//------------------------------//
// Returning 
// Story: Crystal Note III What used to be home 
// by TalkingToMyself 
//------------------------------//

The train made its way through the empty tundra far in the north of Equestria. The last settlement had been passed about three hours ago and the landscape had completely changed. There were no trees growing outside anymore, just short and stubby grass could be seen with the occasional shrubbery in between. It's gotten colder with each hour, even inside the train. Outside, more and more patches of ice and snow passed by, remains of the last snowstorm that had delayed the train earlier. In the distance some mountains slowly came into view, the last natural barrier between the Crystal Empire and the remain of Equestria. It would take many more hours before the train would reach the Empire that had just been rediscovered.


Inside the train there were only few ponies. In the front car most seats were filled with members of the Canterlot guard who had been chosen to assist the Crystal Empire's own guard. The other five cars were almost empty, every pony sat by themselves and most of them even sleeping. Most of them seemed to be some officials on a business trip, one of them wore the official sign of the Equestrian trading association.


No pony noticed the grey coated mare with the blue bandana in the back of the middle cart. She'd barely moved since she had entered the train in Canterlot and found herself a secluded seat. She just sat there and stared outside the window. The night was setting in and so far up north, darkness quickly swallowed the lands outside. The mare didn't care too much about it, she had stopped seeing the landscape hours ago and lost herself in thoughts. Her expression seemed neutral but if anypony would look closer, they would notice the tension in her entire body and the nervous flick of her tail. Her turquoise eyes stared into the night.


The mare startled when she suddenly felt a hoof on her shoulder. She looked up and blinked a couple of times, her eyes only slowly adjusting to the darkness around her. A light blue earth pony with a dark mane stood before her. She recognized her as the train hostess who had checked on her earlier and in the soft light of the lantern she carried, she noticed her sheepish smile. The train hostess explained that they wouldn't arrive anytime soon. Because of the storm and the darkness, the conductor had to lower the speed and hoped they would reach the Crystal Empire by sunrise.
The train hostess apologized for the inconvenience and offered her a pillow and a blanket so she could get some sleep at least. The grey mare looked around and saw that the other few ponies in the car were already sleeping. She nodded and a few strands of her yellow mane spilled out from the blue bandana she wore.
The blue earth pony just smiled and handed her the blanket and pillow and told her she'd be in the front if she needed anything. The mare nodded again and smiled gratefully as she wrapped the warm blanket around herself. When the train hostess left with her lantern, the mare curled up a little more comfortably on her seat but went back to staring out of the window.


She sighed as sleep wouldn't come to her even an hour later. At least this train was quiet and empty, the one that had brought her from Ponyville to Canterlot had been so crowded and she got the feeling that everypony was staring at her. All the noises and the many voices around her and so little space. It had been such a relief when she finally got out again and felt fresh air on her face. She still felt trapped even in this almost empty car, but she'd gotten almost used to it by now. She wasn't sure if she should be annoyed to be locked in here for a few hours longer or happy for the delay.


In Canterlot, the train to the Crystal Empire already stood there when she found the right track. She had taken a seat on a bench in front of it and ended up just staring at it. A few ponies glanced at her as they climbed in, but the train wouldn't leave for another twenty minutes so they didn't really bother.
It had taken fifteen more minutes and two near running-away before she found the courage to climb in herself. In the end, the idea of having to wait another week for the next train to the Empire had been too troublesome. Another week of listening to Applejack and Twilight trying to convince her. Probably even Fluttershy and Rarity this time as well. Also she already bought the ticket and wouldn't have the bits for a new one. 
She just had to do this now, she knew she'd never forgive herself if she endangered these friendships by being a coward.


-*-


Another hour had passed and still no sleep. The mare sighed and hopped down from her seat to stretch a little. She gave a longing look at her saddlebags but the shook her head. Now wasn't the right time nor place.
Instead, she just picked them up and started wandering through the silent car towards the front of the train. She tried to be as quiet as she could, but in the noise of the running train the sound of her hooves made no difference. She passed a few more sleeping ponies and then noticed a light ahead. At the front of the first car, right behind the engine, she saw the train hostess standing in the light of her lantern. She sipped from a cup in her hooves and stared out of the window, but then she noticed the mare and waved her over. 


The grey mare stepped through a narrow passage and found herself in some kind of staff room, probably the part of the train where the conductors and train hostesses passed their time. The blue mare closed the door behind her and the loud noise of the engine was blocked out mostly. She smiled and prepared another cup of steaming beverage. She took a whiff and recognized the scent of coffee. She thanked the train hostess and took a careful sip. As the hot drink slipped down her throat, she realized how cold she felt. She shivered but the other mare just laughed and offered her another blanket before she sat down on a small table. Another thankful mumble and she took the seat opposite of her, taking small sips of her coffee and feeling the stimulating effects already.


The train hostess just kept smiling and asked
"Can't fall asleep, huh? First time on a train for you?"
She blushed softly and shook her head. She answered in her quiet and timid voice
"Not the first time... but the first time for so long."
The other mare nodded and gave a sympathetic smile
"It's really been long with the delays and then the storm. Even gets me antsy. Next time, take a book or a friend with you. Distraction helps."
The grey mare opened one of her saddlebags and pulled out two slightly battered cupcakes with a light blue frosting. Silently she offered one to the mare opposite of her and soon both nibbled on their treat between sips of coffee.
"Wow, this is good. Did you get those in Canterlot?"
She shook her head
"Ponyville."
"Oh, there's that one shop! Sugarcorner or something. They make an awesome hot chocolate."
The mare giggled and shook her head softly again and replied softly
"Sugarcube Corner is the best place for cupcakes, but the best hot chocolate you'll get at Bon Bon's sweet shop. Just don't let the Cake family know I said that."
Both ponies giggled and soon the train hostess told stories of places she'd seen and ponies she met on the trains. The grey mare smiled and listened quietly, but the blue earth pony didn't seem to mind. She kept talking on and on until the first rays of sun illuminated the sky.


The blue pony noticed the light and looked outside, checking the landmarks. She grinned and took her passenger's hoof and pulled her out the room to the front of the train towards the engine. The noise grew again and through the half open window, a hefty breeze blew through their manes. The mare pulled her towards the window and shouted into her ear over the noise
"You have to see this!"
The train passed a mountain right now so except for a wall of stone, there was not much to see. But the moment her view was clear again, her eyes opened wide and her jaw dropped down.


In a distance before her, the Crystal Empire rose up from the bald tundra ground. Peaks of crystal reached into the sky and caught the sunlight on their glittery surface. Each of them shined in a different colour and all the colours blended together as the sun rose higher. She could make out buildings and houses by now, each of them familiar but she was sure she had never seen them before, not like this. 
An old memory bubbled up from the depth of her mind, the same city with darker and dull colours, black crystals scattered all over like an infectious rash. The memory was evaporated by the bright and beautiful colours, by the sparkling lights and glittering hue. The mare just stared, not finding enough words to describe what she saw.


Crystal Note felt something inside her she had never felt before. A gentle tug on her soul, like something slipping into the right place again. She felt like she had found something she never even knew she missed. But with each moment she came closer to it, she felt more and more right about it. She felt like she belonged here. Her smile grew as she lost a tension inside her she never even noticed until now. She felt something drawing her closer, something familiar she knew she'd never felt before, but she wasn't worried. It felt nice and inviting, welcoming her and accepting her. A tear ran down her cheek and a wide smile appeared on her face when she finally understood: She was coming home.


Like a wave of water running down her body, the grey colour of her coat changed to a silvery-white. In the light of the morning sun, her body seemed to sparkle all over, even the strands of yellow mane that had escaped her bandana.
She turned around and saw her new friend staring intensely at her. She just kept smiling the happy smile and her turquoise eyes sparkled with joy
"Thank you for showing me this. I've never seen anything more beautiful."


-*-


The two new friends shared a quick hug and promised to write each other, then Crystal Note left the station. It was still very early in the morning and the only other ponies around were the one's from the same train as herself, most of them heading straight toward the castle in the centre of the city.
She saw a few crystal ponies making their way in the same direction pulling carts with goods. She smiled as she remembered the large market that had been set up on the grand plaza in front of the castle every day. Apparently the new princess kept on with this tradition. Her smile faded a little as she remembered running between the stands with other fillies. The others had been scolded by the adults for disturbing the market, but nopony ever accused her. They had just stared at her openly and watched her warily or scared.


Crystal Note sighed and turned around. She slowly walked down a street that lead away from the centre and towards the western outskirts of the city. She looked around and found some familiar looking buildings, then she fell into an easy trot once she remembered the way.
She reached her destination a few minutes later. As expected, she didn't see anypony around as she walked through the iron cemetery gate. Unlike in Canterlot where ponies visited their passed family and friends regularly and planted flowers on their graves, in the Crystal Empire all families used to have a place in their homes dedicated for memories of the ones they lost. The only time they would visit the actual grave was on the evening of the first spring moon, when the last winter storms had passed. Sometimes a pony would visit the grave of a really close friend on their day of death, but otherwise the cemetery remained abandoned.


Crystal Note walked through the rows of similar tombstones with her head hung low in respect for those who rested here. There were no decorations on any of the graves and the epigraph on the tombstones only stated a name and two dates. She remembered how somepony had explained it to her the first time she had come here
"In death, we are all the same. No matter what a pony did in their life, when they rest it's not important anymore. What is important are the ponies they met in life and the memories they created together, good or bad. We don't honour the spots where we burry our loved ones, but we will always keep our memories of them in our hearts and cherish them. As long as we have those memories, they'll always be in our hearts as well."


She sighed and slowed down until she reached two unremarkable graves in the middle of a row. They looked just like the others around them, but once Crystal Note was close enough to read the names, her heart clenched in her chest and she could feel the changing again. Her head hung low, her shoulders slumped and her ears flopped down as she made the final steps. As always when she turned dull and grey, the flood of sadness and grief drowned out all other thoughts and all reason in her mind. She felt tears forming in her eyes. During the train ride she had forced them back down every time, but now she knew she didn't have the strength anymore. She felt the first tear run down her cheek and just slumped on the ground in front of the graves. She read those names again before her vision was blurred, then she couldn't hold back any longer. Sat on the ground in the abandoned cemetery, Crystal Note stopped fighting and wept like a lost filly.



-*-


She didn't know how much time had passed when her tears ran dry and the crying stopped. She slowly stood up again, still sniffling. She stepped closer to the two graves and slowly started to pull out the weeds and tiny roots that had started to grow on them. She worked slowly with her hooves and her mouth, but eventually she pulled out some gardening tools from her saddlebags to take care of one of the bigger roots. As she did, she noticed a small bag in between the tools. A faint smile came to her when she saw a filly face drawn on it with a red crayon. Apple Bloom must have snuck it in before she left. She opened the bag and found flower seeds inside.


She hesitated for a moment, but then took the bag in her mouth and sprinkled some of the seeds on both graves, then carefully covered them with soil. She would most likely not be around to water them, but at least a few would sprout. Maybe she was breaking tradition, but it felt right to do this. A few flowers wouldn't make the memories in her heart go away.


Crystal Note spent another few minutes in silence, her eyes closed and her head bowed down, before she gathered her things. With a last sad look on the two tombstones, she turned around and headed towards the centre of the cemetery. Her posture was still slumped but her eyes had regained some of their light again. 


One last thing to do, she walked up to the statue in the middle of the tombstones. The statue showed four ponies made out of crystal standing on a pedestal made of marble from Canterlot. One of them had wings, another carried a horn on its head, the other two seemed to be earth ponies but one of them had large emeralds as eyes. The ponies look towards east and the rising sun. An inscription on the pedestal dedicated this statue to all ponies of all tribes who lost their lives during King Sombra's rule and the war between nations, especially the crystal ponies who had to suffer far more than anypony else.


This statue had been one of the first things the new princess had done for her Empire. Twilight had shown her a picture and they'd talked about it a couple of times. Now that she saw the statue, Crystal Note felt her eyes going moist again. She reached into her saddlebag once more to reveal the last gift she had brought from Ponyville. It was a large and thick white candle she had bought with Rarity. It was enchanted with unicorn magic so it wouldn't be blown out by wind or rain and could burn for at least five moons.


This was, again, an old Canterlot tradition. This time however, Crystal Note didn't hesitate as much since she saw a similar candle already at the base of the pedestal. The candle was almost burnt down and she saw it had been pink instead of white. She stepped closer and lit her own candle on its flame, then carefully set it up at the base of the statue. While she did that, she started to hum softly. When the candle stood safely, she took three steps back and closed her eyes. With a voice as soft as the breeze around her, she started to sing


Just like the stars that shine above
May this small flame light up your path
To guide you home, safe and secure
Into the sacred fields of green.


And like the flame in darkest night
your light shines on, inside my heart
So I may never walk astray
Guided by you through night and day.


Crystal Note opened her eyes again and sighed. She didn't know if she remembered the words of the old song correctly, she'd only heard it once when she was a tiny filly. But they felt right in her heart so she decided to sing them anyways, for every pony who couldn't do so anymore.


She was startled when she heard a ruffling sound behind her. She turned her head and saw a tall pony with a pink coat bow down before the statue. The pony had spread out her wings with the purple tips as a sign of respect. Her horn glowed softly as she levitated a pink candle with the symbol of the royal family next to her head.
The Crystal Princess made the few steps until she stood next to Crystal Note who just kept staring lost for words. The pink candle floated to the white one, then was lit and placed next to it. The Crystal Princess closes her eyes and whispered a few words similar to the ones from the song.
Then she turned around and her violet eyes met the gem shaped ones.


At this point, Crystal Note snapped out of her trance and was about to throw herself flat on the ground before the princess, but she was stopped by the soft touch of a hoof on her shoulder
"Please don't. Not here."
Crystal Note swallowed nervously and kept her eyes on the ground as she whispered in a shaky voice
"Apologies, you Highness. Please forgive my insolent behaviour in your presence."


-*- 


Cadance couldn't help but giggle at those words which grew into a kind laugh when she saw the confusion in the pony's expression.
She gently put her hoof on the mare's shoulder again and smiled
"Do you know what happens when a member of my staff starts talking to me like this?"
The mare before her grew more nervous again and shook her head. Cadance just giggled again and spoke softly
"They get a cup of tea and a cookie and then they have to listen to me for half an hour while I explain to them how silly all these stiff words are."
The confusion came back even stronger than before and so did the laughter. With a silly wink Cadance continued
"Sadly I don't have any cookies with me, so I must ask you to follow me back to the palace where I can fulfil my royal duties."
For the last words she used her faux regal voice and finally, the mare smiled as well. She bowed her head and mumbled in a timid voice
"As you wish, Princess Cadance."
Cadance smiled but then remembered where she was. She bowed deeply before the statue once more before she turned around and left the cemetery with the crystal pony by her side. Once they had passed the gate again, both ponies relaxed a little and Cadance smiled softly
"So Twilight told you about me I guess?"
The mare blushed and nodded. At first it seemed she wanted to remain silent but then she whispered
"She told me about what happened after the Empire reappeared. Um, did Princess Twilight tell you about me as well?"


Cadance nodded slowly
"She did, Crystal Note. She told me you spent some time in Ponyville and that you had problems remembering about the things that happened before the curse and right after. She didn't mention anything of your visit, though."


Cadance blinked when the crystal mare suddenly sighed relieved but didn't think too much about it when Crystal Note explained
"I didn't tell her that I was coming here, I didn't want her to go out of her way and arrange things for me. And... I needed to do this alone."
Cadance nodded and waited for a moment before she asked in a very gentle voice
"Those graves you were attending to... those ponies were very close to you, right?"
She wasn't surprised to see the light grey coat of the pony next to her go darker, being the Princess of Love allowed her to know exactly how Crystal Note felt as she spoke of the ones she lost
"They were the most important ponies in my life. They taught me everything I know and they cared for me. Only one other pony was ever as close to me as they were."
Cadance extended her wing and gently covered the pony's back with it, then squeezed softly. Her own voice was heavy with emotion
"It is terrible to lose your parents, especially when it happens far too soon."
Crystal Note nodded and sobbed softly.
Both ponies fell silent as they slowly made their way back into the city, quietly sharing their pain.


They made their way through the city and soon ran into other ponies. Most of the citizens had already gotten used to their new princess taking walks down the streets so except for a few ponies bowing and waving, nothing really happened.
Crystal Note luckily didn't notice to much of the attention and was busy looking at the buildings and streets as she walked next to Cadance. At first she seemed only curious, but the princess noticed her expression changing more and more to confusion and then to worry. Cadance also didn't like that the mare hadn't changed back into her normal appearance yet.


She asked in a soft voice so only Crystal Note could hear
"Is something troubling you?"
The mare looked up at the princess and shook her head with a blush on her face. Cadance sighed and called out
"Crystal Note. You are a terrible liar."
The crystal mare lowered her head. She remained silent for a few more moments, then whispered
"It feels so wrong. Everything. There's houses in places they shouldn't be and others are missing. There's streets I recognize but the buildings don't match. And I didn't recognize a single pony yet."
She looked up at Cadance again and as the former foal sitter of Twilight Sparkle, Cadance recognized the signs of a panic attack when she saw one.
"What if there's something really wrong with me? Maybe I'm sick? It might be infectious or dangerous for other ponies as well. What if I'm really a bad pony and I just can't remember and when I do I'll turn bad again? Oh, should have never come here, I should have..."
"Crystal Note!"
Cadance's voice forced the pony to focus back on her instead of those thoughts. She gave the pony a caring smile and put all of her compassion into her next words
"You are not a danger to anypony. And you're not a bad pony. No pony with a bad heart could sing a song like you did or would cry over their parents grave like you have."
The mare just stared up at the alicorn for a few moments, then nodded shyly but with a soft smile. Cadance gently pulled her into an embrace and held her. In her hooves, all pent up tension seemed to flow out of the crystal mare and when Cadance released her again, she smiled softly at the now silvery-white pony.


Crystal Note have her a grateful smile and thanked her silently, then she sat up and looked around again. Cadance tilted her head as the turquoise eyes went wide
"I remember this place. I grew up nearby."
Cadance smiled and stood up again. She thought back to the first time she arrived in the Crystal Empire a couple of months ago. Back then, most of the crystal ponies had suffered from memory loss as well. Some memories came back during the festivities of the crystal fair, though most of them only once the crystal heart had been reactivated.
Crystal Note hadn't been in the Empire during these events, but like her other subjects, she remembered when she let happiness, love and light into her heart. 
Now sure she could help her lost subject, she nodded
"Let's go see your home then. Maybe we'll find something that helps you remember more."
Crystal Note nodded eagerly and headed into an empty street.


-*-


A few minutes later, the princess and her subject stood before some houses in the back end of an abandoned alleyway. The houses were in a desolate state and it was clear no pony had been here in years.
Crystal Note sat on her haunches and stared at one house in particular. Cadance could see tears forming in her eyes again, so she just sat next to her and silently offered her support. The crystal pony leaned against the taller alicorn and shivered, her coat lost some of its sparkle. Cadance softly wrapped one of her wings around her and whispered
"Maybe your memory is fooling you and this isn't the right place."
Crystal Note quickly shook her head
"It's the right place. I know it. It's their house."


Cadance blinked when she said 'their house' instead of 'our house' but decided to let it pass for now. Instead she asked
"You mentioned a third pony you were close to. Did this pony live here as well?"
The crystal pony nodded again with conviction
"She did. We lived next to each other. I spent every minute with Pinky when we were fillies."
The princess blinked and looked up at the mention of a name
"Are you sure she was called Pinky?"
In her mind, she went through the names of her subjects she had met so far, but she had to admit the only pony she knew with that name lived in Ponyville.
Crystal Note frowned and rubbed her temple with a hoof
"No... it was her nickname. She had a pink mane. Her real name was... it's... Rose Quartz.."
"And her cutie mark is a pink crystallized rose?"
The crystal mare looked up at the princess with eyes as big as saucers
"That's right. How do you know this?"
Cadance smiled and stood up again to look at the pony next to her
"I know her because she's one of my personal attendants in the palace. And a trusted advisor since the first day I met her."
The crystal pony stared and her jaw dropped down. The princess just giggled and started walking towards the palace again
"Come on, I'll introduce you."