Paul Trains Rainbow Dash
"You must be Rainbow Dash," Paul greeted the multicolored pony.
"And you must be Paul," Rainbow Dash returned the greeting. "Applejack told me about you. Is it true that you're dead?"
"Positively dead. Do I need to explain the call center to you?" Paul asked, his patience already worn out from talking to the pegasus.
"We get calls and we answer and blah, blah, blah. Let's just get this over with, I've got to practice."
"Fine by me. You'll take the first call. Just remember to read the caller ID and don't use your real name," Paul ordered. Rainbow Dash reclined in her chair and stared at the phone. "Don't stare at it. Try and think about something else."
"Like what?"
"What do you have to practice for?" Paul asked. Rainbow Dash smiled broadly as she shot into the air above her chair.
"To be a-"
*ringringring*
Paul hit the speakerphone button while Rainbow Dash landed, grunting in disappointment.
"Superior Roofing, this is April speaking," she shouted at the phone.
"Hi, uh... there is a gaping hole in my roof."
"Interesting, do you want us to fix it or something?"
"Well, it's raining and all my stuff is getting wet, so I would appreciate it if someone could get out here right away," the caller told her. Paul watched as Rainbow Dash's face scrunched up in confusion.
"Is that all? Can't you just get somepony to move the clouds away?"
"I... I beg your pardon?" the caller stuttered.
"Just tell me where you are and I'll take care of it personally," Rainbow assured the caller, reclining in her chair.
"Okay... I'm in Manhattan..."
"Manehattan?"
"Manhattan."
"Manehattan." Paul reached over and took the receiver, turning off the speakerphone.
"I apologize sir, she doesn't work here. It's bring your kid to work day and Jim can't control his daughter. Yes... Uh-uh... I understand, but you'd have to talk to Jim for that and he is busy right now. Thank you for choosing Superior Roofing." Paul hung up the receiver and turned on Rainbow Dash. "What in the world was that?"
"What? The pony lives in Manehattan and he can't even say the name right. If he's worried about rain coming in through his roof, he should just have a pegasus fly up and put a hole in the clouds." Paul could not process what was being explained to him.
"Look, this isn't magical-pony land anymore. These are humans calling, humans like Gary here." Paul pointed at Gary who had stood and watched the entire ordeal.
"Hey Paul... I know I should be worki-"
"I don't care. Help me out here Gary. Show this horse how a human answers the phone." Paul slid the phone over to the far side of the desk away from Rainbow Dash as Gary walked over. Both Gary and Rainbow Dash observed each other closely.
"Hi, I'm Gary."
"Rainbow Dash."
"... What?"
"That's my name," Rainbow Dash explained.
"Oh, well it's nice to me-"
*ringringring*
Paul hit the speakerphone, grateful for the phone for ending Gary and Rainbow Dash's conversation before it got off the ground.
"Walla Walla Wholesale Lumber, this is Franklin."
"Good evening Mr. Franklin. I was just calling because I wanted to know if my warranty covers extensive fire damage."
"Very good sir, how extensive is the damage?"
"Well... it's not damaged... yet."
"Walla Walla Wholesale Lumber cannot guarantee reimbursement in any form from any of our products being destroyed in a fire."
"What if the fire caused loss of life?"
"Not even for loss of life."
"Well... that puts a dent in my plans. Thank you anyway."
"Thank you sir, have a nice night." Gary ended the call. He looked over at Paul for some sort of acknowledgement, but was suddenly distracted by the horse half he could now see coming out of Paul's sheet. "Paul... why are you a horse?"
"Rainbow Dash, you've got the next call."
"Seriously, why a-"
*ringringring*
Paul reached for the speakerphone, but Rainbow Dash beat him to it. She smirked at him, confident she would nail it this time.
"Claro Puerto Rico, this is Nancy speaking."
"Hi, it's me again. Just calling again to say that if you don't get my Internet up and running soon, I will make good on that promise to hose down the local headquarters with rotten, melted provolone."
"W... what?"
"You don't think I'm serious, but I am dead serious ma'am! I've got eighty gallons of rotten, melted provolone ready to be express delivered if I can't get online by tomorrow morning. Are we savvy?"
"Nonononono! We are not savvy! You can't do that!" Rainbow panicked.
"I've got nothin' else to do ma'am! I've got no internet, but I do have a firetruck and eighty gallons of cheese," the caller threatened.
"You're being unreasonable!"
"Waiting two weeks for Internet when you said it would take two days in unreasonable! Get me what I want and we can give this a happy ending, alright?"
"No, wait!" The caller hung up before Rainbow Dash could say anything else. She listened to the tone for a few seconds before Paul hung up for her. "That's not good! What do I do?"
"I don't have time for this," Paul groaned, turning to Gary. "Since you're so free, you see to it she figures out what to do. I have other temps to train." Paul sauntered off before Gary could protest or ask him one more time why he was a pony. Gary and Rainbow Dash turned to one another, exchanging awkward looks.
*ringringring*