It was an eerie moonlit night in Ponyville, the kind of night in which fog tended to settle into some of the lower areas. The kind of night one probably shouldn't be out and about on, at least not on their own. Yet, such was the unfortunate case for one pony, Fluttershy. True, she didn't fear the darkness and wasn't much of a scaredy cat anymore, but given the choice she would rather be safe at home than braving the night by herself. Well, at least she wasn't completely alone, she had a few of her animal friends for company, including Harry the Bear and Angel Bunny.
Suddenly, the peace and quiet was disturbed by a faint sound. Fluttershy's ears picked it up. It sounded like the rustling of leaves, as though someone or something was not far behind. But when Fluttershy spun around to look, she saw nothing. "I-is anyone there?" She called out, trying to keep her teeth from chattering. The only reply came in the form of a gust of wind.
Fluttershy turned her back to facing forward, and resumed her trot home. Picking up the pace only a little, just in case she was maybe being followed by something that wasn't friendly. Hopefully, whoever or whatever that something was, had no plans involving Fluttershy in any way, shape, or form. "Take it easy, Fluttershy. It's probably just your imagination," She thought, giving herself a mental pep talk. "Nothing's out there. Right?"
But something was indeed out there, something big and alive! Peering out from behind a bush, the figure's bright yellow eyes glowed, as it eyed its unsuspecting victim. Slowly, it left the safety of its hiding spot and began to stalk its target, teeth bared and ready for action.
In the distance, Fluttershy could spot the path leading towards her cottage, and safety. "Oh good, soon I'll be safe and sound in my home. And my imagination can stop playing tricks on me." The pegasus thought to herself, already looking forward to curling up on the sofa in a thick wool blanket, sipping hot cocoa with her animal friends.
The creature following her had other plans! It suddenly sprang forward, revealing itself as a timberwolf, a fully grown one at that! Sure, it was by itself, but its razor sharp teeth, glowing eyes, and bad breath were enough to make it quite the threat! It let out a great big roar, and Fluttershy nearly jumped into Harry's waiting arms in fright! Naturally, she opted for a much better option, run!
Fluttershy bolted, desperately trying to get to her cottage before the timberwolf could catch her! But it seemed that no matter how hard she ran, the timberwolf easily kept pace with her! Then the worst possible thing happened! In her haste to flee, Fluttershy had forgotten to pay attention to where she was going, and she tripped over a broken off tree branch that was laying in the road! Stumbling but for a moment, Fluttershy picked herself up and found herself snout to snout with the timberwolf!
"P-please d-don't e-eat me, M-Mr. T-timberwolf, sir!" Fluttershy nervously stammered. "W-whatever you w-want f-from me, j-just l-leave me in one piece."
The timberwolf didn't respond, it just growled and sharpened its claws! It then lunged straight for Fluttershy!
In a state of panic, Fluttershy did the only thing she could of think! She reared back a hoof, and socked the timberwolf right on the muzzle!
That got results alright, but not the ones Fluttershy could've expected. The timberwolf reared back, putting a paw to its snout. Then suddenly it cried out in a loud voice! "Owie! You didn't have to be so rough!"
Fluttershy knew who that voice belonged to. "Discord?" She asked, her voice changing from frightened to angry.
The timberwolf disappeared in a flash of white light, and in its place stood none other than the master of chaos himself, Discord. He was still holding a paw to his nose, which had a clear red mark from the sight of impact. "Geez, Fluttershy. Can't you take a little joke?" Discord demanded. "My poor nose didn't deserve that!"
"That wasn't funny, Discord! In fact, that was downright nasty!" Fluttershy complained, glaring at the creature she still considered a friend even after some of the things he'd done since becoming reformed. "I was terrified for my life!"
"I know, but that's what made the whole thing funny!" Discord laughed. "Come on, where's your sense of humor? I was going to reveal myself to you right before my teeth would've actually made contact with you. It would've been the most hilarious prank, and we would've had a barrel of laughs."
Fluttershy only continued to glare at Discord, as she trotted back up to the path to her cottage. "I didn't think it was so 'hilarious' Discord. Friends don't do that to other friends."
"But I was just trying to have a little fun. It was a harmless prank, I swear. You were in no real danger." Discord innocently pleaded.
Fluttershy just sighed, putting a hoof to her forehead. "Look, it's late and I'm in no mood to argue about it, Discord."
"Neither am I, and I like a good argument." Discord commented, as he briefly split into two versions of himself. One was red and the other was blue, both were shouting unintelligable words at each other.
"But," Fluttershy added, as she approached her cottage door. "I am going to tell the girls about this. They've been complaining to me for a few days now that you've been pranking them without rhyme or reason, and that it's getting out of control."
"Out of control?! Do you even know who it is you're talking to?!" Discord remarked. "What's life without a little chaos now and then?!"
"There's such a thing as too much chaos, Discord! And perhaps it's time we all had a talk about where to draw that line," Fluttershy cautioned. "This is serious, I can't stick up for you anymore, Discord."
"But-but..." Discord stammered.
"We'll discuss this tomorrow, Discord. In the meantime, you'd better not go around pranking other ponies like you just did," Fluttershy warned. "They might react with far less restraint than I did." And with that, she closed her cottage door in Discord's face.
"Geez. I swear I'll never understand these ponies," Discord thought to himself. "All I want is to have a little fun.
Surely, a few pranks here and there isn't doing anything wrong, right?"
Just as Fluttershy had promised, the very next day Discord was called over to Twilight's castle. And all seven mares were there, each of them registering clear frowns of disapproval.
"Fluttershy told us about what happened last night, Discord," Twilight began, hooves folded across her chest. "And we're not happy about that, not at all."
"It's one thing to prank somepony in harmless fun. It's another thing entirely to do stuff like go around posing as a timberwolf, and making ponies think you're gonna eat them. Even Gilda never went that far with some of her harsher pranks." Rainbow Dash added.
"Quite frankly, prankin' Fluttershy like that was the last straw," Applejack remarked, pounding her hooves on the table. "Ya've been runnin' around, prankin' all of us for the past few weeks. It's gettin' out of hoof!"
With a nod, Starlight commented. "And some of your pranks were pretty mean. Like that trick you pulled with the scrolls that made them come to life. You made me thought I'd summoned a ghost or something."
"Oh lighten up, you've got no sense of humor," Discord retorted. "I was going easy on you that time."
Pinkie Pie's look shifted from angry, to worried. "Look, Discord, I get you wanna have a little fun with life. Trust me, I know what that feels like. But there are other ways to do that." She cautioned.
"Pinkie's right, Discord," Twilight agreed as she moved to sit down in her chair. "Why don't you just take a break from pranking for a little bit? That way..." But what Twilight wanted to say next was cut off, for as she sat down in her chair there came an audible fart sound. No one said a word, but Discord barely managed to keep himself from chuckling.
Starlight quickly came over, and used her magic to remove a deflated whoopie cushion. "A whoopie cushion? Really?" She remarked, glaring at Discord. "How amateurish can you get?!"
"Pah! You ponies have no sense of humor! I doubt you'd know a good prank if it bit you on the tail!" Discord snorted. "You gotta have respect for the classics, whoopie cushions, joy buzzers, squirting flowers, the whole nine years. First you get mad with me for going all out with my pranks, and now you're saying I'm too much of amateur because I use stuff like whoopie cushions?"
"The point is, your pranks are getting out of control, and we don't like it," Starlight tried to explain. "Heck, I never really liked pranks. They were the first thing I banned in 'Our Town', the last thing I needed then was unconvinced prankster exposing my secret by mistake. You know, it's times like this that make me sorely tempted to go back to my own ways, just to teach guys like you a thing or two."
"And if you ask me, I'd say you're pretty lazy with your pranking," Rarity chimed in. "Not that I've ever partaken in any such juvenile behavior, but from what Sweetie Belle tells me, pranking is an art unto itself. It's got to serve a purpose other than you doing it just to have fun at somepony else's expense."
"If you can't take the time to think about what is and isn't acceptable when it comes to prankin', then I'd say it's time you called it quits and stopped drivin' us crazy all the time!" Applejack demanded. "We've got our own problems to take care of, and not all of us have time for your pranks. If ya really want to annoy us, then why can't you do normal chaotic stuff like make it rain chocolate milk, or create self growin'/self poppin' popcorn?"
"You think I can't prank my way out of a paper bag?!" Discord snarled. "Well, I'll prove you all wrong! Just you wait, pretty soon you'll see that I'm a true pranking master, and we'll all be laughing along!" And with that, he disappeared with a snap of his talons.
"Well, that could've gone better," Twilight remarked, and sighed. "Why do I get the feeling Discord's going to do something crazy and stupid?"
"Whatever it is, I hope it won't involve me. I want nothing to do with whatever sort of pranking agenda he's got on his mind." Starlight added.
Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash just exchanged nervous glances. Though they didn't know Discord as well as Fluttershy, they knew full well the kind of trouble a determined prankster could be when they perceived themselves as being challenged. And given Discord's ego, he seemed unlikely to yield until he'd gotten his revenge.
Shortly after the meeting at Twilight's castle was adjourned, Rarity returned to Carousel Boutique. Sweetie Belle was already there, waiting for her. And Rarity led her little sister up to her workshop, as she said. "I know you're excited about the Filly Guide Cookie Drive, but I still have to do a few finishing touches on your uniform."
"Okay, just make them quick. We'll need the uniforms to pick up the boxes of cookies. And they're going to be delivered tomorrow." Sweetie Belle replied, before she and Rarity both laid eyes on Sweetie Belle's Filly Guide uniform, which rested atop a massive cake of some sort.
Rarity growled a little, but Sweetie simply opted to munch of some the cake. "Hmm. Not bad," She commented. "But where'd this giant cake from? It's not like it just magically appeared."
"Good question, Sweetie Belle," Rarity responded, and then eyed a small note that rested near the cake. "What's this? 'To Rarity: You asked for it.'"
"Asked for what? What does it mean?" Sweetie asked Rarity.
Rarity tapped a hoof against her chin, before realization suddenly struck her. "I think I know what it means," She said to her little sister. "This must be Discord's idea of a prank. He's even more of an amateur than I thought if he's gonna be this obvious about it. No doubt he's rigged some kind of bobby trap or other device to your Filly Guide uniform up there. And I suspect trying to use my magic will spring it."
"So then, how do we get it down?" Sweetie inquired. "Should I get a ladder?"
But Rarity shook her head, turning her attention away from the giant cake. "No, Sweetie Belle. The simple answer is: We don't. If Discord actually thinks I'm going to fall for something so obvious, he's got another thing coming. There's more uniforms where that one came from! After all, I always come prepared for emergencies like this!" Trotting over to her sewing machine, Rarity thought to herself. "Clearly being eons old has left Discord out of touch with the modern art of pranking. Even I would know better than to set up something so obvious. That letter was practically a dead giveaway, I'd have to be stupid to fall for such an obvious trap. Good try, Discord. But you'll have to do a lot better than that!" However, when Rarity went to her sewing machine and prepared to turn it on, it collapsed with a splat! "Huh?! What the-?!" Rarity exclaimed.
Sweetie Belle rushed over, quickly discovering that the sewing machine had been replaced with a well made cake replica. And like with the actual cake, the filly couldn't resist taking a bite. "Hmm. The sewing machine cake is actually better than the cake cake. My compliments to the chef." She commented.
Rarity, however, let out a growl. "Discord!"
"Gotcha! Ha-ha! How's that for effort?" Discord taunted from behind the second floor window.
"Very funny, Discord," Rarity remarked with a groan. "I guess I fell for an obvious bluff. But you'd better not have replaced my actual sewing machine! I need it!"
"Relax, your sewing machine should work just fine, once you find it," Discord laughed. "I could tell you where it is, but you need the exercise." And then he set off.
Rarity sighed. She didn't want to admit it, but Discord's prank had actually been rather clever. "Even Rainbow Dash's pranks are never that well thought out. Perhaps I underestimated Discord, just a little." Rarity thought to herself, then went to look for her sewing machine and hope that Discord had indeed not tampered with it. After all, he'd never actually said the uniform on top of the cake wasn't booby trapped.
That night, at Sweet Apple Acres, Apple Bloom was surprised to find her sister's bedroom completely covered with pans and bells, which clanged and jingled when moved. Curious and a bit worried, Apple Bloom asked her big sister. "What's all this, Applejack? I thought you were gonna help me get ready for the Filly Guide Cookie Drive. Ya know the Crusaders and I have been lookin' forward to it."
"Uh, yeah, really sorry about that," Applejack apologized to Apple Bloom. "But the thing is, Discord's been on a prankin' spree as of late and with him you can never be too careful. I ain't takin' any chances this time!"
"Do you really think Discord is gonna try and prank you in your sleep?" Apple Bloom asked with concern. "Seems kind of unlikely to me. Discord's a little crazy, but I think even he understands the concept of a good night's sleep."
"I would hope Discord has the sense to leave me alone tonight. But just in case he tries somethin', I'm gonna be ready for him!" Applejack firmly vowed. "He's not prankin' me on my watch! Not if I have anythin' to say about it," She then clicked off the lamp and yawned a bit before she said to Apple Bloom. "Now go and get some sleep, okay? See ya in the mornin', sugarcube."
Applejack fell asleep at once, certain she'd outfoxed Discord and kept him at bay. But as she woke up the next morning, the first thing the farmpony heard, was the sound of a pig oinking. "Huh?!" Applejack exclaimed, as her eyes shot open! Sure enough, a pig was sleeping next to her in her bed! Just then, the rooster crowed. "Whoa! What the hay?!" Applejack remarked with fright, and stumbled out of bed, only to land with a splat in a thick puddle of mud in the middle of the pigpen. Only then did she hear the sound of pans clanking. "Discord!" Applejack shouted, as she slowly picked herself up.
Discord was hovering overhead on a cloud, he had seen everything. "Phew, Applejack! You need a shower, badly! You're what skunks point at when they say: 'That stinks!'" He playfully teased, and then laughed. "Still think I'm lazy, huh?! Well, what do you have to say about this?"
"Ha ha, you're a laugh riot, really," Applejack grumbled under her breath. "But don't go pullin' a stunt like that again! Do you have any idea how hard it is to wash off mud?"
"Would you like some help with that?" Discord offered. "I promise, no surprises this time."
But Applejack shook her head and insisted. "No thank you, I'm not fallin' for another one of your pranks! Just leave me alone and get outta here! And I hope ya don't plan on botherin' me, Rarity, or Rainbow Dash while we're helpin' our little sisters with their annual Filly Guide Cookie Drive."
"Suit yourself." Discord taunted, before he made the cloud he was on shoot off a lightning bolt!
Applejack jumped in surprise! "Not funny, Discord!" She said with a growl.
"Oopsie, that was a mistake, I swear." Discord said in an innocent tone of voice, before he quickly zoomed away, leaving the cloud behind. Sure enough, it began to rain.
Applejack just sighed. "Well, I guess I needed the shower. Just hope the smell washes off too." She thought to herself.
Later that same day, Discord was tanning himself near a small pond just outside of Ponyville. He hadn't heard a peep from anypony all day, but he assumed his friends were probably talking about him. No doubt sharing a few laughs at his pranks on Rarity and Applejack. "By tomorrow I'm sure my pranks will be a fond memory for them," He thought to himself. "I didn't do anything really bad, nothing that those ponies couldn't undo. Besides, Rarity got a free cake, and Applejack a free shower. Who says I can't be nice?"
Just then, Discord turned his head, and he saw two familiar ponies approaching him. They weren't Rarity and Applejack though, or even Fluttershy and Twilight, and they certainly weren't Spike and Starlight (though Discord knew Spike wasn't a pony). They were Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash, fellow pranksters as far as Discord was concerned.
Reluctantly getting up from his chair and setting down his tanning mirror, Discord greeted the two mares as they trotted up to him. "My my, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash. What a pleasant surprise." He cheerfully greeted.
"I wish we could say the feeling's mutual, Discord. But we can't." Rainbow Dash glumly replied.
"Oh, and whyever not?" Discord innocently asked. "If this is about my pranking, I'll have you know I haven't pranked anypony since this morning."
"Unfortunately, that's what we came to talk to you about, Discord," Pinkie Pie commented, gulping a bit. "Apparently you've been causing mischief all over Ponyville for the past several days, and you pranking our friends was just the latest in an ongoing spree. Ponies are starting to say things about you."
"Oh goody!" Discord eagerly exclaimed. "I'm all aglow with the praise I'm no doubt getting!" And his entire body lit up like a Hearth's Warming Tree.
But Pinkie and Rainbow exchanged looks, before they shook their heads. Rainbow was the first to explain. "It's not very good. They're wishing you'd just stop."
"Stop?! Now?! And they say I'm the crazy one!" Discord retorted, feeling quite hurt at the suggestion. "So maybe I had a bit too much fun with those ponies. So what? It's not like I did anything they couldn't undo. If anything, so far I've held back on them!"
"Then maybe now would be a good time to call it quits," Pinkie suggested to Discord. "Please, you've already proven your point. You're certainly no amateur when it comes to pranking ponies, and after this morning no one will deny you put a lot of effort into your practical jokes."
"Then you should be siding with me, not against me!" Discord demanded. "Or are you just mad that I'm proving myself to be as good as a prankster as the queens of pranking when it comes to Ponyville? Think maybe I might decide to expand into Canterlot and beyond?"
"Look, all we're saying is, maybe it's best to quit while you're ahead rather than push your luck," Rainbow cautioned, her tone of voice conveying just how hard it was for her to make such comments. "Take it from a pony who once milked her superhero status for more than it was worth. Nothing lasts forever. At least if you stop now, maybe in time we can put this all behind us and have a good laugh. Ponies were just starting to trust you again after what happened with Tirek two years ago, you really wanna give them reason to be afraid of you all over again?!"
Upon hearing Tirek's name be mentioned, Discord's eyes lit up like fire, and his face contorted itself into a frown. "You DARE bring up that incident in my presence?! You know full well how much I regretted it, you both stood up for me and even were willing to lie for me to keep your friend in the dark! Yet now you're trying to guilt trip me into giving up the thing that's brought me so much joy?! And all because a few ponies can't take a harmless little joke?!"
"What?! No, no, no, you've got it all wrong!" Rainbow insisted, as she and Pinkie felt themselves being backed into a corner.
"Please, Discord, you have to trust us on this one!" Pinkie firmly pleaded. "If you're gonna prank anyponies, why not prank us?! Prank the ones who can take it and will understand!"
But Discord had heard more than enough, with his feelings deeply hurt and old wounds reopened, he was in no mood for further discussion. "Just leave me alone, we're done here!" He said firmly. "If those ponies wanna fear me, I'll give them a reason to fear me! Maybe then they'll understand that I'm someone you shouldn't tick off! I may be reformed, but I'm still Discord, I'm still going to act chaotic! And I think it's time all of Ponyville was reminded of how chaotic I can really be!"
Reluctantly, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash were forced to realize that they couldn't argue with Discord. Despite their best efforts, it seemed like he was going to keep pranking for quite some time, and there was little they could do to prevent that. However, when Discord wasn't looking, Pinkie pocketed an innocent looking box of cookies and started to eat them. "Hmm, something about these Filly Guide cookies feel... different. But why?" She thought to herself, wondering if the funny taste the cookies had in her mouth was something to be concerned about, or just her mind playing tricks on her.
"I'll show them! I'll show them all what a REAL prank looks like!" Discord mentally vowed. "Maybe then they'll finally start laughing along with me, rather than telling me to stop."
The next morning, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo, along with their big sisters, were getting ready for the annual Filly Guide Cookie Drive. They'd already picked up the boxes of cookies the dat before, and thanks to canvasing the week before, they knew which Ponyville residents wanted what cookies and how much of those cookies they'd order. The weather was as it always was for this time of year, and no one had heard a peep from Discord. So it seemed like today was going to be a peaceful and quiet, uneventful day.
But it didn't quite turn out that way. Shortly before the cookie drive was slated to begin, Twilight called Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash away. She had some bad news. "Mrs. Cake just told me that Pinkie Pie's sick today, and won't be ordering any cookies," She told them. "In fact, she says we need to come over to Sugarcube Corner right away and see Pinkie's condition for herself."
"Why? Is it something serious?" Rainbow asked with concern.
"Or contagious?" Rarity added. "Because if it is, I certainly don't want to catch whatever Pinkie's caught."
"Mrs. Cake wouldn't say, though she did tell me she doesn't believe it to be contagious," Twilight explained to the three, and to the Cutie Mark Crusaders she apologized. "I'm sorry, you'll just have to postpone the start of the drive for a while. If Mrs. Cake wants us to look at Pinkie, something must be wrong. It's possible she may even need one of us to watch the twins in Pinkie's place."
"Ah, but that's not fair, we were all set to start going door to door." Scootaloo grumbled.
"Well, at least we know we don't need to worry about Pinkie Pie this time around," Apple Bloom commented, crossing Pinkie's name off the chart. "And that frees up a lot of boxes for other ponies."
"We might actually finish with some left over because of that," Sweetie Belle added, and then she confessed. "I... kind of took the liberty of ordering some extra boxes, just because we always seem to barely have enough for everypony due to Pinkie Pie. I didn't want to risk a shortage this year."
"Just sit tight, girls. Hopefully we'll be back soon," Rarity expressed in an upbeat tone. "In the meantime, stay here and keep yourselves out of trouble til we get back. Think you can manage that?"
"Yes, Rarity." All three fillies nodded.
Twilight proceeded to teleport herself and her three friends to Sugarcube Corner. Fluttershy, Starlight, and Spike were already there, as was Discord. Mrs. Cake was waiting for them, as they approached Pinkie's bedroom. "I'm not sure when this came on, but the poor dear's been sick in bed since this morning. She hasn't moved an inch." She said with concern.
"It's okay, Mrs. Cake. We'll take it from here, you worry about Sugarcube Corner and your family." Twilight advised.
"But Pinkie is part of my family as well, and has been for years." Mrs. Cake confessed.
Fluttershy put a hoof to Mrs. Cake's back. "I'm sure you've done all you can for Pinkie. But there's no need to exhaust yourself worrying nonstop about her. We're here for her now, so you just relax. Maybe wash your hooves so you don't catch what Pinkies has, just in case."
Mrs. Cake reluctantly did so, and then all of Pinkie's friends approached her bedside. They were surprised at what greeted their eyes.
Pinkie Pie was laying in bed alright, but the color seemed to have gone from her coat. She was still pink, but the luster seemed to have faded to grey. Her mane and tail, though still poofy, looked disfigured in spots. There were a few bags under her eyes, indicating a lack of sleep the night before. But the most concerning thing of all, was a smear of rainbow coloring across her lips. And beneath her bed rested an empty box of some kind.
Pinkie coughed, speaking in a raspy tone of voice as she looked at all her friends. "Oh, hey everypony, nice of you all to drop by," She spoke, pausing as another cough came on. "Sorry I'm not feeling well today, I don't really know what brought it on. I felt fine up til last night, then all of a sudden I started having this tickle in my throat that wouldn't go away. The only thing that made me feel better, was this box of cookies. But every time I ate them, my mouth turned all rainbow for some reason."
"Yes, we can see that just fine," Starlight commented, as she pulled out the box with her magic. "Do you know where this came from?"
Pinkie shook her head, coughing some more. "I just found it laying on the ground yesterday with no label. It was unopened though, so I figured it would be safe to eat them. Guess I was wrong."
Everyone in the room seemed to be concerned about Pinkie's mysterious ailment, except for Discord who seemed baffled. "No, it couldn't possibly be. I made sure to count all the boxes myself," He thought. "No way did one escape my sight. And even if it somehow did, it can't possibly be connected to Pinkie's condition. There's no way, it doesn't make sense even to me! There must be another explanation for it all, something I'll surely think of any minute now." But nothing came to that chaotic mind of his.
"So, would you like a glass of water or something?" Spike offered to Pinkie. "Or maybe we should see a doctor, just to be sure this isn't something to worry about?"
But Pinkie weakly replied. "Actually, I don't think I can even stand up..." Then without warning she grabbed Spike and shouted! "Unless you've got more cookies!"
"Gah, Pinkie!" Spike exclaimed, brushing her hoof aside in panic!
Pinkie seemed to realize at once what she did, as she fell back upon her bed and apologized. "Sorry, Spike. I don't know what came over me. It's just... all of a sudden... I found myself craving those cookies above everything else," She coughed again. "I think you're right, I think something might be wrong with me."
A sense of dread and even panic suddenly filled the room! Things were far worse than anyone had expected them to be when they entered!
Reluctantly, Twilight trotted forward and suggested. "I... think I could try something that might at least let me see into your mind, Pinkie. It's kind of risky though." She warned.
"No, Twilight..." Pinkie weakly protested. "I... think I know what's wrong with me now," All of a sudden, she sat straight up in her bed! Everyone gasped! "Something...in those cookies...changed me... I...need...COOKIES!" She bellowed at the top of her lungs, and began moaning and groaning, her eyes shrunk as she seemed unable to say anything except "COOKIES!" over and over again!
"Pinkie?! What's gotten into you?!" Rainbow Dash frantically exclaimed, but all she heard in reply was Pinkie shouting for cookies.
"Something's wrong with Pinkie, she's acting like a... a... ZOMBIE!" Spike exclaimed in fright! "Run for your lives!"
But Twilight quickly leaped into action, throwing up a protective barrier! "Everyone, stay back! I don't know what's caused this change in behavior from Pinkie Pie, but we're going to get the bottom of it! And so long as I'm standing here, I'll see to it that she doesn't go near anypony else!"
"What could've caused this behavior? That's what I want to know," Fluttershy spoke up with concern. "It can't just be a random box of cookies, could it? I mean, maybe the sugar could make you act a little crazy and crave them more, but not to this extent."
Suddenly, Discord let out an audible gulp and started to sweat. "Uh, actually. They can, or at least they could if they were these joke cookies I had specially ordered."
"Joke cookies?" Fluttershy asked with concern, raising an eyebrow. "Discord? What did you do?"
Still sweating a little, and trying not to look too guilty, Discord confessed. "This wasn't supposed to happen, I swear! It was all supposed to be a harmless prank," Then he suddenly gasped as he realized something. "Oh no, the rest of the cookies!" He disappeared in a flash of light before anyone could stop him!
Discord teleported right to the wagon holding the Filly Guide cookies, he quickly counted them all off in his head. "Good, all accounted for," Discord said to himself, before he suddenly heard the sound of munching, causing him to gasp all over again. "No! Please no!" He shouted, as he rushed towards the source of the munching.
It turned out to be none other than Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo, who were all eating cookies out of an opened box. "Oh no, you didn't! You did!" Discord cried out, his eyes widening in horror upon seeing the three fillies.
"What? We were hungry. We just ate one box for a snack." Sweetie Belle innocently replied, even as her lips were smeared with a rainbow coloring.
"You can have one if ya'd like, we ordered extra this year." Apple Bloom offered, her lips also covered with the rainbow smear.
Scootaloo licked her lips, the rainbow smear remaining no matter how much she moved her tongue. "It's funny though, they really tickle your throat. And once you eat one you can't help but want more."
"It's too late, they've already fallen victim!" Discord thought to himself, as he quickly grabbed the wagon filled with cookies and disappeared again!
"Well, that was just weird." Sweetie commented, then went back to eating the cookies.
Discord reappeared in Pinkie's bedroom at Sugarcube Corner, the wagon in tow. Quickly snatching up all but Twilight, he snapped his talons as he shouted firmly. "There's no time to explain, we've gotta get somewhere safe!"
"Somewhere safe" turned out to be Twilight's castle, or rather the library inside it! Discord barely waited for everyone to land safely on the floor, before he set the wagon in the middle of the room and started tossing a bunch of dynamite sticks and tnt barrels, along with a big red plunger! "Stay back, everypony! It's gonna blow! Plug your ears!" He shouted at the top of his lungs, and did so as he pressed down on the plunger! A gigantic explosion rocked the library, and when the dust had settled there was a huge black crater where the wagon had been.
"Discord, Twilight's gonna kill me when she see the big hole you just made!" Starlight angrily exclaimed. "I don't show up to your place and destroy your stuff, do I?!"
"And those cookies were for the Filly Guide Cookie Drive!" Applejack added, glaring at Discord. "Now, thanks to you, there's not gonna be a Cookie Drive!"
"You don't understand!" Discord hastily began. "I switched out the normal cookies for boxes of joke cookies, I had them specially ordered the day before!"
Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash all exclaimed together! "You did what?!"
"It was just supposed to be a harmless prank, I swear!" Discord insisted, waving his arms about in dramatic fashion. "But, somehow, it seems something in the joke cookies has turned everypony into mindless, cookie craving, zombieponies!"
"And you just destroyed the only clue we have to curing Pinkie Pie!" Spike remarked, putting a claw to his face. "Great thinking, Discord."
But Fluttershy spotted something out of the corner of her eye, and flew over to inspect it. Blowing on it a little, she blew off the ashes and the dust. "Actually, one box survived," She informed everyone in the library. "Maybe something on the label can tell us what's causing this."
"Great! We'd better hurry before the Cutie Mark Crusaders are infected too!" Discord exclaimed, before he put a paw to his mouth as he realized his mistake.
Unfortunately, said mistake was overheard by all present. And the big sisters of the three fillies now revealed to be potentially afflicted, glared at the chaos maker. "Discord, you'd better hope we can find a way to cure everyony, for your sake," Rainbow Dash warned. "You've royally screwed up here."
"Indeed," Rarity agreed. "I don't know how I'll explain to Mother and Father that their youngest daughter is a cookie craving zombiepony."
"I don't know if I'll even be able to believe it myself." Applejack commented, still shaken with fright and disbelief after all she'd witnessed. It was all too much for her mind to bare and process.
What followed was a long period of silence, as all seven in the castle examined the charred joke cookie box for any traces of a cure, or at the least any idea of what had caused the ponies that had eaten them to become zombies.
But minutes ticked by without anyone mentioning anything. That is, until Spike suddenly shouted out! "Hey, I think I've found something!" He called everyone's attention to some small written words printed on the bottom right corner of the box. "Starlight, magnifying glass please." Spike instructed.
Starlight lit up her horn, enveloping a magnifying glass from a lonely corner. "Here you go, Spike. Hope you've found something good." She commented, as Spike accepted the object with a claw.
"I sure have," Spike nodded. "Just listen to this: 'Warning! These cookies are not to be consumed, the rainbow coloring used for the joke is supposed to make the cookies stand out. For reasons not fully known, ponies eating these cookies have turned into addicted zombies.'"
Discord groaned, slapping a paw to his face. "You know, they really should put something like that in bold print. Who in their right mind would think to look for something down there?"
"Does it say anything about a cure, Spike?" Starlight asked the dragon, and she pleaded. "Please say yes, please say yes."
Spike moved the glass one way, then another, and then another. He even double and triple checked the printed words. Then he shook his head. "No, nothing. It mentions nothing about what happens if anyone consumes the cookies. I guess whoever wrote this warning, never believed anyone would actually eat them."
"B-but, that can't be right! It can't!" Discord replied with horror. "I never meant for any of this to happen! There's got to be someway to undo of all this! Please, Spike, there must be something you're overlooking!"
"But I've read and re-read the fine print every which way I can," Spike protested. "I've found nothing."
"Maybe try the ingredients list?" Applejack suggested. "Maybe it's like an allergic reaction, if you know what caused the allergy, you can make somethin' to counter it. Perhaps that'll work here?"
"Hold on, let me check!" Spike replied, moving the box so as to get a look at the ingredients used in the joke cookies. He scanned through, spotting the usual baking stuff like milk, eggs, and flour. Then all of a sudden he read aloud. "Poison Joke."
"Wait a minute, that must be it!" Fluttershy realized! "Poison joke must be causing this, somehow!"
"Poison joke?! I'm allergic to poison joke!" Starlight exclaimed! "And I was going to order some of those cookies! Discord, you could've given me an allergic reaction!"
"Not by intention, Starlight! I had no idea poison joke was part of these joke cookies, honest!" Discord said nervously, trying to assert his innocence. "Had I know what these cookies involved and what they did, I'd never have ordered them, let alone swapped them out for the Filly Guide cookies," Hastily changing the subject he asked. "So, does anypony know poison joke can be cured? I mean, now that we know what caused this, surely we can fix it, no?"
"Correction, you are going to fix it!" Rarity said firmly. "You caused this fine mess, so you're the one who has to clean it up."
Surprisingly, Discord made no effort to fight the decision. "I suppose I should've expected that," He said with a sigh. "Now, the cure? Is there anything we could use for a cure for this unexpected development?"
"There should be some of that herbal bath stuff down at the spa," Rarity suggested. "Aloe and Lotus keep it on hoof in case anypony ever steps in or touches poison joke. It happens surprisingly often, small wonder Zecora always wears that long cloak of hers when trotting to and from her hut for supplies."
"Well then, there's no time to lose! Just hope Aloe and Lotus aren't out of their cure." Discord said firmly, and teleported away.
Aloe and Lotus were very surprised to see Discord at the spa, especially in such an out of breath appearance. "Discord? What brings you to spa?" Aloe asked the chaos maker.
"No time to explain," Discord panted. "I need that herbal bath stuff you use for poison joke, and I need it now!"
Lotus quickly rushed off and returned shortly with a vase that seemed quite heavy. "This is all we have of cure. Why you need it, Discord?" She asked, hoping for a response.
"I need it to right a wrong I made, that is all." Discord vaguely answered, as he took the vase and then vanished.
"I hope Discord returns it, Zecora says ingredients to make cure shall not be ready for few more days." Aloe said to Lotus.
Discord quickly teleported to the last location of the CMC, relieved to see that they hadn't wandered too far from the wagon. "I hope this works!" He thought to himself, as he unscrewed the top of the vase, and hastily dumped some of its contents on the heads of the three fillies.
For a moment, nothing happened. But then suddenly, the fillies all shook their heads and the rainbow smears on their cheeks seemed to vanish. "Hey, what's the big idea, Discord?!" Scootaloo exclaimed. "Tonight's not my bath night!"
"Do you girls remember anything at all from when I was last here?" Discord asked them.
"All I can remember is eating those Filly Guide cookies and thinking they tasted funny," Sweetie Belle answered him. "Other than that, everything up until now is a blur. Why do you ask? Did we do something wrong?"
"They don't remember anything, good!" Discord realized, but knew better than to say such a thing out loud. He simply said to the fillies. "No, you did nothing wrong. But I did. I'm sorry, I inadvertently sabotaged your Filly Guide Cookie Drive."
"Wait, what?!" Apple Bloom shouted.
"No time to explain, just don't eat anymore Filly Guide cookies if you happen to find them!" Discord cautioned, before he screwed the lid back onto the vase and snapped his talons, disappearing again.
Arriving back in Pinkie's bedroom, Discord almost couldn't believe his eyes! Not only was Pinkie Pie a mindless, cooking craving zombie, but it seemed that Mrs. Cake, Mr. Cake, and even the twins Pound and Pumpkin Cake had been affected. "Should've figured Pinkie would let them have a box." Discord thought, as he saw Twilight visibly straining herself to keep her force field up.
"Hey, princess!" Discord called with a whistle. "Somepony call a cavalry?!"
"Discord?!" Twilight exclaimed!
Discord managed to push through Twilight's force field, and unscrewing the lid on his vase he carefully aimed it at the approaching wave of zombieponies, all of them chanting and moaning "Cookies! Cookies! Cookies!". "Oh, I think there's just enough left for all of them. But I've gotta time this just right!" Discord thought to himself, as he shut his eyes and threw the vase's contents towards Pinkie and the Cakes.
When at last Discord worked up the courage to open his eyes, to his great relief he saw the wide eyed faces of five ponies, who'd still had rainbow smears on their mouths just a moment or two ago. "Oh good, everything's back to normal." Discord said to himself, breathing a much needed sigh of relief.
Twilight cancelled her force field just seconds later, nearly collapsing from exhaustion. "Well, that was certainly an experience I could live without," She said to herself, as she wiped the sweat from her brows. "Just what in the name of Celestia happened?"
"Yeah, that's what I'd like to know," Pinkie demanded. "One moment I find myself fighting a strange craving for cookies, and the next I'm standing in the middle of my room with no memory of what happened. Did I somehow sleeptrot again even though it's the middle of the day?"
All eyes fell upon on the individual holding the now empty vase that had previously contained the cure for poison joke. Gulping, Discord suddenly felt like a bug under a microscope. In this case, a really small bug under a really big microscope. But he could see no way out. Fleeing now would only make him seem further guilty. Reluctantly, Discord knew the time had come to fess up. "Well, it all began with my 'brilliant' idea to pull off a prank using the Filly Guide Cookie Drive." He narrated, as he began his confession of the day's events and his role in them.
Later that same day, in the city of Canterlot, Princess Celestia was surprised to suddenly receive a letter. Or rather, a friendship report. She hadn't gotten one of those in a very long time. Curiously, she unfolded it and read the report, which went something like this:
Dear Princess Celestia,
I hope I've got this right, this is the first time I've had to truly write any kind of letter, let alone a friendship report telling you what I learned today.
Well, I sure learned a powerful lesson today, even if I'm not entirely sure you can call it a 'friendship lesson'. Then again,
I've heard that ponies write to you all the time for the silliest of reasons. So I guess this letter could count.
Anyway, the lesson I learned (and boy is it a doozy of a lesson) is that with pranking there comes a responsibility to ensure that you think things through. A prank is only fun if everyone's laughing at it before long, and some pranks are funny if done in good nature and without meaning harm.
But other pranks, intentionally or not, are bad. If they cause others to get hurt, or feel hurt, then your prank just comes across as mean and unfunny, and no one will laugh along with it.
Most importantly, I've learned that while friends can prank friends, it's usually best not to drag others into your pranking sprees or wars. If you're mad with what somepony says or does, take it up with them and leave others out of it. Otherwise, you only end up making those who might have previously supported you, angry with you. And nothing can ruin friendships faster than anger caused by misunderstanding.
Your 'fateful' subject,
Discord, Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony.
P.S. I saved a little something special for you at the end of this letter, and neither Twilight or Spike know about it. Bet you want to know what it is? Well, unfold the letter and find out, if you dare!
Princess Celestia did so, only to end up getting a cream pie to her face, courtesy of a spring! But rather than get upset or furious, the sun princess only giggled and licked traces of the pie off her face. "You sly dog, Discord," She thought to herself, trying to control her laughter. "You caught me off guard. I see that even after all these years, you haven't lost your sense of humor. And it's nice to see you're learning how to use it for all the right reasons."