//------------------------------// // Arabia Phoenix, the City of Wonders // Story: Thieves, Spirits, and Romantics // by Impossible Numbers //------------------------------// Twilight Sparkle woke up one hour sooner than she was supposed to. And in a hammock. The hotel had luxury beds available, but she’d wanted the real deal. In the olden days, the Saddle Arabians had slept on hammocks so that, at a moment’s notice, they could flip round and be standing ready for battle within seconds. Between the minotaurs, the donkeys, the camels, the zebras, and the scorpion ponies, they’d had a lot of battling to do. Fresh as an oasis to weary hearts, Twilight’s brain bloomed with hope. This was going to be the big day. Exploration day. How she’d stayed up for it, silently working out her plans until Spike had thumped the wall and asked her to stop pacing. She went over to the glowing brown of the threadbare curtains and tossed them aside. Beyond the porthole-of-a-window, she saw the adobe towers of Arabia Phoenix. Like snow-capped mountains, they defied the heat haze below, the timber stalls and humble tarps and grand verandas of the streets below. Arched windows boasted of the country’s culture with their decorative shutters, their curly edges, and the pictographic writing so complex that each letter looked like one page of an illustrated medieval manuscript. Between the white peaks and the brown shelters, the desert gold was haunted by a rich lustre. Twilight cast her spell; her pre-packed saddlebags landed on her back, her notes and maps slid in after them, her hotel door slid aside, and a final flash transformed her hedgehog bed-head into its usual straight-haired mane. Her enthusiasm reached the next door over before she did. “Spike!” she called. “Are you awake yet?” After some muffled shuffling, he mumbled, “I am now.” “Today’s the day! City-wide tour day, remember?” “‘s not s’posed to start…” He yawned. “Start for ‘nother hour.” “That’s one extra hour taking in the cultural sights, sounds, and smells of Arabia Phoenix! Come on, Spike! The richest city in Saddle Arabia awaits! Don’t tell me you’d rather roll over and go back to sleep.” A muttering approached the door along with the pitter-patter of small feet. Spike slid the door aside partway, just enough to poke his head out and rub his drooping eyelids. “You kept me up last night,” he mumbled. “I’m not in the mood for anything but a luxury bed.” Twilight peered past him. Indeed, his room was far more luxurious than her peasant’s imitation: the four-poster bed bubbled with cushions; rugs and drapes scorched the room with swirling colours; he even had a writing desk and full-length mirror, next to a wardrobe like a monolith and a bowl of gemstones the size of an upturned door. When the Felix Hotels had offered a tailored service, Spike had made sure he’d gotten the works. “But Spike,” said Twilight as kindly as she could, “Pinkie wants everyone to be there when we go around. You know she’d hate to leave you out. And think of all the history and prosperity and culture you’ll be missing out on! This place is a treasure trove.” Spike shrugged. “Sorry. Dragon’s gotta do what a dragon’s gotta do. Maybe tomorrow, Twilight?” “Tomorrow! Excellent! I’ll draw up the schedule while I’m out and about.” Not unkindly, Spike patted her on the foreleg. “Don’t put yourself out. Just have some fun. You can tell me all about it when you –” He yawned again, showing off his teeth and tonsils with the effort. “– when you get back tonight. Dinner’s on me, maybe?” One quick hug and two “goodbye’s” later, he slid the door shut and she made her way across the landing to the stairs, admiring the tapestries along the wall. The others stood about in the main lobby, or in Rainbow Dash’s case hovered below the chandelier. Pinkie spotted her halfway down the stairs and leaped forwards, briefly blocking the foot of the case. “I woke everyone as soon as I could!” she said, bouncing on the spot. “Ooh, I couldn’t sleep for the excitement! Are you excited? Are ya?” “Even more than you are.” Twilight summoned a map from her saddlebag. “There are so many places I want to visit: the Library of Hipparion, the Gilded Galleries, the Scorpony Pit –” “The Haymaker’s Restaurant, the Epic Poetry Café, the Falcon’s Night Club!” Pinkie pointed over to a random group of zebras at the reception desk. “I’ve been asking around. You wanna have a good time and some good eats, those are the places you just can’t beat!” Twilight frowned. She checked the map. Food hadn’t occurred to her. A quick check along the penned line, however, yielded a smile from her. “Well, the Falcon’s Night Club is out of the way by over an hour, but we should be able to fit the other two in the schedule provided we spend no longer than twenty minutes apiece…” “Great! I knew you were the pony with the plan!” Pinkie looked over her shoulder. “Hey, guys! Twilight says we can visit two out of three. That ain’t bad, huh?” Unlike the tall and stretching Twilight or the bouncy heights of Pinkie Pie, the others slumped where they stood. Even Rainbow Dash sagged under barely flapping wings. “Ah’m… real excited, Pinkie.” Applejack knocked her Stetson back and forced a smile below her puffy eyes. “Jus’… jus’ give me a few minutes…” Rarity went to the reception desk and peered at her reflection behind the blinking pony on the other side. “Yes, we do share your boundless enthusiasm, Pinkie. Ugh, you call that a curl? One moment.” Fluttershy shuffled out from behind Applejack. “Where’s Spike? Isn’t he…” She covered her yawn. “Oh, excuse me. I guess I didn’t sleep as nicely as I was hoping to. I don’t usually handle strange beds well.” “He’s sleeping in,” said Twilight, trying to keep the disappointment out of her voice. “Uh… something kept him awake last night too.” “Oh, the poor thing. Maybe yesterday’s travel was all too much for him.” From overhead, Rainbow gave a bark of a laugh that made the zebras stiffen and glance up. “Yeah, or maybe some pony walking around all night kept him up.” She cast Twilight a suspicious glare. “You were right over my room, you know.” “Oh.” Twilight burned around the cheeks. “S-Sorry about that.” “Well, we’re all here now.” Applejack glanced about. “Ah guess we’ll feel a little better once we’re out and about, girls. Might as well make the most of the free time.” “Wait!” Pinkie skidded to a halt beside her. “We’re not all here! Where’s Cranky and Matilda!?” Applejack groaned. “Pinkie, Ah’m pretty sure they’re comin’. You invited ‘em, remember?” “Yeah, but only as a treat! I thought it’d be nice for them to get away, but I meant to get away from Equestria! I didn’t mean to get away from us! Oh, what if I didn’t wake them up hard enough!? What if they’re really, really mad because I banged on the door like this –” She zipped over to the counter and thumped the wood hard enough to make pens dance, startling Rarity from her staring at the mirror. “– and shouted for them like this –” She swelled with the effort of gasping. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash exchanged glances and covered their ears. Just in time, Twilight focused her magic. Pinkie’s lips glowed as the swollen bag of air rose up her throat and hit the blockage and almost cracked her cheeks. A faint muffling held behind the telekinetic grip. “I’m sure they appreciate the gesture,” said Twilight. “But if you’re really worried, I can go check on them. If you like, that is.” “Mm hm?” said Pinkie, lips still sealed. Fluttershy let go of her ears. “We’ll wait outside, then?” “Well, I’m not hanging around,” said Rainbow Dash. “I’m gonna get a few laps ‘round the city. Betcha I’ll have done twenty before you slowpokes make it past the threshold!” A zip of rainbow, and the air was down one pegasus. Their gazes turned to Rarity, who was now adjusting her eyelashes against her reflection. “Go right ahead,” she said. “Perfection should not be rushed.” Only once Pinkie’s bag of air slid back down her throat did Twilight release the spell. She passed the others and slipped by a waiting minotaur to cross the next corridor, mind sparking and crackling with the effort of reconciling a Twilight-tailored day schedule to at least five radically different minds. Well, Fluttershy would probably like the Scorpony Pit, but she’s happy to wait until later… Maybe Rainbow would prefer to see the camel races, but we’ll still have to wait until after lunch for the best of those… Now, Rarity shouldn’t need more than one hour in the Gilded Galleries, so if we move that time over to the marketplace… Guiltily, she realized Cranky and Matilda hadn’t crossed her thoughts once. Which was silly, of course. According to Pinkie, the original idea was that the two could have a nice, relaxing vacation together. It was typical Pinkie thinking. Two donkeys who wanted to enjoy time to themselves? Get them tickets to a vacation in Saddle Arabia, one of the best cultural hotspots for donkey-kind. Then invite herself over to make sure it went swimmingly. Then invite her friends over, because a good thing should always be shared around. Oh, she’d been cunning, had Pinkie Pie. She’d mentioned the local Scorpony population to Fluttershy, the rare golden apple varieties to Applejack, the exotic fashion to Rarity, and the fact that dragons were loved all over Saddle Arabia to none other than Spike himself. Only with Twilight’s help had she dug up the Wonderbolts history for Rainbow Dash, who otherwise had turned her nose up at the offer of a ticket. And she got me too, Twilight thought. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Of course I don’t mind coming along, especially with all the others too. It’s not as if Pinkie would do anything other than try to give other ponies a good time; she hasn’t got a bad bone in her body. Nevertheless, Twilight couldn’t shake the prickly, cold feeling that she’d somehow been led. Led too easily, at that. She’d sent letters to Celestia asking if she could have a… well, she’d called it a “sabbatical”, though simply because calling it a “vacation” sounded like shirking. Celestia’s reply had been short and unambiguous. Twilight wondered if her tutor had chuckled and shaken her head while writing it. That was all too easy to imagine. By the time she reached Room 018, she walked right past it and had to double back. Instantly, the door opened. Twilight’s hoof was raised to knock; she lowered it at once. “I’m coming, I’m coming,” muttered Cranky Doodle Donkey. He glared up at her. “Figures. Pinkie sent you, didn’t she?” Surprised, Twilight realized she was gaping. “Um… Yes, yes she did.” “And not five minutes since she knocked the first time.” Cranky shook his head. “At least it could be worse. Could’ve waited one minute before knocking on the door again. You know it’s an hour early, right?” Twilight grasped at the question like a life belt. “Uh… I do, but I couldn’t sleep, and neither could Pinkie.” “Twilight Sparkle, isn’t it?” Although they’d noticed each other around Ponyville once or twice, and obviously had shaken hooves at the port, it occurred to Twilight that actual sustained conversation between them was basically nonexistent. Even before they’d boarded the airship to this city, their best dialogue had half-consisted of “Hello”, “Hi”, and “I’m (Insert Name Here)”. “We’re all waiting outside.” That sounded a bit accusatory to her ears, so Twilight added, “Pinkie was just wondering if you’d like to, uh, come join us?” “Look, I heard you’re supposed to be the smart one, so I ain’t gonna sugar-coat it. Frankly, I don’t want to. Not with half a dozen mares and a dragon. I got nothing against you, kid, but I’m pretty sure we signed up for a vacation for two.” “Cranky!” A more feminine donkey hit him across the haunches, and Cranky stood aside to let Matilda poke her head out. “Be polite. That’s Twilight Sparkle you’re talking to! Protégé of Princess Celestia? Magical prodigy and element-bearer? You show her some proper respect, you silly old thing!” Twilight stiffened under the shower of titles. “I don’t mind, really. I’m just your regular unicorn, out on vacation, right?” Matilda beamed at her. “You’ll have to excuse him, Miss Sparkle. Cranky’s a sweet jack, but if you ask me, he spent a little too long roughing it in the great outdoors when he was younger.” “Matilda!” Cranky writhed as only a lover could when faced with the coercive powers of his significant other. “I was just being honest. It’s not a crime, is it? I told her I got nothing against her. And you gotta admit Pinkie gave us some false advertising about this ‘romantic getaway’ –” Upon catching her sidelong glower, he wisely slapped his lips shut at once. “Don’t worry, Miss Sparkle.” Matilda bowed her head graciously. “Tell dear Pinkie Pie we’ll be with her shortly. I personally wouldn’t miss this for the world!” Twilight bowed her head too, figuring it was the safest thing to do. “I’ll let her know, uh…” What’s her surname? “Ma’am?” “Oh, ‘ma’am’! Aren’t you such a star! But you can call me Matilda, Miss Sparkle. We won’t be long. Toodle-oo!” The door slid back into place. Not since she’d once visited her own grandmother back in Canterlot had Twilight felt like she could fry eggs on her own cheeks. She shuffled where she stood, remembering somewhat shamefully that she’d overlooked Matilda when they were shaking hooves at the port. Come on, Twilight! You’re not any better than anyone. “Protégé”? “Magical prodigy”? “Element-bearer”? Those are mere traits. Today, I’m just Twilight, out with my good friends. Nothing’s more important than that, right? Nevertheless, and as she passed the waiting minotaur in the corridor, she made a mental note not to use any Canterlot manners while out and about. She didn’t want to provoke anyone into being awestruck if she could help it. Blue skies peered between the soaring rooftops of Arabia Phoenix, a city baked like a loaf and browning gently. Washing lines crisscrossed the street, window shutters guarded the sanctuary of shadowy indoors, and exotic birds – winged jewels of many varieties – burst into flocks and swarmed over rooftops for less easily disturbed roosting ledges. Had it been any other city, the three-storey buildings would have ended with a normal road, but here was the Trench Marketplace. Sandstone paths ran alongside the buildings on each half of the street, but then gave way to protective railings and the occasional steps descending further. Another three-storeys down, past sheer slopes, another pathway marked the bottom of the trench, and then the road proper joined both sides. Dust bloomed upwards from rumbling carts. Lines of ponies, Saddle Arabian horses, minotaurs, zebras, and donkeys ran along the upper pavements and swarmed at the bottom of the trench. Market stalls creaked with merchandise on either side. Amid the bulging bags and striding figures, Cranky Doodle Donkey trundled alongside Matilda, gritting his teeth in case he got bumped for the umpteenth time. A minotaur crossed his path, and he almost knocked Matilda over in his haste to dodge it. To his surprise, she was beaming around and extending polite nods and greetings to random strangers, who even more surprisingly beamed and nodded and greeted her back. “Well,” she said when he raised his eyebrow at her, “it’s just like Pinkie says, isn’t it? No matter where you are, there’s nothing wrong with being friendly.” “Come on,” he whispered, glancing ahead. “Let’s slip away when they’re not looking. Just the two of us, like we planned to begin with.” Yet she gave him such a stern look that he returned to his gloomy trundling. Up ahead, the two he recognized as Applejack and Rarity ambled on, the former firmly holding her Stetson in place against the jostling, the latter gasping and blinking at the birds flying overhead. The two pegasi flapped above – Rainbow and Flutters, he guessed – both with eyes closed and the wash of a breeze ruffling their manes. He just knew Pinkie Pie was leading, though Twilight was only hampered because she had a map hovering before her nose. “OK,” she said, drowning out the footfalls and murmurs of the crowd, “our first stop is the Epic Poetry Café for a light breakfast. Remember, we’ve only got twenty minutes, so don’t order anything that needs to be cooked…” “Ha! No chance if Pinkie Pie’s ordering!” Rainbow Dash laughed. “Heck, Ah don’t need no breakfast,” said Applejack. “Ah actually wouldn’t mind seein’ the Golden Noble Apple Orchards they got out here. That sounds like fun.” “It certainly has its attractions,” said Rarity, who giggled as a particularly scintillating swallow swooped past. “But might I inquire as to the placement of the Paradise Museums in all this? They have a rare collection of Xanthusian silk gowns. I’d love to get but a peek at such refined specimens!” Twilight checked her list. “Sorry, girls. I couldn’t fit them in today. They’re too far out of our way.” “When do we get to see the Scorpony Pit?” said Fluttershy. “If you don’t mind my asking?” “That’s scheduled for after lunch, but don’t worry! I’ve planned a full hour at that destination.” “Oh, only an hour?” Fluttershy slumped under her flapping wings. “Sorry, but we don’t have a lot of time for everything.” “Then why don’t we just do what we wanna do?” Rainbow juddered; next moment, she hovered backwards, inches ahead of Twilight. “I’ve only got two or three things I wanna do, and I’ve only heard one so far.” “But the schedule was designed to maximize our enjoyment while including everyone in a shared experience.” Twilight waved the map about. “We agreed, remember?” “I didn’t. Besides, I’m not stopping you, am I?” “We can discuss this over breakfast –” “Come on! What’s so bad about splitting up for a bit?” Cranky grunted as a lofty Saddle Arabian horse bumped into him and apologised at once. Soon, he could make out no words while Twilight and Rainbow talked over each other. “Still think this was a good idea?” he muttered to Matilda. “Oh, friends always want to do different things,” she replied. “I think it’s sweet of them to take all this time and effort for us.” “But Matilda, I didn’t ask them to. All I wanted was to give you what you deserved all those decades ago. Now you’re here with me, maybe I could even show you what kinds of places I visited when I was travelling.” “You soppy old romantic, you.” Cranky coughed. “Well, that and Pinkie’s paying for the whole thing. Might as well milk it for all it’s worth.” “Ha!” Matilda nudged him. “You always were looking out for a free lunch. Remember how I found you stuffing your face at the buffet table at the Gala? You looked like you hadn’t seen a cooked meal in years.” “Yeah, but at least I could waltz with dignity afterwards, Miss Four Left Hooves.” “Cranky! I was out of practice. It’s not my fault Mother cut off my allowance for ballroom dance classes.” “Uh huh,” said Cranky with a grin. “So it was my fault you had one too many fermented grape juice beverages, was it? I’d never seen a jenny drink so much. You emptied a barrel.” “And I still kept on trucking! So don’t you come at me with that, you old hack, you.”  Checking none of the mares ahead would notice, Cranky allowed himself a small chuckle. At times like this, he felt like he had two pasts, one spent on the road, and the other jumping from the Gala, across the decades, to the moment when he’d come to Ponyville and seen the face he remembered so well. For the first time, he didn’t care that they were being bumped by a gaggle of zebra tourists, half-blinded by flashing cameras, and gabbled at in some Zebra-esque lingo which probably translated to, “Excuse me, could you tell me the way to the lavatory, please?” An impish urge seized him. He glanced ahead to the group. “Come on,” he whispered. “Just the two of us. I’ll show you some of the most amazing sights this side of the Desert. I stood on the exact spot where the explorer Tea Leaf Lawmaker gave his big speech to the Saddle Arabian tribes.” “You never!” Matilda giggled. “I did.” “No way!” shouted Pinkie. Cranky came this close to having a heart attack. He yelled so loudly that citizens around him jumped and spun around. “PINKIE!” he roared. “This is a private conversation!” “Is that the very same spot where he dropped his bubble pipe too? ‘Cause I’d love to see that! Is it still there?” “Matilda! You deal with her! I’m going to strangle her in a minute!” “Cranky! Don’t be rude.” Nevertheless, she swapped places with Cranky, who glared over her withers at the unstoppable smile that showed off too many teeth. “Pinkie, would you be a dear and keep a Pinkie Promise for us?” Pinkie gasped so sharply that Cranky winced for his ears’ sakes. “Are you planning on sneaking away all by yourselves?” “No, not sneaking. We don’t want to hurt your feelings, or your friends’. Cranky and I would just like to spend some time together, if that’s OK with you?” Briefly, Cranky saw Pinkie’s mouth twist with uncertainty. She peered at the sky as though trying to divine an answer from the pure blue. To his relief, she nodded, eyes narrowing, mouth a slit. Up ahead, Twilight’s and Rainbow’s voices settled down again. A caravan of camels sliced through the group, forcing Applejack, Rarity, Cranky, and Matilda to stop for a few seconds. Pinkie simply blundered through a convenient gap between two camels, apparently oblivious to any obstruction. “Twilight?” he heard Pinkie say over the grunting of the last camel. “I know you really, really wanted to have this super-special awesome fun-day with us, and I for one love you for it. But could we, maybe, if that’s OK with you, try something different today? Just this once? We could follow the schedule tomorrow instead. That’ll make you happy, right?” Out of nowhere, a trench coat and a wide-brimmed hat bumped into him. Cranky brayed. “Lousy crowds,” he muttered. Aloud he said, “Sorry.” “Hey! Watch where you’re going, you jerk!” snapped the mare behind her sunglasses. She vanished into the crowd. Cranky grunted. “Such manners. Jackass.” “Cranky! Mind your language.” Matilda cocked one of her long ears. “Well, who wears a trench coat in this heat? I’m surprised she could see anything over that oversized collar.” “That’s still no excuse for being grumpy. Think like Pinkie Pie. Be a good friend.” “If I thought like Pinkie Pie, I’d bounce off the walls shrieking nonsense.” But he regretted it as soon as he said it, and not just because Matilda’s glare was a dagger. “I know, I know,” he added hastily. “She’s just thinking what’s best for us. If it wasn’t for her, we wouldn’t have found each other. I owe her a lot. I get it. Only sometimes, I wish she’d be a little less shouty and a little more respectful.” “Hm,” said Matilda coldly. “Besides, she’s a dreamer. You wanna get anywhere, you gotta be a realist first.” “You were quite the dreamer once,” she said quietly. “Yeah, well, I travelled. Dreams look a little less rosy once you’ve lived most of ‘em.” The second debate of Twilight Sparkle came to an end. She and Pinkie Pie nodded and turned to face all except Rainbow Dash, who shadowed her, forelimbs folded tightly. “All right,” said Twilight, and all of them stepped out of the main road and sheltered under the trench’s shade, “I’ll acknowledge we all had our own plans for today. Honestly, I’d like us to stick together as much as possible, but I don’t want to force anyone. So… if you want to do your own thing, then Pinkie and I agree that it’d be best to let you do so. For today.” Yet her ears drooped so much that no one spoke for a long while. Cranky felt a wriggle of guilt in his chest. Not much, because long years dealing with hundreds of faces had worn most of his responses down through sheer physical erosion. Still, he felt the urge to say, “I changed my mind, kid. You want a day as a group, we’ll handle it.” “We are joining up again, right?” said Rainbow Dash. “We could talk about all the cool stuff we did.” “We’ll make a journal!” Pinkie hopped up and down on the spot. “The Vacation Vault! All our cherished memories locked safely in a safe!” “Yeah,” said Applejack, nodding. “Jus’ ‘cause we’re not together don’t mean we can’t share the pleasure around.” “I concur.” Rarity allowed herself one gracious nod in turn. “Once we’ve enjoyed our own things, we’ll be better placed to enjoy everyone else’s afterwards.” “And maybe we’ll like what we hear so much,” said Fluttershy, “that we’ll be really excited to go together another day. Oh, just thinking about spending all the time in the world with those amazing Scorponies makes me wanna… wanna shout it to the rooftops.” “Whoa there, Flutters.” Applejack chuckled. “Don’t outshout Pinkie, now.” “Cranky? Matilda?” said Twilight. Cranky gave a spasm at hearing his name so suddenly. Beside him, Matilda straightened up attentively, and after a fashion he copied her stance. Best to show willing, he felt. “You’re the main beneficiaries of Pinkie’s vacation. Would you be happy with that arrangement? Pinkie and I would be more than happy to follow your leads,” said Twilight, folding up her map and returning it to her saddlebag. “Oh,” said Cranky. “Uh… sure… sure, why not?” “You’re very thoughtful, Miss Sparkle. Of course we don’t mind. I’d rather you girls enjoyed yourselves than felt obliged to hobble your holidays on our account.” Matilda beamed at Cranky. “So, where to first?” “Uh…” “It’s settled, then,” Twilight said. “Shall we meet at the Café in… oh, let’s say three hours?” Murmurs of assent ran around the circle. Rainbow was already a blur disappearing into the blue. Cranky watched as, one by one, the ponies separated and were lost to the crowds. Hm, he thought. Matilda’s right. Maybe I do need to lighten up a bit. After all, I was only travelling in the first place to find someone very important to me. Obviously, I wasn’t going to be skipping along like a little lamb. But now she’s here… “Well, Cranky?” said Matilda. “The floor’s all yours. What would you like to show me first?” Shed a few years off your life, Cranky. I can be young again. And the grin of another life dawned across his mouth. “The time of our lives, Matilda. When I’m done giving you the million-bit tour, you won’t want to leave this place.”