//------------------------------// // Part IV: I'll Stand By You || Chapter 37: Disturbing Conclusions // Story: Full Circle // by Sotharan //------------------------------// Dear Twilight, How are things? There’s not a lot going on here, which is nice for a change. The Sirens continue to do better every day – genuinely happy most of the time now that the worst is well over. Hard to believe it’s already been almost two months since they showed up on my doorstep. The best part is seeing them getting along so well with each other. I remember them at their worst – perhaps better than anyone else here, so the contrast is really something. I guess this is a bit what it’s like when people look at me… I called them The Sirens just now, but Adagio is asking that they be called something else. Since their gems are gone, they aren’t actually Sirens anymore. She says they are just regular seaponies now. I think that’s what we’ll call them. The Seaponies. We thought about the Dazzlings but Adagio didn’t like that – too many bad memories. I don’t blame her. I have to admit, it’s kind of nice having other people around who understand what it’s like to have regrets. Not that I wish they had any – but since they do, we can understand each other. It actually helps, and more than I thought it would. On the other hand, it must be really nice not to have regrets, or at least not to have too many. Ha! You’ll have to tell me what that’s like! :D We all miss you. I know it’s only been like 10 days since your last visit, but…there you have it. Hoping to hear from you soon. Your friend, Sunset Dear Sunset, It is always so nice to hear from you. I’m glad to hear that the Seaponies(!) are doing so well. They owe a lot of that to you. I hope you understand how important you are to them, Sunset. Applejack and Rarity had to help me understand how Someone else views me… I think I’ll come for a quick visit. I have something to share with you – your last letter got me thinking about regret, and about understanding. Do you have some time this afternoon? Say, around 3:30? Your friend, Twilight Dear Twilight, Of course I have time! I’ll be waiting at the statue! Sunset At 3:31 pm that afternoon, Twilight shot out of the statue’s base into Sunset’s waiting arms. “Oof!” said Sunset as the air rushed out of her lungs. “Oh my goodness! Why does it always have to be so forceful?” Twilight complained good-naturedly. Sunset stabilized them both, then hugged her friend. “Hey! Welcome back! To what do we owe this visit?” To Sunset’s surprise, Twilight actually looked a bit uncomfortable. “Well…it’s kind of embarrassing, actually, but I really want to tell you about it because of your last letter.” Sunset raised her eyebrows, but kept listening. Twilight continued. “Heh…turns out…I have some regrets too. And I thought I’d share them with you, since you said it helps you understand that you’re not alone.” “Oh,” said Sunset, uncertain how to proceed. “I don’t want you to think I’m perfect or something. I’m not.” Sunset just looked at her. “Maybe there’s somewhere we could go to talk for a bit?” Sunset started. “Oh! Of course. How about my place? The Seaponies are out, and mom and Aunt Luna won’t be back until the evening.” Twilight smiled. “Sounds good.” A brief walk later, Twilight was sitting on the familiar couch in Celestia and Luna’s living room. “Whew! It’s cold, isn’t it? I mean, we weren’t even out there for very long.” “Yeah, February can be pretty chilly around here. Do you want any tea, or anything?” Sunset called from the kitchen. “Something to warm you up?” “Sure! That would be great!” “Cream and sugar, right?” “You know me so well.” “Got it.” Five minutes later Sunset brought in a tea set on a silver tray. “I love using this stuff,” Sunset said happily. “Really? I guess I hadn’t figured you for the tea set/tea party type.” “Just because I like faux leather jackets and boots doesn’t mean I don’t have a girly side!” Sunset chided with a twinkle in her eye. “Apparently not.” Sunset poured the tea, and once they both had a cup, she looked at Twilight expectantly. “Where do I start? I guess some background would be good. Did you know that before I moved to Ponyville, I was quite the bookworm?” “And you’re not a bookworm now?” Sunset teased. “I have to admit, though, Twilight, I don’t know much about your past.” “That’s part of what I’m here to fix. You see, I think you and I were fairly similar in some ways when we were Celestia’s students. At least, the effects of our different…character flaws were similar.” “Character flaws? I was evil, Twilight.” “Even when you were studying under Princess Celestia?” “Ok, you have a point. I guess I wasn’t actually evil until after I left. But what character flaws do you have, Twilight?” “You’d be surprised. When I said I was quite the bookworm, I wasn’t exaggerating. The truth is, I wasn’t just a fanatic for reading and studying. I was actually antisocial.” “Antisocial?” “As in actively avoiding relationships because I viewed them as a waste of time.” Sunset’s eyes went wide. She almost dropped her tea. “You?!” “Me.” Sunset continued to gape. “It’s ironic, really. Who would have thought that the most unfriendly pony in all of Canterlot would turn out to be the Princess of Friendship?” Sunset was just shaking her head in disbelief. “Believe it, Sunset. Celestia’s first lesson of my journeypony stage was sending me to Ponyville to make friends. Literally, that was my assignment. Fortunately, not only did she know what she was doing, but I met five other ponies who were a lot better at being friends than I was. So you see, I haven’t been a good friend for all that long myself.” “But you’re so good at it!” “So are you. It doesn’t take that long if you have good teachers, like I did.” Sunset was quiet for a moment, digesting all this. Perceptive as ever, she quickly figured out what Twilight might be regretting. “I’m guessing…some of the ponies back at Canterlot might not have had that high an opinion of your friendship abilities.” “They didn’t. Until recently, anyway. Heh, when they found out I’d been named the Princess of Friendship, some of them actually thought it was a joke. Celestia does joke now and then, as I’m sure you’ve seen.” Sunset nodded so knowingly that Twilight realized there were probably juicy stories to tell. But that would be for another time. Twilight continued. “Sunset, when I left Canterlot, I didn’t even say goodbye to the few almost-friends that I did have. And while most of them were pretty tolerant of my…temperament…one of them…one of them was truly hurt.” “Who? Maybe I know her.” “Moondancer.” “Sounds familiar. I don’t think I ever hung out with her, though.” “Well, that’s not too surprising since she was almost as antisocial as I was. But when I say almost – she was trying to learn about friendship. She was taking a few, halting steps toward having relationships with others that were deeper and more meaningful. The day I left Canterlot, she actually threw a party. Guess who the guest of honor was supposed to be.” “Uh oh.” “Yeah. Me. She considered me her best friend. And even though we hardly had much of a relationship – mostly we just read in the same room or at the same table and sometimes discussed what we were reading – she had learned enough, and was brave enough, to reach out to me.” Twilight, in spite of herself, was actually getting a bit teary. Sunset handed her a box of tissues. In that house, they were always kept close at hand. “Thanks. Well, when I left, I skipped her party. I didn’t know it, of course, but she was badly hurt by that. That was almost three years ago. In that time, she became even more of an antisocial recluse. I had stomped, unintentionally but unfeelingly, on her first attempt to really step out into the world of friendship.” “You knew about the party, I guess?” “Yes. But I didn’t consider it important.” Sunset was quiet. “It gets worse,” Twilight continued. “I moved to Ponyville and started to get to know Pinkie, AJ, Fluttershy, Rainbow, and Rarity. And while I learned a lot – eventually enough to become an alicorn and all, I never went back to Canterlot to even say goodbye. And one of my friends – Lyra Heartstrings – actually moved to Ponyville not long after I did. And I didn’t even notice.” “Twilight!” Sunset cried, actually a bit scandalized. “It’s true,” Twilight said sadly. Sunset calmed down. “I’m sorry, Twilight, I shouldn’t have gotten on your case like that.” “No, Sunset. You just reacted normally. That’s good.” “Oh. Ok, I guess?” Twilight nodded. “Well, it all hit me like a ton of bricks last week. Suddenly I was like: ‘Holy cow! I may have been a good friend to my fellow Element Bearers, but I’ve been absolutely awful to the folks back at Canterlot’. I got right on the train and went to Canterlot and found them all. Fortunately, most of them were pretty understanding. I actually had to convince them that I’d treated them poorly, and then they were ready to accept my apology. Sadly, they had gotten used to me treating them like that. I felt the worst about Lyra. She teases me about it now, but not in a mean way. Well, I felt the worst about Lyra until I tried to apologize to Moondancer.” Twilight sighed heavily. Sunset nodded encouragingly. “Moondancer…was not ready to accept my apology. It took nearly a week of begging and cajoling before she would even talk to me. I threw a party for her to try to make up for the one I had missed and even that didn’t work. I had to call in the big guns.” “Pinkie?” “Pinkie. She helped me to just…be honest. I had to…show Moondancer that I was hurt too, by what I had done. With tears. And I had to tell her that I understood how much I had hurt her, and how much I wanted to do better.” “And?” “That finally did it,” said Twilight, wiping her eyes again and sniffling a bit. Sunset smiled at Twilight compassionately. “So…you two are ok now?” Twilight nodded happily. “Yes, yes! Better than ok. We hang out a couple times a month, and have a great time! And she’s starting to bloom. It’s wonderful to see. But that’s where the regret comes in, Sunset. Not only do I regret how I treated her, and my other friends, but I regret the time we lost. We could have been enjoying each other’s company for years! But I was too blind to see that. Not to mention the time I probably cost her with other ponies.” “Now that’s something I can understand,” Sunset commiserated. “I thought you might. So, I actually have a question for you.” “Ok.” “Uh, I know it’s only been a week since I had my epiphany, and it’s true that everyone has forgiven me, but I’m wondering…does the regret ever go away? Or get better? Right now I think about it several times a day.” “It just hits you out of the blue, doesn’t it?” said Sunset, nodding knowingly. “You’ll have gone a few hours without thinking about it, and suddenly you get this icy feeling in your stomach and you think ‘I can’t believe I did that’”. “Yeah,” said Twilight, hanging her head. “It does get better. I only think about what I did a few times a week now. But Twilight, I don’t think it ever goes away completely.” “No, I suppose not. Maybe that way, it helps you not to do it again.” “I guess.” Twilight smiled ruefully at Sunset. “This whole thing has been kind of a drag. Ok, more than kind of. It’s been a tough couple weeks. But I hope, at least, it helps you to hear this. Helps you feel less alone?” Sunset returned Twilight’s smile a bit lopsidedly. “I wish you hadn’t had to go through that. But since you did, it really does help to know about it. Thanks for sharing that with me. I know it’s not easy – it takes some bravery, even with a friend. It’s kinda weird, though, isn’t it? You asking me about this kind of thing.” “That’s something I wanted to talk about too. I think of you as a friend rather than a student, Sunset. You know that, right? You teach me a lot too.” Sunset blushed. “I guess I had hoped that was true, but it’s nice to know – clearly.” Twilight smiled. “Good. Because you’re becoming one of my very best friends. I’m so glad to know you, Sunset.” Sunset smiled even more widely. “You too, Twilight.” “Cheers!” said Twilight, holding out her teacup. They clinked their cups together happily and sipped at their tea. “Besides,” continued Twilight, “if you think about it, you already know I’m not perfect. I didn’t exactly handle the situation with the Sirens all that well, did I?” “No,” Sunset admitted, “but in that case you were putting too much pressure on yourself. That’s a trap almost anyone can fall into. Especially us smart/capable types.” At that moment they heard keys in the lock. The door opened and Adagio came in, peering carefully into the relatively dim interior of the house. She saw the two girls and broke into an honest, open smile. “Twilight! I didn’t know you were visiting today.” “Just a quick one. Had some things to discuss with Sunset.” She gave Adagio a hug. Adagio returned it. She gave Sunset a warm hug too, and then, with her usual grace, she went into the kitchen and dropped off a couple bags of groceries. Then she leaned back out into the living room. “Can I join you girls? A cup of tea would be just the thing.” “Sure!” they both said. “Thanks,” said Adagio, sitting down. “I suppose my sisters aren’t back quite yet?” “You’re the first,” said Sunset. “Any luck?” “I think so. I interviewed with a clothing store at the mall that Rarity recommended. They said they would let me know by the end of the week, but that I was the leading candidate so far.” “You guys are getting jobs?” Twilight boggled. “Yes. We can’t exactly…sing for our supper anymore, now can we? And we don’t want to be freeloaders.” “You know Celestia isn’t pushing you, right, Dagi?” said Sunset with concern. “We know. She’s so sweet. But it’s all part of adjusting, I guess. Not sure what we’re going to do in the long term.” Twilight smirked to herself a bit affectionately. Now that Adagio was fully recovered, her old mannerisms had largely returned. Knowing there was no malice behind them, Twilight found Adagio’s dramatic speech patterns and graceful movements oddly fascinating. Clearly she was a formidable personality. “I guess it wouldn’t be appropriate for you to go to high school for real, huh?” Twilight asked, rhetorically. “No,” Adagio mused lazily, “while we certainly can pass for girls in our late teens, since we’re actually in our 20s it just wouldn’t be proper. We had finished our schooling back on Equus, you know.” Twilight and Sunset froze. Fortunately, Adagio didn’t notice as she was pouring herself another cup of tea. They stared at each other, their thoughts racing. Their highly intelligent brains immediately realized what Adagio’s statement probably meant, and they both knew they had to proceed very carefully. Without a word, they both agreed that since Twilight was an Equestrian government official, it was most appropriate for her to try to handle it at first. “So…,” she said offhandedly, somehow keeping her voice from shaking, “you guys haven’t been here for that long, huh?” “No,” said Adagio, “only a few years. Oh, it’s been long enough, though. Sunset, I have to admit, I still can NOT understand how you can be happy here without being able to use magic. We’ve found it to be so hard.” Sunset responded, her face white. She too had to work to keep her voice from shaking. “Well, the portal used to only open every 30 moons.” “Oh, so you’ve been kind of trapped here. I see – that makes sense. And you must find it hard now to leave because of your friends.” “Our friends, Adagio,” Sunset corrected automatically. “Of course! Sorry, I'm still getting used to that.” “I know,” Sunset said gently. “And to answer your question in a bit more depth, I do have access to some magic now. It’s not the same, but it’s better than nothing.” Twilight decided to probe carefully for a bit more info. “Since the portal is open all the time now, Adagio, have you and the girls thought more about going back to Equestria?” “We have, but, well…isn’t that…kind of up to you and Princess Celestia, Twilight? I mean, you did say that you were going to talk to her about it. ” “Yes, but I still want to know more about what you and the girls have been thinking.” “Well, for starters I can’t imagine Star Swirl would be happy to see us. I mean, we were pretty evil back then – like we were here. He exiled us here because we were wrecking Equestria.” Twilight and Sunset looked at each other in barely concealed horror at Adagio’s present tense mentioning of Star Swirl. Adagio continued, still not noticing her companions’ discomfort. “We’re very, very sorry about all that. You know that. But I can’t imagine that many ponies would be ready to welcome us back.” Twilight continued to gather information. “Well, couldn’t you go back to your homeland? To your families?” “I’m not sure they’d welcome us, Twilight. As you know, we were sent to Equestria by our king in order to conquer it. If we go back in failure, well, I think it could actually be hazardous to our health, if you know what I mean.” “Still, it must be so hard to know that you might not see your families again,” Twilight continued, glad the line of questioning had led to a point where she could show her emotions without giving away what was truly horrifying her. “Yes. It’s hard. We volunteered for this, and we knew the risks, but now that we know the whole thing was wrong…I can’t lie, Twilight. It’s a bitter pill to swallow.” Adagio’s face was very sad. There was silence for a couple moments. Then, Twilight turned to Adagio and took her hand. With a vehemence that surprised Adagio, Twilight spoke. “Adagio, I promise you this as a Princess of Equestria. I’ve forgiven you, and your sisters. And I will find a place for you. A place where you can be safe, and can flourish. Where we can take care of you. Do you hear me?” Adagio was amazed. Twilight didn’t speak in that tone very often, but she could pour on the authority and gravity when she needed to. “I…yes. Thank you. Thank you so much!” A tear escaped from her eye. Sunset handed her the ubiquitous tissue box. Twilight smiled at Adagio. The three of them chatted for a while, Sunset and Twilight fighting hard to keep the conversation light and to hide the awful feelings they had inside. They were both relived when Aria and Sonata came in. They too had had some success in their respective searches – Aria at a cell phone store and Sonata at a casual dining restaurant. They were both very happy to see Twilight. Sonata gave her a hug that was nearly Pinkie Pie-worthy in its bone-crushing intensity. Once everyone had caught up a bit, Twilight and Sunset looked for an opportunity to talk alone for a minute. It didn’t take too long. The three sisters hadn’t seen each other all day and had a lot to talk about. “Girls,” said Twilight, “would you excuse me and Sunset for a moment? We have a couple more things we need to discuss.” “Go for it!” said Aria happily. “Thanks.” The two of them escaped to Sunset’s room. There, they just shook their heads and wracked their brains. “So, you’re getting the same thing from this that I am, right?” Twilight asked unhappily. “Yes. They appear to have been thrown forward in time when they were exiled. And they don’t know it yet,” Sunset said, a look of dread on her face. Twilight swallowed. “This is awful,” she said, sitting down heavily on the bed. “What are we gonna do?” Sunset asked. “I don’t know. I mean…we have to tell them, eventually.” “I don’t look forward to that. At all.” “Me either. Why would Star Swirl do that to them? I guess…he must have been pretty angry, but…I’ve never heard of him being cruel.” “He wasn’t. We must be missing something. Maybe he never expected they would be able to return. The exile was supposed to be permanent, so…he sent them to a time when there was at least modern technology and medicine and stuff. If they’d come out in AD 1013, they might not have lived long,” Sunset mused. “That’s a possibility. Or, maybe he was even more foresighted than that.” “What do you mean?” “Maybe…he knew that you would come here. And that you, after your redemption, would be the person they needed…to change,” Twilight speculated carefully. Sunset didn’t answer. She didn’t want to contemplate the implications of that one. “Or maybe both,” Twilight continued. “Or he didn’t know they’d go forward in time,” Sunset pointed out. “That’s possible. He was exploring new magic. He might not have known it would happen, or maybe he didn’t have full control of the spell.” “This one’s a big deal, Twilight. Maybe it’s worth going back to ask him.” Twilight sighed. “I’d have to ask Celestia. Using time magic is serious business – I did it once without asking her and it didn’t work out right – I wasn’t able to change anything. She wasn’t angry – actually I think she still doesn’t know about it. But I tied myself in knots.” “But we aren’t necessarily trying to change things. We just want info. We want to know what Star Swirl was thinking.” “Maybe. I need to ask Celestia about this anyway. I need her wisdom, and I’m not sure she’s delegated me full authority on this kind of thing.” “Good idea.”