Chapter 8: Sunny Flare’s Day In… Class
“Sunny Flare?”
“Yes Twilight?”
“Where are we going?” I feel a wide grin cross my face as I think about the answer. Little Miss Book Horse wants to follow me around all day? Fine. Let’s see her do just that.
“Oh, don’t worry. You like school, right?”
Her eyes widen excitedly. “I LOVE school! Learning is the best! So many books!”
Oh my god she’s five. “Well, we’re going to class. I take it every Friday as part of my on-the-job training.”
She claps her hooves. “Yay! Finally, something I LIKE!”
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“IRON WILL SEES WE HAVE SOME NEW MAGGOTS IN CLASS TODAY!”
I can almost hear Princess Twilight’s pupils shrink as she stares at the big, beefy, muscular… the minotaur. Right. My martial arts instructor, Iron Will.
“WHAT IS YOUR NAME, MAGGOT?!”
Twilight shrinks in on herself, our instructors raw imposing physique and overbearingly loud personality seemingly erasing the fact that she’s a Princess right out of her head. Or maybe it’s just her ingrained response to teachers everywhere. Either way I’m trying really hard not to laugh. He’ll yell at me if I do. Oh Celestia, the yelling…
“Um… Twilight Sparkle?” she says in a small voice.
Iron Will scoffs. “SPARKLE?! THAT’S A SISSY NAME! FROM NOW ON YOUR NAME IS… Sunny Flare help me out here,” he adds, beckoning me with a hand to come up with an answer.
I think for a second. “Starbomb?”
“STARBOMB! FROM NOW ON YOUR NAME IS STARBOMB, IS IRON WILL CLEAR?!”
“...yes?” she squeaks.
“IRON WILL CAN’T HEAR YOU! WHEN PONIES ARE TOO QUIET IRON WILL STARTS A RIOT! WHAT IS YOUR NEW NAME?!” he bellows, inches from her face.
“Starbomb, sir!” she barks, sitting up straight.
I love this class so much.
Iron Will marches back to the front of the class, and I shamelessly stare at his glutes while he walks. Dear Celestia, just like, do me already. “ALLLLLRIGHT!” he yells to the entire class. Besides the Princess and myself, there’s a couple rows of ponies and griffons. Indigo is in the front row, stoked as always. She glances back at me in the split second Iron Will can’t see her, and we trade smiles. “IRON WILL WANTS TO SEE SOME PUSHUPS! IF YOU GOT WINGS, YOU DO WING-UPS. IF YOU GOT MAGIC, THEN TOUGH LUCK, TOOTSY! WE WORK ON MUSCLES IN THIS ROOM!”
I go about my pushups with practiced ease, noticing yet again the ridiculous pace Indigo sets for herself. Twilight, however, looks like she’s having trouble. She’s doing the wing-ups ok, but nowhere near as fast as she should. Especially since-
“STARBOMB!”
That.
“Yes, sir?!”
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”
“W-wing-ups, sir!” she pants.
“THOSE AREN’T WING-UPS! IRON WILL WANTS TO SEE YOU MOVE THE GROUND!”
He stomps away, after she increases her pace just the tiniest bit, off to scold somepony else. “Oh… oh my Celestia… he’s worse than Rainbow Dash...”
“He’s the best,” I pant, upping my pace. If Twilight catches up to me Iron Will would just yell at us both. Not that I’d mind, but Indigo would never let me hear the end of it.
“SOLAR FLARE!”
“Yes SIR!” I bark. Indigo picked my name. I’d hate it if I didn’t love it so much.
“WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! DID I SAY YOU COULD TALK?!”
“Just talking about how nice your ass is, sir!”
Twilight splutters, almost slipping on her wing. Iron Will doesn’t notice. “GOOD! IRON WILL WORKS HARD FOR THESE GLUTES!”
Oh Celestia, I know. “Sir, yes you DO, sir!”
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An hour an a half later, Twilight, Indigo and I are all resting in the locker room. Some of us more than others.
“Oh… my stars… so much… aching...” Twilight pants from the bench she’s splayed out on.
Indigo scoffs. “Pffft…. You had plenty of moxy when we were runnin’ from that fire, didn’t you?”
I raise an eyebrow. “Fire?”
“Said… I was…. Sorry...”
Indigo ignores her. “Yeah, the Princess here knocked a barrel of potassium powder into a puddle.”
I flinch. “Didn’t… didn’t you take chemistry in school?!”
“Took… alchemy… potassium… no… magical… applica… tions...” she rolls over, somehow staying on the bench, so that she’s lying on her back. Her chest heaves with the effort of her labored breathing. “So… many… laps…”
“Yeah, whatever,” Indigo says dismissively. “Speaking of laps,” she adds, smirking at me. “When are you gonna go a few rounds with Iron Will, huh?”
My eyes glaze over at the idea. “Mmm… well, as long as he’s my instructor we could get fired for that, but I’m only going to be in his class for another month, so… probably the day after I leave.”
Indigo chuckles. “Does HE know that?”
“Oh, he’ll pick up on it REALLY quick.”
“...sexual...harassment...”
“Not if he says yes!”