//------------------------------// // You Want Me To Do What!? // Story: Unexpected Adventure // by WhooshieWoosh //------------------------------// I set down near a farm on the outskirts of town so I could plot a course. I wanted to find somewhere easily defendable that would be difficult to find. Maybe I should ask Ra'avez if there were any old dragon homes I could move into. Like... an ancient dragon bunker. Suddenly, a deeply accented voice called out, "Heeey! You there! Cmere fer a sec, sonny!" Looking over my shoulder, I saw an old, wrinkley pony waving to me from a rocking chair on the porch. I pointed to myself and she nodded. Once I'd walked over I gave her an odd look and asked, "Do you need something?" "How'd you like ta make some bits real quick?" "Uh...." She laughed. "Course ya do. Anyway, I need you ta watch Applebloom and her friends. I was going ta, but I just heard that tha Ponyville Roller-Rama is having a special deal so me an the old roller derby mares are gonna go get our scate on." "So... you want me... a dragon... to babysit?" "Peeeerdy much." "...Can you throw in one of those pies for the road when I'm done?" She grinned and held her hoof out. I shook it and asked, "Where are they then?" "Oh in their liddle clubhouse. Just go right from the barn into the orchard." "Cool. See you when you're back... hopefully with my money and pie." "Yup!" She turned and yelled into the house. "Alrighty ladies! Let's kick it!" Three other mares came hurriedly out of the house with roller skates and biker helmets on their backs. The pony I'd been talking to grabbed a pair of skates out of her knitting basket before also grabbing a spiked helmet and leather jacket. She cheered before hurrying after her friends. "Rwlr sk8 for lyfe!" Her friends all raised their hooves and replied, "Rwlr sk8 2 kre8" I laughed as they walked over the hill. "They remind me of my grandma from Maine. Grammy McCain once chased off some vandals with her rolling pin and a 44. Magnum. Heh... rest in peace Grammy... rest in peace." I finished reminiscing and began to search for my new wards. After a brief walk I found a treehouse that obviously was what the pony had been talking about. I walked up the ramp and gave the door a knock. "Just a second!" I heard scurrying from inside before a small white unicorn with a curly mane opened the door. She froze when she saw me and I gave her a smile. "Sweetie Bell, who's there?" An orange pegasus with a purple mane walked over and joined her friend in staring. I raised an eyebrow as yet another pony walked over. This one was yellow and had a red mane with a big, pink bow in it. She took one look at me before asking, "Why are y'all wearin a coat?" "Probably the same reason you're wearing a bow." She looked up at her bow before shrugging. "Cause I think it looks nice?" "Yup." "Huh... so, uh, what're you doin here?" "Some old pony is paying me to watch you guys while she goes roller skating." They all gasped and Yellow gave me a surprised look. "Granny Smith hired YOU to watch us?" "Yup." "That's... that's...." They all lept in the air before shouting together, "Awesome!" To be honest... I would totally have said the same thing as a kid if a dragon had been my baby sitter. I awkwardly stood by as they began to talk excitedly. What... I'm bad with kids. I just really like money... and pie. After a bit they turned to me and the yellow one said, "Er, Mr. Dragon?" "Yeah?" They all scuffed their hooves and looked nervously at eachother before continuing. "Well... we were gonna ask Spike if he could pretend ta be a mean dragon trying ta attack Ponyville, you know, to see if we'd get dragon fighting hero cutie marks...." "But now you want me to do it?" They all nodded, looking hopeful. Oh sheesh, I am so going to regret this, aren't I? With a sigh I said, "Alright... what do you want me to do?" -------------------------------- As the dust cleared, Apple Bloom wiped the sweat out of her eyes before tightening her grip on her blade. She looked to her companions as Scootaloo readied another arrow and Sweetie Bell light her horn, lightning crackling as she prepared to attack. Apple Bloom prepared to tell them to charge the vile beast before it could recover, when suddenly the earth began to shake. They all prepared as the fell dragon snarled at them. It was down on all fours and towered above them. It could easily gobble them up whole with a single chomp. "Dwnph wet ii gerbl yo uh!" Sweetie Bell looked confused. "What?" "Dwnph wet ii gerbl yo uh!!!" Scootaloo scrunched her face up. "Down... wet-ey gargle yo-uh?" "Neeew! Ahhha sphe dwnph... wet... ii... gerbl... yo... uh!" The fell dragon scratched its head. "Uh... what language are you speaking?" Apple Bloom rolled her eyes before spitting out her sword. "Ah said don't let him gobble you up!" "Oooooooh!" "Right... now where's mah sword?" "Here you go." "Thanks." She took the weapon in her mouth again and the dragon retreated before letting out an ear-splitting roar. The heroes responded with a battlecry and sprang into action. Apple Bloom ducked below the monster's claw swipe and slashed across its hind leg. The beast howled in fury only for Scootaloo to shoot it with her arrows. The dragon lept back only for Sweetie Bell to shoot lightning bolts at it. As the beast reared onto its hind legs the three warriors grouped up and charged. "CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS MONSTER SLAYERS GO!!!!!!" They slammed, full force, into its soft, squishy underside (MY STOMACH IS NOT SOFT AND SQUISHY!) causing to topple to the ground, defeated. Scootaloo stood tall upon the belly of the beast and cried, "And once again, the Cutie Mark Crusafers have saved the day!" They all looked to their flanks and-- "Aww... I was sure this was it! I even narrated super awesomely!" Scootaloo tossed her wooden bow and toy arrows to the side before hopping down and walking over to the chart they'd set up to catalogue their various ideas. So far, they'd tried dragon racing, (wouldn't work given there wasn't another dragon around except for Spike, and he was just a baby.) cooking with dragon fire, (at least they got smores out of that one) and dragon tea parties (Sweetie Bell's idea, not as cool as it sounded.) With a sigh Scootaloo crossed their last resort of the list. Dragon slaying was a bust. "Cheer up, Scootaloo, at least it was fun!" Scootaloo sighed as Apple Bloom set her wooden sword down and picked up one of the cardboard lightning bolts they'd made for Sweetie Bell to throw. Scootaloo shrugged. "Yeah, it was." "Says you! Getting hit in the shin with a wooden sword doesn't feel too great!" Apple Bloom nervously chuckled as I groaned. "Yeah... sorry 'bout that. I hit ya a bit harder than I was trying." I huffed as I remained lying on my back on the ground. Not just because my leg hurt, but also because I had a unicorn lying on my stomach. I raised my head and looked at Sweetie Bell as she lay sprawled out on me. "Ahem, do I look like a mattress to you?" She groaned and rolled over so she could look at me. "But all that fighting made me tired! And you're super warm and comfy!" "Well at least I know I have a promising career lined up as a mattress." She yawned before nodding. "Uhuh, especially during winter." I rolled my eyes before gently pushing her off. She grumbled as she walked over to her friends and looked at the chart. "So, what should we try now?" The other two fillies shrugged. I cleared my throat as I walked over. "I might have an idea." --------------------------- Meanwhile, Twilight and gang sat in the park, happily munching on pastries from Sugarcube Corner. Given that Spike had just miraculously returned, there appeared to be no excuse to not celebrate. In a brief lapse in the conversation, Applejack looked over and frowned. "Hang on, ain't that Granny Smith?" The others all turned to look as well and Pinkie Pie said, "Hmm... yep! It suuure is!" "But... she's supposed ta be watching Apple Bloom?!" She cupped her hooves around her mouth and yelled, "GRANNY SMITH! C'MERE FOR A SEC!" Said mare turned and trotted over, her roller skating friends following after her. "Howdy girls. Whatja need Applejack?" "Ah thought you were goin ta watch Apple Bloom and her friends today? Who's watching them?" Granny Smith waved a hoof. "Some dragon in a coat." The assembled mares all gasped and Twilight said, "Were his scales blue and he had a black coat on?" "Yuuuup." They all looked at eachother and scowled. "Drake!" Rarity gasped. "If he's with them, who knows what sort of dastardly scheme he's up to! Sweetie Bell, Scootaloo, and Apple Bloom could be in trouble!" Rainbow Dash lept into the air before hovering in place. "C'mon! Let's head to Sweet Apple Acres and stop him!" Granny Smith held up a hoof. "We also owe him about ten bits and a pie fer watching the girls!" The mares didn't acknowledge her bit raced off, leaving Granny Smith, Spike, and Granny Smith's friends behind. Spike tried to call after them, "Wait! He's actually not that bad!" Granny Smith placed a hoof on his shoulder. "Don't you worry sonny, we'll catch up to them." "How?" Granny Smith grinned and nodded to her friends. "It's time for the Country Gals to roll out again!" The elderly mares all started to cheer and whoop as they donned their skates. Granny Smith passed Spike a pair. "Wait, why do you have extra roller skates?" "Son, roller skates are like dentures. Always carry extras and soak them in water overnight." "Uhh... what?" "Hang on tight little feller! We don't slow down for greenhorns!" Spike screamed as he was dragged off by the speeding grannies. "Sk8 4 lyf!!!!!" ... "And remember to get his pie!" ------------------------------ Applejack led the charge as the ran towards the clubhouse. They heard the screams before they climbed the hill. "Hurry! We got tah save them!" The mares all voiced their agreement (except Fluttershy who was trying not to pass out from fear.) and rounded the corner of the clubhouse to see-- ----------------------- "How in the heck did you three manage to even do this? We were playing hide and seek!" I stood staring up at the three fillies as they hung upside down from a glob of tree sap. Sweetie Bell groaned, "Trust me, we have a history with tree sap." I shook my head as they continued to struggle to get free. "Give me a second." I flapped my wings and landed on the branch they were hanging from. "Sheesh, I'm going to have to get creative. I don't even know how you managed to collect this much sap!" I conjured my sword and began carefully positioning it to cut the branch. That is, until I heard the yelling. "You leave them alone!" I looked down and-- "Oh... it's you six." "Hi, Sis!" "Don't worry Apple Bloom! We'll save you!" "Cool! Oh, meet Drake, he--" Rarity glared at me. "Trust me, we know all about him." I looked from my sword to the three hanging children. "Okay, this looks a whole lot worse than it is." Rainbow flew towards me causing me to hurriedly leap out of the way. "Dang! You're freaking fast!" She began to circle back around and flew full force towards me. Oh... I know what to do. I jumped to the side and grabbed the branch before letting it go. As I'd suspected from her wide turn, she couldn't turn easily at high speeds. Her face hit the branch and her body got stuck in the top of the sap before she flopped over and hung from her hooves beside Scootaloo. "Wow! That was so awesome Rainbow Dash!" "Ow... heh, don't sweat it--" *crack* "... kid?" With a snap the branch broke and began to fall, the ponies attached to it screaming at the top of their lungs. Before it hit the ground I reached out and grabbed it from the branch I was hanging from. I almost lost my grip as their weight challenged my strength. "Dang! How much do you weigh!" Suddenly the branch was surrounded with a purple aura and wrenched away... subsequently with me being wrenched from my branch and falling to the ground. "Not cool. Not... cool." I stood up to see five very angry ponies and one angry pony trying to free her tail from tree sap. "Hello, ponies." Twilight scowled. "Drake. I should've known you'd be back to cause trouble." "Yeah... you should've. Anyway, I'll just collect my pay and bounce. I don't want to be a--" Rainbow Dash struggled a bit more before yelling, "Only place you're heading is back to jail! And this time you'll stay there!" "Yeah, uh, that's just like your opinion man." The Pink one adjusted her cannon(?) before frowning. "I'd rather be throwing a party, but I'll help my friends take down a meanie McMeaniepants any day!" "... charming." "Hey sis, how do y'all know Drake?" "Not now Apple Bloom." I entered a fighting stance as I continued to stare down the ponies. "Alright then, let's--" "YEEEEEHAAWW!" Old pony from before came to a screeching halt in front of me before handing me a pie and a couple bits. "Here's yer pay, sonny. I'll watch 'em from here." "Oh sweet! Thanks" She nodded before skating over to the fillies and Rainbow Dash. "Got yourselves stuck, huh?" "...yeah." "Welp, nothing for it but some of my sap-away! I'll get y'all cleaned up before you can say 'ew, why does it smell like that.'" Twilight turned away and said, "Whatever, prepare to face--" She paused when she say only empty space. "...justice. Ugh! How many times is he going to get escape from justice!" Pinkie tapped her hooves together in thought before shrugging. "Probably until it becomes too cliche and predictable to be entertaining."