//------------------------------// // Prologue: Delivered One Morning // Story: Star Wars: Rogue Pun // by Barrobroadcaster //------------------------------// Canterlot Pony Joe's Diner 8:28 a.m. "Top ya off, pal?" "Absolutely, thanks." "Don't mention it," Joe said, pouring him a fresh cup of coffee all the way to the brim. "Anything for you, Phil." Phil grinned, made sure not to smile too wide. He knew Pony Joe meant what he said literally, disguising the meaning in the simplicity of a kind gesture. That kind of appreciation was nice to have, but tended to draw eyes if it lingered for too long. Both Pony Joe and Phil knew it was best if Phil wasn't noticed by many. Phil, or Alliance Intelligence Lieutenant Phillip Hadley, was the Canterlot contact for the Rebel Alliance. His job mostly consisted of keeping an eye on things and making reports back to Sigma Base, watching the Empire's activities in the city closely. It wasn't very exciting. Intelligence operatives usually intervened only when intelligence could be gained, which was rare and considered risky. But, when the Empire landed on Equestria and established itself in Canterlot, Phil made a point of looking out for the citizens. When the Empire classified certain types of dough and frosting as "potential hazardous vectors," Pony Joe's business was threatened. Agent Hadley made a good impression with Joe and the local bakers of Canterlot when the Imperial edict was mysteriously altered and no longer applied to Equestrian goods. The odd exemption was just bizarre enough to make local officials believe it had been added last-second by a quirky moff or governor, and so enforced it to the letter. Diners and bakeries stayed open and from then on, most store owners were more than happy to give the agent responsible a free drink. He sipped his coffee and read his copy of the The Canterlot Chronicler. Part of being a spy was keeping up with current events. A few dignitaries were visiting from the Buffalo League, a flower shop was having an arrangement contest, the city's Imperial garrison commander was giving a seminar on vigilance. Not much going on, but that in itself presented its own opportunities. An article that did catch his eye was a new store opening in town- a new location of the Bumani Exchange Corporation. They were a front for a crime syndicate, meaning it might be worth investigating. More ponies arrived, a few aliens like himself mixed in with the crowd. Joe divided his time between baking and serving the counter where Phil was, a recently-purchased serving droid waited tables and booths. A brown pegasus delivery pony entered carrying a mailbag. "Hey, Joe! Busy day, eh?" "Busy? Buddy, we aren't even in season yet!" Joe said, shouting over his shoulder and his patrons. "This is just Tuesday morning! Come back during the Summer Sun Celebration, see the kind of crowd that packs in then." "I'll have to see that myself, heh heh." Phil was hit in the back of the head by the mailbag as the pegasus flew over, nearly spilling his coffee. "Sorry, sorry. Hey, sorry- uh, Joe? You got a minute?" "Does it look like I have a minute?" "Sorry, got a C.O.D for ya." Pony Joe rolled his eyes, set down a tray of fresh donuts and a fresh pot of coffee, had to smack a couple greedy appendages, one of which was a hoof, away from the tray. Phil went back to reading the paper. "Hey, uh-you. Hey, Phil? Phil Hadley?" "Yeah?" Joe walked over to him. "One of these is yours, bub." "What?" "Look for yourself- it's addressed to you." Phil took the letter, a single flimsy card. Not even an envelope; it was just folded over. "I thought Derpy delivered Canterlot's mail." "Nah, uh, she's got the day off today. I'm filling in." "Uh huh." His mind just began to process the strange circumstance when his commlink started going off. "Base to Top Hat, please respond. Base to Top Hat, please come in." His eyes darted around. Not a chance he'd be able to keep this discreet. When you can't keep it discreet, keep it brief. "Go ahead." "Top Hat, this is Base- two agents are down in Appleloosa. What is your status?" "I'm fine," he tried to whisper into the mic. Rebel Intelligence knew not to contact him unless absolutely necessary, meaning it was either an emergency or- the envelope! He flicked it out of his hands like it was poison. It landed behind the counter. "Repeat, this is Top Hat, situation normal. Am I compromised?" "...Not that we can tell." A pause before the response. It wasn't the voice of his handler and they weren't following intelligence protocol. Something was off. "We're putting you on alert. Exfiltrate if necessary, do not return to Base or fallback positions." "Copy," he said. Behind the counter, Pony Joe served a guy sitting a couple chairs away from him and noticed his commlink. "If you need to use the pay phone, it's in the back." "No, uh, thanks Joe. Sorry; just got a-uh, call from work." "Oh," Joe said, nodding slowly. "Hope it's good news." Still clutching the commlink, he pulled a fistful of Bits out of his coat pocket and left it on the counter. "Keep the change, Joe." He got up and started for the door. Phil didn't notice Joe leaning down to pick up something. "Hey- Phil, you drop something?" His eyes went wide. He spun around. "Joe, don't-!" *BLAAM* The letter exploded like a grenade. Green flames filled the diner, the windows shattered, people and ponies screamed. There was a hole in the ceiling right above the kitchen and smoke was already rising out of it. Coughing, Phil struggled to stand. Donuts, broken plates and spilled coffee all over the floor. His eyes stung, his vision was blurry but returning. Ears ringing, he braced himself on a chair to pull himself up. "Medic!" He coughed hard into his sleeve. "MEDIC! Paramedics!!" The counter had been scorched, nothing on it that wasn't blackened. The diner was full of smoke. The patrons not on the ground scrambled out the doors, coughing. Phil was the only one standing who remained. "Medics! Joe!" He pulled himself around the counter, back to the kitchen. Squinting, he saw Joe on the ground, motionless. "Joe!!" His hat and white uniform were both burnt, as was the side of his face. Green embers littered the ground. "JOE! No, Joe!" Phil knelt over him. "JOE!!" His medical training was not extensive. He pulled out his commlink. "Base! Base, come in! We need a medical team at Canterlot! Pony Joe's diner! Now!" He pocketed it, not waiting for a response. Remembering what little he knew from training, he put his hand over the pony's chest and started compression. "Joe! Come on, Joe! Joe! JOE!!" Alliance Intelligence Lieutenant Phillip Hadley screamed as loud as he could, in spite of the fires and the smoke. He screamed for Joe and paramedics until his lungs gave out and he collapsed on the floor next to him amid the destroyed plates and spilled coffee. His ears stopped ringing and he heard the sirens of one of the ambulances before he passed out. From a cloud high above Canterlot, the postal pegasus who had delivered the 'letter' watched the rising smoke.