Stargate Command Infirmary
Princess Twilight spoke with General Landry while following Doctor Lam's instructions for the examination, "I must say, General, this is quite the impressive base of operations you have." The princess eyed the medical equipment that was currently scanning her head as she stood perfectly still, "You've got such impressive technology, not to mention the nullstone everywhere."
"What's nullstone?" Sweetie asked, before Landry could ask the same thing.
Twilight arched one eyebrow, still holding her head still for the scan. "It's the only anti-magic material we've ever encountered," she said. "It's naturally-occurring, but I'm not surprised you didn't learn about it in school, considering the entirety of Equestria's store of nullstone was used for security around Princess-level secrets. According to Starlight Glimmer, Queen Chrysalis had managed to generate a similar effect without actually using nullstone, and her anti-magic field didn't affect changelings. But King Thorax was never able to figure out how it worked after the device was destroyed and Chrysalis was deposed.
"However, I am surprised that you haven't noticed how much of this base is resistant to your magic, Sweetie Belle. Even the doors!" the Princess marvelled. "This place must have cost a significant fortune to build. I can understand why, though, with the presence of the anchor ring."
"The doors... you mean steel?!" General Landry asked as Twilight was released from the scanning machine.
"Isn't steel an alloy?" Sweetie asked.
"Iron, then?" Landry suggested. "Princess, iron is one of the most common elements in this galaxy. This planet's core is made of iron and nickel, even."
Princess Twilight's eyes bulged, and her jaw dropped in surprise. Spike, who completed the medical exam before he would allow Twilight to be subjected to it, spoke up, "Maybe that's why Discord sent Sweetie Belle here, because this universe has so much nullstone? What about other ponies? If Discord found a nullstone-rich universe to send Sweetie to, maybe he sent others here, as well!"
Before Landry could ask Spike what he meant by "this universe" or answer his question about other ponies, Carter walked into the room.
"General! I've deciphered what the gate was trying to tell us about the strange incoming wormhole. It turns out, the signal we were getting means the other side of the connection is something outside any of the Ancients' Stargate networks. Whatever the princess used to dial us, it wasn't a Stargate," she reported. "Oh, hello, Princess," she bowed slightly, noticing the royal alien in the room. "Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter, or Doctor Carter if you prefer," she introduced herself.
When Carter had first begun speaking, she had drawn Princess Twilight's attention, and Twilight had frozen in shock. By the time Carter had bowed, there were tears in the princess' eyes. "You don't have to bow to me, Rainbow Dash," Twilight said, using a hoof under Carter's chin to lift her head. "You never have to bow to me."
After a moment of looking into Carter's eyes, the princess finally broke. Tears of joy flowed freely, and Carter was enveloped in Twilight's embrace. "I've missed you so much," she cried, "you have no idea!"
Carter looked over the princess' withers to General Landry and mouthed, "help me" as Twilight sobbed into her prismatic mane. Sweetie looked up to the General and said, "I told you it would be awkward."
Stargate Command Briefing Room
Once Twilight had composed herself and Doctor Lam completed the remainder of her medical examination – conferring with Sweetie Belle on a few points of basic pony anatomy to confirm that Twilight's readings were normal – the group rejoined Daniel, Cameron, and Jack in the briefing room. Teal'c also joined them, after her recent release from medical supervision, with her tail still in the complex braid she had used on her unsanctioned mission to find Kaggen. She had bandages to rival Sweetie Belle, although many of them were hidden under the PT gear she was wearing, but otherwise remained her stoic self.
Twilight almost lost it again at the sight of three more of her friends, but letting out some of the stress with Carter allowed her to hold back the waterworks. Instead, she seemed confused by Teal'c.
"What in the world is that on your forehead, Fluttershy?" Twilight asked.
Teal'c looked up and cross-eyed for a moment, attempting to see her own forehead, before returning her attention to the princess. "It is the mark of the false god Apophis," she replied with a frown. "As a child, his mark was tattooed to my skin. When I became his First Prime, one of his priests cut into my flesh with a ritual dagger, and poured molten gold into the wound as a symbol of my new status."
"Ah'm surprised it didn't fall off or something during the transformation," Daniel remarked.
"Indeed."
Sweetie turned slightly green at the description of the process Jaffa First Primes went through, but Twilight and Spike seemed unfazed. "Couldn't you cut the gold out?" Spike asked. "It would probably leave a scar, but better a scar than the symbol of an oppressor."
"I bear this mark to remind myself every day of the atrocities I committed in Apophis' name!" Teal'c cried, flaring her wings and stomping one hoof for emphasis. "I burned the tattoo from my son's skin, so that he may be a truly free Jaffa, but he was never a warrior of Apophis. To remove my mark would be to forget the countless innocent lives that were ended by my hoof!"
"Hey, calm down Teal'c," Mitchell said, placing a calming hoof on the other mare's shoulder. "You don't need to snap at them, they don't know your history."
"Excuse me!" Twilight objected. "I was best friends with Fluttershy for nearly two decades! Almost half of her lifetime! I should think I know her history quite well!"
"Oh dear," Sweetie winced.
"Less than two decades? Hah!" Mitchell laughed bitterly. "Teal'c is over a hundred years old! Even if Cassandra is telling the truth, that everypony who's been transformed was one of your citizens sent to the Milky Way by 'Discord,' then by your own admission Teal'c has been a Jaffa for more than twice as long as she's been a pony."
Princess Twilight took a reflexive step backwards at the verbal assault Mitchell was unleashing. This wasn't how her reunion was meant to be!
But Mitchell wasn't done, "We all had lives before this transformation thing started, Princess," she spat. "And we're not going to leave those lives behind just because some pretty purple pony princess from the land of sunshine and rainbows says she's our long-lost friend!"
"Lieutenant Colonel Cameron Mitchell! What the hell has come over you?!" Landry shouted. "You are dismissed!"
"But—"
"I said you are dismissed!"
Mitchell plodded out of the room, ears drooping and head hung low. Sweetie smirked slightly at the look Spike gave her as she left.
"My apologies, Princes Twilight, rest assured that Mitchell will be appropriately disciplined later. That is not how we treat visiting friendly dignitaries," Landry said, gesturing for everyone to take a seat at the conference table.
"Rarity was wrong about one thing, General," Twilight said once she had taken her place at the table, opting to sit on the floor rather than use a chair. "Equestria isn't 'the land of sunshine and rainbows,' or at least it hasn't been since Discord took over."
Twilight's horn flared, and she projected the magical equivalent of a slide show hovering over the table. Some of the images were what Sweetie would have expected following a statement like "Discord took over," such as dancing inanimate objects and upside-down houses. But some of the images were far bleaker. An aerial picture of Ponyville hit too close to home, literally, with half the town covered by an encroaching Everfree Forest, timberwolves roaming the streets, and Twilight's castle smashed into a pile of rubble.
"Discord cursed nine out of every ten ponies," Twilight said as image after image of a ruined Equestria slid by, "starting with my friends and their families, so that we would be unable to unite against him. I don't know if his curse doesn't work against alicorns, or if he just wanted us as his playthings, because the five of us were spared.
"None of the other species were cursed. I can't say why, for certain; hardly anything is certain when it comes to Discord. The griffons tried to strike back, and many of the remaining ponies tried to help, but Discord's chaos magic was too much.
"We princesses led the pony resistance against him. Two years after Discord took control, Dragon Lord Ember finally gave up her title," a picture of a blue dragon with a similar build to Spike appeared. "She tried get Spike to take on the mantle of Dragon Lord, but he refused."
"I was raised like a pony," Spike explained with some sorrow in his voice. "Most of the dragons wouldn't have accepted me as their leader, even if I had taken the title. Besides, ruling the dragons would mean I couldn't be by Twilight's side."
Twilight nodded at him with a supportive smile, "Instead, a shortsighted young dragon named Garble earned the title of Dragon Lord, and he was no friend to ponies, or to Spike." Ember's picture was replaced by another dragon with red scales and a significant overbite. "Discord secured an alliance with the dragons on the simple promise of an infinite supply of gemstones, and a consistent day-night cycle.
"While Discord could manipulate the sun and the moon on a whim, his personality is naturally erratic, and he wouldn't be able to maintain a strict cycle. Acknowledging his own failing in this regard, he kidnapped Celestia and Luna. We don't know where they are now, but day and night have been progressing normally since, so they must still be alive and capable of at least some magic.
"Then, five years into Discord's rule, Cadance discovered the text of his curse, and became convinced that the missing ponies had been sent to an alternate universe. With my help and a hoofful of guardsponies, she has been systematically searching through the Crystal Mirror to find everypony who was taken away. Flurry Heart was left to lead the resistance alone for twenty years, with Cadance and myself stepping away from our search to assist in major engagements against the dragons and the chaos spawn. And now we're here," the princess concluded.
"If you're asking us to send every transformation victim on the planet through the Stargate with you, I'm afraid that's simply not an option," Landry said. "At last estimate, there are 2.7 million transformation victims spread across hundreds of countries, several of which are not friendly to the United States. And," the general stressed, "the civilian population doesn't even know the Stargate exists, nor is President Hayes willing to declassify the Stargate program, so far as I'm aware."
Twilight looked to her friends that were present, and there was no hint of recognition in their eyes. Only Sweetie Belle remembered Equestria. "General, from the way you describe the situation, am I to understand that Sweetie is the only one to have regained her memories of being a pony?" she asked.
Landry nodded, "I haven't received any reports of other victims talking about your world. The doctors have noted consistent replacement of certain vocabulary words, such as 'anypony' instead of 'anyone,' but other than that, we haven't noticed any psychological changes."
Twilight lowered her head in thought, holding her chin in one hoof. As the pause in the conversation stretched and started to become uncomfortable, General O'Neill spoke for the first time since Twilight's arrival, "She didn't fall asleep with her eyes open, did she? I knew a guy in Basic that slept with his eyes open. It was creepy."
Spike shook his head, "No, she's just thinking. It's a bad habit she's picked up, but at least it's better than when she would talk to herself." He returned his attention to Landry and said, "How many ponies did you say there were? 2.7 million?"
"Approximately, yes," the general confirmed.
Spike inhaled deeply, his chest inflating far beyond what the others would have expected was possible. Before anyone could ask what he was doing, he released the breath in a fiery belch, spewing green flames above the conference table. Everyone else save Twilight, who was still lost in thought, ducked in surprise.
"What on God's green earth...?" Landy muttered.
The flames coalesced into several thickly rolled scrolls, which dropped into Spike's waiting claws. As he unfurled the first scroll, he noticed the wide-eyed reaction the others were giving him. "These are copies of the last censuses taken in nations with significant pony populations before Discord took over," he explained, completely missing the point.
Spike partially unrolled each of the scrolls he had summoned, pointing out a figure near the bottom of each. He claimed they were population totals, but the written language was unreadable to most of the people sitting at the table.
"It looks a bit like Cuneiform," Daniel said, "but the divergence is large enough that Ah wouldn't be confident translatin' a document like this without several weeks of study."
Spike's eye ridges rose in surprise. "I guess it makes sense that you all wouldn't be able to read if you'd lost your memories. No offense, generals," he said, giving a nod to the pair of humans in the room. "It's a bit of a surprise to see everypony deferring to Applejack on an unknown language, though."
Daniel frowned. "Ah've got PhDs in archaeology, anthropology, and philology, and Ah'm a polyglot conversant in over twenty languages," she said. "Ah should hope everypony would defer to me on somethin' like this!"
Spike lifted his claws in surrender. "Okay, okay! It's just not what I expected; before Discord attacked, you were an apple farmer, and proud of it," he pointed to the mark on Daniel's flank as though that were all the proof anyone would need. Daniel's gaze followed Spike's pointing claw, and her frown deepened.
"Anyway," Spike returned to the scrolls, "the written language is called Poneiform, and it has been the common language for government work for centuries, thanks to the strength of Equestria as a nation, not to mention its rulers literally controlling the heavens. Even the Dragons write Poneiform. At least, those few dragons who bother to become literate do," he added, with a self-deprecating grin.
Spike pointed to the figures on the scrolls again, "These numbers suggest a planetary pony population of close to 300 million, and as Twilight said, Discord cursed roughly nine out of every ten ponies, so far as we can tell. Obviously, we don't have any reliable census data for after the chaos," he chuckled. "If there are only 2.7 million ponies in this universe, then even if we did get every single one of them back home, that's only one percent of the missing citizens."
The ponies and humans around the conference table looked at each other awkwardly. "You seem to be misunderstanding," Landry said, "there are 2.7 million on this planet. There are absolutely more transformation victims elsewhere in the Milky Way." The general pointed to the window leading to the embarkation room and said, "The Stargate leads to tens of thousands of other planets, possibly hundreds of thousands. There are humans like ourselves and Jaffa like Teal'c out there, and we know at the very least that some members of the Free Jaffa Nation have been transforming. We have one of their leaders in intensive care right now."
Spike's mood brightened considerably at the news. "Interstellar travel? That's incredible! It's like a science fiction book come to life! If even a hundred of those other planets have a pony population like yours, then we might have found the universe we were looking for!"
Twilight took that moment to come out of her moment of deep thought, clopping one hoof on the table and exclaiming, "I've got it!"
"Back with us, Princess?" O'Neill asked.
"This whole curse is borne of chaotic magic," Twilight explained. "Breaking it is going to require the strongest harmonic magic we can field, and that means retrieving the Elements of Harmony."
"But if you take the Elements back, won't the Plundervines overrun Ponyville again?" Sweetie asked.
Twilight shook her head sadly, "The Plundervines are already overrunning Ponyville. Look closely." She projected the same image from before, of a town overtaken by a forest, with wooden wolves roaming the streets. The projection telescoped in on one of the houses; what had appeared from a high altitude to be shadows caused by damage on the roof was actually thick black vines with large thorns. Sweetie gasped and covered her mouth with both hooves, and Twilight said, "I haven't had the opportunity to investigate the fate that has befallen the Tree of Harmony, which was supposed to keep the Plundervines in check. But now that we've found most of the Bearers, I do think that the Elements could turn the tide."
"'Bearers?'" Daniel asked. "Ah'm sorry, Ah think you're assumin' knowledge we don't have."
"Oh, of course! My apologies," Twilight smiled. Her cadence changed slightly as she began her explanation, "The Tree of Harmony was discovered by the not-yet Princesses Celestia and Luna just fifty years following the Grand Unification—"
"Nope!" Spike interrupted the princess, clamping her mouth closed with his claws. Turning to Daniel, he said, "The Elements of Harmony are a set of six immensely magical artifacts which can only be wielded by specific individuals, who are currently Twilight and her friends. They originally came from the Tree of Harmony, and nearly half a century ago the Elements were returned to the Tree."
Spike released Twilight's muzzle when he finished, pointedly ignoring the glare he received in return. "That was entirely uncalled for," she said.
"You were starting to recite your magnum opus on the subject," Spike countered.
"I'm sorry, I still don't quite understand," Carter inserted herself into the conversation. "The two of you keep going on about 'magic,' but what do these Elements actually do?"
Twilight cocked her head as she considered Carter. "Are your people familiar with the fundamental forces of magic?" she asked.
Carter's muzzle scrunched up, "The four fundamental forces of nature are gravitational, electromagnetic, strong, and weak, if that's what you mean."
Twilight shook her head, "I don't think so. The fundamental forces of magic are harmonic, chaotic, thaumic, and inherent. Inherent magic comes naturally to every creature with magic: earth pony strength, unicorn telekinesis, et cetera." She demonstrated her point by levitating the water pitcher kept on the conference table, pouring a glass, and levitating the glass to take a drink.
"Thaumic magic is designed, usually by unicorns. I'll spare you the details of how designing a spell works," she gave Spike a glance, and he smirked back, "but suffice to say it shares some similarities with inherent magic, yet has a significantly broader range of possible applications.
"Chaotic and harmonic magic, on the other hoof, can't normally be used by ponies. Discord is a Draconequus, and is a natural user of chaotic magic, while the Tree of Harmony is a font of harmonic magic, and the Elements of Harmony enable the Bearers to leverage it," Twilight explained. "Further, chaotic and harmonic magic are opposites, similar to acids and matrices."
"Acids and matrices?" Sam asked with one eyebrow raised.
"Acids and bases," Daniel supplied.
"Ah," Sam nodded.
General O'Neill crossed his arms and said, "So... we stuff an Alka-Seltzer down everyone's throat to cure them?"
Sam nodded, hesitantly, "Between what I understand of what Princess Twilight has told us and inferences into the things I admit I don't really understand yet, you're not far off from her basic plan, sir."
Sweetie Belle clapped her hooves and grinned, "The Elements are the antacid and Discord's curse is the heartburn!"
"We do need to retrieve the Elements themselves, of course," Twilight nodded. "And while most of the Bearers are here, we will also have to find Pinkie Pie. That will probably be a tremendous task," she sighed.
"Hold on, Princess," General Landry cautioned. "My people have no experience fighting in their transformed bodies, and frankly I suspect everyone here is interested in finding out how you and Cassandra do what you do. Even if you were to hand me a dossier with perfect intelligence on both these Elements and the location of whoever has become your friend Pinkie Pie, I'm not going to sign off on any mission with my people without retraining them."
Twilight jumped to her hooves, outraged at the general's denial. "You're not going to... these are my little ponies! My friends! You can't hold them hostage!"
"From my point of view, they're my subordinates, and none of them have seen you in their lives," Landry matched Twilight's motion, rising from his seat as well.
Realizing that the first-contact meeting was getting far too heated, Landry took a calming breath and slowly sat back down, his deliberate actions prompting Twilight to do the same. "I am sympathetic to your plight, Princess, not the least because Cassandra-slash-Sweetie vouches for you," he said. "It seems like you'll be able to supply intelligence on the location of these Elements you want us to retrieve, as well. But I meant it when I say that I don't want to endanger my people by sending them out into what is clearly a combat situation, without being confident that the dramatic changes to their bodies will not impede their combat readiness.
"To that end, would you consider acting as a teacher for my transformed personnel, instructing them in the use of the new abilities they apparently have?" Landry asked.
Twilight's eyes sparkled, with a wide grin spread across her face. Spike smirked and said, "General, I think you just said the second best thing to lift Twilight's spirits, right below presenting her with all of her friends with their memories restored." Spike nudged the princess to get her attention and suggested, "You should get Sweetie to help. You gave her a great magical foundation as a filly, and it would let you devote more time to teaching the pegasi and earth ponies."
Twilight nodded, "That sounds like a wonderful idea, Spike! Sweetie, would you be willing to teach these unicorns how to use magic again?"
Sweetie held out a hoof. "Cough up the bits, and I'm in!"
Jack laughed, "Are you sure you were studying astrophysics at Embry-Riddle? Sounds like you were studying art!"
Sweetie shrugged, "I've been a poor college student in two lifetimes, I know what I need for my time."
"PrincessTwilight, if I may?" Teal'c asked. When Twilight gave her attention, Teal'c continued, "The Tau'ri have a considerable capacity for gathering information on their own planet. If you would share a description of your friend you still wish to find, and she is on Earth, we could likely find her before completing the training you have agreed to assist with."
"Who are the Tau'ri?" Spike asked.
"It's a Goa'uld word," Daniel said. "It means 'ones from the first world,' referring to Earth as the planet that humans evolved on."
"So, we might be able to find Pinkie quickly? That's wonderful!" Twilight said.
The princess began to describe her friend in detail, from her coloration, to her cutie mark, to her personality. As the description continued, Daniel started fidgeting and throwing glances to Teal'c. Teal'c, for her part, could not seem to control her wings.
Eventually, General O'Neill interrupted Twilight in the middle of describing Pinkie Pie's place of work, which was completely irrelevant to trying to find a human that had turned into her. "Okay, you two," he said, "who filled your pants with fire ants?"
"General Landry, don't ya think this Pinkie Pie sounds awful familiar?" Daniel asked.
"I wish she didn't," Hank replied. At the questioning look from O'Neill and the hopeful look from Princess Twilight, he added, "Several members of SG-1 ran an unsanctioned mission to attempt to capture a being named Kaggen by the Goa'uld, who I am beginning to suspect is an alias for the Discord that Princess Twilight is talking about. They encountered a Goa'uld System Lord named Ba'al, who was in the midst of the transformation process. The description of Pinkie Pie matches the partially-transformed Ba'al insofar as any partially-transformed individual matches the description of the final state."
"You mentioned the Goa'uld before," Spike said, "who are they?"
"Snakes that wrap around your brain and puppet your body!" O'Neill said.
"False gods, deserving of death," Teal'c added.
Carter rolled her eyes at the others' outbursts, "The Goa'uld are a race of parasites, capable of wholly controlling their host's body. They found Earth thousands of years ago, taking humans as hosts and as slaves, and eventually breeding humans into the Jaffa. 'System Lord' is a member of the ruling class of the Goa'uld Empire."
"An empire which, I might add, we have almost completely disassembled," Jack added. "Killing gods is practically our hobby."
Twilight's ears fell. "They're like Nightmares," she whispered.
"It's worse than a simple nightmare, Princess," Landry said. "Long before the transformations began, Ba'al created clones of himself and his host. According to Doctor Lam, the transformation should have affected all of them."
Spike's eyes widened. "Nightmare Pinkie jumped in the Mirror Pool? Whelp, we're doomed!"