//------------------------------// // A Letter from Twilight // Story: The Chaotic Three: A Zany Story // by LunaJack //------------------------------// “Applespike said you received a letter from Twilight?”             “Oh, my goodness! What does it say?”             “Is Rainbow okay?”             Spike stood soberly before the crowd of ponies assembled in his family’s kitchen.  Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Granny Smith sat at the table.  Discord and Fancy Pants stood behind their respective spouses, ready to lend support.  Cheerilee leaned against Big Mac near the door.  Cinnamon Stick, Dinky, Applespike, Screwy, Mothy, and Zany stood anxiously next to their parents.  Gemstone sat on the floor, hugged on three sides by the Tri-Pies, who, in turn, were being hugged by their father, Red Shoes.             “Thank you all for coming,” said Spike officiously.  “To answer your questions: yes, Twilight did send me a letter about an hour ago.  I have not yet opened it, so I do not know what it says.  I wanted to make sure everyone was here before I did.  Just in case…you know…things aren't...okay.”             Fluttershy stifled a sob.  Discord laid a paw on her shoulder and glared impatiently at Spike.             “Well, the gang’s all here,” he snapped.  “Now, cut the preamble and open the letter before I turn you into a pair of dragon skin boots!”             “Oh, right,” Spike gulped.  Quickly, he broke the seal, unrolled the scroll, and began to read.             “Dear Friends             I’m sorry this letter is late.  The train was delayed, so Pinkie and I did not arrive in Whinnyapolis until almost midnight.  We stayed at a hotel next to the hospital and went to see Rainbow Dash this morning.             She was pacing the room when we got there; mad because she couldn’t leave until she got the last test result.  Soarin’ was there.  So were the twins with Apple Blossom and Aquafresh and Prism.  We talked and joked with them, but it was clear that everyone was worried.             The doctor finally came in about an hour later with the results.  He tried to make Pinkie and I leave because we were not family, but Rainbow told him that we were good as family and if he didn’t cough up the test results right then and there, she was going to buck him head first out the window.  Needless to say, he gave her the results.             There was no evidence of a concussion, low blood sugar, or low blood pressure.  In fact, all the tests came back negative…except one.  The doctor said Rainbow Dash was healthy, but she might want to take it easy for the next few months, considering that she is about nine weeks—"             Spike choked on the next word.  His green eyes widened and his mouth dropped open.             “What is it, Sugarcube?” asked Applejack, laying a hoof on his arm.  “Is…is it really bad?”             Spike blushed a fiery red and handed the letter to her.  Applejack quickly read.             “Okay.  Okay.  No concussion…blah, blah, blah…Here we go!  ‘She might want to take it easy for the next few months, considering that she is about nine weeks…’”  She paused, her eyes wide, the corners of her mouth twitching.             “Nine weeks what, already!” Discord shouted.             Applejack burst out laughing.  “Nine weeks PREGNANT!”             “WHAT?!!”             Fluttershy, Rarity, and Cheerilee’s mouths dropped open in shock.             “YAHOO!” Red Shoes was thrown backwards and Gemstone nearly hit the ceiling as the three party ponies leaped into the air  “A baby!  Aunt Rainbow’s having a baby!”             “Oh, I’ll bet Prism is thrilled!” Gemstone squealed.             “Yup, you’re right,” said Applejack, reading the letter.  “It says here: ‘Everyone was in a state of shock at the news, except for Prism.  She was so excited, she kept turning back flips until she crashed into the bathroom.  When she came out, she insisted on helping with feeding and diaper duty!’”             “Doody,” Zany snickered.             “Once he got over the shock, Soarin’ was delighted. He had been so worried about Rainbow, he just broke down and cried.  Rainbow punched him on the shoulder and called him a big cry-baby, but there were tears in her eyes, too.             We will be heading back to Ponyville in the morning.  Pinkie insisted on throwing Rainbow a “Thank-goodness-you’re-having-a-baby-and-not-suffering-from-an-incurable-disease” party.  She’s also called dibs on hosting the baby shower.”             “YAY!” Confetti exploded over everyone as the Tri-Pies cheered.             “Little cakes with booties on ‘em!” cried Raspberry.             “Centerpieces made of baby toys!” yelled Blueberry.             “Tiny umbrellas to keep the baby dry!” squealed Cherry.  Her sisters looked at her strangely.  Cherry giggled.  “Just kidding!  I know what a shower is!”             “Are you all right, my dear?” asked Fancy Pants, studying his wife’s ashen complexion.  “It’s good news!  Your friend isn’t sick and she’s having a child.  I thought you would be thrilled.”             “I…I am happy,” Rarity answered, fanning her face.  “I’m glad Rainbow is all right.  I’m just shocked.  I mean…a baby?  At her age?”             “She’s the same age we are,” said Cheerlilee, sounding a little insulted.             “I know that, dear,” Rarity replied, soothingly.  “But I thought our days of having babies was over.  I mean, we have grown children who are married.  They’re the ones who should be having the babies—not us!”             “Wow, Rarity,” said Applejack, grinning mischievously.  “I didn’t know you were ready to be a GRANNY!”             “Whut?” asked Granny Smith, looking around.  “Who’s callin’ me?”             “Don’t be silly, Applejack,” Rarity replied, tossing her mane.  “Gemstone is not married yet and Jewel has at least another three years before she can consider matrimony.  I’m nowhere near ready to be a Grandmama!” she added grandly.             Applejack shrugged.  “I wouldn’t mind being one.  Problem is we’ve already got one Granny in the family.  Maybe I oughta follow Rainbow’s example and have another baby of my own.”             “Huh?” asked Spike, looking at his wife in alarm.             “Don’t worry, Pa.  Ma’s just joking,” said Cinnamon Stick.  “At least, I hope so,” he added in a whisper to Applespike.             “I wouldn’t mind being a grandmother.”             Everyone turned to look at Fluttershy, who had a soft, dreamy look on her face.             “I think it would be wonderful.  A little grandfoal to cuddle, and hold, and rock to sleep," she grasped Discord's talon and held it to her cheek.  "We could read her stories, sing her lullabies, and give her toys to play with.”             A big grin slowly spread across Discord’s face.  “And give her all the chocolate milk and cotton candy she wants!”             “Yes,” Fluttershy giggled.  "In other words, we're gonna spoil the kid rotten!" Fluttershy laughed. "Yes! Utterly rotten!"             “And after she’s been spoiled, and wired with sugar, we give her back to her parents!”  Discord snatched up his wife and swung her delightedly in the air.  “Brilliant!  What a wonderfully devious and chaotic plan, my dear!  I cannot wait to put it into action!”             “He is joking, right?” Mothball muttered in his wife’s ear.             “I only wish,” she muttered back.             “Hmmm,” Rarity tapped her chin thoughtfully.  “I hadn’t considered that.  Perhaps being a Grandmama does have its advantages.”             “Yup, it sure does,” agreed Applejack, eyeing Cinnamon Stick and Dinky.  The couple gulped.  “I’d love to spoil some little Apples till they’re rotten to the core!”             “Is there anything else in the letter?” asked Gemstone.  The conversation was making her a little uncomfortable.             Applejack looked at the scroll.  “Yeah.  Twilight says that Rainbow and Soarin may be coming back to Ponyville in a couple of weeks.  They have to report to their commander and let them know what’s going on.  Meanwhile, Lightning and Thunder are gonna take their places in the airshow.”             Dinky smiled.  “I know they’ll like that.”             “But what about Prism?” asked Gemstone.  “Does it say anything else about her?”             “Let me see.  Oh, yeah!  Prism plans on coming back to Ponyville with her parents so she can help them with the baby when it comes.  Oh, and at the bottom, it says:             PS: Tell Gemstone, Raspberry, Blueberry, and Cherry that Prism sends her love and thanks for the well wishes.  She will see them soon.             PPS: Please tell Cinnamon Roll that we thoroughly enjoyed Gulliand’s gumbo.  Pinkie Pie says he’s a keeper. Applejack blushed and quickly rolled up the scroll.  “Well, that’s it.  That’s the news.  Any…um…anybody got any questions?”             Granny Smith raised her hoof.  “You said that Rainbow feller is havin’ a baby?” she asked.             Applejack closed her eyes and put a hoof to her forehead.  “For the last time, Granny, Rainbow Dash is a GIRL!  She’s had three young’uns.  Apple Blossom is married to one of them, for cryin’ out loud!  You were at the wedding!”             “Yes, but I thought that Soarin girl was the groom’s Ma!  Dangnabbit!  Now you got me really confused!”             “I think it’s time we were going,” said Rarity hurriedly.  “Thank you for reading the letter, dear.  We’re so happy Rainbow Dash is all right.”             “Yes, thank you, Applejack and Spike” said Fluttershy, tugging on Discord’s arm.  The draconequess, who was thoroughly enjoying Applejack’s frustration with Granny, reluctantly followed her to the door.             “I find these intergenerational dialogues to be quite amusing,” he murmured.  “The younger pony trying to communicate with the doddering, hard-of-hearing older pony.  Misunderstandings abound, and hilarity ensues.  All right, dear, I’m coming,” he grumbled as Fluttershy shot him a warning look.  “The conversation was getting dull anyway.”             “Say, Ma,” said Cinnamon Stick.  “Who is Gulliand?”             “Oh!  But it looks like it’s about to get interesting again!” said Discord, whirling around.             “And why did Pinkie say he was a keeper?” asked Dinky.  “Is he her special somepony?”             Discord stifled a laugh.  “You don’t the half of it!”             “Discord!” Fluttershy hissed.  “Screwy, help me.”             Screwball grabbed her father with her magic and dragged him out of the house.  Mothball closed the door behind them.             “That was unfair!” Discord pouted.  “I just wanted to see their reactions when—”             “A GRIFFON!  MY SISTER IS DATING A GRIFFON!”             “--they tell them.  Drat!”             “Don’t worry, Dad,” said Zany, appearing in a flash next to him.  “I stayed behind and saw the whole thing!”             “That’s my boy!” Discord placed his finger on his son’s head and viewed the memory.  “Hee-hee-hee!” he giggled.  “I didn’t know a pony’s eyes could bug out that far!”             “Just let it go, Mom,” said Screwball before Fluttershy could reprimand her menfolk.  “They’re not hurting anyone.  Besides, you have to admit, it is kind of funny.”             Fluttershy grinned.  “I suppose it is.”             She, Screwy and Mothball walked to the gate and waited for Discord and Zany to catch up.             “Mom,” said Screwy after a moment.  “Were you serious about all that stuff you said about wanting to be a Grandmother?”             “I meant every word,” Fluttershy giggled.  “Except for the part about the chocolate and cotton candy.  I just agreed to get your Daddy on board.”             “Do you think Daddy wants a Grandfoal?” asked Screwy, looking back at Discord.             “You know your father.  He makes jokes and acts like he doesn’t care, but, deep down, I know he does.  I think he would be thrilled to be a Grandpa.” Fluttershy noticed Screwy and Mothy sharing an uneasy glance.  “Oh!  I’m sorry sweetheart!  I didn’t mean to pressure you! Whatever you and Mothy want to do is fine with us.”             “What are they wanting to do?” asked Discord, appearing directly behind his daughter and son-in-law.  “Join the circus and go on tour with Red Shoes?  Go hunting for the Snark?  Oh, I know!  Raid the Horshey Chocolate factory and go for a dip in the chocolate vat!”             “Actually, Dad,” said Screwball.  “Mothy and I just want to come home with you and Mom.”             “Oh,” Discord sighed.  “The at home with family thing.  I was hoping for something a bit more exciting, but, whatever.”             “Oh, you never know,” said Mothball a little nervously.  “It might be interesting.”             Zany pouted as his father prepared to snap them back home.  “I would have liked to swim in chocolate.