Why Are We Dancing? The Flash Mob Fever

by Zephyr Spark


Chapter 1 The Quest Begins

Twilight and Spike were in town, sitting at a café, minding their business when suddenly Pinkie Pie hopped down the road. Dramatic violins played through the air, setting the mood. She opened her mouth and began to sing.
“Hear me now, O thou bleak and unbearable place, though art drab and so dull, can’t you see? And a mare with her cannon aimed at your sad face, now prepares this town to party!”
Within a minute, every pony in town had joined in her backup chorus, singing a perfect four-part harmony. Twilight noticed ponies with no right to be dancing performing a well-choreographed dance number as they sang.
“She is Pie, Pinkamena, the mare of la Fiesta. Her Pinkie Sense calls and she goes! And the wild winds of fun times will carry her onward, O whither so ever they blow.”
To Twilight’s surprise, even Starlight had joined the dance. She looked baffled, as though she had no control over her own body. Out of nowhere, Pinkie Pie leapt between Twilight and Spike. She bobbed up and down to the beat.
“I am Pie, Pinkamena, the mare of la Fiesta. My Pinkie Sense calls and I go! And the wild winds of fun times will carry me onward, O whither so ever they blow.”
For some reason, Twilight could not stop tapping her hoof. Pinkie Pie grabbed Spike and spun him around.
“Whither so ever they blow,” she sang a crescendo while spinning faster and faster. “Onward to party we go!”
She spun like a rolling top, vanishing into the crowd with the confused dragon.

Five minutes later, Twilight woke up in the middle of the street. She had a vague recollection of dancing and singing backup to Pinkie, but it all felt like a dream. Spike and Starlight walked up to her with equally groggy expressions.
“Boy, that Pinkie sure knows how to throw a party,” Spike said as he sauntered up to her with Starlight. He stretched his arms over his head, cracking his back. “I’m gonna be feeling that for weeks.”
“Spike, where did you get that hula skirt?”
Spike glanced at his hips and saw a grass skirt that Twilight knew he was definitely not wearing a few minutes ago. After his initial surprise subsided, he shrugged.
“Since when do you know how to hula?” asked Twilight.
“I don’t.”
“But you were definitely hula dancing in the middle of that song,” Starlight frowned. “I think? I remember doing a breakdance with Pinkie. Though I think my timing was off.”
“I remember parts of it, but only because we’re talking about it right now,” said Spike. “I feel like I would’ve forgotten all about it in a few minutes.”
“I know, right?” Starlight exclaimed. “You remember it for a few seconds after it’s all over, but then you only have vague memories of the whole thing. And soon, even those disappear.”
“Weird. Well, I definitely don’t remember putting on this hula skirt.”
“It looks good on you,” Starlight smirked playfully.
Not one to miss out on a joke, Spike lifted up his nose and pouted like a diva. “You know it does. Cause I’m fabulous!”
“No one wears hula skirts like you,” she snickered.
“I have to say though,” Spike took on a more serious tone as he scratched his hips. “I wonder where this thing came from. I hope it doesn’t belong to someone else. Knowing my luck, this belongs to Discord.”
“I’m more concerned with how we all knew the chorus to a song Pinkie made up. And how we all sang in perfect harmony,” Twilight said with narrowed eyes. “It’s like the entire town had rehearsed this. How do we keep doing this?”
Starlight shrugged. “Intuition?”
“But no matter where we are in Equestria, we always manage to burst into perfect song and dance. I never really thought about it before, but logically, it doesn’t make sense. How can all of Equestria be ready to sing and dance at any moment? We should—.”
“Hold up, I know that look,” Spike pointed at Twilight. “And I know what you’re going to say. You think we should go on some adventure to figure why we randomly burst into song and dance. And I’m sure it would be a crazy adventure with laughs, silly, and friendship lesson crammed in there, but just think about it for a second. Does it really matter why we dance all the time? I mean a little dancing and singing never hurt anyone.”
“You do realize you’re wearing a hula skirt, right?”
“It’s kind of hard to forget.” Spike glanced down at his waist. “What’s your point?”
“Doesn’t that strike you in the least bit as strange? Don’t you want to know where it came from?”
“A little, I guess. But maybe I’m better off not knowing.” He shrugged. “Anyways, I can’t say this is the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to me. Not even sure it would crack the top ten.”
“What could possibly be weirder than waking up wearing a hula skirt that you don’t even remember putting on?”
“Have you met Pinkie Pie? Or Discord?”
“Alright, point taken. But I have to know the answers,” Twilight said. “I’m going to the lab. And you’re both coming with me.”
As she walked away, Spike sighed. Eventually, a smile crossed his face. “Well, she wouldn’t be Twilight if she gave up that easily.”
“You know you don’t have to go with her,” said Starlight.
“No, someone’s got to keep that mare from going crazy. She’s just lucky I’ll stick by her no matter how crazy she gets.”
“You are a true one in a million friend, Spike.”
“Just one in a million?” Spike raised his eyebrows and put a hand over his chest as if he were offended, causing Starlight to laugh. “I’m at least one in a million and one.”
With that, the two of them headed off to the castle.
“Seriously though,” said Starlight, “where did you get that hula skirt?”
“I don’t know. And I’m not sure I want to know.”
As they hurried after Twilight, a shady figure wearing a trench coat and hat, hiding their eyes behind black spectacles and a newspaper, watching from the corners of the building, spoke into their walkie-talkie.
“Orion, this is Alpha. Someone’s asking questions. The Princess of Friendship, herself. Yes, don’t worry. I’ll cover this up before they get too nosey.” A voice came through the speaker again. “What? Seriously? We’re out again? Well, can’t you just go to the grocery store?”
After some further mumbling on the other end, the trench coat figure sighed.

“Fine. I’ll visit the farmer’s market. Bye.” The pony turned off their walkie-talkie and grumbled. “Freaking cheapskate, making me come all the way out to the boonies just for a jar of pickles.”


This wasn’t the first time Twilight donned a lab coat and hooked Spike up to some crazy machine. Granted, it was probably the first time she looked for any latent dancing instincts. She studied the graph paper the machine printed out, looking for some trend. Starlight sat in a recliner, eating popcorn
“These suction cups are itching my forehead,” Spike complained.
“Just keep them on,” Twilight murmured as she inspected the graph paper line.
“What are you even looking for?” Starlight asked between mouthfuls of popcorn.
“Something out of the ordinary, something strange.”
“Something strange? I think I’m looking at it.” Spike gave Twilight a flat expression as the lab-coated mare poured over her graph paper.
“Ha ha, very funny,” she rolled her eyes, as she mulled over Spike’s results. “It doesn’t make sense. I’ve taken data from all three of us, and dozens of other ponies, and there doesn’t seem to be any significant deviation. No signs of crowd manipulation or anything that could make us burst into song and dance.”
“Does that mean I can go now?”
“Not yet, Spike. I need to make sense of this.”
“That’s the problem, Twilight,” Starlight said. “You’re trying to rationalize something that just isn’t rational. We don’t burst into flash mobs because of some deep scientific mumbo jumbo. We just want to.”
“Hmm,” Twilight muttered as she studied Spike’s results scrupulously. “Yes, that’s right. It certainly is difficult to rationalize this mumbo jumbo.”
“Are you listening to me?” Starlight said, slightly annoyed. “This is just pointless. You said it yourself that your research isn’t showing anything. I think you need to let it go.”
“Just give up, Starlight,” Spike sighed. “When Twilight sets her mind to something, no pony can stop her. She’ll go to the ends of Equestria to get her way.”
“Hmm.” Twilight smiled. “That’s not a bad idea, Spike.”
He slapped his forehead and groaned. “Me and my big mouth. I really need to just keep it in.”
“Spike, Starlight, pack your things. We’re going on a quest.”
“For friendship?” asked Starlight.
“No,” said Twilight. “For science!”
At that moment, Pinkie Pie came bouncing into the room.
“Starlight,” she said. “I need you to help me help someone with something! It’s super-duper-ooper important. Drop whatever you’re doing and follow me!”
“Great!” Starlight beamed, throwing her empty popcorn bag into the air. She looked at Twilight with a sheepish smile. “I mean, oh no, looks like I won’t be able to help your science quest. Okaygottogobye.”
She was gone before the alicorn could say another word, leaving Spike with Twilight.
“I’ll go pack up your suction cups,” said Spike, scratching at the nodes on his head. “Or, did you want me to keep them on?”
“Well…”
“Don’t. Answer that. It’s a joke.”