//------------------------------// // Chapter 18 // Story: Prim Rose's Redemption // by Hope //------------------------------// “Lady Star, ‘tis a joy to see thee as always,” Princess Luna said as she took the elderly mare in the embrace of her wings and drew her close. Lady Nova Star had aged well, even for an earth pony. She was one hundred and nine years old, but still performed her own gardening on her estate, and showed no signs of slowing down, unlike Prim Rose, who lay asleep in her room nearby. Nova Star was not very tall, but had the thick strong legs of a mare that was accustomed to plowing fields and doing heavy work. It was a contradictory appearance to her well polished hooves, silver tiara, and the royal lunar crest upon her cloak that hung next to the door. Her coat was royal blue, with a jet black mane that had thin strips of white in it, like shooting stars through the night sky. Her eyes were a pale blue. “And an honor to see thee, Lulu,” Nova said with a soft smile. Princess Luna laughed, light and joyful, as she let the mare go and shut the door to the great chamber. “Truly, thou art my child like none other, able to make formality itself sound loving,” Princess Luna said as she relaxed into a lounge chair, Nova taking the one across from her. “For I choose thee!” Nova said gleefully. “Truly, I’d have no other mother than thee.” “Flattery, Nova. Flattery.” “Unfit for royalty, but not unwanted,” Nova countered playfully. “Ah, thee may outwit me in every joust, even in private. Fair, fair. What of thy grandchildren?” Princess Luna asked curiously, smiling. “Terribly playful,” Nova said with a wistful smile. “The youngest just gained his mark, and is now determined to reshape the whole of the glassmaking industry to somehow construct a new type of telescope. He says that he will yet find all of thy celestial secrets.” Princess Luna chuckled, shaking her head. “Secrets… Even I know not what lays in the stars. Only that I may shift our view of them, as a sculptor turning to expose a fresh perspective. There is no fine control.” “Nonetheless, my grandson shall soon be peering into that black sky, seeking out hidden meaning. The rest are… doing well enough.” Luna was curious, but waited until Nova continued, looking to her silently rather than interrupting to question her. “They are old enough to know aunt Rose,” Nova said after a prolonged silence. “With her deteriorated condition, many of them are coming to the realization that she will not be here much longer, and though their parents are similarly upset, they know how to accommodate grief. The grandchildren are… struggling.” Luna nodded, and looked away. She had no helpful words or ways of dulling the pain. Besides burying it or ignoring it, she was not handling it all so well herself. She looked in the direction of Prim’s chambers down the hall, before looking to the floor. “Art thou fighting to keep her alive because thou art just as frightened?” Nova asked, as gently as she could. Luna stood and paced to the blue stained glass window, through which she could see the gardens. The first memory that sprung to mind was when she’d happened across Prim’s dream that night she’d fallen asleep on the garden’s stone bench. She remembered how she’d been caught up in the emotion of the dream, and witnessed it from a distance, wishing only to better understand the mare who was living it. She wished that she had intervened somehow instead. “I do not know,” Luna admitted weakly. “Can it not be both for her and for me?” She looked back at Nova, who looked concerned. She then looked back out of the window. “Can I not just be keeping her alive because it is the right thing to do?” “Is it?” Luna closed her eyes and shuddered, trying to fight off the simple question. As tears began slipping down her cheeks she shook her head. “I can not let go of her,” Luna whispered. “I can not… She’d forgive me!” She said weakly. “I know. We both know that she wouldst forgive thee without hesitation, but that does not make it right,” Nova said as she stood. She went to Luna’s side and leaned on her as Luna cried, eyes closed as if she could keep it all from truly touching her if she did not open her eyes. “How long would she have if thee stopped the medicine, stopped the spell treatment?” “A day, maybe two,” Luna whimpered. “Would she be in pain?” “I would fix that, pain is no obstacle to an alicorn’s magic,” Luna said as she turned her head away, opening her eyes and taking in the great chamber, all the little changes Prim had made. The books were more interesting now, as it shared duty with the reading room. The wine cabinet faced towards the wall, hidden partly behind a small table where dishes could be rested. The table in the middle of the room had two segments which could be raised or lowered. The skylight had a curtain matching those on the stained glass windows, which could be drawn across it with a pull string, allowing meetings during the day without sunlight or spying eyes intruding. “But she would be able to stand, be awake?” “Well enough,” Luna admitted sadly. “So dost thou let her fade quietly away, asleep more often than not, or will thee arrange a final time together? Not for my grandchildren, not for me, but for thee?” Luna hung her head and looked down at her hooves, trying to stop the flow of tears. “I do not deserve such--” “Shove what you deserve,” Nova said briskly, sitting up a bit and looking at Luna sternly. “I swear, for an alicorn older than this castle, thou art quite skilled in finding the most crucial times to behave like a child.” Nova sighed as Luna closed her eyes again, looking hurt. “Thou art a skilled ruler, and a good pony, but thou art so very determined to punish thyself and deprive thyself of joy. Stop it.” Luna moved to leave but Nova grabbed one of her forelegs tight. Despite being old, the mare was strong. “If thou wouldst not do this for thyself, do it for Prim. Give her a little more time with you.” Luna stopped pulling away and fell still. After a moment she drew a handkerchief from a nearby hiding spot and dried her eyes. “I will ponder it,” she said, voice detached and quiet. “Very well,” Nova said as she let go. “Ponder it, if that is thy need. But do not deliberate over long. I shall return in ten days, and I hope to bring some crafts from the griffon lands for thee. Do not… Do not abandon me for my boldness, please.” Luna stopped, almost to the door. She then looked back to Nova. “I would never abandon thee, my daughter. Never. But in this moment, solitude is perhaps the salve we seek.” Nova went quickly up to her and embraced Luna as well as she could. “I love thee, mother.” “I love thee as well, my shining little Star,” Luna said softly, returning the embrace for a moment, before kissing her forehead, releasing her, and going to her own chambers. Though when Luna reached the black wood doors, she hesitated. Her guards had opened them for her, but she did not feel comfortable entering her own rooms. Instead, she turned and looked back towards Prim’s chambers, which lay on the opposite side of the castle. She knew her guards stood there, waiting patiently, waiting for an order or a request. But there was nothing for her to say. Slowly, uncertainly, she turned and began the long walk. Her guards closed her doors behind her, and soon she was standing outside Prim’s chambers. She knocked, just as she did every time she visited. There was no answer, of course. These days Prim was under such a colossal dose of herbal medicines and magic designed to stave off the minor infections and insidious deteriorations that were killing her, that she was rarely awake. When she was, she was rarely aware. Even when Luna tried to visit her dreams, they were too often just endless grey or muddied fields. Prim’s mind was losing it’s long fight. She opened the door, uninvited. Her view was, she imagined, different than Prim’s own perspective of the room. She remembered it’s many iterations, after all, while Prim had lost those memories. It had once been the barracks of the day guard, but shortly after the two guards were combined, they had needed new housing. A new hall had been built in the space between the two gardens behind the castle, leaving the two barracks rooms inside the castle empty. This room had then served as quarters for Prince Spring’s family, then for the Prince himself when his daughter took the throne, and then Princess Spring’s spare room until Prim had needed it. It was one of the rooms that had been largely rebuilt after the attack, and so it was slightly different from the older portions of the castle. Slightly newer stone, and slightly stronger floors. The bed had once been Luna’s bed, until she’d gotten a new one and forced Prim to take it. The night stand held its own series of stories. The herbal remedies were crafted to counter every physical ailment that an old unicorn could face, and even from the door Luna could smell it’s strong vapor. They’d been made by the granddaughter of Svelte Dressage, as her family line had continued their shamanistic practices, though the granddaughter was not mayor, and lived out in the forest with some of her relatives. The book of spells and accompanying container of powdered silver was a dangerous last ditch attempt at rebuffing the mental degradation that had been progressing steadily through Prim’s mind. She could see even at a distance the blue tint to Prim’s skin, caused by the silver seeping into her blood. There were no good options left, and Luna was finally being shaken from her mindless search for any method of dragging the beat of Prim’s heart on for a little longer. She closed the door and strode up to the side of the bed. She realized the journal was still back in her room, but it did not matter, she’d memorized every word. Every day and every sentence that seemed to prompt a chuckle or frown from her sweet Rose. Luna spread her wings and used a fraction of her power to make herself light as a feather. She barely disturbed the covers as she stepped up onto the bed and circled around to Prim’s back. She then laid down and slid one foreleg under Prim’s head, in place of the pillow. She wondered if Prim knew how many times Luna had wanted to slip into her bed uninvited and hold her. She wondered if Prim knew how many times Luna had crept a little closer than she really should in the last few months, while Prim was barely aware. She almost hated herself for how badly she wished for Prim to have known all along. “I…” Luna couldn’t even continue the sentence, as soon as she formed it in her mind, her cheeks were again wet and her throat tightened. She pulled Prim just a little closer, pressing her feverishly warm body against Luna’s own. Luna looked down to the only pony she’d ever truly loved, and kissed her gently on the top of her head. She pressed her nose to the little unicorn’s mane and tried to understand what she was supposed to do. The hardest part was that there was no proper thing to do. There was no procedure or protocol for losing somepony so important. “I love thee,” she said, so very softly that she sounded like a young markless alicorn that she had been so long ago, looking up to Starswirl the Bearded with a sprained ankle, tears on her cheeks. “I love thee,” she admitted to herself for the first time, knowing with all her heart that it was too late. “I… remember the beauty in thy eyes…” she sang softly, her voice wavering off-key. “I remember the way thee saw through my disguise. Every time I raise the moon I know now It wasn’t until thee that I truly knew how Those lost lovers in my moonlight feel When they found that love was real. Oh Prim Rose please! I’ve known no heartbreak like this How I wish the fairytales were true That I could grant thee wings with but a kiss And make an immortal out of you. Oh Prim Rose please… Please don’t let me go. I never had a chance I should have let thee know Damn the political dance… I love thee and only thee, in a way so new to me, If only earlier I had chanced to see--” “We could have been together, thee and me.” Princess Luna’s eyes went wide and she looked down at Prim, whose eyes were slightly open, and who was wearing a wide smile, as she’d provided the final verse to the impromptu song. “I love thee as well,” Prim whispered, wiggling herself slightly to press herself tighter against Princess Luna, who spread one of her wings over Prim’s body, like a living blanket that kept her tight in Luna’s embrace. Prim did not stay conscious long, and she seemed to drift in and out of awareness. She seemed content to stay in Luna’s embrace, despite in moments not seeming sure of who or where she was. Luna took it as it was. A precious and imperfect gift, one she may not be able to ever have again. Eventually, Luna drifted off to sleep holding her beloved, and fell into dreams of her own, of chances she could have had. When she woke, Prim still slept. Luna carefully removed herself from the bed, and summoned the court apothecary. They had a brief conversation on options for a brief period of alertness, and the powerful medicines were removed, replaced with a simple white powder that would spur its user into alertness, while reducing pain. It was horrifyingly addictive, but Prim was not likely to live more than a few more days at most, so addiction was no longer a concern. The book of ancient spells was removed, and replaced with a scroll of simple spells to improve memory recall and help bolster the body. Princess Luna prepared it all, and then retreated into her room to mourn privately, knowing that she was preparing for a final day with her Prim Rose, and knowing that she could not allow for any of the court or public to witness the immense pain she was feeling. Her lack of emotion was the stuff of legend, and truly she knew no way to address her sudden grief, besides to hide away and weep.