
“Uhh…” was all the pony managed to say.
“Look,” She stated honestly, “I don’t blame you; it’s not your fault. You don’t know any better.” She rolled her eyes, the obliviousness occurring to her. “But trust me; this is just an excuse for money. Even if you’re telling yourself it’s not; that you actually believe it to be not so? No. You want money, we all want money. Well, except me, but I don’t want to sound full of myself.” Chaos took a look at the defendant who had the biggest, almost adorable smile on his face. Not a malicious one, but a genuine one filled with the joy of knowing the Queen was on his side. He looked like a good pony. “So could you pretty please drop the charges? For me? I’m not ordering you to, I’m ASKING you to.” Chaos noticed the lawyer shooting a look of displeasure at the pony. The pony looked unsure and confused. Alright, Chaos thought with a smile, time to bring out the big guns. She leaned in closer to the terrified pony. She whispered, “After all I’ve never done it with a pony before…”
The pony froze, blood rushing to his face. His pupils nigh disappeared, and his noise began to drip a little blood. The lawyer was the only other pony able to hear her, and he nearly fell out of his chair. His face was red as well. “U-u-uhhh… n-no thanks…” He began to say. Chaos was a little disappointed; he was pretty handsome, but most ponies found griffons to be extremely unattractive, for whatever reason. Also she would have to sit through this damned pointless tri- “I drop t-the charges.”
Wait, what?
The pony whispered in Chaos’ ear, “Not because of your seduction, but because of what you said.” Chaos turned in surprise. Well it looks like old stupid pony had a soul. She was impressed. The pony smiled, “You’re right. This is stupid.” Chaos heard the screech of a chair and turned to investigate. It was the defendant. He stood up on his hind legs and began clopping his hooves together slowly in applause. The pony pressing charges began to as well, then the judge, followed by the jury, followed by the audience. Pretty soon the entire royal court erupted in a grand applause, all for Chaos’ words of wisdom. She smiled, the loud cheering of the crowd roaring in her ears. She took the pony she had persuaded, picked him up with her talons and landed a giant kiss on the pony. Poor guy never had a chance.
“You’re serious?” Celestia asked in disbelief. Luna face-hoofed.
“Eeyup.” Sir Apple deadpanned. “All the electronics have failed, disappeared, or exploded. In all of Equestria.”
“And no one can remember how to make them?
“Nnnnope. It’s like everyone’s knowledge of technology have been wiped clean.”
“Wow. Perfect. Just, perfect.” Celestia looked at the statue in the front yard, a pang of familiar pain shooting through her heart.
She sighed. “You just needed to pull off one last prank to cause some last-minute chaos, didn’t you…?” Luna looked away at the ground, painful memories resurfacing. “…Discord.”
Luna galloped, looking all over the school in search for room 153. She saw the numbers of the classes whizzing by. 198, 233, 009, 322. These classrooms aren’t organized in any logical order! Maybe if I-
BAMPH
Luna tumbled to the floor in a series of embarrassing tumbles and rolls. Behind her, she could hear the stallion she ran into doing the same. Books and papers flew everywhere, no longer being held by Luna’s unicorn magic. Luna laid on the ground in disorientation for a couple of moments before getting up, pain pulsing through her limbs. “Owww…”
“Oh god, sorry!” The stallion yelled, rushing up to the midnight blue alicorn. He extended his hoof to help her up. She angrily accepted it and shook her head out of courtesy.
“No, no, it was my fault, I shouldn’t have been running.” She smiled, trying to mask the pain her throbbing body was making her feel.
“Well, to be fair, I was running as well.” The copper-colored stallion said, smiling innocently as he rubbed the back of his mane. Luna lit up at this. Maybe he was another freshpony.
“Really? What year are you?”
The stallion straightened up his demeanor and said politely, “My name is Marathon Miles, but you can call me Miles. I’m a Sophomare, nice to meet you!”
Luna recoiled, Oh a gentlepony? But if he’s a Sophomare why was he galloping, he should be in no hurry. “Likewise. My name’s Luna, I’m a freshpony.” She turned away from the pony as she asked, “Why were you running in the first place?”
“Oh, that?” He asked shamefully, “My special talent is running marathons, but as a result it’s impossible for me to go any slower than a trot. A disorder or something.” He rubbed the back of his mane again apprehensively. Luna smiled.
“Oh, okay!” She said, excusing him from his mistake. “If that’s the case I could use some directions.”
Miles straightened up once again and asked, “Sure, what do ya need?”
“Do you know where room 153 is?” Luna asked, a bit embarrassed from her lack of knowledge.
“Sure! I’m actually heading there myself, care to follow?”
“Sounds nice.” She remarked as she trotted up to the pony. He trotted as well, keeping a brisk pace.
“Sorry, this is the absolute slowest I can go.” The copper-colored earth pony apologized. His mane was a deep brown and his eyes were gold. His cutie mark boasted four tennis shoes optimized for long-distance running.
“No problem!” Luna reassured, easily able to keep up. “Why do you have this class? Biology is a freshpony class, no?”
Miles laughed, “Yeah, but I took physics last year, so this year I have to make it up.”
“Oh,” Was all that Luna said. Miles turned to face her and found something strange he hadn’t noticed before. She had wings, a horn, she was blue, her name was Luna…
Oh crap…
“W-wait, you’re… You’re Luna! As in King Josephner’s daughter Luna, the princess of Equestria!” Miles stuttered in disbelief. Luna turned to Miles, not expecting the shocked reaction of the copper stallion.
“Oh come on, don’t be like that,” Luna said, trying to calm him down, offering a hoof in comfort. Great, Luna thought, Tia was right about the whole royalty thing. “Why is it such a big deal?”
“Because that means that you’re Celestia’s younger sister! Man, I can’t be seen with you.” Luna felt a twinge in her heart. “Do you know what she’ll do to me if she found me talking to you?!”
“No…” Or maybe it wasn’t because of being royalty.
“She would kill me, or rape me, or-or torture me!” Luna reached forward. He flinched and dodged her. Maybe it was out of fear of Tia... but why?
“Come on…” Luna said, holding back tears. “Don’t be like that.” Luna thought for a second as Miles came to a halt. “She won’t hurt you, she’s harmless.”
Miles looked away from the mare, unable to resist the puppy dog eyes that she was forming unconsciously. “But all the stories the Juniors, Seniors and my friends all tell me! Flasket told me that she took him to the castle and used a microwave to cook frozen burritos then just burned his face with them.”
Frozen burritos? Wait a second -stories? Was Celestia… ‘Talked’ about? Just exactly how much of what Tia told me was made up? “Celestia doesn’t even go to the castle; hell we don’t even live there. I’m sure those guys were just making it up.” Miles looked uneasy. Luna sighed. “It’s okay, she loves me; she wouldn't do anything that I wouldn’t approve of.” Well that was a big fat lie. Though, Tia DID take the physical well-being of her sister very seriously.
Miles looked around himself, trying to come up with a decision. He sighed, defeated. “Okay… but only when Celestia’s not around.” Luna smiled as he led the way.
Discord eyed the room he was in. Some ponies around him he identified as freshponies were staring at him from different angles, their patronizing gaze nearly penetrating his physical being. While he didn't like when ponies made wisecracks about his appearance, he had to admit: He absolutely loved the attention when freshponies first saw him. It was kind of adorable, like puppies looking at a potential new owner except that owner looked as if he’d beat them with a belt as soon he or she got their hooves on them.
“HI!” Discord nigh jumped out of his seat. While he was menacingly posing as best as he could, sitting in a desk, he didn’t think that anypony would have the gall to actually approach him. He looked to his left in the direction of the voice, and his vision filled with a mint-green colored quadruped with purple eyes and cotton candy pink hair. “So, you’re that thing that goes by the name Discord, hmm?”
Her voice was high pitched, but not distinctly annoying. Though he had a feeling if she were to scream in any octave glass would shatter. “Uh… yes.”
“COOL!” She nearly yelled in his ear. “My name’s Velocity Terminal, but you can call me Vel!” Terminal… Velocity? Funny; some parents can get creative, huh? Her cutie mark boasted, what looked like to Discord, a speedometer. “I’m a freshpony, but of course you already know that. After all, if I’ve been here before you would’ve known!” she sang, chuckling to herself.
“Uh… heh.” Discord honestly didn’t know what to say. When you present to the god of chaos pure chaos, then there’s not much he can do with it. Hand him something sensible, and he could fuck it up. This girl was something in the formal category.
“SO, what year are you?” She asked, pressing her nose up to his snout.
“Junior.” Discord deadpanned, his brain finally clicking to what was going on.
“Ooooh, you’ve been here a while!”
“W-“
“So what’s it like being the god of chaos, hmm?”
“P-“
“And why is your name Discord when you’re the god of chaos and the dictionary definition of discord is ‘disagreement’?”
“Would you let me finish- wait, it is?” That was something he honestly didn’t know. Damnit, mom.
“Yup!” She exclaimed, her head tilting as she smiled. Discord looked around. Most of the freshponies had left, but the ones that were still there were smiling with a lightened expression. His prank had just failed. He was thinking about fabricating a sword and threatening their lives or something. He turned back to Vel, her face unchanged.
I guess it’s okay, this girl is pretty cool.
Josephner was still sitting as he had been for the past five hours, hard at work solving ponies’ problems. What Chaos had said to him was still dangling around in his brain, and memories of his wife, Marlabel, were returning to occupy his thoughts. It didn’t make him sad, but it didn’t make exactly happy either. It just made him… wistful, longing even. The void was still there. He felt guilty; he should be thankful he still has two beautiful children, his dear colleague Chaos, his applicable teenager friend Discord, and a nation that loved him as much as he loved them. But there was no denying it; he still had an empty space in him. Someone he could truly love. Someone that cou-
“Hey, Josephner, I need to borrow like, seven pens.” Chaos called as she walked in the office.
“Help yourself.” He said, pushing his mug filled with writing utensils toward the griffon, making sure to give a welcoming smile.
“Thanks!” She yelled as she grabbed the pens and left.
He simply closed his eyes through a smile in response. As he was saying: Someone that could spend time with him, someone who could be more than a friend. Someone he could sleep with and talk to. Some-
Wait. “Chaos why do you need my pens?!” Josephner yelled as he galloped from his desk.
Luna was late to her next class. Miles had explained that the school was originally built for pegasi and the layout reflected that. It was still hard getting around. She decided to lay off the galloping and just keep a brisk trot. The last few classes were actually pretty fun. She was with Miles in first hour biology, Tia in second hour Fine Art, Discord in third hour geometry, and Tia again in fifth hour Equestrian history. She knew no one in fourth hour Enquish, but she loved writing and she figured she would need peace and quiet for that anyway. Normally the picture of sitting next to Tia in a classroom sounded horrid, but she was actually pretty tame and helped out Luna with the workings of High School; Luna guessed that Celestia was only trouble when Discord was there and vice versa. Lunch was crazy; Luna had found out that Celestia and Discord were the most popular (and most hated by some) people in the entire school. She sat next to Tia and Miles, but the plethora of ponies around them made Tia hard to talk to, especially when they were all crowding her. Discord sat to the right of Tia, doing tricks with his chaos powers. A bunch of ponies (mostly freshponies) were crowding around him, oohing and ahhing. Miles was pretty quiet. He was probably just hiding from Tia.
Luna finally made it to her last class, room 333, Computer Science. Panting, she grabbed ahold of the door via her magic and swung it open. “I’m here, sorry I’m late.”
The male teacher looked at her over the sunglasses on the tip of his muzzle. He was the first male teacher she had met, and he was pretty handsome at that. He had a silver coat and a jet-black mane, and had a cutie mark that showed an old style terminal with a keyboard and mouse. “Ah,” He said, his cool voice flowing like liquid-neightrogen, almost like a late night radio announcer. “Luna. Don’t worry; it’s the first day of school, your excused.”
“Was that little Luna I heard?”
Oh, hey, Discords in here.
“Really?! Holy shit! Yo sis, over here!”
Oh no…
“Celestia, you need an heir. You know that.” Advisor said nudging her.
“Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t know I had a terminal illness in which there is no cure for.” Celestia remarked sarcastically after rolling her eyes.
“Well, whatever. Listen, I know it sounds… morbid, but there is a danger of assassinations and natural disasters, Princess, and since your sister ‘left’ there would be no one left to rule if something were to happen.”
“Advisor, bite your tongue!” Celestia inappropriately joked, signaling him to roll his eyes, exasperated. “But seriously, my sister’s been gone for a little over nine-hundred eighty years, you don’t think I know that?”
“Well I don’t mean to insult your intelligence, your highness,” Wow, he said ‘your highness’ in such a sarcastic way. “But the well-being of your empire is at risk.”
“Listen Advisor, I know of the dangers, but I am in no mood, nor do I have the time, for a relationship.” Almost sensing what Advisor was going to say, she added, “And I’m not just going to mate with a random peasant. either.”
“Princess you-“
BLAM
A large explosion rocked the ground they were standing on. The audible bang ringing in their ears afterwards. “What in my name was that?” Celestia yelled. On cue, a gigantic purple pillar crashed through the roof of the Canterlot School for Gifted Unicorns to the right of them. It seemed like it would grow forever, but it stunted as soon as it started. Celestia saw green spines protruding out of the back of the piller. It looked like…
“Is that a dragon?!”