Or is this more to your liking.
That's what I thought so Blue Blood is now Blue Belle.
Well, I'm back in Caterlot and things are going as expected four pregnant mares with extreme mood shifts. The best part of that was when a jerk noble tried to speak and not just one but all of them wanted the stallion's head on a pike I never seen anything move that fast in my life. Oh, if your wondering about my thing with the dragons and griffons well see when we got home that night I received not the girls but for me, a letter from a small town on the Equestrian border. It seems that a large group of Caribou I think it said around two hundred tried to invade the town. But was stopped by thirty dragons who according to the letter had taken up residence in the hills just outside of town. Well, to keep it short the townponies are grateful for the dragon's help even with how they protected them and the Mayor was asked by the dragons to relay a message to me with one request SEND MORE BAR-B-QUE SAUCE.
As for my revenge on Discord that snake was a lot tougher to corner than I thought but I got him or should I say her. Yep, you read it right Discord the Lord of Chaos is now Eris the Lady of Chaos. Unfortunately during my revenge I kind of sort of maybe turned a few of the guards, maids, and Blue Blood into the opposite genders. But I got my revenge so I'm happy or I was for like ten minutes. Yeah, I had to change him back even though it was fun as hell to see him/her try to walk around with double F cup boobs and a badonkadonk the best part of it was when a few of the Guards were throwing out catcalls. But like I said I changed him back and he did take it in stride. He told me that was the best prank he has ever seen and all the chaos I made trying to get him was the sweetest he ever felt. Though he did ask me to keep Blue Blood like that for a while as punishment for how he treated Rarity at the Gala before. To be honest I think he looks better this way but what do you think am I right or not.
Or is this more to your liking.
That's what I thought so Blue Blood is now Blue Belle.
Besides, most if not all of the stallion guards have been asking me all about my niece. The one who has been missing for some time to just mysterious turn-up. I mean they wouldn't stop with the questions like whats' her favorite food, dessert, music, perfume. Stuff like that even Celestia and the others were getting tired of it so we all agreed to a contest. And when I say we all agreed I mean Blue was against it.
The contest was for the next forty-eight hours who so ever can get Blue Belle cornered and then mount her depositing their sperm inside her womb shall be her stallion for all time or mare for that matter. See I might have given some Fillyfoolers or mares that like the same sex a spell that can turn them into a, well um, dick chicks so they at least have the same shot as the guys.
So for the next two days, Blue better watch her back figuratively and literally. Yes, I know what we had done to this unfortunate stallion/mare is evil and heartless but hey we got to have a little fun sometimes. So who better to use as our target to release our frustration on than the one who makes it so easy.
Other than that, things have been going smoothly really smoothly to the point of becoming dull. I use to like to just stay home and read but now I just feel like I have way too much energy and if I sit for too long I'll explode. The only time I don't feel that way is when I'm playing or listening to music. Oh, and about the reading part let's just say the Canterlot and Twilights Libraries have been gone through by me every single book even Spikes comics. Speaking of books I did tell Velvet and her editor all the stories I could remember I even told them some older people or ponies ones. The Hobbit, the Lord of the Rings trilogy, actions like Jaws, Jurrasic Park a bunch of Stephen King some classics like Gone with the Wind, Wizard of Oz, even some mysteries all in all I think with stories and books they now have close to or more than two hundred all total. I did make them Pinkie Promise to keep the real Author for each one which they agreed.
As for Night Light and his rocket idea, it took Twilight, a team of Unicorn Guards, and her threatening that he will never get to see his grandfoal to get him away from what could have been his death. Let me explain see Night was using an old industrial building to work in and the first thing he made was the fuel for his rocket. Luckily the place was abandoned because sometime during the night the fuel ignited and the place was destroyed so were all the windows in a ten-block area. So from now on Night Light is not allowed to work on his rocket without adult supervision, Velvet's orders.
But enough about that let me tell you something a little more interesting see today is Saturday and according to the schedule, Saturday is the day of our wedding. It's not going to be a big one just friends and family. I flat out refused to have a big event like Shinings and Cadance's for two reasons first was I really hate large crowds and second I'm still an asshole so screw the public though I did say a couple of reporters could come for the newspapers but that was it.
Unfortunately, the family part bit me in the plot see Chrysalis's family was the entire Changeling hive so having four hundred brightly colored bugs there was a pain. And it turns out that even if I'm not technically Star Swirl I still have family here. Thank you, Twilight, and your hobby on genealogy so I had to invite them mostly just to see how Twilight would act when she found out who they were. Lyra Heartstring, Moon Dancer, Starlight Glimmer, Sunset Shimmer, and Trixie Lulamoon, the last ones, she had trouble with. But quadruple checking it turned out correct I am technically the Great Grandfather X 10 or something of all of them. It turns out that the Bearded One and his student Clover the Clever got drunk one night and bowchickawowwow. Eleven months later she had five, count them five colts each the direct ancestor of the five mares. The one named Trixie tried to act all uppity to Twilight saying stuff about being my relation until I told her that she and Twili would be related and that shut her up. As for Sunset Shimmer, I could tell that mare had some issues of being here first she walked about as good as a foal sometimes and what tipped it off was how she spoke using everyone, or anyone, not everypony or anypony.
So it turns out Sunset lives in a human world of Equestria and I know all of you are thinking hey I bet you went there for your honeymoon right, WRONG. I did go there but came right back yeah it turns out you become a human version of your ponyself, and I ain't looking like Dumbledore so forget it.
So here we are standing at the Altar having Cadance presiding over the ceremony the girls all looking lovely in their wedding Dresses and me in my tuxedo. We had just exchanged vows and rings when all of a sudden aliens crash through the windows and attack.
Nah, I just kidding it went about as much as you'd expect it to go. There was some crying mostly by Shining but the girls also had tears and it made them even more beautiful. With everything done and saying the I Do's, Cadance was happy to introduce us as, Stallion and Herd.
Now I would like to say we had a nice normal reception but we are talking about Equestria and Pinkie Pie and nothing is normal about either one. I did get to do one thing though and that was to have a flash mob and it only took for me to sing one song.
Everypony had a ball especially Pinkie but I knew Celestia and the others weren't in the best way for something like that so I decided to slow it down and had Applejack's friend Rara sing a song for us to dance to, one I knew they would love and I was right.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3QAqZQYLIQhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3QAqZQYLIQ
During our dance, I told each of them just how much I truly loved them and they told me the same thing but giving me a kiss as well and I have to say for a natural-born asshole I couldn't find one cynical or condescending thing to say amazing, isn't it? I think I'm losing my touch but then again I did spike the punch with some of Luna's personal Moonshine so maybe I might not be an ass but I'm still a jerk. FYI Luna's shine is so strong a pint can put a full-size dragon on his rear and that was just the amount I used so if you consider a ponies size and how much they've been drinking punch I would say in five four three two one.
"Yee Haa let's get this party started," A voice cried out that even surprised me as it came from Fluttershy.
Maybe I should have used a little less but you can't make an omelet without yadda, yadda. Well, maybe not now you go mare shake that rump, to no music ok that pore filly is sloshed does somepony want to get her some water.
After getting yelled at by almost every mare we decided to cut our losses, which meant the girls were getting tired and horny but not in that order damn pregnancy hormones but I can't complain.
Oh, the little contest we had well it's over, yeah, turns out Blue was caught right after the ceremony and she as in Blue Belle doesn't really mind it. If your wondering who the lucky guy was well it wasn't a guy yep her name is Echo Location she's a Batpony if the name was any clue. She's one of the mares who got the weenie spell cast on them, she even said she wanted to keep it, and to make Belle happy she wanted her to have one as well. Her words "why should Belle have all the fun of carrying the foals when they're both able to do it".
I had to stop Twilight from even suggesting what she was going to say about that by saying and I quote" I will not nor have I ever thought that was a good idea for me, so drop it right now or I'm sleeping on the couch" unquote.
Not even those hellish puppy dog eyes would even work so she gave up. As for Blue Belle, she did get her revenge on me with a well-placed buck to the face so after the honeymoon I have to go to the dentist and get two new front teeth.
So as I was saying things are dull around here. Oh, there was a little problem with the Dimond dogs but that ended without too much bloodshed. See the lead dogs found out what a Vet does for a living. (Insert evil laugh)
Now I'm just sitting here in the throne room contemplating the universe actually I'm trying to keep myself from killing all of these stupid nobles. My God can these people um ponies just stop and think for once. The world does not revolve around them the only good thing to happen is when Fancy Pants come to visit. The stallion may have a funny name but at least he is somepony I can stand. Come to think of it he tends to show up just when I'm about to go Game of Thrones on these morons.
So here I sit doing my duty it's a big duty and it really stinks but enough of the crappy jokes. I look around the room and it's a big frickin room and I see the clock now I know how to get out of this.
"Royal Scribe, Pray tell, what is the time?" I ask Quick Quill one of the only thousands of mare that don't like me for some reason.
She looks up at me rolling her eyes before looking at the clock on her desk. "It is five minutes after nine, sir," she said emphasizing the hate in the word sir.
Still don't know what I did or why she hates me, oh well.
Standing up with a shocked expression I yelled out. " Five after nine, five after nine dear God we're missing Second Breakfast. "I nearly scream as I rush down the steps. " Come Q2, you as well Fancy Feast," I say as I use my magic to levitate Quick Quill into the air behind me while I gesture for Fancy Pants to follow.
Fancy Pants chuckles as he follows me only saying "Of course my lard," In a deep comical voice.
Like I said he's one of the only nobles I like. As we made our way through the halls totally ignoring the cries from the throne room as well as from Quick Quill. We walked until we came upon the open doors to the dining room only to stop in our tracks. For sitting at the table were my four pregnant and hormonal did I mention they were hormonal wives and they just eating talking and eating. This piqued my curiosity enough for me to lose control of my magic to drop Quick Quill who took the time to hit me in the head before bolting out of there. I looked over to see even Fancy had considered leaving was possibly the safest idea.
I walk into the room, clearing my throat. "So what brings you four lovelies here," Asking as I took my seat.
"It's nine-o-clock time for second breakfast," Luna said as if was common knowledge.
"But how," Was all I could say before Crissy answered.
"Sometimes you talk in your sleep especially after some really good bucking thank you by the way," She said smiling.
"Alex is there really a thing called second breakfast," Twilight asked me while still stuffing her face with waffles.
"Oh yeah, now let me see there's breakfast, second breakfast, brunch, lunch, linner, dinner, dupper, and supper," I said looking like I was trying to remember. "Oh almost forgot there's also the midnight munchies," I said looking proud.
"Come on, you made those up, it sounds like your just lazy," She said looking at me with calculative eyes while pointing her waffle-filled fork at me.
There was a flash of light around me before I told her to read the shirt.
A few seconds later there was a steady noise of thud come from the room. We look around only to see Twilight banging her head on the table. Repeating the same phrase over and over.
"Why, why do I even bother,"
I sit there smiling thinking life is good, now what do I want to eat.