Hiya! It's Pinkie Diane's BIIIIIIIG solo fight!
Wait, don't go! Never fear, Pinkie Diane is here! It sure took us a long while to get to where we are now, so let's not waste anymore of everypony's time, right? Right!
I was all alone with Discord-sea-serpent-that-floats-in-the-sky-instead-of-water's tail, but I wasn't scared. HEH! And even if I was scared I'd be smiling anyway! Giggle at the ghosties, remember? I have plenty to be scared of, but this guy isn't one of them! Did the gloomy gusts make it dark so all I could see was his outline? Nope! And anyway, sadness doesn't make the day any less sunny! So with the meanie magic wall all around us, there was only one thing to do!
I waved and said, "Howdy!"
Seacord waved a long skinny arm excitedly. "Howdy yourself!"
"Wait a moment... Weren't you shooting a water cannon at me a minute ago?"
Seacord looped around and scratched the side of the head with his tail fin, seeming honestly perplexed. "Was I?" A studio monitor dropped down from someplace, and he clicked a remote control, rewinding the video to a scene of me bouncing on a ball while he tried to wash me out, dressed like a firefighter. "Ohhh, that! That was just to set up tension while the interviewers were busy gabbing with your friends."
I rushed to point a hoof at him, standing on my hind legs. "Is that so!?" Then I gave a shrug, dropping to all fours again. "I guess now we're at the part where you say a lot of things I should be ashamed of and tell me I should just give up, and I say a lot of brave stuff about friendship and you get angry and attack?"
"I was hoping we could skip that part and get right to the fun stuff!" answered Seacord with a grin. "Say, maybe I could fill this whole place with water, and you could magically pull SCUBA gear from out of frame, and we could have an epic undersea fight!"
"Ooh! What an inspired idea!" I nodded. "You and me are a lot alike!"
"We are? Wait a sec, I'm the bad guy! Aren't I supposed to say that?"
"But we are a lot alike!" I repeated, beaming at him. "We both love a good prank, we both love to have fun, we both have lots of wacky stuff we do that most ponies don't get!"
In a flash, Seacord was wearing a waterproof tux and holding a bouquet of sea lilies, while a few bars of ‘Here Comes the Bride' played. "Does that mean you'll say yes to marrying all of me?"
I folded my arms, waggling a hoof. "Well, I can't really say yes without getting a blessing from the Pairing Stone back home! It's tradition."
The wedding gear poofed away, and his coils drooped. "So, that's ‘no', then?"
"I didn't say that." I smiled and nodded coyly. "But we're different in that I know some things are more important than a quick laugh."
"Let me take a stab in the dark." He threw a dart at a lovely old-fashioned wood and felt dartboard, which happened to have every single space labelled ‘Friendship.' "Oh my! Is it... friendship?"
"Not JUST friendship, silly!" I giggled. "It's about making OTHERS happy, not USING others to make yourself happy! Why do you think I always customize my parties to suit the guest of honor? What makes me most happy is others being happy!"
"I'm just being true to myself too," he said, as if breaking ponies for fun was no worse than stealing cookies from the cookie jar.
"Is hurting others really being true to yourself?" I asked sincerely.
"How can I be the happiest being in existence if there aren't other people who are less happy than me?"
"But if you keep hurting others to have fun, sooner or later you won't have anypony else to have fun with. I'm a pony, it feels good to be part of a herd! We don't put each other down, we stick together and lift each other up!"
"I'd like to keep my uniqueness, thank you!"
"You don't need to give up what makes you special to have friends. You just need to find some common ground. Vinyl and Octy are like night and day on the surface, but they have a common ground in that they both like music, even if it isn't the same music."
"So we can be friends if we both like pranks?"
I actually hesitated for a teeny tiny bit there. Just a bit! "Technically, we could, but I'm not sure it'd work out. Like Dashie said about Gilda, you can't really stay friends with one friend if they're hurting your other friends."
"I guess we're stuck, then. Oh well, I guess we'd best get started battling!"
"Can we have a goof-off instead of a fight?"
"Sorry. Whole-me and Not-Diamond are the only judges we'd have, and he's biased, and we'd be here forever trying to make her smile."
"Couldn't we use one of my friends?" Pinkie proposed.
"They'd be biased in favor of you."
"Oh, okay." I was sad, but I didn't let it show.
"Count of three work for you?"
"Okie doki loki. On three."
"THREE!" We shouted at the exact same time.
= 'Overworld Theme' - Super Mario World = / = 'Ready, Go!' - G-Gundam =
We threw tasty pies at each other super-duper fast! YA-TA-TA-TA-TA! Our pies collided falling to the ground and splattering everywhere! A wall of thrown pies, reaching up into the sky as they kept hitting each other! Until the ground between us was a massacre of uneaten pies. Oh, the tasty cherry filling-anity!
Then Seacord wriggled up to me, his arms turned into extendo-fist boxing gloves that continued to spring forward and pull back at me as I backpedaled.
I skipped over a hovering landmine hidden behind me, so Seacord set it off instead. Unlike in the movies, it just went off instead of going 'click' first. Steamers exploded around him, wrapping him up like a stunt pony after a go-kart wreck.
"Oh yeah, how could I forget, Pinkie Sense!" Seacord laughed and zapped the ribbons into harmless friendly snakes with feathers that try to tickle me, but I wrapped them up in a pretty bow and they turned back again.
Seacord pulled out a giant gunpowder pie. I shielded myself with one of my family's giant rock candy pies!
Then he threw a giant poison joke pie! I quickly borrowed one of the funnels Apple Bloom had built, and the funnel sent the poison joke pie back at him! He pulled out a giant fan to blow the pie right back at me, but luckily I had a mirror pie which, as everypony knows, reflects other pies back where they came from! You're smart, so of course you know what mirror pies are and how they work, so I don't need to explain anything.
Seacord reached into a sack that of course he'd been carrying since the beginning, and shook out a parasprite, which promptly ate the poison joke pie in one bite. Instead of spitting out another parasprite, it began to grow bigger and bigger instead! Soon It was taller than Seacord and still growing!
"WHOOPS!" said Seacord. "I made a teensy little boo-boo!"
We both began to back up as the parasprite continued to blow up like a balloon! "More like a great big boo-boo!" I don't wanna be a pancake! "Wait! I got it!" I pulled out my weight-watchers party mix and threw several parties' worth of celery right in the giant parasprite's mouth.
Then it froze... and got smaller... and smaller and smaller until the happy mindless soulless bug shrank to nothing and poofed out of existence.
Seacord blinked. "Wow, that was kinda clever. How'd you know it would work?"
"Easy peasy! Everypony knows that celery has negative calories."
(Interviewer's Notes: (Pegasus): Geeze, you're going all out here, Pinks.)
I make no apologies! I've gotta do this to have a hope of winning.
(Interviewer's Notes: (Unicorn): Ugh! This whole thing feels like a game of Calvinball.)
Oooh! Calvinball's my all-time favorite sport! What did you think was gonna happen when it's Pinkie Pie versus a part of Discord?
(Interviewer's Notes: (Unicorn): This could get messy. Perhaps we should observe from a safer distance!)
Seacord rolled his eyes at them. "You're no fun. Now, where were we? Oh, right!"
He reached behind his back and pulled out a star-studded robe, instantly donning it to become a wizard from Pontasia. Colorful neon lightning flew from his fingertips right at me in the shapes of the words 'Happy First Birthday!'
Thankfully I just put on a suit of... oh wait, I'm ALREADY wearing a suit of magical armor! Silly me! Okay, then, my magically suited self just drew a foam rubber sword that may or may not have come from Tiddly Wink's toy store, caught the lightning on the blade, and flung it right back at him!
He jerked into a buncha different poses with his skeleton showing! Then he stood blackened and twitching with the word 'TILT!' flashing on his beeping nose.
(Interviewer's Notes: (Unicorn): This is all nonsense!)
And I wouldn't have it any-other-way!
Seacord picked himself up. Then he snapped his fingers to make his twin go away, and started bouncing like a giant spring. "So! How about we fight so hard that it breaks us into the second layer of reality where the creators leave their descriptions of the universes as road signs to Those-Who-Watch, and then fight so hard we break into the THIRD layer of reality where Those-Who-Watch leave remarks about our reality?"
I bounced up and down right along with him! "I like that idea, I really REALLY like that idea! I absolutely love it!" I sighed. "But a lot of my friends think I've only been making ponies laugh by breaking the walls of the universe lately. I don't wanna hurt the wall-fixers' feelings."
"What does a comedian like you care about hurt feelings? All comedy is just misery left out in the sun too long."
"That doesn't mean you should make the misery in the first place."
"Who needs to 'make' misery, imaginary-friend-from-a-universe-that-never-was? Ya know, there are gods who considered your manufactured paradise to be so stupid that visiting it was a punishment. I mean, how is that not hilarious?" He said all this without a hint of meanness or bullying.
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
= ' The Halberd Vs. Star Dream Phase 1 ' - Kirby Planet Robobot =
I took out a red strip of cloth, tied it around my forehead, and stood on my rear hooves. I hefted my party cannon onto my shoulder.
"Adorable! Trying to make up for not being able to save your beloved Minty-"
Never dignify bad jokes with a response. I let him have it with rapid fire. How did I do that? I asked Pinkie to reload it. What? No! I was aiming it. Pinkie was reloading it! Pinkie Pie meanwhile was firing for us. I thought that was obvious. Bright pink party-balls hammered into him, each exploding with pretty sparkles. I never let up, hitting him with a congo-line of party bombs. He was barely flinching? Let's see what a bajillion 'barely flinchings' add up to!
I had enough for Star-Catcher and Luna's birthdays and then some! I wasn't giving up, not now and not ever, not on my friends.
He swirled on a magician's cloak, and from beneath it came four anti-party missiles stuffed with algebra tests, tax documents, and health food! I shot them all down before they got close!
(Dusk's Notes: But how do you know what was in-)
(Dawn's Notes: Shhh! This is getting good!)
He tried to shield himself with grammar test blackboards, but I blew them away!
He threw two bundles of dental floss at me, but I Pinkie sensed where they were gonna be before they were there!
He reached into the sky and unzipped it, and a buncha giant yodeling building blocks with random symbols on their sides came tumbling down towards me like they were on an invisible slide. My party cannon blew them all into fireworks before any of them could get close. I drew a 'reverse' button on my party cannon, sucked up all the fireworks, and blasted them in Seacord's face, toppling him over.
He snapped his fingers, unimpressed, and became a drum major, twirling his baton and shouting 'Oomp-pa! Oomp-pa!' Saxophones, tubas, trumpets, trombones, and sousaphones marched out behind him, and began flaring colorful pink sound rings at me! I whipped out a guitar and played it loud, and I mean super loud, cancelling the sound rings out.
Lucky thing I'd had a lot of coffee before coming here, huh?
"Look deep into the pretty spiral! Maybe there's cake at the center!" He reached behind his back and pulled out a lollipop that spun like a hypno-screen! Lucky thing I put on my mirror anti-hypnosis glasses! I still had Twilight's anti-magical-brainwashing enchantments, but better safe than sorry.
"Don't like that? How about this!" He pulled out an old-timey future laser-gun with the words 'Maidification Ray' on the side. Thankfully I used my sunglasses as a shield, and deflected the beam back at him!
When the dust settled, he was wearing a pretty plaid and purple maid outfit and holding a silver tray. "Would you like tea with your sugar?" He was compelled to say, before screaming, ripping the costume off, and drinking the tea.
"Hey, no fair! I wouldn't have been able to do that if you zapped me!"
"Well duh, but that's a good climax for this, isn't it? Taste the power of Ponythulu's cookies! The tasty sugary impossible treats that will literally blow your mind!!" He revealed a tray of delicious smelling cookies with green chocolate chips and with frosting with colour out of space! Give yourself a brownie if you get that one!
(Interviewer's Notes: (Earth Pony): I do!)
(Interviewer's Notes: (Unicorn): You're too young to read those!)
The smell was so mouthwatering, I found myself being drawn to them against my will! Yes! Yes! Eat the cookie! Become one with He Who Sleeps And Dreams of Freshly Baked Cookies! Become one of the Deep Ponies with the cute little face tentacles that drove ponies mad!
"NO!" I pulled out a vanilla-vanilla cake with chocolate powder. "AWAY, DELICIOUS COOKIES! THE POWER OF CAKE COMPELS YOU! CELESTIA'S CAKE BE MY GUIDE!"
And the cookies burst into flames and were no more. "Dangit. Okay, how about this one?" He unrolled an endless red carpet that chased me everywhere until I jumped over the roll. I landed on a giant square of flypaper. Predictably, he pulled out a giant flyswatter and slammed down on my substitute-pink-pony-piñata, spraying candy everywhere. "Hey! No fair!"
"Really?" I said, standing a little ways away, "You're really gonna say that, Mr. Seacord McBaddiespawn?"
"Objection!" he shouted, suddenly sporting slicked-back hair. "You said it first." A tape recorder in his other hand rewound itself and played, "Hey, no fair!" in my voice.
"Oh yeah?" I shouted, wearing a red jacket with a fancy cravat. "Well, I object to your objection!"
"You know this is pointless, don't you, Pinkie? We can both keep coming up with crazy tricks, but you don't have a way to finish me off, while I've got plenty of ways to give you a permanent time out!"
Using one of my rear hooves, I extended one of my own extendo-fist boxing gloves out of sight, and back into view beside him, smacking him in the face and making him see stars like The Countess and Sapphire Shores!
"Seriously, though, this fight will go on for eternity if we let it. I have eternity to live. You don't. And neither do your friends."
He put on a top hat and snapped his fingers. Merry-go-round music played, and a spiral gold pole rose of his hat. Connected to it were merry-go-round horses of my first friends with faces that would make Derpy cringe. Riding them were clones of Seacord all dressed up like cow-ponies! They began to fire their six shooters with real bullets one after another as they orbited, closing in on me!
Red spurted out of my chest as I fell backwards without fanfare. My party cannon clattered to the ground beside me.
"NO!" Seacord gasped, literally turning white as a sheet. "No no no no!" The cow-pony Seacords, the merry-go-round, everything vanished. He rushed over to my side, hanging over me. "This wasn't supposed to happen, and certainly not in such a horribly anticlimactic way!"
I sprang up, and hit him in the face with a pie made of glue. Can I squirt ketchup with the best of them, or what?
Seacord pulled the pie off... and his own face right along with it. The face on the pie looked all around, surprised and bewildered. "Why, you pink pest! I'm so frustrated I could just rip a portal open to another universe to throw you in, and get accidentally tossed into myself!"
"Really?!" I leaned forward, smelling an adventure!
"No, not really."
"Rats."
Seacord smashed the pie into his face again, and this time he only peeled off the pie. "You might have four-thousand or so years of experience at this game, Pinkie Pie, but I've got you beat by billions of years." He waggled a finger. "You can't win."
We'll just have to see about that! I kept blasting away, firing party cannonballs at Seacord! He put on a straw hat, and slipped on a purple spandex suit that didn't leave ANYTHING to the imagination, with an incredible exclamation mark across the chest. It's a good thing the twitchy-twitch from my Pinkie Sense warned me, cause instead of exploding, the cannonballs bounced right off him and back at me, like they were made of rubber! I rolled out of the way of my own attack as they exploded into party favors behind me!
"I am rubber!" he proclaimed. "And you... are toast!" He stretched out his arms super-fast, trying to punch me. He was going so fast it looked like he'd grown an extra bajillion arms! Pinkie Sense, don't fail me now! Left! Right! Right again! Bend over backwards! Shoot self up with party cannon, shoot self down with party cannon, skip halfway out of frame to other side of frame, do a split split, do a corkscrew roll! Pirouette!! Cartwheel! Back! Dive forward! Up up! Down down! Left right, left right! Butt stomp! Air jump! I had to turn myself over totally to my Pinkie Sense to keep from getting clobbered.
Since that wasn't working either, he stuck a fin in his mouth and blew, causing one of his arms to grow huge and black with glowing lines. He swung that just once, but once would have been enough! Pinkie Sense warned me to dodge just in time, and he hit the ground instead, turning our whole ‘battle arena' into a smashed up jigsaw puzzle.
"I told you already, you have nothing in your arsenal that can beat me. You couldn't beat one of us when you had the power of Wishes itself at your command. Even one-tenth of a Concept is more than you can hope to overcome, so why don't you just become Discord's wife, and you can sit out the right of the fight."
He did a super stretchy leg kick that I didn't see but my Pinkie Sense did, so I backflipped to avoid it.
"I'd never abandon my friends."
"Why? You're not Loyalty."
"That doesn't mean Laughter is all I am! Do you think I'm just one virtue?!"
He stretched into a rubber Ferrari, and ran me over, breaking me apart and spilling my insides, and by 'me' I mean one of my Pinkie Pie Piñatas filled with glue, sticking him place.
"Using the same trick twice in one fight?! That's boring!"
"This one won't be," I said happily as he stared down the very long business end of my newest toy.
"I thought you dismantled that thing!" he screamed, trying to get free of the glue.
"That was the L118 Happy Howitzer MK II," I casually explained. "This baby is the L118 Happy Howitzer MK III!" I fired the long-range siege party cannon at point blank range. Good thing I'm a party pony, cause being that close to a sparkles-balloons-and-flying-doves mushroom cloud might do strange things to normal ponies!
The placed was filled with glitter and balloons now. I put on a life jacket and stood atop an inflatable party raft, party cannon at my side. The gloomy walls were now sparkly red (Diamond Tiara's favorite color) with black kitty stickers with blue collars on them.
Dang. She still wouldn't smile?
Then Seacord exploded from the sea of balloons. "I told you! Nothing you can do will work! Ex-imaginary friend or not, you're just a mere mortal! I am a god. For you, I. am. Un-beat-able!"
He really sounded frustrated now, like he was trying to convince somepony to stop trying to dig a hole through a mountain by ramming their head into it but they were too dumb to listen, ... hey wait a minute! ]:(
(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Did you just speak a emoticon?)
Yeah, so?
(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Never mind.)
He rose above me, twice as big and buff as he'd been before, and trading the costume for a pair of boxing gloves. A storm raged all around us, shooting lightning and churning the 'ocean,' tossing and spinning my raft.
I thought about everything he'd said, and replied, "I guess it's a good thing I didn't make all of this a Pinkie Promise before."
"Huh?"
"I guess what I'm saying is-" I waved at him from the other side of the wall of black magic. "-bye-bye."
"WHAT?! HOW! YOU! YOU CAN'T DO THAT! GET BACK IN HERE!" He looked around at where I'd been, and where I was, looking every possible direction too.
"Nope."
"YOU HAVE TO! WE HAVEN'T HAD OUR CLIMACTIC FINAL FIGHT! This was it! I had the storm ready and everything! YOU CAN'T DO THIS!!! How can you have gotten out? It's impossible! HOW'D YOU DO THIS ANYWAY?!!?!?"
I wasn't supposed to exist in this universe, you think I don't know where all the folds in the paper are? Come on! You've seen me go from in front of to behind somepony, how many times?
"Not telling."
"OH COME ON! There's no fun in that! Please!"
"No."
"WHY?!?!?! We were having fun!! Everything was set up for the big final clash!!"
"You kept saying that I couldn't beat you."
"I wanted to sound cool. You weren't supposed to take me seriously! Come on, get back in here!" he begged. "Pretty please with a rubber chicken suit on top?! I'll even fight with one fin tied behind my back!"
"... Nope."
"PINKIE PIE! You can't screw me over like this! It's against the rules!"
"What rules?" I asked, innocent and bright eyed.
"THE rules! You can't end this on an anticlimax! You-you can't! Pleeeeeease! You wouldn't end a party like this would you?!"
"No. I wouldn't." I smile and nodded.
He grinned. I hate to see it go away.
"But this isn't a party." But I have to anyway.
"PINKIE PIE! THIS IS MAKING ME UNHAPPY! You said you got happy from making others happy!"
"... I did. And you get happy from making others unhappy. I'm sorry. I'm not fighting to show which of us is better at putting on a show, I was fighting to stop you from hurting everypony. I don't like fighting anyway, and you gotta admit, it does make for a good joke right?"
"Maybe... Oh, fine! Maybe it does ... Congratulations, Pinkie Pie... that was... a good show..."
He turned into a buncha pretty colors and sparkles that passed through the wall, and into ghost Discord who was still floating out of Nightmare Diamond Tiara who was now right behind me.
The wall of bad magic disappeared, spilling the party balloons and sparkles everywhere.
"Allow me to get that." Discord pulled a vacuum cleaner out of his ear this time, and began sweeping up all the party fallout.
I trotted right up to the Nightfilly. "Hey there, 'I'm Not Diamond Tiara'. Sorry we missed your birthday. Maybe I should give you a party right now while we wait, but that wouldn't be very fun without your friends-"
"I don't have friends."
"Don't be silly! Alula, Tootsie, Silver Spoon, and Neatly Spell all want to have your birthday with you."
"How do you know about Alula and Tootsie?" she demanded. "You remember, don't you? How I turned Equestria into Hell? How I almost made you and Apple Bloom murderers? How I almost murdered Silver Spoon? And you want to have a party with ME? Are all of your friends completely insane, or is it just you?"
"I've been sane for a year, you know that," I rolled my eyes. "And yeah, I remember every little icky, black, gooey, unhappy detail! What you did was bad, super-duper ultra bad! You helped really bad guys do really bad things, and did really bad things yourself."
"Then why the Pony Hell did you offer me a make-up birthday party?"
"Language, little filly!"
"There's nothing innocent about me any more. Answer the question."
"Not until you say please!"
Please wasn't really something Diamond Tiara was really used to saying. I'm proud she was able to get the sounds out. "Ple...Ple-eh-eaze."
"There, that was hard, but you'll get better with practice. Maybe evil you does deserve a really big spanking. But my job is to clean up the evil nightmare gunk inside you, and then later help you be happy after. And I know you can be happy without hurting anypony."
"All I ever do is hurt ponies. I poison everything I touch."
"And first thing we'll need to do is help you work through that attitude."
"Maybe father and I will crush you while you're separated from your friends."
"Nah, I don't think so. If you really wanted to do that, we wouldn't be chatting right now."
"She might not! But maybe I will! BWAHAHAH!" Discord laughed evilly.
"So... when are you going to marry Fluttershy?" I asked.
"... Excuse me." Discord drank glass of water, then spat out fruit punch. "WHAT?!"
"You're the father of her foal aren't you? My parents always told me that that's the only honorable thing to do."
"I'm evil incarnate! I'm the opposite of honorable!"
"Yeah... you were... but a blind pony can see you want to make up for it."
"Oh shut up! Shouldn't you be worried about your friends and rushing to help them?!"
"I'm not worried one bit, because I know they're not gonna lose!" I said with a proud smile on my face.
+++
Spike VII's Account
Picture this... I was on Trixie's back looking around as she tried her hardest not to shake. Me, Rarity, Applejack, and Trixie stared up at Dragocord, looming over us.
"Ahem." A sourceless spotlight snapped on, making us squint and shade our eyes. It swung over to brilliantly illuminate Deercord and that smug grin of his. "There, that's more like it."
What? No, Discord's greed being a dragon didn't offend me. That's our thing, you know? Besides, you shouldn't worry so much about offending others and being offended. It's a horrible habit for everypony involved.
Though, I'm wondering why he glanced at Celestia behind the walls of creepiness. Through the nasty wall I saw all of my friends' silhouettes, trying their hardest to fight off their detachments. I hope Twilight, Silver Spoon, Sweetie Belle, and the others make it out of this okay.
"So," Rarity said with perfect poise. "Are either of you the part of Discord that manipulated Diamond Tiara?"
Deercord turned his nose up at her. "No, that would be Batcord."
"Oh. Well, I suppose defeating you two ruffians will still be a meaningful victory. Perhaps."
"Speak for yourself," growled Dragocord. Geeze, he reminds me of that one green dragon in the Everfree that wanted to eat me for snacking on his gems. "I said I wanted to face the pink and yellow ones, so I could turn them into my personal dragonesses, think how beautiful our hatchlings will be!" He licked his chops, and a drop of his drool burned the ground like acid. Blech. "I ask for one thing, just one, and the whole-of-me couldn't even deliver on that! I've been cheated!"
"It seems random chaos is finally in our favor for once," Rarity said sharply.
I really didn't want to think about what Dragon Discord said.
"Hey!" I blurted out, suddenly inspired. "You guys are Discord and Discord is evil, right? So why doesn't one of you eat the other and absorb their power to get even more powerful?"
And give us only one baddie to worry about.
"You know you're just going to do it anyway once we wear down one of you to where you can't defend yourself!" I egged them on.
Deer Discord got even more snooty with us, somehow. "As if I'd ever taint my perfection by absorbing that oaf!"
"Hey, that's a great idea!" rumbled Dragocord. "Thanks, little dragon!"
"Nope! You're not doing that!" Discord's voice boomed. "Bad Dragon-me, bad! No eating your brother!"
Dragocord lashed out, slashing deep furrows into the lawn. "Darn it!"
Deercord wouldn't even glance at Dragocord.
"So, darling," said Rarity, with a smile that could've made me do anything. "No doubt you're going to fight us one at a time, since surely a big strong dragon such as yourself wouldn't want a puny deer to steal any of your glory. And a proud, mighty deer such as yourself would never need help. Am I right?"
Dragocord loomed closer. "Darn it, I really wanted the pink and yellow ones..." He grinned suddenly, razor-sharp fangs gleaming. "But there's no reason why I can't take you first! Now, become my hot obedient little dragonesses!" He breathed purple fire on Rarity and Applejack.
"NO!" I shouted, actually leaping off Trixie to race towards Rarity. Except... the flames cleared, and both of them were alright! The blue barrier around Rarity's armor had appeared again, and Applejack's armor was shimmering red.
Rarity and Applejack both glared at Dragocord.
"Generosity beats your greed, it seems!"
"The truth of who Ah am beat the lie of what you want ta force me to be!"
"Bravo," Trixie whispered. I clapped.
"NOT FAIR!" Dragocord stomped the ground repeatedly. "I never get what I want!"
Rarity rolled her beautiful eyes.
Now the big antlered jerk sniffed disdainfully at Applejack. "Truth? Truth?! You're 'Honest' when you feel like it, cheater, but that doesn't mean what you say is true. My words of wisdom would be wasted on a country hick who shouted 'Liar' to every point I made. You'll just make up whatever so-called 'truth' you please, which will of course be conveniently on your side, not mine."
Applejack snorted, pawing at the ground. "It ain't cheatin', and it ain't so-called! And ya just admitted that all it takes is a quick honest look to see right through whatever buncha hooey you can spout!"
Dragocord eyed Trixie and me. Uh-oh!
"You don't have magic armor!" He breathed that purple fire at us.
Trixie's horn glowed, and a copy of Shining Armor's shield appeared, just big enough to hold both of us.
"Oh, no you don't!" He poured it on, making his purple flame bigger and hotter! Trixie cringed, and the barrier shrank until Trixie was kneeling and I was huddled against her. Then the glow of Trixie's horn overlapped with the glow of Rarity's magic... huh?! Rarity's Element and the tracers on her armor were glowing!
Not taking her eyes off us, Rarity levitated a needle the size of a crossbow bolt and shot it with her telekinesis... straight into one of his big, mean, and green nostrils!
"AAGH!" He stopped breathing fire and clawed at his own snout. "Get it out, get it out!"
A pony shouldn't take pleasure in the suffering of an evil jerk, even if he did try to turn us into his playthings. Good thing I'm not a pony.
"Excellent, good show!" shouted Deercord, clapping his hooves. "Well done. You have a right to be proud of yourselves!"
"HEY!" yelled Dragocord, snorting through one nostril as Rarity smiled.
"Well, a lady doesn't refuse praise."
Deercord's eyes grew multicolored and swirly. "Now, let your pride consume you! Become one with your arrogance! Through that one crack in your soul, I shall enter. Become one with me, become my vessel! Through me, know only me, know only pride!"
"Yeeeesssss masterrrrr," Rarity stiffened and robotically trotted up to Deercord. I held my breath. Rarity then switched to a fighting stance and swept his legs, dumping him to the ground.
I know, there's a bajillion different types of mind control magic out there, but there's only one Discord, and Twilight has his magic down pat! She gave us mind protection enchantments before we even came here! Never bet against Rarity's acting!
Deercord sprang right back up, clenching a hoof so hard, it shook. "You... deceiving wench!"
"Did I make you angry?" Rarity smirked.
Deercord breathed in so sharply it was likely a whistle. "I'm never angry. I am pride."
The fake dragon growled. "Ugh, enough with the games! Let's just eat 'em already!"
"I don't take orders from you," Deercord said snottily.
Then both of them got shocked by a double whammy of lightning from Trixie. The smoldering monsters turned their attention right towards her, and so did our friends.
"Trixie!" Rarity scolded.
"What? Is this about me being unsporting?"
Lightning leaped from the deer's antlers and red fire shot out of Dragocord's mouth, right towards Trixie. I jumped in the way of the fire, heh, didn't feel a thing, and Rarity stacked her big needles together, planting the bottom one in the earth to make a lightning rod.
In a low and unhappy voice, Rarity said, "If we had stayed out of their way a little longer, they might have turned on each other!"
"...Oh, sorry about that!"
Deercord laughed at Rarity like a noblepony at a garden soiree. "As though I would ever fall for such an obvious deceit."
= Captain Claw soundtrack - 'level 3' =
Dragocord unfurled his wings and began flapping so hard, we nearly all went flying. I dug my claws into the dirt, while Applejack used herself as a windbreak for the others. Before we could figure out a plan, Dragocord spun around and swept his tail across the ground. I was knocked away like a baseball, but Rarity caught me in her magic. Rarity and Applejack's armor kept their bones from being broken, and Applejack made a diving save for Trixie.
Dragocord breathed fire again, and the barrier from Rarity's armor blocked it off. Then he crouched down and jumped, slamming a paw down on the barrier with all his weight. Rarity's legs buckled, and now we were in a bowl-shaped crater, but the shield held.
-
I won't lie, darlings. It felt like my horn was going to crack.
-
Deercord's antlers glowed again. I don't think real deer can do that, except Harmony maybe. The ground rumbled, and boulders burst out of the ground, surrounded by the same random glow as Deercord's horns! He hurled them right at us.
Applejack didn't miss a beat. She ran TOWARDS them, smashing them all with one buck each! Even the pebbles flew away from us, and Applejack's armored hooves weren't even dented.
The glow of Deercord's magic appeared around Rarity and Applejack's necks, but the chaos magic shattered as soon as it was appeared, unraveled by their armor. Then the glow appeared around my own neck and I felt an invisible iron vise tightening. Being a dragon, an iron vise wasn't that big a deal, but the force was squeezing tighter and tighter the longer it was there! Trixie, meanwhile, was choking like an exhausted dog on a leash!
Deercord grinned smugly. "A cheapskate's Element of Magic could never hope to match my- AGH!" Rarity had fired some of her gems with the speed and force of a cannon. They ricocheted everywhere off Deercord's seventeen point antlers, messing up his concentration. That was a relief on my neck.
"WAY TO GO, RARITY! Trixie, you okay?"
"Trixie... will live."
"No you won't!" Deercord snapped, and his horns glowed again. This time, tree branches shaped like his horns speared out of the ground like an instant forest! But that included underneath Dragocord. He yelped in pain as the forest of horns stabbed him in the feet and underneath his tail! Brrrr!
He toppled onto his side, causing an earthquake and getting stabbed with more of the branches. He smashed them like toothpicks, and the backlash broke Deercord's concentration again. Applejack didn't waste a second, and began shattering each branch with a single hit, as if she could see all their weak spots at glance. Trixie began setting them on fire for good measure, and Rarity formed her gems into something like a buzzsaw and cut down the rest.
"IDIOT!" snarled Deercord.
"NO, YOU'RE THE IDIOT!" bellowed Dragocord right back at him.
"We should coordinate. You can start by doing everything my superior mind comes up with."
"No, we should team up and you do everything I want!"
At least they're too greedy and too snobby to work as a team.
= Transformers Devastation Soundtrack- Menasor Theme V1 =
Dragocord cracked his knuckles, claws starting to glow. "Just crushing you ponies with my dragon strength wouldn't be satisfying enough now. I want more... I want to blow you to atoms!" He conjured a giant weapon out of nothing, some kind of dragon-sized cannon with a crossbow trigger.
(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): A combat rifle?! Is that allowed?)
He aimed it right at us and pulled the trigger. Thunderous roar, the blur of the cannonball! I couldn't dive to protect her in time! No! Wait, Rarity caught the cannonball in her telekinesis!! YES!!!
= The Wonderful 101 - JERGINGHA - PLANET DESTRUCTION =
Her eyes were like a tiger's... I don't mean she now had cat eyes, but the sheer LOOK she was giving! She flipped the weirdly-shaped cannonball around, then released it, and it flew right back up Dragocord's ‘rifle,' blowing it to scrap!
Dragocord snarled. "More bullets!!" He pulled out a pair of giant... what the heck?
(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Tommy guns!)
Well whatever they are, Dragocord had one with each of his foreclaws, and it rained giant bullets! Ratatatatatatatatat!!!
I tried to use myself as a shield for Trixie, but in that moment, Applejack put a hoof on Rarity's shoulder, and... whoa, just whoa.
As each bullet flew at us, it froze in place, glowing in Rarity's magic. Rarity and Applejack's stern expressions didn't change at all as they glared at Dragocord. Not a single strand of Rarity's beautiful hair was out of place. Ten. Twenty. Thirty. Rarity didn't flinch as Applejack just held her shoulder. The red glow of Applejack's armor flowing into Rarity's. Sixty. Eighty. Dragocord wildly moved his weapons but it was like Rarity could see the truth of where every last one of those things was gonna hit before they were even fired. A hundred! And... the bullets ran out of Dragocord's weapons as all that came was 'Click! Click! He looked at the hundred giant bullets in the air.
Rarity let out a battle cry, and it was like time rolled back in reverse, and they all flew right back at Dragocord! Hitting him almost all at once!
-
I wasn't as surprised as you'd probably think, darlings. Generosity is nothing if it can't inspire others to do the same.
-
Dragon scales can take almost anything, but you can bet that Dragocord felt all of those hits, and his two big weapons went boom too, he was covered in cannonball welts! "This isn't fair!" he whined. Sheesh, even I sounded more mature than that. I sounded more mature back when I was super-little and Twilight wouldn't buy me the latest Power Pony action figure. "I'm the oldest Detachment! That makes me the strongest, I should get what I want!"
"I must say darling, as somepony who knows greed the way light knows shadow, as a spirit of greed you're very lacking. Dragons are greedy? Is that all you have?"
Deercord made a show of yawning. "She has you there, brother. ‘More explosions?' You're just cribbing off of Lioncord now.
"I FOUGHT AN AVATAR OF LUNA TO A STAND STILL! I SHOULD BE ABLE TO JUST CRUSH THOSE BUGS! THEY'RE ALL CHEATERS!"
"You're embarrassing the both of us. Fine, just this once, I'll help you and... " Deercord paused. "What's this?" Trixie had thrown smoke bombs all around him, shrouding them in blue smoke. "Such amusing antics, little prestidigitator, but your infantile carnival tricks can't save you!"
Trixie began to randomly teleport around and vanished. "It's not the smoke you should be worried about... but what's inside!"
That was when it was Deercord's turn to be blown away, by a deafening burst of colorful fireworks exploding right in his face!
As the smoke cleared, I could see one of his eyes wide open, glaring, and the other one twitching angrily, his face, fur, and horns covered in black soot. These definitely weren't the usual family-friendly pyrotechnics from her magic shows!
"THIS IS IDIOTIC!" A storm bigger and nastier looking than anything I'd seen Cloudsdale put together formed above our heads. "I'll put an end to you!"
Trixie's horn glowed bright, and the storm dissolved.
"WHAT?!" Deercord looked ready to pop a blood vessel.
"Most unicorns can't even do weather magic." Trixie smiled. "So don't ever call Trixie 'not special'."
"WAY TO GO, GIRLS!" I cheered, hopping up and down and swinging my fists. "TROUNCE THESE... losers." Dragocord loomed over me, thoroughly ticked off. "Uh, Trixie?" I stammered. "I don't suppose you copied Twilight's age spell."
Trixie was busy diverting thunderbolts. "It never came up!"
If I wanted to fight Dragocord dragon-to-dragon, I'd have to get greedy on my own... but did I have it in me? "I want to save my friends!" Dragocord snarled and lifted a huge forepaw directly over me. I squeezed my eyes shut and kept shouting, "I want to save my friends, I WANT to save my friends-I-want-to... hey!" Applejack's lasso closed around me and yanked back hard, saving me from getting stomped into a dragon pancake.
Dragocord tisked, sneering down at me. "What a pathetic excuse for a dragon you are!"
"Oh yeah? Well I'm still more of a dragon than you are, you fake dracon-whatever-you-are!"
"Why don't you come up here and say that to my face, pipsqueak? Maybe you can get one of your pony friends to float you up."
"Spike-Wikey doesn't need your approval, you bully!"
"Actually the bullying part of Discord is the griffon, stupid pony."
"Don't you call Rarity stupid!"
"Oh? And what are you going to do about it?" He glared at Rarity. "Maybe you need a reminder of what a real dragon is like."
His burning gaze shifted back to me, and orange flames leapt from his eyes into mine. "Feel your inner dragon wake up! Feel all the greed you've been holding back! Let's break open that dam and see how greedy you really are!"
My heartbeat roared in my ears. Flaming claws seemed to reach inside my chest, stoking the ever-burning spark of my dragon flame. My vision sharpened and focused, tinted the same livid orange as Dragocord's flame.
Dragocord leered triumphantly. "Just give in, Spike... YOU WANT IT ALL!"
I felt him melt away the chains, break the locks. I felt him smash the concrete walls and rip the door right off the vault. Everything I wanted, everything I never got, I wanted more. More respect, more love, more comic books, more jewels, more time with Rarity, more space of my own, more fame, more praise, more O&O merchandise, more, more, MORE!
And I grew, from wyrmling to drake to truly a dragon, bigger and bigger until I stood shoulder to shoulder with Dragocord, and the ponies seemed so small, just colorful dolls before my paws. I felt the weight of ... wings on my back? That was new. Spike liked them at once, stretching them out. Spike knew them like Spike knew his own claws.
"Oh dear, not again," my Rarity whispered.
"Get ready," my Applejack said.
"Spike, it's us... " my Trixie pleaded. "We're your friends, remember?"
"Friends?!" Dragocord was beside himself with laughter. "Dragons don't need friends," he purred in Spike's ear. "What dragons want, they take! Well, what are you waiting for? Take that shiny golden armor for your new hoard. Take the prissy white pony and make her your very own dragoness, to please you however you want. Of course, I'm older and bigger and tougher than you, so the lion's share of the loot will be mine, but make sure you get yours!"
Spike could see it... a perfect, beautiful drakaina with ivory scales and amethyst fins. My Rarity, all MINE.
Spike rear back and punch Dragocord in face. He go 'bong' against wall of bad feelings, show other side of face, Spike punch that one too.
Pony or dragon, Rarity would be Spike's... and Spike would be all hers!
"You definitely not Discord's brain! What Spike is greedy for most, is Spike's friends. You're trying to take friends from Spike!"
= 'Voltron' 1980s Theme Instrumental =
"That's not supposed to happen," stupid Deer Discord say.
Discord-Dragon grab Spike by shoulders, he breathe orange flames in face, Spike breathe green flames back. Orange flames disappear and reappear, hit Discord-Dragon in face again. "AGH-AGH-AGH!"
Spike bear hug Discord-Dragon, fly high as he can. Piledrive Discord-Dragon into dirt, bury him upside down with legs sticking out. Dirt go up everywhere. My Ponies? They fine.
Spike pull Discord-Dragon out by tail, slam him into bad feelings wall over and over, then into ceiling, then into ground. Discord-Dragon whip around Spike by tail, Spike forced to let go. Spike spread wings to land softly, Spike make sure not to step on His Ponies.
Discord-Dragon swung punch, Spike punch back, my punch breaks his punch. Discord-Dragon's bones go smash!
"I am part of a Concept! How am I not winning?!"
"Maybe more dragon has, more dragon has to lose, stronger dragon is!" Spike explain to stupid-head! Spike punch his stomach.
-
Lady Rarity Belle
My Spikey-Wikey... My word, he's so strong and handsome like that. Erm, please strike that from the record, darling!
I'm so proud of Spike. I'll confess, darlings, seeing once again the rampaging dragon that kidnapped me did give me a moment of fear, but my heart soared when Spike struck that green-scaled ruffian! Spike proved once again that he's better than his nature, he's better than what his instincts have hardwired him to be.
And even in his fury, even as he threw punches that could break mountains, we never had to dodge any of his steps as collateral damage. Even trapped under an orange sea of greed, he wasn't forgetting about us.
I wish I had my opera glasses. I could watch Spike's physical perfection all day. And he showed that he was a better dragon by far than that piece of Discord! Do I have a thing for dragons? No. Do I have a thing for Spike? Perhaps I do. Be a dear and don't tell him, though. If I ever become an Alicorn, I'll tell him myself.
We were all in awe of the display of draconic might. We were broken out of our wonder as an idealized ice sculpture of Trixie in the 'Birth of Cadence' pose was smashed into Deercord's face. Applejack and I only smiled.
"Agh! What happened to your pride as honest and sporting warriors of justice?! Tell her what a loser she is!"
"This isn't exactly a martial arts tournament, darling," I said.
"Ah don't like it, but Ah know ya had it comin'!"
"Girls, Trixie is going to give Spike a little help! Cover her!" Trixie let loose one of her smoke bombs.
"Oh no you don't!" Deercord snarled, his horns glowing as he let off a blossom of spell bolts at Trixie.
"Oh yes she does!" Applejack and myself said, simultaneously kicking him in the antlers.
-
Trixie isn't quite used to running towards danger, but performers are adaptable!
-
Dragocord let out a deafening roar, loud enough to rattle my teeth. Even Spike clapped his paws over his ears, but he still moved his body to block the worst of the shock-wave from reaching us. The walls of black wind thankfully absorbed the sound rather than echo it back at us.
Meanwhile, Trixie was still moving at a full gallop. For a moment I worried that the stress had caused poor Trixie to have taken leave of her senses, darling. How Trixie intended to get into range for what she had planned I'd never know, for Dragocord ceased his roaring and began to breathe in instead, sucking in everything not nailed down.
I imagine that Trixie would have loved to spin a dramatic tale of striking at the beast from the inside... later, on a nice safe show stage. Wisely, Trixie screamed for help instead. My ever dutiful Spike caught her before she could be sucked into Dragocord's maul.
As for ourselves, Deercord unleashed a lightshow of death upon us, slinging dazzling spirals and multicolored patterns of magic. I had no intention of finding out whether my armor would hold up against all of that or not. Neither Applejack nor I have Pinkie Pie's sixth sense, and I could not touch Applejack while dodging this rainbow display of obliteration, but I did have an eye for detail, and an eye for patterns, and Applejack saw the truth of it. Between the two of us, without even speaking a word to each other, we were able to slip through the net.
Then Deercord closed the pattern in around us like a mouse trap with no way out... except I brought out a cache of jewels and threw them, blowing up enough of the projectiles to make a gap for our escape.
Deercord conjured an expanding sphere of wild magic around himself, but before it completely enveloped him, I brought out my chaise longue and used it to bowl him over from behind.
"Rarity!? Where do ya keep that thing?!"
"... Around," I answered Applejack, a little shifty-eyed.
Spike and Trixie had switched roles, with Trixie now riding atop Spike rather than the other way around, but Dragocord's muscles seemed to increase in size every moment.
"You can't win! Victory will be mine! Mine! Mine!" He roared and pummeled Spike, nostrils flaring.
And that last part was just fine by Trixie, as she summoned the most impressive thundercloud I've ever seen her conjure... it released but one lightning bolt... but that arched straight into that brute's nose and connected with the giant needle which I had lodged there earlier.
Dragocord's entire body shook like a plate of jelly in an earthquake. I actually saw electricity arch across his eyes and out his ears. He gave a fractured cry of pain. I imagine darlings, dragon scales are nigh indestructible, but their brains are soft as anypony else's, and Trixie had just short-circuited his.
Smoke poured out of Dragocord's ears, nose, and mouth. He swayed back and forth on his feet, wings twitching and tail dragging on the ground, but the orange fire in his eyes still burned bright.
I expected Spike to unleash some devastating final attack, and he did, but not the kind I imagined.
"What Discord want?"
"Uuuuuh?"
"What does Discord want? Dragons get big from greed, greed is from wanting more than dragon have. What does Discord want? The world? To be king? Have most toys? What?!"
And right before my eyes... Dragocord shrank!
"Discord... he not know what he want, does he?"
"He.... I... he wants... he wants.... He wants her to.... Love... he wants... " He was reaching for something, but it was like he couldn't quite grasp it. "Celly... he wants... m... ma... he wants..."
The needle finally fell out of Dragocord's nose, and not a moment too soon for him, for he continued to shrink smaller and smaller until he was no bigger than a stallion. He looked up and UP at Spike.
Spike snorted some green flames. Dragocord yelped, claws scrabbling on the lawn, and ran away. He ran until he smacked into the barrier of black magic, and then he kept clawing at that, trying to dig under it. He looked back at us and I saw a spark in his eyes. "Discord wants her to lov-"
"That's quite enough out of you." Discord snapped his fingers, and Dragocord instantly dissolved into chaos magic, flowing back into him.
With Dragocord's magic gone, Spike let loose one last earthshaking roar, then shrank back into the adorable baby dragon I know and love. We raced to help our friends, but Trixie proved not to be as spent as we thought. She conjured a small hill of feathers to soften their landing.
"SPIKE, YOU WERE MAGNIFICENT!" I hugged him, using three of my needles to deflect Deercord's cheapshot lightning bolts behind my back.
"Aw, thanks Rarity." My handsome little drake blushed.
"Hey, Trix', great show."
"Trixie thanks you, Applejack... but the show isn't over yet."
"Took you long enough," sneered Deercord. "Now that you're even further worn down, and the useless deadweight is out of the way, I can finish you off at my leisure."
I gracefully turned around, still holding Spike. Magical beams shot from his eyes, but I reflected them back with the floating screen of gems that I'd already prepared. The villain cursed, flinching back.
"No. Now that there are four of us, and one of you, you are the one who is going to lose. Surrender."
= 'The Royal Menagerie Phase 2 Theme Shinryu' - FFXIV =
"How is that remotely humble?! How is anything you're doing even remotely humble?! I thought you ponies were obsessed with proving your points!"
"We're working together, not all trying to be the one champion, if that makes you happy."
"I will be happy when you are on your knees before my hooves, your horns sawed off, lobotomized, the only thoughts in your empty heads being to please my carnal-"
Trixie gave him some electric therapy followed by some ice packing treatment right between the legs!
"Be silent, cur. My little sister might hear you."
"Buck you and buck your..." He nimbly dodged being rolled over by Tom, back from Froggy Bottom. "Don't you know pride is the one so-called sin that can never be truly defeated? Therefore, you can never defeat me."
"Now yer just graspin' at straws!" Applejack shouted.
"No I'm not! You're all stubborn! Egotistical! Self-centered-"
"Blah blah! I know these ponies!" Spike shouted heroically. I let him stand on his own two feet. "That's not them at all!"
"I'll have you know, being humble is not having no confidence or self love. It's about giving and accepting credit where it's due, no more, and no less. And that is all I have to say to you."
"Geeze Rare', ya beat me to it!" Applejack said.
"Sorry, darling." I laughed.
"You took the words out of Trixie's mouth. She will bill you later!"
"We're certain you'll have your turn darling."
"I thought it was great Rarity!"
"You would Spike." I smiled.
"DON'T YOU DARE IGNORE ME!" A fireball formed over Deercord's head, expanding to the size of a building.
"Pride comes before a fall." Applejack said, she jumped and slammed all four hooves into the ground. A fissure raced like lightning to the deer's hooves, and he faltered, along with his attack. Both went up in a pillar of flames.
"It amazes Trixie how often that works."
"It's what happens dear when you're more concerned with how impressive doing something is instead of actually doing it."
"I. HAVE. HAD. ENOUGH!" Deercord rose up, his eyes glowing white, his body a black silhouette against his flaming aura. "I am the the strongest, purest, and most central of all parts of Discord's Whole! Since you didn't want to be Dragocord's trophy mates, you can instead be crushed into witless pleasure beasts! When I'm done here, I will twist your precious Elements to my desires! You greatest ponies will be brain-dead slaves! The horror of it all will break even the strongest! Equestria will stink of nothing but-"
I shouted over him, "You call that horror? It's bad comedy!"
= Kingdom Hearts - Simple And Clean -Ray of Hope MIX- =
Deercord fired a single violet blast. We scattered to dodge it. "GO!" I shouted, and we all charged, with Trixie magically scooping up Spike and dropping him on her back. Applejack charged straight on. I came at him from the left, and Trixie came from the right with Spike breathing fire as he went.
Deercord reared up defiantly. Beams of light shot down from the sky, twisting and arcing wildly. Spike blocked for Trixie, I dodged, and Applejack simply tanked them, bucking Deercord in the face.
Deercord responded by headbutting Applejack hard enough to knock her flying. Applejack managed to throw a lasso around one of his legs, but he slashed the rope before it pulled tight, and she bounced off the shadowy border of the arena before skidding to a stop.
Trixie used another smoke bomb. It only concealed her for a few moments before Deercord called down a gale to blow it away, but a moment was all Trixie needed. She charged out of the fog, got shot dead center by a laser from his mouth, and turned into a smoke cloud. The real Trixie leapt out from behind the illusion to kick him in the jaw.
I levitated Applejack back to her hooves and started checking for injuries. I didn't get the chance, she was already charging at him again. Deercord sprang and stomped Applejack into the ground, making another crater.
I tried the gem buzzsaw again. Deercord merely smirked and jumped over that too, leaving it headed right at Applejack. I gracefully split the buzz saw in two, avoiding her and slinging it back towards Deercord from two directions. When the two halves met, it shattered to pieces... but so did one of Deercord's horns.
Deercord looked more shocked than alarmed seeing the pieces fall everywhere. "But... that's impossible!" Trixie used her cape as a glider, casting that wind spell of hers to give herself a boost, and drop Spike right on Deercord's back. Spike didn't hesitate to claw, bite, scorch for all he was worth. Deercord bucked and kicked to get him off, and finally flipped on his back trying to crush Spike but to no avail, Spike held on.
A magic surge from Trixie created an ice pillar right under Deercord that flung him skyward. Spike rolled off just as he launched. Trixie fainted, panting for breath... that was the last of her mana.
= Tables turn - Wonderful 101 =
I placed a hoof gently on Applejack's side. My armor glowed dimmer, hers glowed brighter and brighter, and the red light then swam to her hooves.
"You're finished!" I shouted at Deercord.
As Deercord fell, Applejack leapt from the ground like a home run ball.
"Prepare ta lose it all!"
Applejack's buck struck Deercord right in the center of his being. The shockwave rippled through his body.
"Discord, you bastard..." hissed Deercord, chaos magic streaming from his broken form. "You knew this would happen... didn't you?!"
"He's pathetic," said Diamond Tiara's Nightmare. "But you? You're contemptible."
"HI-YA!" I leapt into the air myself, and with one spin kick... I shattered him. His shards scattered.
Applejack landed on four hooves. I gracefully landed on two.
"It's over!" I shouted.
Deercord's fragments burst into multicolored plaid smoke, flowing back into Discord like Dragocord before him. I trotted over to Trixie, and touched my horn to hers. I felt dizzy for a moment, but Trixie blinked her eyes open and pushed herself back to her hooves, her horn glowing again. "Did... we win?"
I gave her a nuzzle. "Yes dear... most definitely yes."
"Not quite yet. We've still got the old snake himself to deal with, don't forget!" Applejack said. Then she smiled too. "But did we kick over-sized-antlers' behind? Eeyup, Ah reckon we did!"
"YES!" cheered Spike. "We were so cool!!"
"Yes... yes you were, " Discord grudgingly admitted.
"Yeah, how do ya like THEM apples?" AJ shouted.
"I could have done better. Of course, I'm me, and you're not! A pity you didn't have a larger audience, Miss Lulamoon, but even if it's for an audience of just one, the show must go on."
"Trixie does not need a hack such as yourself to tutor her on proper showcraft."
"You wound my pride, miss! Again, even!" Discord chuckled, surprisingly.
Spike sighed, looking over his shoulder. "I really want my own wings now."
"Don't worry dear," I assured him. "I'm sure you'll grow them in time, and they shall be magnificent."
The wall of black magic around us faded away.
"Surprised we beat 'em?" Applejack asked.
Discord didn't say anything.
"I just stood here and watched you fight for your life, Miss Rarity," said Diamond Tiara's Nightfilly. "I didn't fret. I didn't smile. You and your friends could have died. I didn't lift a hoof to help, and I wouldn't have shed a single tear. Are you going to stop this nonsense of trying to 'save me' now?"
"You don't know Rarity very well do you?" I've never been so happy to see Pinkie Pie randomly hop into my field of view from nowhere.
"Pinkie Pie! Yer a sight for sore eyes!" Applejack said.
"Guess what, I just finished talking with the Princesses and Twilight and they already beat their bits of Discord and so did I and..."
"What about Sweetie Belle?"
"And Apple Bloom?"
"And Silver Spoon?" Spike asked.
"Sorry, the fillies and Dashie aren't quite done yet I think." Pinkie's left ear and tail twitched. "Maybe! Things feel kinda weird."
"Maybe you're talking to a shadow right now," Diamond Tiara said. "Maybe my black magic is messing with your sense of time. If you destroy me, you destroy Discord's only link to this world, and all his detachments with him."
I stood my ground. "I said I'd save you without putting Sweetie Belle at risk, and I still fully intend to do so!"
"You'd better find a way quickly, then," said Discord. He wasn't smiling. "If you bore me, little ponies, I might knock Canterlot right off this mountain, anti-Chaos spell and all."
"Yer lyin' about the last part."
Discord fumed, blowing a tea kettle whistle on top of his head. "Sorry, I keep forgetting you're here. Buzzkill. Of course, once all my Detachments are beaten, I'll just crush you myself with all their powers combined and more. Clock's ticking!"
"Liar."
"You know that's really ruining my show!"
"Yer welcome."