Maggie Pie’s dreams were interrupted by an uncomfortable pressure on her nose. She opened her eyes and met the gaze of a pair of vacant purple reptilian eyes attached to the small crocodilian that was doing a balancing act with its toothless jaws around her snout. “Eeeeek!” she shrieked, leaping up and landing stiff-legged and upright on the bed, “Pinkamena! Your pet’s trying to eat me!” Gummy blinked his lazy asynchronous blink and then leapt up to latch onto the grey pony’s mane.
“Oh, so that’s where he got off to,” Pinkie said, sticking her head into the guest room, and then giggled at the flat stare her sister directed at her. “Don’t worry Maggie,” she said, trotting nonchalantly into the room, “He doesn’t have any teeth, remember? He’s just playing.” She reached out to take Gummy and the gator obliged by chomping onto her fetlock. Pinkie giggled as she flipped Gummy onto her back and trotted out the door, saying, “Let’s you get you some food little guy.”
“I’m surprised the Cakes still let you keep him around,” Maggie said, following, “Especially now that they have the twins, I’d think they’d be more worried.”
“What are you talking about Maggie?” Pinkie asked, “Mr. and Mrs. Cake love Gummy! I do have to keep an eye on him around Pound though, especially when he’s living up to his name.” Maggie paused to puzzle that sentence out, and then rolled her eyes and caught up with Pinkie as she climbed up to her apartment and set Gummy down in front of a small bag of some unidentifiable stuff, which the gator promptly stuck his snout into and went into a stupor. Pinkie gave him one last pat on the head and then hopped off downstairs. Maggie followed her sister, but kept a suspicious eye on the tiny, oblivious reptile until she reached the hallway.
The ground floor of Sugar Cube Corner was filled with the usual hubbub of activity characteristic of a bakery owned and operated by a married couple with twin foals still in diapers. The maternal Cake was juggling feeding said twins with clearing out the remains of yesterday’s stock and refilling the displays with fresh items from the kitchen. She broke her rhythm just long enough to smile warmly at the Pie sisters. “Good morning dears,” she said, moving to intercept Pumpkin Cake’s attempt to turn her food into a projectile, “There’s a coffee cake set aside in the kitchen, but you might want to hurry before Carrot eats it all.”
“Thanks Mrs. Cake!” Pinkie beamed, sliding effortlessly past her and through the kitchen doors. Maggie simply nodded in a silent echo of her sister and waited until she had a clear path before following. As she entered the kitchen, she was greeted by a large piece of coffee cake on a plate balanced on a pink hoof, and beyond it another scene of organized chaos, this one under the control of Mr. Cake. “Morning Mr. Cake,” Pinkie said, having already eaten her share of breakfast, “Need help with anything? We’ve got two full sets of hooves here ready to mix, carry, glaze, frost, carry, taste-test…”
“Actually-” Maggie started to say, but Pinkie continued to rattle on until Mr. Cake cut her off.
“You can keep an eye on the ovens for starters,” he said, “That’ll free me up to check the inventory and the order schedule. Perhaps you could help with that Maggie?”
“Okie dokie lokie,” Pinkie chirped.
“Actually,” Maggie said, scuffing the floor with a hoof, “I was planning on a getting a proper start on my little search. With everything that happened yesterday…”
“Oh, well that’s ok,” Mr. Cake said, slightly distracted as he poked his head into the pantry, “Do you know where you want to start? If you don’t, I bet the Apples might welcome a financial planner. Or… you know, whatever exactly it is you do.”
“Oh,” Pinkie said, her ears perking up in epiphany, “You know who could really use help finding success? Trixie!”
“That traveling performer?” the light-grey pony asked, “She and her group seemed to be doing well enough, considering recent events and her history.”
“That’s just the problem though,” Pinkie said, “She needs all the-” she froze up suddenly as her tail began twitching. “Twitchy tail!” she yelped, and all movement in the bakery came to a standstill, eyes scanning the high shelves and items hanging from hooks.
“Pinkamena,” Maggie said slowly, “Perhaps we should go elsewhere so it doesn’t ruin anything here?”
“Good plan,” Pinkie agreed. The one truly reliable thing about the Pinkie Sense, in her experience at least, was that whatever triggered the twitch always happened where she could witness it. Grabbing Maggie by the leg, she ran out the back door and out into the street, where they were promptly doused with a small cloud’s worth of water. Pinkie’s tail stopped twitching and she brushed her sodden mane out of her face as she looked up to see a surprised Raindrops and an embarrassed Ditzy Doo hovering overhead with the wispy, rapidly vanishing remains of a cloud between them.
“Oh no, I’m sorry. My bad,” Ditzy said, looking between Raindrops and the Pies, “I didn’t know you were pushing that cloud Raindrops!”
“What..?” Maggie stammered, bewildered by the sudden wetness of her body.
Raindrops sighed. “The cloud burst from being pushed on one side and kicked on the other.”
“Sorry,” Ditzy said glumly.
“Aw, don’t worry,” Pinkie called up to her, “There’s a lot worse that could’ve set my tail a’twitching, and it’s not twitching anymore.”
“Oh…” Ditzy didn’t appear very relieved, perhaps due in part to the emotions on Maggie’s face as she continued to process being soaked.
“There are still a lot of clouds,” the grey earth pony said at last. It was true; the sky was thick with the remnants of the previous night’s storm, some of them still dripping.
“We’re a bit understaffed up here,” Raindrops explained, rolling her eyes, “A number of pegasi are claiming a sick day, and nopony’s seen Rainbow Dash. Just her absence alone puts us behind schedule by nearly an hour.”
“Well, that’s strange,” Pinkie said, “I mean, Dashie likes to sleep in, but she always takes rainstorms seriously.”
“I know,” Raindrops said, “Look, we’d better get back to work. Sorry about the cloudburst.”
“Okie dokie, see you later!” Pinkie called out cheerfully as the pegasi flew off, and then she and Maggie went back into Sugar Cube Corner to dry off.
“Aaaanyway,” she said as she rolled around in a pile of towels while Maggie wrung her mane out into the bathtub, “What were we talking about before all this? Oh, right, you and Trixie. She’s an awesome stage magician and all, but after that Ursa Minor thing she can’t seem to draw crowds on her own anymore.”
“Well, when a town’s first impression of you starts with lots of boasting and ends with you running scared from a rampaging monster…” Maggie drawled.
Pinkie popped to her hooves and shook her head, spreading water around from her still-wet mane. “No no no Maggie, it’s not just here,” she insisted, “She had a good thing going in Manehatten for a while, but that was only because she was working for a pony who ran a full theater. Now she’s here, trying to lead a small troupe and the only times she’s had a lot of success is when ponies like Twilight or Rarity lent her a hoof. And have you seen their wagon? Boring! Not very colorful or eye-catching, and nothing on it to tell you who it belongs to if you don’t know! And Applejack told me she got the impression that they’re always short on food and-”
“Ok, all right, I get your point Pinkamena,” Maggie said wearily, “I’ll have to talk with her troupe and see how they do things before I make my decision.”
As Maggie passed by the Carousel Boutique, alone because Pinkie had decided to run off and find where Rainbow Dash had vanished to, she couldn’t help but notice the large caravan wagon parked next to the building. It was no surprise, therefore, that she found Trixie and her troupe inside the boutique with a somewhat weary-looking Rarity. The bell that announced her entrance brought whatever conversation was occurring to a brief stop as everypony turned to look, save for Cabbage Patch who simply froze in the middle of examining a scarlet ribbon. “Oh, good morning Margaret,” Rarity said with a sad smile, “Were you looking for something? Because I’m afraid the Carousel Boutique won’t be open for much business today.”
“I was looking for them actually,” Maggie said, indicating the performers, and then turned her attention to Trixie and said, “I hear you’ve been having some financial difficulties lately, and I’d like to offer my assistance.”
“And you are?” Harlequin asked.
“Margaret Pie, Maggie for short,” the grey earth pony said in a charming but businesslike tone, “You’re probably familiar with my sister, Pinkie.” Trixie gave her a dubious look and she chuckled. “My talents lie in finances and business savvy,” she said, “Up until recently I was in charge of marketing for my family’s rock farm.”
“A rock farm?” Barnacle Salt said, slightly incredulous, “I’ve seen and heard a lot in my life ma’am, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard of farming rocks.”
“It’s true,” Rarity said, jumping in, “It’s the most glamorous of occupations, if you don’t mind me saying so Margaret, but I think you’d be hard-pressed to find any semi-precious stones, cobblestone streets, or new construction that can’t be traced back at least in part of the Pie Rock Farm.”
“That may be all well and good,” Trixie said, “but what can you do for the Great and Powerful Trixie that Rarity’s sponsorship and advertising help can’t provide?”
“My full undivided attention to keeping you from going broke,” Maggie replied immediately, “Rarity here has her own business and life to attend to, and you can’t count on her name to have quite as much clout outside of Ponyville.”
“Sad but true,” Rarity agreed with a dramatic sigh, and then she perked up with a huge grin on her face and leaned suggestively toward Trixie. “You should give her a chance,” she said, “There’s really not much that go wrong, and I do have an all-day appointment at the spa that I simply cannot miss.” Trixie took an uncomfortable step away from the starry-eyed unicorn and then conferred briefly with Harlequin and Barnacle.
“Very well,” she said at last to Maggie, “Show Trixie what you’ve got.”
“Wonderful!” Rarity beamed, clapping her hooves, “Now I must be going soon, so please hurry along so I can lock up.”
“Aye aye,” Barnacle said, “Come on Cabbage, you heard the lady.” The shy sea-green pony nodded, set the ribbon she’d been holding down, and rushed over to the sea captain’s side.
“All right then,” Maggie said as the group left the boutique, “first of all, I’ll need to take a look at your current financial strategy. Do you have a ledger or a budget plan I can look at?” She glanced around and received only blank stares in return from everypony. Heaving a sigh, she let her ears and head droop and said, “This is going to take a while.”
“Rainbow Dash! Rainbow Daaash!”
“Pinkie Pie, what are you doing up there?” Pinkie, suspended in the air near Dash’s cloud-house by a multitude of balloons tied around her waist, looked down to see Twilight looking up at her with simple curiosity.
“Hi Twilight,” the pink pony said, waving, “Have you seen Rainbow Dash today?”
“No,” Twilight said, casting an askance glance at a nearby mud puddle, “The weather patrol hasn’t seen hair nor feather of her, and its causing a lot of concern. But, you probably already knew all that,” she added, eyeing Pinkie’s balloons with amusement.
“Ooo, good guess,” Pinkie said, looking genuinely impressed. She pulled a pea shooter out of nowhere and used it to pop balloons until she drifted down to the ground, whereupon she untied the rest and let them fly away. “Try and guess where Dashie’s gone now!’
“Well, I’ve already looked the parts of town between the library and here,” Twilight began, only to stop when Pinkie blew a raspberry.
“That’s not guessing Twilight, that’s deduction. Or process of elimination? Or maybe induction?”
“Pinkie,” Twilight groaned, “Ok, fine. Out of all the landmarks and locations in Ponyville, I randomly guess that Rainbow Dash is at… Sweet Apple Acres.”
“Hmm… that’s a pretty big area,” Pinkie said, “I guess that she’s… at Fluttershy’s house. Ok, first to find her at the place they guessed wins! Ready? One two three go!” She zipped away in a cloud of dust and a blurred line of pink that soon vanished around the corner of a building, leaving a confused and speechless Twilight behind.
After several second of blinking and mental recovery from the onslaught of Pinkie energy, Twilight shook her head, rolled her eyes, and smirked. “Well, there’s no reason not to check the farm,” she said to herself.
There was something off about Fluttershy’s cottage, but Pinkie couldn’t put her hoof on it. It wasn’t the huge hole in the side where Fluttershy’s bedroom had been, because that was obvious and Pinkie had been expecting it anyway. There was almost no animal activity in the yard, but that wasn’t too unusual, and Pinkie was still pretty far off as she pondered the mystery so she could have been missing the subtle stuff. As she approached, the feeling of wrongness increased as she realized that what little movement she could make out at the cottage was all heading away from it. “What’s going on?” Pinkie asked, and as if in response her knee started to feel pinchy. “Oh no,” Pinkie gasped, “Something scary’s about to happen to Fluttershy! I have to help her!” Breaking into a gallop, Pinkie crossed the remaining distance to the cottage and then burst through the upper portion of the front door, declaring as she landed, “Don’t worry Fluttershy, I’m here to help!” She glanced around the room and caught only a glimpse of a startled-looking grey pony near the couch before something shut the door behind her and everything went dark. “Hey, what’s going on?” the pink pony exclaimed. The pinchy feeling in her knee grew stronger.
“Well well,” a rough voice said from the darkness, “Isn’t this a popular little spot all of a sudden? Perhaps this will end up taking less time than I thought. Still, I must not overestimate anything.”
“What are you talking about?” Pinkie asked, straining futilely to see the source of the voice, “Who are you?”
“Can’t you guess?” the voice asked tauntingly, coming from a new direction every few sentences, “Perceptive and perplexing little Pinkamena Diane Pie, noticing what others may miss. You have to stay alert though, don’t you? Always on guard because you can’t let anything surprise you in a way that could crack that thin shell of joy you’ve built around yourself.” Two bright spots of blue light suddenly appeared before Pinkie, startling her into a backwards leap.
Who is this guy? Pinkie thought to herself, and then another voice chimed in on her mental landscape: He’s trying to scare you Pinkie. You know what to do about that. “Right,” she whispered to herself, calming down. She took a deep breath, held it for a second, and then let loose with a barrage of laughter. The lights wavered and then faded away and Pinkie grinned in triumph, but then the light returned, framing a face that was both disturbingly familiar and utterly alien. Flat glowing blue eyes were set into an under-saturated reflection of Pinkie’s own face, partly covered by a long, straight, and flat dull magenta mane and wearing a wide, vicious grin on its face. Pinkie shrieked and backed up against the wall, stuffing a hoof in her mouth as she tried to regain her composure.
“So much for giggling at the ghostly,” the fake-Pinkie said in a deep, rough, masculine voice, “You think too highly of yourself Pinkie. You behave like you’re the glue that holds your friends, or maybe even the entire town together. Discord played on that, didn’t he? He turned the laughter against you, but yet he considered your Element to be his favorite.”
“He… he was just trying to get under our skin,” Pinkie protested, “He thought he could undermine the power of friendship.”
“That he did,” the false-Pinkie said, its eyes turning green, “and he succeeded. Not just by temporarily brainwashing you either; he left a more lasting impression – on you.” It drew closer to Pinkie, bringing its personal spotlight with it, and tapped her on the forehead. “Eternal chaos comes with chocolate rain you guys! Chocolate. Rain! And as I heard it, you weren’t exactly concerned about the discovery that the Elements of Harmony weren’t where they were supposed to be.”
“What are you implying?” Pinkie asked angrily, pushing back against her sinister double.
“Let me be clear,” the other said, “Discord was sealed for millennia after the Princesses were done with him, even long after the Nightmare broke their bond. You and your friends seal him up and he’s already breaking free mere months later. Somepony wasn’t fully committed to ending his reign; somepony would’ve been happy to live in his kind of world, had he not turned her into a grump.”
“That… that’s not true,” Pinkie protested, but her voice grew weak even as she said it. Doubts began to fill her mind, and images of her friends hearing these accusations and turning against her, driving her out and finding a new pony to be the Element of Laughter. She started to quake with fear and her mane fell flat to match the glowing-eyed copy in front of her. “What do you want with me?” she asked.
“I could leave you broken like this,” the other pony said as an ash-grey unicorn horn suddenly appeared on its forehead and its form began to shift subtly, “But there’s too much risk involved there. I can’t dispose of you yet though, or the sound of the rift closing will attract half the town. We’ll have to wait until the night, when everyone’s asleep. Until then, let’s play. You like games don’t you? Pin the tail on the pony sound good?”