Almost everyone, ponies and people both? They don’t understand me! That’s okay! I admit a lot of the time I don’t get myself! I mean, gosh, here I am chattering away to myself in my head and of course that’s weird, a little, but that doesn’t really matter if it doesn’t hurt anyone, does it?
Sorry, me! I’m getting carried away. I mean, of course I am, it’s just today I’m so excited and so nervous and so everything and oh gosh gosh gosh! Okay, okay, talking to me-me is just going to get silly, you know? So I’m going to talk to you! Hey you, out there! I mean, okay, you’re not really there, but I’m going to pretend you are! But you’re probably confused, so let’s say hi first!
Hi! I’m Pinkie Pie! But you probably know that. I bet you know a lot! Let’s see, uhm, well, just in case you don’t, I’m the one who loves to make everyone smile, laugh, and cheer! Whether it’s my family or my friends, what makes me happy is when I bring even more joy to the world! It’s a big job, really. A hard job! And it confuses everyone because of course they don’t understand how or why I do what I do!
Okay, okay, sorry! I’m stalling. I’m just really nervous and, well, today is a super excited day and I think I already said that but oh gosh, okay, okay, so here it comes! I have a friend. A really good friend. Her name is Sunset Shimmer, and she’s from Equestria, and even though she was born a pony she’s a human now and you know what I’m going to assume you know all of this already because who wants boring exposition, right?!
Well, okay, Twilight would. She’d find it fascinating. She’d say ‘Pinkie, I know, but I want to hear you tell it, because you’re my friend and also can you please wear all these blinkie things so I can take measurements and do science!’
I love Twilight. And all my friends! But most of all, I love Sunset.
There! I said it! Omigosh, I said it. I mean, not out loud, but…
“I love Sunset!”
There! Uh, you can’t hear it, but it was kind of a whisper, really, but oh gosh I haven’t said it aloud till now. It still is making my tummy go flippy-flopsy-turvy-topsy but it’s the good kind like being tickled and riding a rollercoaster and like if you could taste cake in your tummy and it was sweet and ticklish!
...Now I want cake! This is your fault, uhm, oh, well, YOU! Because talking to you made me think of sugar and, and, I’ll be right back!
Okay I guess I can’t really be right back but like, kitchen, counter, open cupboard, go into ‘Sour Iced Coffee’ and yep! Emergency cake stash.
“Kanamari 'uv 'ive…” Wait, no, no talking with my mouth full, but, but...
Mm...chocolate cake. So goooooeeey and sweeeeet.
Like Sunset! Who I have a crush on. Which I bet you got, invisible fantasy head-talky-not-me-entity! I have a crush on Sunset! A big, big, big one!
So maybe I should say how! So, of course, she used to be the biggest meanie of them all, at least in her new world. In Equestria, well, okay, she’s kind of...not. I mean, she was a really big meanie, but omigosh if you’d ever gone sailing west and gone reeeeaaallllyyy far until there was no land for days and weeks and then you dove down, down, down, down?
That’s a true meanie. But that’s what all the chains and eldritch runes and stuff is for. And Luna! I mean, she doesn’t know, but since she keeps moving the stars they’ll never be quite right and so it’s not gonna wake up and if it DID wake up that would be bad.
Really, really - sorry! Rambly Pie.
So, so, Sunset was a meanie, and now she isn’t, and it turns out that not-mean Sunset is super nice, and also then the Sirens were like ‘WE WANT TO MAKE EVERYONE FIGHT’ and Sunset was like ‘Nooooooo that’s bad’ and everyone else was like ‘BATTLE! OF THE BANDS! Also remember that time you turned into a raging she-demon and nearly destroyed the school?’ and then she’d get pouty and it was really cute.
Also! Also, there’s another Pinkie Pie! And we couldn’t meet until Twilight opened the portal forever and ever but maaaaybe while the Sirens were trying to take over the school and there was the slumber party, maaaybe the both of us got curious and went through the portal at the same time bumped into each other and it got really silly because we wanted to meet, but we kept doing the same thing so I’d go out one end and she’d come out the other and then I’d be like ‘Okay Pinkie, you stay put and wait!’ and then she would and finally it worked because Spike came in on the Pony side and distracted me and the other Pinkie wasn’t and then we met and bribed Spike with a bunch of ice cream not to tell.
It’s been SO COOL ever since. I love visiting the other world and now I have TWICE as many friends and best of all, I’m friends with ME! I wish my friends got to be friends with themselves but Rainbow Dash and Rainbow Dash would just talk about how awesome they are nonstop and Rarity and Rarity would make a million dresses and drown the world in fabric and Applejack and Applejack would try to outdo each other on whose farm owes the most back taxes and maybe that’s not the best idea at all. But two of me? Well! You know what?
It makes planning parties a lot easier when you can be in two places at once without using the mirror pool.
Just don’t tell Twilight!
Well, I guess you can’t since you can’t talk but it’s the principle of the thing! Pinkie Promise. Cross your heart and hope to fly and you know the rest. Five points for Canterlot if you did it! Or wherever you’re from. Pinkie Points are good in every universe, redeemable at any Pinkie Pie for cupcakes, cookies, and chewy confectionery of every scrumptious variety!
If it wasn’t already like, toooootttaaally obvious I’m bad at staying on one subject!
So Sunset is good now, and she beats those big meanie Sirens and sings an awesome song and there’s lights and lasers and everyone forgives her and moooostly drops the she-demon thing.
And she’s my friend for real, finally! And other Pinkie’s friend.
It’s kinda funny, there’s two of almost everyone except Sunset. And that makes her special!
And I like her. Like, like-like her. Because she’s cool like Rainbow Dash and smart like Twilight and serious like Applejack and basically is all my friends in one and how can you NOT love that?!
That brings me to today! Every Saturday, Sunset goes for a walk in the park during twilight - the sunset kind, not the sunrise kind, though the sunrise kind would be funnier, really, but she doesn’t do it so it’s not but I can imagine it!
Or, at least she does if it isn’t raining, and sometimes when it is raining, and today it’s not raining and the weather will be perfect and I’ve planted like a dozen special surprises along the route and at the very end I’m going to pop out and surprise her and tell her how I feel! And it’s even better because right now all the leaves are the color of her mane and she’ll look so pretty when I finally reveal everything!
And hopefully she feels the same or at least is like ‘Okay Pinkie, we can try a date!’ and if it goes perfect I get to kiss her and she smells like burnt cinnamon. Just a little burnt, enough that it’s still tasty but unique and I really really REALLY want to know if she tastes like she smells.
So yay! Now you are all caught up! And now I’m not as nervous I think. I’m still really really nervous but talking it out or thinking it out or whatevering it out, I’m sure there’s some big fancy word but you’re not Twilight and even if you were you can’t talk so you can’t tell me, sorry! But if you know the word think it and then you get to feel smart ‘cause you thought of a cool word I couldn’t!
And that makes you special.
Everyone is special in their own way, although some kinds of special are not-so-nice and that’s sad, because being mean is sad and it’s awful when the kind of special someone is is the kind that’s hurty. I don’t get it. Why would you wanna make anyone else sad on purpose?
Oh I know, I know, bullies and projection and psychology and so on but deep down, deeeep down those sorts don’t really want to but there are those who DO want to and I don’t get that at all.
FOCUS PINKIE! OW!
...I just slapped myself. Not hard but still ouchie but okay, okay, deep breath! It’s a bit of a trip to the park but I know a shortcut or three. So all I need to do is a little of this and then that and duck behind this bush aaaaannndd…
Ooh, birdies!
“Hi birdies!”
...They flew away. Maybe I was a little too loud. But I’m here and Sunset should be here any moment and I have my first surprise ready to go. It’s nothing fancy, it’s just a bunch of balloons that when she steps on the right stick the balloons will release and there will be a chirpy-bird-noise and she’ll look up and see them and they all say You’re Special, Sunny! And she’ll smile I think.
Any moment now, aaaannnyy moment…
And there she is and and - wait, uhm…
Uhm.
Uhm.
She’s not alone. She’s supposed to be alone but there’s someone else coming and it’s...me?
I mean it’s the other me, of course it’s the other me and that makes sense! She probably wanted to see her friend and so is walking with her today! That’s okay! In fact that makes it EVEN BETTER because now the surprise will have a witness and if there’s anypony who understands me best it’s me, and so I bet she’ll figure out what’s up immediately and help out and ohgosh this will be so cool and any moment now it’s so hard not to leap out and yell ‘Surprise!’ already and, and…
And she stepped on the stick and there go the balloons and…
And she didn’t look up. She’s looking at Pinkie. Other Pinkie. Pinkie Pi. Well, there’s not THREE Pinkies so Pinkie...Plus One? But she missed the surprise!
Those poor balloons.
:(
That’s a frownie face. Cause I’m frowning and you can’t see it so I made a thinky-Pinkie-frown just for you too because it’s sad the balloons don’t get to make her smile.
Okay, okay, there’s lots more surprises so she’ll see the next one and then she’ll know to keep looking and we won’t miss any more and it will all be okay again!
And it’s a wowie! Sunny...Sunset, I mean, but Sunny is a cute name for her and I hope she lets me use it whenever I want soon, but Sunset really likes double fudge ultra white chocolate cookies! And up next is a really pretty rock she likes to look at and sit on to take a little break and I put the cookies there in a cute little box with ‘For Sunset!’ on it so she knows it’s for her.
So I just gotta wait here because I snuck ahead and they’re coming around the bend and Pinkie is pointing left and Sunny is looking and they just walked right past the rock and are moving forward and THEY JUST WALKED RIGHT PAST THE ROCK!
Sunset didn’t stop! She always stops here! She says it’s her absolute favorite spot in the entire park and she didn’t stop and she didn’t see the cookies and OTHER ME WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
Okay, okay, deep breath Pinkie, do the thing Twilight does - Princess Twilight that is, not Science Twilight because there are two of them and really it’s Princess Cadance’s thing most of all or at least that’s who showed it first, I mean, from a certain point of view but anyways it works and I’m feeling better again and there’s still more surprises to come.
I’ll just put the cookies in my pocket and give them to her at the end! That’s...that’s not quite as special, but it will do okay still.
And there’s still like, a dozen surprises left! Maybe more. I sort of kind of forgot exactly how many I got ready! Hee! But that’s actually more fun, because that means that the unexpected surprise that surprises Sunset gets to surprise me too and that’s an extra surprise!
So, okay, the best part is surprise number three is right after surprise number two, and so when I catch up to them I bet I’ll see Sunset giggling because she always giggles at silly animal pictures and I left a big shoebox full of them that’s going to swing right in front of her face when I spring the release and there’s no way she can miss it and
And they’re almost there and I just hit the little lever and Pinkie just grabbed Sunset’s hand and started running and they’re giggling and the shoebox is behind them and my third surprise got missed and....
This isn’t how I thought this was going to go at all! I, I, I, I….it’s okay Pinkie Pie. It’s okay, right? There’s still more surprises. Lots more surprises! I prepared a lot just in case Sunny missed one or two or three now I guess but there’s the others and HEY! Stop running you two are running past surprises number four and five and, and, and!
“Sunset! Wait!’
Wait, no, I didn’t mean to speak, omigosh, she’s going to see me and then the surprise is ruined but at least then I’ll be able to tell her to keep looking and -
And they’re not stopping! How are they not stopping?! I mean okay it’s not like I screamed but it’s not like I was Fluttershy-quiet either! But, but, buuuut they’re still running and not turning around and if they keep running they’re going to run past surprises seven and eight and ruin those surprises too and Pinkie Pie how could you and and and and and and aaaaannnnddd
Pffweeeeeee! Is how I feel. A sad balloon that’s lost all the air because they did run past it and all I wanted was Sunny to know how I feel and she’s not because the other me is distracting her and all my plans are going to ruin and this was going to be the best day ever and special and now it’s not and I don’t know what to do at this rate they’re going to head straight for the lake and OF COURSE!
I know what to do! Okay, okay, it’s not one of my planned surprises, but sometimes you have to use your emergency party cannon slash fireworks stash!
One of them, anyways. You never know when you need fireworks, or just a cannon, or confetti, because of course I keep confetti there too that means I can use it for more than one thing and I’m getting ahead of myself!
Just liiiiift up this rock and duck under it and through the secret tunnel and lift the other rock and out on the other side of the pond and get the party cannon stash and this time there is absolutely no way they can miss me because there they are and omigosh the sun is setting that’s why they’re running of course they want to see the sunset!
Hee hee hee. I’m going to surprise Sunset at sunset. First with lots of flashy colors, and then the last one will make her face and ‘You are the best Sunny’ and that was one of the hardest fireworks to make.
Cheese Sandwich helped but don’t tell, okay?!
Okay so they’re sitting on a hill now, looking over the lake, and here we go and the fuse is lit and up goes the first one and Prrrllrlrlrlrlr kwr-reeeeeeeeee BOOOOOOOOM!
Ooh, it’s pretty, all pink and green and sparkly! And now for number two and three, and four and five and so many pretty booms and just set up the next ones and add in a longer fuse so I can watch and then look at Sunny and Pinkie kissing and not looking at the fireworks and SUNNY AND PINKIE ARE KISSING?!
But, but, but! But that’s supposed to be ME kissing her!
Yes I know it is me kissing her but it’s her-me not ME-me kissing her and that’s different and Pinkie Pie you felt the same way and you never told me why didn’t you tell me I mean I didn’t tell you but I was nervous and I was just going to...to tell today and it would be...be…
The grass is kind of wet and everything smells a little burny and I don’t care because it’s just them and not me and…
“It’s not fair…”
It isn’t! It isn’t! I worked so hard and I have fireworks going off and they aren’t even noticing! They didn’t notice anything! I, I did so much and I wanted to see my friend smile and even if she didn’t feel the same way at least she’d know how special I thought she was and we’d still be friends but she’s not even seeing that because all they are seeing is each other and I’m here too and they don’t see me whydon’ttheyseeme?
Why don’t they notice me? I’m...I’m here too…
“...Sunset. Pinkie Pie….I’m here too....”
No! No, it’s not fair! It isn’t fair at all! I want them to see me! Even if, even if other me gets to kiss Sunset and not me, I want them to know I was here too and I’m happy for them and I wish them well and I’ll be BOTH their friends and my fireworks can celebrate them but they have to look first! They have to look!
I, I, I...I want them to look. They need to see, they need to, to, okay, I have to say something, deep breath Pinkie, the right words, you know them, they’re in there, and yell the loudest you’ve ever yelled and then wave when they see you and then at least give them this one surprise and even I’m sad and my cheeks are wet and maybe I’m crying even then I’ll smile because I just want my friends to be happy and I just need the right words and they’re stopping to look at each other I think now’s the time and deep breath and there’s no way they can miss me like this.
You’re both my friends and I love you both but neither of you looked. All I want you to do is look! I, I, I, here it comes, I can’t hold it in any more, it’s time, they’re looking up and breathe Pinkie and scream it loud and proud because you know just wait to say, all they have to do is look and your friends will know how you feel and it will be okay again somehow because right now it’s all hurty and twisty and turny and I can’t stop myself it’s coming out I’m sorry I’m not sorry I love you both please don’t hate me please please just, just, just please please please just-
“NOTICE ME, SUNPIE!”